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English (HI) Subtitles.
The Big Bang Theory S09E13 [KoTuWa]
The Empathy Optimization
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00:00:02,863 --> 00:00:04,802
Hey, so I saw a movie trailer
the other day.
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00:00:04,855 --> 00:00:07,213
How could Batman
possibly fight Superman?
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00:00:07,214 --> 00:00:08,746
I mean, isn't that dumb?
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00:00:08,748 --> 00:00:10,048
Maybe he uses Kryptonite.
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00:00:10,050 --> 00:00:12,050
Well, Batman's got
a lot of money.
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00:00:12,052 --> 00:00:15,019
Maybe he builds a suit that can
do everything Superman can do.
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00:00:15,021 --> 00:00:16,354
No, no, no, no, no.
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00:00:16,356 --> 00:00:18,289
I've seen that movie.
It's called Iron Man.
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00:00:25,732 --> 00:00:27,866
(quietly):
What is happening?
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00:00:27,868 --> 00:00:30,368
I don't know.
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00:00:30,370 --> 00:00:32,871
But it's beautiful.
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00:00:34,407 --> 00:00:35,974
And now Ben Affleck
is Batman?
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00:00:35,976 --> 00:00:38,176
Oh, he was great in
Shakespeare in Love.
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00:00:38,178 --> 00:00:40,178
Ooh, we should watch that
next girls' night.
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00:00:40,180 --> 00:00:41,379
We could do a double feature
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00:00:41,381 --> 00:00:42,947
with the Leonardo DiCaprio
Romeo + Juliet.
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00:00:42,949 --> 00:00:44,716
Oh, I love me some Leo.
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00:00:44,718 --> 00:00:46,384
And it's gone.
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Oh, hello, everyone.
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I am happy to report
I'm feeling much better.
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Good for you.
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(muttering)
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My fever is gone,
my sinuses are pressure-free,
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00:00:57,664 --> 00:01:01,165
and my mucus is as clear
as a Yosemite waterfall.
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00:01:02,569 --> 00:01:04,669
Glad to hear it.
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00:01:05,839 --> 00:01:08,540
I'll be able to return
to work tomorrow.
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00:01:09,509 --> 00:01:11,943
Yay.
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00:01:11,945 --> 00:01:14,412
Well, why isn't
everyone happy?
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Your little ray of sunshine
is ready to beam again.
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You really don't know why?
No.
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00:01:21,054 --> 00:01:23,988
But I knew that his “yay”
was sarcastic.
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Not bad for a guy
whose last bowel movement
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sounded like rain on a roof.
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Let me refresh your memory.
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Penny,
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rub Vicks on my chest.
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Sheldon, I cooked you breakfast.
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I made your bed.
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I checked your mouth for thrush.
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You can rub your own chest.
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Oh, sure, grope every other
male on the planet,
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but draw the line with me.
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I brought you a little
care package from work.
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It's our latest
antiviral
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and the best decongestant
we make.
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I hope laughter
is the best medicine,
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00:02:01,294 --> 00:02:04,128
'cause this care package
is a joke.
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00:02:04,965 --> 00:02:06,965
Hey, she came
all the way here...
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00:02:06,967 --> 00:02:08,533
(sneezes)
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00:02:12,505 --> 00:02:15,273
You're gonna want
to take these with food.
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00:02:16,977 --> 00:02:19,577
Sheldon,
stop being a baby
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and let Emily
take a look at you.
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SHELDON: She's a
dermatologist.
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I went to medical school.
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Well, in that case,
try removing
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the irritating
patch of brown skin
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standing next to you.
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All right, here you go.
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Leonard, I'm dying.
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You're not dying.
It's just the flu.
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I asked for chicken noodle.
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This is chicken and stars.
It's killing me.
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I never did get
that chicken noodle, did I?
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♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
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♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
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00:02:59,986 --> 00:03:01,619
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
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00:03:01,621 --> 00:03:04,155
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
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00:03:04,157 --> 00:03:06,824
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
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00:03:06,826 --> 00:03:09,494
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
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♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
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♪ Bang! ♪
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♪ The Big Bang Theory 9x13 ♪
The Empathy Optimization
Original Air Date on January 14, 2016
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00:03:17,368 --> 00:03:21,968
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
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(Skype ringing)
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Hi, Sheldon.
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00:03:24,739 --> 00:03:25,738
Hello.
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00:03:25,740 --> 00:03:27,540
Are you feeling any better?
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00:03:27,542 --> 00:03:29,709
Physically, yes, but I'm upset
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00:03:29,711 --> 00:03:33,279
because everyone's mad at me
for no good reason.
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00:03:34,149 --> 00:03:36,315
Why don't you tell me
what happened,
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00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:38,151
and in a gentle, loving way,
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00:03:38,153 --> 00:03:41,220
I'll explain to you
why you're wrong.
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00:03:42,090 --> 00:03:43,723
You know how, when you're sick,
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00:03:43,725 --> 00:03:46,826
you're allowed to be cranky
and say whatever you want
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00:03:46,828 --> 00:03:49,829
and other people's feelings
don't matter?
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Ooh. Gentle and loving--
this is gonna be tricky.
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00:03:54,803 --> 00:03:56,736
I had a 101 fever.
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00:03:56,738 --> 00:04:01,073
If that's not a time to verbally
abuse my loved ones, when is?
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00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:06,512
Sheldon, when you're sick,
you can be... unbearable.
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00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:08,748
That's why your friends
have been known
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00:04:08,750 --> 00:04:12,485
to work late
or sneak out to the movies
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00:04:12,487 --> 00:04:15,087
or stay at
a neurobiology conference
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three days after it's ended.
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00:04:17,692 --> 00:04:21,360
You stayed in Michigan all week
to avoid being around me?
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00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:23,196
No, no, not just that.
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00:04:23,198 --> 00:04:24,497
I mean...
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00:04:24,499 --> 00:04:27,400
Detroit is beautiful
when it's sleeting.
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00:04:28,236 --> 00:04:30,102
You know, I'm not the only one
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00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:31,637
who's unpleasant
when they're sick.
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00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:34,340
When Penny got food poisoning,
she threw up so loudly
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00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:37,076
I could barely hear
the television.
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00:04:37,946 --> 00:04:39,479
Ooh, I just heard something.
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00:04:39,481 --> 00:04:40,847
Might be hail, might be gunfire.
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00:04:40,849 --> 00:04:43,616
Either way, I'm gonna go
take pictures. Bye.
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00:04:45,787 --> 00:04:47,119
Hey, Stuart.
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00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:49,055
Hey. Where's Sheldon?
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00:04:49,057 --> 00:04:50,156
Still sick?
LEONARD: No, he's fine.
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We just needed
a little break.
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Yeah, I get that.
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00:04:53,761 --> 00:04:55,628
When I brought him his comics
the other day,
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00:04:55,630 --> 00:04:58,731
he said, “Oh, great,
Death is literally at my door.”
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00:05:00,034 --> 00:05:01,868
He was being a jerk
to everyone.
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00:05:01,870 --> 00:05:03,102
Don't take it personally.
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00:05:03,104 --> 00:05:05,204
Oh, I'm on so many
antidepressants,
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00:05:05,206 --> 00:05:07,473
I couldn't if I wanted to.
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00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:11,944
I wish we could do more stuff
without Sheldon.
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00:05:11,946 --> 00:05:14,580
I wish that all the time.
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00:05:14,582 --> 00:05:18,951
Usually before I blow
out birthday candles.
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00:05:18,953 --> 00:05:21,787
You know, Amy took
some time off from him.
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00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:24,223
Really improved
their relationship.
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00:05:24,225 --> 00:05:25,625
Huh. Okay.
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00:05:25,627 --> 00:05:28,160
As long as it doesn't end
with us having coitus with him,
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00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:29,495
I'm in.
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00:05:30,565 --> 00:05:32,765
We should all take
a trip or something.
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00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:34,467
You know, Penny and
I have been talking
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00:05:34,469 --> 00:05:35,801
about taking a
weekend in Vegas.
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00:05:35,803 --> 00:05:37,403
Maybe we should all go.
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00:05:37,405 --> 00:05:39,138
Bernie would love that.
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00:05:39,140 --> 00:05:40,373
Oh! Ooh! Maybe we could get
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00:05:40,375 --> 00:05:42,341
one of those party buses
to take us there.
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00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:43,643
That sounds really fun.
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00:05:43,645 --> 00:05:44,710
Yeah, that sounds fun.
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00:05:44,712 --> 00:05:46,312
A party-bus party don't stop.
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00:05:46,314 --> 00:05:49,215
Ooh! When I say “party,”
you say “bus.”
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00:05:49,217 --> 00:05:51,951
No. No.
(in rhythm): No. No!
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00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:56,055
So, the guys and I
were talking about
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00:05:56,057 --> 00:05:58,291
renting a party bus and
everyone going to Vegas.
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00:05:58,293 --> 00:05:59,825
Oh, that could be fun.
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00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:02,128
But just to be clear,
you mean a party bus
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00:06:02,130 --> 00:06:03,462
with booze and music, right,
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00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:05,898
not, like, juice boxes
and video games?
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00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:07,333
Yes.
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00:06:07,335 --> 00:06:09,835
And Howard's birthday
was a drop-off party.
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00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:12,471
You didn't have to stay.
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00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:13,773
Well, I'm in.
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00:06:13,775 --> 00:06:15,308
When are we going?
This weekend.
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00:06:15,310 --> 00:06:17,343
Oh, where are we going?
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00:06:18,179 --> 00:06:19,745
Well, Vegas, but...
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00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:21,581
Ugh, Atlantic City
without the taffy?
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00:06:21,583 --> 00:06:23,115
No, thank you.
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00:06:24,285 --> 00:06:26,452
That's fine, 'cause actually
you're not invited.
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00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:28,487
Well, now...
well, that's hurtful.
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00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:30,623
Oh, Sheldon, you don't
even like it there.
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00:06:30,625 --> 00:06:32,191
I can consider a place
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00:06:32,193 --> 00:06:33,459
America's urinal cake
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00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:36,195
and still enjoy
the occasional visit.
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00:06:36,197 --> 00:06:37,964
Not this time.
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00:06:37,966 --> 00:06:40,499
Oh, fine. Then I'll just
hang out with Wolowitz.
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He's coming, too.
Well, then Raj and I will...
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Nope.
Very well. Stuart.
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Oh, great. Do that.
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00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:51,344
Ugh. Stuart.
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00:06:52,547 --> 00:06:54,513
Hi, Sheldon. What's new?
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00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:57,049
Our friends are jerks,
and I'm mad at all of them.
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00:06:57,051 --> 00:06:59,919
I said, “What's new?” but sure.
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00:07:00,722 --> 00:07:02,254
Can you believe
they planned a trip
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00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:04,223
to Las Vegas
and didn't invite me?
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00:07:04,225 --> 00:07:05,858
Did you refuse to apologize
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00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:08,260
and act like they were stupid
for being mad?
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00:07:09,297 --> 00:07:11,330
You know, I liked it better
when there was still
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00:07:11,332 --> 00:07:13,599
a little mystery left
in our relationship.
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00:07:14,402 --> 00:07:16,435
Everyone tried
to take care of you,
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00:07:16,437 --> 00:07:18,571
and you were nothing
but mean to them.
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00:07:18,573 --> 00:07:20,406
I can't believe
you're not on my side.
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00:07:20,408 --> 00:07:24,677
I was on your side when someone
stole your car radio.
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00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:29,115
Who else's side
could you have been on?
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00:07:29,117 --> 00:07:31,217
I don't know.
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00:07:31,219 --> 00:07:34,420
A music-loving hobo
with a heart of gold?
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00:07:35,723 --> 00:07:37,556
Sheldon, I understand
that you're upset
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00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:39,225
because you feel left out,
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00:07:39,227 --> 00:07:41,761
but I don't know why
we're even talking about this.
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Just apologize to them.
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Fine, if that's what it takes
to go on their dumb trip.
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00:07:47,101 --> 00:07:50,269
Maybe you could try apologizing
because you actually feel bad.
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00:07:50,271 --> 00:07:51,337
It's called empathy.
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00:07:51,339 --> 00:07:53,773
It's something
you could work on.
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00:07:53,775 --> 00:07:55,508
I have empathy.
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00:07:55,510 --> 00:07:57,009
Watch.
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00:07:57,011 --> 00:08:00,212
Leonard made me soup,
and I was mean to him.
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00:08:03,484 --> 00:08:05,017
Great.
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00:08:05,019 --> 00:08:08,954
Now try it as if this isn't
your first day as a person.
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00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:11,023
Fine.
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00:08:11,025 --> 00:08:14,627
Leonard made me soup,
and I was mean to him.
195
00:08:14,629 --> 00:08:16,796
Hey, I felt a little something.
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00:08:16,798 --> 00:08:18,164
Let me try again.
197
00:08:18,166 --> 00:08:22,702
Leonard made me soup,
and I was mean to him.
198
00:08:22,704 --> 00:08:24,970
I was mean to him.
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00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:27,373
He must have felt terrible.
200
00:08:27,375 --> 00:08:30,376
Oh, now I feel terrible.
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00:08:30,378 --> 00:08:32,778
Neat!
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00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:35,281
Glad I could help.
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00:08:35,283 --> 00:08:37,349
Now let me see you
feel bad for lying
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00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:39,952
and staying in Detroit
longer than you needed to.
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00:08:39,954 --> 00:08:43,489
(flatly):
I feel so, so bad.
206
00:08:43,491 --> 00:08:46,459
Hey, we're both great at this.
207
00:08:50,198 --> 00:08:53,165
Leonard, get ready
for an apology.
208
00:08:53,167 --> 00:08:56,302
And with the added twist
of an M. Night Shyamalan movie,
209
00:08:56,304 --> 00:08:58,304
I'm going to mean it.
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00:08:58,306 --> 00:08:59,972
Ah, so like every other
211
00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:01,540
M. Night Shyamalan movie
I've seen,
212
00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:04,243
you spoil it in advance.
213
00:09:04,245 --> 00:09:05,811
Hey, if you didn't know
Bruce Willis
214
00:09:05,813 --> 00:09:08,681
was dead the whole time,
that's not on me.
215
00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:12,284
Okay.
216
00:09:12,286 --> 00:09:13,753
Here it comes.
217
00:09:13,755 --> 00:09:15,087
You tried to take care of me
218
00:09:15,089 --> 00:09:17,356
when I was sick,
and I was mean to you.
219
00:09:17,358 --> 00:09:19,458
There's no excuse for that.
220
00:09:19,460 --> 00:09:21,660
And I'm truly sorry.
221
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:23,662
Thank you.
222
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:24,997
I appreciate that.
223
00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:27,066
I want you to know
that that is sincere.
224
00:09:27,068 --> 00:09:28,334
I-I do feel bad.
225
00:09:28,336 --> 00:09:30,536
I'm not just saying it
to be included on your trip.
226
00:09:30,538 --> 00:09:32,738
Appreciate that, too.
227
00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:34,140
Terrific.
228
00:09:34,142 --> 00:09:36,142
Now all that's left
is for you to invite me to come.
229
00:09:36,144 --> 00:09:37,409
Me to ask, “Are you sure?”
230
00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:38,577
You to say, “Absolutely.”
231
00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:39,678
And then me
to bring it home with,
232
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:42,414
“How could I say no
to that face?”
233
00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:45,050
You're still not coming.
234
00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:47,419
What? But I apologized
and I meant it.
235
00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:49,188
I know that we don't play
this game very often,
236
00:09:49,190 --> 00:09:51,257
but you're doing it wrong.
237
00:09:51,259 --> 00:09:54,026
Sheldon, I accept
your apology, but you upset
238
00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:55,327
a lot of people
while you were sick.
239
00:09:55,329 --> 00:09:57,463
I'm not in a position
to just say you can come.
240
00:09:57,465 --> 00:09:59,665
Well, all right.
241
00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:02,868
What if I apologize
to all of them?
242
00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:04,804
Fine, if you
apologize to everyone,
243
00:10:04,806 --> 00:10:07,006
they all say it's okay,
then yes, you can come.
244
00:10:07,008 --> 00:10:08,474
Challenge accepted!
245
00:10:08,476 --> 00:10:11,610
Sounds like it's time for
the Sheldon Cooper Apology Tour.
246
00:10:13,915 --> 00:10:15,214
Well, I hope
it's as much fun
247
00:10:15,216 --> 00:10:18,784
as the Sheldon Cooper
Spell-Checks Local Menus Tour.
248
00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:20,452
(laughing):
My goodness!
249
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:23,722
Do you remember
“comes with apsparagus”?
250
00:10:32,944 --> 00:10:34,844
Howard and Bernadette,
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00:10:34,846 --> 00:10:36,846
you tried to comfort me
when I was ill,
252
00:10:36,848 --> 00:10:39,115
and I treated you terribly.
253
00:10:39,117 --> 00:10:40,717
I'm sorry.
254
00:10:40,719 --> 00:10:42,452
Wow.
(chuckles)
255
00:10:42,454 --> 00:10:43,686
I'm impressed.
256
00:10:43,688 --> 00:10:44,721
No, no, no, wait.
257
00:10:44,723 --> 00:10:45,789
I'm not done.
258
00:10:45,791 --> 00:10:47,924
Allow me to underscore
my sentiment
259
00:10:47,926 --> 00:10:49,692
with a haunting rendition
260
00:10:49,694 --> 00:10:51,528
of Brenda Lee's “I'm Sorry”
261
00:10:51,530 --> 00:10:53,696
played on the pan flute.
262
00:10:55,100 --> 00:10:57,667
Apology accepted!
Forgiven, forgiven!
263
00:10:57,669 --> 00:11:01,070
All right, that's eight hours
of practice down the drain.
264
00:11:03,208 --> 00:11:05,708
And to memorialize
this occasion,
265
00:11:05,710 --> 00:11:08,611
here are your
commemorative T-shirts.
266
00:11:13,518 --> 00:11:16,719
“Sheldon Cooper
apologized to me”"
267
00:11:16,721 --> 00:11:19,789
“And he made it
all better.”
268
00:11:21,126 --> 00:11:22,792
(camera clicks)
269
00:11:24,930 --> 00:11:26,930
All you did was offer
270
00:11:26,932 --> 00:11:29,065
maternal care and affection,
271
00:11:29,067 --> 00:11:30,967
and all you received in return
272
00:11:30,969 --> 00:11:34,304
was rude and insensitive
behavior.
273
00:11:34,306 --> 00:11:36,406
Can this wait?
274
00:11:36,408 --> 00:11:37,874
I'm afraid it can't.
275
00:11:37,876 --> 00:11:39,042
The trip is tomorrow.
276
00:11:39,044 --> 00:11:40,844
And I have
more apologies to make.
277
00:11:40,846 --> 00:11:43,146
Okay, fine, I accept
your apology, now get out!
278
00:11:43,148 --> 00:11:45,081
Wonderful. would you mind
holding up this shirt
279
00:11:45,083 --> 00:11:47,317
while I take a quick...?
Leonard!
280
00:11:50,188 --> 00:11:53,623
You brought me my comic books
when I wasn't feeling well.
281
00:11:53,625 --> 00:11:55,625
That-that was
thoughtful.
282
00:11:55,627 --> 00:11:56,793
And I was insensitive.
283
00:11:56,795 --> 00:11:58,228
I'm sorry.
284
00:11:58,230 --> 00:11:59,829
Thank you, Sheldon.
285
00:11:59,831 --> 00:12:01,598
I appreciate that.
286
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:04,133
And I want you to know
that I mean it, you know?
287
00:12:04,135 --> 00:12:08,204
This isn't me just wanting to
go on the trip to Las Vegas.
288
00:12:11,042 --> 00:12:14,177
What trip to Las Vegas?
289
00:12:14,179 --> 00:12:16,145
The one everyone's taking
290
00:12:16,147 --> 00:12:18,648
this weekend on the party bus.
291
00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:21,084
Of course, I wasn't invited.
292
00:12:21,086 --> 00:12:24,988
That would be my understanding.
293
00:12:26,057 --> 00:12:27,924
On a less painful subject,
294
00:12:27,926 --> 00:12:29,959
what size T-shirt do you take?
295
00:12:33,098 --> 00:12:35,932
Raj, you were being
a good friend,
296
00:12:35,934 --> 00:12:39,602
and my illness was no
excuse for my behavior.
297
00:12:39,604 --> 00:12:42,739
I hope that you can
accept my apology.
298
00:12:42,741 --> 00:12:44,607
Of course I do.
299
00:12:44,609 --> 00:12:47,610
And, Emily, I'm sorry
for saying dermatologists
300
00:12:47,612 --> 00:12:49,546
aren't real doctors.
301
00:12:49,548 --> 00:12:52,916
And I'm sure you're
tired of hearing that.
302
00:12:55,053 --> 00:12:58,021
Do you honestly think
I hear that a lot?
303
00:12:58,023 --> 00:13:00,456
Well, I would imagine
when your job is popping zits
304
00:13:00,458 --> 00:13:02,792
and squirting Botox
into old lady faces...
305
00:13:02,794 --> 00:13:04,093
Okay!
306
00:13:04,095 --> 00:13:06,796
Okay, the point is
307
00:13:06,798 --> 00:13:09,032
that we accept
your apology.
308
00:13:09,034 --> 00:13:10,199
Uh, maybe you do.
309
00:13:10,201 --> 00:13:12,001
He just insulted me again.
310
00:13:12,003 --> 00:13:13,670
Yeah, but he
doesn't mean it.
311
00:13:13,672 --> 00:13:15,338
Why are you defending him?
312
00:13:15,340 --> 00:13:16,573
(stammers) I believe
I can answer that.
313
00:13:16,575 --> 00:13:17,740
Uh, like me,
314
00:13:17,742 --> 00:13:19,742
Raj is demonstrating empathy.
315
00:13:19,744 --> 00:13:22,011
Now, why don't you
accept my apology,
316
00:13:22,013 --> 00:13:24,781
receive your free T-shirt, uh--
317
00:13:24,783 --> 00:13:26,783
I hope extra small is okay.
318
00:13:26,785 --> 00:13:29,719
For some reason
Wolowitz took a medium.
319
00:13:30,789 --> 00:13:33,389
Well, I don't
accept your apology.
320
00:13:33,391 --> 00:13:34,657
What are you doing?
321
00:13:34,659 --> 00:13:36,626
It's called standing
up for myself.
322
00:13:36,628 --> 00:13:37,760
You should try it some time.
323
00:13:37,762 --> 00:13:40,463
Fine, how about this?
324
00:13:40,465 --> 00:13:42,699
You're making me
uncomfortable by prolonging
325
00:13:42,701 --> 00:13:44,901
this ridiculous fight,
and I wish you'd stop.
326
00:13:44,903 --> 00:13:46,536
Oh, you want me to stop?
327
00:13:46,538 --> 00:13:47,570
No problem.
328
00:13:47,572 --> 00:13:49,038
No, come on,
please don't leave!
329
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:50,306
(Sheldon stammers)
330
00:13:50,308 --> 00:13:51,941
Point of clarification--
are you still going on the trip?
331
00:13:51,943 --> 00:13:53,109
Because if not...
332
00:13:53,111 --> 00:13:55,078
Don't worry, you're good.
333
00:13:57,515 --> 00:14:00,416
I caused that fight,
I feel terrible.
334
00:14:00,418 --> 00:14:03,486
(stammers)
Wait, I can do that better...
335
00:14:04,456 --> 00:14:06,756
I caused that fight.
336
00:14:06,758 --> 00:14:08,124
I feel terrible.
337
00:14:08,126 --> 00:14:11,561
Yeah, wow, I don't know
which one I like more.
338
00:14:12,664 --> 00:14:14,897
So, was the fight
really bad?
339
00:14:14,899 --> 00:14:16,132
(stammers)
No.
340
00:14:16,134 --> 00:14:17,834
As a fight, it was excellent.
341
00:14:17,836 --> 00:14:21,037
She used harsh language
and slammed the door.
342
00:14:21,039 --> 00:14:22,772
Although as I say this,
343
00:14:22,774 --> 00:14:25,108
that might not have been
what you were asking.
344
00:14:25,110 --> 00:14:27,844
You think they'll
still go on the trip?
345
00:14:27,846 --> 00:14:29,946
All I know is after the fight
I went to Emily's to smooth...
346
00:14:29,948 --> 00:14:32,915
They're not going on the trip.
No.
347
00:14:34,252 --> 00:14:36,452
What is wrong with you?
348
00:14:36,454 --> 00:14:39,756
Look at him, caring about
what's wrong with me.
349
00:14:39,758 --> 00:14:42,425
That is some top-shelf empathy.
350
00:14:44,262 --> 00:14:46,763
Hey, well,
we should start a club.
351
00:14:46,765 --> 00:14:49,432
You went to Emily's
to apologize.
352
00:14:49,434 --> 00:14:51,968
And when you left,
she was crying.
353
00:14:51,970 --> 00:14:53,336
That is true.
354
00:14:53,338 --> 00:14:56,072
Well, I suppose
I should apologize again.
355
00:14:56,074 --> 00:14:58,775
(all saying no)
356
00:14:58,777 --> 00:14:59,909
Is she okay?
357
00:14:59,911 --> 00:15:01,878
Yeah, I calmed her down.
358
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:04,213
But she's not going
to Vegas if he's going.
359
00:15:04,215 --> 00:15:06,149
Wait, that's an option?
360
00:15:06,151 --> 00:15:09,419
I didn't know that
was an option.
361
00:15:09,421 --> 00:15:10,753
Well, that is fine,
because I've decided
362
00:15:10,755 --> 00:15:12,188
that I won't be joining you.
363
00:15:12,190 --> 00:15:14,424
I've realized that
the most genuine way
364
00:15:14,426 --> 00:15:16,693
to demonstrate the remorse
I feel is to let you
365
00:15:16,695 --> 00:15:18,961
have this weekend
to yourselves.
366
00:15:19,764 --> 00:15:22,632
That's very mature of you.
367
00:15:22,634 --> 00:15:24,567
Well, I've been on a little
trip myself recently.
368
00:15:24,569 --> 00:15:28,237
Not to Sin City
but to Sincere City.
369
00:15:30,308 --> 00:15:31,974
Where instead of genital warts,
the only growth
370
00:15:31,976 --> 00:15:35,011
you'll come back with
is personal growth.
371
00:15:36,081 --> 00:15:38,848
And there's your next T-shirt.
372
00:15:41,786 --> 00:15:44,587
Ooh, check out
the stripper pole.
373
00:15:44,589 --> 00:15:45,988
You know what that means.
374
00:15:45,990 --> 00:15:48,958
That Raj'll be on it before
we make it to the freeway?
375
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,593
You know it!
376
00:15:50,595 --> 00:15:52,662
(whooping)
377
00:15:54,199 --> 00:15:55,565
This is so cool.
378
00:15:55,567 --> 00:15:56,966
Let's have champagne!
379
00:15:56,968 --> 00:15:58,701
Mm-hmm.
380
00:15:58,703 --> 00:16:01,370
Well, I would like
to propose a toast
381
00:16:01,372 --> 00:16:02,872
to a well-deserved weekend of...
382
00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:04,674
Aha!
(all scream)
383
00:16:06,878 --> 00:16:09,312
What are you doing?!
384
00:16:09,314 --> 00:16:11,948
My plan was to jump out
at the state line,
385
00:16:11,950 --> 00:16:15,485
but one of my nose plugs
fell into the toilet.
386
00:16:15,487 --> 00:16:19,088
You couldn't give us
just one weekend?
387
00:16:19,090 --> 00:16:21,624
I told him
this was a bad idea.
388
00:16:24,763 --> 00:16:26,395
What do we do--
kick them off?
389
00:16:26,397 --> 00:16:27,964
If we drop them off
at a fire station,
390
00:16:27,966 --> 00:16:30,900
they have to take them;
no questions asked.
391
00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:34,971
Before you do, please
give me one more chance
392
00:16:34,973 --> 00:16:36,973
to apologize to Emily.
393
00:16:36,975 --> 00:16:38,708
Oh, God.
394
00:16:38,710 --> 00:16:41,844
Emily, as I'm
sure you know,
395
00:16:41,846 --> 00:16:44,747
I'm considered
an odd fellow.
396
00:16:46,818 --> 00:16:48,618
But what you don't know
is that, while I often
397
00:16:48,620 --> 00:16:52,188
say the wrong thing,
in my heart I mean well.
398
00:16:52,190 --> 00:16:54,090
I think that you are
399
00:16:54,092 --> 00:16:57,093
a smart and wonderful
woman, you know?
400
00:16:57,095 --> 00:17:00,730
And we all think that you can
do better than Koothrappali.
401
00:17:01,766 --> 00:17:03,399
You know, Sheldon...
402
00:17:03,401 --> 00:17:06,202
Shh, let him finish.
403
00:17:06,204 --> 00:17:08,171
So, for all the times
I've offended you
404
00:17:08,173 --> 00:17:10,740
and all the times that
I'll offend you in the future,
405
00:17:10,742 --> 00:17:13,643
I'm sorry.
406
00:17:15,180 --> 00:17:16,479
Thank you.
407
00:17:16,481 --> 00:17:17,914
Good.
408
00:17:17,916 --> 00:17:20,016
Then I'll be leaving now.
409
00:17:20,018 --> 00:17:22,318
Oh, it's okay, Sheldon.
410
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,487
Come with us.
411
00:17:24,489 --> 00:17:26,789
Oh, that's very kind of you.
412
00:17:26,791 --> 00:17:29,325
But I'm sure you'll all have
a better time without me.
413
00:17:29,327 --> 00:17:30,827
Let's go, Stuart.
414
00:17:30,829 --> 00:17:32,328
But I want to stay.
415
00:17:32,330 --> 00:17:33,663
Stuart, now!
416
00:17:41,005 --> 00:17:42,471
You know,
I know he's a jerk,
417
00:17:42,473 --> 00:17:44,173
but I actually
feel bad for him.
418
00:17:44,175 --> 00:17:48,110
And now you see
the problem.
419
00:17:50,281 --> 00:17:53,683
Come on, you pain in the ass!
420
00:17:53,685 --> 00:17:55,051
That's me!
421
00:17:55,053 --> 00:17:56,519
Bye, Stuart.
422
00:17:56,521 --> 00:17:58,621
Wait!
423
00:17:58,623 --> 00:18:02,058
I'm a pain in the ass, too!
424
00:18:10,426 --> 00:18:12,627
Are you relieved
that you and Raj
425
00:18:12,629 --> 00:18:14,629
were able
to patch things up?
426
00:18:14,631 --> 00:18:16,163
At the moment?
427
00:18:16,165 --> 00:18:18,165
No, not really.
428
00:18:18,167 --> 00:18:19,600
♪ Burn, baby, burn... ♪
429
00:18:19,602 --> 00:18:21,369
Shake it, baby!
430
00:18:21,371 --> 00:18:24,171
(whoops)
Work that thing!
431
00:18:30,266 --> 00:18:36,766
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man