1 00:00:01,159 --> 00:00:02,910 Previously on The Big Bang Theory: 2 00:00:03,029 --> 00:00:04,978 This is just a minor setback. 3 00:00:05,029 --> 00:00:06,145 No, it's not, okay? 4 00:00:06,147 --> 00:00:07,713 I've been out here for, like, ten years. 5 00:00:07,715 --> 00:00:09,282 I have nothing to show for it. 6 00:00:09,284 --> 00:00:11,200 Well, you have me. 7 00:00:12,035 --> 00:00:14,403 I do have you. 8 00:00:19,526 --> 00:00:22,111 Leonard Hofstadter, 9 00:00:22,113 --> 00:00:24,714 will you marry me? 10 00:00:29,002 --> 00:00:32,388 Did you seriously just say, "Um..."? 11 00:00:33,674 --> 00:00:35,341 It's an outrage. I know. 12 00:00:35,343 --> 00:00:37,894 The university-- they think they can do whatever they want. 13 00:00:37,896 --> 00:00:40,146 We just have to sit there and take it. 14 00:00:40,148 --> 00:00:41,848 You need to let it go, Sheldon. 15 00:00:41,850 --> 00:00:44,600 You work tirelessly for someone, and this is what you get. 16 00:00:44,602 --> 00:00:45,852 Oh, my God! 17 00:00:45,854 --> 00:00:48,354 They're just making you use your vacation days! 18 00:00:48,356 --> 00:00:50,356 But I don't want a vacation. 19 00:00:50,358 --> 00:00:53,092 Okay, listen, I don't mean to diminish 20 00:00:53,094 --> 00:00:54,827 what you're going through, 21 00:00:54,829 --> 00:00:56,529 but I'm a little distracted right now. 22 00:00:56,531 --> 00:00:58,314 Oh, this again? So, 23 00:00:58,316 --> 00:00:59,832 Penny proposed, you didn't say yes, 24 00:00:59,834 --> 00:01:02,451 and now you think you may have lost her love forever. 25 00:01:02,453 --> 00:01:04,486 How does this compare to me being forced 26 00:01:04,488 --> 00:01:06,539 to relax for a few days? 27 00:01:08,458 --> 00:01:10,676 It doesn't! Thank you! 28 00:01:12,763 --> 00:01:14,347 I'm gonna go talk to Penny. 29 00:01:14,349 --> 00:01:17,216 I'm going to go inside, put on my coziest pajamas, 30 00:01:17,218 --> 00:01:18,751 curl up with a good book 31 00:01:18,753 --> 00:01:21,804 and wait for this nightmare to be over. 32 00:01:25,309 --> 00:01:28,110 Penny. 33 00:01:32,032 --> 00:01:34,233 Sorry. 34 00:01:35,118 --> 00:01:37,511 Hi. Hey. 35 00:01:37,512 --> 00:01:39,562 Look, I'm sorry I didn't text you back. 36 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:40,489 I just needed some time to think. 37 00:01:40,491 --> 00:01:42,542 Okay. Here. Come in. 38 00:01:42,544 --> 00:01:44,410 Look, if you want to break up, just say it. 39 00:01:44,412 --> 00:01:46,212 Leonard... No, no, no, no. I take it back. 40 00:01:46,214 --> 00:01:48,581 Don't say it. Just-just hate me, but stay with me. 41 00:01:48,583 --> 00:01:50,132 It worked for my parents. 42 00:01:51,802 --> 00:01:54,787 Listen, I don't want to break up with you. 43 00:01:54,789 --> 00:01:56,839 Oh. O-Okay. 44 00:01:56,841 --> 00:01:58,341 Good, good. 45 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:01,594 So, it's cool if I cry a little? 46 00:02:02,479 --> 00:02:04,480 Yeah, I probably wouldn't. 47 00:02:04,482 --> 00:02:07,033 Yeah. 48 00:02:08,136 --> 00:02:10,269 Look, you did the right thing last night. 49 00:02:10,271 --> 00:02:11,671 I was a mess. 50 00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:14,423 I was just frustrated because my career is going nowhere. 51 00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:16,558 Look, I get it, and I want you to know 52 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,694 that I support whatever you want to do. 53 00:02:18,696 --> 00:02:19,996 Great, because I've been thinking, 54 00:02:19,998 --> 00:02:21,948 if I really want this acting thing to work, 55 00:02:21,950 --> 00:02:23,849 I need to focus all my energy on it. 56 00:02:23,851 --> 00:02:25,151 And to do that, 57 00:02:25,153 --> 00:02:26,619 I should quit waitressing 58 00:02:26,621 --> 00:02:28,237 at The Cheesecake Factory. 59 00:02:28,239 --> 00:02:29,956 Wow! 60 00:02:29,958 --> 00:02:31,624 That-That's a big step. 61 00:02:31,626 --> 00:02:33,326 I know. So, you know, 62 00:02:33,328 --> 00:02:34,510 before making any rash... 63 00:02:34,512 --> 00:02:36,696 I already quit. And I support you! 64 00:02:38,298 --> 00:02:41,934 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 65 00:02:41,936 --> 00:02:45,271 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 66 00:02:45,273 --> 00:02:46,856 ♪ The Earth began to cool 67 00:02:46,858 --> 00:02:49,442 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 68 00:02:49,444 --> 00:02:52,078 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 69 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:54,747 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 70 00:02:54,749 --> 00:02:56,598 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 71 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,651 ♪ Bang! ♪ 72 00:02:58,658 --> 00:03:02,658 ♪ The Big Bang Theory 7x13 ♪ The Occupation Recalibration Original Air Date on January 9, 2014 73 00:03:02,659 --> 00:03:07,659 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 74 00:03:07,785 --> 00:03:09,953 Come on, take me to work with you. 75 00:03:09,955 --> 00:03:11,688 No. You're on vacation. 76 00:03:11,690 --> 00:03:14,224 Please. What if there's a big breakthrough in science today 77 00:03:14,226 --> 00:03:15,926 and I'm not there to see it? 78 00:03:15,928 --> 00:03:17,461 Do you really think there's gonna be a breakthrough 79 00:03:17,463 --> 00:03:18,662 without you there to do it? 80 00:03:18,664 --> 00:03:20,814 No. I was just tricking you. 81 00:03:20,816 --> 00:03:23,683 Bye. 82 00:03:24,519 --> 00:03:26,436 Leonard, wait! 83 00:03:26,438 --> 00:03:28,087 Take me with you. 84 00:03:28,089 --> 00:03:29,723 No! 85 00:03:29,725 --> 00:03:31,090 Please. No! 86 00:03:31,092 --> 00:03:32,425 Too bad. I'm coming with you. 87 00:03:32,427 --> 00:03:33,944 Oh, Sheldon, stay! But... 88 00:03:33,946 --> 00:03:36,113 I said stay! 89 00:03:41,953 --> 00:03:43,954 I'm going to work. 90 00:03:43,956 --> 00:03:46,156 Do not follow me. 91 00:04:04,826 --> 00:04:06,676 Hey, Stuart. 92 00:04:07,695 --> 00:04:10,313 Hey. Sorry. Did I startle you? 93 00:04:10,315 --> 00:04:13,850 Yes, but at this point, pretty much any customer does. 94 00:04:13,852 --> 00:04:15,552 What can I do for you? 95 00:04:15,554 --> 00:04:17,303 Well, I need a little help. 96 00:04:17,305 --> 00:04:18,805 I accidentally destroyed one of Howard's 97 00:04:18,807 --> 00:04:19,990 comic books this morning, 98 00:04:19,992 --> 00:04:21,474 and was hoping I could replace it. 99 00:04:21,476 --> 00:04:22,893 Wow. What happened? 100 00:04:22,895 --> 00:04:26,446 Batman got his ass kicked by my curling iron. 101 00:04:26,448 --> 00:04:30,016 Well, don't let The Riddler know that. 102 00:04:30,685 --> 00:04:33,854 It's a comic book joke. 103 00:04:34,522 --> 00:04:36,756 Or maybe it's not. 104 00:04:37,909 --> 00:04:39,009 Do you have this one? 105 00:04:39,011 --> 00:04:40,794 Uh, well, it's-it's pretty rare. 106 00:04:40,796 --> 00:04:43,046 Can you give me a few days to track it down? 107 00:04:43,048 --> 00:04:44,965 Ooh, I was kind of hoping to get it 108 00:04:44,967 --> 00:04:47,267 before Howie comes home from work. Oh. What's the hurry? 109 00:04:47,269 --> 00:04:48,552 Well, he's always saying 110 00:04:48,554 --> 00:04:50,437 I should be more careful with my curling iron, 111 00:04:50,439 --> 00:04:51,888 and it seems like a dangerous precedent 112 00:04:51,890 --> 00:04:54,057 to let him think he can be right. 113 00:04:54,059 --> 00:04:56,393 Well, I'll do what I can, 114 00:04:56,395 --> 00:04:58,545 but I can't make any promises. 115 00:04:58,547 --> 00:05:02,399 You know, I do work at a pharmaceutical company. 116 00:05:02,401 --> 00:05:04,618 If you can make this happen today, 117 00:05:04,620 --> 00:05:07,871 I can hook you up with anxiety medication, antidepressants. 118 00:05:07,873 --> 00:05:09,706 Really? 119 00:05:11,325 --> 00:05:13,710 Do you have any of these? 120 00:05:17,965 --> 00:05:20,533 Hello, Mr. Rat Brain. 121 00:05:21,552 --> 00:05:24,004 Not so bitey without the rest of the rat 122 00:05:24,006 --> 00:05:25,672 to back us up now, are we? 123 00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:28,207 Anybody home? 124 00:05:28,209 --> 00:05:29,226 Hey, what brings you guys here? 125 00:05:29,228 --> 00:05:30,327 Well, we were just on our way 126 00:05:30,329 --> 00:05:31,344 to lunch and wanted to see 127 00:05:31,346 --> 00:05:32,429 if you'd like to join. 128 00:05:32,431 --> 00:05:33,563 Why? 129 00:05:33,565 --> 00:05:34,881 Because Sheldon's not here this week, 130 00:05:34,883 --> 00:05:36,516 and you don't think I have any other options? 131 00:05:36,518 --> 00:05:38,685 I'm just kidding. I'll get my purse. 132 00:05:38,687 --> 00:05:41,238 Hi, Amy. I... Oh. 133 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:43,256 I'm soy. I didn't know you had any company. 134 00:05:43,258 --> 00:05:44,357 That's okay. 135 00:05:44,359 --> 00:05:45,725 Uh, Bert, this is Howard and Rajesh. 136 00:05:45,727 --> 00:05:46,977 Guys, this is Bert. 137 00:05:46,979 --> 00:05:48,161 Hey. Good to see you. Hey. 138 00:05:48,163 --> 00:05:49,663 Anyway, I wanted to show you 139 00:05:49,665 --> 00:05:52,082 this tourmalinated quartz that we got in the lab. 140 00:05:52,084 --> 00:05:53,867 This is so pretty. 141 00:05:53,869 --> 00:05:55,752 Bert works for the geology department. 142 00:05:55,754 --> 00:05:57,837 Yeah. You know what, uh, geologists 143 00:05:57,839 --> 00:05:59,589 and Bon Jovi have in common? 144 00:05:59,591 --> 00:06:01,908 You're both into rock? 145 00:06:03,711 --> 00:06:06,112 Yeah. 146 00:06:07,598 --> 00:06:09,933 Well, see ya. 147 00:06:09,935 --> 00:06:11,101 Oh, you forgot your quartz. 148 00:06:11,103 --> 00:06:12,802 Oh, it's okay. 149 00:06:12,804 --> 00:06:14,638 I want you to have it. 150 00:06:15,606 --> 00:06:17,007 Bye. 151 00:06:17,009 --> 00:06:18,391 He's nice. 152 00:06:18,393 --> 00:06:21,845 Yeah, he's nice because he likes you. 153 00:06:21,847 --> 00:06:24,397 What?! No, he doesn't. 154 00:06:24,399 --> 00:06:26,116 He brought you a pretty rock. 155 00:06:26,118 --> 00:06:27,817 So? He does that every day... 156 00:06:27,819 --> 00:06:29,486 Oh. 157 00:06:29,488 --> 00:06:31,821 You know, if you'd rather skip lunch 158 00:06:31,823 --> 00:06:34,524 and hang out with your boyfriend Bert, it's totally okay. 159 00:06:34,526 --> 00:06:36,159 He's not my boyfriend. 160 00:06:36,161 --> 00:06:38,244 Are you sure? He's tall, pale and awkward. 161 00:06:38,246 --> 00:06:40,330 That sounds like your type. 162 00:06:40,332 --> 00:06:43,733 Should someone as lonely as you really be making fun of me? 163 00:06:43,735 --> 00:06:45,552 Yeah, grow up, Howard. God. 164 00:06:47,171 --> 00:06:49,956 What do I do? I don't want to hurt his feelings. 165 00:06:49,958 --> 00:06:52,392 Maybe the problem is he thinks you're available. 166 00:06:52,394 --> 00:06:54,094 Does he know you're dating Sheldon? 167 00:06:54,096 --> 00:06:56,429 I guess it hasn't come up. 168 00:06:56,431 --> 00:06:58,481 There you go. 169 00:06:58,483 --> 00:07:01,151 And does Sheldon know you're dating Sheldon? 170 00:07:03,020 --> 00:07:06,039 I'm sorry. Who are you dating? 171 00:07:06,041 --> 00:07:08,241 Yeah, knock it off, Howard! 172 00:07:17,669 --> 00:07:19,369 Oh. Hey, Sheldon. 173 00:07:19,371 --> 00:07:21,037 Hello. 174 00:07:26,594 --> 00:07:28,628 You okay? 175 00:07:28,630 --> 00:07:30,714 I'm on vacation. 176 00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:32,966 What do you think? 177 00:07:32,968 --> 00:07:35,501 Why are you sitting in the stairwell? 178 00:07:36,503 --> 00:07:38,671 Leonard told me to stay. 179 00:07:39,757 --> 00:07:43,176 Oh. Well, good boy. 180 00:07:43,178 --> 00:07:45,344 Where are you going? 181 00:07:45,346 --> 00:07:46,696 Oh, I have a ton of errands to run. 182 00:07:46,698 --> 00:07:48,014 I need to make copies of my headshot, 183 00:07:48,016 --> 00:07:49,149 send them off to agents 184 00:07:49,151 --> 00:07:50,734 and sign up for a new acting class and... 185 00:07:50,736 --> 00:07:52,535 Well, have fun. 186 00:07:52,537 --> 00:07:54,521 Okay. 187 00:07:59,076 --> 00:08:01,111 You want to come with me? 188 00:08:01,113 --> 00:08:03,529 Really? 189 00:08:03,531 --> 00:08:06,249 Come on, boy. Come on. Let's go. Let's go. 190 00:08:06,251 --> 00:08:09,302 Get in the car. Come on. 191 00:08:10,504 --> 00:08:13,089 All right, thanks a lot. 192 00:08:13,091 --> 00:08:14,841 They have one at Capital Comics. 193 00:08:14,843 --> 00:08:16,793 Oh, that's great. No, it's not. 194 00:08:16,795 --> 00:08:18,377 I hate that place. 195 00:08:18,379 --> 00:08:20,430 Guy who owns it is a jerk. 196 00:08:20,432 --> 00:08:22,749 He's always making me feel bad about myself. 197 00:08:22,751 --> 00:08:25,151 Oh, that's terrible. 198 00:08:25,153 --> 00:08:27,053 What's the address? 199 00:08:27,055 --> 00:08:29,055 You know, why don't I just take you there? 200 00:08:29,057 --> 00:08:31,558 That way, I can make sure he doesn't rip you off. 201 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,243 Oh, thanks, but I don't want you to close up. 202 00:08:33,245 --> 00:08:34,577 I mean, won't you lose business? 203 00:08:37,431 --> 00:08:39,749 Sorry. That was mean. 204 00:08:43,704 --> 00:08:45,772 Penny really quit The Cheesecake Factory? 205 00:08:45,797 --> 00:08:46,257 Yeah. 206 00:08:46,258 --> 00:08:48,574 So, what is she doing today? I don't know. 207 00:08:48,576 --> 00:08:50,043 She already thinks I don't support this, 208 00:08:50,045 --> 00:08:52,679 so if I call, it might look like I'm checking up on her. 209 00:08:52,681 --> 00:08:53,830 Well, do you support this? 210 00:08:53,832 --> 00:08:55,298 Of course I do. 211 00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:56,549 She's a great actress. 212 00:08:56,551 --> 00:08:58,251 I'm proud she's taking this risk. 213 00:08:58,253 --> 00:08:59,769 That's nice. 214 00:08:59,771 --> 00:09:01,938 You bought that? Great! 215 00:09:04,575 --> 00:09:07,894 I got to call her before I forget how I said it. 216 00:09:07,896 --> 00:09:09,846 Hey. 217 00:09:09,848 --> 00:09:10,864 Hi. What's up? 218 00:09:10,866 --> 00:09:11,848 Oh, how's it going? 219 00:09:11,850 --> 00:09:13,233 You taking Hollywood by storm? 220 00:09:13,235 --> 00:09:15,101 Actually, I'm at The Cheesecake Factory. 221 00:09:15,103 --> 00:09:17,287 You got your job back. That is great news. 222 00:09:17,289 --> 00:09:19,072 I didn't want to say anything, 223 00:09:19,074 --> 00:09:20,573 but you are making the right choice. 224 00:09:20,575 --> 00:09:21,624 To plunge yourself into debt 225 00:09:21,626 --> 00:09:22,942 right now would be literally insane. 226 00:09:22,944 --> 00:09:24,127 Yeah. 227 00:09:24,129 --> 00:09:26,830 I'm just returning my uniform. 228 00:09:29,150 --> 00:09:31,668 And I support you. 229 00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:42,963 Before we begin your guided meditation, 230 00:09:42,965 --> 00:09:44,331 close your eyes 231 00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:47,134 and picture yourself in a peaceful environment. 232 00:09:47,136 --> 00:09:49,403 Okay. 233 00:09:50,772 --> 00:09:54,608 I'm inside the CERN super collider. 234 00:09:55,410 --> 00:09:57,544 Now, take a deep, relaxing breath 235 00:09:57,546 --> 00:09:59,113 in through your nose. 236 00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:03,133 And let it out. 237 00:10:03,135 --> 00:10:05,436 Wow. Didn't see that coming. 238 00:10:06,804 --> 00:10:08,272 In. 239 00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:11,641 Let me guess. 240 00:10:11,643 --> 00:10:13,360 And out. 241 00:10:14,613 --> 00:10:17,331 What was I gonna do? Two "ins" in a row? 242 00:10:21,469 --> 00:10:23,303 Where's my lemonade? 243 00:10:23,305 --> 00:10:24,872 I didn't get it. 244 00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:27,875 A fitting swan song to your career as a waitress 245 00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:30,794 to forget my order one last time. 246 00:10:36,001 --> 00:10:39,353 Do you think quitting my job was a mistake? 247 00:10:39,355 --> 00:10:42,473 Do you see me drinking lemonade? 248 00:10:43,341 --> 00:10:45,726 No. I'm serious. 249 00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:47,311 Why do you ask? 250 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,513 Because Leonard just pissed me off. 251 00:10:49,515 --> 00:10:51,681 Am I being an idiot or not? 252 00:10:51,683 --> 00:10:54,151 No, I don't think you are. 253 00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:55,519 Really? 254 00:10:55,521 --> 00:10:58,455 The best way to achieve a goal is to devote 100% 255 00:10:58,457 --> 00:11:00,457 of your time and energy to it. 256 00:11:00,459 --> 00:11:02,793 When I decided I was going to be a physicist, 257 00:11:02,795 --> 00:11:04,194 I didn't take some other job 258 00:11:04,196 --> 00:11:06,330 in case it didn't work out. 259 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:08,532 Which wasn't easy because there was a lot of pressure 260 00:11:08,534 --> 00:11:11,535 from Ms. Pierson for me to be chalk monitor that year. 261 00:11:12,303 --> 00:11:15,506 Thank you. I needed to hear that. 262 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,707 Why can't Leonard understand it? 263 00:11:18,977 --> 00:11:21,261 Because he's not like us, Penny. 264 00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:23,547 We're dreamers. 265 00:11:25,483 --> 00:11:27,267 Yeah, I need to start cracking the window 266 00:11:27,269 --> 00:11:29,219 when I leave you in the car. 267 00:11:35,493 --> 00:11:37,511 Hey. 268 00:11:37,513 --> 00:11:38,829 Hello, Bert. 269 00:11:38,831 --> 00:11:40,781 So, anyway, there's this big, uh, 270 00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:42,699 rock and mineral show next week 271 00:11:42,701 --> 00:11:44,401 in Santa Monica and... Listen, 272 00:11:44,403 --> 00:11:47,804 um, Bert, before you say anything else, I... 273 00:11:47,806 --> 00:11:49,823 I have a boyfriend. 274 00:11:49,825 --> 00:11:52,209 Oh. This is awkward. 275 00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:54,678 You thought I was gonna ask you to go with me 276 00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:55,929 to the mineral show. 277 00:11:55,931 --> 00:11:57,447 Weren't you? 278 00:11:58,283 --> 00:12:01,552 Yeah. 279 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:04,271 That's very nice of you, but... 280 00:12:04,273 --> 00:12:06,573 I do have a boyfriend. 281 00:12:06,575 --> 00:12:07,808 That's what you all say. 282 00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,693 You just don't want to go out with me 283 00:12:09,695 --> 00:12:11,278 because I have an off-putting personality. 284 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,113 No, that's not true. 285 00:12:13,115 --> 00:12:15,449 My boyfriend has an off-putting personality, too. 286 00:12:15,451 --> 00:12:17,784 Like, way worse than you. 287 00:12:18,570 --> 00:12:20,537 Don't worry. 288 00:12:20,539 --> 00:12:21,771 I'm used to it. 289 00:12:21,773 --> 00:12:24,992 I mean, I'm big and weird and funny-looking 290 00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:27,878 and no one ever wants to do anything with me. 291 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:30,113 Don't say that. 292 00:12:30,115 --> 00:12:32,466 It's okay. 293 00:12:32,468 --> 00:12:34,234 I know I'm a monster. 294 00:12:34,236 --> 00:12:35,785 No, Bert, come on. 295 00:12:35,787 --> 00:12:38,789 I'd love to go to the mineral show with you. 296 00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:40,290 Sweet. 297 00:12:40,292 --> 00:12:42,259 It's a date. 298 00:12:44,562 --> 00:12:45,929 No, it's not. 299 00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,431 Too late! 300 00:12:55,456 --> 00:12:57,658 Wow. 301 00:12:58,826 --> 00:13:01,495 Yeah. Haven't seen this many people in my store 302 00:13:01,497 --> 00:13:05,515 since that Korean church bus crashed through my front window. 303 00:13:05,517 --> 00:13:07,868 Hey! Stuart! 304 00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:08,936 Jesse. 305 00:13:08,938 --> 00:13:10,671 Haven't seen you in forever. 306 00:13:10,673 --> 00:13:12,172 Look how gray you've gotten. 307 00:13:12,174 --> 00:13:14,641 My hair's exactly the same color as always. 308 00:13:14,643 --> 00:13:17,110 No, I was talking about your skin. 309 00:13:17,112 --> 00:13:20,581 Look, uh, my friend here needs a comic book... 310 00:13:20,583 --> 00:13:22,716 Ooh! And she went into your store by mistake. 311 00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:25,302 Good thing there was no one there to see you. 312 00:13:26,271 --> 00:13:28,272 What do you need? 313 00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:29,523 Oh, yeah, yeah. I got this. 314 00:13:29,525 --> 00:13:30,691 Right over here. 315 00:13:33,678 --> 00:13:35,629 Even you, Sweatpants? 316 00:13:35,631 --> 00:13:37,948 Free popcorn. 317 00:13:39,050 --> 00:13:40,917 Can I offer you a coffee? 318 00:13:40,919 --> 00:13:42,286 Espresso? Latte? 319 00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:43,320 No, thanks. 320 00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:45,522 How about you, Stu? Mocha? Scone? 321 00:13:45,524 --> 00:13:48,125 Directions to the nearest soup kitchen? 322 00:13:48,127 --> 00:13:49,459 Hey. 323 00:13:49,461 --> 00:13:50,494 I'm just kidding. 324 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,829 He knows where the soup kitchen is. 325 00:13:54,632 --> 00:13:56,667 It's on Merton Avenue. 326 00:13:58,303 --> 00:14:00,721 I don't think I like the way you're treating my friend. 327 00:14:00,723 --> 00:14:01,888 Sorry. 328 00:14:01,890 --> 00:14:03,624 You want the book or not? 329 00:14:03,626 --> 00:14:04,641 Not from you. 330 00:14:04,643 --> 00:14:06,760 Let's go, Stuart. 331 00:14:09,981 --> 00:14:11,548 You know something, Jesse? 332 00:14:11,550 --> 00:14:13,850 You may have a successful business 333 00:14:13,852 --> 00:14:15,686 a-and the kind of pink complexion 334 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:18,038 that comes with good nutrition... 335 00:14:19,007 --> 00:14:21,158 ...but I have something more important. 336 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:22,392 What's that? 337 00:14:22,394 --> 00:14:24,578 Friendship. 338 00:14:26,948 --> 00:14:30,751 Which I would trade in a heartbeat for all of this. 339 00:14:33,438 --> 00:14:35,956 The mineral and rock show? 340 00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:39,926 That would be awful even without Bert. 341 00:14:39,928 --> 00:14:41,878 So what am I supposed to do now? 342 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:45,081 Prepare your uterus for his gigantic offspring? 343 00:14:47,535 --> 00:14:49,052 This isn't funny. 344 00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:50,754 I'm gonna have to tell him the truth: 345 00:14:50,756 --> 00:14:52,472 that even if I didn't have a boyfriend, 346 00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:53,774 I wouldn't be interested in him. 347 00:14:53,776 --> 00:14:55,925 I've heard those words so many times. 348 00:14:55,927 --> 00:14:58,445 From Linda Nosenchuck, Tammy Rosenworcel... 349 00:14:58,447 --> 00:14:59,980 Padma Kapur, Neha Chowdury... 350 00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:02,032 ...Marci Grossman, Lisa Mazzarino... 351 00:15:02,034 --> 00:15:03,650 ...Megan Pincus... ...Tammy Cho... 352 00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:05,185 Oh, who was that girl from our Starbucks? 353 00:15:05,187 --> 00:15:07,571 Arlene Russel! Yes! Arlene! 354 00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:13,210 She wrote "no way" on both our cappuccinos. 355 00:15:13,212 --> 00:15:14,628 Poor Bert. 356 00:15:14,630 --> 00:15:16,830 That guy's got a rough afternoon ahead of him. 357 00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:18,915 Well, how would you want a girl 358 00:15:18,917 --> 00:15:20,767 to tell you she wasn't interested? 359 00:15:20,769 --> 00:15:23,637 I guess, uh, I'd like her to sit me down, 360 00:15:23,639 --> 00:15:25,639 look me in the eye and say, 361 00:15:25,641 --> 00:15:28,759 "I was wrong. I love you." 362 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:29,743 And then maybe 363 00:15:29,745 --> 00:15:32,396 she could touch me in a special way. 364 00:15:32,398 --> 00:15:36,466 That's how you reject a guy. 365 00:15:36,468 --> 00:15:37,901 Okay, I don't have time for this. 366 00:15:37,903 --> 00:15:40,437 I'm just gonna go find him and be brutally honest. 367 00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:41,788 No, don't. He'll be so upset. 368 00:15:41,790 --> 00:15:43,640 He'll probably climb up the Empire State Building 369 00:15:43,642 --> 00:15:46,109 and start swatting at planes. 370 00:15:50,381 --> 00:15:52,215 You want us to talk to him? 371 00:15:52,217 --> 00:15:53,233 Really? 372 00:15:53,235 --> 00:15:54,568 You would do that? 373 00:15:54,570 --> 00:15:56,086 Sure. We've both been in his shoes. 374 00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:58,739 We'll let him down with compassion and respect. 375 00:15:58,741 --> 00:16:00,524 Thank you. 376 00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:02,509 Let's go. 377 00:16:03,661 --> 00:16:05,662 So we tell him she's a lesbian, right? 378 00:16:05,664 --> 00:16:08,615 Of course we tell him she's a lesbian. 379 00:16:15,656 --> 00:16:18,058 And hold three... 380 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:20,560 two... one. 381 00:16:20,562 --> 00:16:22,095 Very good. 382 00:16:22,097 --> 00:16:26,316 Now let's try Warrior II. 383 00:16:27,151 --> 00:16:29,302 And hold. 384 00:16:32,089 --> 00:16:35,191 I've read that there are great yogis who have such mastery 385 00:16:35,193 --> 00:16:40,080 over their bodies they can draw water in through their genitals. 386 00:16:47,722 --> 00:16:51,925 Yeah, well, I don't think we're gonna get to do that today. 387 00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:54,227 Too bad. 388 00:16:54,229 --> 00:16:56,563 It seems like a good way to drink a milk shake 389 00:16:56,565 --> 00:16:59,316 without getting brain freeze. 390 00:17:00,935 --> 00:17:02,686 Oh, hey. 391 00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,237 And now we go to Reverse Warrior. 392 00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:11,578 How did she get you to do yoga? 393 00:17:11,580 --> 00:17:16,232 Well, to be honest, I thought she said "Yoda." 394 00:17:18,419 --> 00:17:22,706 I'm helping him relax because, unlike you, he supports me. 395 00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:25,175 Oh, how many times do I have to say it? 396 00:17:25,177 --> 00:17:26,543 I support you. 397 00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:28,077 Sheldon, take a break. 398 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:30,380 Namaste. 399 00:17:32,366 --> 00:17:35,051 Okay, if you support me, what was with that phone call? 400 00:17:35,053 --> 00:17:37,470 Fine. I'm not sure you should have quit. 401 00:17:37,472 --> 00:17:39,389 But if you care so much what I think, 402 00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:41,308 why didn't you ask me before you did it? 403 00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:42,726 Oh, so now I need your permission? 404 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,678 Would you have asked me before you quit your job? 405 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:47,564 Yes. I thought we were in the kind of relationship 406 00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:48,899 where we make decisions together. 407 00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:51,034 If I'm wrong, then maybe we need to talk 408 00:17:51,036 --> 00:17:53,153 about the kind of relationship we're actually in. 409 00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:54,254 Yeah, well, maybe we do. 410 00:17:54,256 --> 00:17:56,907 I'm willing to if you guys are. 411 00:17:57,742 --> 00:17:59,426 Can we please have some privacy? 412 00:17:59,428 --> 00:18:00,710 Y... No. 413 00:18:00,712 --> 00:18:02,829 I'm as much a part of this relationship as you two, 414 00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:05,448 and I think it's high time we put all our cards on the table. 415 00:18:05,450 --> 00:18:07,801 Yeah. For example, where is this going? 416 00:18:07,803 --> 00:18:10,020 Are you two ever getting married? 417 00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:12,255 And, if so, where will we all live? 418 00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:14,307 Have you thought about that? 419 00:18:14,309 --> 00:18:16,376 No. Penny? 420 00:18:16,378 --> 00:18:17,644 Okay, wait. What are we doing? 421 00:18:17,646 --> 00:18:19,128 For some reason, 422 00:18:19,130 --> 00:18:22,148 we're planning a future where we both live with Sheldon forever. 423 00:18:22,150 --> 00:18:24,150 Good. Now we're getting somewhere. 424 00:18:24,152 --> 00:18:26,453 Look, I know you think 425 00:18:26,455 --> 00:18:28,238 I'm being reckless, and you might be right, 426 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,906 but I need to take this shot. 427 00:18:29,908 --> 00:18:30,857 Yeah, no kidding. 428 00:18:30,859 --> 00:18:32,525 Despite what it says on her résumé, 429 00:18:32,527 --> 00:18:34,143 she is no longer 22. 430 00:18:37,431 --> 00:18:40,467 I swear, I am on your side. 431 00:18:40,469 --> 00:18:42,151 You keep saying you’re on my side, 432 00:18:42,153 --> 00:18:43,620 but you don't act like it. 433 00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:44,921 He does that to me, too. 434 00:18:44,923 --> 00:18:46,673 Why do we put up with it? 435 00:18:47,758 --> 00:18:50,844 Listen, I could never do what you're doing, okay? 436 00:18:50,846 --> 00:18:52,412 I would be terrified. 437 00:18:52,414 --> 00:18:54,214 Well, it's scary for me, too. 438 00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:56,332 I'm fine with it. 439 00:18:57,985 --> 00:19:00,136 My point is, just because I couldn't do it 440 00:19:00,138 --> 00:19:01,471 doesn't mean you shouldn't. 441 00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:04,057 And I'm proud of you. 442 00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:08,028 Okay. Thank you. 443 00:19:09,130 --> 00:19:10,997 Well, to celebrate this reconciliation, 444 00:19:10,999 --> 00:19:12,699 let's all share a milk shake. 445 00:19:12,701 --> 00:19:15,568 Uh, Penny, you'll need a straw. 446 00:19:21,042 --> 00:19:22,025 You're back. 447 00:19:22,027 --> 00:19:23,293 Yes, I am! 448 00:19:23,295 --> 00:19:25,378 There's a few more things I want to say to you. 449 00:19:25,380 --> 00:19:26,630 Stuart's store is just fine, 450 00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:28,248 and he's a much nicer person than you are, 451 00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:29,716 and if you still have that comic, 452 00:19:29,718 --> 00:19:32,335 I'd like to buy it right now! 453 00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:33,553 No problem. 454 00:19:33,555 --> 00:19:36,189 Oh, you want a latte while you wait? 455 00:19:36,191 --> 00:19:38,008 No, I don't want a latte! 456 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,944 I want a cappuccino and a blueberry scone! 457 00:19:40,946 --> 00:19:43,079 I only have chocolate chip. 458 00:19:43,081 --> 00:19:46,349 Well, that sounds even better! 459 00:19:54,806 --> 00:19:57,975 Thanks for coming to the mineral and rock show with me. 460 00:20:00,963 --> 00:20:04,198 We're sorry Amy didn't want to go. 461 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:08,086 Really, really sorry. 462 00:20:08,088 --> 00:20:09,320 Eh. 463 00:20:09,322 --> 00:20:11,339 Who needs her when I have you guys? 464 00:20:11,341 --> 00:20:13,074 Rock show! 465 00:20:13,076 --> 00:20:15,043 Rock show! Rock show! 466 00:20:15,045 --> 00:20:17,428 Rock show! Rock show! 467 00:20:17,430 --> 00:20:20,865 Rock show! Rock show...! 468 00:20:20,867 --> 00:20:25,867 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man