1
00:00:02,244 --> 00:00:03,844
Hey, Leonard, if you're
not busy tomorrow,
2
00:00:03,846 --> 00:00:06,246
I have to do a little
reception after work.
3
00:00:06,248 --> 00:00:09,082
Oh, I would, but we need to make
a push on the air force project.
4
00:00:09,084 --> 00:00:10,317
Oh, are you sure?
5
00:00:10,319 --> 00:00:12,119
We're celebrating
our new A.D.D. drug,
6
00:00:12,121 --> 00:00:14,888
and it'll probably be over
in, like, six minutes.
7
00:00:16,025 --> 00:00:17,224
Did you say you guys
are working on
8
00:00:17,226 --> 00:00:19,393
the guidance system tomorrow?
Yeah, why?
9
00:00:19,395 --> 00:00:21,195
Well, Sheldon said that
he was gonna work with me
10
00:00:21,197 --> 00:00:22,796
on our quantum
perception project.
11
00:00:22,798 --> 00:00:24,898
We've had this planned
for a week.
12
00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:26,867
Well, he reconfirmed
with me this morning.
13
00:00:26,869 --> 00:00:28,669
Guys, before this
gets ugly, remember,
14
00:00:28,671 --> 00:00:30,637
the winner gets Sheldon.
15
00:00:31,974 --> 00:00:34,074
Hey, Raj, do you want
to go with me tomorrow?
16
00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:36,577
Are you asking because you
want me there or out of pity?
17
00:00:36,579 --> 00:00:38,111
Actually, never mind,
don't answer.
18
00:00:38,113 --> 00:00:39,279
I'd love to.
19
00:00:41,116 --> 00:00:42,983
Hello.
20
00:00:42,985 --> 00:00:44,318
Why did you tell Leonard
you're working on
21
00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:46,253
the gyroscope tomorrow?
Because I am.
22
00:00:46,255 --> 00:00:47,698
But you said you were
working with me.
23
00:00:47,722 --> 00:00:48,556
Uh-oh.
24
00:00:48,557 --> 00:00:52,626
Someone's got two dates
to the nerd prom.
25
00:00:53,295 --> 00:00:54,294
I have a plan
26
00:00:54,296 --> 00:00:56,830
to work on both
projects simultaneously.
27
00:00:56,832 --> 00:00:59,466
And for your information,
the summer conference
28
00:00:59,468 --> 00:01:02,636
on algebraic topology
at Caltech is nerd prom.
29
00:01:04,039 --> 00:01:05,873
I'm sorry, what is
this plan you have?
30
00:01:05,875 --> 00:01:08,742
Well, I'm not needed at
both places at the same time.
31
00:01:08,744 --> 00:01:11,712
And I can also free up extra
hours with simple tricks,
32
00:01:11,714 --> 00:01:14,815
such as using a minimal amount
of words to convey my point.
33
00:01:14,817 --> 00:01:17,184
When does
that start?
34
00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:19,353
Soon.
35
00:01:19,355 --> 00:01:20,721
See, I could've said
36
00:01:20,723 --> 00:01:22,456
"in the near future," but I
didn't say "in the near future,"
37
00:01:22,458 --> 00:01:25,525
'cause "in the near future" is
three more words than "soon."
38
00:01:25,527 --> 00:01:28,328
"In" one, "the" two, "near"
three, "future" four.
39
00:01:28,330 --> 00:01:30,264
See "in the near future"
is four, "soon" is just one,
40
00:01:30,266 --> 00:01:33,233
four is more than one;
saving time already.
41
00:01:34,637 --> 00:01:35,936
Genius.
42
00:01:35,938 --> 00:01:37,137
I was gonna say,
43
00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:39,606
"Why does anyone think
Sheldon's a genius?"
44
00:01:39,608 --> 00:01:41,608
But I didn't.
45
00:01:42,678 --> 00:01:46,280
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
46
00:01:46,282 --> 00:01:49,616
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
47
00:01:49,618 --> 00:01:51,251
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
48
00:01:51,253 --> 00:01:53,787
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
49
00:01:53,789 --> 00:01:56,456
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
50
00:01:56,458 --> 00:01:59,126
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
51
00:01:59,128 --> 00:02:01,028
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
52
00:02:01,030 --> 00:02:01,607
♪ Bang! ♪
53
00:02:01,608 --> 00:02:05,608
♪ The Big Bang Theory 10x20 ♪
The Recollection Dissipation
Original Air Date on April 6, 2017
54
00:02:05,609 --> 00:02:12,109
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
55
00:02:12,110 --> 00:02:15,411
Gentlemen, I've got
Amy up and running.
56
00:02:15,413 --> 00:02:16,546
Shall we get to work?
57
00:02:16,548 --> 00:02:19,215
Uh, before we do,
what are you wearing,
58
00:02:19,217 --> 00:02:22,051
oh, friend who
we pretend is normal?
59
00:02:22,053 --> 00:02:24,754
These are hydration backpacks.
60
00:02:24,756 --> 00:02:27,157
Eh, for efficiency,
whenever I'm thirsty,
61
00:02:27,159 --> 00:02:28,625
I have access to water.
62
00:02:28,627 --> 00:02:31,494
Eh, when I'm hungry,
I have lentil soup.
63
00:02:33,298 --> 00:02:35,265
It's getting harder to pretend.
64
00:02:35,267 --> 00:02:37,367
Anyway, Sheldon, we're
at a decision point
65
00:02:37,369 --> 00:02:39,235
to run the xenon stream
through the cryocooler
66
00:02:39,237 --> 00:02:40,904
or through the
vacuum filter.
67
00:02:40,906 --> 00:02:42,806
Run down the pros and cons
of each for me.
68
00:02:42,808 --> 00:02:44,908
Well, if we run the xenon stream
through the cryocooler,
69
00:02:44,910 --> 00:02:45,875
it'll be cooled immediately
70
00:02:45,877 --> 00:02:47,510
before it reacts
with the conduction.
71
00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:55,318
Oh, sorry, uh, carrot chunk.
72
00:02:56,454 --> 00:02:59,155
You can just feel
the time being saved.
73
00:03:01,126 --> 00:03:04,427
Ah, I'm back, you got me
for eight minutes.
74
00:03:04,429 --> 00:03:05,461
Sheldon,
this is silly.
75
00:03:05,463 --> 00:03:07,030
You can't expect us
to do quality work
76
00:03:07,032 --> 00:03:09,833
with you popping
in and out like this.
77
00:03:09,835 --> 00:03:11,467
The coefficient isn't lambda,
it's lambda sub one.
78
00:03:11,469 --> 00:03:12,502
And over here,
79
00:03:12,504 --> 00:03:13,903
you should consider
the possibility
80
00:03:13,905 --> 00:03:16,673
that the brain itself is in
two different quantum states.
81
00:03:16,675 --> 00:03:19,542
And lastly, do you have
any little soup crackers?
82
00:03:20,612 --> 00:03:22,946
The rate of spinning for
the central axis centrifuge
83
00:03:22,948 --> 00:03:25,248
has to be four
revolutions per second.
84
00:03:25,250 --> 00:03:27,684
It can't be four revolutions,
it's got to be seven.
85
00:03:27,686 --> 00:03:28,551
Seven?!
86
00:03:28,553 --> 00:03:30,053
Look at the board,
it's four.
87
00:03:30,055 --> 00:03:31,087
Oh, my God, it's seven!
88
00:03:31,089 --> 00:03:32,155
Four!
Seven!
89
00:03:32,157 --> 00:03:33,456
It's five and a half.
90
00:03:34,359 --> 00:03:36,259
Son of a bitch,
it's five and a half.
91
00:03:37,395 --> 00:03:39,929
B.R.B., that's short
for "Be right back."
92
00:03:39,931 --> 00:03:41,931
I'm saving so much time!
93
00:03:43,201 --> 00:03:45,535
The two signals meet up
in the corpus callosum
94
00:03:45,537 --> 00:03:48,171
and T equals zero.
95
00:03:48,173 --> 00:03:51,574
And I know a boy who just
earned a slurp of soup.
96
00:03:51,576 --> 00:03:53,142
Incredible.
97
00:03:53,144 --> 00:03:56,212
Sheldon, I didn't expect that
you could work on both projects,
98
00:03:56,214 --> 00:03:58,514
but I, I was wrong.
99
00:03:58,516 --> 00:04:00,250
You know, I felt the same way
about the spork.
100
00:04:00,252 --> 00:04:02,552
Uh, solids and liquids
handled by one utensil?
101
00:04:02,554 --> 00:04:04,153
That'll never work.
102
00:04:04,155 --> 00:04:05,655
Spoiler: works.
103
00:04:06,858 --> 00:04:08,224
I got to admit,
104
00:04:08,226 --> 00:04:10,159
we didn't think you'd be able
to do two things at once.
105
00:04:10,161 --> 00:04:13,096
Yeah, I felt the same way
about the platypus.
106
00:04:13,098 --> 00:04:14,530
You know,
bird and mammal
107
00:04:14,532 --> 00:04:16,065
in the same creature? No way.
108
00:04:16,067 --> 00:04:19,035
And spoiler: way.
109
00:04:21,172 --> 00:04:23,039
Hey.
Hey.
110
00:04:23,041 --> 00:04:26,075
Oh, thanks again for letting
me use your laptop last night.
111
00:04:26,077 --> 00:04:27,377
No problem.
112
00:04:27,379 --> 00:04:29,012
Was just doing my taxes.
113
00:04:29,014 --> 00:04:30,213
Okay.
114
00:04:30,215 --> 00:04:31,648
Actually, if
I could...
115
00:04:31,650 --> 00:04:33,116
if I could just
check one more...
116
00:04:33,118 --> 00:04:34,284
Already cleared
the browser history.
117
00:04:34,286 --> 00:04:35,985
You're a good woman.
118
00:04:37,188 --> 00:04:38,721
What you working on?
119
00:04:38,723 --> 00:04:41,524
Trying to catch up on office
e-mails before I go back.
120
00:04:41,526 --> 00:04:44,928
Oh, that's right,
maternity leave's almost over.
121
00:04:44,930 --> 00:04:46,229
Ah, you excited?
122
00:04:46,231 --> 00:04:49,632
Yeah, I mean, I'll miss Halley,
123
00:04:49,634 --> 00:04:51,801
but it'll be nice
to get out of the house,
124
00:04:51,803 --> 00:04:53,736
be intellectually
stimulated.
125
00:04:53,738 --> 00:04:58,441
Go out to lunch instead of,
you know, be lunch.
126
00:04:59,311 --> 00:05:00,777
That's great, good for you.
127
00:05:00,779 --> 00:05:05,315
Yeah, I mean, with you and my
parents, she's gonna be fine.
128
00:05:05,317 --> 00:05:06,582
Ah, of course
she is.
129
00:05:06,584 --> 00:05:08,217
And that day care is great.
130
00:05:08,219 --> 00:05:09,852
It is. I went to check it out,
131
00:05:09,854 --> 00:05:12,755
and they are very cautious about
letting strange men with no kids
132
00:05:12,757 --> 00:05:15,458
peek in the windows.
133
00:05:17,295 --> 00:05:20,596
Plus, I, I think I'm setting
a good example for Halley,
134
00:05:20,598 --> 00:05:22,332
to show her that
women can be mothers
135
00:05:22,334 --> 00:05:24,968
and still have
satisfying careers.
136
00:05:24,970 --> 00:05:27,870
Sure, she won't know where I
went or if I'm ever coming back.
137
00:05:27,872 --> 00:05:29,973
That'll just make the ten
minutes between when I get home
138
00:05:29,975 --> 00:05:32,842
and her
bedtime even more special.
139
00:05:33,812 --> 00:05:37,146
Uh, other than burp you
or give you a bottle,
140
00:05:37,148 --> 00:05:39,482
I don't know
what to do right now.
141
00:05:39,484 --> 00:05:43,386
It's okay, I'm just being
emotional about this.
142
00:05:43,388 --> 00:05:45,355
Can you not tell Howard?
143
00:05:45,357 --> 00:05:47,824
Well, don't you think
it'd be healthier
144
00:05:47,826 --> 00:05:49,826
if you told him what's
going on with you?
145
00:05:49,828 --> 00:05:51,127
Don't you think
it'd be healthier
146
00:05:51,129 --> 00:05:54,130
if you had your own apartment,
grown man?
147
00:05:55,633 --> 00:05:58,034
Your secret is safe with me.
148
00:06:01,606 --> 00:06:04,440
Hey, since when do you do
laundry on a Thursday?
149
00:06:04,442 --> 00:06:06,943
Oh, I had an
accident at work,
150
00:06:06,945 --> 00:06:10,279
I slipped and fell
on my soup sack.
151
00:06:10,281 --> 00:06:14,183
You know, there was a time I
would say "What's a soup sack?"
152
00:06:14,185 --> 00:06:17,353
But... I'm glad we're past that.
153
00:06:20,325 --> 00:06:22,725
You know, there was a time
I would say "God bless you,"
154
00:06:22,727 --> 00:06:25,261
and then you would say "If you
must invoke an imaginary deity,
155
00:06:25,263 --> 00:06:26,396
how about Thor?"
156
00:06:26,398 --> 00:06:28,231
And I would say,
157
00:06:28,233 --> 00:06:29,899
"How do you know
I didn't mean Thor?"
158
00:06:29,901 --> 00:06:31,167
And then you would say "Touché,"
159
00:06:31,169 --> 00:06:32,368
and that there ends the tale
160
00:06:32,370 --> 00:06:35,171
of why I no longer say
"God bless you."
161
00:06:36,608 --> 00:06:38,508
Well, we have had some fun,
haven't we?
162
00:06:38,510 --> 00:06:39,709
Oh, yeah.
163
00:06:40,612 --> 00:06:42,412
So, Leonard tells me
you've had a busy day.
164
00:06:42,414 --> 00:06:43,813
Hmm? Oh, I did.
165
00:06:43,815 --> 00:06:45,048
It hasn't stopped.
166
00:06:45,050 --> 00:06:47,383
I figured out a solution
for our navigation system
167
00:06:47,385 --> 00:06:50,653
while I was pre-soaking lentils
out of my pants.
168
00:06:51,656 --> 00:06:53,122
Are you getting sick?
169
00:06:53,124 --> 00:06:54,323
Of course not.
170
00:06:54,325 --> 00:06:55,525
I'm too busy to be sick.
171
00:06:55,527 --> 00:06:56,859
Well, you're
pretty delicate.
172
00:06:56,861 --> 00:06:58,761
Maybe you shouldn't be
pushing yourself so hard.
173
00:06:58,763 --> 00:07:00,363
I'm fine.
All right.
174
00:07:00,365 --> 00:07:02,265
Well, we'll just pretend
that you didn't catch a cold
175
00:07:02,267 --> 00:07:04,233
watching Frozen.
I...
176
00:07:04,235 --> 00:07:05,701
That didn't happen.
177
00:07:05,703 --> 00:07:07,403
You also got a nosebleed
watching Up.
178
00:07:07,405 --> 00:07:08,738
Just do your laundry!
179
00:07:12,877 --> 00:07:14,644
Stuart, you didn't
have to make dinner.
180
00:07:14,646 --> 00:07:17,680
Yeah, well, I felt bad about
upsetting you this morning.
181
00:07:17,682 --> 00:07:21,751
And to be honest, I'm not the
biggest fan of your meatloaf.
182
00:07:23,588 --> 00:07:24,954
Hey, what's for dinner?
183
00:07:24,956 --> 00:07:25,955
Meatloaf.
184
00:07:25,957 --> 00:07:27,256
Oh, cool.
185
00:07:27,258 --> 00:07:28,391
Stuart made it.
186
00:07:28,393 --> 00:07:30,259
Oh, cool.
187
00:07:31,629 --> 00:07:33,129
Hey, I was thinking
188
00:07:33,131 --> 00:07:35,631
maybe we take Halley
to the zoo this weekend,
189
00:07:35,633 --> 00:07:37,100
get in a little
family time
190
00:07:37,102 --> 00:07:38,601
before you go
back to work.
191
00:07:38,603 --> 00:07:39,936
Sounds great.
192
00:07:39,938 --> 00:07:41,137
Speaking of which,
193
00:07:41,139 --> 00:07:42,839
for day care,
it'll be easy for me
194
00:07:42,841 --> 00:07:45,741
to drop her off, unless
you want to do it.
195
00:07:45,743 --> 00:07:47,777
Hmm, guess it should be me.
196
00:07:47,779 --> 00:07:48,911
I can't do it;
197
00:07:48,913 --> 00:07:52,782
they have a picture of me
on file now.
198
00:07:57,655 --> 00:07:58,654
You okay?
199
00:07:58,656 --> 00:08:00,223
Of course, why?
200
00:08:00,225 --> 00:08:02,592
Well, I don't know,
you seem a little upset.
201
00:08:02,594 --> 00:08:04,894
No, I'm fine.
You sure?
202
00:08:04,896 --> 00:08:05,995
Why don't you
think she's fine?
203
00:08:05,997 --> 00:08:08,231
She sounds fine,
she looks fine.
204
00:08:08,233 --> 00:08:11,000
If I saw her on the street I'd
say, "Damn, that girl's fine!"
205
00:08:15,607 --> 00:08:17,840
Sheldon, you're sick,
go back to bed.
206
00:08:17,842 --> 00:08:20,243
I am fine.
207
00:08:20,245 --> 00:08:21,911
Here, eat your toast.
208
00:08:26,885 --> 00:08:28,584
Sorry.
209
00:08:29,621 --> 00:08:31,654
It's okay,
now I don't need butter.
210
00:08:33,525 --> 00:08:36,826
Well, perhaps I am
a little under the weather.
211
00:08:36,828 --> 00:08:39,195
It's nothing a little
cold medicine and tea can't fix.
212
00:08:39,197 --> 00:08:40,796
You need sleep.
213
00:08:40,798 --> 00:08:42,899
What I need is
to get to work.
214
00:08:42,901 --> 00:08:44,901
Well, I don't want
your germs around me.
215
00:08:44,903 --> 00:08:47,503
What? You hold my hand,
you kiss my mouth,
216
00:08:47,505 --> 00:08:50,239
but you draw the line
at 102 fever?
217
00:08:51,142 --> 00:08:52,675
What happened to our love?
218
00:08:57,348 --> 00:08:59,115
Sheldon, are you okay?
219
00:09:01,819 --> 00:09:03,386
What's going on?
220
00:09:04,289 --> 00:09:05,821
How'd I get here?
221
00:09:05,823 --> 00:09:09,091
I don't know, we came home
from work and we found you.
222
00:09:09,093 --> 00:09:11,861
Home from work?
223
00:09:11,863 --> 00:09:12,962
What time is it?
224
00:09:12,964 --> 00:09:13,930
It's 9:00.
225
00:09:13,932 --> 00:09:15,698
9:00?!
226
00:09:15,700 --> 00:09:17,366
W-What happened
to 8:00 and 7:00
227
00:09:17,368 --> 00:09:19,202
and all the other o'clocks?
228
00:09:19,204 --> 00:09:21,404
Wait, you don't remember?
229
00:09:21,406 --> 00:09:24,740
Well, I remember waking up
in the morning,
230
00:09:24,742 --> 00:09:27,944
Amy rubbing Vicks on my chest.
231
00:09:27,946 --> 00:09:31,380
And her hands were like
two frozen chunks of tundra.
232
00:09:33,251 --> 00:09:36,485
I took some cold medicine to...
233
00:09:36,487 --> 00:09:38,254
I took cold medicine.
234
00:09:39,357 --> 00:09:40,556
You did seem a little loopy
235
00:09:40,558 --> 00:09:41,891
when you showed up at the lab.
236
00:09:41,893 --> 00:09:43,793
At-- at the lab?!
237
00:09:45,363 --> 00:09:47,930
Why am I naked
from the waist down?
238
00:09:50,702 --> 00:09:52,001
I don't know
where your pants are,
239
00:09:52,003 --> 00:09:54,470
but we did find your underwear
in a pot on the stove.
240
00:10:04,168 --> 00:10:07,570
My pants are missing,
I don't remember anything.
241
00:10:07,572 --> 00:10:11,307
Penny, this is your youth.
What do I do?
242
00:10:11,309 --> 00:10:13,609
I don't know,
243
00:10:13,611 --> 00:10:16,245
check your body for tattoos?
244
00:10:17,415 --> 00:10:19,281
Leonard,
would you be a lamb...
245
00:10:19,283 --> 00:10:20,816
She's kidding!
246
00:10:23,020 --> 00:10:26,122
Wait, wait. Where's my bag?
My phone and my wallet
247
00:10:26,124 --> 00:10:27,556
are in my bag.
It's right here.
248
00:10:31,395 --> 00:10:34,230
Where's my notebook?
My notebook's gone. Oh, no.
249
00:10:34,232 --> 00:10:36,198
Okay, it's just a notebook,
what's the big deal?
250
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,633
What's the big deal?
251
00:10:37,635 --> 00:10:38,834
It's full of
classified information
252
00:10:38,836 --> 00:10:40,169
about the air force project!
253
00:10:40,171 --> 00:10:41,670
How could you lose that?
254
00:10:42,874 --> 00:10:44,273
It's okay,
I'm sure we'll find it.
255
00:10:44,275 --> 00:10:46,108
Look, it's got to be
around here somewhere.
256
00:10:46,110 --> 00:10:48,778
Maybe it's wherever
your pants are.
257
00:10:50,515 --> 00:10:53,549
Nope, pants in the microwave,
no notebook.
258
00:10:55,787 --> 00:10:57,920
Hey.
259
00:10:57,922 --> 00:10:59,789
Ah, hello.
260
00:10:59,791 --> 00:11:01,857
Look, something's
going on with Bernadette.
261
00:11:01,859 --> 00:11:03,025
She say anything to you?
262
00:11:03,027 --> 00:11:05,361
Well, nope,
not a word.
263
00:11:05,363 --> 00:11:06,662
Come on, be honest.
264
00:11:06,664 --> 00:11:09,765
Did you tell her
I tried her breast pump?
265
00:11:15,039 --> 00:11:18,874
No, but I did mention it
to my therapist.
266
00:11:21,779 --> 00:11:24,480
Well, I know she's mad
at me about something.
267
00:11:24,482 --> 00:11:26,916
Well, what have you done
that would upset her?
268
00:11:26,918 --> 00:11:30,519
Oh, gosh,
how much time do you have?
269
00:11:31,923 --> 00:11:34,590
Well, why don't you just
start with the worst thing?
270
00:11:34,592 --> 00:11:36,792
Hmm, let's see. Mm.
271
00:11:36,794 --> 00:11:39,295
Okay, here we go: six years ago,
272
00:11:39,297 --> 00:11:45,234
I got a call that Bernie's
great-aunt, Trixie, died.
273
00:11:45,236 --> 00:11:46,435
And?
274
00:11:46,437 --> 00:11:50,673
And I forgot
to give her the message.
275
00:11:50,675 --> 00:11:53,142
That's terrible.
276
00:11:53,144 --> 00:11:54,977
The terrible part is,
ever since then,
277
00:11:54,979 --> 00:11:56,645
I've been
sending Bernie
278
00:11:56,647 --> 00:11:59,515
Christmas cards from Trixie.
279
00:11:59,517 --> 00:12:02,251
Oh...
280
00:12:02,253 --> 00:12:03,452
Howard!
281
00:12:03,454 --> 00:12:05,287
Let me finish-- and one card
had five dollars in it
282
00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:06,622
I took from Bernie's purse.
283
00:12:10,061 --> 00:12:12,127
The notebook isn't
in the bathroom.
284
00:12:12,129 --> 00:12:13,596
I can't find it,
either.
285
00:12:13,598 --> 00:12:15,097
How can he not remember a day?
286
00:12:15,099 --> 00:12:18,100
Well, people who are abducted
by aliens lose time.
287
00:12:18,102 --> 00:12:21,070
I mean, maybe it happens
to the aliens, too.
288
00:12:22,473 --> 00:12:25,307
Well, it's not
across the hall.
289
00:12:25,309 --> 00:12:28,644
That's it. I'm in breach
of my security clearance.
290
00:12:28,646 --> 00:12:30,079
I'm going to prison.
291
00:12:30,081 --> 00:12:32,615
And you know what happens
to people like me in prison.
292
00:12:33,951 --> 00:12:38,153
I'll be forced to be
some large man's tutor.
293
00:12:40,124 --> 00:12:42,558
You're not going to prison.
294
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:44,627
But, boy, it is funny
to think about.
295
00:12:46,230 --> 00:12:48,597
You really can't remember
anything?
296
00:12:48,599 --> 00:12:49,598
I'm trying.
297
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,201
Wait a minute.
Hey, let me see your phone.
298
00:12:52,203 --> 00:12:53,702
Why?
299
00:12:53,704 --> 00:12:54,837
Well, it's--
it's possible
300
00:12:54,839 --> 00:12:56,639
it was tracking
everywhere you went.
301
00:12:56,641 --> 00:12:58,040
Phones can do that?
302
00:12:58,042 --> 00:13:00,276
Yeah, it depends
on the privacy settings.
303
00:13:00,278 --> 00:13:01,377
Oh, tha-- that's so cool.
304
00:13:01,379 --> 00:13:05,414
How do you--
how do you turn that thing off?
305
00:13:05,416 --> 00:13:06,916
Relax.
306
00:13:06,918 --> 00:13:09,685
I know when you "go for a run,"
you stop for a donut.
307
00:13:09,687 --> 00:13:12,655
I don't even run there, I drive.
308
00:13:15,660 --> 00:13:17,927
Hang on, I can see
every place you went.
309
00:13:17,929 --> 00:13:18,928
What does it say?
310
00:13:18,930 --> 00:13:21,630
Uh, you were in the building,
311
00:13:21,632 --> 00:13:23,432
you were
at the university,
312
00:13:23,434 --> 00:13:26,068
then you were somewhere
on Colorado Boulevard.
313
00:13:26,070 --> 00:13:28,003
Where?
314
00:13:28,005 --> 00:13:30,272
Wait, hang on.
315
00:13:30,274 --> 00:13:32,174
Did you go to a cowboy bar?
316
00:13:32,176 --> 00:13:34,310
I-- no!
317
00:13:34,312 --> 00:13:36,845
That is preposterous.
318
00:13:38,516 --> 00:13:40,783
Ow!
319
00:13:45,189 --> 00:13:46,722
Maybe.
320
00:13:50,328 --> 00:13:52,795
Hey, how's it going?
321
00:13:52,797 --> 00:13:53,963
Fine.
322
00:13:53,965 --> 00:13:57,166
Good. Love you.
323
00:13:57,168 --> 00:13:58,901
Love you, too.
Love you more.
324
00:13:58,903 --> 00:14:02,304
Okay, you won.
Can I finish what I'm doing?
325
00:14:02,306 --> 00:14:05,674
Sure, sorry.
326
00:14:09,613 --> 00:14:11,246
Something on your mind?
327
00:14:11,248 --> 00:14:13,048
No, no, nothing.
328
00:14:13,050 --> 00:14:15,584
Okay, well,
maybe I'm just feeling like
329
00:14:15,586 --> 00:14:17,519
something's bothering you.
330
00:14:17,521 --> 00:14:19,221
Nope, all good.
331
00:14:19,223 --> 00:14:23,659
Prove it, make love to me
right now on the kitchen floor.
332
00:14:23,661 --> 00:14:26,195
No, what is wrong with you?
333
00:14:26,197 --> 00:14:27,596
Aha, you are upset.
334
00:14:27,598 --> 00:14:32,401
I don't know a lot about women,
but I know I upset them.
335
00:14:32,403 --> 00:14:35,337
Howard, I'm sorry
if I'm being weird,
336
00:14:35,339 --> 00:14:37,272
but it has nothing
to do with you.
337
00:14:37,274 --> 00:14:38,374
It doesn't?
338
00:14:38,376 --> 00:14:40,676
No.
339
00:14:40,678 --> 00:14:42,878
I didn't want
to tell you, but...
340
00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:46,181
I'm having a really tough time
about going back to work.
341
00:14:46,183 --> 00:14:48,884
Oh. Okay, well, I get that.
342
00:14:48,886 --> 00:14:51,487
It was hard for me
when I went back.
343
00:14:51,489 --> 00:14:52,855
It was?
Of course.
344
00:14:52,857 --> 00:14:55,124
I missed you
and the baby
345
00:14:55,126 --> 00:14:58,660
and being able to watch Ellen
every day.
346
00:14:58,662 --> 00:15:02,264
I just don't know
what the right thing to do is.
347
00:15:02,266 --> 00:15:05,034
If I go back to work,
I'm abandoning Halley.
348
00:15:05,036 --> 00:15:06,435
If I don't go,
349
00:15:06,437 --> 00:15:08,504
I'm giving up
everything I worked for.
350
00:15:08,506 --> 00:15:10,873
It's like
there's no right choice.
351
00:15:10,875 --> 00:15:14,076
Look, I don't know what
the best decision is, either.
352
00:15:15,613 --> 00:15:18,447
But whatever we choose,
if we're not happy,
353
00:15:18,449 --> 00:15:20,616
we can undo it.
354
00:15:20,618 --> 00:15:22,051
I guess.
355
00:15:22,053 --> 00:15:23,819
And the best part is:
Halley won't remember a thing.
356
00:15:25,122 --> 00:15:28,123
Babies are cute,
but they're dumb.
357
00:15:28,125 --> 00:15:29,124
I mean,
358
00:15:29,126 --> 00:15:30,526
I-I go like this,
359
00:15:30,528 --> 00:15:32,688
she thinks I'm gone. Then
magically I'm back. I mean...
360
00:15:34,165 --> 00:15:37,099
Honestly,
why are we saving for college?
361
00:15:38,903 --> 00:15:41,770
I'm not crazy about
you calling our baby dumb.
362
00:15:41,772 --> 00:15:44,406
Well, she gets it from me.
363
00:15:44,408 --> 00:15:45,574
Speaking of which,
364
00:15:45,576 --> 00:15:48,444
I have some news
about your Aunt Trixie.
365
00:15:51,482 --> 00:15:54,083
♪ Radio blastin' all night ♪
366
00:15:54,085 --> 00:15:55,717
♪ Truck bed's a carriage... ♪
367
00:15:55,719 --> 00:15:58,687
Does this place
look familiar?
368
00:15:58,689 --> 00:16:00,689
It's hard to say.
369
00:16:00,691 --> 00:16:01,957
Hey, Sheldon's back!
370
00:16:01,959 --> 00:16:03,158
Sheldon!
371
00:16:04,628 --> 00:16:07,029
It's getting clearer.
372
00:16:08,699 --> 00:16:10,499
You gonna buy another round
for the house?
373
00:16:10,501 --> 00:16:13,135
Uh, n-no, thank you.
374
00:16:13,137 --> 00:16:16,939
We now know why MasterCard
sent me a fraud alert.
375
00:16:16,941 --> 00:16:19,241
Ask him.
376
00:16:19,243 --> 00:16:21,076
Um, yes.
377
00:16:21,078 --> 00:16:22,544
Howdy, partner.
378
00:16:22,546 --> 00:16:25,481
Do you happen to recollect
if I left a notebook
379
00:16:25,483 --> 00:16:27,149
in these here parts?
380
00:16:27,151 --> 00:16:28,884
These here parts?
381
00:16:28,886 --> 00:16:31,987
It's called fitting in.
By the way, good luck.
382
00:16:31,989 --> 00:16:34,656
Here you go.
Oh.
383
00:16:34,658 --> 00:16:36,325
Thank goodness!
384
00:16:36,327 --> 00:16:38,861
One top secret
quantum guidance system.
385
00:16:38,863 --> 00:16:42,030
You understood
the math?
386
00:16:42,032 --> 00:16:44,366
No, but Sheldon told me
all about it.
387
00:16:44,368 --> 00:16:45,901
He told everybody.
388
00:16:47,771 --> 00:16:49,037
That's just great.
389
00:16:49,039 --> 00:16:50,205
Oh, don't worry,
390
00:16:50,207 --> 00:16:53,242
he made us pinky swear
we'd keep it a secret.
391
00:16:54,845 --> 00:16:56,712
I swear...
392
00:16:56,714 --> 00:16:58,480
I swear...
393
00:16:58,482 --> 00:17:00,082
...not to tell anyone...
394
00:17:00,084 --> 00:17:02,151
...not to tell anyone...
395
00:17:02,153 --> 00:17:04,786
...the top secret
military information
396
00:17:04,788 --> 00:17:06,054
I'm about to tell you.
397
00:17:06,056 --> 00:17:08,857
The top secret
military information
398
00:17:08,859 --> 00:17:10,726
I'm about to tell you.
399
00:17:10,728 --> 00:17:13,529
We really need
to skedaddle.
400
00:17:13,531 --> 00:17:14,563
Thank you.
Bye.
401
00:17:14,565 --> 00:17:16,298
See you.
402
00:17:19,370 --> 00:17:22,070
Should probably erase this.
403
00:17:30,328 --> 00:17:32,829
Thank you for
making me tea.
404
00:17:32,831 --> 00:17:34,731
You're welcome.
How is it?
405
00:17:38,470 --> 00:17:42,372
Yummy. And warm
on my back.
406
00:17:42,374 --> 00:17:45,675
Do you need
anything else?
407
00:17:45,677 --> 00:17:48,111
You know exactly
what I need.
408
00:17:48,113 --> 00:17:49,345
Fine.
409
00:17:54,886 --> 00:17:58,087
♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty ♪
410
00:17:58,089 --> 00:18:00,790
♪ Little ball of fur ♪
411
00:18:00,792 --> 00:18:03,693
♪ Happy kitty,
sleepy kitty ♪
412
00:18:03,695 --> 00:18:06,863
♪ Purr, purr, purr. ♪
413
00:18:06,865 --> 00:18:10,166
That's nice.
414
00:18:10,168 --> 00:18:12,202
Now in German.
415
00:18:26,418 --> 00:18:28,785
Great.
416
00:18:28,787 --> 00:18:31,187
Now Mandarin.
417
00:18:45,737 --> 00:18:47,136
Now Navajo.
418
00:18:48,492 --> 00:18:55,292
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man