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00:00:00,070 --> 00:00:01,600
English (HI) Subtitles.
The Big Bang Theory S09E23 [KoTuWa]
The Line Substitution Solution
2
00:00:03,208 --> 00:00:04,440
Helium.
3
00:00:04,442 --> 00:00:06,276
Yes.
Yes.
4
00:00:07,479 --> 00:00:08,244
Taylor Swift.
5
00:00:08,246 --> 00:00:09,379
Yes.
6
00:00:11,021 --> 00:00:11,703
Pi.
7
00:00:11,704 --> 00:00:13,050
Yes.
8
00:00:19,224 --> 00:00:20,323
Kardashian.
9
00:00:20,325 --> 00:00:22,091
More specific.
10
00:00:24,929 --> 00:00:25,962
Khloe?
11
00:00:25,964 --> 00:00:27,297
Yes!
12
00:00:27,299 --> 00:00:28,331
See, I remembered
13
00:00:28,333 --> 00:00:30,066
because if it looks
like Kim it's Kim,
14
00:00:30,068 --> 00:00:31,634
if it looks kind of
like Kim it's Kourtney,
15
00:00:31,636 --> 00:00:33,336
and if it looks nothing
like Kim it's Khloe.
16
00:00:33,338 --> 00:00:34,537
Oh.
17
00:00:34,539 --> 00:00:35,738
Oh,
18
00:00:35,740 --> 00:00:37,774
that's a Venn Diagram,
and I remember because
19
00:00:37,776 --> 00:00:39,108
I thought to myself,
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00:00:39,110 --> 00:00:41,110
“Venn is he gonna stop
talking about this diagram?”
21
00:00:43,181 --> 00:00:44,781
What are you guys doing?
Oh, well,
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00:00:44,783 --> 00:00:46,683
we decided to use
our breakfast time
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00:00:46,685 --> 00:00:49,319
to expand our respective
knowledge bases.
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00:00:49,321 --> 00:00:50,553
Oh, let me try.
25
00:00:50,555 --> 00:00:52,622
Okay.
26
00:00:52,624 --> 00:00:56,292
Hmm, atom of hydrogen,
Adam of Maroon 5, mic drop.
27
00:00:59,197 --> 00:01:01,297
I'm sorry,
who is Mike Drop?
28
00:01:01,299 --> 00:01:02,598
(chuckles)
29
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,801
Oh, hey, Penny, do you want
to go to the airport
30
00:01:04,803 --> 00:01:06,135
with me later
to pick up my mother?
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00:01:06,137 --> 00:01:07,170
Sure.
Thanks.
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00:01:07,172 --> 00:01:08,604
No problem.
Hey, Penny,
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00:01:08,606 --> 00:01:10,273
um, since you're already
gonna be at the airport,
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00:01:10,275 --> 00:01:11,441
do I need to go?
35
00:01:12,811 --> 00:01:15,311
Why don't you want to get
your mother from the airport?
36
00:01:15,313 --> 00:01:17,180
Well, I can do without
the 40-minute car ride
37
00:01:17,182 --> 00:01:19,282
where she criticizes
every aspect of my life.
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00:01:19,284 --> 00:01:22,785
She can cover it
in a car ride?
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00:01:22,787 --> 00:01:25,688
I could do 40 minutes
on your posture alone.
40
00:01:26,624 --> 00:01:27,890
You really want me to pick up
41
00:01:27,892 --> 00:01:28,891
your mother all by myself?
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00:01:28,893 --> 00:01:30,626
Hmm, I just feel like
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00:01:30,628 --> 00:01:32,362
it would be a good chance
for you to bond.
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00:01:32,364 --> 00:01:33,963
Or a way for you to avoid her?
45
00:01:33,965 --> 00:01:36,265
I don't know what
he's putting on those cards,
46
00:01:36,267 --> 00:01:38,568
but you are smarter than ever.
47
00:01:38,570 --> 00:01:41,738
Fine, if you really want me to,
I will pick your mom up.
48
00:01:41,740 --> 00:01:42,839
Seriously?
49
00:01:42,841 --> 00:01:44,440
Yeah, you know what,
she is my mother-in-law,
50
00:01:44,442 --> 00:01:46,509
and I'd like for us
to have a good relationship.
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00:01:46,511 --> 00:01:48,444
That is very mature of you,
52
00:01:48,446 --> 00:01:51,280
so I'm gonna go ahead
and say, “Suckah.”
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00:01:51,282 --> 00:01:54,050
All right, back to learning.
Okay.
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(clears throat)
55
00:01:55,653 --> 00:01:57,720
Oh, easy, Bill Nye
the Science Guy.
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00:01:57,722 --> 00:01:58,955
Or as I know him...
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00:01:58,957 --> 00:02:01,624
“Creepy old dude
from Dancing with the Stars.”
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00:02:01,626 --> 00:02:03,092
Ding, ding, ding,
ding, ding!
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00:02:03,094 --> 00:02:06,729
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
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00:02:06,731 --> 00:02:10,066
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
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00:02:10,068 --> 00:02:11,701
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
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00:02:11,703 --> 00:02:14,237
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
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00:02:14,239 --> 00:02:16,906
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
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00:02:16,908 --> 00:02:19,575
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
65
00:02:19,577 --> 00:02:21,477
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
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00:02:21,479 --> 00:02:23,446
♪ Bang! ♪
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00:02:23,470 --> 00:02:27,470
♪ The Big Bang Theory 9x23 ♪
The Line Substitution Solution
Original Air Date on May 5, 2016
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00:02:27,471 --> 00:02:32,071
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
69
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Did you guys see there's
an Avengers screening?
70
00:02:35,110 --> 00:02:36,931
Joss Whedon's gonna show
some deleted scenes
71
00:02:36,932 --> 00:02:38,698
and do a question
and answer session.
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00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:40,633
Oh, well, I have
a few questions for him
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00:02:40,635 --> 00:02:44,337
about the last Avengers movie...
and a whole lot of answers.
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00:02:44,339 --> 00:02:47,040
When's the screening?
75
00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:49,042
Uh, it's tonight, but it's
first-come, first-served,
76
00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:51,010
so we should probably get
there early and wait in line.
77
00:02:51,012 --> 00:02:52,979
Let's do it. (chuckles)
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00:02:52,981 --> 00:02:54,547
Penny's busy with my mother,
so I'm in.
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00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:56,182
Oh, bad news.
80
00:02:56,184 --> 00:02:58,251
Amy's making me go shopping
with her later,
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00:02:58,253 --> 00:03:00,653
so looks like none of us can go.
82
00:03:02,491 --> 00:03:05,792
You do realize we're allowed
to have fun without you?
83
00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:08,361
In fact, that's usually
the trick to it.
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00:03:10,031 --> 00:03:11,798
What time do we
need to get there?
85
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,399
Uh, I'd say by 3:00.
86
00:03:13,401 --> 00:03:15,201
You're really going without me?
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00:03:15,203 --> 00:03:16,202
It's not a big deal.
88
00:03:16,204 --> 00:03:17,504
Go shopping with Amy,
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00:03:17,506 --> 00:03:18,905
and we'll save
a spot in line for you.
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00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:21,975
You don't have the authority
to save places in the line.
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00:03:21,977 --> 00:03:23,276
If I do that, I'll be cutting.
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00:03:23,278 --> 00:03:25,111
People do it all the time.
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00:03:25,113 --> 00:03:26,679
You know the golden rule
of line etiquette:
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00:03:26,681 --> 00:03:29,149
“No cuts, no buts,
no coconuts.”
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00:03:29,151 --> 00:03:31,151
If you really
care that much,
96
00:03:31,153 --> 00:03:33,853
there are apps now that'll let
you hire people to do stuff
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00:03:33,855 --> 00:03:36,022
like errands and
wait in lines.
98
00:03:36,024 --> 00:03:39,192
People are actually
waiting in lines as a job?
99
00:03:39,194 --> 00:03:43,596
Boy, makes me feel better
about my life.
100
00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:45,598
Some of these guys make
over $20 an hour.
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00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,901
And now I feel worse again.
102
00:03:50,172 --> 00:03:53,506
I'm not surprised Leonard
chose to avoid picking me up.
103
00:03:53,508 --> 00:03:57,510
He's battled intimacy issues
his whole life.
104
00:03:57,512 --> 00:04:01,047
Does he have difficulty
maintaining erections?
105
00:04:01,049 --> 00:04:03,383
Wow.
(clears throat)
106
00:04:03,385 --> 00:04:05,351
Didn't even make it
out of the parking lot.
107
00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:07,854
Uh, you know what,
enough about Leonard.
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00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:09,122
Let's talk about you.
109
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:10,890
What would you like to
do while you're here?
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00:04:10,892 --> 00:04:12,792
Dear, I'm a psychiatrist.
111
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:15,795
You don't have to avoid having
intimate conversations with me.
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00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:19,199
Well, I'd actually like
for us to be close,
113
00:04:19,201 --> 00:04:21,167
but maybe we start
with our favorite books
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00:04:21,169 --> 00:04:23,770
and work our way up
to my husband's sex organs.
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00:04:25,674 --> 00:04:26,973
Very well.
116
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:28,141
What's the last book
you read?
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00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:31,845
Um, does Pottery Barn,
Spring count?
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00:04:33,949 --> 00:04:36,916
Penny, it's only natural to want
your mother-in-law to like you,
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00:04:36,918 --> 00:04:40,086
and I acknowledge I can be
an intimidating person.
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00:04:40,088 --> 00:04:43,823
So what can I do to make
this process easier for you?
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00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:45,124
Uh, for starters,
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00:04:45,126 --> 00:04:47,260
maybe you can not psychoanalyze
everything I say?
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00:04:47,262 --> 00:04:49,596
And how does it
make you feel
124
00:04:49,598 --> 00:04:52,665
when I psychoanalyze
everything you say?
125
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:55,034
Uncomfortable.
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00:04:55,036 --> 00:04:56,302
That was a joke, dear.
127
00:04:56,304 --> 00:04:57,871
Oh. Sorry.
128
00:04:57,873 --> 00:04:59,672
(chuckles)
Didn't know you made those.
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00:05:01,376 --> 00:05:03,109
Hey, listen, what
if we have a little
130
00:05:03,111 --> 00:05:06,112
mother-in-law-daughter-in-law
dinner tonight?
131
00:05:06,114 --> 00:05:08,147
So just the two of us?
132
00:05:08,149 --> 00:05:10,683
Or I invite a few girlfriends,
133
00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:12,085
'cause hearing you say
“the two of us”
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00:05:12,087 --> 00:05:14,354
just sent a chill
right down my spine.
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00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:18,858
(car door opens)
136
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,860
Hey.
137
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,295
What are you doing here?
138
00:05:22,297 --> 00:05:23,296
You're not Sheldon.
139
00:05:23,298 --> 00:05:26,165
I thought that might come up.
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00:05:27,302 --> 00:05:29,302
Sheldon hired me to go
shopping with you.
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00:05:29,304 --> 00:05:31,204
Hold on.
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00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:34,240
He paid you to get out
of spending time with me?
143
00:05:34,242 --> 00:05:36,542
No, it's not like that.
144
00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:39,312
There's a long line
he'd rather stand in.
145
00:05:40,949 --> 00:05:42,649
So what are we doing?
Old Navy, Build-A-Bear?
146
00:05:42,651 --> 00:05:44,250
I get paid either way.
147
00:05:46,321 --> 00:05:48,354
We're not going
shopping together.
148
00:05:48,356 --> 00:05:50,356
You sure?
I'm happy to hold your bag.
149
00:05:50,358 --> 00:05:53,293
And Sheldon gave me money
for a hotdog on a stick.
150
00:05:54,829 --> 00:05:57,230
Can you understand why
I might be annoyed right now?
151
00:05:57,232 --> 00:06:01,234
(chuckles) Look, lady,
I just work here.
152
00:06:03,705 --> 00:06:07,540
We've waited in a lot of
lines together, haven't we?
153
00:06:07,542 --> 00:06:09,108
Remember when we camped out
154
00:06:09,110 --> 00:06:10,777
for the Doctor Who panel
at Comic-Con?
155
00:06:10,779 --> 00:06:12,779
Yeah, sleeping under the
stars with other fans
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00:06:12,781 --> 00:06:14,480
who love the show
as much as we do.
157
00:06:14,482 --> 00:06:17,717
Waking up, wondering which one
of those fans stole our wallets.
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00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:21,454
SHELDON: Stuart,
what are you doing here?
159
00:06:21,456 --> 00:06:23,423
Sheldon, you are the most
inconsiderate person
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00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:26,326
I have ever met
in my entire life!
161
00:06:27,529 --> 00:06:29,028
Where do you get off sending me
162
00:06:29,030 --> 00:06:31,230
to shop with your girlfriend?!
163
00:06:31,232 --> 00:06:32,532
I don't understand.
164
00:06:32,534 --> 00:06:34,033
You were happy to do this
when I hired you.
165
00:06:34,035 --> 00:06:35,635
Why-why are you
upset with me now?
166
00:06:35,637 --> 00:06:38,972
Oh, I'm not upset with you, but
Amy's pretty bent out of shape,
167
00:06:38,974 --> 00:06:43,276
so she hired me
to let you have it.
168
00:06:44,879 --> 00:06:47,046
Well, I suppose
turnabout is fair play.
169
00:06:47,048 --> 00:06:49,983
You're darn right it's fair
play, you selfish jerk!
170
00:06:54,089 --> 00:06:55,355
You know, just when I think
171
00:06:55,357 --> 00:06:56,889
we're making progress
in our relationship,
172
00:06:56,891 --> 00:06:58,524
we revert to our old patterns
173
00:06:58,526 --> 00:07:00,226
where thoughts and feelings
go unexpressed.
174
00:07:00,228 --> 00:07:01,894
I mean, if he didn't want
to go shopping with me,
175
00:07:01,896 --> 00:07:03,363
why didn't he just say so?
176
00:07:03,365 --> 00:07:07,266
Maybe he couldn't get
a word in edgewise.
177
00:07:09,904 --> 00:07:11,938
I'm sorry, I've been
going on and on.
178
00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:13,573
Oh, it's all right, dear.
179
00:07:13,575 --> 00:07:16,542
Sheldon has a brilliant
and complicated mind.
180
00:07:16,544 --> 00:07:19,579
It's understandable that being
in a relationship with him
181
00:07:19,581 --> 00:07:20,813
could be trying.
182
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,248
I called him “babe” once.
183
00:07:22,250 --> 00:07:25,051
He asked me to get a drug test.
184
00:07:26,621 --> 00:07:28,521
Well, I do admire your resolve.
185
00:07:28,523 --> 00:07:31,157
You're an extraordinary woman.
Thank you.
186
00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:33,526
You know, she's
my mother-in-law.
187
00:07:33,528 --> 00:07:35,261
Why can't I bond
with her like that?
188
00:07:35,263 --> 00:07:38,664
Amy's with Sheldon
who she loves like a son.
189
00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:40,500
You're with her son...
190
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:43,269
who she doesn't.
191
00:07:43,271 --> 00:07:46,305
Do you realize it took me five
years to get a massage from him?
192
00:07:46,307 --> 00:07:49,976
Oh, well, that still could be
a big step for Sheldon.
193
00:07:49,978 --> 00:07:51,978
Three minutes.
194
00:07:51,980 --> 00:07:54,981
And he used a kitchen timer.
195
00:07:54,983 --> 00:07:57,417
I felt like a soft-boiled egg.
196
00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:00,920
You know, being in a
relationship with Leonard
197
00:08:00,922 --> 00:08:03,056
also comes
with its challenges.
198
00:08:03,058 --> 00:08:04,390
Yes.
199
00:08:04,392 --> 00:08:07,760
Well, what can you do?
200
00:08:07,762 --> 00:08:09,729
(knocking on door)
201
00:08:11,232 --> 00:08:13,299
Maybe it's Sheldon,
here to say he's sorry.
202
00:08:13,301 --> 00:08:16,135
Sheldon says he's sorry.
203
00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:21,374
Bernadette, I'll give you
five dollars to slam the door.
204
00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:22,975
I would have done
it for three.
205
00:08:32,792 --> 00:08:35,426
Boy, all this standing's
making me tired.
206
00:08:35,428 --> 00:08:39,296
Good thing I brought
my collapsible stick chair.
207
00:08:39,298 --> 00:08:41,899
Not the stick chair.
208
00:08:41,901 --> 00:08:43,667
You look like an idiot
on that thing.
209
00:08:43,669 --> 00:08:46,036
Sticks and stones
may break my bones,
210
00:08:46,038 --> 00:08:48,939
but chairs on sticks
are comfy.
211
00:08:49,809 --> 00:08:51,542
Hey.
Hey.
212
00:08:51,544 --> 00:08:53,711
Is everything
smoothed out with Amy?
213
00:08:53,713 --> 00:08:55,579
Uh, no, she's still pretty mad.
214
00:08:55,581 --> 00:08:58,916
Did you make the apology
as sincere as I would have?
215
00:08:58,918 --> 00:09:01,552
I said,
“Sheldon says he's sorry.”
216
00:09:01,554 --> 00:09:04,455
Oh, well, that's
laying it on a little thick.
217
00:09:06,392 --> 00:09:09,126
You think it's time you
apologize to her yourself?
218
00:09:09,128 --> 00:09:10,694
(sighs)
I suppose so.
219
00:09:10,696 --> 00:09:12,585
But if I get out of the line,
I'll lose my spot.
220
00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:15,186
I'm happy to hold your place
till you get back.
221
00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:16,488
You would do that?
222
00:09:16,490 --> 00:09:18,857
Consider it my way
of getting more of your money.
223
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:22,727
You're a good man.
224
00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:25,497
So, Beverly,
did you know Penny
225
00:09:25,499 --> 00:09:27,165
is the number
three sales rep
226
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:28,767
at our pharmaceutical company?
227
00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:30,802
Oh, I didn't realize
you two work together.
228
00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:32,137
Well, we don't exactly.
229
00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:34,272
I'm a microbiologist
for the research team.
230
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:35,774
Oh, what are you
currently developing?
231
00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:37,809
Some exciting new
anti-anxiety drugs.
232
00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:39,110
That's interesting.
233
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:42,213
I just attended a lecture
on pediatric anxiety.
234
00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:44,716
Oh, was it, uh,
Dr. Jenofski?
235
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:45,784
I just saw
his TED Talk!
236
00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:47,018
BEVERLY:
It was.
237
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,653
Let's get back to Penny.
238
00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:49,954
Hey, weren't you telling me
239
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:51,489
something great
about your company car?
240
00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:52,957
Um...
241
00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:55,026
(clears her throat)
242
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:58,663
It has seat warmers.
243
00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:00,799
(knocking at door)
244
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,600
SHELDON:
Amy! Amy!
245
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,302
Amy!
Come in.
246
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:05,937
Hello, everyone.
247
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,339
Oh, Beverly, good to see you!
248
00:10:07,341 --> 00:10:09,107
I'd love to chat,
but there's a line
249
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,975
that could start moving
any minute, so let's do this.
250
00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:12,110
Amy?
251
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,045
A proper apology
requires three steps.
252
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:16,247
Step one--
an admission of wrongdoing.
253
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,183
Amy, I was wrong.
Step two--
254
00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:20,318
a promise never
to repeat said action.
255
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:23,021
Amy, that action will never be
repeated, and that's a promise.
256
00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:25,523
Step three-- an earnest request
for forgiveness.
257
00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:26,791
Amy, I hope you can forgive me.
258
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,059
And I hope you
do it right now,
259
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:29,427
'cause there's an Uber
waiting downstairs,
260
00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:31,062
and I don't want to repeat
this apology nonsense
261
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:33,198
with my driver Ganesh.
262
00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:36,735
Fine.
263
00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:38,336
Oh, thanks!
You're a peach!
264
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:39,537
Beverly, we'll
catch up soon.
265
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:40,839
Bernadette, it was
a pleasure as always,
266
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:42,407
Penny, you have
spinach in your teeth.
267
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:44,442
(door closes)
268
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:47,746
How long have I had spinach
in my teeth?
269
00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:49,214
Since the airport, dear.
270
00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:56,254
You look like you come
with a kickstand.
271
00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:58,556
You can't make me feel bad.
272
00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:00,859
Hmm, maybe not. Leonard?
273
00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:03,728
So, when the aliens
brought you back,
274
00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:06,097
they just left the probe in?
275
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:09,000
I'm back.
276
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,969
Hey, how'd it go?
It went well.
277
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:12,804
Yeah, I've learned that
if you never say you're sorry,
278
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:16,408
the times you do really
puts them on their heels.
279
00:11:16,410 --> 00:11:18,977
Uh, Stuart, I relieve you
of your line duties.
280
00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:21,279
Anyone else need
anything before I go?
281
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:24,282
I'll give you a dollar
if make fun of Raj.
282
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:26,751
That's mean.
Five.
283
00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:29,320
You look like Tigger
if Tigger looked like a jackass.
284
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,391
Uh, if you ever need
a reference or anything,
285
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:35,460
just let me know.
286
00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:37,061
Hey, guys.
287
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:38,263
WOMAN:
You made it.
288
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:40,465
Did you see that?
289
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,634
He just cut the line.
290
00:11:42,636 --> 00:11:44,235
He's just joining
his friends; it's fine.
291
00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:45,804
(stammers)
No, it's not fine.
292
00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:48,106
It is a breach
of line etiquette.
293
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:49,574
We're near the front
of the line.
294
00:11:49,576 --> 00:11:50,975
We'll get in either way.
295
00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:52,877
What if every person in front
of us lets someone cut?
296
00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:53,417
We'd still get in.
297
00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:55,380
What if each of those people
let someone cut?
298
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:56,065
Still get in.
299
00:11:56,089 --> 00:11:57,550
But then each of those
people let someone cut?
300
00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:59,484
We'd still get in,
but first I'd hit you
301
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,786
over the head
with his stick chair.
302
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,490
Excuse me.
Oh, please don't.
303
00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:07,725
Uh, uh, I couldn't
help but notice
304
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,461
that you cut the line.
305
00:12:09,463 --> 00:12:10,728
Oh, uh, I'm with my friends.
306
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:11,729
It's cool.
307
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:12,931
Well, no.
308
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:14,466
It's not cool.
309
00:12:14,468 --> 00:12:16,801
If there were
reserved seating,
310
00:12:16,803 --> 00:12:18,703
and we all had tickets,
that would be fine.
311
00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:20,138
But this line is
first-come, first-served.
312
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:22,540
Not “show up tardy and
nevertheless be first served”.
313
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:23,808
Right here.
314
00:12:23,810 --> 00:12:26,010
No.
315
00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:29,414
You need to go to
the back of the line.
316
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:32,250
(scoffs)
Uh, who made you line monitor?
317
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:35,220
Mrs. Wunch in fourth grade.
318
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:37,889
And my slogan was
“a line that's straight
319
00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:40,058
is a line that's great”"
320
00:12:41,228 --> 00:12:42,794
Is this guy for real?
321
00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:46,464
Boy, I wish
I could say no.
322
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:50,502
That was very nice
of Sheldon to apologize.
323
00:12:50,504 --> 00:12:52,604
Well, he's come a long way.
324
00:12:52,606 --> 00:12:55,206
Or a short way very slowly,
325
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:58,643
so it feels like a long way.
326
00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:01,346
Your relationship
with him is fascinating.
327
00:13:01,348 --> 00:13:04,282
I'm preparing to write a book
on high-achieving couples,
328
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,217
and I would love to
interview the both of you.
329
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:07,619
Oh, sure.
330
00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:09,420
I'll-I'll talk
to Sheldon about it.
331
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:11,489
You know, Bernadette's husband
is a former astronaut.
332
00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:13,258
Really?
333
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:14,359
Do you think
he would be interested
334
00:13:14,361 --> 00:13:15,593
in being interviewed
as well?
335
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:17,128
Do I think he'd be interested?
336
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,030
Sometimes I hear him
pretending to be interviewed
337
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:20,999
when he's alone
in the bathroom.
338
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:23,001
Wonderful!
339
00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:25,270
I'll give you
my contact information.
340
00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:29,474
Um, you should probably
talk to Penny, too.
341
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:32,744
About what?
342
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:34,712
Okay, you know what?
343
00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:36,314
This is ridiculous.
344
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,448
I've been trying to make
345
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:38,583
a connection with you all day,
346
00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:39,851
and clearly I'm getting nowhere.
347
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:41,953
Well, are you
seeking a connection
348
00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:44,589
or just some form of validation?
349
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:47,225
What I was seeking was
some sort of friendship.
350
00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:49,794
But at this point, I'll take you
not insulting me to my face.
351
00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:52,130
My intention was never
to insult you.
352
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:53,498
You've been doing it all day!
353
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,199
Do you even know
what an insult is?!
354
00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:57,168
Well, it's not a clinical term.
355
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,871
But one example would be
your marrying my son,
356
00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:01,573
and not inviting me
or even telling me
357
00:14:01,575 --> 00:14:03,374
the wedding was taking place.
358
00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:08,379
Okay, good example.
359
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,986
What about Joss Whedon's work
makes you think he'd be okay
360
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:17,021
with rule-breakers
and line-cutters?!
361
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:18,823
The Avengers are rule-breakers!
362
00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:21,893
Being vengeful is in
their job description!
363
00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:24,662
They work for SHIELD,
364
00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:26,898
which is a sanctioned department
of the U.S. Government!
365
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:28,566
Do you work for a
sanctioned department
366
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:30,301
of the U.S. Government?
367
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:31,736
As a matter of fact I do.
368
00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:35,340
At a little place
called the DMV.
369
00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:37,875
He's got him there.
370
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:41,479
The D even stands
for department.
371
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:42,680
Excuse me!
372
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:43,781
Excuse me,
can I please
373
00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,183
see a show of hands?
374
00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:47,819
Who here takes issue with
this person cutting the line?
375
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:52,056
Told you.
376
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:54,325
Well, what a sad
state of affairs!
377
00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:56,194
That you've all been
so ground down
378
00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:58,830
by life, you don't even notice
when someone disrespects you.
379
00:14:58,832 --> 00:15:00,465
I can't believe
we're gonna get beat up,
380
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:04,035
and it's not
because of your chair.
381
00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:06,337
You know, right now,
at the back of this line,
382
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:08,006
there's a movie fan
like you
383
00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:09,440
who's not going to get in,
384
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:11,809
because this person
simply doesn't care.
385
00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:13,277
Yeah, well, 61 years ago,
386
00:15:13,279 --> 00:15:15,413
there was another person
at the back of the line
387
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,715
and her name
was Rosa Parks.
388
00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:23,021
Okay, you may have
to pretend you're black
389
00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:26,257
to get us out of here.
390
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,726
Now, let's follow in that
brave woman's footsteps,
391
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:31,029
and stand up for ourselves!
392
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:33,531
And-and I realize that she
stood up by remaining seated,
393
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:35,867
but now is not that time
to enjoy the irony of that.
394
00:15:35,869 --> 00:15:37,435
Now, I ask you again.
395
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,604
Who here takes issue
with this person--?
396
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,739
Why should we listen to you?
You cut the line yourself.
397
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:44,042
I most certainly did not.
398
00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:45,810
I saw you.
399
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:48,146
If you're feeling dizzy,
400
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:50,848
it's because the tables
have turned.
401
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:56,020
Excuse me, I paid someone
to wait in line for me,
402
00:15:56,022 --> 00:15:57,689
and then
when I arrived,
403
00:15:57,691 --> 00:15:59,490
he left, so what you
saw, my good woman,
404
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:02,026
was “swapsies”,
not “cutsies”.
405
00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:03,361
Oh, no, no, no, no, wait!
406
00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:04,829
I ask you all again.
A show of hands.
407
00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:06,698
Who here takes issue--?
Well, stop moving!
408
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:07,665
He's gonna get in!
409
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:08,933
Buddy, let it go.
No, I can't.
410
00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:10,068
This isn't right.
411
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:11,135
You did everything you could.
412
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:13,705
No, I could've done more.
413
00:16:13,707 --> 00:16:16,207
Now, now, you
denigrated the memory
414
00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:17,875
of a great civil
rights pioneer.
415
00:16:17,877 --> 00:16:19,310
That's all anyone could ask.
416
00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:26,350
To be honest, I'm surprised you
cared about the wedding at all.
417
00:16:26,352 --> 00:16:28,286
I'm still human, Penny.
418
00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:30,254
Not getting invited
to my own son's wedding
419
00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:32,190
is difficult to ignore.
420
00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:33,591
AMY:
I know how you feel.
421
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,493
She didn't invite any of us.
422
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,195
It was spur of the moment!
423
00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:40,064
But we did get to see a live
stream of it on the Internet.
424
00:16:40,066 --> 00:16:42,600
I could've watched it
on the Internet?
425
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:46,804
Thank you.
426
00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:50,641
So if we would have asked you
to come to Vegas
427
00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:53,010
to see us get married,
you would've come?
428
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,980
No, I would've said
you're making a huge mistake.
429
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:58,916
But an invitation
would've been nice.
430
00:16:58,918 --> 00:17:02,687
You really think
we made a mistake?
431
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,322
At the time I did.
432
00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:06,691
But I-I've never seen
Leonard so happy,
433
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,460
so... perhaps I was wrong.
434
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,562
Wow.
435
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:13,564
Okay.
436
00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:15,466
Well, um, how about this?
437
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:16,968
Maybe while
you're still in town,
438
00:17:16,970 --> 00:17:19,871
Leonard and I could have
another small ceremony.
439
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:22,106
You know, if you're interested.
440
00:17:22,108 --> 00:17:25,710
I would find that
perfectly acceptable.
441
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,612
(gasps) She would find it
442
00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:29,013
perfectly acceptable!
443
00:17:29,015 --> 00:17:31,215
You guys saw it! We bonded!
444
00:17:42,838 --> 00:17:44,104
Howie?
445
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:46,139
You doing okay?
You've been in there a while.
446
00:17:46,141 --> 00:17:48,375
WOLOWITZ: (stammers)
I'm fine. Be right out.
447
00:17:50,512 --> 00:17:53,480
Am I an American hero?
(chuckles)
448
00:17:55,050 --> 00:17:57,884
Well, that's
a good question, Jim.
449
00:17:57,886 --> 00:18:01,788
Don't you think once
an astronaut leaves the planet,
450
00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:05,158
he's a hero to all the nations
of the Earth?
451
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:08,628
(toilet flushes)
452
00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:10,330
Okey dokey.
453
00:18:10,332 --> 00:18:11,973
I think I have time
for one more question.
454
00:18:13,535 --> 00:18:20,035
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man