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English (HI) Subtitles.
The Big Bang Theory S09E22 [KoTuWa]
The Fermentation Bifurcation
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00:00:02,342 --> 00:00:04,542
Oh, hey, if you guys
are free this weekend,
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00:00:04,544 --> 00:00:06,378
I won a night of
wine tasting from work.
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00:00:06,380 --> 00:00:07,879
That sounds fun.
Mm-hmm.
5
00:00:07,881 --> 00:00:11,282
How come scientists don't win
free stuff like salespeople do?
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00:00:11,284 --> 00:00:12,951
'Cause we're not in it
for the stuff.
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00:00:12,953 --> 00:00:15,654
We're in it
for the groupies.
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00:00:15,656 --> 00:00:16,921
SHELDON:
Personally,
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00:00:16,923 --> 00:00:19,724
I find the notion of
external rewards demeaning.
10
00:00:19,726 --> 00:00:23,028
I pursue science for the
intrinsic joy of discovery.
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00:00:23,030 --> 00:00:25,930
But you always say that
you want to win a Nobel Prize.
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00:00:25,932 --> 00:00:28,400
I also say don't contradict
me in front of my friends,
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00:00:28,402 --> 00:00:29,668
but that you
don't remember.
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00:00:29,670 --> 00:00:32,737
All right, well, let me know
if you guys want to go.
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00:00:32,739 --> 00:00:33,938
I would love to.
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00:00:33,940 --> 00:00:37,075
I do enjoy the complexity
of an aged Pinot noir.
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I'm sure that would pair nicely
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with your fried nuggets
of chicken.
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Well, it sounds like
a nice night. We should go.
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Wine again?
21
00:00:45,252 --> 00:00:46,484
Yeah, no, thank you.
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I like my grapes
the old-fashioned way:
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00:00:48,388 --> 00:00:50,722
in a juice box.
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00:00:50,724 --> 00:00:52,090
Well, I'm going.
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00:00:52,092 --> 00:00:54,092
You couldn't stop me from
getting a massage at the mall,
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00:00:54,094 --> 00:00:55,760
and you're not stopping me now.
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00:00:55,762 --> 00:00:57,529
I shouldn't have to
see my girlfriend
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00:00:57,531 --> 00:00:59,364
get groped in public
by another man.
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00:00:59,366 --> 00:01:01,933
And I shouldn't
have to see my boyfriend
30
00:01:01,935 --> 00:01:04,569
riding on a train for children
around the mall.
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00:01:06,173 --> 00:01:08,173
The little choo-choo
for toddlers?
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00:01:08,175 --> 00:01:10,241
And now you know why
I needed the massage.
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00:01:11,812 --> 00:01:13,011
Well, we're out.
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Bernie can't drink
'cause she's pregnant.
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And she's pregnant
because we had sex.
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And we had sex because...
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(laughs):
well, come on.
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It's okay.
You should go.
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You sure?
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Of course.
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Yeah, give her a break from,
“Well, come on.”
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Well, Bernadette, looks like
Saturday night, it's you and me.
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Me? How? Why?
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Well, it makes perfect sense.
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Because you're an expectant
mother, you can't drink alcohol.
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I don't like to.
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You can't have sushi.
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I don't like to.
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00:01:44,377 --> 00:01:46,010
You can't go in hot tubs.
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I consider them
vats of sweaty people soup.
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Gee, Sheldon, I don't know.
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Oh, come on.
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Roller coasters, caffeine,
runny eggs--
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I've been avoiding these things
all my life.
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And now, because you're
pregnant, you have to.
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The difference is she's
bringing life into the world,
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and you suck it out.
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00:02:05,966 --> 00:02:07,932
I guess we could give it a try.
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Well, little lady,
you've heard of party hearty;
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get ready to party hardly.
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I bet you'd like
a drink right now.
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♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
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00:02:22,249 --> 00:02:25,717
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
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00:02:25,719 --> 00:02:27,252
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
65
00:02:27,254 --> 00:02:30,221
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
66
00:02:30,223 --> 00:02:32,490
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
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00:02:32,492 --> 00:02:35,226
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
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00:02:35,228 --> 00:02:37,128
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
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♪ Bang! ♪
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♪ The Big Bang Theory 9x22 ♪
The Fermentation Bifurcation
Original Air Date on April 28, 2016
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== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
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Hey, you think
it'd be okay
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if I brought Claire
to the wine tasting?
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00:02:51,506 --> 00:02:53,305
Sure. I'd like to meet her.
Oh, that's great.
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00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:54,974
I've been wanting her
to meet you guys, too,
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00:02:54,976 --> 00:02:56,609
so this seems like
the perfect opportunity.
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Oh, but I won't be there.
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00:02:58,112 --> 00:02:59,445
Funny how that worked out.
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00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,449
Does this mean Emily's not
in the picture anymore?
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00:03:03,451 --> 00:03:04,517
No, I'm still dating her.
81
00:03:04,519 --> 00:03:05,685
Okay, help me out.
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00:03:05,687 --> 00:03:07,019
How are you doing this?
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00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:08,854
Do they know about each other?
84
00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:10,589
They know that
we're not exclusive,
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and we just don't ask
too many questions.
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00:03:12,727 --> 00:03:15,361
You know, it's like how I play
Warlords of Ka'a with you
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00:03:15,363 --> 00:03:19,131
and Elder Sign with
Frank and Alicia.
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Who's Frank and Alicia?
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00:03:21,703 --> 00:03:24,136
Y... You and I spend
a lot of time together.
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Can there be a little
mystery between us?
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WOLOWITZ:
Okay.
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Everything's hooked up.
We're ready.
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I am going to record
this for posterity.
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All right, here goes nothing.
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Here goes nothing?
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00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:37,917
This is the initial test
of our prototype.
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00:03:37,919 --> 00:03:39,518
Can we give it
a little more gravitas?
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00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:40,686
LEONARD:
Fine.
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00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:43,489
Preliminary trial
of the infinite persistence
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gyroscopic navigational system:
phase one commencing.
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00:03:46,561 --> 00:03:47,927
Eh... maybe it's your voice.
102
00:03:47,929 --> 00:03:50,763
I'm gonna see if I can get James
Earl Jones to do it in post.
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(chuckles)
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00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:56,969
Ooh.
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Wow.
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00:04:00,475 --> 00:04:03,109
It's... it's-it's beautiful.
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00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:07,346
Actually,
it's making me dizzy.
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Good, it's not just me.
(chuckles)
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CLAIRE:
Hello.
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Hey, Claire.
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Hey, what's up?
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Hi, yeah.
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Um, I was wondering,
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00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,795
if you're free Saturday night,
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all my friends are
going to a wine tasting.
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00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:27,500
Sure, I guess.
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If you don't think meeting
your friends is too big a step.
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Why would it be too big a step?
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00:04:32,707 --> 00:04:35,875
I don't know. I just don't
want things to get weird.
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Nothing to worry about.
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00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:40,379
People meet people all the time,
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00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:41,847
and it isn't weird.
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00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:44,383
I met Bon Jovi once, which
you'd think might be weird.
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Turns out, total sweetheart.
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00:04:47,355 --> 00:04:51,524
Okay, but you and I have been
keeping things casual.
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Uh, will you introduce me
as your friend
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or as your girlfriend?
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What if I like them
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and they don't like me?
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00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:59,532
What if they like me
and I don't like them?
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00:04:59,534 --> 00:05:02,368
Boy, it wasn't this hard
with Bon Jovi.
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00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:04,403
I said, “You rock,”
he said, “Thanks, man,”
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and that was that.
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00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:10,643
(sniffs)
135
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Hey, you ready to go?
136
00:05:16,017 --> 00:05:17,950
Hang on.
What are you doing?
137
00:05:17,952 --> 00:05:21,787
Oh, I found a scratch-and-sniff
book about wine tasting.
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00:05:22,824 --> 00:05:24,957
It teaches the different
flavor notes to look for.
139
00:05:24,959 --> 00:05:26,559
You actually smell the wine?
140
00:05:26,561 --> 00:05:29,128
I mostly just smell
my nasal spray.
141
00:05:29,130 --> 00:05:31,197
Are your sinuses acting up?
142
00:05:31,199 --> 00:05:32,898
Since my preschool got a bunny.
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Hey, are you still hanging out
with Bernadette tonight?
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Yes.
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00:05:37,271 --> 00:05:39,305
And we're going to prove
that we don't need alcohol
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00:05:39,307 --> 00:05:40,339
to enjoy ourselves.
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00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:41,674
Oh, good for you.
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00:05:41,676 --> 00:05:43,609
Or caffeine, tobacco, sushi,
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00:05:43,611 --> 00:05:46,278
soft cheese, processed meats
and Jacuzzis,
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00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:48,881
which can all be harmful
to an unborn baby.
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00:05:48,883 --> 00:05:52,351
No HoneyBaked Ham
in a hot tub-- got it.
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00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:53,686
Oh, no bubble baths either.
153
00:05:53,688 --> 00:05:55,821
They can increase the risk
of a urinary tract infection.
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00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:57,089
Okay, have fun.
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00:05:57,091 --> 00:05:59,992
Oh, and no swordfish, king
mackerel, shark or tilefish,
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00:05:59,994 --> 00:06:01,527
which are all high in mercury.
157
00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:02,661
We're leaving now!
158
00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:03,863
Oh, and no contact with
guinea pigs
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00:06:03,865 --> 00:06:05,164
or hamsters or their droppings,
160
00:06:05,166 --> 00:06:08,467
uh, no-no cat litter boxes,
no paint fumes...
161
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Okay, we're leaving,
love you, bye!
162
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Boy, do I love restrictions.
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00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:18,477
Hey.
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00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:19,511
Where is everybody?
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Oh, we're the first ones here.
166
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Oh.
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Cool.
168
00:06:25,019 --> 00:06:26,785
Yeah.
169
00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:28,220
Cool.
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00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:30,422
(mellow jazz music playing)
171
00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:36,028
You know, I don't
remember the last time
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00:06:36,030 --> 00:06:37,796
it was just you and me
hanging out.
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00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:40,766
Oh, I do.
It was three years ago.
174
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:44,203
Oh, yeah, and we said
we should do it more often.
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00:06:44,205 --> 00:06:46,939
(chuckles):
And-and here we are.
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00:06:54,649 --> 00:06:56,682
So, Sheldon and Bernadette
are hanging out.
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00:06:56,684 --> 00:07:00,052
I know. What are they
gonna talk about?
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00:07:00,054 --> 00:07:01,520
(laughs)
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00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:03,622
I don't know.
180
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:06,992
I really don't know.
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00:07:06,994 --> 00:07:07,927
Hey.
182
00:07:07,929 --> 00:07:09,495
Oh, good!
Oh, thank God!
183
00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:11,764
You guys been here long?
184
00:07:11,766 --> 00:07:12,798
No, two minutes.
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00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,601
But yes.
186
00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:16,635
Where's Claire?
187
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:18,070
Oh, she's meeting us here.
188
00:07:18,072 --> 00:07:20,339
Hey, guys, do me a favor
and don't ask too many questions
189
00:07:20,341 --> 00:07:21,307
about the relationship.
190
00:07:21,309 --> 00:07:22,875
We're just keeping it casual.
191
00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:25,611
Oh, so I shouldn't ask her
how she feels about being
192
00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:27,780
a member of your harem?
193
00:07:27,782 --> 00:07:30,849
Yeah, I know you're teasing,
but watch out for karma.
194
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:33,585
Hey, Penny, isn't that
your old boyfriend Zack?
195
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:35,654
Oh, yeah.
196
00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:37,122
Are you gonna
say hi to him?
197
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:38,257
Uh, I don't know.
198
00:07:38,259 --> 00:07:39,258
Hey, while you decide,
199
00:07:39,260 --> 00:07:40,526
who was better in bed:
200
00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:43,963
big hot Zack
or wheezy little Leonard?
201
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:49,101
Neener neener.
202
00:07:50,271 --> 00:07:51,870
I brought sparkling cider.
203
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:55,074
Oh... the bubbles
tickle my nose.
204
00:07:55,076 --> 00:07:57,509
I'll just open this now
so it can get
205
00:07:57,511 --> 00:08:00,112
nice and flat
before we drink it.
206
00:08:00,114 --> 00:08:02,114
So what do you want
to do tonight?
207
00:08:02,116 --> 00:08:04,350
Oh, I have quite
the evening planned.
208
00:08:04,352 --> 00:08:07,653
Our fetus-friendly
festival of fun begins
209
00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:08,954
with an in-depth look
210
00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:10,889
at the world of model trains,
211
00:08:10,891 --> 00:08:13,192
and then we'll kick things
up a notch and explore
212
00:08:13,194 --> 00:08:16,328
all the different ways
that you can make toast.
213
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:18,297
There's more than one?
214
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,133
You've heard of French toast?
Yeah.
215
00:08:21,135 --> 00:08:22,401
Cinnamon toast?
Yeah.
216
00:08:22,403 --> 00:08:23,635
Melba toast?
Yeah.
217
00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:25,871
You get where I'm going here?
218
00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:28,374
Yeah.
219
00:08:30,478 --> 00:08:33,312
I'm getting
an earthy note.
220
00:08:33,314 --> 00:08:35,247
Ah, there's
definitely some oak.
221
00:08:35,249 --> 00:08:37,516
Also, uh, cherries?
222
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:39,451
I smell nothing.
223
00:08:40,755 --> 00:08:43,022
Really? Nothing?
224
00:08:43,024 --> 00:08:46,625
Just a... whole lot of Afrin.
225
00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:48,360
Penny?
226
00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:49,595
Oh. Zack, hi!
227
00:08:49,597 --> 00:08:50,863
You guys remember Zack.
228
00:08:50,865 --> 00:08:51,997
Yeah, hey, buddy.
- Hello. - Hey.
229
00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:53,866
Hey, did you two
get married?
230
00:08:53,868 --> 00:08:55,167
We did.
Yeah, mm-hmm.
231
00:08:55,169 --> 00:08:57,403
To each other?
232
00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:00,105
Yes. (chuckles)
233
00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:02,307
Cool. 'Cause other than
when you broke up with him
234
00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:04,009
and dated me, then
broke up with me,
235
00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:06,945
and then dated me one more
time before going back to him,
236
00:09:06,947 --> 00:09:08,914
I was always rooting
for you two.
237
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,549
Thanks.
238
00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:12,051
So how's the
science world?
239
00:09:12,053 --> 00:09:13,485
What are you
guys up to?
240
00:09:13,487 --> 00:09:15,888
W-We've actually been
working on a prototype
241
00:09:15,890 --> 00:09:17,423
for a navigation
system we invented.
242
00:09:17,425 --> 00:09:19,224
But we won't bore you
with the details.
243
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,393
Are you kidding?
I love science.
244
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:24,997
Einstein, Stephen Hawking,
Mike deGrasse Tyson.
245
00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:28,000
Mike deGrasse Tyson?
246
00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:30,702
Yeah, you know,
the boxer who grew a mustache
247
00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:33,305
and became a scientist.
248
00:09:33,307 --> 00:09:34,573
So what's your
invention?
249
00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:37,776
Well, we're using
quantum vortices
250
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:39,978
to replace gyroscopes
in guidance systems.
251
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:41,680
What's neat is
that they can maintain
252
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:43,348
angular momentum indefinitely.
253
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,551
Angular momentum.
254
00:09:45,553 --> 00:09:48,020
I was wondering about that.
255
00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:51,790
You could put it in a
satellite or a rocket,
256
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:53,559
and it'll run forever.
257
00:09:53,561 --> 00:09:54,827
Cool.
258
00:09:54,829 --> 00:09:57,196
Could it be used for
missiles and war stuff?
259
00:09:57,198 --> 00:10:00,432
Yeah, but we didn't
create it for weapons.
260
00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:02,434
And I doubt the military
would be interested
261
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:03,802
in our little
guidance system.
262
00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:05,404
Is it better than
the one they use now?
263
00:10:05,406 --> 00:10:08,207
A lot!
Way better.
264
00:10:08,209 --> 00:10:09,942
Huh.
265
00:10:09,944 --> 00:10:12,478
You sure you guys are smart?
266
00:10:21,118 --> 00:10:24,586
“H-O” gauge trains
are 1/87 scale.
267
00:10:24,588 --> 00:10:27,789
“N” gauge are
1/160 scale.
268
00:10:27,791 --> 00:10:30,459
And that brings us
to “Z” gauge, at a
269
00:10:30,461 --> 00:10:35,264
“you could easily swallow it,
don't ask how I know,” 1/220.
270
00:10:35,266 --> 00:10:37,432
I'm sorry, I have to ask.
271
00:10:37,434 --> 00:10:40,569
When I was five, I ingested
a “Z” gauge locomotive.
272
00:10:40,571 --> 00:10:43,005
I spent the next three days
saying, “I think I can pass it,
273
00:10:43,007 --> 00:10:46,742
I think I can pass it,
I think I can pass it.”
274
00:10:48,212 --> 00:10:50,979
What is it about trains
that you like so much?
275
00:10:50,981 --> 00:10:53,148
What an interesting
question.
276
00:10:53,150 --> 00:10:56,118
When I was a child,
life was confusing
277
00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:59,121
and chaotic for me, and
trains represented order.
278
00:10:59,123 --> 00:11:03,158
I could line them up,
categorize them, control them.
279
00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:04,660
I guess you
could say that
280
00:11:04,662 --> 00:11:08,096
they gave me a sense of calm
in a world that didn't.
281
00:11:08,098 --> 00:11:10,165
That's lovely, Sheldon.
282
00:11:10,167 --> 00:11:12,868
Well... other than when they're
chugging through your bowels,
283
00:11:12,870 --> 00:11:14,703
these things are magic.
284
00:11:17,708 --> 00:11:19,675
I have to admit,
I've been worried about
285
00:11:19,677 --> 00:11:22,678
the military applications since
we started talking about this.
286
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:24,046
Me, too.
287
00:11:24,048 --> 00:11:25,380
Why didn't you
say something?
288
00:11:25,382 --> 00:11:27,816
Same reason I don't
talk about ass cancer.
289
00:11:27,818 --> 00:11:30,786
It's not a
pleasant topic.
290
00:11:30,788 --> 00:11:32,354
You can't let this stop you.
291
00:11:32,356 --> 00:11:34,389
Almost any scientific
advancement can be used
292
00:11:34,391 --> 00:11:36,091
for destructive purposes.
293
00:11:36,093 --> 00:11:38,126
It's true. Even Einstein's
theory of relativity
294
00:11:38,128 --> 00:11:40,796
was later applied to the
development of nuclear weapons.
295
00:11:40,798 --> 00:11:42,631
E equals MC squared.
296
00:11:42,633 --> 00:11:43,999
Yeah.
297
00:11:44,001 --> 00:11:45,334
“E” is for energy,
“M” for mass,
298
00:11:45,336 --> 00:11:46,768
and “C” for the speed of light.
299
00:11:46,770 --> 00:11:48,937
(clicks tongue)
300
00:11:48,939 --> 00:11:50,505
How do you know that?
301
00:11:50,507 --> 00:11:54,109
Oh, Leonard mumbles it when
he wants sex to last longer.
302
00:11:57,214 --> 00:11:58,180
Hey, Raj.
303
00:11:58,182 --> 00:12:00,248
Hey, Claire.
Good, you're here.
304
00:12:00,250 --> 00:12:02,117
Guys, this is
my friend Claire.
305
00:12:02,119 --> 00:12:04,319
We're casually dating,
and there's no need
306
00:12:04,321 --> 00:12:06,755
for any further questions
about it.
307
00:12:07,524 --> 00:12:09,825
Would you like
a glass of wine?
308
00:12:09,827 --> 00:12:11,593
I said no questions!
309
00:12:13,697 --> 00:12:15,931
SHELDON: And last
but not least,
310
00:12:15,933 --> 00:12:19,935
this is one that I like to call
Star Wars Toast because...
311
00:12:19,937 --> 00:12:24,272
it has a light side
and a dark side.
312
00:12:26,977 --> 00:12:29,277
All righty, it's time for
Dungeons & Dragons!
313
00:12:29,279 --> 00:12:31,647
Dungeons & Dragons.
314
00:12:31,649 --> 00:12:32,981
That sounds about right.
315
00:12:32,983 --> 00:12:35,517
You're gonna
enjoy this.
316
00:12:35,519 --> 00:12:38,253
I designed it
especially for you.
317
00:12:38,255 --> 00:12:39,888
Okay, but just for a little bit.
318
00:12:39,890 --> 00:12:41,590
Oh, I have a feeling
that once you start,
319
00:12:41,592 --> 00:12:44,393
you're not gonna want to
or be allowed to stop.
320
00:12:44,395 --> 00:12:47,229
All right.
321
00:12:47,231 --> 00:12:48,230
Ready?
322
00:12:48,232 --> 00:12:49,998
You bet.
323
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,633
Your name is
324
00:12:51,635 --> 00:12:52,734
Bernatrix.
325
00:12:52,736 --> 00:12:54,036
You are a warrior queen.
326
00:12:54,038 --> 00:12:56,905
You're strong,
beautiful and tall.
327
00:12:56,907 --> 00:13:00,709
Oh. I like the idea
of being tall.
328
00:13:00,711 --> 00:13:03,145
I think you're gonna like
a lot of things I have in store.
329
00:13:03,147 --> 00:13:05,747
For example, in this world,
only the men get pregnant,
330
00:13:05,749 --> 00:13:10,485
so your husband is home trying
not to pee when he laughs.
331
00:13:10,487 --> 00:13:12,454
This is getting fun.
What's next?
332
00:13:12,456 --> 00:13:14,623
You're parched and weary
from battle.
333
00:13:14,625 --> 00:13:17,893
You stand in front of a tavern
that serves the coldest,
334
00:13:17,895 --> 00:13:20,195
most delicious ale
in all the realm.
335
00:13:20,197 --> 00:13:22,564
Oh, I haven't had
a drink in months.
336
00:13:22,566 --> 00:13:24,299
What do you do?
337
00:13:24,301 --> 00:13:27,302
I storm in, slam my sword down,
338
00:13:27,304 --> 00:13:29,838
and say, “Barkeep, bring me
the strongest ale you have
339
00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:32,174
and serve it in
the skull of a goblin!”
340
00:13:35,112 --> 00:13:37,679
He wants to see I.D.
341
00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:43,552
So, Claire, we've heard so many
wonderful things about you.
342
00:13:43,554 --> 00:13:46,054
Really? Like what?
343
00:13:48,092 --> 00:13:50,358
Uh, mostly Penny's
heard them.
344
00:13:52,196 --> 00:13:54,930
Boy, you get some
dirty looks over there
345
00:13:54,932 --> 00:13:56,965
when you ask for ice.
346
00:13:57,735 --> 00:14:00,335
Zack, this is
my friend Claire.
347
00:14:00,337 --> 00:14:02,838
You're hot. You seeing anybody?
348
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:04,940
Uh, she's seeing me.
349
00:14:04,942 --> 00:14:06,174
Why'd you say she's your friend?
350
00:14:06,176 --> 00:14:07,409
We're just
keeping it casual.
351
00:14:07,411 --> 00:14:09,644
Why is he being casual with you?
You seem great.
352
00:14:09,646 --> 00:14:11,046
I don't know. Ask him.
353
00:14:11,048 --> 00:14:13,415
Why are you being casual
with her? She seems great.
354
00:14:21,358 --> 00:14:23,725
Maybe we should
take a step back.
355
00:14:23,727 --> 00:14:25,260
Take a step back?
356
00:14:25,262 --> 00:14:27,362
I'm not a young man anymore.
357
00:14:28,766 --> 00:14:32,267
No, I mean reevaluate what we're
doing with the guidance system.
358
00:14:32,269 --> 00:14:34,836
But (chuckles) I got a baby
on the way.
359
00:14:34,838 --> 00:14:36,404
I got to make some money.
360
00:14:36,406 --> 00:14:37,939
What good is
money gonna do
361
00:14:37,941 --> 00:14:39,641
if we inadvertently
bring about Armageddon?
362
00:14:39,643 --> 00:14:41,409
Okay, let me stop you
right there.
363
00:14:41,411 --> 00:14:42,644
We absolutely know
364
00:14:42,646 --> 00:14:45,747
our invention will not be used
to destroy the world.
365
00:14:45,749 --> 00:14:46,815
How?
366
00:14:46,817 --> 00:14:48,183
Because no one from the future
367
00:14:48,185 --> 00:14:50,318
has come back to kill us.
368
00:14:52,156 --> 00:14:53,522
Very funny.
369
00:14:53,524 --> 00:14:54,956
You got something better?
370
00:14:54,958 --> 00:14:56,291
Well, not really.
371
00:14:56,293 --> 00:14:57,893
Okay, then.
372
00:14:59,463 --> 00:15:01,463
(toilet flushes)
373
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,066
Geez, how much wine
did you drink?
374
00:15:05,068 --> 00:15:08,804
Not a lot. I just couldn't
start until you walked away.
375
00:15:12,176 --> 00:15:14,876
The Hell Prawn lunges
out of the hot spring!
376
00:15:14,878 --> 00:15:15,877
(die clinks)
377
00:15:15,879 --> 00:15:18,180
You block it with your shield.
378
00:15:18,182 --> 00:15:19,181
Do you attack?
379
00:15:19,183 --> 00:15:20,315
Does it have eyes?
380
00:15:20,317 --> 00:15:22,851
Three giant red ones
and they never blink.
381
00:15:22,853 --> 00:15:24,486
It's unsettling.
382
00:15:24,488 --> 00:15:27,022
I stab it in the middle eye!
383
00:15:27,024 --> 00:15:28,323
(die clinks)
384
00:15:28,325 --> 00:15:29,324
Good choice!
385
00:15:29,326 --> 00:15:30,926
Critical hit!
Your sword goes
386
00:15:30,928 --> 00:15:33,094
through its eye
into its tiny brain.
387
00:15:33,096 --> 00:15:35,397
With its final dying gasp,
it says,
388
00:15:35,399 --> 00:15:36,932
(high-pitched voice):
“You have reduced me
389
00:15:36,934 --> 00:15:38,867
“to a pile of sushi.
390
00:15:38,869 --> 00:15:40,535
“Enjoy me
391
00:15:40,537 --> 00:15:43,471
“with this packet of soy sauce.
392
00:15:43,473 --> 00:15:46,141
It's low sodium.” (groans)
393
00:15:47,845 --> 00:15:49,911
Okay, I guess I should
eat the Hell Prawn.
394
00:15:49,913 --> 00:15:50,879
Using your sword,
395
00:15:50,881 --> 00:15:53,181
you prepare a beautiful
sushi dinner.
396
00:15:53,183 --> 00:15:56,351
You slip into the hot spring
and enjoy the warm water
397
00:15:56,353 --> 00:15:57,485
on your aching joints.
398
00:15:57,487 --> 00:15:58,753
As you happily
close your eyes,
399
00:15:58,755 --> 00:16:01,056
you recall the incredible
evening you've had
400
00:16:01,058 --> 00:16:02,490
and notice that your...
401
00:16:02,492 --> 00:16:03,892
(die clinks)
402
00:16:03,894 --> 00:16:08,263
...feet and ankles are
smaller than they've ever been.
403
00:16:08,265 --> 00:16:09,931
The end.
404
00:16:09,933 --> 00:16:13,702
Wow, this night turned out to be
so much more fun than I thought.
405
00:16:13,704 --> 00:16:15,036
Oh, the fun doesn't stop.
406
00:16:15,038 --> 00:16:17,505
You're still going home
with a goodie bag full of toast.
407
00:16:20,777 --> 00:16:22,477
Thank you for this.
408
00:16:22,479 --> 00:16:25,180
You know, ever since people
found out I'm having a baby,
409
00:16:25,182 --> 00:16:27,983
I feel like I became
Pregnant Bernadette.
410
00:16:27,985 --> 00:16:30,118
It was nice to take
a little break tonight.
411
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:32,254
I can understand that.
412
00:16:32,256 --> 00:16:34,623
From the moment
people realized I was a genius,
413
00:16:34,625 --> 00:16:36,424
I've been Sheldon the Genius.
414
00:16:38,328 --> 00:16:40,161
Although I've never really
wanted a break from that,
415
00:16:40,163 --> 00:16:41,796
so I suppose I don't understand.
416
00:16:41,798 --> 00:16:43,531
Which is ironic
417
00:16:43,533 --> 00:16:45,533
'cause, you know, genius.
418
00:16:45,535 --> 00:16:46,902
(chuckles)
419
00:16:47,738 --> 00:16:49,537
Well, thanks again.
420
00:16:49,539 --> 00:16:50,639
You're welcome.
421
00:16:50,641 --> 00:16:52,073
And any time you need a break
422
00:16:52,075 --> 00:16:53,475
from being
Bernadette the Pregnant,
423
00:16:53,477 --> 00:16:55,677
Bernatrix the Warrior Queen
is here waiting.
424
00:16:55,679 --> 00:16:57,646
I might just take
you up on that.
425
00:16:57,648 --> 00:16:58,980
Well, mind you now,
426
00:16:58,982 --> 00:17:01,416
that offer's only good
until the third trimester.
427
00:17:01,418 --> 00:17:05,153
I can't risk getting
amniotic fluid on my spot.
428
00:17:07,257 --> 00:17:10,692
Hey, dude, you're
killing me with Claire.
429
00:17:10,694 --> 00:17:11,760
What are you talking about?
430
00:17:11,762 --> 00:17:14,329
(scoffs) I mean,
come on, look at you.
431
00:17:14,331 --> 00:17:17,365
You're classically handsome,
you've got a swimmer's body.
432
00:17:17,367 --> 00:17:20,568
Next to you,
I look like me.
433
00:17:20,570 --> 00:17:23,638
Oh, man,
I didn't mean to do that.
434
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:26,675
But I do appreciate you
recognizing my swimmer's body.
435
00:17:26,677 --> 00:17:28,910
Which, incidentally,
436
00:17:28,912 --> 00:17:31,980
I got from playing
Marco Polo at the YMCA.
437
00:17:34,017 --> 00:17:36,751
Yeah, okay, just...
do me a favor
438
00:17:36,753 --> 00:17:39,554
and stop talking about
how great Claire is.
439
00:17:39,556 --> 00:17:42,724
Anything for you,
my little foreign friend.
440
00:17:43,961 --> 00:17:45,360
So, I got to ask,
441
00:17:45,362 --> 00:17:47,429
does Raj bring around
other girls?
442
00:17:48,298 --> 00:17:49,798
Uh, you know,
443
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,000
I-I'm not really
around that much.
444
00:17:52,002 --> 00:17:54,035
Amy knows much more
than I do.
445
00:17:55,439 --> 00:17:57,172
I don't think you have
anything to worry about.
446
00:17:57,174 --> 00:17:59,841
Raj is a terrific guy,
loyal to a fault.
447
00:17:59,843 --> 00:18:03,011
Yeah. He still has
an AOL address.
448
00:18:04,381 --> 00:18:05,914
I see what you're saying.
449
00:18:05,916 --> 00:18:08,917
She's not so great.
450
00:18:12,756 --> 00:18:14,656
Don't listen to him.
451
00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:16,524
He says crazy things
all the time.
452
00:18:16,526 --> 00:18:17,525
Uh, watch. Marco.
453
00:18:17,527 --> 00:18:19,260
Polo!
454
00:18:21,164 --> 00:18:24,299
So, uh, what are
you guys talking about?
455
00:18:24,301 --> 00:18:26,267
Your friends were
just telling me about
456
00:18:26,269 --> 00:18:27,869
all the other girls
you're dating.
457
00:18:27,871 --> 00:18:30,305
Why would you do that?
458
00:18:30,307 --> 00:18:32,974
I specifically asked you
not to do that.
459
00:18:32,976 --> 00:18:34,242
We didn't.
460
00:18:34,244 --> 00:18:35,510
You just did.
461
00:18:38,048 --> 00:18:41,549
Wow. Maybe none of
you guys are smart.
462
00:18:51,759 --> 00:18:53,825
Morning.
463
00:18:53,827 --> 00:18:55,026
Morning.
464
00:18:55,028 --> 00:18:57,060
Ugh. Too much wine.
465
00:18:57,061 --> 00:18:58,327
Oh, I overdid it
466
00:18:58,329 --> 00:18:59,628
myself last night.
467
00:18:59,630 --> 00:19:01,263
Hair of the dog.
468
00:19:02,867 --> 00:19:06,001
Hey, did you ever think about
the military applications
469
00:19:06,003 --> 00:19:07,570
for the guidance system?
470
00:19:07,572 --> 00:19:09,338
Of course.
471
00:19:09,340 --> 00:19:10,673
Does it bother you?
472
00:19:11,509 --> 00:19:13,309
No, it did at first,
473
00:19:13,311 --> 00:19:16,879
but then I talked it through
with Frank and Alicia, and...
474
00:19:19,684 --> 00:19:22,852
...they really helped
put things into perspective.
475
00:19:22,854 --> 00:19:25,688
Who are these people?
476
00:19:25,690 --> 00:19:30,626
Leonard, friends are
like toilet paper.
477
00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:33,596
It's good to have extras
under the sink.
478
00:19:38,208 --> 00:19:44,708
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man