1
00:00:14,238 --> 00:00:15,789
Try to keep
up, Howard!
2
00:00:15,791 --> 00:00:18,208
I'm killing it!
3
00:00:18,210 --> 00:00:20,777
Yeah, I wish we looked
as cool dancing in clubs
4
00:00:20,779 --> 00:00:22,946
as we do right now.
5
00:00:22,948 --> 00:00:25,782
Don't worry, this is
exactly how you look
6
00:00:25,784 --> 00:00:27,450
when you're dancing in clubs.
7
00:00:27,452 --> 00:00:30,771
You're welcome, ladies.
8
00:00:30,773 --> 00:00:34,007
Paradigm-shifting
news, gentlemen!
9
00:00:34,009 --> 00:00:35,509
Dude!
10
00:00:35,511 --> 00:00:38,095
I was about to Bollywood
this bitch.
11
00:00:38,097 --> 00:00:41,131
Earlier today, I invited
12
00:00:41,133 --> 00:00:43,466
Professor Stephen Hawking
to join me
13
00:00:43,468 --> 00:00:46,019
in the popular online game
Words with Friends.
14
00:00:46,021 --> 00:00:49,740
Moments ago,
he accepted my request.
15
00:00:49,742 --> 00:00:51,474
Do you understand
what that means?
16
00:00:51,476 --> 00:00:53,493
That somewhere right now
Stephen Hawking is saying,
17
00:00:53,495 --> 00:00:56,079
"Damn it.
18
00:00:56,081 --> 00:00:58,314
I meant to click no."
19
00:01:00,118 --> 00:01:01,868
I'll walk you through it.
20
00:01:01,870 --> 00:01:05,589
The game is not called
Words with Strangers.
21
00:01:05,591 --> 00:01:07,207
No, it's not
even called
22
00:01:07,209 --> 00:01:08,709
Words with Acquaintances.
23
00:01:08,711 --> 00:01:10,077
It is called
24
00:01:10,079 --> 00:01:12,379
Words with...
25
00:01:14,232 --> 00:01:15,665
I'm not finishing your sentence.
26
00:01:15,667 --> 00:01:17,333
You pulled the plug on my funk.
27
00:01:17,335 --> 00:01:19,252
Friends!
28
00:01:19,254 --> 00:01:21,004
It's Words with Friends!
29
00:01:21,006 --> 00:01:22,472
Which Stephen
Hawking and I
30
00:01:22,474 --> 00:01:23,673
officially are.
31
00:01:23,675 --> 00:01:26,143
Now all I need is
a bunk bed with a slide;
32
00:01:26,145 --> 00:01:27,561
I'll have everything
I've ever wanted
33
00:01:27,563 --> 00:01:29,780
since I was six years old.
34
00:01:29,782 --> 00:01:30,897
That's really nice,
Sheldon.
35
00:01:30,899 --> 00:01:31,982
I'm happy for you.
36
00:01:31,984 --> 00:01:33,850
And I'm happy for you, too.
37
00:01:33,852 --> 00:01:35,235
You are now friends with someone
38
00:01:35,237 --> 00:01:37,821
who is officially friends
with Stephen Hawking.
39
00:01:37,823 --> 00:01:38,989
Enjoy it, boys.
40
00:01:38,991 --> 00:01:40,457
You may have peaked.
41
00:01:41,526 --> 00:01:43,326
Sheldon, I know
Stephen Hawking.
42
00:01:43,328 --> 00:01:44,695
I worked with him.
43
00:01:44,697 --> 00:01:46,546
And if they ever come out
with a game called
44
00:01:46,548 --> 00:01:47,881
Words with People
You Once Worked with,
45
00:01:47,883 --> 00:01:49,182
you'll be off to the races.
46
00:01:51,002 --> 00:01:52,636
Sheldon, I don't think
this actually means...
47
00:01:53,589 --> 00:01:54,871
Hold that thought!
48
00:01:54,873 --> 00:01:57,474
Professor Hawking
has made a move.
49
00:01:57,476 --> 00:01:59,142
Boy, oh, boy.
50
00:01:59,144 --> 00:02:00,727
Oh, it's only a matter of time
51
00:02:00,729 --> 00:02:03,647
before we're coming up with
fun nicknames for each other.
52
00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:06,366
I'll be Coop.
53
00:02:06,368 --> 00:02:09,936
He'll be Wheels.
54
00:02:09,938 --> 00:02:12,722
If he's okay with that.
55
00:02:13,775 --> 00:02:15,509
All right.
56
00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:17,911
Crank up the AC, boy!
57
00:02:17,913 --> 00:02:19,629
It's gonna get hot in here!
58
00:02:21,866 --> 00:02:25,502
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
59
00:02:25,504 --> 00:02:28,839
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
60
00:02:28,841 --> 00:02:30,457
♪ The Earth began to cool
61
00:02:30,459 --> 00:02:32,993
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
62
00:02:32,995 --> 00:02:35,662
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
63
00:02:35,664 --> 00:02:38,348
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
64
00:02:38,350 --> 00:02:40,250
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
65
00:02:40,252 --> 00:02:41,252
♪ Bang! ♪
66
00:02:41,253 --> 00:02:44,253
♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x06 ♪
The Extract Obliteration
Original Air Date on November 1, 2012
67
00:02:44,253 --> 00:02:47,153
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
68
00:02:47,183 --> 00:02:49,151
So, I was taking
a shower this morning,
69
00:02:49,153 --> 00:02:51,303
and when I got out, I
started to dry off with
70
00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:53,956
what I thought was a towel
but turned out to be
71
00:02:53,958 --> 00:02:56,358
Howard's mom's underwear.
72
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:03,031
I had to take another shower.
73
00:03:04,334 --> 00:03:06,518
It wasn't enough.
74
00:03:08,338 --> 00:03:11,757
Nothing will ever be enough.
75
00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:14,059
I once looked in Sheldon's
underwear drawer.
76
00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:15,227
He yelled at me.
77
00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:17,462
But now I know
what it looks like
78
00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:20,098
and he can never take that away.
79
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:21,216
There's a book
under here.
80
00:03:21,218 --> 00:03:22,217
Oh, I'll get that.
81
00:03:22,219 --> 00:03:23,819
I got it. I got it.
No, no, it's...
82
00:03:23,821 --> 00:03:26,438
Why do you have
a history textbook?
83
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,106
It's not a big deal.
84
00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:29,091
Just taking a class
85
00:03:29,093 --> 00:03:31,276
at the Pasadena
Community College.
86
00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:32,527
That's great.
87
00:03:32,529 --> 00:03:34,196
I didn't know you wanted
to go back to school.
88
00:03:34,198 --> 00:03:35,614
It's just one history class.
89
00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:36,915
Look, I didn't finish college,
90
00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:38,583
so I thought
I would give it a try.
91
00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:40,568
Not to mention,
your acting career
92
00:03:40,570 --> 00:03:42,821
is going south like Sherman.
93
00:03:44,624 --> 00:03:47,376
Read about it in your book.
94
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,746
Why would you be embarrassed
to tell us?
95
00:03:50,748 --> 00:03:51,713
No, I'm not embarrassed.
96
00:03:51,715 --> 00:03:52,965
I just didn't want
anyone to know
97
00:03:52,967 --> 00:03:54,182
because I haven't
told Leonard yet.
98
00:03:54,184 --> 00:03:55,634
Why wouldn't you tell Leonard?
99
00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:57,352
Because it's me
going back to school,
100
00:03:57,354 --> 00:04:00,138
and he's gonna be all "you can
do it," and "how can I help?"
101
00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:01,423
and "I'm so proud of you."
102
00:04:01,425 --> 00:04:03,375
Ugh!
103
00:04:04,694 --> 00:04:06,228
I just can't believe you could
104
00:04:06,230 --> 00:04:07,696
keep something like that
from him.
105
00:04:07,698 --> 00:04:10,932
You guys have got to be
the weirdest couple I know.
106
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,206
Really?
107
00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:23,462
You can't think
of anyone weirder?
108
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,464
I can,
109
00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:27,749
but she's sitting right there.
110
00:04:32,171 --> 00:04:33,505
Yes!
111
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:37,175
I play the word "quiver "
with a triple letter
112
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:40,762
and a double word
score for 72 points.
113
00:04:40,764 --> 00:04:44,099
That ought to let the air
out of your tires, Hawking.
114
00:04:45,818 --> 00:04:49,137
Wow, my boyfriend is friends
with Stephen Hawking
115
00:04:49,139 --> 00:04:51,740
and my new dandruff shampoo
doesn't smell like tar.
116
00:04:52,692 --> 00:04:56,895
Everything really is
coming up Amy.
117
00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:58,914
It is glorious.
118
00:04:58,916 --> 00:05:01,450
One of the greatest intellects
of our time
119
00:05:01,452 --> 00:05:04,986
has agreed to engage with me
in a gentlemanly battle of wits.
120
00:05:04,988 --> 00:05:06,755
And I'm spanking him so hard
121
00:05:06,757 --> 00:05:10,492
his grad students
won't be able to sit down.
122
00:05:10,494 --> 00:05:12,928
You know, when one male
dominates another,
123
00:05:12,930 --> 00:05:14,796
his testosterone level rises.
124
00:05:14,798 --> 00:05:16,431
What's your point?
125
00:05:16,433 --> 00:05:20,285
It's exciting to think you might
be getting a testosterone level.
126
00:05:24,974 --> 00:05:26,441
Ooh!
127
00:05:26,443 --> 00:05:30,245
My friend Stephen just played
the word "act" for 18 points.
128
00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:33,148
That's right, I call
him Stephen now.
129
00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:36,785
Because I checked, and he
was not okay with Wheels.
130
00:05:36,787 --> 00:05:40,455
Oh, you could turn
his "act" into "extract,"
131
00:05:40,457 --> 00:05:42,274
and it would be
for double points.
132
00:05:42,276 --> 00:05:43,575
Amy.
133
00:05:43,577 --> 00:05:45,127
Why would you
give me a word?
134
00:05:45,129 --> 00:05:48,080
Now, if I play "extract"
it would be cheating.
135
00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:48,914
Sorry.
136
00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:50,916
Although, I could play
137
00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:55,270
the completely unrelated
and better word "extract"
138
00:05:57,039 --> 00:05:59,891
Ethical conundrum
avoided.
139
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:03,261
Thanks, brain.
140
00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:06,848
Spaghetti okay?
141
00:06:06,850 --> 00:06:08,683
It's crunchy.
142
00:06:08,685 --> 00:06:11,520
Just the way
I like it.
143
00:06:11,522 --> 00:06:15,907
Yeah, I don't think
the water was really boiling.
144
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:17,676
It's great. I love it.
145
00:06:18,996 --> 00:06:21,363
Okay, listen, there's something
I need to tell you.
146
00:06:21,365 --> 00:06:24,583
I've been thinking about going
back to school for a while now.
147
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:27,068
So a couple months ago,
I started taking a history class
148
00:06:27,070 --> 00:06:28,170
at the community college.
149
00:06:28,172 --> 00:06:29,571
Oh.
150
00:06:29,573 --> 00:06:31,840
That's great!
Great, great, great!
151
00:06:31,842 --> 00:06:33,692
Why wait so long
to tell me?
152
00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:36,128
I don't want you
to make a big deal out of it.
153
00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:37,512
Why do you think
I'd be like that?
154
00:06:37,514 --> 00:06:39,181
I get it, you're taking
one class. It's nice.
155
00:06:39,183 --> 00:06:40,248
Maybe if it goes well,
156
00:06:40,250 --> 00:06:41,383
you take another,
you enroll full-time.
157
00:06:41,385 --> 00:06:42,601
Ooh, be sure to
keep an eye on
158
00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:45,153
which credits transfer
to a four-year college.
159
00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:47,672
You're making it a big deal.
160
00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:49,141
Sorry. Whatever.
161
00:06:49,143 --> 00:06:51,643
It's all good.
162
00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:52,694
Anyway, that's it.
163
00:06:52,696 --> 00:06:53,979
I just thought
you should know.
164
00:06:53,981 --> 00:06:56,848
Am I allowed to ask
how the class is going?
165
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,066
It's really good.
166
00:06:58,068 --> 00:06:59,818
We've been talking about
the origins of slavery.
167
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,102
Turn in
my first paper tomorrow.
168
00:07:01,104 --> 00:07:02,770
Great topic. I can
help with that.
169
00:07:02,772 --> 00:07:04,789
There are lots of different
perspectives you can take:
170
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:06,291
economic, sociological,
political...
171
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:08,276
Hey, this is my paper.
172
00:07:08,278 --> 00:07:11,946
And my perspective
is that slavery is bad.
173
00:07:13,616 --> 00:07:14,949
Oh, and my professor's black,
174
00:07:14,951 --> 00:07:17,018
so I'm pretty sure
that's the right answer.
175
00:07:17,803 --> 00:07:19,804
Can I take a look?
176
00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:22,340
No, Leonard,
this is my thing.
177
00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:23,975
Okay, I get it.
178
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:25,477
Thank you.
179
00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:27,095
It's like when I
started doing chin-ups;
180
00:07:27,097 --> 00:07:30,866
I didn't want you to see
until I could do one.
181
00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:34,336
FYI, really close.
182
00:07:34,338 --> 00:07:36,137
Thank you.
183
00:07:36,139 --> 00:07:37,656
Now behave yourself
and eat your dinner.
184
00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:38,657
Maybe later, if you're lucky,
185
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:40,192
you get to sleep with
a college girl.
186
00:07:40,194 --> 00:07:41,276
Really?
187
00:07:41,278 --> 00:07:42,944
'Cause I went to
four years of college
188
00:07:42,946 --> 00:07:45,413
and five years of grad school,
that never happened once.
189
00:07:48,518 --> 00:07:51,503
I think the next time I have to
speak to a call center in India,
190
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:54,789
I'm going to try using
an American accent.
191
00:07:57,126 --> 00:07:58,627
Why?
192
00:07:58,629 --> 00:08:01,012
Because when I use
my regular voice,
193
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:03,565
I feel like
I'm making fun of them.
194
00:08:06,018 --> 00:08:07,602
That's ridiculous.
195
00:08:07,604 --> 00:08:09,938
Not to mention, your
American accent is terrible.
196
00:08:09,940 --> 00:08:12,057
Dude, my accent is brilliant.
197
00:08:12,059 --> 00:08:14,142
Hey,
my snow-white American friends,
198
00:08:14,144 --> 00:08:15,944
let's put some cow meat
on the barbecue
199
00:08:15,946 --> 00:08:19,731
and eat it
until we're all obese.
200
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,483
This is what you sound like.
201
00:08:21,485 --> 00:08:23,034
I think I'm talking
202
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:25,570
in an American accent,
but it really sounds like
203
00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:28,740
I'm wearing a set
of giant dentures.
204
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:31,710
Sheldon, do I really
sound like that?
205
00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:34,079
Tell him he sounds like that.
206
00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:37,566
Sheldon, you okay?
207
00:08:37,568 --> 00:08:40,652
It's been three days.
208
00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:43,939
Why hasn't Stephen
Hawking played a word?
209
00:08:45,474 --> 00:08:46,708
The guy's a genius.
210
00:08:46,710 --> 00:08:48,710
Maybe you weren't
challenging enough for him.
211
00:08:48,712 --> 00:08:50,011
Not challenging?
212
00:08:50,013 --> 00:08:51,713
I was humiliating
the man.
213
00:08:51,715 --> 00:08:54,399
I was thinking of writing a
book called A Brief History of
214
00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:57,652
the Time I Made Stephen Hawking
Cry Like a Little Girl.
215
00:08:57,654 --> 00:09:00,272
There's the problem.
216
00:09:00,274 --> 00:09:02,056
You can't beat Hawking
like that.
217
00:09:02,058 --> 00:09:03,275
He hates to lose.
218
00:09:03,277 --> 00:09:05,443
Everyone knows the
guy's a big baby.
219
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:09,281
I mean, forget the wheelchair,
he should be in a stroller.
220
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:13,201
Really?
221
00:09:13,203 --> 00:09:15,086
One time when I was
working with him,
222
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:18,089
he said that Johnny Depp
was in The Matrix.
223
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:20,875
I told him he was wrong,
but he kept insisting.
224
00:09:20,877 --> 00:09:23,378
So I looked it up
online and showed him.
225
00:09:23,380 --> 00:09:26,264
Well, the next day,
he had a pizza party,
226
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:30,218
and everyone got invited but me.
227
00:09:30,936 --> 00:09:32,304
And then he was all,
228
00:09:32,306 --> 00:09:34,356
"Your invitation must have
229
00:09:34,358 --> 00:09:37,859
gotten lost in the matrix."
230
00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:43,398
Good Lord,
what have I done?
231
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,867
Good Lord, what have I done?
232
00:09:48,738 --> 00:09:51,039
Terrible.
233
00:09:51,041 --> 00:09:54,442
All right, hotshot,
let's hear your Indian.
234
00:09:54,444 --> 00:09:56,277
I can't sit on that elephant,
235
00:09:56,279 --> 00:10:00,448
ass is on fire
from eating all this curry.
236
00:10:03,886 --> 00:10:05,720
Okay, yeah, that's pretty good.
237
00:10:27,309 --> 00:10:29,277
Please be good.
238
00:10:29,279 --> 00:10:31,446
Please be good.
239
00:10:35,401 --> 00:10:37,285
Uh-huh.
240
00:10:39,121 --> 00:10:42,357
Uh-huh.
241
00:10:42,359 --> 00:10:44,359
Okay.
242
00:10:44,361 --> 00:10:47,562
She writes like she cooks.
243
00:10:51,762 --> 00:10:54,013
Play.
244
00:10:54,015 --> 00:10:56,465
Play. Play.
245
00:10:56,467 --> 00:10:58,100
Play.
246
00:10:58,102 --> 00:10:59,969
Play.
247
00:10:59,971 --> 00:11:01,386
What are you doing?
248
00:11:02,239 --> 00:11:04,190
Trying to use a Jedi mind trick
249
00:11:04,192 --> 00:11:06,442
to control Stephen Hawking.
250
00:11:07,277 --> 00:11:08,310
Play.
251
00:11:08,312 --> 00:11:10,329
Play.
252
00:11:10,331 --> 00:11:11,580
Oh...
253
00:11:11,582 --> 00:11:15,301
He must be wearing
a tinfoil hat or something.
254
00:11:15,303 --> 00:11:17,620
I did a bad thing.
255
00:11:17,622 --> 00:11:19,138
Does it affect me?
256
00:11:19,140 --> 00:11:20,089
No.
257
00:11:20,091 --> 00:11:22,407
Then suffer in silence.
258
00:11:22,409 --> 00:11:24,043
Play.
259
00:11:24,045 --> 00:11:27,546
Play. Play.
260
00:11:27,548 --> 00:11:29,414
Stephen Hawking...
261
00:11:29,416 --> 00:11:32,835
Stephen Hawking...
Stephen Hawking.
262
00:11:33,687 --> 00:11:35,971
Penny started taking a class.
263
00:11:35,973 --> 00:11:37,756
She wrote a paper,
she didn't want me to read it,
264
00:11:37,758 --> 00:11:39,424
I went behind her back
and I read it anyway.
265
00:11:39,426 --> 00:11:41,610
Stephen Hawking hates me.
266
00:11:42,446 --> 00:11:43,979
I don't know what to do.
267
00:11:43,981 --> 00:11:45,264
I mean, the paper's terrible.
268
00:11:45,266 --> 00:11:47,483
But if I tell her,
she'll know that I read it
269
00:11:47,485 --> 00:11:48,834
and she'll get really mad.
270
00:11:48,836 --> 00:11:50,102
I was beating him so bad,
271
00:11:50,104 --> 00:11:52,104
he doesn't want
to be friends anymore.
272
00:11:52,106 --> 00:11:55,541
Why does everyone love me
except Stephen Hawking?
273
00:11:55,543 --> 00:11:58,778
Is it possible we're having
two different conversations?
274
00:11:58,780 --> 00:12:00,079
How would I know?
275
00:12:00,081 --> 00:12:02,081
I'm not listening to you.
276
00:12:02,949 --> 00:12:04,216
Hang on.
277
00:12:06,002 --> 00:12:07,002
Okay.
278
00:12:07,004 --> 00:12:08,170
Here's what we're gonna do.
279
00:12:08,172 --> 00:12:09,405
Chess clock.
280
00:12:09,407 --> 00:12:11,891
We each get five minutes
to talk about our problems.
281
00:12:11,893 --> 00:12:12,925
We'll take turns.
282
00:12:12,927 --> 00:12:14,343
Each turn will consist of
283
00:12:14,345 --> 00:12:17,229
a statement and a helpful
response from the friend.
284
00:12:17,231 --> 00:12:18,714
Begin.
285
00:12:18,716 --> 00:12:21,567
I humiliated Stephen Hawking
286
00:12:21,569 --> 00:12:22,968
in a game of Words with Friends.
287
00:12:22,970 --> 00:12:24,069
He stopped playing.
288
00:12:24,071 --> 00:12:25,554
And now we're not
friends anymore.
289
00:12:25,556 --> 00:12:27,523
He's probably busy.
290
00:12:27,525 --> 00:12:28,974
You're worried about nothing.
291
00:12:28,976 --> 00:12:30,559
Give it
a couple more days.
292
00:12:30,561 --> 00:12:32,161
I'm sure he'll play, and you'll
see that everything's fine.
293
00:12:32,163 --> 00:12:34,647
My turn.
294
00:12:34,649 --> 00:12:36,532
I can't let Penny
hand in a bad paper,
295
00:12:36,534 --> 00:12:38,167
but how do I tell her it's bad
296
00:12:38,169 --> 00:12:39,852
without letting her know
that I read it?
297
00:12:39,854 --> 00:12:41,203
Hmm.
298
00:12:41,205 --> 00:12:42,654
Beats me. Now...
299
00:12:44,457 --> 00:12:46,175
I know Hawking's not busy
300
00:12:46,177 --> 00:12:48,794
because I can see he's playing
other people right now.
301
00:12:48,796 --> 00:12:51,180
Maybe since you're so good,
302
00:12:51,182 --> 00:12:53,632
he's taking his time
to meet the challenge.
303
00:12:53,634 --> 00:12:54,967
I want Penny to enjoy school...
304
00:12:54,969 --> 00:12:57,136
Wolowitz told me
he's a big baby!
305
00:12:57,138 --> 00:12:58,621
But I didn't know that,
306
00:12:58,623 --> 00:13:00,839
and I played "extract"
for 82 points.
307
00:13:00,841 --> 00:13:03,225
It's all Amy's fault.
She told me to play it.
308
00:13:03,227 --> 00:13:05,661
I have got to cut her loose.
309
00:13:06,530 --> 00:13:09,148
Sheldon, I wasn't done talking.
310
00:13:09,150 --> 00:13:10,900
She hands in the paper tomorrow.
311
00:13:10,902 --> 00:13:12,568
I know I could help her.
312
00:13:12,570 --> 00:13:14,286
And she's my girlfriend...
313
00:13:14,288 --> 00:13:15,738
I-I should be
allowed to help her.
314
00:13:15,740 --> 00:13:17,256
Why aren't I allowed
to help her?
315
00:13:17,258 --> 00:13:19,358
Yeah, I hear you, brother.
316
00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:21,544
No.
317
00:13:21,546 --> 00:13:22,862
You need to give me some advice.
318
00:13:22,864 --> 00:13:24,763
Fine. Women, huh?
319
00:13:24,765 --> 00:13:26,448
No...
320
00:13:27,517 --> 00:13:30,452
Specific to my situation.
321
00:13:30,454 --> 00:13:31,854
Blonde women, huh?
322
00:13:34,291 --> 00:13:35,808
Empathetic!
323
00:13:35,810 --> 00:13:38,043
It sucks to be you.
I quit.
324
00:13:38,045 --> 00:13:40,296
Leonard, wait. No.
325
00:13:40,298 --> 00:13:43,566
I listened to your dumb thing.
326
00:13:43,568 --> 00:13:44,967
Leonard, come back.
327
00:13:44,969 --> 00:13:46,218
Leonard,
come back.
328
00:13:46,220 --> 00:13:47,253
Leonard, come back.
329
00:13:47,255 --> 00:13:48,737
What?
Oh, of course,
330
00:13:48,739 --> 00:13:51,156
it only works
on the weak-minded.
331
00:14:00,066 --> 00:14:02,835
Good morning,
sunshine.
332
00:14:03,687 --> 00:14:05,237
Leonard.
333
00:14:05,239 --> 00:14:06,905
It's 8:00 a.m.
334
00:14:06,907 --> 00:14:09,408
It's like the middle
of the night.
335
00:14:10,176 --> 00:14:12,261
I know, but I have
to go to work,
336
00:14:12,263 --> 00:14:14,213
and I made you
breakfast.
337
00:14:14,215 --> 00:14:16,131
Oh, wow,
that's so sweet.
338
00:14:16,133 --> 00:14:17,716
Hey, what's this?
Uh,
339
00:14:17,718 --> 00:14:19,768
before you open that, um,
are you familiar
340
00:14:19,770 --> 00:14:22,438
with the story of
"The Shoemaker and the Elves"?
341
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:23,755
Elves? Come on, Leonard.
342
00:14:23,757 --> 00:14:26,525
- It's too early for Lord of the Rings.
- No, no.
343
00:14:29,813 --> 00:14:31,030
Listen, um...
344
00:14:31,032 --> 00:14:32,931
Once upon a time,
there was this shoemaker
345
00:14:32,933 --> 00:14:34,783
and when he went
to bed at night,
346
00:14:34,785 --> 00:14:36,118
elves would sneak in
347
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,437
and they would make
all these amazing
348
00:14:38,439 --> 00:14:39,571
shoes for him.
349
00:14:39,573 --> 00:14:41,290
And when the shoemaker
woke up in the morning,
350
00:14:41,292 --> 00:14:43,459
he-he would be super happy,
351
00:14:43,461 --> 00:14:46,545
not mad at the elves at all.
352
00:14:47,380 --> 00:14:49,148
Open it.
353
00:14:49,150 --> 00:14:51,300
Okay.
354
00:14:51,302 --> 00:14:54,003
"An examination
of the economic, cultural,
355
00:14:54,005 --> 00:14:56,171
and political roots of slavery
356
00:14:56,173 --> 00:14:59,758
in the Old South:
1619 to 1865."
357
00:15:00,577 --> 00:15:03,062
What the hell is this?
358
00:15:03,064 --> 00:15:06,231
Don't ask me.
A little elf did it.
359
00:15:08,068 --> 00:15:09,852
So let me get this straight.
360
00:15:09,854 --> 00:15:12,354
You just assumed my paper
would be bad
361
00:15:12,356 --> 00:15:14,056
so you wrote one for me?
362
00:15:14,058 --> 00:15:15,674
No, I assumed it would be good.
Then I read it.
363
00:15:15,676 --> 00:15:17,393
What?!
No, I...
364
00:15:17,395 --> 00:15:19,411
I mean, it was good.
365
00:15:19,413 --> 00:15:22,114
There were just a few things
that needed a little polishing.
366
00:15:22,116 --> 00:15:24,917
W... You changed every word.
That's not true.
367
00:15:24,919 --> 00:15:25,984
Uh...
368
00:15:25,986 --> 00:15:27,252
"Slavery."
369
00:15:29,506 --> 00:15:31,623
"1619,"
370
00:15:31,625 --> 00:15:34,426
your name at the top--
that's all you.
371
00:15:35,261 --> 00:15:37,079
You are such an ass.
372
00:15:37,081 --> 00:15:38,497
This is exactly why
I didn't want to tell you
373
00:15:38,499 --> 00:15:40,332
I was taking a class
in the first place.
374
00:15:40,334 --> 00:15:42,017
Please don't be upset.
I-I just...
375
00:15:42,019 --> 00:15:44,303
I didn't want you ending up
with a bad grade
376
00:15:44,305 --> 00:15:46,338
and get discouraged
and give up on the idea
377
00:15:46,340 --> 00:15:47,439
of going back to school.
378
00:15:47,441 --> 00:15:49,641
Right, because me
being in school
379
00:15:49,643 --> 00:15:51,060
is so important to you.
380
00:15:51,062 --> 00:15:53,328
That way, you wouldn't have
to be dating someone
381
00:15:53,330 --> 00:15:54,646
who's only a waitress.
382
00:15:54,648 --> 00:15:56,348
Oh, come on, you know
that's not true.
383
00:15:56,350 --> 00:15:57,849
Do I? Listen to me.
384
00:15:57,851 --> 00:15:59,485
I need to do this on my own.
385
00:15:59,487 --> 00:16:01,686
If I fail, I fail.
If I pass, I pass.
386
00:16:01,688 --> 00:16:02,687
Do you get it?
387
00:16:02,689 --> 00:16:04,156
I'm sorry.
I was just trying
388
00:16:04,158 --> 00:16:06,375
to help.
Yeah, well, next time don't.
389
00:16:07,293 --> 00:16:09,344
Oh, and since
you like stories so much,
390
00:16:09,346 --> 00:16:11,063
this is not "The Shoemaker
and the Elves," okay?
391
00:16:11,065 --> 00:16:13,632
This is, "Give a man a fish,
he eats it.
392
00:16:13,634 --> 00:16:15,050
"Teach a man to fish, he...
393
00:16:15,052 --> 00:16:16,868
sells it or something."
Whatever, I don't know!
394
00:16:16,870 --> 00:16:19,021
It's just a lot better
than what you did, you big jerk!
395
00:16:25,045 --> 00:16:27,629
You ever hear back
from Hawking?
396
00:16:27,631 --> 00:16:29,314
No.
397
00:16:29,316 --> 00:16:31,567
It would appear
as if I've lost him.
398
00:16:31,569 --> 00:16:33,552
Stupid brain.
399
00:16:35,388 --> 00:16:36,522
It'll be okay.
400
00:16:36,524 --> 00:16:38,574
How can it be okay?
401
00:16:38,576 --> 00:16:40,125
Stephen Hawking's a genius
402
00:16:40,127 --> 00:16:42,077
and he talks like a robot.
403
00:16:42,079 --> 00:16:45,230
It's everything I've ever wanted
in a friend.
404
00:16:46,032 --> 00:16:47,533
Yeah, but if he's
a sore loser,
405
00:16:47,535 --> 00:16:49,034
maybe you're better
off without him.
406
00:16:49,869 --> 00:16:51,420
You're right.
407
00:16:51,422 --> 00:16:54,573
I guess I just have to make
lemonade out of the two of you.
408
00:16:58,546 --> 00:17:00,512
He played!
He played!
409
00:17:00,514 --> 00:17:04,216
Coop and Rolling Thunder
are together again.
410
00:17:05,034 --> 00:17:07,919
He was okay with that nickname.
411
00:17:07,921 --> 00:17:10,120
So, now all you have to do
is let him win.
412
00:17:10,145 --> 00:17:12,106
Yeah,
way ahead of you.
413
00:17:12,109 --> 00:17:14,476
I will play the word "at"
414
00:17:14,478 --> 00:17:17,379
for two measly points,
throwing the game
415
00:17:17,381 --> 00:17:18,897
and thus securing my friendship
416
00:17:18,899 --> 00:17:21,150
with the smartest man
in the world.
417
00:17:28,558 --> 00:17:30,609
What are you waiting for?
Hit "send."
418
00:17:30,611 --> 00:17:31,776
I can't.
419
00:17:31,778 --> 00:17:34,329
Losing on purpose
is intellectually dishonest.
420
00:17:34,331 --> 00:17:35,631
So don't do it.
421
00:17:35,633 --> 00:17:37,449
Oh, but I want
to be Hawking's friend.
422
00:17:37,451 --> 00:17:38,700
So do it.
423
00:17:38,702 --> 00:17:40,636
No, but if I do,
I'll be a phony,
424
00:17:40,638 --> 00:17:41,786
a sellout,
425
00:17:41,788 --> 00:17:44,089
a Hollywood poser.
426
00:17:44,924 --> 00:17:46,742
Then don't do it.
427
00:17:46,744 --> 00:17:48,377
I won't.
428
00:17:48,379 --> 00:17:49,812
This feels right.
429
00:17:49,814 --> 00:17:53,015
My mother always said,
"To thine own self be true."
430
00:17:53,017 --> 00:17:54,349
Good for you.
431
00:17:54,351 --> 00:17:56,018
'Course she also told me
that every animal in the world
432
00:17:56,020 --> 00:17:58,737
got on one boat, so what does
she know? And send.
433
00:18:05,078 --> 00:18:06,161
Oh, hey.
434
00:18:06,163 --> 00:18:07,579
Haven't heard from you
in a couple days.
435
00:18:07,581 --> 00:18:08,564
You still mad at me?
436
00:18:08,566 --> 00:18:09,814
Nope.
437
00:18:09,816 --> 00:18:11,834
I have no reason to...
438
00:18:11,836 --> 00:18:13,752
"B" mad at you.
439
00:18:14,987 --> 00:18:16,905
Minus.
440
00:18:18,292 --> 00:18:19,208
Wow.
441
00:18:19,210 --> 00:18:20,992
That's right.
On my paper.
442
00:18:20,994 --> 00:18:23,979
Not yours, mine,
you punk-ass elf.
443
00:18:25,748 --> 00:18:27,683
I don't know what to say.
444
00:18:27,685 --> 00:18:29,051
Hmm, how about,
445
00:18:29,053 --> 00:18:31,670
"Gee, Penny, you're smarter
than I thought.
446
00:18:31,672 --> 00:18:33,522
"You may be the one in school,
447
00:18:33,524 --> 00:18:35,641
"but I'm the one
who learned a lesson.
448
00:18:35,643 --> 00:18:39,678
I'm so stupid, Penny.
Duh..."
449
00:18:44,567 --> 00:18:47,686
She sounds exactly like you!
450
00:18:49,522 --> 00:18:51,540
How'd it go
with Leonard?
451
00:18:51,542 --> 00:18:54,793
I don't think he'll be making
that mistake again.
452
00:18:54,795 --> 00:18:55,794
Good.
453
00:18:55,796 --> 00:18:56,795
So,
454
00:18:56,797 --> 00:18:57,862
I know this goes
without saying,
455
00:18:57,864 --> 00:18:59,131
but if either of you
tell Leonard
456
00:18:59,133 --> 00:19:00,365
you helped me rewrite
this paper,
457
00:19:00,367 --> 00:19:03,085
I will beat you both
with a bag of oranges.
458
00:19:03,903 --> 00:19:05,204
Got it.
Understood.
459
00:19:05,206 --> 00:19:07,890
Now, ladies, we got a
B-minus on this paper.
460
00:19:07,892 --> 00:19:09,591
I think if we put
our heads together,
461
00:19:09,593 --> 00:19:11,960
on the next one
we could get an "A."
462
00:19:11,962 --> 00:19:14,947
Uh, but we got you a B-minus on
purpose to make it believable.
463
00:19:14,949 --> 00:19:16,348
Believable?
464
00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:18,600
You saying I'm not smart?
465
00:19:18,602 --> 00:19:21,119
No, no!
You're smart.
466
00:19:21,938 --> 00:19:23,689
That's better.
467
00:19:25,074 --> 00:19:27,559
I feel like I'm in
high school again.
468
00:19:27,561 --> 00:19:31,914
Yeah, doing the prom queen's
homework so she'll like us.
469
00:19:31,916 --> 00:19:33,898
I know.
470
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:36,084
It's finally working.
471
00:19:46,777 --> 00:19:48,244
It's Stephen Hawking.
472
00:19:48,246 --> 00:19:50,113
Answer it.
473
00:19:50,115 --> 00:19:52,298
I want to hear.
474
00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:54,701
Professor Hawking,
475
00:19:54,703 --> 00:19:56,186
how nice of you to call.
476
00:19:56,188 --> 00:19:57,420
Hello.
477
00:19:57,422 --> 00:20:00,340
I really enjoyed our game,
Dr. Cooper.
478
00:20:00,342 --> 00:20:01,341
Oh,
479
00:20:01,343 --> 00:20:03,226
me, too.
480
00:20:03,228 --> 00:20:06,896
Or should I say Dr. Loser?
481
00:20:09,266 --> 00:20:10,800
Ha, ha, ha.
482
00:20:12,972 --> 00:20:13,822
Yes,
483
00:20:13,823 --> 00:20:15,089
congratulations.
484
00:20:15,091 --> 00:20:17,007
You won fair and square.
485
00:20:17,009 --> 00:20:18,926
Uh, very impressive, sir.
486
00:20:18,928 --> 00:20:20,928
Do you like brain teasers?
487
00:20:20,930 --> 00:20:23,380
Oh, I love brain teasers.
488
00:20:23,892 --> 00:20:26,276
What does Sheldon Cooper
489
00:20:26,278 --> 00:20:28,330
and a black hole have in common?
490
00:20:29,416 --> 00:20:31,583
They both suck.
491
00:20:38,319 --> 00:20:40,171
Neener neener.
492
00:20:40,219 --> 00:20:45,219
== sync, corrected by elderman ==