1
00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:10,514
Hello.
2
00:00:10,516 --> 00:00:11,915
I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper,
3
00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:13,550
and welcome to
the premiere episode
4
00:00:13,552 --> 00:00:18,572
of Sheldon Cooper Presents:
Fun with Flags.
5
00:00:18,574 --> 00:00:22,743
Over the next 52 weeks,
you and I are going to explore
6
00:00:22,745 --> 00:00:25,829
the dynamic world
of vexillology.
7
00:00:25,831 --> 00:00:27,865
Hang on, Dr. C.
8
00:00:27,867 --> 00:00:30,000
What's vexillology?
9
00:00:31,403 --> 00:00:34,505
Vexillology is
the study of flags.
10
00:00:34,507 --> 00:00:36,673
Cool.
11
00:00:37,959 --> 00:00:40,794
I think I just
learned something.
12
00:00:40,796 --> 00:00:42,196
Did you have fun doing it?
13
00:00:42,198 --> 00:00:44,932
I'll say.
14
00:00:44,934 --> 00:00:49,086
Fun and information are two
sides to this video podcast,
15
00:00:49,088 --> 00:00:52,306
not unlike the only
two-sided state flag--
16
00:00:52,308 --> 00:00:54,641
Oregon.
17
00:00:54,643 --> 00:00:56,477
Oh, look.
18
00:00:56,479 --> 00:00:59,530
Hello, Mr. Beaver.
19
00:00:59,532 --> 00:01:03,050
In future episodes, we'll answer
some burning questions:
20
00:01:03,052 --> 00:01:05,552
What's the only
non-rectangular flag?
21
00:01:05,554 --> 00:01:08,405
What animal appears
most often on flags?
22
00:01:08,407 --> 00:01:11,592
What animal appears second
most often on flags?
23
00:01:11,594 --> 00:01:13,794
And more.
24
00:01:14,295 --> 00:01:16,463
Sweet!
25
00:01:17,382 --> 00:01:19,833
Why are you waving
a white flag?
26
00:01:19,835 --> 00:01:21,135
I'm surrendering...
27
00:01:21,137 --> 00:01:23,320
to fun.
28
00:01:29,094 --> 00:01:33,480
Now, today's episode of
Fun with Flags is not fun,
29
00:01:33,482 --> 00:01:35,315
but it is important.
30
00:01:35,317 --> 00:01:37,618
"Flags: you gotta know
how to hold 'em,
31
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you gotta know
how to fold 'em."
32
00:01:40,773 --> 00:01:44,108
Let's start by identifying
the parts of our flag.
33
00:01:44,110 --> 00:01:47,060
This edge is the hoist,
and it's used to...
34
00:01:47,062 --> 00:01:48,779
Excuse me,
sorry, excuse me.
35
00:01:48,781 --> 00:01:49,863
Cut.
36
00:01:49,865 --> 00:01:53,033
Did you not see
we are rolling?
37
00:01:53,035 --> 00:01:54,284
Sorry. I'm having dinner
with Penny.
38
00:01:54,286 --> 00:01:55,702
I have to get out of here.
39
00:01:55,704 --> 00:01:57,454
And I have flag knowledge
40
00:01:57,456 --> 00:01:59,873
that I have to
get out of here!
41
00:02:04,797 --> 00:02:05,796
You okay?
42
00:02:05,798 --> 00:02:07,848
No, I'm a little rattled.
43
00:02:07,850 --> 00:02:11,051
But like the flag over
Fort Sumter, I'm still here.
44
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And... take two.
45
00:02:16,007 --> 00:02:18,509
Hello.
46
00:02:18,511 --> 00:02:19,710
I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper,
47
00:02:19,712 --> 00:02:21,145
and welcome to
the premiere episode
48
00:02:21,147 --> 00:02:25,399
of Sheldon Cooper Presents:
Fun with Flags.
49
00:02:25,401 --> 00:02:29,069
Over the next 52 weeks,
you and I are going to explore
50
00:02:29,071 --> 00:02:31,305
the dynamic world
of vexillology.
51
00:02:32,991 --> 00:02:34,858
Hang on, Dr. Cooper.
52
00:02:34,860 --> 00:02:37,127
What's vexillology?
53
00:02:37,129 --> 00:02:38,729
Vexillology is...
54
00:02:38,731 --> 00:02:41,915
why is there a face
on that flag?
55
00:02:41,917 --> 00:02:43,750
It's Ferdinand T. Flag.
56
00:02:43,752 --> 00:02:46,537
I thought he might help bring in
some younger viewers.
57
00:02:46,539 --> 00:02:48,172
Confound it!
58
00:02:48,174 --> 00:02:49,756
You're right, it's brilliant.
Let's take it from the top.
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00:02:50,925 --> 00:02:54,561
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
60
00:02:54,563 --> 00:02:57,898
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
61
00:02:57,900 --> 00:02:59,533
♪ The Earth began to cool
62
00:02:59,535 --> 00:03:02,069
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
63
00:03:02,071 --> 00:03:04,738
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
64
00:03:04,740 --> 00:03:07,407
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
65
00:03:07,409 --> 00:03:08,992
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
66
00:03:08,994 --> 00:03:09,471
♪ Bang! ♪
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00:03:09,496 --> 00:03:12,896
The Big Bang Theory 5x14
The Beta Test Initiation
Original Air Date on January 26, 2012
68
00:03:12,897 --> 00:03:16,197
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
69
00:03:16,199 --> 00:03:18,201
That was a really
nice dinner.
70
00:03:18,203 --> 00:03:19,786
I'm glad you asked me
out again.
71
00:03:19,788 --> 00:03:21,822
Me, too; I missed you.
72
00:03:21,824 --> 00:03:24,207
You see me all the time.
73
00:03:24,209 --> 00:03:26,543
You sure you just
don't miss the sex?
74
00:03:27,745 --> 00:03:30,330
Well, yeah, sex with you
is pretty great.
75
00:03:30,332 --> 00:03:33,032
Have you ever tried it?
76
00:03:33,034 --> 00:03:34,301
I have.
77
00:03:34,303 --> 00:03:36,720
You are not wrong.
78
00:03:36,722 --> 00:03:39,139
I just think if we're
gonna try dating again,
79
00:03:39,141 --> 00:03:41,258
we should take things slow.
80
00:03:41,260 --> 00:03:43,510
Oh, I can take it slow.
81
00:03:43,512 --> 00:03:45,545
Did I ever tell you
about my first girlfriend
82
00:03:45,547 --> 00:03:47,731
in high school,
Karen Berberick?
83
00:03:47,733 --> 00:03:51,568
To this day she doesn't know
we were going out.
84
00:03:51,570 --> 00:03:56,389
Made it easier on her
when I broke things off.
85
00:03:56,391 --> 00:03:59,109
Okay, well, maybe
not that slow.
86
00:03:59,111 --> 00:04:00,444
How about this,
87
00:04:00,446 --> 00:04:02,061
are you familiar with
the typical development
88
00:04:02,063 --> 00:04:04,498
for computer software?
89
00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:07,501
You know, just for fun,
let's say I'm not.
90
00:04:07,503 --> 00:04:09,569
Before an application
is released,
91
00:04:09,571 --> 00:04:10,921
they give it a trial run.
92
00:04:10,923 --> 00:04:12,589
W-We could do that.
93
00:04:12,591 --> 00:04:15,675
And if we hit a rough spot,
instead of getting mad,
94
00:04:15,677 --> 00:04:17,594
just say, "Hey, we found a bug,"
95
00:04:17,596 --> 00:04:20,413
and we report it
so it can be fixed.
96
00:04:20,415 --> 00:04:22,382
You mean like a beta test?
97
00:04:22,384 --> 00:04:25,435
Well, technically,
this would be an alpha test.
98
00:04:25,437 --> 00:04:27,771
A beta test requires people
that weren't involved
99
00:04:27,773 --> 00:04:29,088
in the development
of the appli...
100
00:04:29,090 --> 00:04:32,108
Seriously, do I not get credit
for knowing beta test?
101
00:04:32,110 --> 00:04:33,860
No, you should.
102
00:04:33,862 --> 00:04:34,895
Absolutely.
103
00:04:34,897 --> 00:04:36,262
That was me being pedantic.
104
00:04:36,264 --> 00:04:38,532
That's our first bug.
105
00:04:38,534 --> 00:04:39,933
You reported it.
106
00:04:39,935 --> 00:04:41,117
I can fix that.
107
00:04:41,119 --> 00:04:42,452
See? This is good.
108
00:04:42,454 --> 00:04:43,870
All right.
109
00:04:43,872 --> 00:04:45,104
Let's give it a shot.
110
00:04:45,106 --> 00:04:47,106
Great. You keep a list,
I'll keep a list.
111
00:04:47,108 --> 00:04:48,441
At some point, we'll exchange.
112
00:04:48,443 --> 00:04:50,877
Okay.
113
00:04:50,879 --> 00:04:53,446
- Good night, Leonard.
- Night.
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00:04:57,969 --> 00:04:59,452
Attaboy, Hofstadter.
115
00:04:59,454 --> 00:05:01,004
Nothing gets the ladies hotter
116
00:05:01,006 --> 00:05:04,290
than software development
analogies.
117
00:05:05,826 --> 00:05:07,293
Hey, I'm back.
118
00:05:07,295 --> 00:05:08,929
Cut.
119
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,452
Take 47.
120
00:05:18,406 --> 00:05:21,408
Here's an interesting
fact about flags.
121
00:05:21,410 --> 00:05:23,643
I will take that action.
122
00:05:23,645 --> 00:05:25,662
The flags
of Liechtenstein and Haiti
123
00:05:25,664 --> 00:05:28,064
were identical by coincidence,
124
00:05:28,066 --> 00:05:30,316
a fact that wasn't discovered
until they competed
125
00:05:30,318 --> 00:05:32,986
against each other
at the 1936 Olympics.
126
00:05:32,988 --> 00:05:33,954
And thankfully,
127
00:05:33,956 --> 00:05:35,422
their embarrassment
was overshadowed
128
00:05:35,424 --> 00:05:37,841
by the rise of Fascism.
129
00:05:40,511 --> 00:05:41,928
Let's see the new phone.
130
00:05:41,930 --> 00:05:43,830
I stopped on the way to work.
131
00:05:43,832 --> 00:05:46,850
Hey, do you want to peel
the plastic off with me?
132
00:05:46,852 --> 00:05:48,718
Really?
133
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:51,187
Me?
134
00:05:51,189 --> 00:05:52,672
That's, like, the best part.
135
00:05:52,674 --> 00:05:53,940
Grab a corner.
136
00:05:55,176 --> 00:05:57,210
Whoa, what's your
hurry, cowboy?
137
00:05:58,195 --> 00:05:59,696
Savor the moment.
138
00:06:11,692 --> 00:06:14,244
Oh, yeah.
139
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:17,497
Speaking of cowboys,
140
00:06:17,499 --> 00:06:22,619
do you know what country has not
one but two cows on its flag?
141
00:06:22,621 --> 00:06:23,553
The tiny
142
00:06:23,555 --> 00:06:25,155
landlocked nation of Andorra.
143
00:06:25,157 --> 00:06:26,673
Oh, the next classic episode
144
00:06:26,675 --> 00:06:28,308
of Sheldon Cooper Presents:
Fun with Flags
145
00:06:28,310 --> 00:06:30,710
is writing itself.
146
00:06:32,013 --> 00:06:34,714
Oh, let me try
the voice recognition.
147
00:06:34,716 --> 00:06:37,867
Hey, I let you peel the plastic,
don't get greedy.
148
00:06:39,570 --> 00:06:41,988
Hello?
149
00:06:41,990 --> 00:06:43,707
Hello.
150
00:06:45,576 --> 00:06:47,577
What's your name?
151
00:06:47,579 --> 00:06:49,613
My name? It's Siri.
152
00:06:49,615 --> 00:06:51,064
Look at that.
153
00:06:51,066 --> 00:06:54,134
There's finally a woman in
your life you can talk to.
154
00:06:54,136 --> 00:06:56,119
Are you single?
155
00:06:56,121 --> 00:06:58,638
I don't have a marital status,
156
00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:00,740
if that's what you're asking.
157
00:07:00,742 --> 00:07:02,792
Yeah, you're right,
that's too personal.
158
00:07:02,794 --> 00:07:04,844
We hardly know each other.
159
00:07:06,448 --> 00:07:07,847
How about a cup of coffee?
160
00:07:07,849 --> 00:07:10,350
I've found six coffee shops.
161
00:07:10,352 --> 00:07:13,553
Three of them
are fairly close to you.
162
00:07:13,555 --> 00:07:16,756
I will see you
gentlemen later.
163
00:07:21,228 --> 00:07:24,798
She is gonna break his heart.
164
00:07:31,123 --> 00:07:32,756
For someone
who has a machine
165
00:07:32,758 --> 00:07:34,691
that can travel anywhere
in time and space,
166
00:07:34,693 --> 00:07:38,828
Doctor Who sure does have
a thing for modern-day London.
167
00:07:38,830 --> 00:07:41,665
Careful, it's that kind of sass
168
00:07:41,667 --> 00:07:45,485
that can get a person uninvited
to this year's Who Con.
169
00:07:47,287 --> 00:07:49,389
Uh, we're not counting
this as a date,
170
00:07:49,391 --> 00:07:51,174
are we?
171
00:07:51,176 --> 00:07:53,910
Um, I'm not sure,
172
00:07:53,912 --> 00:07:57,981
but I think the right
answer here is "no."
173
00:07:57,983 --> 00:08:01,685
Bug report: When a guy asks me
to spend time with him,
174
00:08:01,687 --> 00:08:03,653
maybe he plans something
a little more interesting
175
00:08:03,655 --> 00:08:06,156
than hanging out at home,
watching TV.
176
00:08:06,158 --> 00:08:09,976
Even Doctor Who?
177
00:08:09,978 --> 00:08:11,194
Even Doctor Who.
178
00:08:11,196 --> 00:08:12,311
All right, that's it.
179
00:08:12,313 --> 00:08:14,631
Who Con-- you're out.
180
00:08:15,916 --> 00:08:18,952
Okay, bug report taken.
181
00:08:18,954 --> 00:08:21,037
Next time I will
have a better plan
182
00:08:21,039 --> 00:08:22,372
for our evening's activity.
183
00:08:22,374 --> 00:08:24,490
Well, thank you.
I'll see you tomorrow.
184
00:08:24,492 --> 00:08:27,627
Oh, wait, here,
almost forgot.
185
00:08:27,629 --> 00:08:28,962
Here.
186
00:08:28,964 --> 00:08:30,013
What's this?
187
00:08:30,015 --> 00:08:31,497
My bug report to you.
188
00:08:38,005 --> 00:08:42,341
Well, that's quite
a list you got there.
189
00:08:42,343 --> 00:08:44,060
It's color coded.
190
00:08:44,062 --> 00:08:45,812
Oh.
191
00:08:45,814 --> 00:08:48,565
Uh, red means
"fix right away."
192
00:08:48,567 --> 00:08:51,201
Yellow is
193
00:08:51,203 --> 00:08:53,820
"eh, whenever you
get a chance."
194
00:08:53,822 --> 00:08:54,871
And green,
195
00:08:54,873 --> 00:08:57,540
is "I could probably
learn to live with it."
196
00:08:57,542 --> 00:09:00,293
There's a key down
here at the bottom.
197
00:09:00,295 --> 00:09:02,212
It's neat, huh?
198
00:09:03,749 --> 00:09:06,382
Yep.
199
00:09:06,384 --> 00:09:09,368
So, have a good night.
200
00:09:10,704 --> 00:09:13,957
Yep.
201
00:09:15,009 --> 00:09:16,676
Look at that.
202
00:09:16,678 --> 00:09:19,429
Some day, we will tell
future generations
203
00:09:19,431 --> 00:09:21,064
that dating used to be hard.
204
00:09:21,982 --> 00:09:24,484
What's baffling me
is what you
205
00:09:24,486 --> 00:09:26,219
could've possibly put
on the list.
206
00:09:26,221 --> 00:09:28,571
"Hair too golden"?
207
00:09:28,573 --> 00:09:30,406
"Laugh too musical"?
208
00:09:31,575 --> 00:09:33,226
"World too much a better place
209
00:09:33,228 --> 00:09:35,328
for her mere presence in it"?
210
00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:37,614
How about "constantly talks
211
00:09:37,616 --> 00:09:39,565
with food in her mouth"?
212
00:09:39,567 --> 00:09:42,886
Her heart's full of love, no
one cares what's in her mouth.
213
00:09:47,407 --> 00:09:51,911
So, Siri, what's happening?
214
00:09:51,913 --> 00:09:53,746
How are you?
215
00:09:53,748 --> 00:09:56,316
I am well.
216
00:09:56,318 --> 00:09:58,651
What are you doing right now?
217
00:09:58,653 --> 00:10:00,820
What am I doing?
218
00:10:00,822 --> 00:10:02,739
I'm talking with you.
219
00:10:02,741 --> 00:10:06,142
You have a beautiful voice.
220
00:10:06,144 --> 00:10:11,397
Thank you,
it's nice to be appreciated.
221
00:10:11,399 --> 00:10:14,684
I bet it is.
222
00:10:14,686 --> 00:10:17,086
Why don't women like me?
223
00:10:17,088 --> 00:10:21,774
Let me check on that.
224
00:10:21,776 --> 00:10:25,578
How about a Web search
for "Why don't women like me?"
225
00:10:25,580 --> 00:10:27,630
No need.
226
00:10:27,632 --> 00:10:30,250
I've already done that.
227
00:10:30,252 --> 00:10:33,219
Siri, do you have a last name?
228
00:10:33,221 --> 00:10:35,421
My name is Siri.
229
00:10:35,423 --> 00:10:37,507
Ah, one name.
230
00:10:37,509 --> 00:10:40,459
Like, uh, Cher,
Madonna, Adele.
231
00:10:40,461 --> 00:10:44,848
All the women who rock me.
232
00:10:44,850 --> 00:10:47,767
My name is Rajesh,
but you can call me Raj.
233
00:10:47,769 --> 00:10:51,004
Would you like me
to call you Raj?
234
00:10:51,006 --> 00:10:54,073
I'd like you
to call me sexy.
235
00:10:54,075 --> 00:10:57,794
From now on, I'll call you sexy.
236
00:10:57,796 --> 00:11:00,763
Okay?
237
00:11:00,765 --> 00:11:02,999
Okay!
238
00:11:10,009 --> 00:11:13,551
Siri, I'm in the mood for gelato.
239
00:11:13,553 --> 00:11:16,854
I found ten restaurants
whose reviews mention gelato.
240
00:11:16,856 --> 00:11:19,290
Seven of them
are fairly close to you.
241
00:11:19,292 --> 00:11:21,876
Thank you, darling.
242
00:11:21,878 --> 00:11:26,163
You are most certainly
welcome, sexy.
243
00:11:27,949 --> 00:11:31,652
Well done,
Dr. Koothrappali.
244
00:11:31,654 --> 00:11:32,954
I'm sorry?
245
00:11:32,956 --> 00:11:35,556
You've taken a great
evolutionary leap
246
00:11:35,558 --> 00:11:38,626
by abandoning human interaction
and allowing yourself
247
00:11:38,628 --> 00:11:41,812
to romantically bond
with a soulless machine.
248
00:11:42,664 --> 00:11:44,832
Kudos.
249
00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:46,968
I haven't bonded with it.
250
00:11:46,970 --> 00:11:48,352
Oh, no, of course.
251
00:11:48,354 --> 00:11:49,820
I understand.
252
00:11:49,822 --> 00:11:52,773
You're afraid the world
isn't ready for your taboo love.
253
00:11:52,775 --> 00:11:54,992
Your secret's safe with me.
254
00:11:54,994 --> 00:11:57,144
It's just a phone.
255
00:12:02,050 --> 00:12:04,318
Cooper.
256
00:12:06,121 --> 00:12:08,422
Kripke.
257
00:12:08,424 --> 00:12:09,824
Heads up.
258
00:12:09,826 --> 00:12:12,927
Professor Rothman urinated in
the particle physics wab again,
259
00:12:12,929 --> 00:12:16,330
so we're going to move up
his wetirement party.
260
00:12:16,332 --> 00:12:19,016
Fwiday, 5:00-- pot wuck.
261
00:12:19,851 --> 00:12:20,885
Thanks, Barry.
262
00:12:20,887 --> 00:12:22,002
Siri, remind me
263
00:12:22,004 --> 00:12:24,355
Friday morning
to make my famous popovers.
264
00:12:24,357 --> 00:12:27,158
All right, I'll remind you.
265
00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:28,309
You got Siwi, huh?
266
00:12:28,311 --> 00:12:30,478
Voice wecognition
on that thing is terrible.
267
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,179
Wook.
268
00:12:32,181 --> 00:12:35,616
Siwi, can you wecommend
a westauwant?
269
00:12:37,469 --> 00:12:40,071
I'm sorry, Bawwy.
270
00:12:42,157 --> 00:12:46,193
I don't understand
"wecommend a westauwant."
271
00:12:50,248 --> 00:12:51,549
Wisten to me.
272
00:12:51,551 --> 00:12:54,201
Not westauwant; westauwant.
273
00:12:55,437 --> 00:12:57,138
I don't know what you mean
274
00:12:57,140 --> 00:13:00,341
by "not westauwant; westauwant."
275
00:13:00,343 --> 00:13:02,226
See? Total cwap.
276
00:13:02,228 --> 00:13:04,762
You suck, Siwi.
277
00:13:04,764 --> 00:13:06,263
Hey, don't talk to her
like that.
278
00:13:06,265 --> 00:13:07,682
She's a lady.
279
00:13:07,684 --> 00:13:10,851
Well, that wady
took high-wes pictures
280
00:13:10,853 --> 00:13:13,220
of my junk wast night
for Cwaigswist.
281
00:13:13,222 --> 00:13:14,889
Waiter.
282
00:13:18,827 --> 00:13:21,078
It's open.
283
00:13:21,947 --> 00:13:23,331
Hey.
284
00:13:23,333 --> 00:13:24,281
You ready to go?
285
00:13:24,283 --> 00:13:25,416
Yeah, hang on.
286
00:13:25,418 --> 00:13:27,652
Let me just finish this chapter.
287
00:13:27,654 --> 00:13:29,036
Can you finish it later?
288
00:13:29,038 --> 00:13:30,421
No, I can't.
289
00:13:30,423 --> 00:13:34,091
Reading books is a big part of
my life now because, you know,
290
00:13:34,093 --> 00:13:38,245
we'd have more fun things
to talk about if I read more.
291
00:13:40,582 --> 00:13:42,800
Great. Good. Great.
292
00:13:42,802 --> 00:13:44,268
What are you reading?
293
00:13:44,270 --> 00:13:47,304
Two Weeks to Rock Hard Abs.
294
00:13:47,306 --> 00:13:49,106
They kind of spoil the ending
295
00:13:49,108 --> 00:13:51,475
right in the name of that,
don't they?
296
00:13:52,310 --> 00:13:53,694
All right.
297
00:13:53,696 --> 00:13:56,347
Look, just remember
how this works.
298
00:13:56,349 --> 00:13:58,883
We don't get mad
about these things.
299
00:13:58,885 --> 00:14:00,368
Uh, speaking of which,
I've addressed
300
00:14:00,370 --> 00:14:02,453
your bug report on
my date planning.
301
00:14:02,455 --> 00:14:04,288
Got a really fun
evening for you.
302
00:14:04,290 --> 00:14:05,589
It's kind of a surprise.
303
00:14:05,591 --> 00:14:07,274
All right. Terrific.
304
00:14:07,276 --> 00:14:10,161
Well, let me just go find a pair
of shoes that aren't so tall.
305
00:14:10,163 --> 00:14:12,213
We wouldn't want you
to feel like you were
306
00:14:12,215 --> 00:14:14,565
out for a walk with your mommy.
307
00:14:17,118 --> 00:14:19,253
Thank you.
Yeah.
308
00:14:19,255 --> 00:14:20,621
Oh.
309
00:14:20,623 --> 00:14:23,007
Here's my list
for you-- right there.
310
00:14:29,097 --> 00:14:32,183
All right, fair enough.
311
00:14:32,185 --> 00:14:35,302
I certainly can be quieter
when we kiss.
312
00:14:36,238 --> 00:14:38,239
I thought it was an expression
of passion,
313
00:14:38,241 --> 00:14:40,708
but if it's coming across
as "juicy and weird,"
314
00:14:40,710 --> 00:14:42,860
who wants that?
315
00:14:46,131 --> 00:14:47,981
Uh, uh... I'm sorry.
316
00:14:47,983 --> 00:14:52,086
Can you be more specific
on how my eyebrows are "stupid"?
317
00:14:56,157 --> 00:14:58,976
Na, never mind.
It's right here.
318
00:15:01,179 --> 00:15:02,930
Good timing.
319
00:15:02,932 --> 00:15:04,098
Dinner's almost ready.
320
00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:05,349
Great.
321
00:15:05,351 --> 00:15:07,167
Oh, smells
amazing in here.
322
00:15:07,169 --> 00:15:08,502
Oh, what are we eating?
323
00:15:08,504 --> 00:15:10,020
Oh, an exotic little treat.
324
00:15:10,022 --> 00:15:12,556
I was just talking to Siri
about Peking duck,
325
00:15:12,558 --> 00:15:14,975
and she said she knew
about four Chinese grocers,
326
00:15:14,977 --> 00:15:17,845
two of which were
fairly close to me.
327
00:15:17,847 --> 00:15:20,030
Her spontaneity
is contagious.
328
00:15:21,566 --> 00:15:23,534
Who's Siri?
329
00:15:23,536 --> 00:15:24,869
Is he dating somebody new?
330
00:15:24,871 --> 00:15:27,705
Yes. His phone.
331
00:15:27,707 --> 00:15:30,023
Oh.
332
00:15:30,025 --> 00:15:32,543
Is that cute
or creepy?
333
00:15:32,545 --> 00:15:35,045
Uh-huh.
334
00:15:36,498 --> 00:15:37,948
Can I pour you
some wine?
335
00:15:37,950 --> 00:15:39,083
I think you'll
enjoy it.
336
00:15:39,085 --> 00:15:40,301
The traditional
choice
337
00:15:40,303 --> 00:15:42,336
with Peking duck
is a sauvignon blanc,
338
00:15:42,338 --> 00:15:45,339
but Siri suggested
an off-dry Riesling.
339
00:15:45,341 --> 00:15:46,507
I wasn't sure,
340
00:15:46,509 --> 00:15:48,425
but I didn't want
to have an argument
341
00:15:48,427 --> 00:15:50,761
with her in the middle
of Trader Joe's.
342
00:15:53,098 --> 00:15:57,885
Now, what should we
put Siri in for dinner?
343
00:15:57,887 --> 00:16:01,605
Leopard, sparkles, or
344
00:16:01,607 --> 00:16:03,991
to paraphrase Coco Chanel,
345
00:16:03,993 --> 00:16:07,695
you can never go wrong
with a little black case?
346
00:16:10,916 --> 00:16:13,334
Siri, play some smooth jazz.
347
00:16:13,336 --> 00:16:16,053
Playing smooth jazz.
348
00:16:19,024 --> 00:16:22,259
Oh, my God, Kenny G?!
349
00:16:22,261 --> 00:16:24,962
This woman can read me
like a book.
350
00:16:26,231 --> 00:16:28,365
I can't believe
I bought my soul mate
351
00:16:28,367 --> 00:16:30,584
at Glendale Galleria.
352
00:16:35,473 --> 00:16:38,592
I don't know if
I want to stay.
353
00:16:47,986 --> 00:16:49,436
This is amazing.
354
00:16:49,438 --> 00:16:51,155
How did you even get
this idea?
355
00:16:51,157 --> 00:16:52,323
I called your dad.
356
00:16:52,325 --> 00:16:53,574
I asked him what things
357
00:16:53,576 --> 00:16:55,709
you liked to do
when you were a kid.
358
00:16:55,711 --> 00:16:57,995
This seemed easier
than getting a cow out here
359
00:16:57,997 --> 00:17:00,297
so you could tip it.
360
00:17:02,384 --> 00:17:04,802
Okay, you're kind of
really great.
361
00:17:04,804 --> 00:17:06,337
You mean for a person
whose neck massages
362
00:17:06,339 --> 00:17:09,506
feel like an eagle is trying
to carry you to its nest?
363
00:17:10,342 --> 00:17:11,876
Okay, bug report.
364
00:17:11,878 --> 00:17:13,060
I just complimented you.
365
00:17:13,062 --> 00:17:14,712
You should take it and shut up.
366
00:17:14,714 --> 00:17:15,980
Right. Sorry, sorry.
367
00:17:15,982 --> 00:17:17,481
And stop apologizing
all the time.
368
00:17:17,483 --> 00:17:19,683
Right. Sorry.
369
00:17:19,685 --> 00:17:21,235
All right,
let's shoot stuff.
370
00:17:21,237 --> 00:17:23,320
You want me to show you
what to do?
371
00:17:23,322 --> 00:17:26,023
I play a lot of
Grand Theft Auto.
372
00:17:26,025 --> 00:17:28,742
I think I know how
to handle a gat.
373
00:17:28,744 --> 00:17:31,445
Wow. You are cute
when you get all gangsta.
374
00:17:33,449 --> 00:17:35,816
Ooh!
375
00:17:43,792 --> 00:17:46,159
So, I've got a
gunshot wound.
376
00:17:47,545 --> 00:17:50,180
That's pretty
bad-ass.
377
00:17:50,182 --> 00:17:52,850
No, you've got a Reebok
with a gunshot wound
378
00:17:52,852 --> 00:17:54,852
and an ouchie on your pinkie toe.
379
00:17:56,856 --> 00:17:58,973
Hello? They gave
me a Band-Aid.
380
00:17:58,975 --> 00:18:00,340
Hospitals do not
issue Band-Aids
381
00:18:00,342 --> 00:18:01,892
unless it is
medically necessary.
382
00:18:01,894 --> 00:18:03,210
That is the law.
383
00:18:05,514 --> 00:18:08,449
Well, thank you
for a really cool evening.
384
00:18:08,451 --> 00:18:10,517
Thank you for hiding
my Star Wars socks
385
00:18:10,519 --> 00:18:12,536
at the emergency room.
386
00:18:14,356 --> 00:18:17,324
Is it a good time to
evaluate the beta test
387
00:18:17,326 --> 00:18:18,909
and see where we stand?
388
00:18:18,911 --> 00:18:21,412
Things are looking good.
389
00:18:21,414 --> 00:18:23,130
So, are we still
taking things slow?
390
00:18:23,132 --> 00:18:24,498
Because a gunshot
wound today,
391
00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:27,251
and last week, I slammed my
thumb in the kitchen drawer.
392
00:18:27,253 --> 00:18:29,453
We don't know how
much time I have.
393
00:18:30,338 --> 00:18:32,205
Good night, you.
394
00:18:48,356 --> 00:18:50,891
Guten Tag, das YouTube.
395
00:18:50,893 --> 00:18:53,894
Ich bin ein Bavarian.
396
00:18:53,896 --> 00:18:56,230
Und ich bin eine pretzel!
397
00:18:57,999 --> 00:19:00,367
Und dis is Sheldon
Cooper Presents: Fun...
398
00:19:00,369 --> 00:19:01,785
Mit...
Flags.
399
00:19:01,787 --> 00:19:05,787
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
400
00:19:12,378 --> 00:19:13,995
First door on the left.
401
00:19:13,997 --> 00:19:16,164
Thank you.
402
00:19:22,421 --> 00:19:26,508
Dave, I found six vacuum cleaner
repair shops in your area.
403
00:19:26,510 --> 00:19:29,010
Four are fairly close to you.
404
00:19:32,281 --> 00:19:33,965
Hello, sexy.
405
00:19:33,967 --> 00:19:36,468
What can I help you with?
406
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:47,579
If you'd like to make
love to me, just tell me.
407
00:19:53,237 --> 00:19:56,037
I'm sorry. I don't
understand...
408
00:19:59,592 --> 00:20:01,826
No!