1
00:00:00,490 --> 00:00:02,770
You feel like trying
something new for dinner?
2
00:00:02,780 --> 00:00:05,080
Maybe Indian, Tex-Mex?
3
00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:07,210
You ever wonder how
humans would be different
4
00:00:07,210 --> 00:00:10,420
if they evolved from lizards
instead of mammals?
5
00:00:12,450 --> 00:00:14,670
Okay, let's talk
about that.
6
00:00:16,090 --> 00:00:18,810
As you know, lizards--
cold-blooded animals--
7
00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:20,890
lack the ability to
sense temperature.
8
00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:23,810
But they do move more
sluggishly when it's cold.
9
00:00:23,810 --> 00:00:26,480
So, lizard weathermen
would say things like,
10
00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:29,770
"Bring a sweater,
it's slow outside."
11
00:00:31,770 --> 00:00:34,860
I love my mind.
12
00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:36,410
We all do.
13
00:00:36,410 --> 00:00:37,810
Now, how about dinner?
14
00:00:37,810 --> 00:00:42,030
Oh, I would assume we'd enjoy
insects or smaller lizards.
15
00:00:42,030 --> 00:00:44,030
We could also pull each other's
tails off and grill them;
16
00:00:44,030 --> 00:00:46,030
they'll just grow back.
17
00:00:48,750 --> 00:00:49,820
Oh!
18
00:00:49,820 --> 00:00:53,710
My life-size cardboard
Mr. Spock is here!
19
00:00:53,710 --> 00:00:57,350
I know he wouldn't care for
an outburst of human emotion,
20
00:00:57,350 --> 00:01:00,180
but, oh, goodie, oh,
goodie, oh, goodie.
21
00:01:01,500 --> 00:01:06,670
Commander Spock requesting
permission to be unfolded.
22
00:01:06,670 --> 00:01:07,670
Excuse me.
23
00:01:07,670 --> 00:01:10,170
Permission granted, Commander.
24
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:14,360
Which is why the more
intelligent the monkey,
25
00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:16,980
the more feces they fling.
26
00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:20,450
(knocks)
Excuse me, Amy.
27
00:01:20,450 --> 00:01:22,490
Penny, do you have plans
for dinner tonight?
28
00:01:22,490 --> 00:01:23,850
Why, you guys going somewhere?
29
00:01:23,860 --> 00:01:24,990
No, I mean just you and me.
30
00:01:24,990 --> 00:01:28,240
You mean, like a date?
31
00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:30,160
Not like a date, a date.
32
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:34,330
Ooh...!
Ooh...!
33
00:01:34,330 --> 00:01:38,340
Um... o-okay.
34
00:01:38,340 --> 00:01:39,340
Sure.
35
00:01:39,340 --> 00:01:42,970
Ooh...!
Ooh...!
36
00:01:42,980 --> 00:01:44,230
SHELDON:
Oh, no!
37
00:01:44,230 --> 00:01:47,280
They sent the wrong Spock!
38
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:52,020
Live long and suck it,
Zachary Quinto.
39
00:01:52,020 --> 00:01:54,220
The Big Bang Theory S05E13
The Recombination Hypothesis
Original Air Date on January 19, 2012
40
00:02:21,260 --> 00:02:23,380
This is so exciting.
41
00:02:23,380 --> 00:02:25,050
If Leonard and Penny
get back together,
42
00:02:25,050 --> 00:02:27,260
Howard and I can go on
double dates with them.
43
00:02:27,270 --> 00:02:31,220
How come you never invite
Sheldon and me on a double date?
44
00:02:31,220 --> 00:02:34,550
Mm, uh...
45
00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:36,540
How's it going
in there, Penny?!
46
00:02:36,540 --> 00:02:38,540
PENNY:
Just a sec.
47
00:02:39,390 --> 00:02:42,400
Too much?
48
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:44,560
Yes.
No.
49
00:02:46,130 --> 00:02:49,070
Okay, just hang on.
50
00:02:49,070 --> 00:02:52,870
You just can't handle
her raw sexuality, can you?
51
00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:55,990
When did you and Leonard
break up?
52
00:02:55,990 --> 00:02:57,760
Uh, about two years ago.
53
00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,050
Why do you think
he asked you out again?
54
00:03:00,050 --> 00:03:01,000
I don't know.
55
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,230
Maybe he's dying.
56
00:03:02,230 --> 00:03:04,380
That would be so romantic.
57
00:03:04,390 --> 00:03:06,500
He's not dying.
58
00:03:06,510 --> 00:03:08,460
Too bad.
59
00:03:08,460 --> 00:03:10,960
If he were, she could just
throw him in bed
60
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:14,110
and ride him
right up until he flatlines.
61
00:03:16,980 --> 00:03:19,650
How about this?
62
00:03:19,650 --> 00:03:22,670
Maybe.
Come on.
63
00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:25,520
Yeah, okay, no.
64
00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,660
Do you think
you'll sleep with him tonight?
65
00:03:27,660 --> 00:03:28,990
PENNY:
Absolutely not.
66
00:03:28,990 --> 00:03:30,330
Look, we're just
gonna have dinner
67
00:03:30,330 --> 00:03:32,110
and, you know,
see how it goes.
68
00:03:32,110 --> 00:03:34,360
If he were dying,
would you sleep with him?
69
00:03:34,370 --> 00:03:35,980
What?!
70
00:03:35,980 --> 00:03:37,620
Assuming he were
dying of something
71
00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:40,340
that couldn't be
sexually transmitted.
72
00:03:40,340 --> 00:03:43,790
You know, like a spear wound
to the head.
73
00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,430
Okay, he is not dying.
74
00:03:45,430 --> 00:03:48,090
How do you know?
Are you a doctor?
75
00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:50,310
You can make-believe, though.
76
00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:53,470
Sometimes Howard and I pretend
that his arrhythmia is acting up
77
00:03:53,470 --> 00:03:55,170
and I'm a sexy cardiologist.
78
00:03:55,170 --> 00:04:00,390
And the naughty part is
I'm not in his HMO network.
79
00:04:02,140 --> 00:04:05,060
Screw it. I'm not gonna
make a big deal out of this.
80
00:04:05,060 --> 00:04:06,560
It's just dinner.
81
00:04:06,570 --> 00:04:08,280
With a dead man.
82
00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:09,850
(growls playfully)
83
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,820
Amy, stop it.
84
00:04:11,820 --> 00:04:13,200
Oh, God, I'm so nervous.
85
00:04:13,210 --> 00:04:14,490
BERNADETTE:
Relax.
86
00:04:14,490 --> 00:04:16,570
You know Leonard's
always been crazy about you.
87
00:04:16,580 --> 00:04:17,790
It's gonna be great.
88
00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:19,410
I know, but we've finally
gotten to a place
89
00:04:19,410 --> 00:04:21,040
where we can hang out
without it being weird.
90
00:04:21,050 --> 00:04:23,050
And what if something
goes wrong? Then what?
91
00:04:23,050 --> 00:04:24,820
Guess it'll just
be Sheldon and me
92
00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:27,670
going on a double date
with Howard and Bernadette.
93
00:04:27,670 --> 00:04:31,390
Sure, we'd love that.
94
00:04:31,390 --> 00:04:35,090
Change your clothes;
we got a lot riding on this.
95
00:04:40,060 --> 00:04:42,070
Mm...
96
00:04:42,070 --> 00:04:44,620
I want to build a road,
97
00:04:44,620 --> 00:04:47,720
but I need wood.
98
00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:49,960
Do either of you fellows
have wood?
99
00:04:56,250 --> 00:04:58,470
I don't understand the laughter.
100
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,230
The object of Settlers of Catan
101
00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:03,250
is to build roads
and settlements.
102
00:05:03,260 --> 00:05:04,700
To do so requires wood.
103
00:05:04,710 --> 00:05:08,230
Now, I have sheep; I need wood.
104
00:05:10,140 --> 00:05:12,260
Who has wood for my sheep?
105
00:05:12,260 --> 00:05:14,030
(both laughing)
106
00:05:15,250 --> 00:05:17,880
Okay, how do I look?
107
00:05:17,890 --> 00:05:20,550
More to the point, why
are you doing this?
108
00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:21,470
What are you talking about?
109
00:05:21,470 --> 00:05:22,940
Did you forget
what Penny did to you?
110
00:05:22,940 --> 00:05:25,190
It took you two years
and defiling my sister
111
00:05:25,190 --> 00:05:27,760
to turn that frown upside down.
112
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:31,100
I didn't defile your sister,
we had a relationship.
113
00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:34,630
I heard you call her
Brown Sugar.
114
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:37,470
In my book,
that's defilement.
115
00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:39,010
You want to know my opinion?
116
00:05:39,010 --> 00:05:41,440
Oh, boy, do I!
117
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,610
Sarcasm?
118
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,950
No.
119
00:05:45,950 --> 00:05:48,250
All right, then.
120
00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:50,950
The reason you're fixated on
121
00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:53,670
a good-natured simpleton
like Penny is that
122
00:05:53,670 --> 00:05:57,090
she's the exact opposite of
your first romantic attachment:
123
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,060
your brilliant
yet intimidating mother.
124
00:05:59,060 --> 00:06:01,310
Where on earth
did you get that from?
125
00:06:01,310 --> 00:06:04,680
It's in her book,
Needy Baby, Greedy Baby.
126
00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:08,800
That doesn't make it true.
127
00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:11,520
It's called nonfiction
for a reason, Leonard.
128
00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,790
See you later.
129
00:06:14,660 --> 00:06:16,440
If they ever make
a movie version
130
00:06:16,450 --> 00:06:19,030
of that book, you know who
should play Leonard's mother?
131
00:06:19,030 --> 00:06:20,710
Sandra Bullock.
132
00:06:21,330 --> 00:06:22,580
Why?
133
00:06:22,580 --> 00:06:26,440
Because she's great
in everything.
134
00:06:28,990 --> 00:06:31,290
Now, where were we?
135
00:06:31,290 --> 00:06:33,460
Oh, yes.
Does anyone have any wood?
136
00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:34,510
(both snickering)
137
00:06:34,510 --> 00:06:35,830
Oh, come on!
138
00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:37,630
I just want wood.
139
00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:39,430
Why are you making it so hard?
140
00:06:39,430 --> 00:06:40,980
(both laughing)
141
00:06:48,010 --> 00:06:50,840
So, do they have a name
for a first date
142
00:06:50,850 --> 00:06:52,730
with someone
you used to go out with?
143
00:06:52,730 --> 00:06:54,810
Oh, that's a good question.
144
00:06:54,820 --> 00:06:56,350
How about "awkward"?
145
00:06:56,350 --> 00:06:59,370
Yeah, that sounds right.
146
00:06:59,370 --> 00:07:01,150
Yeah?
147
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:04,910
Hey, how about if we pretend
we're actually on a first date?
148
00:07:04,910 --> 00:07:06,190
See how that goes.
149
00:07:06,190 --> 00:07:07,210
Okay.
150
00:07:07,210 --> 00:07:09,330
(clears throat)
151
00:07:09,330 --> 00:07:11,880
So, Polly,
tell me about yourself.
152
00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:12,920
(chuckles)
153
00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:13,920
It's Penny.
154
00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:15,870
Oh, sorry, yeah.
Awkward.
155
00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:18,200
(laughs)
156
00:07:18,210 --> 00:07:19,560
Okay, uh, let's see.
157
00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:22,810
I'm from Nebraska, and ever
since I was a little girl,
158
00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:25,400
I dreamed of moving to L.A.
and becoming a movie star.
159
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:26,980
Anyway,
160
00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:29,770
after four years of acting
lessons and waiting tables,
161
00:07:29,770 --> 00:07:31,720
I've done
a hemorrhoid commercial
162
00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:34,400
and a production of Anne Frank
above a bowling alley.
163
00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:35,520
(chuckles)
164
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:38,580
So, you know,
dreams do come true.
165
00:07:39,530 --> 00:07:40,490
Your turn.
166
00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:41,560
Uh, let's see.
167
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:42,750
(clears throat)
168
00:07:42,750 --> 00:07:45,060
Uh, I am an experimental
physicist at Cal-Tech,
169
00:07:45,070 --> 00:07:48,330
most of my research is
with high-powered lasers,
170
00:07:48,340 --> 00:07:50,670
and, oh, I've just gotten
a big government grant
171
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:53,010
to see if they can be used
to knock out
172
00:07:53,010 --> 00:07:54,120
incoming ballistic missiles.
173
00:07:54,130 --> 00:07:55,580
Wow. Can they?
174
00:07:55,580 --> 00:07:57,380
Oh, God, no.
175
00:08:00,910 --> 00:08:02,750
The money's pretty good.
176
00:08:03,930 --> 00:08:07,470
And I used the equipment
to make my own Bat-signal.
177
00:08:07,470 --> 00:08:08,610
(laughs)
178
00:08:08,610 --> 00:08:09,770
Bat-signal?
179
00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:11,220
What are you, some kind of nerd?
180
00:08:11,230 --> 00:08:14,980
Not some kind of nerd,
I'm the king of the nerds.
181
00:08:14,980 --> 00:08:16,450
(laughs)
182
00:08:18,820 --> 00:08:20,450
What does that mean?
183
00:08:20,450 --> 00:08:23,200
Uh, it means
if anyone displeases me,
184
00:08:23,210 --> 00:08:25,810
I don't help them
set up their printer.
185
00:08:25,810 --> 00:08:27,490
(laughs)
186
00:08:27,490 --> 00:08:28,990
You are so funny.
187
00:08:28,990 --> 00:08:30,210
Good.
188
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:32,130
Remember that
when I take my shirt off.
189
00:08:32,130 --> 00:08:33,330
(both laugh)
190
00:08:35,170 --> 00:08:36,220
Leonard, this is nice.
191
00:08:36,220 --> 00:08:37,500
I'm so glad we did this.
192
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:38,600
Me, too.
193
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:41,790
So what do you think?
194
00:08:41,790 --> 00:08:43,060
Are we gonna get back together?
195
00:08:43,060 --> 00:08:45,680
Whoa. Not so fast.
196
00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:47,530
I'm sorry, what did I say?
197
00:08:47,530 --> 00:08:51,260
Leonard, you know I will always
have feelings for you.
198
00:08:51,270 --> 00:08:52,820
Oh, God.
What?
199
00:08:52,820 --> 00:08:54,230
You said "always."
200
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:55,800
You'll always have
feelings for me.
201
00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:56,740
So?
202
00:08:56,740 --> 00:08:58,270
So, that sounds more like
203
00:08:58,270 --> 00:09:00,190
something you'd say
if you didn't want
204
00:09:00,190 --> 00:09:01,320
a relationship with someone.
205
00:09:01,330 --> 00:09:02,740
"This isn't working out,
206
00:09:02,740 --> 00:09:04,530
but I'll always have
feelings for you."
207
00:09:04,530 --> 00:09:06,410
"I'm sorry I slept
with your best friend,
208
00:09:06,410 --> 00:09:08,310
but I'll always have
feelings for you."
209
00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:09,780
"Here's the thing, Lisa,
210
00:09:09,790 --> 00:09:13,540
I'm into dudes now, but I'll
always have feelings for you."
211
00:09:13,540 --> 00:09:15,920
How would you say it?
212
00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:17,820
I have feelings for you.
213
00:09:17,830 --> 00:09:19,130
It's the same thing.
No, it's not.
214
00:09:19,130 --> 00:09:20,490
"Always" made it worse.
215
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:21,490
You're overthinking this.
216
00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:22,710
No, I'm not.
Yes, you are.
217
00:09:22,710 --> 00:09:24,130
You always overthink things.
218
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:25,850
Th-There you go.
"Always" made it worse.
219
00:09:27,620 --> 00:09:31,000
See, this is where everything
goes wrong: when we talk.
220
00:09:31,010 --> 00:09:35,780
Well, I don't know how you have
a relationship without talking.
221
00:09:35,780 --> 00:09:37,280
Hey, I went out with this guy TJ
222
00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:38,650
for eight months,
we never talked.
223
00:09:38,650 --> 00:09:40,860
To this day, I don't even know
what TJ stands for.
224
00:09:40,870 --> 00:09:43,520
Wait, if you guys
didn't talk, what--
225
00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:45,290
Never mind, stupid question.
226
00:09:48,540 --> 00:09:52,530
And now that I have
some wood,
227
00:09:52,530 --> 00:09:56,800
I'm going to begin
the erection of my settlement.
228
00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:00,420
He's got to be
doing this on purpose.
229
00:10:00,420 --> 00:10:01,970
(laughs)
230
00:10:03,890 --> 00:10:05,370
Ooh, 8:30.
231
00:10:05,370 --> 00:10:08,880
You and Penny decide to go out
and paint the town beige?
232
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:12,040
You're 30 years old
and you live with your mother.
233
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,880
I guess it didn't go well.
234
00:10:16,890 --> 00:10:18,420
We don't know that.
235
00:10:18,420 --> 00:10:19,570
Not to a certainty.
236
00:10:19,570 --> 00:10:22,320
All we know
is that Leonard is home.
237
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:25,240
(Leonard screams)
238
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,730
How about now?
239
00:10:27,730 --> 00:10:30,660
Again, not enough
evidence.
240
00:10:30,670 --> 00:10:33,700
For all we know,
he's being murdered.
241
00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:37,370
Now, back to our game.
242
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:40,720
You were in the middle
of an erection.
243
00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:47,100
Oh, of course.
It's right here in my hand.
244
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,860
(cell phone chimes)
245
00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:01,060
(grunting quietly)
246
00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:03,610
What does she want from me now?
247
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:09,270
What's up?
248
00:11:09,270 --> 00:11:11,770
Do not overthink this.
249
00:11:19,050 --> 00:11:22,130
I don't understand.
Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup.
250
00:11:22,130 --> 00:11:24,500
Okay, but earlier
it seemed like...
251
00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:26,720
No talking.
252
00:11:28,170 --> 00:11:30,960
Even during? 'Cause
sometimes I have questions.
253
00:11:36,850 --> 00:11:39,750
(panting)
254
00:11:39,750 --> 00:11:43,100
Well, that was fun.
255
00:11:43,100 --> 00:11:45,890
Yeah, except for when I got
the foot cramp.
256
00:11:45,890 --> 00:11:47,590
You hung in there, though.
257
00:11:47,590 --> 00:11:50,390
There was a lot at stake.
258
00:11:50,390 --> 00:11:53,130
So what do you
want to do now?
259
00:11:53,130 --> 00:11:55,710
Well, I want to go get
my asthma inhaler,
260
00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:57,920
but it might ruin the moment.
261
00:11:57,920 --> 00:11:59,730
(grunts)
262
00:11:59,740 --> 00:12:02,740
Just, just
help me out here.
263
00:12:02,740 --> 00:12:05,410
How does a miserable date
end in sex?
264
00:12:05,410 --> 00:12:07,990
I don't know,
it's complicated.
265
00:12:07,990 --> 00:12:09,740
Well, I'm
a pretty smart guy,
266
00:12:09,750 --> 00:12:12,130
and right now my brain has
dibs on the blood supply,
267
00:12:12,130 --> 00:12:14,130
so give it a go.
268
00:12:14,130 --> 00:12:16,750
Okay, it's just,
269
00:12:16,750 --> 00:12:18,670
at the restaurant
when you said
270
00:12:18,670 --> 00:12:20,090
you wanted us to
be together again,
271
00:12:20,090 --> 00:12:24,910
it got very real very
fast and I panicked.
272
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:26,140
Why?
273
00:12:26,150 --> 00:12:28,210
What are you
afraid of?
274
00:12:28,210 --> 00:12:29,930
Well, what if
we do go out
275
00:12:29,930 --> 00:12:32,520
and I do something stupid
and dump you again?
276
00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:33,820
What if I dump you?
277
00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:34,970
(scoffs)
278
00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:40,780
Come on, be serious.
279
00:12:40,780 --> 00:12:43,280
Well, how about
if we don't think
280
00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:45,250
about this
as a relationship?
281
00:12:45,250 --> 00:12:47,780
It could be more like
a new version of software.
282
00:12:47,780 --> 00:12:49,780
Penny and Leonard 2.0.
283
00:12:49,790 --> 00:12:52,300
We can test it internally,
shake out the bugs,
284
00:12:52,310 --> 00:12:54,110
and if we both feel
it's solid,
285
00:12:54,110 --> 00:12:56,790
then we'll roll it out
to the public.
286
00:12:56,790 --> 00:12:59,740
So we don't tell people
we're back together?
287
00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:00,710
Exactly.
288
00:13:00,710 --> 00:13:02,800
We pretend like our date
went badly.
289
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,950
Well, we don't really
have to pretend.
290
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:07,220
And we let them think
that we decided
291
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,390
to just be friends
292
00:13:08,390 --> 00:13:10,300
and that everything's cool.
293
00:13:10,310 --> 00:13:11,840
Okay, great.
294
00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:12,840
(grunts softly)
295
00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:15,010
Hey, I just remembered.
296
00:13:15,010 --> 00:13:17,290
I still got one
of your inhalers.
297
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,600
I can't believe
you kept this.
298
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:24,270
Yeah, I was gonna throw it
away, but I just couldn't.
299
00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:26,850
That is so sweet.
300
00:13:26,860 --> 00:13:29,020
(sighs)
301
00:13:30,790 --> 00:13:33,130
In 25 to 30 minutes
I'm gonna show you
302
00:13:33,130 --> 00:13:35,730
how much
this means to me.
303
00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:40,200
(toilet flushes)
304
00:13:47,180 --> 00:13:47,830
Leonard?
305
00:13:47,830 --> 00:13:50,010
Yeah, hi, hi.
306
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:52,930
How's it going?
307
00:13:52,930 --> 00:13:54,630
Uh, can't complain.
308
00:13:54,630 --> 00:13:56,600
Thanks for asking.
309
00:13:57,690 --> 00:14:00,810
Well, what were you doing out
at 3:00 in the morning?
310
00:14:00,810 --> 00:14:04,680
Well, uh, uh...
what are you doing up?
311
00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:07,280
I was using the bathroom.
312
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:11,150
Yeah, well, so was I.
313
00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:13,280
Really?
314
00:14:13,290 --> 00:14:15,990
I didn't see you in there.
315
00:14:17,740 --> 00:14:21,910
Obviously... when I saw
that you were in ours,
316
00:14:21,910 --> 00:14:25,300
I went and used another one.
317
00:14:26,130 --> 00:14:29,000
Where?
318
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,920
The, the gas station
across the street.
319
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:34,870
In your pajamas?
320
00:14:34,870 --> 00:14:37,430
Yes.
321
00:14:37,430 --> 00:14:39,640
Without shoes?
322
00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:43,100
Yes.
323
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,770
On a cold
winter's night?
324
00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:50,820
Yes.
325
00:14:53,610 --> 00:14:55,830
Seems unlikely.
326
00:14:55,830 --> 00:14:58,110
Did you bring
your asthma inhaler?
327
00:14:58,110 --> 00:15:01,500
Uh, uh, uh, yes, I did.
328
00:15:04,740 --> 00:15:06,950
Well, then,
I guess it's plausible.
329
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,120
D-- hang on a
second, mister.
330
00:15:10,130 --> 00:15:11,340
What?
331
00:15:11,340 --> 00:15:16,060
After you used the facilities
at the gas station,
332
00:15:16,070 --> 00:15:17,430
did you make a purchase?
333
00:15:17,430 --> 00:15:19,130
What?
334
00:15:19,140 --> 00:15:21,720
It's customary, when
using the restroom
335
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:25,190
at a retail establishment,
to make a small purchase.
336
00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:26,270
Did you?
337
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:27,730
No.
338
00:15:27,730 --> 00:15:29,090
(scoffs)
339
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:31,280
Here's two dollars.
340
00:15:34,070 --> 00:15:36,950
Go buy some beef jerky.
341
00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:46,440
I don't want beef jerky.
342
00:15:48,650 --> 00:15:50,580
It's not about you.
343
00:15:50,580 --> 00:15:53,130
It's about a poor immigrant
from Pakistan
344
00:15:53,140 --> 00:15:54,950
trying to make his way
in America
345
00:15:54,950 --> 00:15:56,390
by working the graveyard shift
346
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:59,060
at the Colorado Boulevard
Chevron.
347
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,140
Fine.
348
00:16:05,260 --> 00:16:08,230
Needy Baby, Greedy Baby indeed.
349
00:16:10,300 --> 00:16:11,900
Leonard will be here
in a moment.
350
00:16:11,900 --> 00:16:14,440
He's looking
for a different parking space.
351
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:15,410
Why?
352
00:16:15,410 --> 00:16:16,770
We were next to a car
353
00:16:16,780 --> 00:16:19,360
with an "Ask me about my
grandchildren" bumper sticker,
354
00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:22,080
and I was afraid if we ran
into them on the way out,
355
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:24,700
I'd be obligated
to do so.
356
00:16:25,980 --> 00:16:29,490
I'm so disappointed it didn't
work with him and Penny.
357
00:16:29,490 --> 00:16:31,160
Me, too.
358
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,320
Out of deference
to them,
359
00:16:32,330 --> 00:16:35,790
let's not flaunt our
happy relationship.
360
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:38,130
You have a keen insight
into the human heart,
361
00:16:38,130 --> 00:16:40,580
Amy Farrah Fowler.
362
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:45,890
We are next to a Suburu with
a Gore/Lieberman bumper sticker.
363
00:16:45,890 --> 00:16:48,610
Well, I doubt they'd want to
talk about that, so we're fine.
364
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:51,840
I'm surprised to see you here
365
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:54,150
after it went
so badly with Penny.
366
00:16:54,150 --> 00:16:55,780
Well, hey, we're grown-ups.
367
00:16:55,780 --> 00:16:57,230
We can still be friends.
368
00:16:57,230 --> 00:16:59,530
Boy, I don't know if I
could be friends with Howie
369
00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:00,940
if we broke up.
370
00:17:00,940 --> 00:17:01,790
Why not?
371
00:17:01,790 --> 00:17:04,610
I'm a very vengeful person.
372
00:17:04,610 --> 00:17:07,070
Really?
373
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:10,160
With access
to weaponized smallpox.
374
00:17:12,210 --> 00:17:14,170
Here you go, guys, let me get
you going with some water.
375
00:17:14,170 --> 00:17:15,750
You need menus
or you know what you want?
376
00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:17,200
Leonard knows what he wants,
but it looks
377
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,150
like he's not gonna
get it from you.
378
00:17:20,210 --> 00:17:21,710
Howard.
No,
379
00:17:21,710 --> 00:17:23,090
that's okay, Bernadette.
380
00:17:23,090 --> 00:17:25,340
Sometimes these things
just don't work out.
381
00:17:25,350 --> 00:17:26,810
Yeah, it's all good.
382
00:17:26,810 --> 00:17:29,760
We-We'll always have
feelings for each other.
383
00:17:31,380 --> 00:17:34,220
Oh, that's nice.
384
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:37,390
See, she knew
what "always" meant.
385
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:40,190
Wow, you're like a dog
with a bone, aren't you?
386
00:17:40,190 --> 00:17:42,410
I'm just making a point.
387
00:17:42,410 --> 00:17:44,900
Is the point that you don't know
when to let something go?
388
00:17:44,900 --> 00:17:45,750
People, people,
389
00:17:45,750 --> 00:17:47,250
please,
before you say
390
00:17:47,250 --> 00:17:48,830
something you
both regret,
391
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:50,670
I'd like to place my order.
392
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:53,450
Yeah, just hang on, Sheldon.
393
00:17:53,460 --> 00:17:54,960
You know why we can't be
together?
394
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:56,410
Because you always have
to be right.
395
00:17:56,410 --> 00:17:57,910
Oh, that is not true.
396
00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,180
I got to go
with Leonard on this.
397
00:17:59,180 --> 00:18:01,680
He is wrong
more than anyone I know.
398
00:18:02,650 --> 00:18:04,350
You know what?
I just realized I'm on a break.
399
00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:05,600
I'll get someone else.
400
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:07,420
Well...
401
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:10,140
Leonard, promise me that when
our new waitress comes over,
402
00:18:10,140 --> 00:18:13,140
you will not start a complicated
on-again, off-again relationship
403
00:18:13,140 --> 00:18:15,890
with her,
because I am very, very hungry.
404
00:18:18,350 --> 00:18:21,400
(grunting quietly)
405
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:23,600
(phone chimes)
406
00:18:27,460 --> 00:18:29,660
Unbelievable.
407
00:18:33,660 --> 00:18:35,300
Mind explaining to me
why you were being
408
00:18:35,300 --> 00:18:36,830
such a jerk at the restaurant?
Well,
409
00:18:36,830 --> 00:18:38,720
I was trying to act like
we weren't seeing each other.
410
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:40,120
That was the plan, right?
No,
411
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,450
the plan was to tell people
we decided to stay friends.
412
00:18:42,460 --> 00:18:43,620
That's a little hard to do
413
00:18:43,620 --> 00:18:47,170
when you're always being
such a tool bag.
414
00:18:47,180 --> 00:18:49,980
You know what? I don't have to
stand here and take this crap.
415
00:18:49,980 --> 00:18:51,850
The hell do you think
you're going?
416
00:18:51,850 --> 00:18:55,020
Isn't sex after fighting
kind of what we do now?!
417
00:18:55,020 --> 00:18:57,520
Yeah, kind of, yeah.
418
00:19:05,610 --> 00:19:07,580
What are we doing?
419
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:08,780
What do you mean?
420
00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:12,500
Every scenario I play out
for you and me ends badly.
421
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:14,890
That's because you
overthink everything.
422
00:19:14,890 --> 00:19:17,150
SHELDON: Leonard, are you listening
to me?
423
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:18,590
What?
Yeah.
424
00:19:18,590 --> 00:19:20,590
This is a disaster.
425
00:19:20,590 --> 00:19:21,840
I distinctly ordered
426
00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:24,300
the Leonard Nimoy Mr.
Spock cardboard standee.
427
00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:25,850
Why would
I feel safer
428
00:19:25,850 --> 00:19:28,720
with Zachary Quinto
at the foot of my bed?
429
00:19:29,850 --> 00:19:34,100
I don't know, he was
pretty badass on Heroes.
430
00:19:34,110 --> 00:19:37,340
You're right, I'll
give him a shot.
431
00:19:39,310 --> 00:19:41,200
Hang on.
432
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:42,860
Penny, do you have
plans for dinner?
433
00:19:42,870 --> 00:19:44,480
Why, you guys going somewhere?
434
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:45,400
No, I mean just you and me.
435
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:49,200
Ooh...!
Ooh...!
436
00:19:49,210 --> 00:19:51,710
Uh, have you thought
this through?
437
00:19:51,710 --> 00:19:55,240
Yes, and I think
we should go anyway.
438
00:19:57,960 --> 00:19:58,880
No, can't do it.
439
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:00,750
Sorry, Quinto,
you're going back.
440
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:11,830
If you and Leonard
get back together,
441
00:20:11,830 --> 00:20:13,330
Sheldon and I
will finally have someone
442
00:20:13,330 --> 00:20:15,010
to go on double dates with.
443
00:20:15,020 --> 00:20:16,330
What about me and Howard?
444
00:20:16,330 --> 00:20:18,770
Fine, we can double
with you, too.
445
00:20:19,650 --> 00:20:21,970
So insecure.
446
00:20:23,110 --> 00:20:25,860
Where are you guys going to eat?
447
00:20:25,860 --> 00:20:28,680
Penny?
448
00:20:30,030 --> 00:20:35,200
Do you, Penny, take Leonard to
be your lawful wedded husband?
449
00:20:42,540 --> 00:20:44,260
Well, it's
a little late for me
450
00:20:44,260 --> 00:20:46,550
to start saying no,
isn't it?
451
00:20:48,050 --> 00:20:50,050
Penny.
452
00:20:50,050 --> 00:20:51,170
Sorry,
just remembered
453
00:20:51,170 --> 00:20:53,020
I've got to stop
at the drugstore.
454
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:57,080
== sync, corrected by