1
00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:03,117
(knocking)
2
00:00:03,142 --> 00:00:06,153
Hi. Did Sheldon change
the Wi-Fi password again?
3
00:00:06,705 --> 00:00:08,914
Yeah, it's
"Penny already eats our food.
4
00:00:08,915 --> 00:00:11,516
She can pay for Wi-Fi."
5
00:00:12,270 --> 00:00:13,637
No spaces.
6
00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:14,938
Okay.
7
00:00:14,940 --> 00:00:16,740
If you can't get me
to stop eating your food,
8
00:00:16,742 --> 00:00:18,775
what makes you think you can
get me to stop using your Wi-Fi?
9
00:00:18,777 --> 00:00:21,111
I believe that you're capable
of great change.
10
00:00:21,113 --> 00:00:25,515
Like when I finally got you
to stop saying "Valentimes Day""
11
00:00:26,618 --> 00:00:27,758
You want to hear
something weird?
12
00:00:27,783 --> 00:00:28,586
Sure.
13
00:00:28,587 --> 00:00:30,320
In the year 2000,
14
00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:35,626
Pope John Paul II was named
an honorary Harlem Globetrotter.
15
00:00:37,428 --> 00:00:39,830
What are you talking about?
16
00:00:39,832 --> 00:00:42,966
You asked Penny if she wanted
to hear something weird.
17
00:00:42,968 --> 00:00:45,569
Yeah, because I have
something weird to tell her.
18
00:00:45,571 --> 00:00:47,004
Oh.
19
00:00:47,006 --> 00:00:49,239
I thought it was a game.
20
00:00:50,074 --> 00:00:51,842
What's yours?
21
00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:53,977
There's this guy,
Jimmy Speckerman,
22
00:00:53,979 --> 00:00:56,213
who used to torment me
in high school.
23
00:00:56,215 --> 00:00:58,181
He sent me a message
through Facebook.
24
00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:00,550
He's in town
and wants to have drinks.
25
00:01:00,552 --> 00:01:03,620
Okay, Penny, if it were a game,
here are your choices.
26
00:01:03,622 --> 00:01:05,322
An e-mail
from an old acquaintance,
27
00:01:05,324 --> 00:01:08,225
or the head of one of the
largest religious institutions
28
00:01:08,227 --> 00:01:11,995
in the world slam dunking
to "Sweet Georgia Brown." Pick.
29
00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:18,101
Just do it,
'cause he's not gonna let it go.
30
00:01:18,103 --> 00:01:19,369
Basketball Pope.
31
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:21,438
And that's how it's done.
32
00:01:22,974 --> 00:01:24,808
What are you gonna do
about your bully?
33
00:01:24,810 --> 00:01:26,743
- Are you gonna see him?
- I don't know.
34
00:01:26,745 --> 00:01:30,113
Is this the fellow who peed
in your Hawaiian Punch?
35
00:01:30,115 --> 00:01:32,549
No, that was a different guy.
36
00:01:32,551 --> 00:01:34,985
Was he the one
who wedgied you so hard,
37
00:01:34,987 --> 00:01:36,253
your testicle reascended,
38
00:01:36,255 --> 00:01:38,021
and you spent
your whole Christmas break
39
00:01:38,023 --> 00:01:40,557
waiting for it
to come back down?
40
00:01:42,593 --> 00:01:45,829
No, that was
a different, different guy.
41
00:01:45,831 --> 00:01:49,833
Was he the one who used
your head to open a nut?
42
00:01:49,835 --> 00:01:51,902
No.
43
00:01:51,904 --> 00:01:53,603
Oh, oh, oh.
44
00:01:53,605 --> 00:01:56,773
Was he the one
who made you eat your arm hair?
45
00:01:57,842 --> 00:01:59,109
No, but, actually,
46
00:01:59,111 --> 00:02:00,911
that was this guy's sister.
47
00:02:00,913 --> 00:02:02,879
All right, well,
what do you think he wants?
48
00:02:02,881 --> 00:02:04,114
I don't know.
49
00:02:04,116 --> 00:02:06,183
You know, the holidays
are just around the corner.
50
00:02:06,185 --> 00:02:07,317
Maybe he wants to see
51
00:02:07,319 --> 00:02:09,186
if he can lodge
the other testicle up there.
52
00:02:09,188 --> 00:02:12,289
I told you.
That was a different guy.
53
00:02:12,291 --> 00:02:14,358
Hmm. That's too bad.
We could have spent
54
00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:17,194
New Year's Eve waiting
for the ball to drop.
55
00:02:24,135 --> 00:02:27,804
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
56
00:02:27,806 --> 00:02:31,108
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
57
00:02:31,110 --> 00:02:32,709
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
58
00:02:32,711 --> 00:02:35,245
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
59
00:02:35,247 --> 00:02:37,948
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
60
00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:40,584
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
61
00:02:40,586 --> 00:02:42,519
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
62
00:02:42,521 --> 00:02:44,488
♪ Bang! ♪
63
00:02:44,513 --> 00:02:47,513
The Big Bang Theory 5x11
The Speckerman Recurrence
Original Air Date on December 8, 2011
64
00:02:47,538 --> 00:02:50,538
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
65
00:02:50,539 --> 00:02:51,538
(classical fanfare plays
on computer)
66
00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:53,706
It's 2:00 a.m.
What are you doing up?
67
00:02:53,708 --> 00:02:58,711
Nobel Prize acceptance ceremony
streaming live from Stockholm.
68
00:02:58,713 --> 00:03:00,213
Sure. You want to see
69
00:03:00,215 --> 00:03:03,082
what all the scientists
are wearing this year.
70
00:03:03,084 --> 00:03:04,984
Look at these men.
71
00:03:04,986 --> 00:03:08,254
They've managed to win the top
science prize in the world
72
00:03:08,256 --> 00:03:11,090
with no more understanding
of the quantum underpinnings
73
00:03:11,092 --> 00:03:13,192
of the expansion
of the early universe
74
00:03:13,194 --> 00:03:15,261
than God gave a goose.
75
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:18,097
You should pay attention,
Leonard.
76
00:03:18,099 --> 00:03:19,932
Someday this could be you
up there.
77
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,335
Thanks.
78
00:03:22,337 --> 00:03:23,636
So,
79
00:03:23,638 --> 00:03:25,138
what's got you up?
80
00:03:25,140 --> 00:03:27,573
Did you have a bad clam?
81
00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:29,242
I didn't have clams.
82
00:03:29,244 --> 00:03:31,177
I don't watch you
24 hours a day.
83
00:03:31,179 --> 00:03:33,279
I don't know what you do.
84
00:03:33,281 --> 00:03:36,349
It's this Jimmy Speckerman
thing.
85
00:03:36,351 --> 00:03:39,318
I can't decide if I should
agree to see him or not.
86
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,586
Of course that might be
87
00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:42,555
because the last time
I ran into him,
88
00:03:42,557 --> 00:03:45,224
he made me floss
with my own shoelaces.
89
00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:47,660
Wear loafers.
90
00:03:47,662 --> 00:03:51,197
Look at Dr. Saul
Perlmutter up there,
91
00:03:51,199 --> 00:03:53,399
clutching that Nobel Prize.
92
00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:54,634
What's the matter, Saul?
93
00:03:54,636 --> 00:03:56,269
You afraid someone's
going to steal it?
94
00:03:56,271 --> 00:03:58,838
Like you stole Einstein's
cosmological constant?
95
00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,040
You know what?
96
00:04:01,042 --> 00:04:03,843
I am tired of living
in fear of this guy.
97
00:04:03,845 --> 00:04:05,878
I'm gonna go see
him and finally say
98
00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:08,848
all the things I should
have said in high school.
99
00:04:08,850 --> 00:04:10,550
You know, "Pick on
someone your own size""
100
00:04:10,552 --> 00:04:14,387
"You did not have sex
with my mother."
101
00:04:14,389 --> 00:04:18,357
And "Yes, I do know why
I'm hitting myself."
102
00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:20,860
Oh, now Perlmutter's
shaking the king's hand.
103
00:04:20,862 --> 00:04:22,562
Yeah, check for your watch,
Gustaf.
104
00:04:22,564 --> 00:04:24,330
He might have lifted it.
105
00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:28,568
I love this dress.
106
00:04:28,570 --> 00:04:30,403
How come I never
see you wear it?
107
00:04:30,405 --> 00:04:32,572
'Cause when I wear it,
it's a shirt.
108
00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:36,476
So, what's Howard
doing tonight?
109
00:04:36,478 --> 00:04:39,579
Oh, they all went with Leonard
to confront his childhood bully.
110
00:04:39,581 --> 00:04:40,847
Oh, terrific.
111
00:04:40,849 --> 00:04:44,784
High school quarterback
against four mathletes.
112
00:04:44,786 --> 00:04:45,885
When Leonard gets back,
113
00:04:45,887 --> 00:04:47,420
I'd love to check
his serotonin levels.
114
00:04:47,422 --> 00:04:50,289
Do you think he'd let me draw
a syringe full of his blood?
115
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:52,058
Hmm, he's not crazy
about needles,
116
00:04:52,060 --> 00:04:54,093
but if you get him to go
jogging,
117
00:04:54,095 --> 00:04:55,895
it'll just pour out of his nose.
118
00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:58,064
I don't think
119
00:04:58,066 --> 00:05:00,700
I can meet the girl
who was always mean to me.
120
00:05:00,702 --> 00:05:02,201
Tammy Bodnick.
121
00:05:02,203 --> 00:05:04,137
One time
while I was in gym class,
122
00:05:04,139 --> 00:05:05,238
she stole all my clothes
123
00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:08,074
and left an elf costume
in my locker.
124
00:05:08,076 --> 00:05:09,976
Oh, that's awful.
125
00:05:09,978 --> 00:05:13,179
Worst part was, it was too big.
126
00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:15,748
That's nothing.
127
00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:19,051
In ninth grade, the girls put
Rogaine in my hand lotion.
128
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:22,288
Within six months, the
nicknames began to fly.
129
00:05:22,290 --> 00:05:25,792
I think the one that hurt the
most was Gorilla Fingers Fowler.
130
00:05:25,794 --> 00:05:27,660
(sighs)
131
00:05:27,662 --> 00:05:30,062
Wow. You poor thing.
132
00:05:30,064 --> 00:05:32,064
What about you?
Oh.
133
00:05:32,066 --> 00:05:34,200
I don't know. I guess
my school was a nice place.
134
00:05:34,202 --> 00:05:35,368
We didn't really have bullies.
135
00:05:35,370 --> 00:05:38,204
Come on, no one ever
gave anyone mean nicknames
136
00:05:38,206 --> 00:05:40,840
or picked on them or put gum
in their hairy knuckles
137
00:05:40,842 --> 00:05:44,510
so the school nurse had to use
peanut butter to get it out?
138
00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:45,845
No, we weren't really like that.
139
00:05:45,847 --> 00:05:48,014
I mean, look, we played pranks
on each other,
140
00:05:48,016 --> 00:05:49,115
but it was never mean.
141
00:05:49,117 --> 00:05:50,616
Like, okay,
this one girl, Kathy Geiger,
142
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:52,151
got really good grades,
so we blindfolded her,
143
00:05:52,153 --> 00:05:54,387
tied her up and left her
in a cornfield overnight.
144
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,858
Oh, my God,
that's awful.
145
00:05:58,860 --> 00:06:01,427
No, it was funny.
Everyone laughed.
146
00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:03,729
Did Kathy
Geiger laugh?
147
00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:05,498
Uh, probably.
It's hard to say.
148
00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:08,434
She kind of had an ear
of corn in her mouth.
149
00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:10,670
Who would have thought
150
00:06:10,672 --> 00:06:14,640
Fuzzy Fingers Fowler
is best friends with a bully?
151
00:06:14,642 --> 00:06:17,310
What? I was not a bully.
152
00:06:17,312 --> 00:06:18,911
Kind of sounds like you were.
153
00:06:18,913 --> 00:06:21,347
And maybe a felon.
154
00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:26,352
Shh. That's how you
wind up in a cornfield.
155
00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:33,226
Is that him over there?
156
00:06:33,228 --> 00:06:34,660
No.
157
00:06:34,662 --> 00:06:36,629
How about that guy?
158
00:06:36,631 --> 00:06:38,965
He looks like he'd hate you.
159
00:06:38,967 --> 00:06:41,334
You know, I can really do this
by myself.
160
00:06:41,336 --> 00:06:42,969
Hey, we're here
to support you, buddy.
161
00:06:42,971 --> 00:06:44,570
No, you're not.
You're here to see
162
00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:46,639
if I get my underwear
pulled over my head.
163
00:06:46,641 --> 00:06:49,342
(laughing):
You wore underwear? You fool.
164
00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:52,912
So, have you figured out what
you're going to say to him?
165
00:06:52,914 --> 00:06:55,514
You bet. I am going to
make him apologize
166
00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:58,384
for all the crap
he pulled on me in school.
167
00:06:58,386 --> 00:07:00,286
That's quite a list.
168
00:07:00,288 --> 00:07:01,687
I can't read your handwriting.
169
00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:02,855
What's that word?
170
00:07:02,857 --> 00:07:04,323
"Scrotum."
171
00:07:04,325 --> 00:07:07,193
What's that one?
172
00:07:07,195 --> 00:07:09,462
Uh, "stapled."
173
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:14,300
Leonard.
174
00:07:14,302 --> 00:07:16,969
(laughing)
Oh, hi.
175
00:07:16,971 --> 00:07:19,372
Holy crap, man,
it's good to see you.
176
00:07:19,374 --> 00:07:22,008
Yeah. You, too.
Uh, Jimmy, this is
177
00:07:22,010 --> 00:07:23,376
Sheldon and Raj and Howard.
178
00:07:23,378 --> 00:07:26,012
Hi. Fellas... Hey,
can I get a beer?
179
00:07:26,014 --> 00:07:27,847
Wow. Look at you.
180
00:07:27,849 --> 00:07:29,348
Little Leonard Hofstadter.
181
00:07:29,350 --> 00:07:31,217
I hear
you're a big-time scientist now.
182
00:07:31,219 --> 00:07:33,653
And there's the first
zinger. Ouch.
183
00:07:33,655 --> 00:07:36,322
I'm doing okay, I guess.
184
00:07:36,324 --> 00:07:38,524
Okay? Come on, I read online
185
00:07:38,526 --> 00:07:40,226
you're a physicist
at a university,
186
00:07:40,228 --> 00:07:41,360
you won some medal.
187
00:07:41,362 --> 00:07:43,062
The Newcomb medal.
188
00:07:43,064 --> 00:07:44,397
Yeah, congratulations.
189
00:07:44,399 --> 00:07:45,865
Congratulations?
190
00:07:45,867 --> 00:07:47,800
The Newcomb medal?
Oh, please.
191
00:07:47,802 --> 00:07:49,201
That's the scientific equivalent
192
00:07:49,203 --> 00:07:51,637
of a smiley face sticker
on your homework.
193
00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:54,140
From what I read,
it sounded like a big deal.
194
00:07:54,142 --> 00:07:56,542
Oh, good Lord,
are we going to stand here
195
00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:58,711
and listen to him
tear Leonard apart like this?
196
00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:01,647
Hey, I won a Newcomb medal, too.
197
00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:03,049
My point.
198
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:06,118
You should have seen this guy
back in the day.
199
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:09,021
Huh? He was so little, he could
fit in just about anywhere.
200
00:08:09,023 --> 00:08:11,123
Lockers, trash cans.
201
00:08:11,125 --> 00:08:14,327
Oh, man, how did you get
inside that backpack?
202
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,463
Oh, I can't take all the credit.
203
00:08:17,465 --> 00:08:19,765
You helped a lot.
Yeah.
204
00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:21,667
We were practically
a comedy team.
205
00:08:21,669 --> 00:08:25,338
Like the Black Death
and Europe.
206
00:08:25,340 --> 00:08:29,208
Jimmy, I'm kind of curious why
you wanted to see me.
207
00:08:29,210 --> 00:08:31,077
Okay, here it is.
208
00:08:31,079 --> 00:08:32,545
I have this great
money-making idea.
209
00:08:32,547 --> 00:08:34,680
I just need a gear head
to get it to the finish line.
210
00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:36,349
Technically, Howard's the
gear head.
211
00:08:36,351 --> 00:08:39,385
Leonard's just a dime store
laser jockey.
212
00:08:39,387 --> 00:08:40,853
What's the idea?
213
00:08:40,855 --> 00:08:42,588
This is just between us, right?
214
00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:43,856
- Right.
- Okay.
215
00:08:43,858 --> 00:08:45,825
What do you think
about a pair of glasses
216
00:08:45,827 --> 00:08:48,260
that makes any movie
you want into 3D?
217
00:08:48,262 --> 00:08:49,628
That sounds amazing.
218
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:53,599
First movie I'm
watching-- Annie.
219
00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:57,670
How exactly would
these glasses work?
220
00:08:57,672 --> 00:09:00,706
How the hell should I know?
That's why I need a nerd.
221
00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:04,543
I don't think something like
that's even possible.
222
00:09:04,545 --> 00:09:06,178
Aw, come on, you can
figure it out.
223
00:09:06,180 --> 00:09:07,880
You're like the smartest
guy I've ever known.
224
00:09:07,882 --> 00:09:09,115
The smartest...?!
225
00:09:09,117 --> 00:09:11,951
All right, you know,
I may not have
226
00:09:11,953 --> 00:09:16,088
a firm grasp on sarcasm, but
even I know that was a doozy.
227
00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:19,925
Leonard, you can't live in
fear of this man forever.
228
00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:21,494
Sheldon, I got this.
229
00:09:21,496 --> 00:09:23,029
You clearly don't.
230
00:09:23,031 --> 00:09:25,398
What my spineless friend
lacks the courage to say
231
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,466
is you're a
terrible person
232
00:09:27,468 --> 00:09:28,734
who took advantage
233
00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:31,937
of his tiny size,
his uncoordinated nature
234
00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:34,040
and his congenital
lack of masculinity.
235
00:09:34,042 --> 00:09:35,074
Sheldon...
236
00:09:35,076 --> 00:09:36,909
Leonard, I platonically
love you, man,
237
00:09:36,911 --> 00:09:38,344
but face it, you're a mess.
238
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,982
I don't understand.
239
00:09:42,984 --> 00:09:46,986
I think what he's trying to say
is that maybe in high school
240
00:09:46,988 --> 00:09:48,554
you picked on me a little bit.
241
00:09:48,556 --> 00:09:50,389
A little bit?
242
00:09:50,391 --> 00:09:53,492
The man Super Glued Hershey's
Kisses to your nipples.
243
00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:57,930
That's funny because those
aren't the kind of kisses
244
00:09:57,932 --> 00:09:59,432
you want on your nipples.
245
00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:02,134
What is that?
246
00:10:02,136 --> 00:10:05,237
This is a list of your heinous
acts against Leonard.
247
00:10:05,239 --> 00:10:07,807
One of which is certainly the
cause of him wetting his bed
248
00:10:07,809 --> 00:10:09,241
well into his teens.
249
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:13,813
14 is not... Aw, never mind.
250
00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:18,017
What's this word?
251
00:10:18,019 --> 00:10:19,685
"Nancy."
252
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:24,523
You called me Nancy
for three years.
253
00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:28,861
You really need to work
on your penmanship.
254
00:10:28,863 --> 00:10:31,964
Oh, man, I...
255
00:10:31,966 --> 00:10:34,333
I don't know what to say.
256
00:10:34,335 --> 00:10:36,469
I always thought we were
just having some fun.
257
00:10:36,471 --> 00:10:38,471
It wasn't fun for me.
258
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:40,840
You're being too kind, Leonard.
259
00:10:40,842 --> 00:10:42,975
You ruined him.
260
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:45,277
Come on, guys.
261
00:10:45,279 --> 00:10:47,480
That was pretty badass, dude.
262
00:10:47,482 --> 00:10:49,215
I help the weak.
263
00:10:49,217 --> 00:10:51,250
It's yet another way I'm
exactly like Batman.
264
00:10:51,252 --> 00:10:55,688
Hey, for the record, Jimmy
wasn't the reason I wet the bed.
265
00:10:55,690 --> 00:10:59,158
That one has my mother
written all over it.
266
00:11:04,207 --> 00:11:05,607
Anyway, I'm really sorry
267
00:11:05,609 --> 00:11:07,843
I made fun of your
stutter in high school.
268
00:11:07,845 --> 00:11:09,911
You're doing great.
269
00:11:09,913 --> 00:11:11,280
Uh-huh.
270
00:11:12,148 --> 00:11:13,448
Uh-huh.
271
00:11:13,450 --> 00:11:16,485
Oh, God, just
finish the sentence.
272
00:11:20,256 --> 00:11:23,759
Okay, well, I'm sorry
you feel that way. Bye.
273
00:11:23,761 --> 00:11:26,495
No one wants to hear
my apologies.
274
00:11:26,497 --> 00:11:28,497
I think your mistake is doing it
over the phone.
275
00:11:28,499 --> 00:11:31,166
If they could look
into your eyes, they'd melt.
276
00:11:33,202 --> 00:11:35,304
Penny, it doesn't matter
what you did in the past.
277
00:11:35,306 --> 00:11:36,972
You're a good person now.
278
00:11:36,974 --> 00:11:38,473
That's easy for you to say.
279
00:11:38,475 --> 00:11:41,610
You weren't just called
a "b-b-b-b-bitch."
280
00:11:41,612 --> 00:11:46,415
Perhaps you could assuage
your guilt through altruism.
281
00:11:48,918 --> 00:11:51,687
Which word's tripping you up?
282
00:11:51,689 --> 00:11:54,289
"Assuage," or "altruism"?
283
00:11:54,291 --> 00:11:57,025
Both.
284
00:11:58,261 --> 00:12:00,996
You'll feel better by doing
something nice for someone.
285
00:12:00,998 --> 00:12:03,598
- I actually knew that.
- I never doubted you.
286
00:12:04,934 --> 00:12:07,803
Every other week I serve at
a soup kitchen downtown.
287
00:12:07,805 --> 00:12:10,038
Ooh, I can't do that.
288
00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:13,008
If I stand over a steaming pot,
my hair just goes boing!
289
00:12:14,344 --> 00:12:15,811
What else could I do?
290
00:12:15,813 --> 00:12:18,680
There's Habitat for Humanity--
building houses for the poor.
291
00:12:18,682 --> 00:12:20,682
Okay, come on, I don't even
have my own house--
292
00:12:20,684 --> 00:12:22,117
I'm going to build one
for someone else?
293
00:12:22,119 --> 00:12:25,587
How about donating
some of your clothes?
294
00:12:25,589 --> 00:12:29,524
Oh, my God, that's perfect.
'Cause I have so many clothes
295
00:12:29,526 --> 00:12:31,026
I don't wear, and they're
just taking up space,
296
00:12:31,028 --> 00:12:34,029
and I go shopping to buy more stuff
and I have no place to put it.
297
00:12:34,031 --> 00:12:35,297
This will totally fix that.
298
00:12:35,299 --> 00:12:36,865
What about helping people?
299
00:12:36,867 --> 00:12:39,267
And helping people.
300
00:12:40,570 --> 00:12:43,171
Here's your cocoa.
301
00:12:43,173 --> 00:12:45,774
- Oh, half and half instead of whole milk?
- Yes.
302
00:12:45,776 --> 00:12:48,176
- Heated to precisely 183 degrees?
- Yes.
303
00:12:48,178 --> 00:12:50,078
Seven little marshmallows,
no more no less?
304
00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,381
You got one for good luck.
305
00:12:53,483 --> 00:12:54,883
(knocking)
I'll get it.
306
00:12:54,885 --> 00:12:57,352
One for good luck.
307
00:12:57,354 --> 00:13:00,055
Must be the kind of math
they do at Princeton.
308
00:13:03,459 --> 00:13:05,327
Hey.
309
00:13:05,329 --> 00:13:06,762
What are you doing here?
310
00:13:06,764 --> 00:13:10,932
I want to apologize for...
stapling your balls and...
311
00:13:12,135 --> 00:13:15,303
...throwing you naked
in the girls' locker room,
312
00:13:15,305 --> 00:13:17,205
stuffing that parrot
down your pants.
313
00:13:19,008 --> 00:13:20,142
What's this word?
314
00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:24,112
- "Laxative."
- Oh, right.
315
00:13:24,114 --> 00:13:26,882
Junior prom.
316
00:13:26,884 --> 00:13:30,018
That was not cool, man.
317
00:13:30,020 --> 00:13:32,387
I am so, so sorry.
318
00:13:32,389 --> 00:13:33,755
Really?
319
00:13:33,757 --> 00:13:37,292
Yeah. I just hope
you can forgive me.
320
00:13:37,294 --> 00:13:38,460
LEONARD:
Uh...
321
00:13:38,462 --> 00:13:39,961
Yeah.
322
00:13:39,963 --> 00:13:41,062
Sure, I guess.
323
00:13:41,064 --> 00:13:44,366
You're a beautiful guy.
324
00:13:44,368 --> 00:13:46,368
Well, thanks, Jimmy.
325
00:13:46,370 --> 00:13:47,736
Okay, I got to go.
326
00:13:47,738 --> 00:13:49,871
Are you okay to drive?
327
00:13:49,873 --> 00:13:52,073
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I drive better drunk.
328
00:13:52,075 --> 00:13:54,743
You know, it makes
you pay attention.
329
00:13:56,746 --> 00:13:59,147
No, no, no, come on in.
I'll make you a cup of coffee.
330
00:13:59,149 --> 00:14:00,849
- I wouldn't be imposing?
- No.
331
00:14:00,851 --> 00:14:03,051
Yes.
332
00:14:03,053 --> 00:14:06,321
Sheldon, we can't
let him drive.
333
00:14:06,323 --> 00:14:08,790
Then take away his keys
and make him wander the streets
334
00:14:08,792 --> 00:14:10,725
with the other drunks.
335
00:14:12,495 --> 00:14:15,263
You remember Sheldon
and Raj and Howard.
336
00:14:15,265 --> 00:14:16,832
Not really, no.
337
00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:19,534
It's funny, huh, Leonard?
338
00:14:19,536 --> 00:14:22,437
Back in school, I was the
winner and you were the loser.
339
00:14:22,439 --> 00:14:23,505
And now we're reversed.
340
00:14:23,507 --> 00:14:26,041
You're the winner.
341
00:14:26,043 --> 00:14:29,010
You'd think a winner could make
a decent cup of cocoa.
342
00:14:30,713 --> 00:14:33,715
- You mind if I use your bathroom?
- Yeah, just back there.
343
00:14:36,686 --> 00:14:38,286
How about that?
344
00:14:38,288 --> 00:14:41,389
After all these years,
your big bad high school bully
345
00:14:41,391 --> 00:14:43,158
finally apologizes.
346
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:46,027
Yeah. It kind of rekindles
your faith
347
00:14:46,029 --> 00:14:48,096
in the basic goodness of people.
348
00:14:48,098 --> 00:14:50,699
You know what
would be nice?
349
00:14:50,701 --> 00:14:51,433
What's that?
350
00:14:51,435 --> 00:14:53,602
As a symbolic gesture
351
00:14:53,604 --> 00:14:56,771
to all the bullies who've
tormented us for years,
352
00:14:56,773 --> 00:15:01,776
we open our home to Jimmy and
once he's asleep we kill him.
353
00:15:06,449 --> 00:15:09,417
I said it would be nice--
I didn't say we should do it.
354
00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:15,457
I feel just like
Mother Teresa.
355
00:15:15,459 --> 00:15:17,225
Except for the virgin part.
356
00:15:17,227 --> 00:15:20,228
That ship sailed
a long time ago.
357
00:15:20,230 --> 00:15:25,000
I think Mother Teresa would
have washed the clothes first.
358
00:15:25,002 --> 00:15:26,902
Yeah, well, I bet
her laundry room
359
00:15:26,904 --> 00:15:28,870
wasn't down five flights
of stairs.
360
00:15:28,872 --> 00:15:32,741
You know, giving really
is better than receiving.
361
00:15:32,743 --> 00:15:36,545
I used to think it was such a cliche,
but it seems to be the...
362
00:15:36,547 --> 00:15:40,215
(gasps) Look at these cute jeans
someone just threw away.
363
00:15:40,217 --> 00:15:42,317
Donated.
364
00:15:44,854 --> 00:15:48,590
Yes, to a poor waitress
who loves a boot cut.
365
00:15:49,625 --> 00:15:50,625
Penny.
366
00:15:50,627 --> 00:15:52,727
Come on, they would
be so cute on me...
367
00:15:52,729 --> 00:15:54,930
They go great
with this sweater!
368
00:15:54,932 --> 00:15:57,065
I don't think
Mother Teresa...
369
00:15:57,067 --> 00:15:59,000
Oh, that is adorable.
370
00:16:10,379 --> 00:16:11,947
Leonard.
371
00:16:11,949 --> 00:16:14,015
- Yeah.
- In case it comes up again,
372
00:16:14,017 --> 00:16:17,819
this right here
is an imposition.
373
00:16:19,322 --> 00:16:20,789
What was I supposed to do?
374
00:16:20,791 --> 00:16:22,524
He needed a place
to sleep it off.
375
00:16:22,526 --> 00:16:24,092
You're soft.
376
00:16:24,094 --> 00:16:27,495
This world's going to chew
you up and spit you out.
377
00:16:27,497 --> 00:16:29,497
(belches)
378
00:16:29,499 --> 00:16:32,300
When did I have tacos?
379
00:16:33,936 --> 00:16:35,437
Morning, Jimmy.
380
00:16:35,439 --> 00:16:39,074
Oh, there it is, tacos.
381
00:16:39,076 --> 00:16:42,210
Man, I tied one on.
382
00:16:42,212 --> 00:16:43,378
Yeah, you did.
383
00:16:43,380 --> 00:16:46,514
So, uh, listen, it was
great to see you again.
384
00:16:46,516 --> 00:16:49,050
And thanks for
the apology.
385
00:16:49,052 --> 00:16:51,186
What apology?
386
00:16:51,188 --> 00:16:54,356
For all the crappy stuff
you did to me in high school.
387
00:16:54,358 --> 00:16:56,691
Geez, you're still harping
on that?
388
00:16:56,693 --> 00:16:57,959
What a puss.
389
00:16:57,961 --> 00:17:00,428
That's my French toast.
390
00:17:00,430 --> 00:17:02,097
It's good.
391
00:17:02,099 --> 00:17:04,833
You really know your way
around a kitchen, Nancy.
392
00:17:06,502 --> 00:17:08,738
I'm not going to say
I told you so,
393
00:17:08,763 --> 00:17:10,311
but we could have killed him.
394
00:17:13,209 --> 00:17:16,244
I might kill him right now.
395
00:17:16,246 --> 00:17:18,880
The Dark Knight
has your back.
396
00:17:18,882 --> 00:17:21,383
He's scared, but
he has your back.
397
00:17:21,385 --> 00:17:23,585
Okay, Jimmy, it's time
for you to go.
398
00:17:23,587 --> 00:17:25,053
Yeah, all right, let
me just finish this.
399
00:17:25,055 --> 00:17:27,422
No, you're done. I want you out
of my apartment right now.
400
00:17:27,424 --> 00:17:30,358
Well said, Boy Wonder.
401
00:17:31,193 --> 00:17:33,895
Or what?
402
00:17:33,897 --> 00:17:34,970
Don't answer that.
It's a trick question.
403
00:17:34,995 --> 00:17:36,195
I speak from experience.
404
00:17:39,735 --> 00:17:42,170
I'm not afraid of you
anymore, Jimmy.
405
00:17:42,172 --> 00:17:43,738
Now get out!
406
00:17:44,874 --> 00:17:46,941
Uh-oh.
407
00:17:48,744 --> 00:17:50,745
You did it, Leonard,
you stood up to your bully.
408
00:17:50,747 --> 00:17:53,348
Yeah, I feel pretty good
about myself.
409
00:17:55,151 --> 00:17:57,552
You think we can
outrun him?
410
00:17:57,554 --> 00:18:00,622
I don't need to outrun him,
I just need to outrun you.
411
00:18:06,914 --> 00:18:08,499
I don't feel
good about this.
412
00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:10,700
Then sit in the car
and keep it running.
413
00:18:11,502 --> 00:18:14,371
You were right--
a whole new load.
414
00:18:17,208 --> 00:18:20,143
Come on, yoga top.
Mama needs a new yoga top.
415
00:18:20,145 --> 00:18:22,812
Check it out, Bernadette,
suede boots, your size.
416
00:18:22,814 --> 00:18:24,948
God, they're cute.
417
00:18:24,950 --> 00:18:27,584
Oh, why did they have
to be cute?
418
00:18:27,586 --> 00:18:30,320
Wait, wait, wait, guys,
just hang on.
419
00:18:30,322 --> 00:18:32,222
What is it, the fuzz?
420
00:18:34,625 --> 00:18:36,660
Look at us.
421
00:18:36,662 --> 00:18:38,128
What are we doing?
422
00:18:38,130 --> 00:18:41,164
I was gleefully following you
to a life of crime,
423
00:18:41,166 --> 00:18:44,501
looking forward to the day
we might be cell mates.
424
00:18:47,171 --> 00:18:50,140
I don't know about Bernadette.
425
00:18:50,142 --> 00:18:54,678
You know, this is wrong.
Let's put everything back.
426
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:56,947
Here.
427
00:19:06,624 --> 00:19:08,525
It's okay, I serve soup
to poor people!
428
00:19:08,527 --> 00:19:12,527
== sync, corrected by elderman ==