1
00:00:02,201 --> 00:00:03,877
It's amazing
people keep coming
2
00:00:03,878 --> 00:00:05,277
to comic book stores
3
00:00:05,279 --> 00:00:08,412
instead of just downloading
comics digitally.
4
00:00:08,414 --> 00:00:09,912
It's probably for the best.
5
00:00:09,914 --> 00:00:11,979
For a lot of these guys,
the weekly trip here
6
00:00:11,981 --> 00:00:14,079
is the only chance
their mom has to go down
7
00:00:14,081 --> 00:00:16,046
to the basement
and change their sheets.
8
00:00:17,147 --> 00:00:20,846
Oh, that reminds me,
I get fresh sheets tonight. Yay.
9
00:00:22,948 --> 00:00:24,514
Well?
10
00:00:24,516 --> 00:00:26,414
What do you think
of New Comic Book Night?
11
00:00:26,416 --> 00:00:28,915
Magic, huh?
12
00:00:28,917 --> 00:00:30,816
Sheldon, I'm disappointed.
13
00:00:30,818 --> 00:00:32,017
As a brilliant man,
14
00:00:32,019 --> 00:00:33,151
you're entitled to a vice.
15
00:00:33,153 --> 00:00:34,819
I could understand
frequenting an opium den
16
00:00:34,821 --> 00:00:37,155
or hunting your fellow man
for sport.
17
00:00:38,257 --> 00:00:41,724
But this? Lame-o.
18
00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:44,859
Well, A) Comic books
employ storytelling
19
00:00:44,861 --> 00:00:46,127
through sequential art,
20
00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:48,262
a medium that dates back
17,000 years
21
00:00:48,264 --> 00:00:50,230
to the cave paintings
of Lascaux,
22
00:00:50,232 --> 00:00:52,532
and B) You play the harp.
23
00:00:52,534 --> 00:00:54,066
Like that's cool.
24
00:00:57,236 --> 00:00:59,603
Can I help you
find anything?
25
00:00:59,605 --> 00:01:01,704
A comic that depicts
a woman whose bosom
26
00:01:01,706 --> 00:01:03,906
can't be used
as a flotation device.
27
00:01:04,708 --> 00:01:06,208
Sorry. Most of the guys
28
00:01:06,210 --> 00:01:08,410
who come in here
like big boobs.
29
00:01:08,412 --> 00:01:10,678
Couple of them
have big boobs.
30
00:01:12,014 --> 00:01:13,214
Hey, look, the new
31
00:01:13,216 --> 00:01:15,315
Warlords of Ka'a
expansion pack is out.
32
00:01:15,317 --> 00:01:17,483
A new one?
Unbelievable.
33
00:01:17,485 --> 00:01:19,785
They just keep making up
more cheesy monsters,
34
00:01:19,787 --> 00:01:23,188
slapping them on cards and
selling them at 25 bucks a pop.
35
00:01:23,190 --> 00:01:26,923
It's like a secret tax
on guys who can't get laid.
36
00:01:27,824 --> 00:01:28,991
They're not even trying.
37
00:01:28,993 --> 00:01:31,193
Remember the Satanimals pack
with the Hellephant?
38
00:01:31,195 --> 00:01:32,527
Why, absurd.
39
00:01:32,529 --> 00:01:34,962
What was he, a bad elephant
who died and went to hell?
40
00:01:34,964 --> 00:01:36,396
What could
an elephant
41
00:01:36,398 --> 00:01:39,731
possibly do that would cause him
eternal damnation?
42
00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,432
"Wild West and Witches"?
43
00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:44,534
What kind of loser cares
about a showdown
44
00:01:44,536 --> 00:01:48,470
between Billy the Kid and
the White Wizard of the North?
45
00:01:48,472 --> 00:01:49,972
A total loser.
46
00:01:49,974 --> 00:01:52,007
Obviously,
a guy with a six-shooter
47
00:01:52,009 --> 00:01:54,042
beats an old man
with a magic wand.
48
00:01:55,578 --> 00:01:57,311
Well, h-hold on.
49
00:01:58,380 --> 00:02:00,181
Uh, what if the wizard casts
50
00:02:00,183 --> 00:02:03,450
a Helmet of Confusion spell
on Billy the Kid's cowboy hat?
51
00:02:03,452 --> 00:02:04,851
What? Please!
52
00:02:04,853 --> 00:02:06,519
This is Billy the Kid
we're talking about.
53
00:02:06,521 --> 00:02:08,553
I mean, the wizard
would get shot between the eyes
54
00:02:08,555 --> 00:02:10,154
before he could ever
get out the words,
55
00:02:10,156 --> 00:02:11,856
"What the hell
is Billy the Kid doing
56
00:02:11,858 --> 00:02:14,224
in the mystic realm of Ka'a?"
57
00:02:14,226 --> 00:02:16,026
Leonard...
58
00:02:16,028 --> 00:02:19,095
What's the deal
with Sheldon's friend Amy?
59
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:20,262
Are they a couple?
60
00:02:20,264 --> 00:02:22,597
Couple of weirdos. Why?
61
00:02:22,599 --> 00:02:24,432
You interested in Amy?
62
00:02:24,434 --> 00:02:27,133
Well, I mean,
she didn't look through me
63
00:02:27,135 --> 00:02:28,968
with soul-sucking,
ball-shriveling
64
00:02:28,970 --> 00:02:31,570
hatred and contempt.
65
00:02:31,572 --> 00:02:33,606
I like that in a woman.
66
00:02:34,674 --> 00:02:36,942
Could you run it by Sheldon
if I could ask her out?
67
00:02:36,944 --> 00:02:38,377
Sure. I guess.
68
00:02:38,379 --> 00:02:40,078
Stuart, settle an
argument for us.
69
00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:41,578
Who would win,
70
00:02:41,580 --> 00:02:43,914
Billy the Kid
or the White Wizard?
71
00:02:43,916 --> 00:02:45,882
If I tell you that,
72
00:02:45,884 --> 00:02:49,118
I'm robbing you of the hours
of fun you could have
73
00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:54,590
for the magical, rootin'-tootin'
low price of $24.95.
74
00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:56,925
I'll take one.
75
00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:58,360
Mm... make it two.
76
00:02:58,362 --> 00:03:01,263
I hate all of you and myself.
Three.
77
00:03:02,298 --> 00:03:04,265
I'll ring it up.
78
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:07,035
Like shooting nerds in a barrel.
79
00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:11,706
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
80
00:03:11,708 --> 00:03:15,043
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
81
00:03:15,045 --> 00:03:16,677
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
82
00:03:16,679 --> 00:03:19,213
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
83
00:03:19,215 --> 00:03:21,882
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
84
00:03:21,884 --> 00:03:24,551
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
85
00:03:24,553 --> 00:03:26,453
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
86
00:03:26,455 --> 00:03:28,422
♪ Bang! ♪
87
00:03:28,447 --> 00:03:31,647
The Big Bang Theory 5x10
The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition
Original Air Date on November 17, 2011
88
00:03:31,648 --> 00:03:34,848
89
00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:36,971
Hey, can I talk to
you about something?
90
00:03:36,972 --> 00:03:39,606
It's a little
awkward.
91
00:03:39,608 --> 00:03:41,742
I know what this is about.
92
00:03:41,744 --> 00:03:44,312
Given the professional
standstill you're at,
93
00:03:44,314 --> 00:03:47,114
you're wondering
if this is the appropriate time
94
00:03:47,116 --> 00:03:50,451
to abandon your research
and focus on teaching.
95
00:03:53,155 --> 00:03:55,423
Yes.
96
00:03:57,260 --> 00:03:59,028
And if I may suggest,
97
00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:00,596
consider changing disciplines.
98
00:04:00,598 --> 00:04:02,832
Yeah, to the humanities--
perhaps history.
99
00:04:02,834 --> 00:04:05,268
One of the advantages
of teaching history
100
00:04:05,270 --> 00:04:08,038
is that you don't have
to create things.
101
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,140
You know, you just
have to remember
102
00:04:10,142 --> 00:04:12,976
stuff that happened
and then parrot it back.
103
00:04:12,978 --> 00:04:15,613
You could have fun with that.
104
00:04:16,448 --> 00:04:18,215
Yeah, that's not it.
105
00:04:18,217 --> 00:04:20,684
Stuart's kind of
interested in Amy.
106
00:04:20,686 --> 00:04:23,086
Oh, of course he is.
She's very interesting.
107
00:04:23,088 --> 00:04:25,189
Did you know,
when she was 14,
108
00:04:25,191 --> 00:04:28,158
she severed the webbing
between her own toes?
109
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:32,062
No.
110
00:04:32,064 --> 00:04:34,030
He wanted me to find out
111
00:04:34,032 --> 00:04:37,367
if you'd have a problem
with him asking her out.
112
00:04:38,970 --> 00:04:42,138
I'm not sure how to respond,
Leonard.
113
00:04:42,140 --> 00:04:44,374
I don't own Amy.
114
00:04:44,376 --> 00:04:47,010
Can't own a person.
115
00:04:47,012 --> 00:04:49,879
At least not since...
116
00:04:53,818 --> 00:04:56,187
1863.
117
00:04:57,723 --> 00:05:00,391
President Lincoln freed the...
118
00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:04,195
Slaves!
Come on, Leonard,
119
00:05:04,197 --> 00:05:05,529
if you're going
to teach history,
120
00:05:05,531 --> 00:05:07,965
these are the kind of facts
you'll have to know.
121
00:05:07,967 --> 00:05:09,600
You know what?
Never mind.
122
00:05:09,602 --> 00:05:12,136
I'm going to tell him
it's okay to ask her out.
123
00:05:12,138 --> 00:05:13,437
The question is moot.
124
00:05:13,439 --> 00:05:15,272
There is no way that Stuart,
125
00:05:15,274 --> 00:05:17,408
an impoverished peddler
of picture books,
126
00:05:17,410 --> 00:05:20,144
would be at all appealing
to Amy Farrah Fowler,
127
00:05:20,146 --> 00:05:22,212
a noted neurobiologist
128
00:05:22,214 --> 00:05:24,981
capable of performing surgery
on her own feet
129
00:05:24,983 --> 00:05:26,650
with nothing but nitrous oxide
130
00:05:26,652 --> 00:05:29,486
from cans of whipped cream
as anesthesia.
131
00:05:30,354 --> 00:05:32,489
All right,
but for the record,
132
00:05:32,491 --> 00:05:35,325
I checked in with you
to see how you'd feel about it.
133
00:05:35,327 --> 00:05:37,861
Fine.
The record shall so reflect.
134
00:05:37,863 --> 00:05:40,530
Now, getting back
to the problem at hand,
135
00:05:40,532 --> 00:05:44,034
what to do with a washed-up
experimental physicist...
136
00:05:45,936 --> 00:05:48,037
I am not washed-up.
137
00:05:48,039 --> 00:05:49,973
Oh, Leonard.
138
00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:53,309
Lots of people love you
and want to help you,
139
00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:56,613
but they can't
until you admit the problem.
140
00:05:59,216 --> 00:06:02,052
Well, ladies,
we killed the bottle.
141
00:06:02,054 --> 00:06:03,353
I had half a glass.
142
00:06:03,355 --> 00:06:04,955
I didn't have any.
143
00:06:04,957 --> 00:06:06,991
Okay, don't judge me.
144
00:06:08,294 --> 00:06:09,928
So, what do you want to do--
145
00:06:09,930 --> 00:06:13,331
go to the movies, go dancing,
lay down for a little bit?
146
00:06:14,766 --> 00:06:18,670
Or we play... Travel Twister.
147
00:06:19,538 --> 00:06:21,873
Amy, really? Twister?
148
00:06:21,875 --> 00:06:23,308
Excuse me.
I've passed many
149
00:06:23,310 --> 00:06:24,942
an enjoyable evening
playing this game.
150
00:06:24,944 --> 00:06:26,744
And I'm sure it's
a lot more exciting
151
00:06:26,746 --> 00:06:28,946
when you play with other people.
152
00:06:30,249 --> 00:06:32,550
What do you say, bestie?
We can do shirts and skins.
153
00:06:32,552 --> 00:06:34,018
I'm shirts. Called it.
154
00:06:37,455 --> 00:06:39,089
I'm too small
for Twister.
155
00:06:39,091 --> 00:06:40,390
And roller coasters.
156
00:06:40,392 --> 00:06:43,159
And sitting with my
feet on the floor.
157
00:06:44,161 --> 00:06:47,663
Hope you enjoyed the
prenatal cigarettes, Mom.
158
00:06:50,300 --> 00:06:51,867
Hey, you know, my mom smoked pot
159
00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:54,703
when she was pregnant with me,
and I turned out just fine.
160
00:06:54,705 --> 00:06:56,071
Hey, look, I have
peach schnapps.
161
00:06:56,073 --> 00:06:57,840
Thank God.
162
00:06:58,675 --> 00:07:00,442
Guys, something happened.
163
00:07:00,444 --> 00:07:01,477
What's wrong?
164
00:07:01,479 --> 00:07:03,880
I think a boy
likes me.
165
00:07:05,115 --> 00:07:06,615
"Hi. It's Stuart.
166
00:07:06,617 --> 00:07:08,718
"We met at the
comic book store.
167
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:09,953
"I was wondering
if you'd like
168
00:07:09,955 --> 00:07:10,987
"to get coffee sometime.
169
00:07:10,989 --> 00:07:12,389
"It's okay
if you say no.
170
00:07:12,391 --> 00:07:14,591
"It might be the kick
in the pants I need
171
00:07:14,593 --> 00:07:16,860
to start taking Zoloft."
172
00:07:18,363 --> 00:07:20,031
Amy, little vixen.
173
00:07:20,033 --> 00:07:23,501
Just working it under all those
layers of wool and polyester.
174
00:07:24,370 --> 00:07:26,338
What are you going to do?
175
00:07:26,340 --> 00:07:27,873
Doesn't he know
you have a boyfriend?
176
00:07:27,875 --> 00:07:29,475
Oh, she doesn't
have a boyfriend;
177
00:07:29,477 --> 00:07:31,310
she has a Sheldon.
178
00:07:31,312 --> 00:07:33,479
So do you
like Stuart?
179
00:07:33,481 --> 00:07:34,847
I don't know.
180
00:07:34,849 --> 00:07:36,148
He's nice.
181
00:07:36,150 --> 00:07:37,249
He's funny.
182
00:07:37,251 --> 00:07:38,851
He has the sallow,
drawn countenance
183
00:07:38,853 --> 00:07:40,853
associated with an overactive
thyroid gland.
184
00:07:40,855 --> 00:07:42,721
That's kind of hot.
185
00:07:43,556 --> 00:07:45,557
Okay, look, sweetie,
we all love Sheldon,
186
00:07:45,559 --> 00:07:47,558
but you've been with him
over a year now.
187
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:48,626
If it's not going anywhere,
188
00:07:48,628 --> 00:07:50,061
what does it hurt
to look around?
189
00:07:50,063 --> 00:07:51,829
Well, yeah, I guess
they're not engaged
190
00:07:51,831 --> 00:07:53,597
like me and Howie.
191
00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:54,665
Yeah, for what it's worth,
192
00:07:54,667 --> 00:07:56,000
engaged people
can look around, too.
193
00:07:56,002 --> 00:07:57,334
Lot of options out there.
194
00:08:06,912 --> 00:08:08,446
Where's Stuart?
195
00:08:09,648 --> 00:08:11,314
Out.
196
00:08:12,650 --> 00:08:13,950
Who are you?
197
00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:15,118
I'm Dale.
198
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,320
He left me in charge.
199
00:08:19,157 --> 00:08:20,590
Really?
200
00:08:20,592 --> 00:08:21,959
Yeah.
201
00:08:21,961 --> 00:08:24,127
I don't get it, either.
202
00:08:26,231 --> 00:08:29,533
I want to return
this "Wild West and Witches"
203
00:08:29,535 --> 00:08:31,268
Ka'a expansion pack.
204
00:08:31,270 --> 00:08:33,137
Sorry. I don't do returns.
205
00:08:33,139 --> 00:08:35,340
They're hard.
206
00:08:36,208 --> 00:08:38,110
Sure, sure.
207
00:08:39,079 --> 00:08:40,746
Uh, when will
Stuart be back?
208
00:08:40,748 --> 00:08:42,615
I don't know.
He went out for coffee.
209
00:08:42,617 --> 00:08:43,917
With a girl.
210
00:08:46,655 --> 00:08:48,989
Oh, I guess I was wrong.
211
00:08:49,824 --> 00:08:51,325
You okay?
212
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:53,627
Am I okay?
213
00:08:53,629 --> 00:08:55,896
Leonard,
I'm on a lifelong trajectory
214
00:08:55,898 --> 00:08:58,966
that includes a Nobel Prize
and cities named after me,
215
00:08:58,968 --> 00:09:00,367
all four
wisdom teeth
216
00:09:00,369 --> 00:09:02,636
fit comfortably in my mouth
without need of extraction,
217
00:09:02,638 --> 00:09:06,173
and my bowel movements run
like a German train schedule.
218
00:09:08,509 --> 00:09:10,710
Am I okay?
219
00:09:11,645 --> 00:09:13,212
I'm okay, too!
220
00:09:22,444 --> 00:09:25,413
Wild Bill Witchcock.
221
00:09:27,382 --> 00:09:30,318
A tribe of Abra-Comanches.
222
00:09:35,125 --> 00:09:37,493
Flaming Spittoon.
223
00:09:37,495 --> 00:09:38,895
And for the record,
224
00:09:38,897 --> 00:09:40,663
I'm very disappointed
in you cowpokes.
225
00:09:40,665 --> 00:09:42,632
We're playing
our inaugural round
226
00:09:42,634 --> 00:09:44,468
of "Wild West and Witches,"
227
00:09:44,470 --> 00:09:46,037
and I'm the only one
who bothered
228
00:09:46,039 --> 00:09:48,005
to dress for the occasion.
229
00:09:48,007 --> 00:09:49,774
Patooie.
230
00:09:50,809 --> 00:09:53,110
We're not wearing
cowboy hats, Sheldon.
231
00:09:53,112 --> 00:09:54,578
It looks ridiculous.
232
00:09:54,580 --> 00:09:58,848
And I suppose my boots and spurs
are ridiculous, too?
233
00:09:58,850 --> 00:10:01,284
- Yeah. - Very. - Incredibly so.
234
00:10:01,286 --> 00:10:04,921
Did it look ridiculous
when we got the Satanimals pack
235
00:10:04,923 --> 00:10:08,591
and I dressed up
as a Beelzebobcat?
236
00:10:08,593 --> 00:10:10,559
- Yeah. - Very. - Incredibly so.
237
00:10:12,095 --> 00:10:13,962
All right, fine.
Let's just play.
238
00:10:13,964 --> 00:10:15,631
We should go easy on him.
239
00:10:15,633 --> 00:10:17,433
Amy's out with Stuart tonight.
240
00:10:17,435 --> 00:10:18,701
Wait a minute.
241
00:10:18,703 --> 00:10:21,671
Are you telling me
that Sheldon's patented blend
242
00:10:21,673 --> 00:10:23,806
of condescension and no sex
243
00:10:23,808 --> 00:10:26,376
isn't enough
to hold on to a woman?
244
00:10:30,314 --> 00:10:31,347
Cluck, cluck, cluck.
245
00:10:31,349 --> 00:10:32,715
What are we,
ladies at a quilting bee?
246
00:10:32,717 --> 00:10:35,752
Or are we men
playing a fantasy card game
247
00:10:35,754 --> 00:10:38,554
set in a magical frontier town?
248
00:10:39,756 --> 00:10:41,657
Sorry.
249
00:10:41,659 --> 00:10:44,293
Creepy Tepee.
250
00:10:45,328 --> 00:10:47,862
Annie Ogly.
251
00:10:50,299 --> 00:10:53,034
Hocus Pocus Pocahontas.
252
00:10:53,036 --> 00:10:55,836
And may I point out
it is the three of you
253
00:10:55,838 --> 00:10:58,272
who are obsessed with
Stuart and Amy, not me.
254
00:10:58,274 --> 00:10:59,873
I think you need
to ask yourselves
255
00:10:59,875 --> 00:11:02,009
who's really being
ridiculous here.
256
00:11:10,384 --> 00:11:12,519
- It's you. - You are. - Totally you.
257
00:11:15,022 --> 00:11:16,255
Hey, guys, check it out.
258
00:11:16,257 --> 00:11:18,357
The deluxe limited edition
"Wild West and Witches"
259
00:11:18,359 --> 00:11:21,894
expansion pack in the signed
and numbered collector's tin.
260
00:11:21,896 --> 00:11:23,362
Come on, no!
261
00:11:23,364 --> 00:11:25,931
We just bought the regular pack.
262
00:11:25,933 --> 00:11:27,299
Ooh, a sheriff's badge.
263
00:11:29,069 --> 00:11:31,036
Yeah, it's also a wand.
264
00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:36,042
With a hologram? Nice!
265
00:11:36,044 --> 00:11:37,477
Hey, do you see this?
266
00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:40,113
I'm in the matrix, Leonard;
I see everything.
267
00:11:40,115 --> 00:11:42,048
You got to be
kidding me.
268
00:11:42,050 --> 00:11:44,150
You friended Stuart
on Facebook?
269
00:11:44,152 --> 00:11:46,019
I thought you didn't
like Facebook anymore.
270
00:11:46,021 --> 00:11:47,454
Don't be silly.
271
00:11:47,456 --> 00:11:50,724
I'm a fan of anything that tries
to replace actual human contact.
272
00:11:50,726 --> 00:11:53,193
Please.
273
00:11:53,195 --> 00:11:55,730
You're looking at Facebook
to find out how their date went.
274
00:11:55,732 --> 00:11:57,098
Really?
275
00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:58,733
You think I care if a man, what,
276
00:11:58,735 --> 00:12:02,670
"shared a pumpkin latte
with a dynamite lady"?
277
00:12:02,672 --> 00:12:03,771
You're so full of it.
278
00:12:03,773 --> 00:12:05,206
You are free to believe
279
00:12:05,208 --> 00:12:07,341
whatever you like.
280
00:12:07,343 --> 00:12:10,645
And unfriend
Rajesh Koothrappali.
281
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:12,213
You unfriended me? Seriously?
282
00:12:12,215 --> 00:12:13,515
Oh, yeah.
283
00:12:13,517 --> 00:12:15,417
Now he's gonna miss all
those great updates like,
284
00:12:15,419 --> 00:12:17,119
"I can't believe
I waited this long
285
00:12:17,121 --> 00:12:19,221
to make my own potpourri""
286
00:12:20,624 --> 00:12:22,225
Sheldon, why don't you
just acknowledge
287
00:12:22,227 --> 00:12:23,493
that you have feelings for Amy
288
00:12:23,495 --> 00:12:25,762
and you don't want her
going out with other men?
289
00:12:25,764 --> 00:12:29,532
And unfriend
Leonard Hofstadter.
290
00:12:29,534 --> 00:12:30,633
Here's a radical thought.
291
00:12:30,635 --> 00:12:33,002
Go old-school,
challenge Stuart to a fight.
292
00:12:33,004 --> 00:12:34,637
I mean, nothing makes
the ladies hotter
293
00:12:34,639 --> 00:12:36,539
than two skinny white guys
294
00:12:36,541 --> 00:12:38,941
swatting at each other
with their eyes closed.
295
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:43,545
And unfriend Howard Wolowitz.
296
00:12:44,447 --> 00:12:45,413
That's all of us.
297
00:12:45,415 --> 00:12:47,315
- Can I use the laptop?
- Why?
298
00:12:47,317 --> 00:12:51,219
I have to buy that
stupid collector's tin.
299
00:12:52,321 --> 00:12:54,322
Who do we love?
Penny.
300
00:12:54,324 --> 00:12:55,824
Who do we love?
Penny.
301
00:12:55,826 --> 00:12:58,393
Who do we love?
Penny.
302
00:12:58,395 --> 00:13:00,128
Hello, Sheldon.
303
00:13:00,130 --> 00:13:01,363
Come on in.
304
00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:02,731
Thank you.
305
00:13:02,733 --> 00:13:04,533
What's up?
306
00:13:04,535 --> 00:13:08,336
I came to ask if you would like
to go on a date with me.
307
00:13:10,172 --> 00:13:12,240
I'm sorry, what?
308
00:13:12,242 --> 00:13:13,508
A date.
309
00:13:13,510 --> 00:13:14,676
You and me.
310
00:13:14,678 --> 00:13:16,278
Dining, dancing,
311
00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:19,315
perhaps you'd like to
take in a prizefight.
312
00:13:20,385 --> 00:13:23,253
God, are you trying
to make Amy jealous?
313
00:13:23,255 --> 00:13:24,454
No.
314
00:13:24,456 --> 00:13:27,457
Why is everyone so obsessed
with Amy and Stuart?
315
00:13:27,459 --> 00:13:29,792
Whether or not they may be
having more pumpkin lattes
316
00:13:29,794 --> 00:13:31,761
or intercourse tonight.
317
00:13:31,763 --> 00:13:34,396
Okay, listen to me.
318
00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:37,467
Playing games is not
gonna help get Amy back.
319
00:13:37,469 --> 00:13:39,602
I am not trying to get her back.
320
00:13:39,604 --> 00:13:42,905
But, out of curiosity,
what is a way?
321
00:13:42,907 --> 00:13:44,974
All right, honey,
let me tell you a story.
322
00:13:44,976 --> 00:13:48,144
There was a guy I liked,
and I never told him how I felt.
323
00:13:48,146 --> 00:13:50,312
Eventually, he started
going out with someone else,
324
00:13:50,314 --> 00:13:52,248
and I always regretted it.
325
00:13:52,250 --> 00:13:54,484
Do you see
where I'm going with this?
326
00:13:54,486 --> 00:13:56,119
I believe I do.
327
00:13:56,121 --> 00:13:57,354
Mm.
328
00:13:57,356 --> 00:13:59,490
I'm the guy.
329
00:14:02,694 --> 00:14:04,194
You're not the guy.
330
00:14:04,196 --> 00:14:06,130
Are you sure?
331
00:14:06,132 --> 00:14:07,931
That would explain so much.
332
00:14:07,933 --> 00:14:10,534
Your constant presence
in my apartment,
333
00:14:10,536 --> 00:14:13,337
that baffling dalliance
with Leonard just to be near me,
334
00:14:13,339 --> 00:14:14,572
the way you call me
335
00:14:14,574 --> 00:14:16,640
"sweetie" all the time.
336
00:14:16,642 --> 00:14:17,975
I call everyone "sweetie."
337
00:14:17,977 --> 00:14:18,875
You tramp.
338
00:14:22,179 --> 00:14:23,546
Look, Sheldon,
all I'm saying is
339
00:14:23,548 --> 00:14:25,648
strap on a pair
and go talk to Amy.
340
00:14:25,650 --> 00:14:27,684
"Strap on a pair"?
341
00:14:27,686 --> 00:14:30,521
Of what, skates?
342
00:14:32,157 --> 00:14:35,025
Oh, sweetie,
you are so not the guy.
343
00:14:41,834 --> 00:14:43,702
If you're bored,
you can go.
344
00:14:43,704 --> 00:14:46,338
I understand.
345
00:14:46,340 --> 00:14:49,008
No, I'm having a nice time.
346
00:14:49,977 --> 00:14:52,311
Don't patronize me.
347
00:14:54,180 --> 00:14:55,547
Excuse me. Excuse me.
348
00:14:55,549 --> 00:14:56,715
Pardon me.
349
00:14:57,651 --> 00:14:59,217
Pardon me. Excuse me.
350
00:14:59,219 --> 00:15:00,252
Hi, Stuart.
351
00:15:00,254 --> 00:15:01,052
Hi, Sheldon.
352
00:15:01,054 --> 00:15:03,088
Pardon me... Excuse me...
353
00:15:07,993 --> 00:15:10,061
Sheldon, what are
you doing here?
354
00:15:10,063 --> 00:15:12,865
The thought of you
sitting in a darkened theater
355
00:15:12,867 --> 00:15:16,235
with a character
like Stuart is repellent.
356
00:15:17,671 --> 00:15:19,506
No offense, Stuart.
357
00:15:19,508 --> 00:15:20,941
None taken.
358
00:15:20,943 --> 00:15:24,278
Although "repellent" is kind
of a... kind of a strong word.
359
00:15:28,117 --> 00:15:30,919
I'm sorry this causes
you discomfort,
360
00:15:30,921 --> 00:15:33,321
but based on the currently
established parameters
361
00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:35,324
of our relationship,
I can put myself
362
00:15:35,326 --> 00:15:37,126
in any repellent
situation I want.
363
00:15:37,128 --> 00:15:38,961
Um, again...
364
00:15:38,963 --> 00:15:41,297
Stuart, please.
You're being rude.
365
00:15:43,434 --> 00:15:45,869
Anything else?
366
00:15:45,871 --> 00:15:49,505
I believe I would
like to alter
367
00:15:49,507 --> 00:15:52,275
the paradigm
of our relationship.
368
00:15:54,111 --> 00:15:55,978
I'm listening.
369
00:15:55,980 --> 00:16:00,816
With the understanding
that nothing changes whatsoever,
370
00:16:00,818 --> 00:16:02,685
physical or otherwise,
371
00:16:02,687 --> 00:16:05,188
I would not object to us
372
00:16:05,190 --> 00:16:10,526
no longer characterizing you
as "not my girlfriend."
373
00:16:16,133 --> 00:16:18,500
Interesting.
374
00:16:18,502 --> 00:16:21,670
Now try it without the
quadruple negative.
375
00:16:21,672 --> 00:16:25,040
You're being impossible.
376
00:16:25,042 --> 00:16:27,242
Hi, Stuart.
377
00:16:29,145 --> 00:16:32,147
Fine.
378
00:16:32,149 --> 00:16:35,718
Amy...
379
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:38,855
will you be my girlfriend?
380
00:16:45,230 --> 00:16:46,230
Yes.
381
00:16:46,232 --> 00:16:49,600
Well, that's enough
of that.
382
00:16:49,602 --> 00:16:51,102
Sorry to interrupt.
383
00:16:51,104 --> 00:16:53,004
You two enjoy your date.
384
00:16:53,006 --> 00:16:54,738
Here's a dollar
for your troubles.
385
00:16:54,740 --> 00:16:56,773
Get yourself
some Sour Patch Kids.
386
00:16:56,775 --> 00:16:58,642
Excuse me... Excuse me...
Pardon me...
387
00:16:58,644 --> 00:17:01,411
Excuse me.
Pardon me.
388
00:17:02,546 --> 00:17:06,449
So, other than you
taking your relationship
389
00:17:06,451 --> 00:17:10,686
to the next level with
another guy, this was nice.
390
00:17:12,456 --> 00:17:14,724
Yes, well, thanks for
seeing me to my door.
391
00:17:14,726 --> 00:17:16,092
Oh, you're welcome.
392
00:17:16,094 --> 00:17:19,929
Amy. Amy. Amy.
393
00:17:21,798 --> 00:17:25,235
Let's wrap things up out there.
394
00:17:28,305 --> 00:17:30,240
Um, good night, Stuart.
395
00:17:30,242 --> 00:17:31,240
Good night.
396
00:17:33,043 --> 00:17:34,711
Take the hint, Stuart.
397
00:17:34,713 --> 00:17:36,979
The lady said
"Good night."
398
00:17:40,384 --> 00:17:42,518
How did you get
into my apartment?
399
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,154
Wow. Is that the kind
of nagging I can expect
400
00:17:45,156 --> 00:17:46,855
now that you're my girlfriend?
401
00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:50,860
Good thing I drew this up.
402
00:17:50,862 --> 00:17:52,394
What's that?
403
00:17:52,396 --> 00:17:56,464
I present to you
the relationship agreement.
404
00:18:00,035 --> 00:18:02,770
A binding covenant that,
in its 31 pages,
405
00:18:02,772 --> 00:18:04,939
enumerates, iterates
and codifies
406
00:18:04,941 --> 00:18:07,842
the rights and responsibilities
of Sheldon Lee Cooper,
407
00:18:07,844 --> 00:18:09,844
here and after known
as "the boyfriend,"
408
00:18:09,846 --> 00:18:15,383
and Amy Farrah Fowler, here and
after known as "the girlfriend""
409
00:18:17,053 --> 00:18:20,422
It's so romantic.
410
00:18:20,424 --> 00:18:22,458
Mutual indemnification
always is.
411
00:18:25,930 --> 00:18:30,299
Why don't you start perusing
while I set up my notary stamp.
412
00:18:30,301 --> 00:18:33,635
"Section 5:
Hand-holding.
413
00:18:33,637 --> 00:18:35,070
"Hand-holding
is only allowed
414
00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:36,705
"under the following
circumstances.
415
00:18:36,707 --> 00:18:39,507
"A: Either party is in danger
of falling off a cliff,
416
00:18:39,509 --> 00:18:41,209
"precipice or ledge;
417
00:18:41,211 --> 00:18:43,744
"B: Either party is deserving
of a hearty handshake
418
00:18:43,746 --> 00:18:46,347
"after winning
a Nobel Prize;
419
00:18:46,349 --> 00:18:49,617
C: Moral support
during flu shots""
420
00:18:52,621 --> 00:18:54,122
Seems a bit
restrictive.
421
00:18:54,124 --> 00:18:56,124
Feel free to retain a lawyer.
422
00:19:08,577 --> 00:19:10,711
Penny, I said "right hand red."
423
00:19:10,713 --> 00:19:11,846
Yeah, I heard you.
424
00:19:11,848 --> 00:19:14,615
I got red.
425
00:19:14,617 --> 00:19:19,320
Bernadette, left
foot yellow.
426
00:19:20,757 --> 00:19:22,891
We should play limbo next.
427
00:19:22,893 --> 00:19:25,060
No one beats me at limbo.
428
00:19:26,129 --> 00:19:29,932
Penny. Amy. Bernadette.
429
00:19:32,103 --> 00:19:33,337
That's my boyfriend.
430
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:34,704
It's open!
431
00:19:34,706 --> 00:19:37,273
I got a splinter.
432
00:19:37,275 --> 00:19:40,276
What do you want me
to do about it?
433
00:19:40,278 --> 00:19:43,413
Relationship agreement
Section 4: Boo-boos and Ouchies.
434
00:19:43,415 --> 00:19:45,114
You have to take care of it.
435
00:19:45,116 --> 00:19:47,316
I should've gotten a lawyer.
436
00:19:50,186 --> 00:19:52,921
Looks like it's just us playing.
437
00:19:58,928 --> 00:20:01,597
Penny?
438
00:20:03,833 --> 00:20:05,101
Penny, we're out of wine!
439
00:20:05,103 --> 00:20:06,403
You should probably drive.