1
00:00:01,791 --> 00:00:04,445
So, Bernadette, how goes
the hunt for bridesmaid dresses?
2
00:00:04,446 --> 00:00:06,012
Well, if you don't mind
looking like
3
00:00:06,014 --> 00:00:07,814
an orange traffic cone, great.
4
00:00:07,816 --> 00:00:10,567
AMY: Girlfriends,
I have the answer
5
00:00:10,569 --> 00:00:11,735
to our dress problems.
6
00:00:11,737 --> 00:00:12,786
BERNADETTE:
Really?
7
00:00:12,788 --> 00:00:14,904
AMY: 12 years ago,
my cousin Irene
8
00:00:14,906 --> 00:00:16,022
and her entire family died
9
00:00:16,024 --> 00:00:18,024
in a horrific
carbon monoxide accident
10
00:00:18,026 --> 00:00:20,076
the night before her wedding.
11
00:00:21,245 --> 00:00:22,712
That's horrible.
12
00:00:22,714 --> 00:00:24,497
Yes and no.
13
00:00:25,583 --> 00:00:27,550
All those bridesmaids dresses
remain unused
14
00:00:27,552 --> 00:00:29,753
and available to us for free.
15
00:00:29,755 --> 00:00:31,755
So it seems
16
00:00:31,757 --> 00:00:33,556
that cloud of
odorless deadly gas
17
00:00:33,558 --> 00:00:35,341
had a silver lining after all.
18
00:00:35,343 --> 00:00:36,843
Check it out,
19
00:00:36,845 --> 00:00:37,877
still in the bags.
20
00:00:37,879 --> 00:00:39,846
The gowns, not the bridesmaids.
21
00:00:42,516 --> 00:00:43,817
I don't know.
22
00:00:43,819 --> 00:00:45,485
Dead people's dresses?
23
00:00:45,487 --> 00:00:47,520
Yeah, and
cap sleeves
24
00:00:47,522 --> 00:00:49,272
Eh...
25
00:00:49,274 --> 00:00:51,557
Oh, I was hoping
you wouldn't notice.
26
00:00:51,559 --> 00:00:53,693
Irene was always
a slave to a good bargain
27
00:00:53,695 --> 00:00:54,894
when it came to clothes,
28
00:00:54,896 --> 00:00:57,163
and sadly as it turned out,
space heaters.
29
00:00:58,365 --> 00:00:59,949
Ladies, please.
30
00:00:59,951 --> 00:01:04,454
These four walls once housed
an intellectual salon
31
00:01:04,456 --> 00:01:06,572
where the mind
received nourishment
32
00:01:06,574 --> 00:01:08,124
as well as the stomach.
33
00:01:08,126 --> 00:01:11,077
But through no one's fault,
Penny,
34
00:01:11,079 --> 00:01:14,130
the quality of
dinner conversation
35
00:01:14,132 --> 00:01:16,249
in this apartment
has declined.
36
00:01:16,251 --> 00:01:20,270
And again, I'm looking at
no one in particular, Penny.
37
00:01:21,522 --> 00:01:22,722
Fine.
38
00:01:22,724 --> 00:01:24,274
What would you like
to talk about, Sheldon?
39
00:01:24,276 --> 00:01:26,726
"What would you like
to talk about, Sheldon?"
40
00:01:26,728 --> 00:01:28,895
Why do you hate us?
41
00:01:30,197 --> 00:01:31,430
I've prepared a number of topics
42
00:01:31,432 --> 00:01:32,982
that should appeal
to both the advanced
43
00:01:32,984 --> 00:01:35,652
and novice
conversationalists.
44
00:01:35,654 --> 00:01:37,704
Okay, that time
you looked at me.
45
00:01:38,622 --> 00:01:39,706
Who didn't?
46
00:01:39,708 --> 00:01:41,124
Your skin is
like alabaster.
47
00:01:41,126 --> 00:01:43,460
Do you even
have pores?
48
00:01:44,261 --> 00:01:46,045
SHELDON:
Topic one:
49
00:01:46,047 --> 00:01:48,548
"Faster-than-light particles
at CERN--
50
00:01:48,550 --> 00:01:50,483
"paradigm-shifting discovery
51
00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:53,837
or another Swiss export as
full of holes as their cheese?"
52
00:01:53,839 --> 00:01:55,221
And converse.
53
00:01:56,307 --> 00:01:58,024
PENNY:
All right, who wants to go
54
00:01:58,026 --> 00:01:59,425
to my apartment and look at
bridal magazines?
55
00:01:59,427 --> 00:02:00,727
Oh, me.
56
00:02:00,729 --> 00:02:03,563
Through no one's fault, Sheldon,
we're leaving.
57
00:02:05,349 --> 00:02:07,233
Wait for moi.
58
00:02:07,235 --> 00:02:09,152
You're leaving?
59
00:02:09,154 --> 00:02:11,938
Sheldon, sometimes you forget,
I'm a lady.
60
00:02:11,940 --> 00:02:13,072
And with that comes
61
00:02:13,074 --> 00:02:14,657
an estrogen-fueled need
to page through
62
00:02:14,659 --> 00:02:17,076
thick glossy magazines
that make me hate my body.
63
00:02:22,199 --> 00:02:24,167
New topic: women.
64
00:02:24,169 --> 00:02:28,204
Delightfully mysterious
or bat-crap crazy?
65
00:02:28,206 --> 00:02:29,205
Totally.
66
00:02:29,207 --> 00:02:30,656
What's wrong with cap sleeves?
67
00:02:30,658 --> 00:02:33,293
If you have the right figure
for it, they're adorable.
68
00:02:36,663 --> 00:02:40,300
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
69
00:02:40,302 --> 00:02:43,636
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
70
00:02:43,638 --> 00:02:45,271
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
71
00:02:45,273 --> 00:02:47,790
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
72
00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:50,460
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
73
00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:53,146
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
74
00:02:53,148 --> 00:02:55,031
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
75
00:02:55,033 --> 00:02:55,693
♪ Bang! ♪
76
00:02:55,694 --> 00:02:58,694
The Big Bang Theory 5x08
The Isolation Permutation
Original Air Date on November 3, 2011
77
00:02:59,195 --> 00:03:02,295
78
00:03:02,337 --> 00:03:05,205
Hey, Amy, what brings you
to our neck of the woods?
79
00:03:05,207 --> 00:03:08,041
Your neurology department
loaned me a culture of prions
80
00:03:08,043 --> 00:03:10,827
for my research on bovine
spongiform encephalopathy.
81
00:03:14,599 --> 00:03:18,685
She popped by to borrow
a cup of mad cow disease.
82
00:03:20,555 --> 00:03:23,106
It's hard to make degenerative
brain maladies hilarious,
83
00:03:23,108 --> 00:03:24,942
and yet somehow you do it.
84
00:03:26,694 --> 00:03:28,896
That's fun to have
in a lunchroom.
85
00:03:28,898 --> 00:03:31,114
The real fun starts
when you get to pick the rat
86
00:03:31,116 --> 00:03:33,183
you're going to feed it to,
and maybe you choose
87
00:03:33,185 --> 00:03:36,036
the beady-eyed little mother
who's been biting you all week.
88
00:03:36,038 --> 00:03:38,822
Please, we're eating.
89
00:03:38,824 --> 00:03:40,457
Can we get that
off the table
90
00:03:40,459 --> 00:03:41,458
and change the subject?
91
00:03:41,460 --> 00:03:42,409
Can we?
92
00:03:42,411 --> 00:03:44,244
Stand back...
93
00:03:44,246 --> 00:03:48,882
while I turn this conversation
into a "conver-sensation."
94
00:03:48,884 --> 00:03:51,001
This time, it's your fault.
95
00:03:52,136 --> 00:03:54,555
I have 100
alphabetized topics from
96
00:03:54,557 --> 00:03:57,591
"artichoke-- come on, people,
it's just a giant thistle,"
97
00:03:57,593 --> 00:04:02,896
to "zzz-- the onamona-poetry
of sleep."
98
00:04:02,898 --> 00:04:04,881
Amy, how long
would it take
99
00:04:04,883 --> 00:04:07,901
for that mad cow disease
to kill me?
100
00:04:07,903 --> 00:04:09,937
I don't know,
four or five years.
101
00:04:11,439 --> 00:04:13,723
No, it's not gonna do it.
102
00:04:16,861 --> 00:04:19,746
Oy. Bernadette keeps
texting me pictures
103
00:04:19,748 --> 00:04:22,332
of Penny in bridesmaid dresses.
104
00:04:22,334 --> 00:04:23,951
They're out shopping right now?
105
00:04:23,953 --> 00:04:24,918
Yeah.
106
00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:26,119
Just the two of them?
107
00:04:26,121 --> 00:04:27,737
I guess.
108
00:04:28,573 --> 00:04:32,042
That's cool, that's cool.
109
00:04:32,044 --> 00:04:33,961
Why are they asking me
about this stuff?
110
00:04:33,963 --> 00:04:37,431
What guy knows
what a sweetheart neckline is?
111
00:04:43,938 --> 00:04:46,189
(video game music
playing over TV)
112
00:04:48,926 --> 00:04:52,279
Leonard's coming down
the home stretch!
113
00:04:54,816 --> 00:04:57,034
Come on, horsey,
you can do this!
114
00:04:58,936 --> 00:05:02,322
Damn. Come on, thigh muscles,
you can do this!
115
00:05:02,324 --> 00:05:03,573
(panting)
116
00:05:03,575 --> 00:05:05,792
Yes! First place.
117
00:05:05,794 --> 00:05:09,880
I would have been a great jockey
if I weren't too tall.
118
00:05:11,499 --> 00:05:13,884
And scared of horses.
119
00:05:13,886 --> 00:05:15,135
Sheldon, you're up.
120
00:05:15,137 --> 00:05:16,637
What?
121
00:05:16,639 --> 00:05:17,804
Come on, it's your turn.
122
00:05:17,806 --> 00:05:20,340
We said we'd get more fresh air.
123
00:05:20,342 --> 00:05:21,925
Sorry.
124
00:05:21,927 --> 00:05:23,260
I'm a little distracted.
125
00:05:23,262 --> 00:05:25,429
I can't seem
to get in touch with Amy.
126
00:05:25,431 --> 00:05:27,297
I tried e-mail, video chat,
127
00:05:27,299 --> 00:05:28,798
tweeting her,
posting on
128
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:31,268
her Facebook wall,
texting her, nothing.
129
00:05:31,270 --> 00:05:33,236
Did you try calling her
on the telephone?
130
00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:36,156
The telephone.
131
00:05:39,477 --> 00:05:42,279
You know, Leonard,
in your own simple way,
132
00:05:42,281 --> 00:05:44,981
you may be the wisest of us all.
133
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,167
Voice mail.
134
00:05:47,169 --> 00:05:50,921
Curiouser and curiouser.
135
00:05:50,923 --> 00:05:52,589
If you're worried,
we can go over there
136
00:05:52,591 --> 00:05:53,823
and see if she's all right.
137
00:05:53,825 --> 00:05:54,991
Okay.
138
00:05:54,993 --> 00:05:56,460
You know, I heard
in the news
139
00:05:56,462 --> 00:06:00,430
a bobcat has been spotted
in her neighborhood.
140
00:06:00,432 --> 00:06:03,300
I don't think
Amy was eaten by a bobcat.
141
00:06:03,302 --> 00:06:06,186
Who thinks Amy was
eaten by a bobcat?
142
00:06:07,055 --> 00:06:08,638
You do?
143
00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:12,642
Leonard, I was just mentioning
an interesting local news item.
144
00:06:12,644 --> 00:06:15,862
Now, thanks to you, I'm worried
Amy's been eaten by a bobcat.
145
00:06:15,864 --> 00:06:17,948
Forget about the bobcat.
146
00:06:17,950 --> 00:06:20,701
How can I?
You won't stop talking about it!
147
00:06:23,488 --> 00:06:28,458
♪ Everybody hurts ♪
148
00:06:28,460 --> 00:06:30,860
♪ Sometimes ♪
149
00:06:30,862 --> 00:06:34,214
(voice breaking):
♪ Everybody cries ♪
150
00:06:34,216 --> 00:06:35,749
(sobbing)
151
00:06:37,552 --> 00:06:41,871
♪ Everybody hurts ♪
152
00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:45,041
Sometimes.
153
00:06:45,043 --> 00:06:46,460
She sounds weepy.
154
00:06:46,462 --> 00:06:47,978
I don't like weepy. Let's go.
155
00:06:47,980 --> 00:06:49,429
Uh...
156
00:06:49,431 --> 00:06:50,731
She's your friend.
157
00:06:50,733 --> 00:06:52,099
Step up.
158
00:06:53,484 --> 00:06:56,052
Amy. Amy. Amy.
159
00:06:56,054 --> 00:06:57,571
Bye.
160
00:06:57,573 --> 00:06:58,688
Where are you going?
161
00:06:58,690 --> 00:07:01,491
I'm single, I don't
need this crap.
162
00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:05,061
Sheldon, what are you
doing here?
163
00:07:05,063 --> 00:07:06,196
You didn't respond to
164
00:07:06,198 --> 00:07:08,165
any of my electronic
communications.
165
00:07:08,167 --> 00:07:09,950
I wanted to be alone.
166
00:07:12,754 --> 00:07:14,538
Would you like to talk about it?
167
00:07:14,540 --> 00:07:19,676
And keep in mind that "no"
is a perfectly viable answer.
168
00:07:19,678 --> 00:07:23,013
Sheldon, my world is
crumbling around me.
169
00:07:23,015 --> 00:07:25,248
Point of order.
170
00:07:25,250 --> 00:07:28,251
As you're in distress,
it would be customary
171
00:07:28,253 --> 00:07:30,470
for me to offer you
a hot beverage.
172
00:07:31,672 --> 00:07:33,523
But I'm a guest in your home,
173
00:07:33,525 --> 00:07:37,027
so it would be customary for you
to offer me a beverage.
174
00:07:38,262 --> 00:07:41,948
How do you want to proceed
vis-à-vis beverages?
175
00:07:41,950 --> 00:07:43,116
It doesn't matter.
176
00:07:43,118 --> 00:07:45,485
Nothing matters.
177
00:07:46,788 --> 00:07:50,791
If you'd like to take your mind
off what's troubling you,
178
00:07:50,793 --> 00:07:55,162
uh, word on the street is
a bobcat has been spotted.
179
00:07:55,997 --> 00:07:57,947
Penny and Bernadette
went shopping
180
00:07:57,949 --> 00:07:59,782
for bridesmaids dresses
without me.
181
00:07:59,784 --> 00:08:05,455
And that made
you feel... sad?
182
00:08:05,457 --> 00:08:07,057
Yes.
183
00:08:07,059 --> 00:08:08,809
I knew it.
184
00:08:09,727 --> 00:08:10,760
Just keep going.
185
00:08:10,762 --> 00:08:12,846
I guess I'm
good at this.
186
00:08:14,515 --> 00:08:16,850
It's just, I thought
they liked hanging out with me,
187
00:08:16,852 --> 00:08:19,236
but I guess I was
fooling myself.
188
00:08:19,238 --> 00:08:21,988
When they were
over here,
189
00:08:21,990 --> 00:08:25,808
did you fail to offer
them a beverage?
190
00:08:27,078 --> 00:08:30,747
'Cause I can see how that
could stick in someone's craw.
191
00:08:30,749 --> 00:08:33,917
Sheldon, I'm going
to ask you something,
192
00:08:33,919 --> 00:08:36,002
and I'd like you
to keep an open mind.
193
00:08:36,004 --> 00:08:37,370
Always.
194
00:08:37,372 --> 00:08:40,540
At this moment, I find myself
195
00:08:40,542 --> 00:08:42,759
craving human intimacy
and physical contact.
196
00:08:42,761 --> 00:08:44,661
Oh, boy.
197
00:08:47,999 --> 00:08:51,935
You know ours is a
relationship of the mind.
198
00:08:51,937 --> 00:08:54,337
Proposal.
199
00:08:54,339 --> 00:08:56,356
One wild night
of torrid lovemaking
200
00:08:56,358 --> 00:08:58,892
that soothes my soul
and inflames my loins.
201
00:09:03,397 --> 00:09:06,199
Counterproposal.
202
00:09:06,201 --> 00:09:09,519
I will gently
stroke your head
203
00:09:09,521 --> 00:09:13,356
and repeat, "Aw,
who's a good Amy""
204
00:09:16,043 --> 00:09:18,411
How about this?
205
00:09:18,413 --> 00:09:21,164
French kissing--
seven minutes in heaven
206
00:09:21,166 --> 00:09:24,134
culminating in second base.
207
00:09:27,455 --> 00:09:30,307
Neck massage...
208
00:09:32,226 --> 00:09:34,928
...then you get me
that beverage.
209
00:09:40,551 --> 00:09:42,885
We cuddle. Final offer.
210
00:09:43,704 --> 00:09:45,438
Very well.
211
00:09:52,396 --> 00:09:54,598
Oh, boy.
212
00:10:16,387 --> 00:10:20,040
I'm just saying,
second base is right there.
213
00:10:26,610 --> 00:10:28,507
Mm, I'm thinking
about adopting
214
00:10:28,508 --> 00:10:31,960
some quirky affectation,
like a pipe or a monocle
215
00:10:31,962 --> 00:10:34,679
or a handlebar mustache.
216
00:10:34,681 --> 00:10:37,499
For all those girls out there
217
00:10:37,501 --> 00:10:40,368
looking for
the Indian Monopoly man?
218
00:10:43,405 --> 00:10:45,073
This is not a safe place.
219
00:10:45,075 --> 00:10:47,392
You can't share anything here.
220
00:10:49,195 --> 00:10:53,364
The two of you need to get
your women in line!
221
00:10:54,700 --> 00:10:55,984
What?
222
00:10:55,986 --> 00:10:57,785
Last night I was strong-armed
223
00:10:57,787 --> 00:10:59,937
into an evening
of harp music and spooning
224
00:10:59,939 --> 00:11:01,873
with an emotional
Amy Farrah Fowler.
225
00:11:01,875 --> 00:11:03,074
This on a night
226
00:11:03,076 --> 00:11:04,942
that I had originally
designated for solving
227
00:11:04,944 --> 00:11:07,278
the space-time geometry
in higher-spin gravity
228
00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:09,797
and building my Lego Death Star.
229
00:11:11,050 --> 00:11:14,419
And why? Your gal pals,
Penny and Bernadette,
230
00:11:14,421 --> 00:11:16,721
went out shopping for some
wedding nonsense without Amy,
231
00:11:16,723 --> 00:11:19,057
an action they took
with no thought or regard
232
00:11:19,059 --> 00:11:22,176
as to how it would affect me,
the future of string theory
233
00:11:22,178 --> 00:11:24,729
or my Lego fun time!
234
00:11:26,015 --> 00:11:27,849
What do you want us
to do about it?
235
00:11:27,851 --> 00:11:30,184
You clearly weren't listening
to my topic sentence:
236
00:11:30,186 --> 00:11:32,103
Get your women in line!
237
00:11:33,188 --> 00:11:35,657
You make them apologize to Amy
and set things right.
238
00:11:35,659 --> 00:11:38,643
I am a man of science,
not someone's snuggle bunny!
239
00:11:38,645 --> 00:11:41,312
Why do I have
to talk to Penny?
240
00:11:41,314 --> 00:11:42,664
She's not my girlfriend.
241
00:11:42,666 --> 00:11:44,415
You invited her to lunch
four years ago.
242
00:11:44,417 --> 00:11:46,784
Everything about her is on you;
you make it so!
243
00:11:50,322 --> 00:11:52,123
- Moo-shu is Penny.
- Thank you.
244
00:11:52,125 --> 00:11:53,541
Where's Sheldon?
245
00:11:53,543 --> 00:11:54,926
He was up late last night,
246
00:11:54,928 --> 00:11:58,129
so I gave him an early dinner
and put him to bed.
247
00:11:58,131 --> 00:11:59,631
That's so sweet.
248
00:11:59,633 --> 00:12:02,884
Yeah, but now he's gonna be
up at dawn and want to play.
249
00:12:02,886 --> 00:12:05,470
So, listen, guys,
250
00:12:05,472 --> 00:12:08,056
the reason he was up late
is because he was
251
00:12:08,058 --> 00:12:09,357
taking care of Amy.
252
00:12:09,359 --> 00:12:10,892
She's kind of upset.
253
00:12:10,894 --> 00:12:11,943
Why?
254
00:12:11,945 --> 00:12:13,611
Her feelings got hurt
because you guys
255
00:12:13,613 --> 00:12:15,029
went dress shopping without her.
256
00:12:15,031 --> 00:12:17,031
I told you that
would happen.
257
00:12:17,033 --> 00:12:19,317
Okay, look, this is her first
time being a bridesmaid
258
00:12:19,319 --> 00:12:21,686
and she's just getting
a little crazy with it.
259
00:12:21,688 --> 00:12:24,240
She keeps on telling us
stories about bridesmaid
260
00:12:24,252 --> 00:12:26,478
traditions in other cultures,
and they're all about
261
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:29,197
getting naked and
washing each other.
262
00:12:35,668 --> 00:12:37,418
Yeah, and
she keeps trying
263
00:12:37,420 --> 00:12:39,671
to figure out if our
cycles have synced up
264
00:12:39,673 --> 00:12:43,257
so we can call ourselves
"The Three Menstra-Teers""
265
00:12:44,810 --> 00:12:48,229
We thought it would be easier to look
at dresses one time without her.
266
00:12:48,231 --> 00:12:49,847
I feel terrible.
267
00:12:49,872 --> 00:12:51,016
I know. Me, too.
We'll talk to her.
268
00:12:51,017 --> 00:12:52,266
Hey, wait,
269
00:12:52,268 --> 00:12:53,568
how did she find out?
270
00:12:54,486 --> 00:12:56,938
Raj did it.
271
00:12:59,358 --> 00:13:02,860
And he says he
would do it again.
272
00:13:04,363 --> 00:13:05,913
Hey, I'm sorry.
273
00:13:05,915 --> 00:13:08,733
You sent me the picture;
I wasn't thinking.
274
00:13:08,735 --> 00:13:10,618
- Oh, Howie.
- Well, hey, I'm usually
275
00:13:10,620 --> 00:13:12,069
pretty good at
not blabbing.
276
00:13:12,071 --> 00:13:13,871
You tell me
tons of stuff
277
00:13:13,873 --> 00:13:16,591
about these guys,
and I never repeat it.
278
00:13:18,310 --> 00:13:20,511
- What do you tell him?
- Oh,
279
00:13:20,513 --> 00:13:21,746
you know, just pillow talk.
280
00:13:21,748 --> 00:13:24,298
You guys have nothing
to worry about.
281
00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:26,100
Hold on, did you talk about us
when we were dating?
282
00:13:26,102 --> 00:13:29,370
No. All your little
secrets are fine.
283
00:13:33,692 --> 00:13:36,194
Yes, absolutely fine.
284
00:13:38,147 --> 00:13:40,765
(giggles):
I'll tell you later.
285
00:13:43,935 --> 00:13:47,121
Come on, tumor.
286
00:13:47,123 --> 00:13:51,542
Come on, tumor, Mama needs an
aggressive little glioblastoma.
287
00:13:52,795 --> 00:13:55,463
Yay, brain tumor!
288
00:13:55,465 --> 00:13:59,950
Probably not the same reaction
you had when you got the news.
289
00:14:01,086 --> 00:14:03,588
- Hi.
- Hello.
290
00:14:03,590 --> 00:14:05,173
What are you doing here?
291
00:14:05,175 --> 00:14:07,175
Well, look, we just
wanted to apologize
292
00:14:07,177 --> 00:14:09,510
for not bringing you
with us the other day.
293
00:14:09,512 --> 00:14:12,096
That's not necessary--
it's like Sesame Street says:
294
00:14:12,098 --> 00:14:14,482
"One of these things
is not like the other,
295
00:14:14,484 --> 00:14:17,985
one of these things
should die alone."
296
00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:20,354
Come on, Amy, let us
make it up to you.
297
00:14:20,356 --> 00:14:21,606
We'll have a girl's night;
298
00:14:21,608 --> 00:14:23,191
we'll do whatever
you want.
299
00:14:23,193 --> 00:14:24,809
We can go down
to the Korean baths
300
00:14:24,811 --> 00:14:26,494
and do that thing
you were talking about
301
00:14:26,496 --> 00:14:28,663
where we wash each other.
302
00:14:29,615 --> 00:14:32,483
With-with loofah mitts,
no hands.
303
00:14:33,702 --> 00:14:35,570
It's okay.
I'm glad this happened.
304
00:14:35,572 --> 00:14:38,289
I can stop pretending
that some beautiful girl
305
00:14:38,291 --> 00:14:40,007
and her cute-in-
the-right-light friend
306
00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:42,260
want to hang out with me.
307
00:14:42,262 --> 00:14:44,328
Amy, we're really sorry.
308
00:14:44,330 --> 00:14:45,996
Yeah, we
feel awful.
309
00:14:45,998 --> 00:14:48,182
Don't. I'll be okay.
You're not the first girls
310
00:14:48,184 --> 00:14:50,885
I thought were friends with me
who ended up shunning me.
311
00:14:50,887 --> 00:14:53,104
It's like elementary school,
junior high,
312
00:14:53,106 --> 00:14:55,106
high school, undergrad,
grad school,
313
00:14:55,108 --> 00:14:58,059
and that semester abroad
in Norway all over again.
314
00:14:58,061 --> 00:14:59,610
Oh, come on, Amy.
315
00:15:00,446 --> 00:15:02,363
You don't get it.
316
00:15:02,365 --> 00:15:04,115
Look at this brain.
317
00:15:04,117 --> 00:15:06,951
I don't really want to.
318
00:15:06,953 --> 00:15:09,153
This is us.
319
00:15:09,155 --> 00:15:11,155
Bernadette,
you are the analytical,
320
00:15:11,157 --> 00:15:12,857
scientific left hemisphere.
321
00:15:12,859 --> 00:15:16,043
Penny, you're the creative,
spontaneous right hemisphere.
322
00:15:16,045 --> 00:15:18,296
And where's Amy?
323
00:15:18,298 --> 00:15:20,865
She's right here--
the sad little tumor
324
00:15:20,867 --> 00:15:23,468
no one wants to go
dress shopping with.
325
00:15:25,971 --> 00:15:27,672
Amy, you're not a tumor.
326
00:15:27,674 --> 00:15:30,057
Penny, tell her
she's not a tumor.
327
00:15:30,059 --> 00:15:31,926
(retching)
328
00:15:38,049 --> 00:15:40,651
(phone ringing)
329
00:15:40,653 --> 00:15:43,387
Did you know that when
Alexander Graham Bell
330
00:15:43,389 --> 00:15:45,251
invented the telephone,
331
00:15:45,276 --> 00:15:47,988
he proposed answering
it with "ahoy"?
332
00:15:49,528 --> 00:15:51,746
Ahoy.
333
00:15:52,781 --> 00:15:55,500
I like it.
334
00:15:55,502 --> 00:15:58,035
Amy? Is that you?
335
00:15:58,037 --> 00:16:00,204
Have you been drinking?
336
00:16:00,989 --> 00:16:03,841
I'm sorry, I bet my sweet what?
337
00:16:04,877 --> 00:16:07,512
Well, all right.
We're on our way.
338
00:16:07,514 --> 00:16:09,213
What's going on?
339
00:16:09,215 --> 00:16:13,885
It would seem Amy is drunk
in a liquor store parking lot.
340
00:16:13,887 --> 00:16:15,353
Really? Amy?
341
00:16:15,355 --> 00:16:17,138
Leonard, be glad
you can't keep a woman.
342
00:16:17,140 --> 00:16:18,606
They are a handful.
343
00:16:25,647 --> 00:16:27,031
Oh, look.
344
00:16:27,033 --> 00:16:28,766
It's Sheldon and little Leonard.
345
00:16:28,768 --> 00:16:31,202
Hi, little Leonard.
346
00:16:31,204 --> 00:16:33,404
Hi, Amy.
347
00:16:33,406 --> 00:16:35,039
Hey, Cuddles.
348
00:16:35,041 --> 00:16:37,208
Cuddles?
349
00:16:37,210 --> 00:16:38,993
Yes, Cuddles.
We cuddled.
350
00:16:38,995 --> 00:16:40,411
Grow up, Leonard.
351
00:16:42,748 --> 00:16:44,999
- Amy, what are you doing here?
- Well,
352
00:16:45,001 --> 00:16:47,218
I came here to get
a bottle of wine
353
00:16:47,220 --> 00:16:50,120
like Penny taught me to do
when you're sad.
354
00:16:50,122 --> 00:16:53,804
Yeah, but why didn't you
go back to your apartment?
355
00:16:53,809 --> 00:16:55,143
Didn't you go
to high school, Leonard?
356
00:16:55,144 --> 00:16:58,312
Parking lots are where
all the cool kids hang out.
357
00:16:58,314 --> 00:17:01,799
Not that the rat bastards
ever invited me.
358
00:17:01,801 --> 00:17:03,351
Maybe we should
get you home.
359
00:17:03,353 --> 00:17:05,302
Oh, hang on, hang on,
hang on. Sheldon,
360
00:17:05,304 --> 00:17:09,023
what would it take for you
to go into that liquor store,
361
00:17:09,025 --> 00:17:10,608
buy a bottle of hooch,
362
00:17:10,610 --> 00:17:13,060
take me across the
street to that motel,
363
00:17:13,062 --> 00:17:16,163
and have your way with me?
364
00:17:17,866 --> 00:17:20,868
Yeah, Sheldon,
what would it take?
365
00:17:23,321 --> 00:17:26,424
I'm begging both of you,
please, let's go.
366
00:17:26,426 --> 00:17:27,842
Okay.
367
00:17:27,844 --> 00:17:29,326
Come on.
368
00:17:29,328 --> 00:17:31,045
- Upsy-daisy.
- Whee!
369
00:17:31,047 --> 00:17:33,681
Ooh, finally someone
found second base.
370
00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:40,588
I know how you feel.
371
00:17:40,590 --> 00:17:44,892
I got a knife slicing
through my frontal lobe, too.
372
00:17:44,894 --> 00:17:46,176
(knocking)
373
00:17:46,178 --> 00:17:47,895
Hi.
374
00:17:47,897 --> 00:17:49,179
What do you want?
375
00:17:49,181 --> 00:17:51,616
Do you want me to give
the friendship bracelet back?
376
00:17:51,618 --> 00:17:54,785
I never gave you
a friendship bracelet.
377
00:17:54,787 --> 00:17:58,456
When we first met, I made one
and pretended you gave it to me.
378
00:17:58,458 --> 00:18:00,508
You can have it back
if you want.
379
00:18:00,510 --> 00:18:05,262
No, you made that for you;
I want you to have it.
380
00:18:06,531 --> 00:18:08,749
We know you're upset,
and you have every right to be,
381
00:18:08,751 --> 00:18:11,135
but if it's okay with you,
we'd like a second chance
382
00:18:11,137 --> 00:18:12,202
to make things right.
383
00:18:12,204 --> 00:18:13,771
PENNY:
We are really sorry,
384
00:18:13,773 --> 00:18:16,424
and we were trying to think
of some way to show you
385
00:18:16,426 --> 00:18:17,892
how much we
care about you.
386
00:18:17,894 --> 00:18:18,926
BERNADETTE:
Which is why
387
00:18:18,928 --> 00:18:20,895
it would mean so much
if you would agree
388
00:18:20,897 --> 00:18:22,930
to be the maid of honor
at my wedding.
389
00:18:22,932 --> 00:18:26,400
What? Wait, is this some kind
of practical joke?
390
00:18:26,402 --> 00:18:28,569
Like in Norway,
when my "friends"
391
00:18:28,571 --> 00:18:31,772
trapped me in a sauna
with a horny otter?
392
00:18:34,660 --> 00:18:38,329
No. I-I want you to be
the maid of honor.
393
00:18:38,331 --> 00:18:39,947
Oh, my gosh.
394
00:18:39,949 --> 00:18:42,667
No one's every asked me to be
the maid of honor before.
395
00:18:42,669 --> 00:18:43,951
Well, that's not true.
396
00:18:43,953 --> 00:18:46,671
Once, but then they all died.
397
00:18:47,873 --> 00:18:50,257
So is that a yes?
398
00:18:50,259 --> 00:18:52,293
(laughs):
Yes. Yes.
399
00:18:52,295 --> 00:18:53,961
Oh, my gosh,
400
00:18:53,963 --> 00:18:55,296
I-I have so much to do.
401
00:18:55,298 --> 00:18:57,682
There's the bridal shower
and the bachelorette party.
402
00:18:57,684 --> 00:18:59,467
What should we do for
the bachelorette party? (gasps)
403
00:18:59,469 --> 00:19:02,586
Oh, I know-- we'll go to
a Native American sweat lodge,
404
00:19:02,588 --> 00:19:04,271
we'll take peyote,
roll around in the mud,
405
00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:06,390
and paint fertility symbols
on Bernadette's naked body.
406
00:19:06,392 --> 00:19:07,942
So that's happening.
407
00:19:07,944 --> 00:19:10,061
Yeah, sure, sure.
408
00:19:10,063 --> 00:19:12,646
Vegas is fun, too.
409
00:19:12,648 --> 00:19:13,698
I feel like crying.
410
00:19:13,700 --> 00:19:15,366
Of course, I could
just be hormonal.
411
00:19:15,368 --> 00:19:18,285
Oh, wait. Maybe our menses are
finally syncing up. Bernadette?
412
00:19:18,287 --> 00:19:19,954
No? Penny?
413
00:19:19,956 --> 00:19:21,572
- Sorry.
- Really?
414
00:19:21,574 --> 00:19:22,540
Okay, yeah.
415
00:19:22,542 --> 00:19:23,791
Yay!
416
00:19:33,154 --> 00:19:34,955
Maid of honor
Amy Farrah Fowler's
417
00:19:34,957 --> 00:19:37,541
amazing behind-the-scenes
wedding video,
418
00:19:37,543 --> 00:19:39,226
take one.
419
00:19:40,461 --> 00:19:42,329
We're just trying on dresses--
420
00:19:42,331 --> 00:19:44,531
do we really need
to record this?
421
00:19:44,533 --> 00:19:47,334
I'm sorry, are you
the maid of honor?
422
00:19:48,452 --> 00:19:50,470
I am the bride.
423
00:19:50,472 --> 00:19:53,173
So no. And action.
424
00:19:54,275 --> 00:19:55,942
What do you think?
425
00:19:55,944 --> 00:19:57,611
I love it!
426
00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:59,379
AMY:
What are you, a nun?
427
00:19:59,381 --> 00:20:03,250
Come on, bestie,
let's see some skin.
428
00:20:03,252 --> 00:20:05,652
BERNADETTE:
Amy! Looking sexy!
429
00:20:05,654 --> 00:20:07,938
You think they don't
have mirrors in there?
430
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:10,306
I know how I look.
431
00:20:15,112 --> 00:20:16,696
Oh...!
432
00:20:16,698 --> 00:20:19,416
Bernadette, you
look beautiful!
433
00:20:19,418 --> 00:20:21,982
AMY: You do.
- Thank you.
434
00:20:21,983 --> 00:20:24,124
Not Penny beautiful,
but beautiful.
435
00:20:26,841 --> 00:20:28,808
AMY: Come on, bestie,
you're up.
436
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:30,460
PENNY:
Give me a minute.
437
00:20:30,462 --> 00:20:33,296
What is taking
you so long?
438
00:20:33,298 --> 00:20:35,331
Oh, Amy!
Get the hell out of here!
439
00:20:35,333 --> 00:20:37,634
Sorry, sorry.
(groans): Oh, God.
440
00:20:37,636 --> 00:20:39,185
- Amy!
- Sorry.