1
00:00:01,742 --> 00:00:03,442
Hey. So you guys ready
to order?
2
00:00:03,443 --> 00:00:06,846
Since we come in
every Tuesday night at 6:00
3
00:00:06,847 --> 00:00:10,616
and order the same exact thing,
and it's now 6:08,
4
00:00:10,617 --> 00:00:13,019
I believe your question
not only answers itself
5
00:00:13,020 --> 00:00:16,122
but also stands alongside
such other nonsensical queries
6
00:00:16,123 --> 00:00:21,160
as "Who let the dogs out?"
and, uh, "How are they hanging""
7
00:00:21,161 --> 00:00:23,462
Okay.
8
00:00:23,463 --> 00:00:26,165
So, the usual, with extra spit
on Sheldon's hamburger.
9
00:00:26,166 --> 00:00:28,868
Penny, a moment?
10
00:00:28,869 --> 00:00:30,403
Do you have plans
this weekend?
11
00:00:30,404 --> 00:00:31,604
Oh, gee, Amy, I'm sorry,
12
00:00:31,605 --> 00:00:32,905
I'm actually pretty busy
this weekend.
13
00:00:32,906 --> 00:00:35,675
Probably serving food
that was ordered today.
14
00:00:36,710 --> 00:00:39,011
That's too bad. I was hoping
you could be my plus-one
15
00:00:39,012 --> 00:00:41,180
at the Institute
of Interdisciplinary Studies'
16
00:00:41,181 --> 00:00:43,215
symposium on the impact
of current scientific research
17
00:00:43,216 --> 00:00:44,550
on societal interactions.
18
00:00:44,551 --> 00:00:47,553
The what?
19
00:00:49,056 --> 00:00:50,656
It's an annual
science conference.
20
00:00:50,657 --> 00:00:52,024
We've all been invited to speak.
21
00:00:52,025 --> 00:00:55,261
Oh! Oh, okay, well, you know,
like I said, I have plans, so...
22
00:00:55,262 --> 00:00:57,063
Shame. Since you're
my best friend,
23
00:00:57,064 --> 00:00:59,131
I thought it would be
a good bonding opportunity.
24
00:00:59,132 --> 00:01:01,901
I'm your best friend?
25
00:01:01,902 --> 00:01:03,636
Don't you read my blog?
26
00:01:03,637 --> 00:01:05,404
Oh, don't feel bad.
27
00:01:05,405 --> 00:01:08,007
I never read Leonard's, and
I used to sleep with him.
28
00:01:11,278 --> 00:01:13,179
Do you know anybody else
who would appreciate
29
00:01:13,180 --> 00:01:14,613
an all-expense-paid spa weekend
30
00:01:14,614 --> 00:01:16,082
at a four-star resort
in Big Sur?
31
00:01:16,083 --> 00:01:18,985
No, I really-- I'm sorry,
free what? Sorry, what, what?
32
00:01:18,986 --> 00:01:21,053
I think her weekend
just opened up.
33
00:01:21,054 --> 00:01:24,256
Wait, wait, just to be clear,
when you guys say "spa,"
34
00:01:24,257 --> 00:01:27,493
does that mean the same thing
as when regular people say it?
35
00:01:27,494 --> 00:01:28,761
Pretty much.
36
00:01:28,762 --> 00:01:31,497
Except we keep
our shirts on in the sauna.
37
00:01:31,498 --> 00:01:33,933
You know, it is going
to be difficult,
38
00:01:33,934 --> 00:01:37,069
but I'm going to cancel my plans
so I can do this for my bestie.
39
00:01:37,070 --> 00:01:38,904
Please don't touch my breasts.
40
00:01:39,906 --> 00:01:41,474
I... I wasn't going to.
41
00:01:41,475 --> 00:01:44,176
All right. I just want
to establish boundaries.
42
00:01:44,177 --> 00:01:46,879
Boy, this is great. I haven't
had a vacation in ages.
43
00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:50,249
In order to take a vacation,
one first has to work.
44
00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:52,184
You know, for a smart guy,
45
00:01:52,185 --> 00:01:54,387
you really seem to have a
hard time grasping the concept
46
00:01:54,388 --> 00:01:57,723
"don't piss off the people
who handle the things you eat."
47
00:01:57,724 --> 00:02:00,860
That does seem to be
a valid principle.
48
00:02:00,861 --> 00:02:03,095
I trust Penny will adhere to
49
00:02:03,096 --> 00:02:04,897
the "Official California
Restaurant Workers'
50
00:02:04,898 --> 00:02:07,233
Solemn Oath of Ethics
and Cleanliness."
51
00:02:07,234 --> 00:02:09,635
I don't believe
there's any such thing.
52
00:02:10,570 --> 00:02:13,406
You lied to me?
53
00:02:13,407 --> 00:02:17,043
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
54
00:02:17,044 --> 00:02:20,379
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
55
00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:22,014
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
56
00:02:22,015 --> 00:02:24,550
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
57
00:02:24,551 --> 00:02:27,219
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
58
00:02:27,220 --> 00:02:29,889
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
59
00:02:29,890 --> 00:02:31,791
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
60
00:02:31,792 --> 00:02:32,554
♪ Bang! ♪
61
00:02:32,556 --> 00:02:35,954
♪ The Big Bang Theory 4x13 ♪
The Love Car Displacement
Original Air Date on January 20, 2011
62
00:02:36,004 --> 00:02:39,554
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
63
00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:40,543
Good morning.
64
00:02:40,549 --> 00:02:42,383
If I could have everyone's
attention, please?
65
00:02:42,384 --> 00:02:45,787
I know we're all eager
to get on the road to Big Sur,
66
00:02:45,788 --> 00:02:48,356
so if we focus, I'm sure we can
get through this orientation
67
00:02:48,357 --> 00:02:49,857
in under a half an hour.
68
00:02:50,826 --> 00:02:53,294
Then it's just Q&A,
quiz, safety drills,
69
00:02:53,295 --> 00:02:56,464
pose for commemorative
group photo and we're off.
70
00:02:56,465 --> 00:02:59,267
Don't worry. Just sit
next to me during the quiz,
71
00:02:59,268 --> 00:03:01,569
and you can copy my answers.
72
00:03:01,570 --> 00:03:02,770
Raj?
73
00:03:02,771 --> 00:03:03,971
What are you doing?
74
00:03:04,740 --> 00:03:06,474
I don't think so.
75
00:03:07,343 --> 00:03:09,243
You've had your allotted
six ounces.
76
00:03:09,244 --> 00:03:12,380
The first bathroom break
isn't until the Denny's
77
00:03:12,381 --> 00:03:15,216
located near Bakersfield,
78
00:03:15,217 --> 00:03:18,186
which is approximately
two and half hours away.
79
00:03:18,187 --> 00:03:22,123
Remember, people, we're only as
strong as our weakest bladder.
80
00:03:23,525 --> 00:03:27,528
Nobody cares about
your Kegel exercises.
81
00:03:27,529 --> 00:03:31,632
All right. We have
seven people, and two cars.
82
00:03:31,633 --> 00:03:34,936
In the lead car,
driven by Leonard,
83
00:03:34,937 --> 00:03:38,172
will be... myself,
84
00:03:38,173 --> 00:03:40,408
Amy Farrah Fowler,
85
00:03:40,409 --> 00:03:42,343
and Penny.
86
00:03:42,344 --> 00:03:44,045
Yes!
87
00:03:44,046 --> 00:03:48,416
He had you in the other car,
but I got you upgraded.
88
00:03:49,251 --> 00:03:51,085
Yay!
89
00:03:51,086 --> 00:03:52,954
She made the case
that if we break down
90
00:03:52,955 --> 00:03:55,790
in the middle of nowhere,
your Nebraska backwoods skills
91
00:03:55,791 --> 00:03:57,859
and brawny hands
will give us the best chance
92
00:03:57,860 --> 00:03:59,861
to survive in the wild.
93
00:03:59,862 --> 00:04:02,230
Brawny?
94
00:04:02,231 --> 00:04:04,766
They're bigger
than mine.
95
00:04:05,934 --> 00:04:08,770
Red Leader to Red Five,
come in.
96
00:04:10,906 --> 00:04:13,808
Red Leader to Red Five,
come in.
97
00:04:13,809 --> 00:04:16,010
Howard, you promised.
98
00:04:17,980 --> 00:04:19,914
WOLOWITZ
Fine. Red Five to Red Leader.
99
00:04:19,915 --> 00:04:21,482
What do you want now?
100
00:04:21,483 --> 00:04:27,088
It's 11:15. I'm requesting your
quarter-hourly location update.
101
00:04:27,089 --> 00:04:28,756
Still right behind you.
102
00:04:28,757 --> 00:04:31,793
Copy that, Red Five.
103
00:04:31,794 --> 00:04:33,394
Radio contact is sufficient.
104
00:04:33,395 --> 00:04:35,329
No need to extend
your middle finger.
105
00:04:36,932 --> 00:04:39,634
So, Amy, I've
been wondering,
106
00:04:39,635 --> 00:04:42,370
are you and Sheldon going
to be sharing a room?
107
00:04:42,371 --> 00:04:44,272
No, we discussed it.
108
00:04:44,273 --> 00:04:46,374
We decided we didn't want
to jeopardize our relationship
109
00:04:46,375 --> 00:04:48,209
by getting to know
each other too well.
110
00:04:49,311 --> 00:04:51,879
Indeed. Nothing sours
a friendship more
111
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:55,683
than over-familiarity
with someone's toilet routine.
112
00:04:55,684 --> 00:04:57,385
I can vouch for that.
113
00:04:57,386 --> 00:04:59,720
Hey.
Not you, him.
114
00:04:59,721 --> 00:05:01,155
Oh. Thanks.
115
00:05:01,156 --> 00:05:04,725
Although yours
was an eye-opener.
116
00:05:05,727 --> 00:05:07,595
Don't worry, Penny.
117
00:05:07,596 --> 00:05:09,897
You're my plus-one.
You'll bunk with me.
118
00:05:09,898 --> 00:05:12,233
And FYI, travel
makes me constipated,
119
00:05:12,234 --> 00:05:14,902
so I'm the ideal
hotel roommate.
120
00:05:14,903 --> 00:05:17,271
Terrif.
121
00:05:17,272 --> 00:05:19,707
Are we there yet?
122
00:05:20,876 --> 00:05:24,045
I hope we get there in time
to see the keynote address.
123
00:05:24,046 --> 00:05:26,447
Really? You want to see
the keynote?
124
00:05:26,448 --> 00:05:28,583
Yeah, it sounds fun.
125
00:05:28,584 --> 00:05:29,951
"Super bacteria:
126
00:05:29,952 --> 00:05:33,354
global apocalypse or
exciting research opportunity?"
127
00:05:33,355 --> 00:05:36,891
Actually, I was thinking we
could go straight to the room
128
00:05:36,892 --> 00:05:39,060
and... take a nap.
129
00:05:39,061 --> 00:05:40,428
Really?
130
00:05:40,429 --> 00:05:41,996
And miss the keynote?
131
00:05:41,997 --> 00:05:44,499
We can watch it later on C-SPAN.
132
00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:47,268
Besides, I was really
looking forward to you and me...
133
00:05:47,269 --> 00:05:48,936
napping together in the hotel.
134
00:05:48,937 --> 00:05:50,872
Honey, if you're
that tired,
135
00:05:50,873 --> 00:05:53,374
why don't you just take
a nap here in the car?
136
00:05:53,375 --> 00:05:55,009
No, see, it's not...
137
00:05:55,010 --> 00:05:56,911
Hang on.
It's Leonard.
138
00:05:56,912 --> 00:05:58,946
Hi, Leonard.
139
00:05:58,947 --> 00:06:01,749
LEONARD
Yeah, hi. Listen, I just
got a text from Raj.
140
00:06:01,750 --> 00:06:02,984
He wanted me to tell you
141
00:06:02,985 --> 00:06:05,253
that when Howard says "nap,"
he means "sex."
142
00:06:07,890 --> 00:06:09,957
Thank you, Raj.
143
00:06:11,393 --> 00:06:15,263
Are you... an element
in the actinoid series?
144
00:06:15,264 --> 00:06:16,531
No.
145
00:06:16,532 --> 00:06:17,732
Amy?
146
00:06:17,733 --> 00:06:20,801
Are you usually radioactive
when found in nature?
147
00:06:20,802 --> 00:06:21,936
No.
148
00:06:21,937 --> 00:06:23,538
Are you in the
lanthanoid series?
149
00:06:23,539 --> 00:06:25,473
Amy, it's Penny's turn.
150
00:06:26,842 --> 00:06:28,409
Penny?
151
00:06:28,410 --> 00:06:30,645
Uh, I don't know...
152
00:06:30,646 --> 00:06:32,013
Are you food?
153
00:06:34,650 --> 00:06:36,884
That's not apropos.
154
00:06:36,885 --> 00:06:39,954
We've already established
I'm found in the periodic table.
155
00:06:39,955 --> 00:06:41,656
Well, it's a table, right?
156
00:06:41,657 --> 00:06:44,191
I mean, why can't there
be food on it?
157
00:06:44,192 --> 00:06:47,361
I knew she wasn't
lead car materiel.
158
00:06:47,362 --> 00:06:50,031
Who elected you
Road Trip God?
159
00:06:50,032 --> 00:06:52,033
Leonard.
160
00:06:52,034 --> 00:06:54,669
It was a late-night vote.
161
00:06:55,671 --> 00:06:57,104
We were all exhausted,
162
00:06:57,105 --> 00:06:59,106
and he was threatening
to filibuster.
163
00:06:59,107 --> 00:07:01,275
It's not technically
"Road Trip God""
164
00:07:01,276 --> 00:07:02,710
it's Travel Supervisor.
165
00:07:02,711 --> 00:07:06,781
Although Road Trip God
does have a certain ring to it.
166
00:07:06,782 --> 00:07:08,449
I don't understand
why you people
167
00:07:08,450 --> 00:07:09,984
just let him bully
you like this.
168
00:07:09,985 --> 00:07:11,352
Someone should
stand up to him.
169
00:07:11,353 --> 00:07:13,321
What's he going to do?
170
00:07:15,157 --> 00:07:18,459
I can't believe you let him
kick me out of the car.
171
00:07:18,460 --> 00:07:21,829
What could we do?
He's the Travel Supervisor.
172
00:07:22,931 --> 00:07:25,066
Don't worry, Penny.
This is a better car anyway.
173
00:07:25,067 --> 00:07:27,034
Yeah. It's the Love Car.
174
00:07:27,903 --> 00:07:29,704
Should I ask?
175
00:07:30,973 --> 00:07:34,041
♪ They say we're young
and we don't know ♪
176
00:07:34,042 --> 00:07:39,080
♪ We won't find out
until we grow ♪
177
00:07:39,081 --> 00:07:42,116
♪ Well, I don't know
if all that's true ♪
178
00:07:42,117 --> 00:07:46,988
♪ 'Cause you got me,
and, baby, I got you ♪
179
00:07:46,989 --> 00:07:49,757
♪ Babe ♪
♪ Mm da-da,
da-da, da-da ♪
180
00:07:49,758 --> 00:07:51,892
♪ I got you, babe ♪
181
00:07:51,893 --> 00:07:53,461
Red Leader, I'm really sorry.
182
00:07:53,462 --> 00:07:55,896
♪ I got you, babe. ♪
183
00:07:57,032 --> 00:08:02,269
WOLOWITZ AND BERNADETTE:
♪ I got you, babe... ♪
184
00:08:06,441 --> 00:08:09,043
I missed you.
185
00:08:09,044 --> 00:08:12,880
You know what?
I missed you, too.
186
00:08:12,881 --> 00:08:14,849
Bernadette?
187
00:08:15,350 --> 00:08:17,051
Oh, my God, Glenn!
188
00:08:17,052 --> 00:08:18,653
Great to see you!
189
00:08:18,654 --> 00:08:20,621
Are you here
for the conference?
190
00:08:20,622 --> 00:08:22,556
Yeah, I'm doing
a global warming panel.
191
00:08:22,557 --> 00:08:23,624
Oh, good for you.
192
00:08:23,625 --> 00:08:26,060
Uh, Glenn,
this is my boyfriend Howard.
193
00:08:26,061 --> 00:08:28,562
Nice to meet you.
Hi.
194
00:08:28,563 --> 00:08:30,164
Ow. Hi.
195
00:08:30,165 --> 00:08:31,966
You're a lucky man.
196
00:08:31,967 --> 00:08:33,701
Bernie's
a great gal.
197
00:08:33,702 --> 00:08:37,071
Yes. "Bernie" sure is.
198
00:08:37,072 --> 00:08:39,240
Well, I got to run.
The panel's tomorrow morning.
199
00:08:39,241 --> 00:08:41,709
It's called, "Remembering Snow:
A Look Back."
200
00:08:41,710 --> 00:08:44,412
I'll try to catch it.
201
00:08:44,413 --> 00:08:45,813
Oh, great.
202
00:08:45,814 --> 00:08:47,381
Bye.
Bye.
203
00:08:50,252 --> 00:08:52,553
Hey... Bernie?
204
00:08:52,554 --> 00:08:53,721
Yeah?
205
00:08:53,722 --> 00:08:57,124
Please tell me he's
your gay cousin.
206
00:08:57,125 --> 00:08:59,927
No.
207
00:08:59,928 --> 00:09:01,929
He was one of my professors
in college.
208
00:09:01,930 --> 00:09:04,732
Oh! That's a relief.
209
00:09:04,733 --> 00:09:06,300
Then we went out
for a year.
210
00:09:07,569 --> 00:09:10,471
Come on, let's check in,
so we can take that nap.
211
00:09:13,875 --> 00:09:16,143
No, it's not necessarily
proportional...
212
00:09:16,144 --> 00:09:17,411
Shut up!
213
00:09:22,539 --> 00:09:24,420
That green bag
is Dr. Cooper's.
214
00:09:24,478 --> 00:09:26,345
Here's an extra five.
Make him wait.
215
00:09:30,250 --> 00:09:31,984
Oh.
216
00:09:31,985 --> 00:09:34,620
Right to the nap, huh? Okay?
217
00:09:35,422 --> 00:09:37,757
Uh, so, this Glenn guy.
218
00:09:37,758 --> 00:09:40,526
You say you went out with
him for, like, a year.
219
00:09:40,527 --> 00:09:42,562
Do we really need to talk
about my old boyfriend now?
220
00:09:42,563 --> 00:09:44,897
No. I guess not.
221
00:09:46,667 --> 00:09:49,402
What is he, like,
six-four, six-five?
222
00:09:49,403 --> 00:09:51,170
Six-seven.
223
00:09:51,171 --> 00:09:55,374
Probably has a hard time
finding a suit that fits.
224
00:09:56,210 --> 00:09:57,877
Is something
bothering you?
225
00:09:57,878 --> 00:10:00,213
No. It's just...
What?
226
00:10:00,214 --> 00:10:01,514
I'm just thinking.
227
00:10:01,515 --> 00:10:03,049
If you had sex with that guy,
228
00:10:03,050 --> 00:10:04,984
I mean, there's nothing
I can do here
229
00:10:04,985 --> 00:10:10,122
that will make
any kind of... impact.
230
00:10:10,123 --> 00:10:11,791
Howard, it's not a contest.
231
00:10:11,792 --> 00:10:13,659
I love you.
I want to be with you.
232
00:10:13,660 --> 00:10:16,295
Yeah, great, love you, too,
but...
233
00:10:16,296 --> 00:10:19,699
If it were a contest,
234
00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:22,201
I wouldn't have a chance, right?
235
00:10:22,202 --> 00:10:23,436
You can't think
that way.
236
00:10:23,437 --> 00:10:24,637
Yep.
237
00:10:24,638 --> 00:10:26,839
Loser.
238
00:10:28,842 --> 00:10:30,509
Howard, stop it.
239
00:10:30,510 --> 00:10:32,245
Sorry. I just
never figured that
240
00:10:32,246 --> 00:10:34,480
a guy like me going out
with a girl like you
241
00:10:34,481 --> 00:10:37,116
would ever have to compete
with a guy like that.
242
00:10:38,452 --> 00:10:41,454
Wait a minute, "a girl like me"?
What's that mean?
243
00:10:46,226 --> 00:10:47,693
I'm... I...
244
00:10:47,694 --> 00:10:49,562
Are you saying you
don't think I'm hot enough
245
00:10:49,563 --> 00:10:51,163
to go out with a guy like Glenn?
246
00:10:51,164 --> 00:10:54,133
No! No, I'm saying
exactly the opposite.
247
00:10:54,134 --> 00:10:57,036
I'm too hot to go out
with a guy like Glenn?
248
00:10:58,605 --> 00:11:00,973
Yeah, let's go with that.
249
00:11:08,382 --> 00:11:10,616
Still nothing.
250
00:11:11,718 --> 00:11:14,020
Remind me to try again
in an hour.
251
00:11:14,021 --> 00:11:16,222
Will do.
252
00:11:16,223 --> 00:11:19,992
So...
253
00:11:19,993 --> 00:11:21,627
girl talk?
254
00:11:21,628 --> 00:11:23,562
Um, sure.
255
00:11:23,563 --> 00:11:25,264
What do you got in mind?
256
00:11:25,265 --> 00:11:28,801
Do you subscribe to the Freudian
theory of penis envy?
257
00:11:30,604 --> 00:11:33,139
Um, I never really
thought about it.
258
00:11:33,140 --> 00:11:34,407
Why?
259
00:11:34,408 --> 00:11:37,310
Sometimes I think it might be
nice to have one.
260
00:11:37,311 --> 00:11:38,577
Really?
261
00:11:38,578 --> 00:11:41,147
Not for sex, for convenience.
262
00:11:41,148 --> 00:11:43,649
You can't deny that,
by comparison,
263
00:11:43,650 --> 00:11:46,285
our internal plumbing
is extremely high maintenance.
264
00:11:46,286 --> 00:11:50,389
Again, I've never given
it much thought.
265
00:11:50,390 --> 00:11:52,158
We have time now.
266
00:11:52,159 --> 00:11:53,392
Think about it.
267
00:11:55,195 --> 00:11:57,029
Oh, good.
268
00:12:00,901 --> 00:12:02,068
Hey.
269
00:12:02,069 --> 00:12:03,202
Can I stay here tonight?
270
00:12:03,203 --> 00:12:04,170
Yeah. Why, what happened?
271
00:12:04,171 --> 00:12:06,839
Howard's a complete
and total ass.
272
00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:08,674
Oh, yeah, that.
Come on in.
273
00:12:10,344 --> 00:12:12,244
Thanks. I'll sleep
on the floor.
274
00:12:12,245 --> 00:12:13,612
Not necessary.
275
00:12:13,613 --> 00:12:15,981
Penny and I are perfectly
comfortable sharing a bed.
276
00:12:15,982 --> 00:12:18,084
We are?
277
00:12:18,085 --> 00:12:20,619
Of course, we're best friends.
278
00:12:20,620 --> 00:12:23,789
Oh, right, right, the blog.
279
00:12:23,790 --> 00:12:24,890
Word of warning, though.
280
00:12:24,891 --> 00:12:26,258
I'm prone to night terrors,
281
00:12:26,259 --> 00:12:28,561
so when I wake up kicking
and screaming, don't panic.
282
00:12:28,562 --> 00:12:31,564
Just pin me down and stroke
my hair, and I'll be fine.
283
00:12:37,838 --> 00:12:39,705
Hey, can I stay here tonight?
Shh-shh-shh.
284
00:12:39,706 --> 00:12:41,640
Sheldon's asleep.
285
00:12:41,641 --> 00:12:42,808
What's going on?
286
00:12:42,809 --> 00:12:44,744
Well, Howard's a complete
and total ass,
287
00:12:44,745 --> 00:12:46,178
Bernadette's in my bed,
288
00:12:46,179 --> 00:12:49,682
and no matter how much you
stroke Amy's hair, she bites.
289
00:12:49,683 --> 00:12:51,083
What?
Never mind.
290
00:12:51,084 --> 00:12:52,585
Can I stay here or not?
291
00:12:52,586 --> 00:12:54,053
Uh, sure.
All right.
292
00:12:59,726 --> 00:13:01,727
So, how do you want
to do this?
293
00:13:01,728 --> 00:13:04,296
Well, I'm not getting
in bed with him.
294
00:13:05,465 --> 00:13:07,199
Yeah, it is
a little like
295
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:08,501
getting into
Dracula's coffin.
296
00:13:08,502 --> 00:13:12,371
We're just gonna have
to make the best of this.
297
00:13:13,340 --> 00:13:15,541
Okay, when you say
"make the best of it..."
298
00:13:15,542 --> 00:13:17,176
Sleep.
Right.
299
00:13:18,178 --> 00:13:21,647
So we'll just call
the middle here
300
00:13:21,648 --> 00:13:22,915
the Neutral Zone.
301
00:13:22,916 --> 00:13:24,583
The what?
302
00:13:24,584 --> 00:13:27,052
Star Trek.
303
00:13:27,053 --> 00:13:28,521
You know, the
Neutral Zone
304
00:13:28,522 --> 00:13:30,823
between the Federation
and the Romulan Empire.
305
00:13:30,824 --> 00:13:32,458
Oh, okay.
306
00:13:32,459 --> 00:13:35,394
Just like old times.
307
00:13:40,033 --> 00:13:41,834
Of course,
308
00:13:41,835 --> 00:13:45,004
sometimes the Federation
and the Romulans
309
00:13:45,005 --> 00:13:46,872
would enter
the Neutral Zone
310
00:13:46,873 --> 00:13:49,008
to negotiate a
temporary truce.
311
00:13:49,009 --> 00:13:52,945
Sweetie, let me put this
in a way you'll understand:
312
00:13:52,946 --> 00:13:55,848
from the waist down,
my shields are up.
313
00:13:56,683 --> 00:13:58,651
Got it, got it.
314
00:14:01,788 --> 00:14:03,823
We can do all
kinds of stuff
315
00:14:03,824 --> 00:14:06,392
from the waist up,
you know?
316
00:14:06,393 --> 00:14:08,227
Go to sleep.
Good night.
317
00:14:14,234 --> 00:14:17,536
Please tell me
you're not having coitus.
318
00:14:19,873 --> 00:14:22,408
We are not having coitus.
319
00:14:22,409 --> 00:14:24,043
Can you guarantee
that it won't happen
320
00:14:24,044 --> 00:14:25,244
at any time during the night?
321
00:14:25,245 --> 00:14:27,580
Yes.
No.
322
00:14:38,492 --> 00:14:43,262
ANNOUNCER
Next on Turner Classic Movies,
Bridget Jones's Diary.
323
00:14:43,263 --> 00:14:47,099
Oh, my God, I'm crying already.
324
00:14:48,401 --> 00:14:51,036
Raj? Raj?
325
00:14:51,037 --> 00:14:52,538
Raj?
326
00:14:56,810 --> 00:14:58,777
I need to sleep
here tonight.
327
00:14:58,778 --> 00:15:00,145
Why?
328
00:15:00,146 --> 00:15:02,114
Howard is a complete
and total ass,
329
00:15:02,115 --> 00:15:04,416
Bernadette is in Penny's
bed, Amy bites,
330
00:15:04,417 --> 00:15:07,853
and Penny may or may not
have coitus with Leonard.
331
00:15:07,854 --> 00:15:10,289
Okay. Come on in.
332
00:15:14,628 --> 00:15:16,095
Leonard, are you asleep?
333
00:15:16,096 --> 00:15:17,363
No.
334
00:15:17,364 --> 00:15:20,099
I really appreciate you letting
me stay here tonight.
335
00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:21,400
Sure, no problem.
336
00:15:21,401 --> 00:15:23,202
I know it's kinda weird.
337
00:15:23,203 --> 00:15:25,004
True dat.
338
00:15:25,005 --> 00:15:27,573
"True dat"?
339
00:15:27,574 --> 00:15:31,043
I've gotten a lot more street
since we broke up.
340
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,848
Right.
341
00:15:35,849 --> 00:15:37,750
Still mad at me about that?
342
00:15:37,751 --> 00:15:39,985
No. No, I understand.
343
00:15:39,986 --> 00:15:43,422
I got too intense,
you had to back off.
344
00:15:43,423 --> 00:15:46,025
Thank you.
345
00:15:46,026 --> 00:15:49,061
I've gotten a lot better
at that, you know.
346
00:15:50,363 --> 00:15:52,631
I've dated four different women
since we broke up
347
00:15:52,632 --> 00:15:55,134
and I didn't tell any of them
that I loved them
348
00:15:55,135 --> 00:15:56,902
and wanted
to have their babies.
349
00:15:56,903 --> 00:15:59,738
Good for you.
350
00:16:01,641 --> 00:16:02,641
Okay, good night.
351
00:16:02,642 --> 00:16:04,977
Good night.
352
00:16:06,580 --> 00:16:11,650
You know, maybe it wouldn't be
the worst idea in the world
353
00:16:11,651 --> 00:16:14,987
to violate the Neutral Zone
for just one night.
354
00:16:14,988 --> 00:16:16,522
Oh!
355
00:16:18,358 --> 00:16:20,125
Hey, Leonard,
Sheldon kicked me
356
00:16:20,126 --> 00:16:22,361
out of the room,
gave me your key.
357
00:16:23,296 --> 00:16:24,763
Penny's here.
358
00:16:28,602 --> 00:16:33,472
No, we don't want to watch
Bridget Jones's Diary!
359
00:16:38,612 --> 00:16:42,915
Good morning and welcome
to Science and Society.
360
00:16:42,916 --> 00:16:49,655
I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper, BS, MS,
MA, PhD, and ScD.
361
00:16:49,656 --> 00:16:52,057
OMG, right?
362
00:16:55,028 --> 00:16:58,697
Perhaps that joke was a little
too hippie-dippy for this crowd.
363
00:16:58,698 --> 00:17:00,966
All right then, we'll begin
with opening remarks.
364
00:17:00,967 --> 00:17:04,103
Miss Rostenkowski,
would you like to start us off
365
00:17:04,104 --> 00:17:05,571
by discussing
your assessment
366
00:17:05,572 --> 00:17:08,707
of science's responsibility
to society?
367
00:17:08,708 --> 00:17:09,942
Sure.
368
00:17:09,943 --> 00:17:11,977
I think all branches
of science
369
00:17:11,978 --> 00:17:14,279
have to move cautiously
these days.
370
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:16,382
It's not just giant
nuclear weapons
371
00:17:16,383 --> 00:17:17,916
that can destroy
the world.
372
00:17:17,917 --> 00:17:19,985
As a microbiologist,
I can tell you
373
00:17:19,986 --> 00:17:24,690
even the tiniest organisms
can still tear you a new one.
374
00:17:27,494 --> 00:17:28,861
Interesting.
375
00:17:28,862 --> 00:17:31,964
I think what you might need
to know about my colleague
376
00:17:31,965 --> 00:17:36,001
is that though she claims
her field of interest is tiny organisms,
377
00:17:36,002 --> 00:17:39,772
she certainly has spent
her fair share of time
378
00:17:39,773 --> 00:17:44,777
around what we can assume was
pretty massive weaponry.
379
00:17:46,112 --> 00:17:49,481
I think Mr. Wolowitz
needs to keep in mind
380
00:17:49,482 --> 00:17:51,417
that the past
is the past.
381
00:17:51,418 --> 00:17:53,952
But he should know
that I am the kind of girl
382
00:17:53,953 --> 00:17:57,356
who could get all
the giant missiles she wants.
383
00:18:00,193 --> 00:18:02,795
Are we talking about women
wanting penises?
384
00:18:02,796 --> 00:18:04,763
Because I'd like to weigh in.
385
00:18:11,838 --> 00:18:14,740
Dr. Koothrappali, would you care
to join the conversation?
386
00:18:14,741 --> 00:18:17,710
Certainly.
I'd like to raise two points.
387
00:18:17,711 --> 00:18:21,814
Number one, I think they are
talking about penises.
388
00:18:23,550 --> 00:18:28,120
And number two, these mimosas
are kicking my little brown ass.
389
00:18:30,724 --> 00:18:33,192
I'd like to kick
your little brown ass.
390
00:18:33,193 --> 00:18:34,626
What did I do?
391
00:18:34,627 --> 00:18:36,061
Oh, I don't know.
392
00:18:36,062 --> 00:18:37,663
Maybe when you walk
into a hotel room
393
00:18:37,664 --> 00:18:40,532
and you see a guy getting back
together with his girlfriend,
394
00:18:40,533 --> 00:18:42,868
you should consider doing
something other
395
00:18:42,869 --> 00:18:45,337
than crawling into
the adjoining bed.
396
00:18:45,338 --> 00:18:48,373
I did. You said no
Bridget Jones.
397
00:18:48,374 --> 00:18:51,110
We weren't getting
back together!
398
00:18:51,111 --> 00:18:53,846
It was a one-time thing!
399
00:18:53,847 --> 00:18:55,114
Excuse me.
400
00:18:55,115 --> 00:18:57,082
We're not taking comments
or questions
401
00:18:57,083 --> 00:18:58,751
from the audience just yet.
402
00:18:58,752 --> 00:19:01,253
Oh, shut up, Sheldon!
403
00:19:01,254 --> 00:19:03,455
Hi, bestie.
404
00:19:03,456 --> 00:19:04,723
All right,
405
00:19:04,724 --> 00:19:07,459
why don't we see if we can bring
this back to topic.
406
00:19:07,460 --> 00:19:09,194
Let me ask you
something, Bernie.
407
00:19:09,195 --> 00:19:10,596
I guess not.
408
00:19:10,597 --> 00:19:13,465
How would you feel if
you met my ex-girlfriend
409
00:19:13,466 --> 00:19:16,201
and she was like
Angelina Jolie?
410
00:19:16,202 --> 00:19:19,571
Oh, come on, Howard,
be realistic.
411
00:19:20,907 --> 00:19:26,445
What, I'm not hot enough
for Angelina Jolie?
412
00:19:26,446 --> 00:19:28,647
I'd like to weigh in here.
413
00:19:28,648 --> 00:19:30,182
No.
414
00:19:32,952 --> 00:19:34,453
All right,
why don't we open it up
415
00:19:34,454 --> 00:19:35,654
to Q&A from the audience?
416
00:19:35,655 --> 00:19:37,055
Yeah, I have a question.
417
00:19:37,056 --> 00:19:38,557
Is there anybody who can get me
the hell out of here
418
00:19:38,558 --> 00:19:41,727
and back to Los Angeles
tonight?
419
00:19:41,728 --> 00:19:44,530
I'm driving back to L.A. tonight.
420
00:19:46,566 --> 00:19:49,101
Penny, that's Glenn.
Glenn, that's Penny.
421
00:19:49,102 --> 00:19:50,969
No!
422
00:19:59,345 --> 00:20:01,946
SHELDON
Red Leader to Red Five.
423
00:20:01,947 --> 00:20:04,949
Red Leader
to Red Five.
424
00:20:04,950 --> 00:20:08,052
Anybody up for a little game?
425
00:20:08,820 --> 00:20:12,322
I spy with my little eye...
426
00:20:12,415 --> 00:20:15,484
a nonferrous metal.
427
00:20:19,523 --> 00:20:22,525
Must be out of range.
428
00:20:23,827 --> 00:20:25,828
Leonard, can I ask you
a question?
429
00:20:25,829 --> 00:20:27,229
Sure.
430
00:20:27,230 --> 00:20:29,532
Are you bothered by the fact
that your former girlfriend
431
00:20:29,533 --> 00:20:31,233
left the symposium
with what is probably
432
00:20:31,234 --> 00:20:35,271
the most beautiful man
I've ever seen in my life?
433
00:20:35,272 --> 00:20:37,339
No. Why do you ask?
434
00:20:37,340 --> 00:20:40,676
Because we're going
120 miles per hour.
435
00:20:42,279 --> 00:20:44,213
All right, if no one's going
to guess...
436
00:20:44,214 --> 00:20:48,317
I was spying the aluminum rims
on the police car
437
00:20:48,318 --> 00:20:49,985
we passed a few miles back.
438
00:20:49,986 --> 00:20:53,556
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==