1
00:00:10,569 --> 00:00:12,570
Clarify something for me.
2
00:00:12,571 --> 00:00:13,605
Isn't the point
3
00:00:13,606 --> 00:00:15,673
of a communal meal
4
00:00:15,674 --> 00:00:18,309
the exchange of ideas
and opinions?
5
00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:21,045
An opportunity to consider
important issues of the day?
6
00:00:21,046 --> 00:00:22,380
It is.
7
00:00:22,381 --> 00:00:24,248
You just kind of put
a damper on things
8
00:00:24,249 --> 00:00:25,883
when you said,
"The next person I see talking
9
00:00:25,884 --> 00:00:28,453
with food in their mouth
will be put to death."
10
00:00:28,454 --> 00:00:31,723
Well, we could argue about
who said what all night long,
11
00:00:31,724 --> 00:00:34,525
but to set things back
on course,
12
00:00:34,526 --> 00:00:36,861
I will propose
a new topic of conversation.
13
00:00:37,896 --> 00:00:38,896
Great.
14
00:00:38,897 --> 00:00:40,965
What is the best number?
15
00:00:40,966 --> 00:00:44,769
By the way, there's only
one correct answer.
16
00:00:44,770 --> 00:00:48,573
5,318,008?
17
00:00:48,574 --> 00:00:49,774
Wrong.
18
00:00:50,643 --> 00:00:53,911
The best number is 73.
19
00:00:56,081 --> 00:00:58,216
You're probably wondering why.
20
00:00:58,217 --> 00:00:59,717
No. Uh-uh.
We're good.
21
00:00:59,718 --> 00:01:02,136
73 is the 21st prime number.
22
00:01:02,137 --> 00:01:06,123
Its mirror, 37, is the 12th,
and its mirror, 21,
23
00:01:06,124 --> 00:01:07,825
is the product of multiplying--
24
00:01:07,826 --> 00:01:11,195
hang on to your hats--
seven and three.
25
00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:15,199
Eh? Eh? Did I lie?
26
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,234
We get it.
27
00:01:16,235 --> 00:01:19,103
73 is the Chuck Norris
of numbers.
28
00:01:19,104 --> 00:01:21,806
Chuck Norris wishes.
29
00:01:24,476 --> 00:01:27,211
"one-zero-zero-
one-zero-zero-one"
30
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:30,682
which backwards is "one-zero-
zero-one-zero-zero-one"--
31
00:01:30,683 --> 00:01:32,050
exactly the same.
32
00:01:32,051 --> 00:01:36,454
All Chuck Norris backwards
gets you is: "Sirron Kcuhc."
33
00:01:36,455 --> 00:01:38,489
Just for the record,
34
00:01:38,490 --> 00:01:42,043
when you enter 5,318,008
on a calculator,
35
00:01:42,044 --> 00:01:44,962
upside-down it spells "boobies""
36
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,334
Remember when you were wondering
37
00:01:49,335 --> 00:01:51,502
why the girls didn't
want to eat with us tonight?
38
00:01:51,503 --> 00:01:53,504
Yeah, I get it now.
39
00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:57,141
I love your little
heart locket, Bernadette.
40
00:01:57,142 --> 00:01:58,476
Oh, thanks.
41
00:01:58,477 --> 00:01:59,777
Howard gave it to me.
42
00:01:59,778 --> 00:02:01,112
It's the cutest thing.
43
00:02:01,113 --> 00:02:02,847
Every time I have
dinner with his mom,
44
00:02:02,848 --> 00:02:04,816
the next day I get jewelry.
45
00:02:06,018 --> 00:02:07,885
Did you know that the iconic
Valentine's heart shape
46
00:02:07,886 --> 00:02:10,288
is not actually based
on the shape of a human heart,
47
00:02:10,289 --> 00:02:11,923
but rather on the shape
of the buttocks
48
00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:13,658
of a female bending over?
49
00:02:15,661 --> 00:02:18,429
Oh, so I spent seventh grade
50
00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:20,998
dotting my I's
with little asses?
51
00:02:21,734 --> 00:02:23,167
Cool.
52
00:02:23,168 --> 00:02:26,237
Hey, Penny, how's it going?
53
00:02:26,238 --> 00:02:28,139
Hey, Zack,
what are you doing here?
54
00:02:28,140 --> 00:02:30,174
My dad's company prints
the menus for this place.
55
00:02:30,175 --> 00:02:31,776
I'm just dropping off
some new ones laminated.
56
00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:34,512
Makes 'em easier to clean
if people throw up on 'em.
57
00:02:35,681 --> 00:02:37,014
Guess how I got the idea?
58
00:02:37,015 --> 00:02:38,683
Yeah, I got it, I got it.
59
00:02:38,684 --> 00:02:42,153
Uh, Zack, these are
my friends Bernadette and Amy.
60
00:02:42,154 --> 00:02:43,554
- Hi.
- Hey.
61
00:02:43,555 --> 00:02:44,939
Hoo.
62
00:02:46,892 --> 00:02:49,560
Okay, well, it was
good to see you.
63
00:02:49,561 --> 00:02:51,496
Yeah, you, too.
64
00:02:51,497 --> 00:02:53,331
He's really cute.
How do you know him?
65
00:02:53,332 --> 00:02:54,949
Oh, we went out
a couple of times.
66
00:02:54,950 --> 00:02:57,034
I'm often flummoxed
by current slang.
67
00:02:57,035 --> 00:02:59,771
Does "went out" mean
"had intercourse"?
68
00:02:59,772 --> 00:03:01,956
Yes.
No, no.
69
00:03:01,957 --> 00:03:04,475
But in this case, yes.
70
00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:05,977
Interesting.
71
00:03:05,978 --> 00:03:07,278
And was it not satisfactory?
72
00:03:07,279 --> 00:03:08,813
No, it was great.
73
00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:11,682
He just didn't really challenge
me on an intellectual level.
74
00:03:11,683 --> 00:03:15,353
Couldn't you just fool around
with him and then listen to NPR?
75
00:03:15,354 --> 00:03:19,824
Wouldn't help. Zack
can't even spell NPR.
76
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:21,926
It's what I do with Howard.
77
00:03:21,927 --> 00:03:23,628
I'm much smarter than he is.
78
00:03:23,629 --> 00:03:26,230
But it's important
to protect his manhood.
79
00:03:27,466 --> 00:03:30,100
Hoo.
80
00:03:31,103 --> 00:03:32,637
What's the matter?
81
00:03:32,638 --> 00:03:34,322
I'm suddenly feeling flushed.
82
00:03:34,323 --> 00:03:37,542
My heart rate is elevated,
my palms are clammy,
83
00:03:37,543 --> 00:03:38,776
my mouth is dry.
84
00:03:38,777 --> 00:03:42,246
In addition, I keep
involuntarily saying "hoo."
85
00:03:42,247 --> 00:03:45,950
Oh, we know what's
causing that, don't we?
86
00:03:45,951 --> 00:03:47,618
It's no mystery.
87
00:03:47,619 --> 00:03:49,120
I obviously have the flu
88
00:03:49,121 --> 00:03:51,589
coupled with sudden-onset
Tourette's syndrome.
89
00:03:52,891 --> 00:03:56,511
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
90
00:03:56,512 --> 00:03:59,847
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
91
00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:01,566
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
92
00:04:01,567 --> 00:04:04,018
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
93
00:04:04,019 --> 00:04:06,687
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
94
00:04:06,688 --> 00:04:09,373
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
95
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,308
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
96
00:04:11,309 --> 00:04:12,294
♪ Bang! ♪
97
00:04:12,394 --> 00:04:15,394
♪ The Big Bang Theory 4x10 ♪
The Alien Parasite Hypothesis
Original Air Date on December 9, 2010
98
00:04:15,494 --> 00:04:17,694
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
99
00:04:17,773 --> 00:04:19,872
Did you hear about the
accident at the bio lab?
100
00:04:19,972 --> 00:04:20,889
No.
What happened?
101
00:04:20,975 --> 00:04:23,776
They were injecting rats
with radioactive isotopes
102
00:04:23,777 --> 00:04:25,712
and one of the techs got bit.
103
00:04:25,713 --> 00:04:28,214
Did he get superpowers?
104
00:04:29,750 --> 00:04:33,753
No, he got five stitches
and a tetanus shot.
105
00:04:33,754 --> 00:04:36,556
Oh. Well, that's disappointing.
106
00:04:36,557 --> 00:04:38,124
Why?
107
00:04:38,125 --> 00:04:40,193
Well, you get bit by a
radioactive animal in a lab,
108
00:04:40,194 --> 00:04:42,829
you kind of want to turn
into a superhero.
109
00:04:42,830 --> 00:04:46,032
Yeah, but who'd want
to become Rat-Man?
110
00:04:46,033 --> 00:04:48,334
Who wouldn't?
111
00:04:48,335 --> 00:04:51,871
You could zip through
a maze in nothing flat,
112
00:04:51,872 --> 00:04:53,706
squeeze through
really small holes,
113
00:04:53,707 --> 00:04:56,743
and shut down restaurants
in a single bound.
114
00:04:56,744 --> 00:04:58,811
And the best part is,
if I were Rat-Man,
115
00:04:58,812 --> 00:05:01,080
you could be my
sidekick, Mouse Boy.
116
00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:07,787
Mouse Boy?
117
00:05:07,788 --> 00:05:09,222
You don't like "Mouse Boy"?
118
00:05:09,223 --> 00:05:11,324
How about "Kid Vermin"?
119
00:05:11,325 --> 00:05:13,293
First of all,
if we had superpowers,
120
00:05:13,294 --> 00:05:15,962
I wouldn't be the sidekick.
You'd be the sidekick.
121
00:05:15,963 --> 00:05:18,798
Rat-Man is nobody's sidekick.
122
00:05:18,799 --> 00:05:20,450
Leonard, settle this.
123
00:05:20,451 --> 00:05:22,702
Of the two of us, who's
the obvious sidekick?
124
00:05:22,703 --> 00:05:24,103
Yeah, Leonard, who?
125
00:05:27,207 --> 00:05:30,643
12 years after high school,
and I'm still at the nerd table.
126
00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:37,517
Aren't you slicing that
man's brain a little too thin?
127
00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:44,390
It's too thin if I were making
128
00:05:44,391 --> 00:05:46,559
a foot-long brain sandwich
at Quiznos.
129
00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:51,331
For examination under a two-
photon microscope, it's fine.
130
00:05:55,469 --> 00:05:57,170
Well, you're the expert.
131
00:05:57,171 --> 00:06:01,174
If the correct way to do it
is the wrong way, then I yield.
132
00:06:01,175 --> 00:06:02,375
Very well.
133
00:06:02,376 --> 00:06:04,627
If you die and donate
your body to science,
134
00:06:04,628 --> 00:06:06,679
I promise to slice your brain
like Canadian bacon.
135
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,648
Thank you.
136
00:06:08,649 --> 00:06:10,249
Now, if you'll
excuse me,
137
00:06:10,250 --> 00:06:13,069
I have to take my temperature.
138
00:06:13,070 --> 00:06:15,588
Are you monitoring
your circadian rhythms
139
00:06:15,589 --> 00:06:18,791
in order to identify your periods
of maximum mental acuity?
140
00:06:18,792 --> 00:06:20,626
I did that one summer.
141
00:06:20,627 --> 00:06:22,428
Ah, youth.
142
00:06:22,429 --> 00:06:26,299
No, I experienced some
distressing symptoms last night,
143
00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:28,201
so I'm checking
my vital signs every hour.
144
00:06:28,202 --> 00:06:30,236
I'd be happy to create a chart
145
00:06:30,237 --> 00:06:32,939
and participate in a
differential diagnosis.
146
00:06:32,940 --> 00:06:35,007
Oh, that sounds like fun.
147
00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:39,512
All right.
148
00:06:39,513 --> 00:06:41,114
What were the symptoms?
149
00:06:41,115 --> 00:06:45,017
Elevated heart rate,
moist palms, dry mouth
150
00:06:45,018 --> 00:06:47,987
and localized
vascular throbbing.
151
00:06:47,988 --> 00:06:52,658
Localized to what region?
152
00:06:52,659 --> 00:06:56,329
Ears and genitalia.
153
00:06:56,330 --> 00:06:58,564
Interesting.
154
00:06:58,565 --> 00:07:01,267
Not body parts
that usually team up.
155
00:07:04,104 --> 00:07:06,038
What about
environmental factors?
156
00:07:06,039 --> 00:07:07,940
Describe the scene for me.
157
00:07:07,941 --> 00:07:10,209
I was sitting in a restaurant
with Penny and Bernadette,
158
00:07:10,210 --> 00:07:13,079
drinking water-- carbonated
as it was a special occasion.
159
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:18,718
Penny's friend Zack stopped by
and said hello and I said "hoo."
160
00:07:18,719 --> 00:07:19,919
Who?
161
00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:21,220
Zack.
162
00:07:21,221 --> 00:07:23,456
Then why did you ask?
163
00:07:23,457 --> 00:07:25,591
Ask what?
Who.
164
00:07:25,592 --> 00:07:27,393
Zack.
165
00:07:27,394 --> 00:07:30,496
All right, let's start over.
166
00:07:30,497 --> 00:07:32,598
What did you say
when Zack walked in?
167
00:07:32,599 --> 00:07:35,234
"Hoo."
Zack.
168
00:07:35,235 --> 00:07:37,003
Why do you keep saying "Zack"?
169
00:07:37,004 --> 00:07:38,671
Because you keep saying "who."
170
00:07:38,672 --> 00:07:40,206
I'm not saying "hoo" now.
171
00:07:40,207 --> 00:07:41,340
I said "hoo" last night.
172
00:07:41,341 --> 00:07:43,676
And the answer was Zack,
correct?
173
00:07:43,677 --> 00:07:45,478
There was no question.
174
00:07:45,479 --> 00:07:47,280
I simply said "hoo."
175
00:07:49,450 --> 00:07:51,584
All right, I think
I have enough to go on.
176
00:07:51,585 --> 00:07:55,655
Possible explanations
for your symptoms are,
177
00:07:55,656 --> 00:07:57,957
in descending order
of likelihood:
178
00:07:57,958 --> 00:08:00,593
hyperthyroidism,
premature menopause,
179
00:08:00,594 --> 00:08:03,896
hosting an alien parasite or--
180
00:08:03,897 --> 00:08:06,232
and I only include it
for the sake of covering
181
00:08:06,233 --> 00:08:10,102
absolutely all bases--
sexual arousal.
182
00:08:12,477 --> 00:08:14,432
Where would I have picked up
an alien parasite?
183
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:19,540
There you are.
184
00:08:19,579 --> 00:08:20,066
Oh, hey.
185
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:23,068
Let me ask you a question.
What are you most afraid of?
186
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:24,670
I don't know. Um...
187
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:25,871
Nuclear war.
188
00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:27,406
Accidentally being
buried alive.
189
00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:29,408
Any of those movies where
you get that phone call
190
00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:30,709
that says you're
going to die.
191
00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:32,778
And then you do.
192
00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:34,613
No. Something very specific
193
00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:35,848
that we both know you,
194
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,684
Rajesh Koothrappali,
are terrified of.
195
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:41,520
Well, type two diabetes
runs in my family.
196
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:42,654
The thought of
losing a toe...
197
00:08:42,655 --> 00:08:44,640
Spiders!
You're afraid of spiders!
198
00:08:44,641 --> 00:08:47,159
What the heck is this?
199
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,595
A jar with a big spider
in it, of course.
200
00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:51,597
Bravery test.
201
00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:55,634
First one to take his hand out
is the sidekick.
202
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:58,303
Are you crazy?
203
00:08:58,304 --> 00:09:00,172
Perhaps.
204
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,574
Are you scared?
205
00:09:02,575 --> 00:09:04,843
No. But it's a stupid test.
206
00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:07,779
Oh, really?
What if the earth was in danger
207
00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:08,931
and the only way to save it was
208
00:09:08,932 --> 00:09:11,850
to stick your hand
in a jar with a spider?
209
00:09:11,851 --> 00:09:13,385
Oh, yeah?
What if the earth was in danger
210
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,953
and the only way
to save it was to take a shower
211
00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:17,589
in the locker room and let
other guys see you naked?
212
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:21,927
Oh, come on.
That's never gonna happen.
213
00:09:21,928 --> 00:09:24,563
Put your hand
in the jar
214
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:27,032
or forever be revealed
as my sidekick.
215
00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:29,852
All right, I will.
216
00:09:31,704 --> 00:09:34,072
How did you get so brave
all of a sudden?
217
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:35,240
It's easy.
218
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,642
The spider's crawling
up your arm.
219
00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:44,316
Get it off! Get it off!
220
00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:46,585
Please, Raj!
221
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:50,155
Please.
222
00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:51,590
Oh!
223
00:09:54,727 --> 00:09:57,362
My blood work shows
thyroid function normal.
224
00:09:57,363 --> 00:09:58,764
Cortisol levels normal.
225
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,332
How about your
226
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:02,501
follicle-stimulating hormone
levels?
227
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:05,270
Sheldon, I am not going
through menopause.
228
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,905
Are you sure?
229
00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:10,809
You said that with
the testy bark of an old biddy.
230
00:10:10,810 --> 00:10:14,079
I think we need
to face the cold, hard truth:
231
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:17,849
I was sexually aroused
by Penny's friend Zack.
232
00:10:17,850 --> 00:10:19,518
Hang on. I don't know
233
00:10:19,519 --> 00:10:21,720
that we've given
the alien parasite hypothesis
234
00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:23,822
a fair shake.
235
00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:24,890
Let's look at this logically.
236
00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:26,825
I have a stomach; I get hungry.
237
00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:29,928
I have genitals; I have the
potential for sexual arousal.
238
00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:32,898
A cross we all must bear.
239
00:10:35,084 --> 00:10:38,003
You know, in difficult
moments like this,
240
00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:41,006
I often turn to a force
greater than myself.
241
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:42,007
Religion?
242
00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:43,208
Star Trek.
243
00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:46,612
Did you see
Star Trek: The Motion Picture?
244
00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:48,647
No.
Don't. It's terrible. However...
245
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,149
in it, we learn that
246
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:54,186
when Spock finds himself
drawn off the path of logic
247
00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:58,056
by feelings bubbling up from his
human half, he suppresses them
248
00:10:58,057 --> 00:11:00,826
using the Vulcan mental
discipline of Kolinar.
249
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,928
Are you suggesting
we live our lives
250
00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:05,530
guided by the philosophies
found in cheap science fiction?
251
00:11:05,531 --> 00:11:07,666
"Cheap science fiction"?
252
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,939
What are you doing?
253
00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:20,412
Using Kolinar to suppress
my anger at that last comment.
254
00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:22,981
Is it possible that your
concern for me at this moment
255
00:11:22,982 --> 00:11:25,584
is motivated by nothing more
than simple jealousy?
256
00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:28,520
I hadn't considered that.
257
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:31,423
Give me a moment.
258
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,826
All right, I've considered it.
259
00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:37,629
And?
I reject it.
260
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:40,565
You reject it because
you don't feel jealousy,
261
00:11:40,566 --> 00:11:42,701
or because you are
suppressing jealousy?
262
00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:46,705
I think
I'll eat my lunch at home.
263
00:11:48,574 --> 00:11:50,075
That's not your
lunch, Sheldon;
264
00:11:50,076 --> 00:11:53,478
those are the cadaver
brain specimens.
265
00:11:53,479 --> 00:11:54,846
Oh.
266
00:11:54,847 --> 00:11:57,599
As they were incorrectly sliced,
267
00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:00,819
you can see how I could
mistake them for my sashimi.
268
00:12:07,984 --> 00:12:09,302
Hello.
269
00:12:09,378 --> 00:12:12,597
Hey. Isn't tomorrow
your usual laundry night?
270
00:12:12,598 --> 00:12:15,766
The supermarket was out of
my regular fabric softener.
271
00:12:15,767 --> 00:12:18,519
If this one under-
or over-softens,
272
00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:21,305
I'll need time
to make things right.
273
00:12:21,306 --> 00:12:23,007
That's thinking ahead.
274
00:12:23,008 --> 00:12:26,360
The alternative would be
to think backwards.
275
00:12:26,361 --> 00:12:27,979
That's just remembering.
276
00:12:29,948 --> 00:12:30,982
So how's Amy?
277
00:12:30,983 --> 00:12:33,351
Amy's changed.
278
00:12:33,352 --> 00:12:35,820
I might have to let her go.
279
00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:37,421
Oh, no. Why?
280
00:12:37,422 --> 00:12:40,157
I thought she was
a highly evolved creature
281
00:12:40,158 --> 00:12:42,260
of pure intellect, like me.
282
00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:44,078
But recent events indicate that
283
00:12:44,079 --> 00:12:46,547
she may be a slave
to her baser urges.
284
00:12:46,548 --> 00:12:48,566
Like you.
285
00:12:49,768 --> 00:12:52,436
Just going to
skip over that insult.
286
00:12:52,437 --> 00:12:54,889
What insult?
287
00:12:54,890 --> 00:12:57,975
Yeah. That's why
I'm going to skip over it.
288
00:12:57,976 --> 00:12:59,844
Are you saying that Amy is...
289
00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:02,847
oh, what's the
scientific word...
290
00:13:02,848 --> 00:13:05,616
Forget science. She's horny.
291
00:13:07,319 --> 00:13:09,604
Oh! Okay. Wow.
292
00:13:09,605 --> 00:13:12,957
It's simple biology. There's
nothing I can do about it.
293
00:13:17,529 --> 00:13:19,297
Are you sure?
294
00:13:20,365 --> 00:13:21,799
What are you suggesting?
295
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:25,436
I'm suggesting there
might be something
296
00:13:25,437 --> 00:13:28,873
you could do about...
Amy's urges?
297
00:13:32,477 --> 00:13:35,613
It's illegal to spay
a human being.
298
00:13:38,183 --> 00:13:40,418
Yeah. That's not
what I had in mind.
299
00:13:40,419 --> 00:13:41,886
Oh.
300
00:13:41,887 --> 00:13:44,488
Oh!
301
00:13:44,489 --> 00:13:47,158
You mean...
something I could do.
302
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:48,225
Exactly.
303
00:13:48,226 --> 00:13:53,064
Well, I was hoping
to avoid this.
304
00:13:53,065 --> 00:13:56,067
But I might as well
get it over with.
305
00:13:56,068 --> 00:13:58,268
Thank you, Penny.
306
00:13:58,269 --> 00:14:00,504
I'll let you
know what happens.
307
00:14:03,458 --> 00:14:07,078
Oh, Amy, you lucky girl.
308
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:11,682
Yes. This is Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
309
00:14:11,683 --> 00:14:13,250
Is this the Zack Johnson
310
00:14:13,251 --> 00:14:16,120
who used to have coitus
with my neighbor Penny?
311
00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:20,124
Sorry to bother you.
312
00:14:25,864 --> 00:14:29,066
Hello. I'm looking
for a Zack Johnson
313
00:14:29,067 --> 00:14:32,603
who used to have coitus
with my neighbor Penny.
314
00:14:32,604 --> 00:14:34,705
Coitus. It means intercourse.
315
00:14:34,706 --> 00:14:38,376
And I have a feeling I'm
speaking to the right Zack.
316
00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:40,611
This is Sheldon Cooper.
317
00:14:40,612 --> 00:14:42,480
Fine. Shelly.
318
00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:46,017
Yes, that does
sound like a girl's name.
319
00:14:46,018 --> 00:14:47,985
No, it doesn't bother me.
320
00:14:47,986 --> 00:14:50,921
Yes, "Smelly Shelly"
does bother me.
321
00:14:50,922 --> 00:14:52,323
Let me tell you why I'm calling.
322
00:14:52,324 --> 00:14:54,325
I'd like to know
if you'd be interested
323
00:14:54,326 --> 00:14:57,962
in having sex
with Amy Farrah Fowler.
324
00:14:57,963 --> 00:15:00,364
Amy Farrah Fowler.
325
00:15:00,365 --> 00:15:02,767
Yes, that is a girl's name.
326
00:15:02,768 --> 00:15:06,554
Good grief. It's like trying
to talk to a dolphin.
327
00:15:07,773 --> 00:15:09,707
Really?
328
00:15:09,708 --> 00:15:12,977
This is going to decide who's
the hero and who's the sidekick?
329
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:23,220
You got a better idea?
330
00:15:23,221 --> 00:15:27,658
Every idea is better
than this idea.
331
00:15:27,659 --> 00:15:28,859
Ding!
332
00:15:28,860 --> 00:15:31,695
Wait. What the hell is "ding"?
It's a bell.
333
00:15:31,696 --> 00:15:33,297
I don't think this
kind of wrestling has a bell.
334
00:15:33,298 --> 00:15:35,132
Fine. How do you
want to start?
335
00:15:35,133 --> 00:15:37,268
I say, uh, how about
one, two, three, go?
336
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:39,904
One-two-three-go?
That's for babies.
337
00:15:39,905 --> 00:15:41,939
Okay, how about, uh...
338
00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:43,374
On your mark, get set, go?
339
00:15:43,375 --> 00:15:44,725
That's for a footrace.
If you want to race,
340
00:15:44,726 --> 00:15:46,043
we have to go outside.
341
00:15:46,044 --> 00:15:48,846
No, it's chilly outside.
Didn't bring my jacket.
342
00:15:50,315 --> 00:15:51,565
Oh, for crying out loud.
343
00:15:51,566 --> 00:15:53,884
What kind of superhero
needs a jacket?
344
00:15:53,885 --> 00:15:56,270
What kind of superhero says,
"Dibs on the red tights!
345
00:15:56,271 --> 00:15:57,988
Dibs on the red tights!"
346
00:15:57,989 --> 00:16:00,958
All right, how about this?
Ready, wrestle.
347
00:16:00,959 --> 00:16:03,561
Wait. Are we starting now? Or
is that what you're going to say
348
00:16:03,562 --> 00:16:04,862
when we do start, or...
We're starting now!
349
00:16:04,863 --> 00:16:07,031
Don't yell at me!
350
00:16:14,272 --> 00:16:17,508
Suppose there are worse ways
to spend a Friday night.
351
00:16:19,444 --> 00:16:21,545
None come to mind.
352
00:16:25,117 --> 00:16:29,153
Look at this stamp.
On what authority
353
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:32,556
are they permitted to
mutilate patrons as they enter?
354
00:16:32,557 --> 00:16:34,608
I'm sure it'll wash off.
355
00:16:34,609 --> 00:16:36,227
Little comfort tonight.
356
00:16:36,228 --> 00:16:38,295
I look like a Hell's Angel.
357
00:16:39,664 --> 00:16:41,765
There's Zack.
358
00:16:41,766 --> 00:16:44,435
Are you sure this is
what you want to do?
359
00:16:44,436 --> 00:16:46,337
It's not what I want to do;
360
00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:49,206
it's what I have to do.
361
00:16:49,207 --> 00:16:52,309
Go, Amy Farrah Fowler.
362
00:16:52,310 --> 00:16:54,478
Follow your endocrine system.
363
00:16:55,547 --> 00:16:57,148
Thank you, Sheldon.
You're a good friend.
364
00:16:57,149 --> 00:16:58,616
Please don't drag this out.
365
00:17:03,054 --> 00:17:06,123
This is never going to come off.
366
00:17:06,124 --> 00:17:08,592
Excuse me?
367
00:17:08,593 --> 00:17:11,395
Zack, I am Amy Farrah Fowler.
We met the other night.
368
00:17:11,396 --> 00:17:14,632
I have spent my life in
pursuit of pure knowledge.
369
00:17:14,633 --> 00:17:16,367
Until I met you,
my decisions
370
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:18,269
were founded in
logic and reason.
371
00:17:18,270 --> 00:17:21,739
And yet here I stand before you,
130 pounds of raging estrogen,
372
00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:24,074
longing to grab hold
of your gluteus maximus
373
00:17:24,075 --> 00:17:25,576
and make Shakespeare's
metaphorical
374
00:17:25,577 --> 00:17:28,512
beast with two backs.
375
00:17:29,998 --> 00:17:32,316
My gluteus what?
376
00:17:32,317 --> 00:17:34,652
On the other hand,
377
00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:37,288
as I look at the blank, ape-like
expression on your face,
378
00:17:37,289 --> 00:17:40,224
I have decided to adopt the
Vulcan practice of Kolinar.
379
00:17:41,326 --> 00:17:43,794
Good-bye, Zack.
Bye.
380
00:17:43,795 --> 00:17:46,013
Hoo.
381
00:17:49,467 --> 00:17:51,702
That should hold me for a while.
382
00:18:02,047 --> 00:18:03,347
I'm legally obligated
to inform you
383
00:18:03,348 --> 00:18:07,701
that I took a karate lesson
when I was 11.
384
00:18:07,702 --> 00:18:09,620
I'd be a regular ninja by now
385
00:18:09,621 --> 00:18:11,372
if my mom could've
arranged a carpool.
386
00:18:12,490 --> 00:18:14,041
Oh, yeah?
387
00:18:14,042 --> 00:18:16,160
Well, I've been taking
Pilates class at the rec center,
388
00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:19,046
and my abs look like
sections of a Hershey bar.
389
00:18:19,047 --> 00:18:21,081
Oh, yeah? Won't matter,
you're going down!
390
00:18:21,082 --> 00:18:22,833
No, uh-uh, you're going down!
391
00:18:22,834 --> 00:18:24,868
If anybody's going to go down,
it's going to be you.
392
00:18:24,869 --> 00:18:29,640
Fellas. It's been 30 minutes.
Nobody's touched each other.
393
00:18:30,809 --> 00:18:34,845
I'm glad you decided to reject
your animal hindbrain
394
00:18:34,846 --> 00:18:37,481
and return to the
realm of pure intellect.
395
00:18:37,482 --> 00:18:39,650
As am I.
396
00:18:41,853 --> 00:18:43,404
What are you doing?
397
00:18:43,405 --> 00:18:45,573
An experiment.
398
00:18:46,908 --> 00:18:49,126
Nope. Nothing.
Never mind.
399
00:18:58,545 --> 00:18:59,929
You realize you can't win.
400
00:19:00,398 --> 00:19:02,733
I prefer to think
that I can't lose.
401
00:19:06,571 --> 00:19:07,637
You're wrong.
402
00:19:07,638 --> 00:19:08,872
It's only a matter of time
403
00:19:08,873 --> 00:19:12,809
before you fall into
Rat-Man's rat trap.
404
00:19:12,810 --> 00:19:14,277
You pathetic fool!
405
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:17,247
If there were a rat-catcher,
wouldn't it catch Rat-Man?
406
00:19:17,248 --> 00:19:19,649
Just because I didn't
express myself well
407
00:19:19,650 --> 00:19:22,035
doesn't mean my
underlying point was invalid!
408
00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:23,837
You bloviating buffoon!
409
00:19:23,838 --> 00:19:26,322
You narcissistic nincompoop!
410
00:19:26,323 --> 00:19:27,991
You crimson coward!
411
00:19:27,992 --> 00:19:29,393
Oh, Leonard, wake up,
412
00:19:29,394 --> 00:19:31,178
you're missing some very
excellent superhero quips.
413
00:19:31,179 --> 00:19:34,497
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==