1
00:00:02,350 --> 00:00:04,090
You know who's got to be the bravest person

2
00:00:04,210 --> 00:00:05,180
in the Marvel Universe?

3
00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:07,990
Whoever has to give She-Hulk a bikini wax.

4
00:00:09,250 --> 00:00:10,470
You want to talk brave,

5
00:00:10,620 --> 00:00:13,790
how about Captain America's undocumented Mexican gardener?

6
00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:16,140
He's not braver than

7
00:00:16,270 --> 00:00:18,270
whoever uses the bathroom after the thing?

8
00:00:19,950 --> 00:00:21,910
As usual, you're all wrong.

9
00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:23,790
The bravest person in the Marvel Universe

10
00:00:23,910 --> 00:00:27,230
is the doctor who gives wolverine his prostate exam.

11
00:00:28,580 --> 00:00:29,400
How about the guy who gets

12
00:00:29,540 --> 00:00:31,700
a prostate exam from wolverine?

13
00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:33,710
Now you just being silly.

14
00:00:34,650 --> 00:00:35,700
Wolverine's never displayed

15
00:00:35,890 --> 00:00:37,240
the slightest interest in helping others

16
00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:39,060
prevent prostate cancer.

17
00:00:43,350 --> 00:00:44,090
Hello.

18
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,830
Yes, the elevator's out of order£¬

19
00:00:46,990 --> 00:00:48,710
you'll have to use the stairs.

20
00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:50,060
Of course you can.

21
00:00:50,220 --> 00:00:52,580
Pizza dates back to the 16th century,

22
00:00:52,750 --> 00:00:55,800
while the first elevator was not installed until 1852.

23
00:00:55,940 --> 00:00:58,430
That means that for over 300 years,

24
00:00:58,590 --> 00:01:00,470
people carried pizzas up stairs.

25
00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:03,160
Be part of that proud tradition.

26
00:01:04,910 --> 00:01:07,700
I'll go get Penny while that guy spits on our food.

27
00:01:10,130 --> 00:01:13,140
Do you think they gave wolverine an Adamantium prostate?

28
00:01:13,580 --> 00:01:15,300
That's a stupid question.

29
00:01:15,460 --> 00:01:16,450
We're having a conversation about

30
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:18,830
probing the heinies of superheroes.

31
00:01:19,250 --> 00:01:20,940
There are no stupid questions.

32
00:01:28,660 --> 00:01:29,300
Yes?

33
00:01:29,420 --> 00:01:31,980
Oh, um, is Penny here?

34
00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:34,140
You're Leonard, right?

35
00:01:34,390 --> 00:01:35,440
Yeah.

36
00:01:36,740 --> 00:01:39,350
Damn, it's good to finally meet you, son.

37
00:01:39,510 --> 00:01:42,360
Okay, I think a bit of context here might help.

38
00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:44,190
Oh, hey, Leonard. I see you met my dad.

39
00:01:44,350 --> 00:01:45,670
Oh, good.

40
00:01:45,820 --> 00:01:46,740
Context.

41
00:01:47,350 --> 00:01:48,180
Come on in, buddy.

42
00:01:48,330 --> 00:01:49,040
Take a load off.

43
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:50,410
Oh, gee, dad, Leonard can't stay.

44
00:01:50,550 --> 00:01:51,890
He just dropped by to say hello.

45
00:01:52,010 --> 00:01:53,100
Thanks for stopping by, sweetie.

46
00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:54,280
I'll see you later.

47
00:01:57,660 --> 00:01:58,190
Bye.

48
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:03,940
That was odd.

49
00:02:05,770 --> 00:02:08,820
* Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state *

50
00:02:08,940 --> 00:02:12,800
* Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! *

51
00:02:13,030 --> 00:02:14,040
* The earth began to cool *

52
00:02:14,220 --> 00:02:17,110
* The autotrophs began to drool, neanderthals developed tools *

53
00:02:17,250 --> 00:02:19,000
* We built the wall, we built the pyramids *

54
00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:22,020
* Math, science, history, unraveling the mystery *

55
00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:23,960
* That all started with a big bang *

56
00:02:23,970 --> 00:02:24,850
* Bang! *

57
00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:33,430
Are you sure you have enough comics?

58
00:02:33,580 --> 00:02:36,040
You're going to be monitoring the telescope for 12 hours,

59
00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:37,840
and by my estimate, you've only selected

60
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,790
seven hours of reading material.

61
00:02:40,970 --> 00:02:41,960
That's even factoring in

62
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,360
your difficulty in parsing American comic book idioms

63
00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:46,340
like "Bamf!" and "Snikt!"

64
00:02:47,980 --> 00:02:48,860
Is that racist?

65
00:02:48,990 --> 00:02:50,080
It feels racist.

66
00:02:51,610 --> 00:02:52,810
Don't be oversensitive.

67
00:02:52,970 --> 00:02:55,250
He's calling you illiterate, not your race.

68
00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:58,410
Oh, okay. Good.

69
00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:00,570
I don't need more comics.

70
00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:01,930
Howard's gonna stop by, we're gonna play

71
00:03:02,060 --> 00:03:04,280
intergalactic battleship and Indian Monopoly.

72
00:03:04,940 --> 00:03:07,640
I don't care for novelty editions of Monopoly.

73
00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:10,180
I prefer the classics regular and Klingon.

74
00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:13,520
Actually, Indian Monopoly's

75
00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:15,910
just like regular, except the money's in Rupees,

76
00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:18,280
instead of hotels you build call centers,

77
00:03:19,140 --> 00:03:22,020
and when you pick a chance card, you might die of dysentery.

78
00:03:24,340 --> 00:03:25,330
Just FYI,

79
00:03:25,460 --> 00:03:26,650
that was racist.

80
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:31,220
You'll never guess what just happened.

81
00:03:31,350 --> 00:03:32,720
You went out in the hallway,

82
00:03:32,870 --> 00:03:34,160
Stumbled into an interdimensional portal

83
00:03:34,420 --> 00:03:36,670
which brought you 5,000 years into the future,

84
00:03:36,820 --> 00:03:38,660
where you took advantage of the advanced technology

85
00:03:38,790 --> 00:03:40,950
to build a time machine, and now you're back

86
00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:43,340
to bring us all with you to the year 7010

87
00:03:43,470 --> 00:03:45,540
where we are transported to work at the thinkatorium

88
00:03:45,670 --> 00:03:48,330
by telepathically controlled flying dolphins?

89
00:03:51,740 --> 00:03:52,350
No.

90
00:03:52,490 --> 00:03:53,320
Aw.

91
00:03:55,140 --> 00:03:56,610
Penny kissed me.

92
00:03:56,740 --> 00:03:58,450
Well, who would ever guess that?

93
00:03:59,670 --> 00:04:01,080
What... what kind of a kiss?

94
00:04:01,220 --> 00:04:03,120
A big kiss. On the mouth.

95
00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:05,390
Is it possible that she was going for your cheek

96
00:04:05,530 --> 00:04:08,000
and you moved and she accidentally got lip?

97
00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:10,570
That happens with me and my mom all the time.

98
00:04:12,370 --> 00:04:14,060
She introduced me to her father,

99
00:04:14,190 --> 00:04:17,340
kissed me and then shut the door in my face.

100
00:04:17,470 --> 00:04:19,450
Maybe she was trying to send you a message.

101
00:04:19,540 --> 00:04:20,190
You think?

102
00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:21,550
Yeah. "This man is not my father.

103
00:04:21,710 --> 00:04:23,630
I'm being held hostage.

104
00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:24,700
So I'm going to do

105
00:04:24,790 --> 00:04:25,760
something insane in the hopes

106
00:04:25,850 --> 00:04:27,240
that you'll call 911."

107
00:04:28,090 --> 00:04:29,930
Penny kissing me is not insane.

108
00:04:30,050 --> 00:04:31,420
She used to kiss me all the time.

109
00:04:31,550 --> 00:04:34,300
Einstein defined insanity as "doing the same thing

110
00:04:34,460 --> 00:04:37,670
over and over again and expecting different results."

111
00:04:38,250 --> 00:04:39,170
By that standard,

112
00:04:39,340 --> 00:04:41,310
Penny is cuckoo for cocoa puffs.

113
00:04:43,170 --> 00:04:44,040
I'm just saying,

114
00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:46,120
it felt like it may have meant something.

115
00:04:46,500 --> 00:04:47,860
Ah, this takes me back.

116
00:04:47,990 --> 00:04:49,780
Leonard obsessing about Penny.

117
00:04:49,940 --> 00:04:51,950
I mean, don't get me wrong, I love your new stuff,

118
00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:54,620
but once in a while it's nice to hear the hits.

119
00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:56,290
Ooh, ooh!

120
00:04:56,480 --> 00:05:00,110
Do "Our babies will be smart and beautiful."

121
00:05:01,540 --> 00:05:03,620
That one always makes me laugh.

122
00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:08,000
Why do I bother talking to you people?

123
00:05:08,150 --> 00:05:10,510
If it'll make you feel better, we rarely listen.

124
00:05:11,530 --> 00:05:12,910
Hey, can I talk to you out here for a sec?

125
00:05:13,050 --> 00:05:13,970
Yeah, sure.

126
00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:18,750
I'm starting to think we're never going to see that pizza.

127
00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:22,440
So you're probably wondering what that was all about.

128
00:05:22,580 --> 00:05:24,400
What, uh, the kissing and everything?

129
00:05:24,550 --> 00:05:26,700
Nah, women do that to me all the time.

130
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:30,180
Yeah, okay. The thing is, I kind of

131
00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:31,850
told my father we got back together again.

132
00:05:32,030 --> 00:05:33,230
What? Why?

133
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:34,580
Well, you're the first guy

134
00:05:34,750 --> 00:05:36,020
he's ever really approved of, you know?

135
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:37,620
You're a scientist who went to college

136
00:05:38,020 --> 00:05:39,330
and you don't have a neck tattoo

137
00:05:39,500 --> 00:05:43,500
or outstanding warrants or... or a baby.

138
00:05:45,030 --> 00:05:48,270
What kind of guys did you used to go out with?

139
00:05:48,490 --> 00:05:49,510
Just guys.

140
00:05:49,820 --> 00:05:52,060
Anyway, when I told him we split up, he was heartbroken,

141
00:05:52,330 --> 00:05:53,970
and he kept bugging me: "How's Leonard?

142
00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:55,420
why can't you get back together with Leonard?

143
00:05:55,580 --> 00:05:57,620
I bet Leonard never tipped a cow over on himself."

144
00:05:59,780 --> 00:06:01,280
So to get him off my back,

145
00:06:01,430 --> 00:06:02,890
I told him we worked things out.

146
00:06:03,220 --> 00:06:04,110
Really?

147
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:10,180
How... how'd we manage that?

148
00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:11,880
What?

149
00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:14,170
I mean, did you apologize?

150
00:06:14,350 --> 00:06:15,670
Did you have to woo me?

151
00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:18,840
Get over yourself.

152
00:06:18,980 --> 00:06:20,520
I whistled, you came running.

153
00:06:22,430 --> 00:06:23,770
Yeah, no, I don't think so.

154
00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:25,950
Okay, why are you arguing about this?

155
00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:26,670
I'm just saying,

156
00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:27,700
if we fake got back together,

157
00:06:27,830 --> 00:06:29,410
that's totally not how it fake happened.

158
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:30,120
Oh...

159
00:06:30,350 --> 00:06:31,400
Okay, whatever.

160
00:06:31,510 --> 00:06:33,470
Will you please just play along until my dad leaves?

161
00:06:33,590 --> 00:06:34,770
Hold on, you actually want me

162
00:06:34,930 --> 00:06:36,930
to deceive your father with some sort of

163
00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:38,680
sham playacting and kissing?

164
00:06:33,590 --> 00:06:34,770
Hold on, you actually want me

165
00:06:34,930 --> 00:06:36,930
to deceive your father with some sort of

166
00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:38,680
sham playacting and kissing?

167
00:06:38,790 --> 00:06:40,120
Cause I'm good with that.

168
00:06:41,690 --> 00:06:42,850
Penny, you out here?

169
00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:52,400
Come on, honey, not in front of my dad.

170
00:06:52,530 --> 00:06:55,450
Relax, I've seen you do a lot worse with a lot stupider.

171
00:06:57,640 --> 00:06:58,180
See?

172
00:06:58,330 --> 00:06:59,230
He doesn't mind.

173
00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:00,460
So, Leonard, I'm taking your gal out

174
00:07:00,660 --> 00:07:02,000
for a steak dinner, you want to join us?

175
00:07:02,140 --> 00:07:04,210
Oh, dad, that's nice, but Leonard has to work.

176
00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:05,090
Right, Leonard?

177
00:07:05,230 --> 00:07:06,590
Uh, I do, I have to work.

178
00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:08,250
But I'm gonna blow that off to spend the evening

179
00:07:08,450 --> 00:07:10,790
with my sweetie and her father, 'cause, you know,

180
00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:12,530
just the kind of boyfriend I am.

181
00:07:12,660 --> 00:07:13,420
Oh.

182
00:07:13,950 --> 00:07:15,790
Come here, you.

183
00:07:24,050 --> 00:07:24,910
C-7.

184
00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:26,820
Miss.

185
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:27,760
How could that be a miss?

186
00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:29,710
C-6 was a hit, c-8 was a hit.

187
00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:31,960
Part of your starship has to be on c-7.

188
00:07:32,950 --> 00:07:35,010
Not if it has a hole in the middle.

189
00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:39,520
What kind of spaceship has a hole in the middle?

190
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,400
A romulan battle bagel?

191
00:07:45,890 --> 00:07:46,930
Knock-knock.

192
00:07:47,130 --> 00:07:48,260
Oh, great, you made it.

193
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:49,430
Come on in.

194
00:07:50,180 --> 00:07:51,570
I invited her.

195
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,460
So where's the telescope?

196
00:07:53,630 --> 00:07:56,230
It's in hawaii, but Raj controls it from here.

197
00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:59,190
He's hoping to see epsilon eridani dim, which would be

198
00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,440
evidence of a planet orbiting it.

199
00:08:01,660 --> 00:08:03,360
So we just sit and stare at the screen,

200
00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:05,160
waiting for something to happen?

201
00:08:05,710 --> 00:08:08,660
I did it with you when we rented "The Notebook".

202
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:15,510
Yes, Gena Rowlands is a treasure.

203
00:08:16,650 --> 00:08:18,160
You'd better open up that bottle of wine

204
00:08:18,300 --> 00:08:20,200
or I'm gonna end up with swimmer's ear.

205
00:08:21,980 --> 00:08:22,850
Excuse me.

206
00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:24,710
I can't be drinking, I'm about to make

207
00:08:24,860 --> 00:08:26,470
an important scientific discovery here.

208
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,930
What? Galileo did his best work while drinking wine.

209
00:08:30,070 --> 00:08:30,940
How do you know that?

210
00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:32,300
Well, he was Italian.

211
00:08:32,450 --> 00:08:34,320
It's a reasonable assumption.

212
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:36,310
Dude, can you even open your mouth

213
00:08:36,410 --> 00:08:38,320
without spewing a cultural stereotype?

214
00:08:38,580 --> 00:08:41,250
Oh, I... I'm sorry, Galileo drank diet sprite.

215
00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:44,760
Look, you're my best friend, she's my girlfriend,

216
00:08:44,910 --> 00:08:46,030
you should bond.

217
00:08:46,170 --> 00:08:47,910
You know, like you and my mom did.

218
00:08:48,220 --> 00:08:50,550
Your mom creeps the hell out of me.

219
00:08:51,340 --> 00:08:54,440
Yes, but she's stopped calling you slumdog millionaire.

220
00:08:55,690 --> 00:08:57,130
I do appreciate that.

221
00:08:58,370 --> 00:08:59,310
Here we go.

222
00:08:59,690 --> 00:09:01,990
I'd like to propose a toast.

223
00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:04,360
To science and friendship.

224
00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:07,160
Hold on. Wait.

225
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,610
No, it's okay, go ahead.

226
00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:10,200
What?

227
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:11,300
Oh, I was working with

228
00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:13,480
Penicillin-resistant gonorrhea in the lab today

229
00:09:13,610 --> 00:09:16,720
and I was just trying to remember if I washed my hands.

230
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:24,840
Thanks for the steak, Wyatt.

231
00:09:25,050 --> 00:09:26,160
My pleasure.

232
00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:28,020
It's nice to have dinner with a boyfriend of Penny's

233
00:09:28,170 --> 00:09:29,820
that knows how to use a napkin.

234
00:09:30,950 --> 00:09:32,180
So not funny, dad.

235
00:09:32,980 --> 00:09:35,060
Let me tell you about this one genius she was going out with,

236
00:09:35,270 --> 00:09:36,450
This... this fella Donnie.

237
00:09:36,590 --> 00:09:37,740
Oh, will you please let it go?

238
00:09:37,900 --> 00:09:40,160
Donnie was gonna make millions turning farm waste

239
00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:42,550
into biofuel and selling it to the government.

240
00:09:42,680 --> 00:09:43,800
A lot of people are doing that.

241
00:09:43,940 --> 00:09:44,590
Oh, see?

242
00:09:44,770 --> 00:09:47,560
Yeah, but all Donnie did was mix pig poop with a little water

243
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:49,770
and pump it into his mom's Camry.

244
00:09:51,330 --> 00:09:52,140
Yeah, that's great.

245
00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:53,880
It's a funny story. Moving on.

246
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,020
And Donnie was a rocket scientist compared to that boy

247
00:09:56,110 --> 00:09:58,170
who wanted to get beer pong into the olympics.

248
00:09:58,320 --> 00:09:59,420
What was his name, sweetheart?

249
00:09:59,570 --> 00:10:01,830
Curtis, and I'm pretty sure he was joking.

250
00:10:02,020 --> 00:10:02,720
I don't know.

251
00:10:02,890 --> 00:10:04,700
That petition looked real to me.

252
00:10:05,470 --> 00:10:06,840
Yeah, okay, I think this ends

253
00:10:06,990 --> 00:10:08,920
the ex-boyfriend portion of our evening.

254
00:10:09,110 --> 00:10:11,660
Well, I'm just glad you finally found yourself a keeper.

255
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,030
Thanks, wyatt.

256
00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:15,800
I'm a keeper.

257
00:10:20,450 --> 00:10:21,930
Leonard, you want to come in for a nightcap?

258
00:10:22,060 --> 00:10:23,150
Oh, gee, dad, he'd love to,

259
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:24,920
but Leonard has to work in the morning.

260
00:10:25,130 --> 00:10:26,830
Maybe I could go in a little late.

261
00:10:26,990 --> 00:10:28,110
No, no, no, you can't.

262
00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:30,160
Your career is far too important.

263
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:32,300
Behind every great man is a nagging woman

264
00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:35,080
who won't let him have any fun, am I right, Leonard?

265
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:37,210
Don't I know it.

266
00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:40,450
Well, good night, son.

267
00:10:40,580 --> 00:10:41,510
Good night, Wyatt.

268
00:10:41,730 --> 00:10:43,000
Oh, good night, honey.

269
00:10:43,150 --> 00:10:44,070
Good night.

270
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,450
I love you.

271
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,280
Love you, too.

272
00:11:00,980 --> 00:11:02,180
Oh, friggety-frak.

273
00:11:02,300 --> 00:11:03,790
Not this again.

274
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:13,130
Three, four, five... pass go, get 2,000 Rupees...

275
00:11:13,300 --> 00:11:15,290
Six, seven.

276
00:11:15,430 --> 00:11:18,700
Whoops. Can't go any further. There's a sacred cow in my way.

277
00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:20,610
Bernadette, please tell your boyfriend

278
00:11:20,740 --> 00:11:21,980
to cool it with the cow jokes.

279
00:11:22,130 --> 00:11:22,780
It won't help.

280
00:11:22,930 --> 00:11:25,330
Once he finds a joke he likes, he sticks with it.

281
00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:26,260
Yeah.

282
00:11:26,390 --> 00:11:27,890
Like his haircut material.

283
00:11:28,050 --> 00:11:29,870
Oh, right. Did you get your hair cut?

284
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,850
"No. I got them all cut."

285
00:11:33,130 --> 00:11:35,780
Which is still so funny.

286
00:11:36,620 --> 00:11:38,020
And when you go to a Chinese restaurant,

287
00:11:38,140 --> 00:11:40,580
he always gets the same fortune in his fortune cookie.

288
00:11:40,730 --> 00:11:42,140
Right. "Help, I'm a prisoner

289
00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:44,630
in a Chinese fortune cookie factory."

290
00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,180
Okay, I think that's enough about me.

291
00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:50,780
He's right. Let's make fun of his mother.

292
00:11:51,650 --> 00:11:53,660
"Howard, come rub my feet!

293
00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:55,890
My corns are killing me!"

294
00:11:57,740 --> 00:11:59,930
"Howard, help me out of the tub!

295
00:12:00,070 --> 00:12:01,930
I'm stuck again!"

296
00:12:06,070 --> 00:12:06,890
Coming.

297
00:12:10,470 --> 00:12:11,420
Hey, lovebug.

298
00:12:13,430 --> 00:12:14,450
Shut up.

299
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,930
You know what I've been doing for the last hour?

300
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:19,750
Mm, dreamily doodling "Mrs. Leonard Hofstadter"

301
00:12:19,890 --> 00:12:21,200
in a notebook?

302
00:12:21,830 --> 00:12:23,490
Listening to my father go on and on

303
00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,090
about what a great guy you are.

304
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:26,690
You got to admit, I am... I'm delightful.

305
00:12:29,490 --> 00:12:31,100
Why are you making this so difficult?

306
00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:32,160
It's not difficult for me.

307
00:12:32,290 --> 00:12:33,730
I'm having fun.

308
00:12:34,790 --> 00:12:35,550
Leonard.

309
00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:37,380
What do you want me to do? You started this.

310
00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:39,200
Do you want to go over and tell him we're broken up?

311
00:12:39,350 --> 00:12:40,530
- No.  - Well, then, what do you want?

312
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:41,350
I don't know.

313
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:42,710
Don't you think that's something you should

314
00:12:42,870 --> 00:12:44,850
have figured out before you stomped over here?

315
00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:46,140
Maybe.

316
00:12:47,570 --> 00:12:49,390
Leonard, Penny, excellent.

317
00:12:49,570 --> 00:12:52,210
I'd like to say I'm very happy that you're back together,

318
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,190
and if I can figure out a way to do so

319
00:12:54,290 --> 00:12:56,310
and sound sincere, I will.

320
00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:58,290
In the meantime,

321
00:12:58,420 --> 00:13:00,140
I'd like to go over some proposed changes

322
00:13:00,310 --> 00:13:02,610
to the roommate agreement specifically to address

323
00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:04,760
Penny's annoying personal habits.

324
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:06,320
Oh, my God.

325
00:13:06,450 --> 00:13:09,130
- What personal habits?  - I have a list.

326
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:13,480
FYI, overuse of the phrase "oh, my god" is number 12.

327
00:13:14,340 --> 00:13:15,790
Okay, Sheldon, you don't have to do this

328
00:13:15,930 --> 00:13:17,630
- because Leonard and I are not...  - Ba-ba-ba-ba.

329
00:13:17,770 --> 00:13:19,410
Are you sure you want to include him in this?

330
00:13:19,570 --> 00:13:20,990
Include me in what?

331
00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:22,410
Is there a plot afoot?

332
00:13:22,530 --> 00:13:24,120
I'll have no truck with plots.

333
00:13:25,550 --> 00:13:26,270
No, you're right.

334
00:13:26,410 --> 00:13:29,770
No, there's... There's no plots, no trucks, no feet.

335
00:13:30,290 --> 00:13:32,570
So what other annoying habits shall we discuss?

336
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,840
Uh, we don't discuss anything.

337
00:13:34,990 --> 00:13:37,610
Leonard is the signatory to the Roommate Agreement.

338
00:13:37,770 --> 00:13:39,330
As such, he bears responsibility

339
00:13:39,450 --> 00:13:42,190
for all your infractions and must pay all fines.

340
00:13:43,410 --> 00:13:44,360
- Fines?  - Yes.

341
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:45,940
If Penny's going to be spending nights here again,

342
00:13:46,090 --> 00:13:47,270
you'll need to set up an escrow account.

343
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:48,490
Sign here.

344
00:13:53,470 --> 00:13:54,510
Hello, Hawaii.

345
00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:57,060
This is Dr. Koothrappali in Pasadena.

346
00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,680
I'd like you to reposition the telescope, please.

347
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,480
Scarlett Johansson's house!

348
00:14:04,230 --> 00:14:06,270
I'm kidding, Hawaii.

349
00:14:06,420 --> 00:14:07,560
Mahalo.

350
00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:09,470
Whoo!

351
00:14:11,550 --> 00:14:12,600
It might have been a mistake

352
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,920
to open that second bottle of wine.

353
00:14:15,170 --> 00:14:16,860
Well, live and learn.

354
00:14:17,530 --> 00:14:19,730
So, Raj, do you think this planet you're looking for

355
00:14:19,870 --> 00:14:22,030
could have an atmosphere that supports life?

356
00:14:22,220 --> 00:14:23,060
Maybe.

357
00:14:23,310 --> 00:14:25,350
If it did, I'd be famous.

358
00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:27,040
I'd be on the cover of magazines.

359
00:14:27,230 --> 00:14:28,750
And then, instead of living alone

360
00:14:28,870 --> 00:14:31,310
in my tiny apartment, I'd have a big mansion.

361
00:14:31,470 --> 00:14:32,380
That sounds great.

362
00:14:32,510 --> 00:14:33,290
It is.

363
00:14:34,030 --> 00:14:35,950
If you like wandering around a big, empty house

364
00:14:36,070 --> 00:14:37,950
with no one to love you.

365
00:14:40,930 --> 00:14:43,070
- We'd come visit you.  - No, you wouldn't.

366
00:14:43,260 --> 00:14:45,800
You'd be intimidated by my wealth and fame.

367
00:14:46,550 --> 00:14:47,520
My only friends would be

368
00:14:47,660 --> 00:14:49,440
my genetically engineered monkey butler.

369
00:14:49,590 --> 00:14:52,380
And the little people I hired to be my living chess set.

370
00:14:55,510 --> 00:14:57,630
He's taking a turn to the dark side, isn't he?

371
00:14:57,870 --> 00:14:59,400
Hold on. He could come back.

372
00:14:59,550 --> 00:15:01,050
Oh, what's the point of everything?

373
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,390
Nope. He's gone.

374
00:15:03,340 --> 00:15:04,430
You know it's been more than a year

375
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,430
since i've even kissed a girl?

376
00:15:06,610 --> 00:15:09,050
What about that hookup at Comic-Con you told me about?

377
00:15:09,210 --> 00:15:10,300
Oh, grow up. I was lying.

378
00:15:10,420 --> 00:15:12,920
I lie all the time. Nobody wants to kiss me.

379
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,660
Oh, you poor, poor thing.

380
00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:18,510
Raj, you have to know you're a wonderful man.

381
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:21,240
There are a lot of girls out there who'll want to kiss you.

382
00:15:21,810 --> 00:15:22,740
Where?

383
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,390
You just have to look.

384
00:15:27,910 --> 00:15:29,980
No!

385
00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:41,800
Well, this was fun.

386
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:49,710
Oh! I think I got a nibble.

387
00:15:49,910 --> 00:15:51,170
Oh, be careful.

388
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:52,610
Give him some line.

389
00:15:54,250 --> 00:15:56,170
Okay, now reel him in.

390
00:15:57,260 --> 00:15:58,530
Oh, look at that baby.

391
00:15:58,640 --> 00:15:59,940
They're really biting, huh?

392
00:16:00,090 --> 00:16:02,340
Yeah. They do that when you set it on easy.

393
00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:06,240
Oh, that's me.

394
00:16:08,020 --> 00:16:08,900
Hello.

395
00:16:09,070 --> 00:16:10,300
Oh, hi, sweetie.

396
00:16:10,580 --> 00:16:12,340
Yeah, I got up early and didn't want to wake you,

397
00:16:12,450 --> 00:16:15,460
so I went out for coffee and ran into Leonard on the way back.

398
00:16:15,580 --> 00:16:17,460
Guess what... We're fishing.

399
00:16:18,690 --> 00:16:20,430
Yeah. Right here on his couch.

400
00:16:21,620 --> 00:16:25,220
Hey, baby. I love you!

401
00:16:26,020 --> 00:16:27,220
That's Leonard

402
00:16:27,390 --> 00:16:28,740
says he loves you.

403
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:31,580
What?

404
00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:34,260
I see.

405
00:16:35,290 --> 00:16:37,650
The whole thing's bull squirt, huh?

406
00:16:38,770 --> 00:16:40,790
Well, that's very disappointing.

407
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:42,440
Bye.

408
00:16:49,990 --> 00:16:50,630
Oh, hey.

409
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,070
There's been something I've been meaning to tell you.

410
00:16:55,150 --> 00:16:57,030
I can't believe you would lie to me like that.

411
00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:58,760
Just for the record, I did not want to be a part of this.

412
00:16:58,870 --> 00:17:00,150
I'll get to you in a minute.

413
00:17:00,510 --> 00:17:01,610
No hurry.

414
00:17:02,130 --> 00:17:03,990
That my own daughter thinks I don't love her enough

415
00:17:04,150 --> 00:17:05,940
To support her no matter what choices she makes...

416
00:17:06,060 --> 00:17:07,370
Well, that hurts me deeply.

417
00:17:07,540 --> 00:17:08,390
- I'm sorry, daddy...  - Let me finish.

418
00:17:08,590 --> 00:17:09,250
Oh.

419
00:17:09,550 --> 00:17:10,580
I thought we were past the days

420
00:17:10,710 --> 00:17:12,910
when you would try to pull the wool over my eyes.

421
00:17:13,030 --> 00:17:16,270
Telling me the baggie in your underwear drawer is potpourri?

422
00:17:17,780 --> 00:17:19,230
And the pee stick in your bathroom

423
00:17:19,350 --> 00:17:21,810
Is to check for diabetes?

424
00:17:25,390 --> 00:17:26,750
You know, I'm sorry.

425
00:17:26,910 --> 00:17:28,570
You're a grown woman, and I respect your right

426
00:17:28,710 --> 00:17:30,280
To make your own decisions, but all I ask

427
00:17:30,390 --> 00:17:32,910
is you respect me enough to be honest about them.

428
00:17:33,060 --> 00:17:35,620
You're right. Look, from now on, I will tell you the truth.

429
00:17:35,790 --> 00:17:38,190
Thank you. Now, why don't you go and put some clothes on

430
00:17:38,310 --> 00:17:40,350
and we'll grab a bite to eat before I head for the airport.

431
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:42,790
- Now you.  - Daddy, he had nothing to do...

432
00:17:42,950 --> 00:17:44,270
- Keep walking. - Okay.

433
00:17:48,180 --> 00:17:50,910
Please, please, please don't give up on her.

434
00:17:53,310 --> 00:17:54,340
What?

435
00:17:55,030 --> 00:17:57,050
I can't go back to the skateboard idiots,

436
00:17:57,190 --> 00:17:58,540
the white rappers and all those

437
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:01,500
Sweaty dumb-asses with their backwards hats.

438
00:18:03,190 --> 00:18:05,980
Gee, I don't know if it's in the cards, sir.

439
00:18:06,110 --> 00:18:07,460
Then, stack the deck.

440
00:18:08,140 --> 00:18:08,960
Cheat.

441
00:18:09,070 --> 00:18:11,060
Lie. I don't care.

442
00:18:11,380 --> 00:18:12,790
I want grandkids before I die,

443
00:18:12,900 --> 00:18:15,040
and I want them to grow up in a house without wheels.

444
00:18:22,140 --> 00:18:23,490
I'll give it a shot.

445
00:18:23,610 --> 00:18:24,440
Thank you.

446
00:18:25,090 --> 00:18:27,270
Now I'm going to do something here to help you along.

447
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:28,860
- Excuse me? - Just don't panic.

448
00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:31,780
Now, get your sorry, lying ass out of my face

449
00:18:31,890 --> 00:18:33,940
and make sure I never see it again!

450
00:18:34,470 --> 00:18:36,450
Oh, the reverse psychology thing.

451
00:18:36,570 --> 00:18:37,540
I see. That's very clever.

452
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:39,140
Don't yap. Just get out.

453
00:18:40,860 --> 00:18:42,540
I'll friend you on Facebook.

454
00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:51,530
Oh, there you are.

455
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,700
Just so you know, I was up all night,

456
00:18:53,860 --> 00:18:55,410
but I have finally completed

457
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:58,690
The Penny-specific section of the new roommate agreement.

458
00:19:00,110 --> 00:19:01,510
Yeah, well, not necessary.

459
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,240
We broke up again.

460
00:19:15,570 --> 00:19:17,930
Do you even think about other people, leonard?

461
00:19:20,740 --> 00:19:21,530
Do you?

462
00:19:29,010 --> 00:19:30,970
- Hey.  - Oh, how'd it go last night?

463
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:33,890
Oh, you know.

464
00:19:34,030 --> 00:19:35,700
Same old, same old.

465
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:37,310
Looked through a telescope, saw some stars.

466
00:19:37,430 --> 00:19:38,330
Big whoop.

467
00:19:39,380 --> 00:19:40,180
Really?

468
00:19:40,340 --> 00:19:42,070
You waited months for time with that telescope.

469
00:19:42,210 --> 00:19:42,730
What happened?

470
00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:43,740
Why? You writing a book?

471
00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:47,920
I'm going to propose a hypothesis.

472
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:50,640
Last night, Raj accidentally made contact

473
00:19:50,810 --> 00:19:52,450
With an alien civilization

474
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,430
and has been ordered by the United States government

475
00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:57,190
To keep it a secret.

476
00:19:59,110 --> 00:19:59,880
Nothing happened.

477
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,500
Can we please just change the subject?

478
00:20:01,630 --> 00:20:03,260
That sounds rehearsed.

479
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,140
We are not alone.

480
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:06,540
Hey.

481
00:20:06,690 --> 00:20:07,960
- Hey.  - Hello.

482
00:20:08,210 --> 00:20:09,300
- Hey.  - Hey.

483
00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:14,250
You get to play with raj's big telescope last night?

484
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:17,190
Whoa.

485
00:20:17,340 --> 00:20:19,470
Where did that come from?

486
00:20:19,610 --> 00:20:21,830
He never touched my telescope.

487
00:20:22,470 --> 00:20:23,660
Way to go shutting up.

488
00:20:23,810 --> 00:20:24,930
I did shut up. Now you shut up.

489
00:20:25,050 --> 00:20:26,560
- Fine.  - Thank you.
_____________________
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