1 00:00:08,797 --> 00:00:10,823 Damn you, walletnook.com! 2 00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:13,605 Problem? 3 00:00:13,759 --> 00:00:16,026 The online description was completely misleading. 4 00:00:16,210 --> 00:00:18,791 They said: "8 slots plus removable ID". 5 00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:21,975 To any rational person, that would mean room for nine cards. 6 00:00:22,129 --> 00:00:26,065 But they don't tell you the removable ID takes up one slot. It's a nightmare. 7 00:00:27,629 --> 00:00:32,030 Do you really need the Honorary Justice League of American membership card? 8 00:00:33,378 --> 00:00:36,370 It's been in every wallet I've owned since I was five. 9 00:00:37,112 --> 00:00:38,086 Why? 10 00:00:38,501 --> 00:00:41,202 It says, "Keep this on your person at all times." 11 00:00:42,190 --> 00:00:44,347 It's right here under Batman's signature. 12 00:00:46,498 --> 00:00:49,702 ...and this is Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. 13 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,619 Guess whose parents just got broadband. 14 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:54,967 Leonard, may I present, live from New Delhi, 15 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:56,819 Dr. and Mrs. V. M. Koothrappali. 16 00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:59,116 Hi! Tilt up the camera up! 17 00:00:59,314 --> 00:01:00,885 I'm looking at his crotch. 18 00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:02,214 Sorry, Papa. 19 00:01:02,419 --> 00:01:03,823 Oh, that's much better. Hi. 20 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,107 And over here is Sheldon. 21 00:01:08,711 --> 00:01:09,914 He lives with Leonard. 22 00:01:10,341 --> 00:01:12,960 That's nice. Like Haroon and Tanvir. 23 00:01:13,183 --> 00:01:14,641 Not like Haroon and Tanvir. 24 00:01:14,933 --> 00:01:16,195 Such sweet young men. 25 00:01:16,462 --> 00:01:19,664 They just adopted the cutest little Punjabi baby. 26 00:01:20,065 --> 00:01:22,207 No, we're not like Haroon and Tanvir. 27 00:01:23,247 --> 00:01:25,190 So, are you boys academics like our son? 28 00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:26,286 Yes. 29 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,099 And your parents are comfortable with your limited earning potential? 30 00:01:29,274 --> 00:01:30,528 - Oh, yes. - Not at all. 31 00:01:30,945 --> 00:01:32,381 Papa, please. Don't start. 32 00:01:32,563 --> 00:01:34,770 It was just a question. He's so sensitive. 33 00:01:34,921 --> 00:01:37,333 That's my life. That's my friends. Good to see you. Say good-bye. 34 00:01:37,545 --> 00:01:39,513 - Bye. - Wait! Wait! 35 00:01:41,679 --> 00:01:43,512 Before you go, we have good news. 36 00:01:43,705 --> 00:01:45,576 Put the computer down and gather your friends. 37 00:01:50,712 --> 00:01:52,369 - What is it, Papa? - Friends! 38 00:01:53,983 --> 00:01:55,623 Is it just me, or does web chatting 39 00:01:55,797 --> 00:01:57,842 with your clothes on seem a little pointless? 40 00:02:00,033 --> 00:02:01,480 Do you rember Lalita Gupta? 41 00:02:01,869 --> 00:02:05,596 The little fat girl that used to kick me in the samosas and call me untouchable? 42 00:02:05,789 --> 00:02:08,741 Yes. Well, now she's a dental student at USC, 43 00:02:09,128 --> 00:02:11,107 so we gave her your contact information. 44 00:02:11,755 --> 00:02:12,981 Why did you do that? 45 00:02:13,170 --> 00:02:15,654 You're 26 years old, Rajesh. We want grandchildren. 46 00:02:15,867 --> 00:02:19,291 - But, Papa, I'm not supposed... - Lalita's parents approved the match. 47 00:02:19,918 --> 00:02:22,697 If you decide on a spring wedding, we can avoid monsoon season. 48 00:02:23,064 --> 00:02:24,395 A spring wedding?! 49 00:02:24,780 --> 00:02:26,734 It's up to you, dear. We don't want to meddle. 50 00:02:26,893 --> 00:02:28,745 If you don't want to meddle, then why are you? 51 00:02:28,957 --> 00:02:31,523 If I may, your parents probably don't consider this meddling. 52 00:02:31,696 --> 00:02:33,614 While arranged marriages are no longer the norm, 53 00:02:33,782 --> 00:02:35,210 Indian parents continue to have 54 00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:37,795 a greater-than-average involvement in their children's love lives. 55 00:02:38,110 --> 00:02:40,366 Why are you telling me about my own culture? 56 00:02:41,465 --> 00:02:42,700 You seemed confused. 57 00:02:44,616 --> 00:02:46,816 Sorry, but with all due respect, I really don't want to... 58 00:02:46,998 --> 00:02:48,565 I'm sorry, darling. We have to go. 59 00:02:48,821 --> 00:02:50,190 Doogie Howser is on. 60 00:02:51,403 --> 00:02:53,409 Grandma! It's Doogie Time! 61 00:02:54,027 --> 00:02:55,377 - Bye-bye! - Bye-bye! 62 00:02:58,913 --> 00:03:00,236 I don't believe it. 63 00:03:00,451 --> 00:03:01,451 Neither do I. 64 00:03:01,644 --> 00:03:04,240 Doogie Howser's been off the air for like 20 years. 65 00:03:05,357 --> 00:03:06,669 Actually, I read somewhere 66 00:03:06,843 --> 00:03:08,957 that it's one of the most popular programs in India. 67 00:03:09,111 --> 00:03:11,035 It might speak to a cultural aspiration 68 00:03:11,155 --> 00:03:13,261 to have one's children enter the medical profession. 69 00:03:13,381 --> 00:03:14,438 I bet you're right. 70 00:03:14,651 --> 00:03:16,986 - I bet they loveScrubs. - What's not to love? 71 00:03:17,199 --> 00:03:18,355 Excuse me! Hello? 72 00:03:19,002 --> 00:03:22,378 My parents are trying to marry me to a total stranger. What am I going to do? 73 00:03:22,926 --> 00:03:24,450 I suggest you go through with it. 74 00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:25,530 What?! 75 00:03:25,749 --> 00:03:29,953 Romantic love as the basis for marriage has only existed since the 19th century. 76 00:03:30,284 --> 00:03:32,502 Up until then, arranged marriages were the norm, 77 00:03:32,675 --> 00:03:34,193 and it served society quite well. 78 00:03:34,425 --> 00:03:36,315 It's the entire premise of Fiddler on the Roof. 79 00:03:36,470 --> 00:03:39,074 I'm not a big fan of musicals, but I love that show. 80 00:03:39,403 --> 00:03:41,945 Me too. Of course, it speaks to me culturally. 81 00:03:42,253 --> 00:03:44,672 Understandable, but there's a universality to that story 82 00:03:44,865 --> 00:03:46,177 which transcends ethnicity. 83 00:03:46,577 --> 00:03:48,672 Let's not forget it's got some really catchy tunes. 84 00:03:50,765 --> 00:03:52,433 - I know what I'm going to do. - What? 85 00:03:52,676 --> 00:03:53,891 Find new friends. 86 00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:01,633 So who wants to rent Fiddler? 87 00:04:01,971 --> 00:04:03,553 No need, we have the special edition. 88 00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:08,325 Maybe we are like Haroon and Tanvir. 89 00:04:29,381 --> 00:04:30,809 Subtitles: swsub.com 90 00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:34,467 This is Dr. Sheldon Cooper. 91 00:04:34,778 --> 00:04:37,393 Yeah, I need to cancel my membership to the planetarium. 92 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:41,817 Well, I'm sorry, too, 93 00:04:42,026 --> 00:04:44,321 but there's just no room for you in my wallet. 94 00:04:46,750 --> 00:04:47,740 I understand, 95 00:04:47,896 --> 00:04:50,443 but it was between you and the Museum of Natural History, 96 00:04:50,634 --> 00:04:52,679 and frankly, you don't have dinosaurs. 97 00:04:54,873 --> 00:04:56,204 I'll miss you, too. Bye-bye. 98 00:04:58,103 --> 00:05:01,306 Okay, I know you're texting about me and I'd really like you to stop. 99 00:05:04,031 --> 00:05:06,423 Oh, dear, I am rightly and truly screwed. 100 00:05:07,330 --> 00:05:09,211 Hey, I thought you were finding new friends. 101 00:05:09,423 --> 00:05:10,909 I've got some feelers out. 102 00:05:11,783 --> 00:05:13,590 In the meantime, listen to this. 103 00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:16,157 Hi, Rajesh. This is Lalita Gupta. 104 00:05:16,501 --> 00:05:19,589 Your mother gave my mother your phone number to give to me. 105 00:05:19,781 --> 00:05:21,035 So, I'm calling you 106 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:23,658 and... call me back. Bye. 107 00:05:26,450 --> 00:05:28,418 Can you believe how pushy she is? 108 00:05:30,767 --> 00:05:32,116 So don't call her. 109 00:05:32,420 --> 00:05:34,795 If I don't call her, I won't hear the end of it from my parents. 110 00:05:34,967 --> 00:05:36,130 - So call her. - How? 111 00:05:36,304 --> 00:05:37,751 You know I can't talk to women. 112 00:05:38,688 --> 00:05:39,898 I'm done. Anybody else? 113 00:05:41,003 --> 00:05:42,334 - Give me the phone. - Why? 114 00:05:42,662 --> 00:05:43,757 Just give it to me. 115 00:05:44,930 --> 00:05:47,017 - What are you doing? - Don't worry. You'll thank me. 116 00:05:48,266 --> 00:05:50,475 Hello, Lalita? Raj Koothrappali here. 117 00:05:53,883 --> 00:05:56,044 Yes, it is good to talk to you, too. 118 00:05:58,642 --> 00:06:00,340 So what are you wearing? 119 00:06:03,583 --> 00:06:04,837 Oh, not important. 120 00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:07,658 So, anyhow, when would you like to meet? 121 00:06:09,071 --> 00:06:10,596 Friday works for me! 122 00:06:12,249 --> 00:06:14,354 I'll call you with a time and place. 123 00:06:14,850 --> 00:06:17,426 But in the meantime, keep it real, babe. 124 00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:25,518 You may now thank me. 125 00:06:27,070 --> 00:06:29,465 For what? Making me sound like a Simpsons character? 126 00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:32,160 Next time make your own date. 127 00:06:32,358 --> 00:06:34,578 - I didn't want this one! - Look on the bright side, 128 00:06:34,751 --> 00:06:36,930 she might turn out to be a nice, beautiful girl. 129 00:06:37,201 --> 00:06:39,594 Great, then we'll get married, I won't be able to talk to her 130 00:06:39,825 --> 00:06:42,449 and we'll spend the rest of our lives in total silence. 131 00:06:43,037 --> 00:06:44,639 It worked for my parents. 132 00:06:46,479 --> 00:06:47,421 Hi, guys. 133 00:06:47,787 --> 00:06:49,161 I need some guinea pigs. 134 00:06:49,586 --> 00:06:53,334 There's a lab animal supply company in Reseda you could try. 135 00:06:53,701 --> 00:06:55,887 But if your research is going to have human applications, 136 00:06:56,061 --> 00:06:57,508 may I suggest white mice instead? 137 00:06:57,662 --> 00:07:00,228 Their brain chemistry is far closer to ours. 138 00:07:02,027 --> 00:07:03,485 I swear to God, one day, 139 00:07:03,697 --> 00:07:05,935 I'm going to get the hang of talking to you. 140 00:07:06,602 --> 00:07:08,694 His mom's been saying that for years. 141 00:07:11,412 --> 00:07:12,360 What's up? 142 00:07:12,688 --> 00:07:15,177 I finally convinced the restaurant to give me a bartending shift, 143 00:07:15,343 --> 00:07:16,983 so I need to practice mixing drinks. 144 00:07:17,225 --> 00:07:19,516 Great. The key to acquiring proficiency 145 00:07:19,709 --> 00:07:21,291 in any task is repetition. 146 00:07:21,620 --> 00:07:23,164 With certain obvious exceptions. 147 00:07:24,635 --> 00:07:26,171 Suicide, for example. 148 00:07:28,538 --> 00:07:29,994 So, Leonard, how about it? 149 00:07:32,012 --> 00:07:35,651 We'd love to help you, but Raj is going through some stuff right now, 150 00:07:35,938 --> 00:07:37,538 besides, he doesn't drink, so... 151 00:07:40,156 --> 00:07:41,156 Really? 152 00:07:43,893 --> 00:07:45,916 Raj is going through some stuff right now 153 00:07:46,128 --> 00:07:48,018 and he'd like to take up drinking. 154 00:07:51,121 --> 00:07:53,572 Here you go, Leonard. One Tequila Sunrise. 155 00:07:53,785 --> 00:07:54,785 Thank you. 156 00:07:55,268 --> 00:07:56,827 This drink is a wonderful example 157 00:07:57,095 --> 00:07:59,181 of how liquids with different specific gravities 158 00:07:59,374 --> 00:08:01,245 interact in a cylindrical container. 159 00:08:03,347 --> 00:08:04,347 Thank you. 160 00:08:05,695 --> 00:08:06,911 Okay, Raj, what'll it be? 161 00:08:09,819 --> 00:08:11,009 Whatever you recommend. 162 00:08:11,376 --> 00:08:13,705 How about a Grasshopper? I make a mean Grasshopper. 163 00:08:14,673 --> 00:08:15,811 Okay? Good. Coming up. 164 00:08:16,068 --> 00:08:17,701 Sheldon, what are you going to have? 165 00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:19,516 I'll have a Diet Coke. 166 00:08:21,114 --> 00:08:24,389 Can you please order a cocktail? I need to practice mixing drinks. 167 00:08:24,647 --> 00:08:27,194 Fine. I'll have a Virgin Cuba Libre. 168 00:08:29,888 --> 00:08:32,124 That's, rum and Coke without the rum. 169 00:08:32,486 --> 00:08:33,470 Yes. 170 00:08:35,194 --> 00:08:36,194 So... Coke. 171 00:08:36,543 --> 00:08:37,449 Yes. 172 00:08:38,914 --> 00:08:40,457 And would you make it diet? 173 00:08:45,716 --> 00:08:47,028 There's a can in the fridge. 174 00:08:47,862 --> 00:08:51,457 A Cuba Libre traditionally comes in a tall glass with a lime wedge. 175 00:08:52,023 --> 00:08:53,450 Then swim to Cuba. 176 00:08:56,129 --> 00:08:58,207 Bartenders are supposed to have people skills. 177 00:09:01,536 --> 00:09:02,829 Raj, here you go. 178 00:09:03,351 --> 00:09:04,625 All right. Who's next? 179 00:09:04,904 --> 00:09:07,084 I'd like to try a Slippery Nipple. 180 00:09:12,104 --> 00:09:13,338 Okay, you're cut off. 181 00:09:16,117 --> 00:09:17,274 Anybody need a refill? 182 00:09:17,944 --> 00:09:19,294 Where did my life go, Penny? 183 00:09:22,286 --> 00:09:24,667 One day I'm a carefree bachelor, and the next I'm married 184 00:09:24,860 --> 00:09:26,837 and driving a minivan to peewee cricket matches 185 00:09:27,011 --> 00:09:28,651 in suburban New Delhi. 186 00:09:31,126 --> 00:09:32,342 Are you talking to me? 187 00:09:32,858 --> 00:09:34,449 Is the another Penny here? 188 00:09:36,212 --> 00:09:38,609 I had such plans. I had dreams. 189 00:09:38,982 --> 00:09:42,257 I was going to be the Indira Gandhi of particle astrophysics. 190 00:09:42,567 --> 00:09:44,364 But with a penis, of course. 191 00:09:46,788 --> 00:09:49,066 - Amazing. - Ever since I was a little boy, 192 00:09:49,295 --> 00:09:51,359 my father wanted me to be a gynecologist like him. 193 00:09:52,565 --> 00:09:56,076 How can I be a gynecologist? I can barely look a woman in the eye! 194 00:09:59,898 --> 00:10:00,834 You know what? 195 00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:03,393 I'm not going to let my parents control my future any longer. 196 00:10:03,582 --> 00:10:05,009 It's time for a showdown. 197 00:10:05,258 --> 00:10:07,468 Somebody give me a computer with a webcam! 198 00:10:09,210 --> 00:10:11,429 Sweetie, I think that's the Grasshopper talking. 199 00:10:11,757 --> 00:10:13,263 And it's about to tell my parents 200 00:10:13,436 --> 00:10:16,716 that I'm not riding an elephant down the aisle with Lalita Gupta. 201 00:10:17,026 --> 00:10:18,317 Okay, calm down. 202 00:10:19,079 --> 00:10:20,931 No one can make you get married. 203 00:10:21,548 --> 00:10:23,692 Why don't you just meet this girl and see what happens? 204 00:10:23,876 --> 00:10:26,412 Haven't you been listening to me? I cannot talk to women. 205 00:10:27,655 --> 00:10:29,719 No, no, let's see how long it takes him. 206 00:10:31,252 --> 00:10:32,371 Raj, honey, 207 00:10:32,817 --> 00:10:36,132 you say you can't talk to women, but you've been talking to me. 208 00:10:36,377 --> 00:10:37,806 And now we'll never know. 209 00:10:39,525 --> 00:10:40,525 You're right. 210 00:10:42,121 --> 00:10:43,491 I am talking to you. 211 00:10:44,321 --> 00:10:45,845 Hello, Penny, how are you? 212 00:10:47,613 --> 00:10:49,819 - I'm fine. - Okay, now I just need 213 00:10:50,070 --> 00:10:52,954 to make sure I have a Lalita before I meet the Grasshopper. 214 00:10:56,257 --> 00:10:58,633 It's a sweet, green miracle. 215 00:10:59,414 --> 00:11:02,804 If you're going to drink on this date, just promise me you won't overdo it. 216 00:11:03,260 --> 00:11:04,260 Overdo what? 217 00:11:04,719 --> 00:11:05,719 Happiness? 218 00:11:07,019 --> 00:11:08,019 Freedom? 219 00:11:08,510 --> 00:11:10,331 This warm glow inside of me 220 00:11:10,524 --> 00:11:13,388 that promises everything's going to be all hunky-dunky? 221 00:11:14,436 --> 00:11:16,967 Yeah, that. Why don't you bring her to my restaurant 222 00:11:17,140 --> 00:11:19,321 while I'm tending the bar so I can keep an eye on you. 223 00:11:21,846 --> 00:11:23,150 What's the plan here? 224 00:11:23,301 --> 00:11:25,446 Let's say he meets her, he likes her, they get married. 225 00:11:25,581 --> 00:11:28,165 What's he going to do, stay drunk for the rest of his life? 226 00:11:28,359 --> 00:11:29,824 Worked for my parents. 227 00:11:41,724 --> 00:11:45,139 I can't believe I'm sitting here next to little Lalita Gupta. 228 00:11:46,476 --> 00:11:47,634 Well, you are. 229 00:11:48,354 --> 00:11:49,549 Little Lalita. 230 00:11:50,456 --> 00:11:51,989 That's kind of fun to say. 231 00:11:52,250 --> 00:11:54,450 Little Lalita, little Lalita, little Lalita. 232 00:11:55,607 --> 00:11:57,286 - You should try it. - Oh, it's okay. 233 00:12:00,769 --> 00:12:02,370 You have lost so much weight. 234 00:12:03,751 --> 00:12:07,069 That must have been difficult for you because you were so, so fat. 235 00:12:08,968 --> 00:12:09,971 Do you remember? 236 00:12:10,732 --> 00:12:11,806 Yes, I do. 237 00:12:12,092 --> 00:12:14,835 Of course you do. Who could forget being that fat? 238 00:12:16,839 --> 00:12:17,946 I've been trying. 239 00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:20,964 So you're a dental student. 240 00:12:23,205 --> 00:12:26,438 Are you aware that dentists have an extremely high suicide rate? 241 00:12:27,648 --> 00:12:29,733 Not as high as, say, air traffic controllers, 242 00:12:29,853 --> 00:12:32,213 but there are far more dentists than air traffic controllers, 243 00:12:32,374 --> 00:12:34,188 so in pure numbers, you're still winning. 244 00:12:35,053 --> 00:12:36,053 Yay, me. 245 00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:40,344 Do you have a drink that will make him less obnoxious? 246 00:12:40,791 --> 00:12:42,458 Drinks do not work that way. 247 00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:45,522 I'd say he's doing fine. Look at her. 248 00:12:45,752 --> 00:12:49,128 The last girl my mom set me up with had a mustache and a vestigial tail. 249 00:12:51,889 --> 00:12:53,433 - Sorry I'm late. - What happened? 250 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,847 Nothing. I just really didn't want to come. 251 00:12:57,997 --> 00:13:00,505 Virgin diet Cuba Libre, please. 252 00:13:02,214 --> 00:13:04,587 In a tall glass with a lime wedge. 253 00:13:05,808 --> 00:13:07,544 Oh, I'll wedge it right in there. 254 00:13:10,065 --> 00:13:11,328 So how's Koothrappali... 255 00:13:11,744 --> 00:13:13,037 Oh, my Lord. 256 00:13:13,325 --> 00:13:15,501 - What? - That's Princess Panchali. 257 00:13:16,448 --> 00:13:18,039 I'm pretty sure her name's Lalita. 258 00:13:18,254 --> 00:13:21,755 No, no, Princess Panchali, fromThe Monkey and the Princess. 259 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:26,160 Oh, yeah. I tried to watch that online, but they wanted my credit card. 260 00:13:28,410 --> 00:13:29,673 It's a children's story. 261 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:31,155 Oh, no, it isn't. 262 00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:37,817 When I was a little boy and got sick, which was most of the time, 263 00:13:38,002 --> 00:13:39,417 my mother would read it to me. 264 00:13:39,602 --> 00:13:42,592 It's about an Indian princess who befriends a monkey 265 00:13:42,882 --> 00:13:45,903 who was mocked by all the other monkeys because he was different. 266 00:13:46,141 --> 00:13:48,562 For some reason, I related to it quite strongly. 267 00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:50,946 I know the reason. 268 00:13:52,144 --> 00:13:53,579 We all know the reason. 269 00:13:55,470 --> 00:13:56,955 Sheldon, what are you getting at? 270 00:13:57,176 --> 00:13:59,192 That woman looks exactly like the pictures 271 00:13:59,346 --> 00:14:00,957 of Princess Panchali in the book. 272 00:14:01,434 --> 00:14:04,891 How often does one see a beloved fictional character come to life? 273 00:14:05,372 --> 00:14:07,045 Every year at Comic-Con. 274 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:09,695 Every day at Disneyland. 275 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,263 You can hire Snow White to come to your house. 276 00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:14,799 Of course, they prefer it if you have a kid. 277 00:14:16,031 --> 00:14:17,823 Hey, guys. This is Lalita Gupta. 278 00:14:18,035 --> 00:14:19,232 Lalita, this is Leonard 279 00:14:19,435 --> 00:14:21,384 and Sheldon and Howard and Penny. 280 00:14:21,747 --> 00:14:23,715 Isn't it great? She isn't fat anymore. 281 00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:27,593 "Forgive me, Your Highness, for I am but a monkey, 282 00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:29,323 "and it is in my nature to climb. 283 00:14:29,510 --> 00:14:30,958 "I did not mean to gaze upon you 284 00:14:31,131 --> 00:14:32,670 as you comb your hair." 285 00:14:34,405 --> 00:14:35,486 I'm sorry? 286 00:14:35,883 --> 00:14:38,892 You are the living embodiment of the beautiful Princess Panchali. 287 00:14:39,523 --> 00:14:40,853 Oh, no kidding. 288 00:14:41,512 --> 00:14:42,515 Who is that? 289 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,216 A beloved character from an Indian folktale. 290 00:14:47,393 --> 00:14:49,766 Us Indian or "Come to our casino" Indian? 291 00:14:52,129 --> 00:14:53,016 You Indian. 292 00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:56,015 The resemblance is remarkable. 293 00:14:56,406 --> 00:14:58,278 I can practically smell the lotus blossoms 294 00:14:58,471 --> 00:14:59,880 woven into your ebony hair. 295 00:15:00,118 --> 00:15:01,313 Well, thanks. 296 00:15:02,114 --> 00:15:04,077 I imagine you smell very nice, too. 297 00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:08,027 I shower twice a day and wash my hands as often as I can. 298 00:15:08,978 --> 00:15:10,655 Really? So do I. 299 00:15:10,898 --> 00:15:12,924 But you're a dentist. He's nuts. 300 00:15:14,973 --> 00:15:16,478 Don't be insulting, Rajesh. 301 00:15:17,176 --> 00:15:18,082 So, Sheldon, 302 00:15:18,641 --> 00:15:21,030 tell me more about this princess you say I look like. 303 00:15:21,455 --> 00:15:25,163 It was said that the gods fashioned her eyes out of the stars 304 00:15:25,510 --> 00:15:29,458 and that roses were ashamed to bloom in the presence of her ruby lips. 305 00:15:30,358 --> 00:15:32,452 - Oh, my. - Back off, Sheldon. 306 00:15:33,044 --> 00:15:33,893 What? 307 00:15:34,077 --> 00:15:36,944 If you do not stop hitting on my lady, you'll feel the full extent of my wrath. 308 00:15:38,833 --> 00:15:40,048 I'm not hitting on her. 309 00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:41,811 And I am not your lady. 310 00:15:41,994 --> 00:15:43,629 And you have no wrath. 311 00:15:45,975 --> 00:15:48,077 You are my lady. Our parents said so. 312 00:15:48,290 --> 00:15:50,702 We are, for all intents and purposes, 100% hooked up. 313 00:15:51,224 --> 00:15:52,749 Let's get something straight here. 314 00:15:52,942 --> 00:15:55,733 The only reason I came tonight was to get my parents off my case. 315 00:15:55,939 --> 00:15:58,588 I certainly don't need to be getting this Old World crap from you. 316 00:15:58,767 --> 00:16:00,300 That's exactly the kind of spirit 317 00:16:00,492 --> 00:16:03,002 with which Princess Panchali led the monkeys to freedom. 318 00:16:03,218 --> 00:16:05,484 - Screw Princess Panchali. - You can't talk to me like that. 319 00:16:05,638 --> 00:16:07,181 But you're not Princess Panchali. 320 00:16:07,373 --> 00:16:09,633 Luckily for you-- she could have you beheaded. 321 00:16:10,562 --> 00:16:11,796 Sheldon, are you hungry? 322 00:16:11,964 --> 00:16:13,953 - I could eat. - Let's go. 323 00:16:18,243 --> 00:16:19,343 What just happened? 324 00:16:19,585 --> 00:16:21,234 Beats the hell out of me. 325 00:16:21,401 --> 00:16:24,695 I'll tell you what happened. I just learned how to pick up Indian chicks. 326 00:16:27,844 --> 00:16:29,995 What are we supposed to say to Lalita's parents? 327 00:16:30,318 --> 00:16:32,950 I play golf with her father. I won't be able to look at him. 328 00:16:33,116 --> 00:16:35,635 Maybe you should keep your eye on the ball, Papa. 329 00:16:36,220 --> 00:16:37,511 Oh, now you're a funny man. 330 00:16:37,631 --> 00:16:39,530 This is not funny, Mr. Funny Man. 331 00:16:40,505 --> 00:16:41,841 Dr. and Mrs. Koothrappali, 332 00:16:42,053 --> 00:16:44,542 in all fairness, it wasn't entirely Raj's fault. 333 00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:46,387 This is a family matter, Sheldon. 334 00:16:46,541 --> 00:16:47,525 I'm Leonard. 335 00:16:48,422 --> 00:16:50,312 Sorry. You all look alike to us. 336 00:16:52,248 --> 00:16:54,372 But he's right, Papa. Listen to him. 337 00:16:55,089 --> 00:16:57,359 You! You are the one who ruined everything. 338 00:16:57,702 --> 00:16:59,124 Who is it? We can't see. 339 00:16:59,403 --> 00:17:00,695 Turn us. Turn us! 340 00:17:04,075 --> 00:17:06,834 Go ahead, tell my parents why they won't have any grandchildren. 341 00:17:07,364 --> 00:17:09,891 How would I know? Do you have a low sperm count? 342 00:17:11,973 --> 00:17:14,029 This has nothing to do with my sperm count. 343 00:17:14,268 --> 00:17:16,947 You are wearing the boxers that we sent you, aren't you? 344 00:17:17,140 --> 00:17:19,111 - Yes, Mumi. - Because you know what happens 345 00:17:19,284 --> 00:17:21,561 to the samosas when you wear tighty-whities. 346 00:17:22,886 --> 00:17:25,003 Can we please stop talking about my testicles? 347 00:17:25,571 --> 00:17:27,018 Sheldon, tell them what you did. 348 00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:28,293 What did I do? 349 00:17:28,844 --> 00:17:30,124 You left with his date. 350 00:17:30,655 --> 00:17:32,489 Friends don't do that to each other. 351 00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:35,957 All right, noted. 352 00:17:38,220 --> 00:17:39,220 Sorry. 353 00:17:39,474 --> 00:17:41,163 Sorry? That's all you can say is sorry? 354 00:17:41,403 --> 00:17:43,645 Take it. It's more than I've ever gotten. 355 00:17:43,877 --> 00:17:44,866 May I point out, 356 00:17:45,024 --> 00:17:48,023 she wouldn't have asked me to go with her if you hadn't been drunk and boring. 357 00:17:48,242 --> 00:17:50,561 - Drunk? - And boring-- her words. 358 00:17:51,687 --> 00:17:54,397 I knew it. He moves to America and he becomes an alcoholic. 359 00:17:54,614 --> 00:17:55,985 I'm not an alcoholic. 360 00:17:56,274 --> 00:17:57,624 Then why were you drunk? 361 00:17:58,202 --> 00:18:01,028 - It was just this one time, I swear. - Are you in denial? 362 00:18:01,197 --> 00:18:03,219 Do we have to come over and do an intervention? 363 00:18:03,387 --> 00:18:05,726 Don't embarrass him in front of his friends. 364 00:18:06,136 --> 00:18:07,972 All right. Carry us outside. 365 00:18:08,183 --> 00:18:09,972 We want to talk to you in private. 366 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:12,399 - But, Papa, please... - Now, Rajesh! 367 00:18:16,951 --> 00:18:18,010 I have to go. 368 00:18:20,482 --> 00:18:21,582 Now, listen to me... 369 00:18:21,795 --> 00:18:23,604 At least wait till I get into the hall. 370 00:18:27,338 --> 00:18:28,548 Okay, well, good night. 371 00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:30,155 Hold on. 372 00:18:31,355 --> 00:18:33,022 What happened with you and Lalita? 373 00:18:33,893 --> 00:18:35,884 We ate, she lectured me 374 00:18:36,094 --> 00:18:38,100 on the link between gum disease and heart attacks-- 375 00:18:38,293 --> 00:18:40,454 nothing I didn't already know-- and I came home. 376 00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:42,823 So you're not going to see her again? 377 00:18:43,593 --> 00:18:45,078 Why would I see her again? 378 00:18:45,439 --> 00:18:47,002 I already have a dentist. 379 00:18:52,676 --> 00:18:56,114 I wonder who's going to tell his parents they're not having grandchildren? 380 00:19:17,672 --> 00:19:19,447 I don't believe it. What's gotten into him? 381 00:19:19,964 --> 00:19:22,418 Oh, maybe a couple virgin Cuba Libres 382 00:19:22,631 --> 00:19:24,926 that turned out to be kind of slutty. 383 00:19:26,421 --> 00:19:27,443 You didn't. 384 00:19:27,683 --> 00:19:29,844 You do your experiments. I do mine.