1
00:00:08,797 --> 00:00:10,823
Damn you, walletnook.com!
2
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:13,605
Problem?
3
00:00:13,759 --> 00:00:16,026
The online description
was completely misleading.
4
00:00:16,210 --> 00:00:18,791
They said:
"8 slots plus removable ID".
5
00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:21,975
To any rational person,
that would mean room for nine cards.
6
00:00:22,129 --> 00:00:26,065
But they don't tell you the removable ID
takes up one slot. It's a nightmare.
7
00:00:27,629 --> 00:00:32,030
Do you really need the Honorary Justice
League of American membership card?
8
00:00:33,378 --> 00:00:36,370
It's been in every wallet I've owned
since I was five.
9
00:00:37,112 --> 00:00:38,086
Why?
10
00:00:38,501 --> 00:00:41,202
It says,
"Keep this on your person at all times."
11
00:00:42,190 --> 00:00:44,347
It's right here
under Batman's signature.
12
00:00:46,498 --> 00:00:49,702
...and this is Leonard
and Sheldon's apartment.
13
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,619
Guess whose parents
just got broadband.
14
00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:54,967
Leonard, may I present,
live from New Delhi,
15
00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:56,819
Dr. and Mrs. V. M. Koothrappali.
16
00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:59,116
Hi!
Tilt up the camera up!
17
00:00:59,314 --> 00:01:00,885
I'm looking at his crotch.
18
00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:02,214
Sorry, Papa.
19
00:01:02,419 --> 00:01:03,823
Oh, that's much better. Hi.
20
00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,107
And over here is Sheldon.
21
00:01:08,711 --> 00:01:09,914
He lives with Leonard.
22
00:01:10,341 --> 00:01:12,960
That's nice.
Like Haroon and Tanvir.
23
00:01:13,183 --> 00:01:14,641
Not like Haroon and Tanvir.
24
00:01:14,933 --> 00:01:16,195
Such sweet young men.
25
00:01:16,462 --> 00:01:19,664
They just adopted the cutest
little Punjabi baby.
26
00:01:20,065 --> 00:01:22,207
No, we're not like
Haroon and Tanvir.
27
00:01:23,247 --> 00:01:25,190
So, are you boys academics
like our son?
28
00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:26,286
Yes.
29
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,099
And your parents are comfortable
with your limited earning potential?
30
00:01:29,274 --> 00:01:30,528
- Oh, yes.
- Not at all.
31
00:01:30,945 --> 00:01:32,381
Papa, please. Don't start.
32
00:01:32,563 --> 00:01:34,770
It was just a question.
He's so sensitive.
33
00:01:34,921 --> 00:01:37,333
That's my life. That's my friends.
Good to see you. Say good-bye.
34
00:01:37,545 --> 00:01:39,513
- Bye.
- Wait! Wait!
35
00:01:41,679 --> 00:01:43,512
Before you go,
we have good news.
36
00:01:43,705 --> 00:01:45,576
Put the computer down
and gather your friends.
37
00:01:50,712 --> 00:01:52,369
- What is it, Papa?
- Friends!
38
00:01:53,983 --> 00:01:55,623
Is it just me,
or does web chatting
39
00:01:55,797 --> 00:01:57,842
with your clothes on
seem a little pointless?
40
00:02:00,033 --> 00:02:01,480
Do you rember Lalita Gupta?
41
00:02:01,869 --> 00:02:05,596
The little fat girl that used to kick me
in the samosas and call me untouchable?
42
00:02:05,789 --> 00:02:08,741
Yes. Well, now she's
a dental student at USC,
43
00:02:09,128 --> 00:02:11,107
so we gave her
your contact information.
44
00:02:11,755 --> 00:02:12,981
Why did you do that?
45
00:02:13,170 --> 00:02:15,654
You're 26 years old, Rajesh.
We want grandchildren.
46
00:02:15,867 --> 00:02:19,291
- But, Papa, I'm not supposed...
- Lalita's parents approved the match.
47
00:02:19,918 --> 00:02:22,697
If you decide on a spring wedding,
we can avoid monsoon season.
48
00:02:23,064 --> 00:02:24,395
A spring wedding?!
49
00:02:24,780 --> 00:02:26,734
It's up to you, dear.
We don't want to meddle.
50
00:02:26,893 --> 00:02:28,745
If you don't want to meddle,
then why are you?
51
00:02:28,957 --> 00:02:31,523
If I may, your parents probably
don't consider this meddling.
52
00:02:31,696 --> 00:02:33,614
While arranged marriages
are no longer the norm,
53
00:02:33,782 --> 00:02:35,210
Indian parents continue to have
54
00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:37,795
a greater-than-average involvement
in their children's love lives.
55
00:02:38,110 --> 00:02:40,366
Why are you telling me
about my own culture?
56
00:02:41,465 --> 00:02:42,700
You seemed confused.
57
00:02:44,616 --> 00:02:46,816
Sorry, but with all due respect,
I really don't want to...
58
00:02:46,998 --> 00:02:48,565
I'm sorry, darling.
We have to go.
59
00:02:48,821 --> 00:02:50,190
Doogie Howser is on.
60
00:02:51,403 --> 00:02:53,409
Grandma!
It's Doogie Time!
61
00:02:54,027 --> 00:02:55,377
- Bye-bye!
- Bye-bye!
62
00:02:58,913 --> 00:03:00,236
I don't believe it.
63
00:03:00,451 --> 00:03:01,451
Neither do I.
64
00:03:01,644 --> 00:03:04,240
Doogie Howser's been off
the air for like 20 years.
65
00:03:05,357 --> 00:03:06,669
Actually,
I read somewhere
66
00:03:06,843 --> 00:03:08,957
that it's one of the most
popular programs in India.
67
00:03:09,111 --> 00:03:11,035
It might speak to a cultural aspiration
68
00:03:11,155 --> 00:03:13,261
to have one's children
enter the medical profession.
69
00:03:13,381 --> 00:03:14,438
I bet you're right.
70
00:03:14,651 --> 00:03:16,986
- I bet they loveScrubs.
- What's not to love?
71
00:03:17,199 --> 00:03:18,355
Excuse me! Hello?
72
00:03:19,002 --> 00:03:22,378
My parents are trying to marry me to
a total stranger. What am I going to do?
73
00:03:22,926 --> 00:03:24,450
I suggest you go through with it.
74
00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:25,530
What?!
75
00:03:25,749 --> 00:03:29,953
Romantic love as the basis for marriage
has only existed since the 19th century.
76
00:03:30,284 --> 00:03:32,502
Up until then,
arranged marriages were the norm,
77
00:03:32,675 --> 00:03:34,193
and it served society quite well.
78
00:03:34,425 --> 00:03:36,315
It's the entire premise
of Fiddler on the Roof.
79
00:03:36,470 --> 00:03:39,074
I'm not a big fan of musicals,
but I love that show.
80
00:03:39,403 --> 00:03:41,945
Me too.
Of course, it speaks to me culturally.
81
00:03:42,253 --> 00:03:44,672
Understandable, but there's
a universality to that story
82
00:03:44,865 --> 00:03:46,177
which transcends ethnicity.
83
00:03:46,577 --> 00:03:48,672
Let's not forget it's got
some really catchy tunes.
84
00:03:50,765 --> 00:03:52,433
- I know what I'm going to do.
- What?
85
00:03:52,676 --> 00:03:53,891
Find new friends.
86
00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:01,633
So who wants to rent Fiddler?
87
00:04:01,971 --> 00:04:03,553
No need, we have the special edition.
88
00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:08,325
Maybe we are like Haroon and Tanvir.
89
00:04:29,381 --> 00:04:30,809
Subtitles: swsub.com
90
00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:34,467
This is Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
91
00:04:34,778 --> 00:04:37,393
Yeah, I need to cancel
my membership to the planetarium.
92
00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:41,817
Well, I'm sorry, too,
93
00:04:42,026 --> 00:04:44,321
but there's just no room
for you in my wallet.
94
00:04:46,750 --> 00:04:47,740
I understand,
95
00:04:47,896 --> 00:04:50,443
but it was between you
and the Museum of Natural History,
96
00:04:50,634 --> 00:04:52,679
and frankly,
you don't have dinosaurs.
97
00:04:54,873 --> 00:04:56,204
I'll miss you, too. Bye-bye.
98
00:04:58,103 --> 00:05:01,306
Okay, I know you're texting about me
and I'd really like you to stop.
99
00:05:04,031 --> 00:05:06,423
Oh, dear,
I am rightly and truly screwed.
100
00:05:07,330 --> 00:05:09,211
Hey, I thought you were
finding new friends.
101
00:05:09,423 --> 00:05:10,909
I've got some feelers out.
102
00:05:11,783 --> 00:05:13,590
In the meantime, listen to this.
103
00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:16,157
Hi, Rajesh.
This is Lalita Gupta.
104
00:05:16,501 --> 00:05:19,589
Your mother gave my mother
your phone number to give to me.
105
00:05:19,781 --> 00:05:21,035
So, I'm calling you
106
00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:23,658
and... call me back. Bye.
107
00:05:26,450 --> 00:05:28,418
Can you believe how pushy she is?
108
00:05:30,767 --> 00:05:32,116
So don't call her.
109
00:05:32,420 --> 00:05:34,795
If I don't call her, I won't hear
the end of it from my parents.
110
00:05:34,967 --> 00:05:36,130
- So call her.
- How?
111
00:05:36,304 --> 00:05:37,751
You know I can't talk to women.
112
00:05:38,688 --> 00:05:39,898
I'm done.
Anybody else?
113
00:05:41,003 --> 00:05:42,334
- Give me the phone.
- Why?
114
00:05:42,662 --> 00:05:43,757
Just give it to me.
115
00:05:44,930 --> 00:05:47,017
- What are you doing?
- Don't worry. You'll thank me.
116
00:05:48,266 --> 00:05:50,475
Hello, Lalita?
Raj Koothrappali here.
117
00:05:53,883 --> 00:05:56,044
Yes, it is good
to talk to you, too.
118
00:05:58,642 --> 00:06:00,340
So what are you wearing?
119
00:06:03,583 --> 00:06:04,837
Oh, not important.
120
00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:07,658
So, anyhow,
when would you like to meet?
121
00:06:09,071 --> 00:06:10,596
Friday works for me!
122
00:06:12,249 --> 00:06:14,354
I'll call you with a time and place.
123
00:06:14,850 --> 00:06:17,426
But in the meantime,
keep it real, babe.
124
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:25,518
You may now thank me.
125
00:06:27,070 --> 00:06:29,465
For what? Making me sound
like a Simpsons character?
126
00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:32,160
Next time make your own date.
127
00:06:32,358 --> 00:06:34,578
- I didn't want this one!
- Look on the bright side,
128
00:06:34,751 --> 00:06:36,930
she might turn out to be
a nice, beautiful girl.
129
00:06:37,201 --> 00:06:39,594
Great, then we'll get married,
I won't be able to talk to her
130
00:06:39,825 --> 00:06:42,449
and we'll spend the rest
of our lives in total silence.
131
00:06:43,037 --> 00:06:44,639
It worked for my parents.
132
00:06:46,479 --> 00:06:47,421
Hi, guys.
133
00:06:47,787 --> 00:06:49,161
I need some guinea pigs.
134
00:06:49,586 --> 00:06:53,334
There's a lab animal supply company
in Reseda you could try.
135
00:06:53,701 --> 00:06:55,887
But if your research is going
to have human applications,
136
00:06:56,061 --> 00:06:57,508
may I suggest white mice instead?
137
00:06:57,662 --> 00:07:00,228
Their brain chemistry
is far closer to ours.
138
00:07:02,027 --> 00:07:03,485
I swear to God, one day,
139
00:07:03,697 --> 00:07:05,935
I'm going to get the hang
of talking to you.
140
00:07:06,602 --> 00:07:08,694
His mom's been saying that for years.
141
00:07:11,412 --> 00:07:12,360
What's up?
142
00:07:12,688 --> 00:07:15,177
I finally convinced the restaurant
to give me a bartending shift,
143
00:07:15,343 --> 00:07:16,983
so I need to practice mixing drinks.
144
00:07:17,225 --> 00:07:19,516
Great.
The key to acquiring proficiency
145
00:07:19,709 --> 00:07:21,291
in any task is repetition.
146
00:07:21,620 --> 00:07:23,164
With certain obvious exceptions.
147
00:07:24,635 --> 00:07:26,171
Suicide, for example.
148
00:07:28,538 --> 00:07:29,994
So, Leonard, how about it?
149
00:07:32,012 --> 00:07:35,651
We'd love to help you, but Raj
is going through some stuff right now,
150
00:07:35,938 --> 00:07:37,538
besides, he doesn't drink, so...
151
00:07:40,156 --> 00:07:41,156
Really?
152
00:07:43,893 --> 00:07:45,916
Raj is going through
some stuff right now
153
00:07:46,128 --> 00:07:48,018
and he'd like to take up drinking.
154
00:07:51,121 --> 00:07:53,572
Here you go, Leonard.
One Tequila Sunrise.
155
00:07:53,785 --> 00:07:54,785
Thank you.
156
00:07:55,268 --> 00:07:56,827
This drink is a wonderful example
157
00:07:57,095 --> 00:07:59,181
of how liquids with different
specific gravities
158
00:07:59,374 --> 00:08:01,245
interact in a cylindrical container.
159
00:08:03,347 --> 00:08:04,347
Thank you.
160
00:08:05,695 --> 00:08:06,911
Okay, Raj, what'll it be?
161
00:08:09,819 --> 00:08:11,009
Whatever you recommend.
162
00:08:11,376 --> 00:08:13,705
How about a Grasshopper?
I make a mean Grasshopper.
163
00:08:14,673 --> 00:08:15,811
Okay? Good. Coming up.
164
00:08:16,068 --> 00:08:17,701
Sheldon, what are you going to have?
165
00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:19,516
I'll have a Diet Coke.
166
00:08:21,114 --> 00:08:24,389
Can you please order a cocktail?
I need to practice mixing drinks.
167
00:08:24,647 --> 00:08:27,194
Fine.
I'll have a Virgin Cuba Libre.
168
00:08:29,888 --> 00:08:32,124
That's, rum and Coke
without the rum.
169
00:08:32,486 --> 00:08:33,470
Yes.
170
00:08:35,194 --> 00:08:36,194
So... Coke.
171
00:08:36,543 --> 00:08:37,449
Yes.
172
00:08:38,914 --> 00:08:40,457
And would you make it diet?
173
00:08:45,716 --> 00:08:47,028
There's a can in the fridge.
174
00:08:47,862 --> 00:08:51,457
A Cuba Libre traditionally comes
in a tall glass with a lime wedge.
175
00:08:52,023 --> 00:08:53,450
Then swim to Cuba.
176
00:08:56,129 --> 00:08:58,207
Bartenders are supposed
to have people skills.
177
00:09:01,536 --> 00:09:02,829
Raj, here you go.
178
00:09:03,351 --> 00:09:04,625
All right.
Who's next?
179
00:09:04,904 --> 00:09:07,084
I'd like to try
a Slippery Nipple.
180
00:09:12,104 --> 00:09:13,338
Okay, you're cut off.
181
00:09:16,117 --> 00:09:17,274
Anybody need a refill?
182
00:09:17,944 --> 00:09:19,294
Where did my life go, Penny?
183
00:09:22,286 --> 00:09:24,667
One day I'm a carefree bachelor,
and the next I'm married
184
00:09:24,860 --> 00:09:26,837
and driving a minivan
to peewee cricket matches
185
00:09:27,011 --> 00:09:28,651
in suburban New Delhi.
186
00:09:31,126 --> 00:09:32,342
Are you talking to me?
187
00:09:32,858 --> 00:09:34,449
Is the another Penny here?
188
00:09:36,212 --> 00:09:38,609
I had such plans.
I had dreams.
189
00:09:38,982 --> 00:09:42,257
I was going to be the Indira Gandhi
of particle astrophysics.
190
00:09:42,567 --> 00:09:44,364
But with a penis, of course.
191
00:09:46,788 --> 00:09:49,066
- Amazing.
- Ever since I was a little boy,
192
00:09:49,295 --> 00:09:51,359
my father wanted me to be
a gynecologist like him.
193
00:09:52,565 --> 00:09:56,076
How can I be a gynecologist?
I can barely look a woman in the eye!
194
00:09:59,898 --> 00:10:00,834
You know what?
195
00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:03,393
I'm not going to let my parents
control my future any longer.
196
00:10:03,582 --> 00:10:05,009
It's time for a showdown.
197
00:10:05,258 --> 00:10:07,468
Somebody give me a computer
with a webcam!
198
00:10:09,210 --> 00:10:11,429
Sweetie, I think
that's the Grasshopper talking.
199
00:10:11,757 --> 00:10:13,263
And it's about to tell my parents
200
00:10:13,436 --> 00:10:16,716
that I'm not riding an elephant
down the aisle with Lalita Gupta.
201
00:10:17,026 --> 00:10:18,317
Okay, calm down.
202
00:10:19,079 --> 00:10:20,931
No one can make you get married.
203
00:10:21,548 --> 00:10:23,692
Why don't you just meet this girl
and see what happens?
204
00:10:23,876 --> 00:10:26,412
Haven't you been listening to me?
I cannot talk to women.
205
00:10:27,655 --> 00:10:29,719
No, no, let's see
how long it takes him.
206
00:10:31,252 --> 00:10:32,371
Raj, honey,
207
00:10:32,817 --> 00:10:36,132
you say you can't talk to women,
but you've been talking to me.
208
00:10:36,377 --> 00:10:37,806
And now we'll never know.
209
00:10:39,525 --> 00:10:40,525
You're right.
210
00:10:42,121 --> 00:10:43,491
I am talking to you.
211
00:10:44,321 --> 00:10:45,845
Hello, Penny, how are you?
212
00:10:47,613 --> 00:10:49,819
- I'm fine.
- Okay, now I just need
213
00:10:50,070 --> 00:10:52,954
to make sure I have a Lalita
before I meet the Grasshopper.
214
00:10:56,257 --> 00:10:58,633
It's a sweet, green miracle.
215
00:10:59,414 --> 00:11:02,804
If you're going to drink on this date,
just promise me you won't overdo it.
216
00:11:03,260 --> 00:11:04,260
Overdo what?
217
00:11:04,719 --> 00:11:05,719
Happiness?
218
00:11:07,019 --> 00:11:08,019
Freedom?
219
00:11:08,510 --> 00:11:10,331
This warm glow inside of me
220
00:11:10,524 --> 00:11:13,388
that promises everything's
going to be all hunky-dunky?
221
00:11:14,436 --> 00:11:16,967
Yeah, that.
Why don't you bring her to my restaurant
222
00:11:17,140 --> 00:11:19,321
while I'm tending the bar
so I can keep an eye on you.
223
00:11:21,846 --> 00:11:23,150
What's the plan here?
224
00:11:23,301 --> 00:11:25,446
Let's say he meets her,
he likes her, they get married.
225
00:11:25,581 --> 00:11:28,165
What's he going to do,
stay drunk for the rest of his life?
226
00:11:28,359 --> 00:11:29,824
Worked for my parents.
227
00:11:41,724 --> 00:11:45,139
I can't believe I'm sitting here
next to little Lalita Gupta.
228
00:11:46,476 --> 00:11:47,634
Well, you are.
229
00:11:48,354 --> 00:11:49,549
Little Lalita.
230
00:11:50,456 --> 00:11:51,989
That's kind of fun to say.
231
00:11:52,250 --> 00:11:54,450
Little Lalita, little
Lalita, little Lalita.
232
00:11:55,607 --> 00:11:57,286
- You should try it.
- Oh, it's okay.
233
00:12:00,769 --> 00:12:02,370
You have lost so much weight.
234
00:12:03,751 --> 00:12:07,069
That must have been difficult for you
because you were so, so fat.
235
00:12:08,968 --> 00:12:09,971
Do you remember?
236
00:12:10,732 --> 00:12:11,806
Yes, I do.
237
00:12:12,092 --> 00:12:14,835
Of course you do.
Who could forget being that fat?
238
00:12:16,839 --> 00:12:17,946
I've been trying.
239
00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:20,964
So you're a dental student.
240
00:12:23,205 --> 00:12:26,438
Are you aware that dentists
have an extremely high suicide rate?
241
00:12:27,648 --> 00:12:29,733
Not as high as, say,
air traffic controllers,
242
00:12:29,853 --> 00:12:32,213
but there are far more dentists
than air traffic controllers,
243
00:12:32,374 --> 00:12:34,188
so in pure numbers,
you're still winning.
244
00:12:35,053 --> 00:12:36,053
Yay, me.
245
00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:40,344
Do you have a drink that will
make him less obnoxious?
246
00:12:40,791 --> 00:12:42,458
Drinks do not work that way.
247
00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:45,522
I'd say he's doing fine.
Look at her.
248
00:12:45,752 --> 00:12:49,128
The last girl my mom set me up with
had a mustache and a vestigial tail.
249
00:12:51,889 --> 00:12:53,433
- Sorry I'm late.
- What happened?
250
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,847
Nothing.
I just really didn't want to come.
251
00:12:57,997 --> 00:13:00,505
Virgin diet Cuba Libre, please.
252
00:13:02,214 --> 00:13:04,587
In a tall glass
with a lime wedge.
253
00:13:05,808 --> 00:13:07,544
Oh, I'll wedge it right in there.
254
00:13:10,065 --> 00:13:11,328
So how's Koothrappali...
255
00:13:11,744 --> 00:13:13,037
Oh, my Lord.
256
00:13:13,325 --> 00:13:15,501
- What?
- That's Princess Panchali.
257
00:13:16,448 --> 00:13:18,039
I'm pretty sure her name's Lalita.
258
00:13:18,254 --> 00:13:21,755
No, no, Princess Panchali,
fromThe Monkey and the Princess.
259
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:26,160
Oh, yeah. I tried to watch that online,
but they wanted my credit card.
260
00:13:28,410 --> 00:13:29,673
It's a children's story.
261
00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:31,155
Oh, no, it isn't.
262
00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:37,817
When I was a little boy and got sick,
which was most of the time,
263
00:13:38,002 --> 00:13:39,417
my mother would read it to me.
264
00:13:39,602 --> 00:13:42,592
It's about an Indian princess
who befriends a monkey
265
00:13:42,882 --> 00:13:45,903
who was mocked by all the other monkeys
because he was different.
266
00:13:46,141 --> 00:13:48,562
For some reason,
I related to it quite strongly.
267
00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:50,946
I know the reason.
268
00:13:52,144 --> 00:13:53,579
We all know the reason.
269
00:13:55,470 --> 00:13:56,955
Sheldon, what are you getting at?
270
00:13:57,176 --> 00:13:59,192
That woman looks
exactly like the pictures
271
00:13:59,346 --> 00:14:00,957
of Princess Panchali in the book.
272
00:14:01,434 --> 00:14:04,891
How often does one see a beloved
fictional character come to life?
273
00:14:05,372 --> 00:14:07,045
Every year at Comic-Con.
274
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:09,695
Every day at Disneyland.
275
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,263
You can hire Snow White
to come to your house.
276
00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:14,799
Of course, they prefer it
if you have a kid.
277
00:14:16,031 --> 00:14:17,823
Hey, guys.
This is Lalita Gupta.
278
00:14:18,035 --> 00:14:19,232
Lalita, this is Leonard
279
00:14:19,435 --> 00:14:21,384
and Sheldon
and Howard and Penny.
280
00:14:21,747 --> 00:14:23,715
Isn't it great?
She isn't fat anymore.
281
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:27,593
"Forgive me, Your Highness,
for I am but a monkey,
282
00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:29,323
"and it is in my nature to climb.
283
00:14:29,510 --> 00:14:30,958
"I did not mean to gaze upon you
284
00:14:31,131 --> 00:14:32,670
as you comb your hair."
285
00:14:34,405 --> 00:14:35,486
I'm sorry?
286
00:14:35,883 --> 00:14:38,892
You are the living embodiment
of the beautiful Princess Panchali.
287
00:14:39,523 --> 00:14:40,853
Oh, no kidding.
288
00:14:41,512 --> 00:14:42,515
Who is that?
289
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,216
A beloved character
from an Indian folktale.
290
00:14:47,393 --> 00:14:49,766
Us Indian or
"Come to our casino" Indian?
291
00:14:52,129 --> 00:14:53,016
You Indian.
292
00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:56,015
The resemblance is remarkable.
293
00:14:56,406 --> 00:14:58,278
I can practically smell
the lotus blossoms
294
00:14:58,471 --> 00:14:59,880
woven into your ebony hair.
295
00:15:00,118 --> 00:15:01,313
Well, thanks.
296
00:15:02,114 --> 00:15:04,077
I imagine you smell very nice, too.
297
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:08,027
I shower twice a day and wash
my hands as often as I can.
298
00:15:08,978 --> 00:15:10,655
Really? So do I.
299
00:15:10,898 --> 00:15:12,924
But you're a dentist.
He's nuts.
300
00:15:14,973 --> 00:15:16,478
Don't be insulting, Rajesh.
301
00:15:17,176 --> 00:15:18,082
So, Sheldon,
302
00:15:18,641 --> 00:15:21,030
tell me more about this princess
you say I look like.
303
00:15:21,455 --> 00:15:25,163
It was said that the gods
fashioned her eyes out of the stars
304
00:15:25,510 --> 00:15:29,458
and that roses were ashamed to bloom
in the presence of her ruby lips.
305
00:15:30,358 --> 00:15:32,452
- Oh, my.
- Back off, Sheldon.
306
00:15:33,044 --> 00:15:33,893
What?
307
00:15:34,077 --> 00:15:36,944
If you do not stop hitting on my lady,
you'll feel the full extent of my wrath.
308
00:15:38,833 --> 00:15:40,048
I'm not hitting on her.
309
00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:41,811
And I am not your lady.
310
00:15:41,994 --> 00:15:43,629
And you have no wrath.
311
00:15:45,975 --> 00:15:48,077
You are my lady.
Our parents said so.
312
00:15:48,290 --> 00:15:50,702
We are, for all intents
and purposes, 100% hooked up.
313
00:15:51,224 --> 00:15:52,749
Let's get something straight here.
314
00:15:52,942 --> 00:15:55,733
The only reason I came tonight
was to get my parents off my case.
315
00:15:55,939 --> 00:15:58,588
I certainly don't need to be getting
this Old World crap from you.
316
00:15:58,767 --> 00:16:00,300
That's exactly the kind of spirit
317
00:16:00,492 --> 00:16:03,002
with which Princess Panchali
led the monkeys to freedom.
318
00:16:03,218 --> 00:16:05,484
- Screw Princess Panchali.
- You can't talk to me like that.
319
00:16:05,638 --> 00:16:07,181
But you're not Princess Panchali.
320
00:16:07,373 --> 00:16:09,633
Luckily for you--
she could have you beheaded.
321
00:16:10,562 --> 00:16:11,796
Sheldon, are you hungry?
322
00:16:11,964 --> 00:16:13,953
- I could eat.
- Let's go.
323
00:16:18,243 --> 00:16:19,343
What just happened?
324
00:16:19,585 --> 00:16:21,234
Beats the hell out of me.
325
00:16:21,401 --> 00:16:24,695
I'll tell you what happened. I just
learned how to pick up Indian chicks.
326
00:16:27,844 --> 00:16:29,995
What are we supposed to say
to Lalita's parents?
327
00:16:30,318 --> 00:16:32,950
I play golf with her father.
I won't be able to look at him.
328
00:16:33,116 --> 00:16:35,635
Maybe you should keep your eye
on the ball, Papa.
329
00:16:36,220 --> 00:16:37,511
Oh, now you're a funny man.
330
00:16:37,631 --> 00:16:39,530
This is not funny, Mr. Funny Man.
331
00:16:40,505 --> 00:16:41,841
Dr. and Mrs. Koothrappali,
332
00:16:42,053 --> 00:16:44,542
in all fairness,
it wasn't entirely Raj's fault.
333
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:46,387
This is a family matter, Sheldon.
334
00:16:46,541 --> 00:16:47,525
I'm Leonard.
335
00:16:48,422 --> 00:16:50,312
Sorry.
You all look alike to us.
336
00:16:52,248 --> 00:16:54,372
But he's right, Papa.
Listen to him.
337
00:16:55,089 --> 00:16:57,359
You! You are the one
who ruined everything.
338
00:16:57,702 --> 00:16:59,124
Who is it?
We can't see.
339
00:16:59,403 --> 00:17:00,695
Turn us.
Turn us!
340
00:17:04,075 --> 00:17:06,834
Go ahead, tell my parents
why they won't have any grandchildren.
341
00:17:07,364 --> 00:17:09,891
How would I know?
Do you have a low sperm count?
342
00:17:11,973 --> 00:17:14,029
This has nothing to do
with my sperm count.
343
00:17:14,268 --> 00:17:16,947
You are wearing the boxers
that we sent you, aren't you?
344
00:17:17,140 --> 00:17:19,111
- Yes, Mumi.
- Because you know what happens
345
00:17:19,284 --> 00:17:21,561
to the samosas
when you wear tighty-whities.
346
00:17:22,886 --> 00:17:25,003
Can we please stop talking
about my testicles?
347
00:17:25,571 --> 00:17:27,018
Sheldon, tell them what you did.
348
00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:28,293
What did I do?
349
00:17:28,844 --> 00:17:30,124
You left with his date.
350
00:17:30,655 --> 00:17:32,489
Friends don't do that to each other.
351
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:35,957
All right, noted.
352
00:17:38,220 --> 00:17:39,220
Sorry.
353
00:17:39,474 --> 00:17:41,163
Sorry?
That's all you can say is sorry?
354
00:17:41,403 --> 00:17:43,645
Take it.
It's more than I've ever gotten.
355
00:17:43,877 --> 00:17:44,866
May I point out,
356
00:17:45,024 --> 00:17:48,023
she wouldn't have asked me to go with
her if you hadn't been drunk and boring.
357
00:17:48,242 --> 00:17:50,561
- Drunk?
- And boring-- her words.
358
00:17:51,687 --> 00:17:54,397
I knew it. He moves to America
and he becomes an alcoholic.
359
00:17:54,614 --> 00:17:55,985
I'm not an alcoholic.
360
00:17:56,274 --> 00:17:57,624
Then why were you drunk?
361
00:17:58,202 --> 00:18:01,028
- It was just this one time, I swear.
- Are you in denial?
362
00:18:01,197 --> 00:18:03,219
Do we have to come over
and do an intervention?
363
00:18:03,387 --> 00:18:05,726
Don't embarrass him
in front of his friends.
364
00:18:06,136 --> 00:18:07,972
All right.
Carry us outside.
365
00:18:08,183 --> 00:18:09,972
We want to talk to you in private.
366
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:12,399
- But, Papa, please...
- Now, Rajesh!
367
00:18:16,951 --> 00:18:18,010
I have to go.
368
00:18:20,482 --> 00:18:21,582
Now, listen to me...
369
00:18:21,795 --> 00:18:23,604
At least wait till I get into the hall.
370
00:18:27,338 --> 00:18:28,548
Okay, well, good night.
371
00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:30,155
Hold on.
372
00:18:31,355 --> 00:18:33,022
What happened
with you and Lalita?
373
00:18:33,893 --> 00:18:35,884
We ate,
she lectured me
374
00:18:36,094 --> 00:18:38,100
on the link between gum disease
and heart attacks--
375
00:18:38,293 --> 00:18:40,454
nothing I didn't already know--
and I came home.
376
00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:42,823
So you're not going
to see her again?
377
00:18:43,593 --> 00:18:45,078
Why would I see her again?
378
00:18:45,439 --> 00:18:47,002
I already have a dentist.
379
00:18:52,676 --> 00:18:56,114
I wonder who's going to tell his parents
they're not having grandchildren?
380
00:19:17,672 --> 00:19:19,447
I don't believe it.
What's gotten into him?
381
00:19:19,964 --> 00:19:22,418
Oh, maybe a couple
virgin Cuba Libres
382
00:19:22,631 --> 00:19:24,926
that turned out
to be kind of slutty.
383
00:19:26,421 --> 00:19:27,443
You didn't.
384
00:19:27,683 --> 00:19:29,844
You do your experiments.
I do mine.