1
00:00:00,601 --> 00:00:03,362
So if a photon is directed
through a plane with two slits in it

2
00:00:03,485 --> 00:00:06,056
and either slit is observed,
it will not go through both slits.

3
00:00:06,178 --> 00:00:07,354
If it's unobserved, it will.

4
00:00:07,476 --> 00:00:09,635
However, if it's observed
after it's left the plane

5
00:00:09,758 --> 00:00:12,589
but before it hits its target,
it won't have gone through both slits.

6
00:00:12,753 --> 00:00:14,762
Agreed.
What's your point?

7
00:00:14,950 --> 00:00:18,140
There's no point, I just think
it's a good idea for a T-shirt.

8
00:00:23,579 --> 00:00:25,246
- Excuse me.
- Hang on.

9
00:00:29,629 --> 00:00:31,242
One across is "Aegean."

10
00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:32,759
Eight down is "Nabokov."

11
00:00:32,881 --> 00:00:35,232
26 across is "MCM."

12
00:00:35,504 --> 00:00:37,800
14 down is...
Move your finger...

13
00:00:38,687 --> 00:00:41,311
"Phylum" which makes 14 across
"Port-au-Prince"

14
00:00:42,951 --> 00:00:46,176
See, "Papa Doc's capitol idea,"
that's "Port-au-Prince."

15
00:00:47,677 --> 00:00:48,677
Haiti.

16
00:00:50,185 --> 00:00:51,771
- Can I help you?
- Yes.

17
00:00:54,673 --> 00:00:57,626
Is this the high-IQ sperm bank?

18
00:00:59,495 --> 00:01:02,188
If you have to ask,
maybe you shouldn't be here.

19
00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:04,939
I think this is the place.

20
00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:07,666
- Fill these out.
- Thank you.

21
00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:09,827
- We'll be right back.
- Take your time.

22
00:01:10,019 --> 00:01:12,178
I'll just finish my crossword puzzle.

23
00:01:13,479 --> 00:01:14,750
Oh, wait.

24
00:01:25,928 --> 00:01:27,965
Leonard, I don't think I can do this.

25
00:01:28,183 --> 00:01:30,499
What, are you kidding?
You're a semi-pro.

26
00:01:31,672 --> 00:01:34,009
No. We are committing genetic fraud.

27
00:01:34,186 --> 00:01:37,338
There's no guarantee that our sperm
is going to generate high-IQ offspring.

28
00:01:37,460 --> 00:01:40,362
Think about that. I have a sister with
the same basic DNA mix

29
00:01:40,484 --> 00:01:41,949
who hostesses at Fuddruckers.

30
00:01:43,382 --> 00:01:45,226
Sheldon, this was your idea.

31
00:01:45,473 --> 00:01:48,577
A little extra money to get fractional
T-1 bandwidth in the apartment.

32
00:01:48,699 --> 00:01:51,555
I know, and I do yearn
for faster downloads.

33
00:01:52,743 --> 00:01:55,755
But there's some poor woman
who's gonna pin her hopes on my sperm.

34
00:01:55,891 --> 00:01:58,709
What if she winds up with a toddler
who doesn't know if he should use

35
00:01:58,831 --> 00:02:02,276
an integral or a differential
to solve the area under a curve?

36
00:02:02,969 --> 00:02:05,567
- I'm sure she'll still love him.
- I wouldn't.

37
00:02:07,744 --> 00:02:09,235
Well, what do you want to do?

38
00:02:09,357 --> 00:02:10,357
I want to leave.

39
00:02:12,155 --> 00:02:13,494
What's the protocol for leaving?

40
00:02:13,847 --> 00:02:17,087
I don't know... I've never reneged
on a proffer of sperm before.

41
00:02:18,627 --> 00:02:20,076
Let's try just walking out.

42
00:02:32,238 --> 00:02:34,455
- Bye.
- Bye. Nice meeting you.

43
00:02:37,429 --> 00:02:39,151
Are you still mad about the sperm bank?

44
00:02:41,547 --> 00:02:44,459
You want to hear an interesting
thing about stairs?

45
00:02:44,927 --> 00:02:45,979
Not really.

46
00:02:46,691 --> 00:02:49,555
If the height of a single step
is off by as little as two millimeters,

47
00:02:49,692 --> 00:02:52,014
- most people will trip.
- I don't care.

48
00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:55,692
Two milli... That doesn't seem right.

49
00:02:55,814 --> 00:02:58,230
No, it's true, I did a series of
experiments when I was 12.

50
00:02:58,353 --> 00:02:59,881
My father broke his clavicle.

51
00:03:01,289 --> 00:03:03,159
Is that why they sent
you to boarding school?

52
00:03:03,281 --> 00:03:05,953
No. That was a result
of my work with lasers.

53
00:03:11,966 --> 00:03:12,991
New neighbor?

54
00:03:13,210 --> 00:03:14,210
Evidently.

55
00:03:14,661 --> 00:03:17,286
Significant improvement
over the old neighbor.

56
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:20,470
200-pound transvestite
with a skin condition?

57
00:03:20,599 --> 00:03:21,599
Yes, she is.

58
00:03:24,078 --> 00:03:25,978
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.

59
00:03:30,861 --> 00:03:33,075
We don't mean to interrupt.
We live across the hall.

60
00:03:33,317 --> 00:03:34,998
Oh, that's nice.

61
00:03:36,051 --> 00:03:37,992
We don't live together. I mean...

62
00:03:38,697 --> 00:03:39,792
We live together,

63
00:03:39,914 --> 00:03:42,892
but in separate, heterosexual bedrooms.

64
00:03:44,324 --> 00:03:45,324
Okay, well...

65
00:03:45,513 --> 00:03:47,385
Guess I'm your new neighbor. Penny.

66
00:03:47,790 --> 00:03:49,430
- Leonard. Sheldon.
- Hi.

67
00:03:53,971 --> 00:03:55,010
Well...

68
00:03:55,889 --> 00:03:57,228
Welcome to the building.

69
00:03:57,655 --> 00:03:59,824
Thank you.
Maybe we can have coffee sometime.

70
00:03:59,946 --> 00:04:01,750
Great.

71
00:04:04,796 --> 00:04:07,037
- Well... bye.
- Bye.

72
00:04:11,010 --> 00:04:12,746
Should we have invited her for lunch?

73
00:04:13,208 --> 00:04:15,818
We're gonna start season two
of Battlestar Galactica.

74
00:04:16,442 --> 00:04:18,425
We already watched the season two DVDs.

75
00:04:18,547 --> 00:04:19,720
Not with commentary.

76
00:04:22,401 --> 00:04:24,357
I think we should be good neighbors

77
00:04:24,479 --> 00:04:26,364
and invite her over,
make her feel welcome.

78
00:04:26,879 --> 00:04:29,545
We never invited
Louie-slash-Louise over.

79
00:04:30,758 --> 00:04:32,399
And that was wrong of us.

80
00:04:32,521 --> 00:04:33,969
We need to widen our circle.

81
00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:36,506
I have a very wide circle.

82
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,437
I have 212 friends on MySpace.

83
00:04:41,405 --> 00:04:43,564
Yes, and you've never met one of them.

84
00:04:44,310 --> 00:04:45,663
That's the beauty of it.

85
00:04:48,078 --> 00:04:49,677
I'm gonna invite her over.

86
00:04:50,178 --> 00:04:52,748
We'll have a nice meal and... chat.

87
00:04:52,955 --> 00:04:55,705
Chat? We don't chat.
At least not offline.

88
00:04:58,085 --> 00:04:59,413
It's not difficult.

89
00:04:59,535 --> 00:05:01,053
You just listen to what she says

90
00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:03,993
and then you say something
appropriate in response.

91
00:05:05,390 --> 00:05:06,390
To what end?

92
00:05:08,372 --> 00:05:09,976
Hi... again.

93
00:05:10,098 --> 00:05:11,971
Hi.

94
00:05:13,254 --> 00:05:14,279
Anyway...

95
00:05:14,853 --> 00:05:16,370
We brought home Indian food.

96
00:05:17,390 --> 00:05:18,390
And...

97
00:05:18,913 --> 00:05:21,087
I know that moving can be stressful,

98
00:05:21,213 --> 00:05:23,389
and I find that
when I'm undergoing stress,

99
00:05:23,511 --> 00:05:26,668
that good food and company
can have a comforting effect.

100
00:05:27,885 --> 00:05:31,030
Also, curry is a natural laxative,
and I don't have to tell you

101
00:05:31,152 --> 00:05:33,784
that, you know, a clean colon is just...

102
00:05:34,107 --> 00:05:35,898
one less thing to worry about.

103
00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:40,500
I'm no expert, but I believe
in the context of a luncheon invitation,

104
00:05:40,637 --> 00:05:43,089
you might want to skip the
reference to bowel movements.

105
00:05:43,700 --> 00:05:45,450
You're inviting me over to eat?

106
00:05:47,876 --> 00:05:49,830
Oh, that's so nice.
I'd love to.

107
00:05:50,007 --> 00:05:51,007
Great.

108
00:05:51,155 --> 00:05:53,505
So, what do you guys do
for fun around here?

109
00:05:54,296 --> 00:05:56,127
Today we tried masturbating for money.

110
00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:03,578
Episode 1: Pilot
Version 1.01

111
00:06:03,892 --> 00:06:06,694
Transcript: swsub.com
Sync by Jesslataree

112
00:06:23,971 --> 00:06:25,802
Okay, make yourself at home.

113
00:06:26,089 --> 00:06:27,089
Thank you.

114
00:06:27,414 --> 00:06:28,548
You're very welcome.

115
00:06:32,882 --> 00:06:34,620
This looks like some serious stuff.

116
00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:37,810
- Leonard, did you do this?
- Actually, that's my work.

117
00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:42,253
Yeah. Well, it's just
some quantum mechanics

118
00:06:42,376 --> 00:06:44,591
with a little string theory
doodling around the edges.

119
00:06:44,713 --> 00:06:46,210
That part there, that's just a joke.

120
00:06:46,333 --> 00:06:49,203
It's a spoof of the
Born-Oppenheimer approximation.

121
00:06:50,628 --> 00:06:53,949
So you're like one of those
Beautiful Mind genius guys.

122
00:06:57,707 --> 00:06:59,961
- This is really impressive.
- I have a board.

123
00:07:00,083 --> 00:07:02,160
If you like boards, this is my board.

124
00:07:03,255 --> 00:07:04,513
Holy smokes.

125
00:07:04,635 --> 00:07:06,098
If by "holy smokes", you mean

126
00:07:06,223 --> 00:07:08,082
a derivative restatement
of the kind of stuff

127
00:07:08,232 --> 00:07:11,269
you can find scribbled on the wall
of any men's room at MIT, sure.

128
00:07:12,174 --> 00:07:13,483
- What?
- Come on.

129
00:07:13,605 --> 00:07:17,213
Who hasn't seen this differential
below "Here I sit, broken-hearted"?

130
00:07:17,607 --> 00:07:20,137
At least I didn't have
to invent 26 dimensions

131
00:07:20,259 --> 00:07:21,527
just to make the math come out.

132
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,100
I didn't invent them. They're there.

133
00:07:23,222 --> 00:07:26,342
- In what universe?
- In all of them... that is the point.

134
00:07:27,374 --> 00:07:28,782
Do you guys mind if I start?

135
00:07:29,383 --> 00:07:30,383
Penny...

136
00:07:31,246 --> 00:07:32,517
that's where l sit.

137
00:07:34,519 --> 00:07:35,681
So, sit next to me.

138
00:07:37,504 --> 00:07:38,925
No... I sit there.

139
00:07:40,577 --> 00:07:41,588
What's the difference?

140
00:07:41,724 --> 00:07:43,789
- What's the difference?
- Here we go.

141
00:07:44,584 --> 00:07:46,894
In the winter, that seat is
close enough to the radiator

142
00:07:47,017 --> 00:07:49,863
to remain warm, and yet not so
close as to cause perspiration

143
00:07:50,013 --> 00:07:52,378
In the summer, it's directly
in the path of a cross-breeze

144
00:07:52,528 --> 00:07:54,443
created by opening
windows there and there.

145
00:07:54,607 --> 00:07:56,186
It faces the television at an angle

146
00:07:56,308 --> 00:07:58,745
that is neither direct,
thus discouraging conversation,

147
00:07:58,905 --> 00:08:01,313
nor so far wide as to create
a parallax distortion.

148
00:08:01,435 --> 00:08:04,647
I could go on, but I think
I've made my point.

149
00:08:07,916 --> 00:08:09,201
Do you want me to move?

150
00:08:09,338 --> 00:08:11,237
- Well...
- Just sit somewhere else.

151
00:08:13,513 --> 00:08:14,513
Fine.

152
00:08:32,737 --> 00:08:33,803
Sheldon, sit!

153
00:08:39,430 --> 00:08:40,755
Well, this is nice.

154
00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:42,552
We don't have a lot of company over.

155
00:08:42,675 --> 00:08:45,390
That's not true. Koothrappali
and Wolowitz come over all the time.

156
00:08:45,513 --> 00:08:46,907
- I know, but...
- Tuesday night,

157
00:08:47,030 --> 00:08:48,766
we played Klingon Boggle
till 1:00 a.m.

158
00:08:48,888 --> 00:08:49,894
Yeah, I remember.

159
00:08:50,020 --> 00:08:51,855
- Don't say we don't have company.
- Sorry.

160
00:08:51,977 --> 00:08:54,885
- That has negative social implications.
- I said I'm sorry!

161
00:08:56,032 --> 00:08:57,032
So...

162
00:08:57,317 --> 00:08:58,493
Klingon Boggle?

163
00:08:58,926 --> 00:09:01,249
Yeah. It's like regular Boggle, but...

164
00:09:01,390 --> 00:09:02,525
in Klingon.

165
00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:08,842
That's probably enough about us.
So, tell us about you.

166
00:09:09,745 --> 00:09:10,962
Me? Okay.

167
00:09:11,453 --> 00:09:12,797
I'm a Sagittarius,

168
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,234
which probably tells you
way more than you need to know.

169
00:09:15,371 --> 00:09:18,528
Yes. It tells us that you participate
in the mass cultural delusion

170
00:09:18,650 --> 00:09:19,934
that the sun's apparent position

171
00:09:20,057 --> 00:09:22,996
relative to arbitrarily defined
constellations at the time of your birth

172
00:09:23,119 --> 00:09:24,939
somehow affects your personality.

173
00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:29,033
Participate in the what?

174
00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:31,426
I think
what Sheldon's trying to say

175
00:09:31,549 --> 00:09:34,447
is that Sagittarius wouldn't have been
our first guess.

176
00:09:34,912 --> 00:09:37,098
Yeah, a lot of people
think I'm a water sign.

177
00:09:37,863 --> 00:09:39,678
Okay, let's see, what else.

178
00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:41,836
I'm a vegetarian.
Except for fish.

179
00:09:41,958 --> 00:09:44,008
And the occasional steak. I love steak!

180
00:09:46,654 --> 00:09:47,733
Well, that's interesting.

181
00:09:48,061 --> 00:09:49,884
Leonard can't process corn.

182
00:09:54,168 --> 00:09:56,423
Well... do you have some sort of a job?

183
00:09:57,470 --> 00:09:59,616
I'm a waitress
at The Cheesecake Factory.

184
00:10:00,204 --> 00:10:01,477
I love cheesecake.

185
00:10:01,599 --> 00:10:02,656
You're lactose-intolerant.

186
00:10:02,779 --> 00:10:05,217
I don't eat it...
I just think it's a good idea.

187
00:10:06,372 --> 00:10:08,656
Anyways, I'm also writing a screenplay.

188
00:10:08,778 --> 00:10:11,853
It's about this sensitive girl who comes
to L.A. from Lincoln, Nebraska,

189
00:10:11,975 --> 00:10:15,499
to be an actress and winds up
a waitress at The Cheesecake Factory.

190
00:10:17,125 --> 00:10:18,888
So, it's based on your life.

191
00:10:19,070 --> 00:10:20,163
No, I'm from Omaha.

192
00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:26,472
If that was movie, I would go see it.

193
00:10:26,594 --> 00:10:27,633
I know, right?

194
00:10:28,119 --> 00:10:29,937
Okay, let's see, what else...

195
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:33,005
Guess that's about it.

196
00:10:33,561 --> 00:10:35,010
That's the story of Penny.

197
00:10:36,189 --> 00:10:37,706
It sounds wonderful.

198
00:10:39,076 --> 00:10:40,076
It was.

199
00:10:40,699 --> 00:10:43,167
Until I fell in love with a jerk!

200
00:10:46,952 --> 00:10:47,991
What's happening?

201
00:10:50,994 --> 00:10:53,304
God, you know,
4 years I lived with him.

202
00:10:53,426 --> 00:10:56,374
4 years... that's like
as long as high school.

203
00:10:56,496 --> 00:10:58,505
It took you 4 years
to get through high school?

204
00:11:01,192 --> 00:11:03,994
It just... I can't believe
I trusted him.

205
00:11:08,944 --> 00:11:11,554
Should I say something?
I feel like I should say something.

206
00:11:11,677 --> 00:11:13,372
You? No, you'll only make it worse.

207
00:11:13,523 --> 00:11:15,648
You want to know the most pathetic part?

208
00:11:15,819 --> 00:11:18,812
Even though I hate
his lying, cheating guts...

209
00:11:19,536 --> 00:11:21,074
I still love him.

210
00:11:22,099 --> 00:11:23,099
Is that crazy?

211
00:11:26,667 --> 00:11:29,073
No, it's not crazy. It's a...

212
00:11:30,032 --> 00:11:31,522
It's a paradox.

213
00:11:31,777 --> 00:11:35,276
Paradoxes are part of nature.
Think about light.

214
00:11:35,398 --> 00:11:37,872
If you look at Huygens, light is a wave,

215
00:11:37,994 --> 00:11:39,831
as confirmed
by the double-slit experiments,

216
00:11:39,953 --> 00:11:42,251
but then along comes Albert Einstein

217
00:11:42,373 --> 00:11:45,628
and discovers that light
behaves like particles, too.

218
00:11:48,219 --> 00:11:49,873
Well, I didn't make it worse.

219
00:11:52,246 --> 00:11:54,296
I'm so sorry. I'm such a mess.

220
00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:56,852
On top of everything else,
I'm all gross from moving

221
00:11:56,975 --> 00:11:58,561
and my stupid shower doesn't even work.

222
00:11:58,683 --> 00:11:59,749
Our shower works.

223
00:12:01,592 --> 00:12:03,544
Really? Would it be totally
weird if I used it?

224
00:12:03,666 --> 00:12:04,896
- Yes.
- No.

225
00:12:07,862 --> 00:12:09,239
It's right down the hall.

226
00:12:09,519 --> 00:12:10,519
Thanks.

227
00:12:10,778 --> 00:12:12,213
You guys are really sweet.

228
00:12:18,928 --> 00:12:21,374
Well, this is an
interesting development.

229
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:25,411
How so?

230
00:12:25,573 --> 00:12:27,720
It has been some time
since we've had a woman

231
00:12:27,842 --> 00:12:29,523
take her clothes off in our apartment.

232
00:12:30,329 --> 00:12:32,146
That's not true.
Remember at Thanksgiving,

233
00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:34,703
my grandmother with Alzheimer's
had that episode?

234
00:12:36,816 --> 00:12:38,511
Point taken.
It has been some time

235
00:12:38,634 --> 00:12:40,479
since we've had a woman
take her clothes off,

236
00:12:40,602 --> 00:12:42,928
after which we didn't
want to rip our eyes out.

237
00:12:44,319 --> 00:12:47,216
The worst part was watching
her carve that turkey.

238
00:12:48,255 --> 00:12:51,112
So what exactly are you
trying to accomplish here?

239
00:12:52,048 --> 00:12:53,116
Excuse me?

240
00:12:53,389 --> 00:12:55,426
That woman is not
going to have sex with you.

241
00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:57,918
I'm not trying to have sex with her.

242
00:12:58,050 --> 00:13:00,045
Good. Then you won't be disappointed.

243
00:13:01,346 --> 00:13:03,630
What makes you think she
wouldn't have sex with me?

244
00:13:03,752 --> 00:13:05,678
I'm a male and she's a female.

245
00:13:06,159 --> 00:13:08,318
Yes, but not of the same species.

246
00:13:09,314 --> 00:13:11,652
I'm not going to engage
in hypotheticals here.

247
00:13:11,774 --> 00:13:13,524
I'm just trying to be a good neighbor.

248
00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:15,000
Of course.

249
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:18,596
That's not to say that if a carnal
relationship were to develop,

250
00:13:18,718 --> 00:13:20,265
that I wouldn't participate.

251
00:13:22,620 --> 00:13:23,748
However briefly.

252
00:13:25,315 --> 00:13:27,631
Do you think this possibility
will be helped or hindered

253
00:13:27,768 --> 00:13:31,184
when she discovers your Luke Skywalker
no-more-tears shampoo?

254
00:13:32,448 --> 00:13:33,870
It's Darth Vader shampoo.

255
00:13:35,836 --> 00:13:37,749
Luke Skywalker's the conditioner.

256
00:13:40,346 --> 00:13:43,066
- Wait till you see this.
- It's fantastic, unbelievable.

257
00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:44,189
See what?

258
00:13:45,426 --> 00:13:49,555
It's a Stephen Hawking lecture
from MIT in 1974.

259
00:13:49,677 --> 00:13:50,767
This isn't a good time.

260
00:13:50,889 --> 00:13:53,937
It's before he became
a creepy computer voice.

261
00:13:57,312 --> 00:13:59,254
- That's great. You guys have to go.
- Why?

262
00:13:59,376 --> 00:14:00,573
It's just not a good time.

263
00:14:00,696 --> 00:14:02,287
Leonard has a lady over.

264
00:14:02,902 --> 00:14:05,389
Yeah, right... your
grandmother back in town?

265
00:14:08,669 --> 00:14:11,198
And she's not a lady.
She's just a new neighbor.

266
00:14:11,479 --> 00:14:13,884
Hang on, there really is a lady here?

267
00:14:15,081 --> 00:14:18,101
And you want us out because
you're anticipating coitus?

268
00:14:18,605 --> 00:14:20,249
I'm not anticipating coitus.

269
00:14:20,371 --> 00:14:21,668
So she's available for coitus?

270
00:14:21,790 --> 00:14:24,162
Can we please just stop saying "coitus"?

271
00:14:24,284 --> 00:14:27,065
Technically, that would
be"coitus interruptus. "

272
00:14:27,773 --> 00:14:30,834
Hey, is there a trick to getting it
to switch from tub to shower...?

273
00:14:31,439 --> 00:14:33,450
Hi. Sorry.
Hello.

274
00:14:35,569 --> 00:14:37,141
<i>Enchanté, mademoiselle.</i>

275
00:14:39,453 --> 00:14:42,529
Howard Wolowitz,
Caltech department of applied physics.

276
00:14:42,651 --> 00:14:44,783
You may be familiar
with some of my work.

277
00:14:44,905 --> 00:14:47,412
It's currently orbiting
Jupiter's largest moon

278
00:14:47,534 --> 00:14:49,966
taking high-resolution
digital photographs.

279
00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:53,368
Penny. I work at The Cheesecake Factory.

280
00:14:53,951 --> 00:14:55,782
I'll show you the trick with the shower.

281
00:14:56,318 --> 00:14:57,318
<i>Bonne douche.</i>

282
00:14:58,066 --> 00:14:59,460
I'm sorry?

283
00:14:59,639 --> 00:15:01,444
It's French for "good shower. "

284
00:15:01,566 --> 00:15:04,245
It's a sentiment I can express
in six languages.

285
00:15:05,125 --> 00:15:06,833
Save it for your blog, Howard.

286
00:15:14,931 --> 00:15:17,244
All right, there it goes.
It sticks. I'm sorry.

287
00:15:17,366 --> 00:15:18,914
- Okay, thanks.
- You're welcome.

288
00:15:19,036 --> 00:15:21,079
You're just gonna
to step right... Okay, I'll...

289
00:15:22,067 --> 00:15:24,719
- Hey, Leonard?
- The hair products are Sheldon's.

290
00:15:26,966 --> 00:15:28,575
Can I ask you a favor?

291
00:15:28,705 --> 00:15:29,705
A favor?

292
00:15:30,331 --> 00:15:33,433
Sure, you can ask me a favor.
I would do you a favor for you.

293
00:15:34,376 --> 00:15:35,764
It's okay if you say no.

294
00:15:35,985 --> 00:15:37,506
I'll probably say yes.

295
00:15:38,770 --> 00:15:42,063
It's just not the kind of thing
you ask a guy you just met.

296
00:15:48,801 --> 00:15:51,863
I really think we should examine
the chain of causality here.

297
00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:53,369
- Must we?
- Event A...

298
00:15:53,489 --> 00:15:55,600
A beautiful woman
stands naked in our shower.

299
00:15:55,733 --> 00:15:59,132
Event B... we drive halfway across town
to retrieve a television set

300
00:15:59,269 --> 00:16:01,149
from the aforementioned
woman's ex-boyfriend.

301
00:16:01,336 --> 00:16:03,429
Query... on what plane of existence

302
00:16:03,551 --> 00:16:06,762
is there even a semi-rational
link between these events?

303
00:16:07,922 --> 00:16:10,222
She asked me to do her a favor, Sheldon.

304
00:16:10,567 --> 00:16:13,067
Yes, well, that may be
the proximal cause of our journey,

305
00:16:13,190 --> 00:16:15,581
but we both know it only exists
in contradistinction

306
00:16:15,703 --> 00:16:17,563
to the higher level distal cause.

307
00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:19,934
- Which is?
- You think with your penis.

308
00:16:21,246 --> 00:16:24,761
That's a biological impossibility.
And you didn't have to come.

309
00:16:24,883 --> 00:16:27,895
Right, I could have stayed behind
and watch Wolowitz try to hit on Penny

310
00:16:28,018 --> 00:16:29,576
in Russian, Arabic and Farsi.

311
00:16:30,533 --> 00:16:32,255
Why can't she get her own TV?

312
00:16:32,446 --> 00:16:34,315
Come on, you know
how it is with breakups.

313
00:16:34,437 --> 00:16:36,548
No, I don't... and neither do you.

314
00:16:37,757 --> 00:16:39,221
I broke up with Joyce Kim.

315
00:16:39,343 --> 00:16:42,596
You did not break up with Joyce Kim.
She defected to North Korea.

316
00:16:42,883 --> 00:16:44,558
To mend her broken heart.

317
00:16:48,035 --> 00:16:50,686
This situation is much less complicated.

318
00:16:50,852 --> 00:16:53,436
There's some kind of dispute
between Penny and her ex-boyfriend

319
00:16:53,559 --> 00:16:55,171
as to who gets custody of the TV.

320
00:16:55,417 --> 00:16:57,434
She just wanted to avoid
having a scene with him.

321
00:16:57,556 --> 00:17:01,539
- So we get to have a scene with him?
- No, there's not going to be a scene.

322
00:17:01,908 --> 00:17:03,603
There's two of us and one of him.

323
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:06,486
Leonard, the two of us
can't even carry a TV.

324
00:17:08,635 --> 00:17:11,519
So, you guys work with Leonard
and Sheldon at the university?

325
00:17:17,306 --> 00:17:19,312
I'm sorry, do you speak English?

326
00:17:20,149 --> 00:17:22,838
He speaks English.
He just can't speak to women.

327
00:17:23,723 --> 00:17:24,994
Really? Why?

328
00:17:25,472 --> 00:17:26,798
He's kind of a nerd.

329
00:17:29,774 --> 00:17:30,774
Juice box?

330
00:17:36,063 --> 00:17:37,183
I'll do the talking.

331
00:17:37,662 --> 00:17:40,471
<i>- Yeah?
- Hi, I'm Leonard, this is Sheldon.</i>

332
00:17:40,639 --> 00:17:42,217
- Hello.
- What did I just--

333
00:17:44,517 --> 00:17:47,350
<i>- We're here to pick up Penny's TV.
- Get lost.</i>

334
00:17:47,472 --> 00:17:48,647
Okay, thanks for you time.

335
00:17:49,220 --> 00:17:51,109
We're not going
to give up just like that.

336
00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:52,638
Leonard, the TV's in the building.

337
00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:55,556
We've been denied access
to the building, ergo, we are done.

338
00:17:55,803 --> 00:17:58,683
Excuse me. If I were to give up
on the first little hitch,

339
00:17:58,806 --> 00:18:01,450
I never would have identified
the fingerprints of string theory

340
00:18:01,572 --> 00:18:03,362
in the aftermath of the Big Bang.

341
00:18:04,703 --> 00:18:06,778
My apologies. What's your plan?

342
00:18:20,981 --> 00:18:23,510
It's just a privilege to watch
your mind at work.

343
00:18:24,705 --> 00:18:27,412
Come on, we have a combined IQ of 360.

344
00:18:27,534 --> 00:18:30,422
We should be able to figure out
how to get into a stupid building.

345
00:18:34,552 --> 00:18:36,151
What do you think their combined IQ is?

346
00:18:36,274 --> 00:18:37,274
Just grab the door!

347
00:18:39,998 --> 00:18:40,998
This is it.

348
00:18:42,559 --> 00:18:43,694
I'll do the talking.

349
00:18:43,947 --> 00:18:46,121
Good thinking.
I'll just be the muscle.

350
00:18:53,776 --> 00:18:54,776
Yeah?

351
00:18:54,970 --> 00:18:56,637
I'm Leonard, this is Sheldon.

352
00:18:57,102 --> 00:18:58,114
From the intercom.

353
00:19:00,150 --> 00:19:01,858
How the hell did you get
in the building?

354
00:19:03,265 --> 00:19:04,686
We're scientists.

355
00:19:07,064 --> 00:19:08,458
Tell him about our IQ.

356
00:19:21,367 --> 00:19:23,025
- Leonard...
- What?

357
00:19:23,147 --> 00:19:25,542
- My mom bought me those pants.
- I'm sorry.

358
00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:28,865
You're going to have to call her.

359
00:19:31,635 --> 00:19:34,410
Sheldon, I am so sorry
I dragged you through this.

360
00:19:34,661 --> 00:19:38,329
It's okay. It wasn't my first pantsing
and it won't be my last.

361
00:19:39,258 --> 00:19:40,722
And you were right about my motives.

362
00:19:40,844 --> 00:19:44,207
I was hoping to establish
a relationship with Penny

363
00:19:44,329 --> 00:19:46,337
that might have someday led to sex.

364
00:19:47,625 --> 00:19:49,402
Well, you got me out of my pants.

365
00:19:51,568 --> 00:19:53,249
Anyway, I've learned my lesson.

366
00:19:53,427 --> 00:19:55,205
She's out of my league,
I'm done with her.

367
00:19:55,327 --> 00:19:58,252
Got my work, one day
I'll win the Nobel Prize

368
00:19:58,374 --> 00:19:59,528
and then I'll die alone.

369
00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:02,653
Don't think like that.
You're not going to die alone.

370
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:05,203
Thank you, Sheldon.
You're a good friend.

371
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,990
And you're certainly not
going to win a Nobel Prize.

372
00:20:10,537 --> 00:20:14,105
This is one of my favorite places
to kick back after a quest.

373
00:20:14,445 --> 00:20:15,869
They have a great house ale.

374
00:20:16,464 --> 00:20:17,592
Cool tiger.

375
00:20:17,714 --> 00:20:19,679
Yeah, I've had him since level ten.

376
00:20:20,828 --> 00:20:22,154
His name is Buttons.

377
00:20:23,169 --> 00:20:25,399
Anyway, if you had
your own game character

378
00:20:25,521 --> 00:20:27,816
we could hang out, maybe go on a quest.

379
00:20:28,625 --> 00:20:30,606
That sounds interesting.

380
00:20:30,973 --> 00:20:31,985
You'll think about it?

381
00:20:32,313 --> 00:20:34,838
I don't think I'll be able
to stop thinking about it.

382
00:20:36,811 --> 00:20:37,863
Smooth.

383
00:20:40,203 --> 00:20:41,203
We're home.

384
00:20:41,793 --> 00:20:43,406
My God, what happened?

385
00:20:43,584 --> 00:20:45,641
Well, your ex-boyfriend
sends his regards

386
00:20:45,763 --> 00:20:48,537
and I think the rest
is fairly self-explanatory.

387
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:52,515
I'm so sorry. I really thought
if you guys went instead of me

388
00:20:52,638 --> 00:20:53,897
he wouldn't be such an ass.

389
00:20:54,019 --> 00:20:56,006
No, it was a valid hypothesis.

390
00:20:56,128 --> 00:20:58,793
That was a valid...?
What is happening to you?

391
00:20:59,930 --> 00:21:03,516
Really, thank you so much
for going and trying, you're just...

392
00:21:04,267 --> 00:21:07,042
You're so terrific. Really.

393
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:09,809
Why don't you put some clothes on,

394
00:21:09,931 --> 00:21:12,063
I'll get my purse,
and dinner is on me, okay?

395
00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:13,397
- Really? Great.
- Thank you.

396
00:21:19,933 --> 00:21:21,873
You're not done with her, are you?

397
00:21:23,279 --> 00:21:25,548
Are babies will be smart and beautiful.

398
00:21:28,258 --> 00:21:29,761
Not to mention imaginary.

399
00:21:35,754 --> 00:21:37,626
- Is Thai food okay with you, Penny?
- Sure.

400
00:21:37,748 --> 00:21:38,754
We can't have Thai food,

401
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:40,517
- we had Indian for lunch.
- So?

402
00:21:40,874 --> 00:21:43,223
- They're both curry-based cuisines.
- So?

403
00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:45,205
It would be gastronomically redundant.

404
00:21:45,452 --> 00:21:49,248
I can see we're going to have
to spell out everything for this girl.

405
00:21:49,753 --> 00:21:50,970
Any ideas, Raj?

406
00:21:53,439 --> 00:21:55,602
Turn left on Lake Street
and head up to Colorado.

407
00:21:55,724 --> 00:21:58,477
I know a wonderful
little sushi bar that has karaoke.

408
00:21:58,603 --> 00:21:59,805
That sounds like fun.

409
00:22:13,239 --> 00:22:15,535
I don't know what your odds
are in the world as a whole,

410
00:22:15,672 --> 00:22:17,634
but as far as the population
of this car goes,

411
00:22:17,756 --> 00:22:19,424
you're a veritable mack daddy.