1
00:00:00,965 --> 00:00:02,882
Previously, on
"The Big Bang Theory"...
2
00:00:02,983 --> 00:00:06,578
Uh, we sort of have another
reason for asking you here.
3
00:00:07,192 --> 00:00:08,849
We want to have a baby,
4
00:00:09,074 --> 00:00:11,067
but we can't do it
on our own.
5
00:00:11,153 --> 00:00:12,263
Okay, whoa, whoa.
6
00:00:12,349 --> 00:00:13,281
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
7
00:00:13,367 --> 00:00:14,898
Yeah, this has been
such a nice evening.
8
00:00:14,984 --> 00:00:17,794
Let's all just stop before
anyone says any more things.
9
00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:19,342
Leonard, would you be
the father of our baby?
10
00:00:19,427 --> 00:00:21,523
Oh, you said a thing.
11
00:00:24,078 --> 00:00:26,354
Thank you, guys, again
for agreeing to do this.
12
00:00:26,507 --> 00:00:28,757
Yeah, it means
so much to us.
13
00:00:28,843 --> 00:00:29,969
Ah, we're happy
we can help.
14
00:00:30,055 --> 00:00:32,625
Yeah, and we don't find it
weird at all.
15
00:00:33,062 --> 00:00:34,750
It's a little weird
for us, too.
16
00:00:34,836 --> 00:00:36,961
I mean, instead of our baby
looking like Zack,
17
00:00:37,070 --> 00:00:39,278
it's gonna look
like Leonard.
18
00:00:40,192 --> 00:00:42,156
Or Penny if it's a girl.
19
00:00:44,718 --> 00:00:46,422
No, no,
it's not gonna look...
20
00:00:47,991 --> 00:00:49,294
Sure.
21
00:00:50,382 --> 00:00:51,423
But I promise,
22
00:00:51,508 --> 00:00:53,742
we're gonna be really good parents.
Mm-hmm.
23
00:00:53,944 --> 00:00:55,593
Oh, we know you will.
24
00:00:55,765 --> 00:00:57,351
- So, what is the next step?
- Yeah.
25
00:00:57,546 --> 00:00:59,640
Well, Leonard, we were hoping
you'd go in on Monday.
26
00:00:59,733 --> 00:01:01,015
- Okay.
- And they say,
27
00:01:01,101 --> 00:01:02,781
for the best results,
between now and then,
28
00:01:02,882 --> 00:01:04,031
you shouldn't have sex.
29
00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:05,266
Sorry, bro,
30
00:01:05,352 --> 00:01:07,661
I know it seems impossible
to go for five days without,
31
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:09,586
but I believe in you.
32
00:01:10,359 --> 00:01:13,117
Five days?
My record is 24 years.
33
00:01:15,047 --> 00:01:17,320
Uh, I think that also means
no flying solo.
34
00:01:17,406 --> 00:01:18,406
Oh.
35
00:01:18,804 --> 00:01:20,953
Then my record is 14 years.
36
00:01:21,578 --> 00:01:23,953
And, well, we're really
hoping for a son.
37
00:01:24,039 --> 00:01:26,179
So just, like, keep that in mind
when you're in there.
38
00:01:26,301 --> 00:01:30,609
Yeah, just think,
"Little boys, little boys."
39
00:01:32,976 --> 00:01:35,187
Still just
totally not weird.
40
00:01:36,389 --> 00:01:37,882
- Hello.
- Oh, hey, Sheldon.
41
00:01:37,968 --> 00:01:39,079
We're kind of
in the middle of something.
42
00:01:39,164 --> 00:01:41,342
Oh, I won't be a moment.
I just need to grab a book
43
00:01:41,427 --> 00:01:42,909
off a high shelf, which I can do
44
00:01:42,995 --> 00:01:45,320
because I am both
tall and smart.
45
00:01:47,242 --> 00:01:48,984
Sheldon, come home!
46
00:01:49,070 --> 00:01:51,304
They don't want
to have your baby!
47
00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:53,164
I don't know
what you're talking about.
48
00:01:53,250 --> 00:01:55,586
Oh-oh, dear, I think
I got something in my eye.
49
00:01:55,672 --> 00:01:57,878
My piercing, blue eye.
50
00:01:58,798 --> 00:02:00,875
Sheldon!
Fine.
51
00:02:02,062 --> 00:02:04,922
I've also never had a cavity
and I don't have asthma...
52
00:02:05,294 --> 00:02:08,742
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
53
00:02:08,828 --> 00:02:12,461
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
54
00:02:12,547 --> 00:02:13,984
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
55
00:02:14,069 --> 00:02:16,921
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
56
00:02:17,007 --> 00:02:18,820
♪ We built the Wall ♪
We built the pyramids ♪
57
00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:21,797
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
58
00:02:21,883 --> 00:02:23,820
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
59
00:02:23,906 --> 00:02:25,687
♪ Bang! ♪
*THE BIG BANG THEORY*
Season 12 Episode 15
60
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,905
Episode Title :
"The Donation Oscillation"
61
00:02:33,093 --> 00:02:36,396
So, this week
would have been my wedding
62
00:02:36,539 --> 00:02:39,594
if Anu and I hadn't decided
to slow things down.
63
00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:42,609
Oh, yeah, I would have
forgotten, except for those
64
00:02:42,706 --> 00:02:45,375
nonrefundable airline tickets
to India I bought.
65
00:02:45,461 --> 00:02:46,551
I'm sorry.
66
00:02:46,652 --> 00:02:50,219
No, no. What's $3,000
between friends?
67
00:02:50,773 --> 00:02:52,055
Yeah, I probably
would've just
68
00:02:52,141 --> 00:02:54,945
thrown it away on health care
for my children.
69
00:02:56,078 --> 00:02:58,202
Uh, if you still want to go,
you can go to India
70
00:02:58,287 --> 00:03:00,961
and help my dad eat
all the nonrefundable sushi.
71
00:03:02,055 --> 00:03:03,344
Indian sushi?
72
00:03:03,430 --> 00:03:05,805
I need a change of underwear
just thinking about that.
73
00:03:06,719 --> 00:03:09,517
I really think
we made the right decision.
74
00:03:09,742 --> 00:03:11,867
Agreed, although
I did have
75
00:03:11,953 --> 00:03:14,435
a pretty awesome bachelor party
planned for this weekend.
76
00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:15,436
Really? What was it?
77
00:03:15,521 --> 00:03:17,031
Well, I used my NASA connections
78
00:03:17,117 --> 00:03:18,969
to get us four seats
on that plane
79
00:03:19,055 --> 00:03:21,094
that lets you experience
weightlessness.
80
00:03:21,196 --> 00:03:24,359
The Vomit Comet.
That is so cool.
81
00:03:24,445 --> 00:03:26,828
I've always wanted
to experience weightlessness.
82
00:03:26,937 --> 00:03:28,623
The closest I ever came
was that time
83
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,539
I accidentally set my scale
to kilograms.
84
00:03:34,101 --> 00:03:35,914
I know, it would've
been fun, but, hey,
85
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,680
the next time you decide to
marry a woman you barely know.
86
00:03:39,661 --> 00:03:41,125
We could still go.
87
00:03:41,437 --> 00:03:43,290
You know, make it
a guys' weekend.
88
00:03:43,437 --> 00:03:45,585
Yeah.
All right, let's do it.
89
00:03:45,671 --> 00:03:48,187
Great. It'll be like
the good old days.
90
00:03:48,273 --> 00:03:51,859
You mean when we were all sad,
desperate and horribly alone?
91
00:03:53,402 --> 00:03:55,578
I remember it more fondly.
92
00:03:59,047 --> 00:04:00,922
Leonard, if you had
food on your face,
93
00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:02,414
would you want me
to tell you?
94
00:04:03,531 --> 00:04:05,359
Where?
Did I get it?
95
00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:07,703
Oh, no, not now;
it was last week.
96
00:04:08,811 --> 00:04:10,181
I didn't know
whether or not to tell you,
97
00:04:10,266 --> 00:04:12,052
but everyone was staring.
98
00:04:12,367 --> 00:04:14,453
For the record,
it was right there.
99
00:04:15,167 --> 00:04:17,289
And it was Nutella.
100
00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:18,680
Thanks.
101
00:04:18,766 --> 00:04:20,724
You looked like
a hazelnut Hitler.
102
00:04:22,780 --> 00:04:25,578
Hey, who wants to hear
some exciting news?
103
00:04:25,664 --> 00:04:27,243
- Oh, what's up?
- This weekend, I got us
104
00:04:27,328 --> 00:04:29,467
four seats
on the Vomit Comet.
105
00:04:29,552 --> 00:04:32,539
Oh, you lost me at "vomit,"
you lost me again at "comet,"
106
00:04:32,625 --> 00:04:35,210
and to be honest,
I was on the fence at "us."
107
00:04:36,149 --> 00:04:38,601
Yeah, I can't go either.
Penny's dad is visiting
108
00:04:38,687 --> 00:04:40,608
from Nebraska, and I haven't
seen him for a while.
109
00:04:40,693 --> 00:04:42,851
Oh, that's nice
you guys get along.
110
00:04:42,937 --> 00:04:46,023
I forget, Howard, does your
father-in-law still hate you?
111
00:04:47,984 --> 00:04:49,320
He doesn't hate me.
112
00:04:49,406 --> 00:04:50,765
He's just disappointed
113
00:04:50,851 --> 00:04:53,672
that I'm not
any other man on the planet.
114
00:04:54,650 --> 00:04:57,992
That's how I feel about
Ben Affleck as Batman.
115
00:04:59,203 --> 00:05:00,237
Well, these two are out.
116
00:05:00,322 --> 00:05:01,711
There goes
our guys' weekend.
117
00:05:01,851 --> 00:05:04,039
Okay, so let's make it
a couples' weekend.
118
00:05:04,125 --> 00:05:05,372
I'll bring Anu,
you bring Bernadette.
119
00:05:05,457 --> 00:05:06,634
I'm not sure
Bernie would like it.
120
00:05:06,719 --> 00:05:08,636
Maybe I'll invite
Stuart or Bert.
121
00:05:08,721 --> 00:05:09,969
Oh, go with Bert!
122
00:05:10,055 --> 00:05:12,883
He's huge. It'd be fun to
watch him float around.
123
00:05:13,987 --> 00:05:15,643
Like that time the
Underdog balloon
124
00:05:15,728 --> 00:05:17,711
got away at the
Macy's Parade.
125
00:05:21,608 --> 00:05:22,898
Hey. What are those?
126
00:05:22,984 --> 00:05:24,130
Oh, vitamins.
127
00:05:24,215 --> 00:05:27,062
Zack wants me to take them
to increase my virility.
128
00:05:28,133 --> 00:05:30,351
Zack used the word "virility"?
129
00:05:32,226 --> 00:05:34,711
He may have said
"wiener power."
130
00:05:36,734 --> 00:05:38,047
Okay, that's my dad.
131
00:05:38,133 --> 00:05:40,537
Now, remember, do not bring up
any baby stuff, all right?
132
00:05:40,623 --> 00:05:42,634
Not me not wanting one,
not you having one with Zack.
133
00:05:42,719 --> 00:05:44,485
Got it. And if he brings it up,
change the subject
134
00:05:44,570 --> 00:05:46,203
to literally anything else.
I got it.
135
00:05:46,289 --> 00:05:49,523
But not the Cornhuskers.
Do not discuss the Cornhuskers.
136
00:05:49,851 --> 00:05:51,687
Is that a sports team?
137
00:05:52,547 --> 00:05:54,078
Never mind, you're good.
138
00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:56,641
- Daddy!
- Hi.Hey, Slugger.
139
00:05:56,735 --> 00:05:58,859
Aw.
140
00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:01,281
Hey, Wyatt.
Leonard.
141
00:06:01,367 --> 00:06:03,297
Hey, that's a hell
of a handshake.
142
00:06:03,383 --> 00:06:06,127
Ah, well, you know,
I've been taking vitamins.
143
00:06:07,219 --> 00:06:09,175
Dad, uh, come on in,
sit down.
144
00:06:09,260 --> 00:06:11,398
Can I get you something
to drink? Maybe a beer?
145
00:06:11,484 --> 00:06:12,961
- Sure, if you're having one.
- Okay.
146
00:06:13,047 --> 00:06:15,242
And why wouldn't you,
since you're not pregnant?
147
00:06:17,414 --> 00:06:18,695
Um...
148
00:06:19,401 --> 00:06:22,320
Leonard wants to have a baby
with my ex-boyfriend Zack.
149
00:06:28,414 --> 00:06:30,562
How 'bout those Cornhuskers?
150
00:06:34,101 --> 00:06:38,078
Hey, would you mind if Raj
and I went away this weekend?
151
00:06:38,168 --> 00:06:41,641
Well, it is important for you
two to keep the spark alive.
152
00:06:42,547 --> 00:06:45,167
No, just the bachelor party
I had planned.
153
00:06:45,252 --> 00:06:46,672
I thought we'd do it anyway.
154
00:06:46,758 --> 00:06:48,153
Oh, so a guys' weekend?
155
00:06:48,330 --> 00:06:50,347
Kinda. I mean, Sheldon
and Leonard couldn't make it,
156
00:06:50,432 --> 00:06:52,805
so Raj invited Anu
and I asked Stuart.
157
00:06:54,436 --> 00:06:56,859
Wait, you invited Stuart
before me?
158
00:06:56,945 --> 00:06:58,633
Actually, I invited Bert
before Stuart,
159
00:06:58,744 --> 00:07:00,922
but I don't know why
I just told you that.
160
00:07:01,687 --> 00:07:03,141
Why didn't you invite me?
161
00:07:03,234 --> 00:07:05,666
Because
I know you.
162
00:07:05,751 --> 00:07:08,914
You don't want to float
weightless in an airplane.
163
00:07:09,233 --> 00:07:10,367
What are you
talking about?
164
00:07:10,452 --> 00:07:11,851
I love doing crazy
stuff like that.
165
00:07:11,937 --> 00:07:15,562
Bernie, you got sick from
the teacup ride at Disneyland.
166
00:07:16,117 --> 00:07:17,406
Lots of people do.
167
00:07:17,492 --> 00:07:19,461
We were still in line.
168
00:07:20,242 --> 00:07:21,648
So you don't want me to go?
169
00:07:21,734 --> 00:07:24,625
No, I want you to go
if you're gonna have fun.
170
00:07:24,711 --> 00:07:26,681
I don't want you to go
if you're gonna be miserable
171
00:07:26,766 --> 00:07:28,768
and ruin it for everyone.
172
00:07:29,871 --> 00:07:31,778
Which is a long way of saying
173
00:07:31,864 --> 00:07:33,351
I want you to go!
174
00:07:36,049 --> 00:07:38,711
I think this is
going pretty good, huh?
175
00:07:41,450 --> 00:07:44,180
Maybe for you.
You threw me under the bus.
176
00:07:44,266 --> 00:07:46,375
Oh, I'm sorry. I panicked.
He was judging me.
177
00:07:46,476 --> 00:07:48,364
Well, yeah, now he's judging me.
178
00:07:48,488 --> 00:07:50,023
I know. It worked.
179
00:07:50,736 --> 00:07:53,959
You two might want to talk
louder or quieter.
180
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,172
In high school, he could
hear me open a can of beer
181
00:07:57,258 --> 00:07:59,187
in my closet
under a blanket.
182
00:08:02,124 --> 00:08:04,758
So let me get this
straight, Leonard.
183
00:08:05,259 --> 00:08:06,697
She doesn't want
to have your baby,
184
00:08:06,806 --> 00:08:09,320
but her dumbbell
ex-boyfriend does.
185
00:08:10,781 --> 00:08:13,255
Well, I... no, I wouldn't
say it like that.
186
00:08:13,340 --> 00:08:14,605
How would you say it?
187
00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:18,476
Uh, same words, just less angry.
188
00:08:20,398 --> 00:08:21,829
Well, I don't know
about Los Angeles,
189
00:08:21,914 --> 00:08:24,391
but in Nebraska,
that's kind of strange.
190
00:08:24,477 --> 00:08:27,726
It's strange here, too,
and we have a bakery for dogs.
191
00:08:28,820 --> 00:08:30,117
And you're okay with this?
192
00:08:30,203 --> 00:08:31,751
- I support my husband.
- Thank you.
193
00:08:31,837 --> 00:08:33,071
But, you know,
if you think differently,
194
00:08:33,156 --> 00:08:34,196
you should feel free
to say so.
195
00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:37,101
You know, just like, "Ah!"
Make a scene.
196
00:08:38,391 --> 00:08:41,458
Okay, look, they can't
have kids of their own,
197
00:08:41,543 --> 00:08:42,984
and they like
that I'm smart,
198
00:08:43,070 --> 00:08:44,461
and they want that
for their child.
199
00:08:44,546 --> 00:08:45,555
No, I get it.
200
00:08:45,641 --> 00:08:47,180
- You do?
- Sure.
201
00:08:47,332 --> 00:08:49,467
Back on the farm,
we had a prize stallion.
202
00:08:49,725 --> 00:08:54,039
We didn't let that just go to
waste; we put him out to stud.
203
00:08:55,419 --> 00:08:57,351
No, no, this is...
204
00:08:57,562 --> 00:09:00,779
- this is a little different than that...
- No, no, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
205
00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:04,185
Uh, you were comparing me
to a prize stud. Go on.
206
00:09:11,701 --> 00:09:13,716
You have fun with
your new best buddy?
207
00:09:13,879 --> 00:09:15,701
Hey, it's your fault
your dad likes me.
208
00:09:15,787 --> 00:09:17,982
You dated idiots
your whole life.
209
00:09:18,482 --> 00:09:20,365
Well, he was right
about one thing.
210
00:09:20,451 --> 00:09:23,677
I am married
to a stud.
211
00:09:23,787 --> 00:09:25,130
Mm. Really?
212
00:09:25,216 --> 00:09:27,357
Yeah, I felt so bad
about selling you out,
213
00:09:27,443 --> 00:09:29,506
I thought I would
maybe make it up to you.
214
00:09:32,695 --> 00:09:35,248
Wait, wait. I can't.
215
00:09:35,341 --> 00:09:36,468
I mean, I want to,
216
00:09:36,554 --> 00:09:38,434
but I'm not supposed to
for the next three days.
217
00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:41,662
Oh. That's right.
I forgot.
218
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:44,146
All right, well, guess
I'll just read a little
219
00:09:44,232 --> 00:09:47,044
and then... I don't
know... go to sleep.
220
00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:53,236
Really? That's what
you're sleeping in?
221
00:09:53,353 --> 00:09:55,802
- Oh, you want me to take it off?
- No.
222
00:09:56,911 --> 00:09:58,443
All right.
Well, then pipe down
223
00:09:58,529 --> 00:10:00,498
and let me read my comic book.
224
00:10:01,537 --> 00:10:03,278
Penny, I-I know
what you're doing.
225
00:10:03,363 --> 00:10:04,419
Just please stop.
226
00:10:04,505 --> 00:10:06,368
Ooh, listen to this.
227
00:10:06,762 --> 00:10:07,896
"Bam.
228
00:10:08,052 --> 00:10:09,099
"Pow.
229
00:10:09,185 --> 00:10:11,138
Take that, Batman."
230
00:10:14,412 --> 00:10:16,349
Thanks again for
doing this, guys.
231
00:10:16,497 --> 00:10:18,294
Of course. So excited.
232
00:10:18,380 --> 00:10:19,686
I'm glad you came.
233
00:10:19,865 --> 00:10:22,014
Howard made it sound like
this wasn't your kind of thing.
234
00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:23,849
He did say that,
but here I am.
235
00:10:23,935 --> 00:10:25,605
So what does he know?
236
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,099
I'm sorry. I just...
237
00:10:28,185 --> 00:10:30,022
Didn't think you'd enjoy
plummeting to the Earth
238
00:10:30,107 --> 00:10:31,045
at 400 miles an hour.
239
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:32,786
I love going fast,
240
00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:34,357
unlike Grandma here,
241
00:10:34,443 --> 00:10:35,789
poking along
at 70 miles an hour.
242
00:10:35,874 --> 00:10:37,732
Am I right?
243
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:40,865
I've always wanted
to do this.
244
00:10:41,021 --> 00:10:42,579
I'm an adrenaline junkie.
245
00:10:42,664 --> 00:10:44,583
Roller coasters, snowboarding,
246
00:10:44,669 --> 00:10:47,232
dating men
who bathe with their dogs.
247
00:10:48,084 --> 00:10:50,280
It was during a drought.
248
00:10:51,591 --> 00:10:52,980
I'm a thrill-seeker, too.
249
00:10:53,208 --> 00:10:55,255
I've had to pull back
since I became a mom,
250
00:10:55,341 --> 00:10:57,857
but I'll still jump on the back
of a grocery cart
251
00:10:57,943 --> 00:11:00,591
and just roll
through the meat section.
252
00:11:02,084 --> 00:11:03,169
And I'm married
to her,
253
00:11:03,255 --> 00:11:05,294
which is quite
the ride.
254
00:12:30,246 --> 00:12:31,793
Amy?
255
00:12:34,074 --> 00:12:36,098
There's something out here.
256
00:12:37,168 --> 00:12:38,879
Just trap it
under a cup,
257
00:12:38,965 --> 00:12:40,777
and I'll be there
in a minute.
258
00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:44,262
I'll try, but
it's Leonard.
259
00:12:44,941 --> 00:12:46,215
What?
260
00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:50,707
Well, what is
he doing here?
261
00:12:50,792 --> 00:12:52,341
I told you, if we left
pizza on the counter,
262
00:12:52,426 --> 00:12:54,301
we'd attract
something.
263
00:12:55,684 --> 00:12:57,199
Oh, hey, guys.
264
00:12:57,285 --> 00:12:58,366
Sorry. I used my key.
265
00:12:58,451 --> 00:13:00,194
I just needed
a place to crash.
266
00:13:00,543 --> 00:13:01,887
Is everything okay?
267
00:13:01,973 --> 00:13:03,067
Yeah, I...
268
00:13:03,293 --> 00:13:05,207
had to get out of the apartment.
269
00:13:05,293 --> 00:13:08,082
My wife kept trying
to have sex with me.
270
00:13:09,662 --> 00:13:11,121
Been there.
271
00:13:17,059 --> 00:13:19,441
Why are you trying
to avoid having sex?
272
00:13:19,527 --> 00:13:21,435
- Well, we just did it three weeks ago.
- I was talking
273
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:22,980
to Leonard!
274
00:13:25,488 --> 00:13:27,144
Well, I-I have to go
to the clinic
275
00:13:27,230 --> 00:13:28,353
for Zack and Marissa on Monday,
276
00:13:28,438 --> 00:13:31,138
and I'm supposed
to save myself until then.
277
00:13:31,465 --> 00:13:35,795
Sounds like maybe Penny's not
totally on board with that plan.
278
00:13:36,465 --> 00:13:37,971
Well, she said she was.
279
00:13:39,184 --> 00:13:41,941
But she also said
I looked dope.
280
00:13:43,637 --> 00:13:46,379
Honestly, I don't even
think I looked fly.
281
00:13:47,109 --> 00:13:48,638
So you're willing
to go through with this,
282
00:13:48,723 --> 00:13:50,680
even though
she clearly has reservations?
283
00:13:50,910 --> 00:13:51,957
If she has a problem,
284
00:13:52,043 --> 00:13:53,730
she should say something.
285
00:13:53,816 --> 00:13:55,246
She tried to seduce you.
286
00:13:55,332 --> 00:13:56,388
If that's not a cry for help,
287
00:13:56,473 --> 00:13:57,902
I don't know what is.
288
00:13:59,793 --> 00:14:02,176
Penny doesn't want
to have kids.
289
00:14:02,262 --> 00:14:03,388
I respect that.
290
00:14:03,473 --> 00:14:06,870
But this is my chance to
leave a part of me behind.
291
00:14:07,613 --> 00:14:10,168
Okay, but this isn't
gonna make you a dad.
292
00:14:10,254 --> 00:14:12,607
It's gonna be
their baby, not yours.
293
00:14:13,262 --> 00:14:14,816
Although,
someday,
294
00:14:14,902 --> 00:14:16,832
if that kid wants
to know why he's short,
295
00:14:16,918 --> 00:14:19,141
nearsighted, and asthmatic...
296
00:14:21,051 --> 00:14:22,980
he may hunt you down.
297
00:14:25,730 --> 00:14:29,644
Are you guys ready for the most
intense experience of your life?
298
00:14:29,730 --> 00:14:30,886
- Yes.
- Definitely.
299
00:14:30,972 --> 00:14:32,410
Not to brag, but
I'm an astronaut,
300
00:14:32,502 --> 00:14:34,464
so I've been
weightless before.
301
00:14:34,550 --> 00:14:36,375
Can be pretty scary.
302
00:14:37,855 --> 00:14:39,621
Please, I'm, like, 90 pounds.
303
00:14:39,707 --> 00:14:43,183
I'm weightless every time
I hold more than three balloons.
304
00:14:44,097 --> 00:14:46,206
Okay, I just need you guys
to sign these waivers,
305
00:14:46,292 --> 00:14:47,532
and then you
can go get changed.
306
00:14:47,667 --> 00:14:49,303
There are a lot
of pages here.
307
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:52,339
Is this a waiver or a screenplay
you've been working on?
308
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:54,847
I'm sure it's just
boilerplate.
309
00:14:54,933 --> 00:14:57,634
Absolutely. It's to protect us
in case of injury.
310
00:14:58,175 --> 00:15:00,277
It says, "Or death."
311
00:15:02,566 --> 00:15:04,503
Which is awesome.
312
00:15:05,925 --> 00:15:08,060
Done. Where are the
changing rooms?
313
00:15:08,146 --> 00:15:10,113
Dressing rooms
are in the back.
314
00:15:10,792 --> 00:15:12,402
No peeking.
315
00:15:14,834 --> 00:15:16,175
Here you go.
316
00:15:16,550 --> 00:15:18,589
Okay. Should we go get changed?
317
00:15:18,675 --> 00:15:20,847
Yeah. Hang on a second.
318
00:15:21,246 --> 00:15:22,246
What?
319
00:15:22,417 --> 00:15:23,990
Just...
I have two babies at home.
320
00:15:24,075 --> 00:15:25,426
What am I doing?
321
00:15:25,648 --> 00:15:27,080
If you don't want to do this,
322
00:15:27,165 --> 00:15:28,367
then why'd you come?
323
00:15:28,453 --> 00:15:30,421
To prove to Howard
that he doesn't know me as well
324
00:15:30,507 --> 00:15:32,234
as he thinks he does.
325
00:15:32,873 --> 00:15:34,173
Looks like he does.
326
00:15:34,398 --> 00:15:37,570
Unless I do it
and then he doesn't.
327
00:15:38,765 --> 00:15:40,746
Why not just be honest?
328
00:15:41,311 --> 00:15:42,789
You're right.
329
00:15:42,882 --> 00:15:44,382
I should be honest.
330
00:15:44,953 --> 00:15:48,708
You owe me $3,000 for those
plane tickets to India!
331
00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:54,999
Hey.
332
00:15:57,437 --> 00:15:58,734
That was a long run.
333
00:15:58,820 --> 00:16:00,640
Yeah. Well,
I was in the zone.
334
00:16:00,726 --> 00:16:02,523
You know,
and then in a diner
335
00:16:02,609 --> 00:16:06,023
and then in a massage chair
at the mall where I fell asleep.
336
00:16:07,499 --> 00:16:08,726
Are you avoiding me?
337
00:16:08,827 --> 00:16:11,570
Well, I took a nap
next to Hot Dog on a Stick.
338
00:16:11,656 --> 00:16:13,109
What do you think?
339
00:16:14,789 --> 00:16:18,023
I think you're mad at me
and Leonard,
340
00:16:18,241 --> 00:16:21,328
but maybe... you're really mad
at yourself.
341
00:16:21,631 --> 00:16:23,062
Why would I be
mad at myself?
342
00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:26,765
'Cause you regret
this "no baby" plan of yours.
343
00:16:26,851 --> 00:16:28,211
You know, it's
pretty crappy of you
344
00:16:28,296 --> 00:16:29,438
to make me feel
bad about this.
345
00:16:29,523 --> 00:16:31,664
I'm not trying
to make you feel bad.
346
00:16:32,007 --> 00:16:34,624
But... do you?
347
00:16:35,791 --> 00:16:36,925
Yes.
348
00:16:37,078 --> 00:16:38,874
I feel like I'm
letting everybody down.
349
00:16:39,093 --> 00:16:40,367
Hate disappointing Leonard,
350
00:16:40,453 --> 00:16:42,273
but I really hate
disappointing you.
351
00:16:42,395 --> 00:16:44,843
Oh, Slugger, you could
never disappoint me.
352
00:16:47,289 --> 00:16:50,679
Okay, your high school years
were a little rough.
353
00:16:51,859 --> 00:16:53,367
And I'm sorry about that.
354
00:16:53,505 --> 00:16:55,171
There was you
sneaking out at night
355
00:16:55,257 --> 00:16:56,750
and your boyfriends
sneaking out in the morning.
356
00:16:56,835 --> 00:16:58,359
I said sorry.
357
00:16:58,673 --> 00:17:00,906
That time you got drunk
and stole a horse.
358
00:17:00,992 --> 00:17:02,015
Yeah.
359
00:17:02,101 --> 00:17:03,867
I was there.
I remember.
360
00:17:03,999 --> 00:17:05,414
Parts of it.
361
00:17:05,698 --> 00:17:07,710
But besides all that,
362
00:17:08,515 --> 00:17:11,008
being your dad is the best thing
ever happened to me.
363
00:17:12,233 --> 00:17:14,234
What about
Randall and Lisa?
364
00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:16,859
They're okay.
365
00:17:17,617 --> 00:17:19,570
I just don't want you
to miss out.
366
00:17:20,367 --> 00:17:21,499
I know.
367
00:17:22,195 --> 00:17:24,124
But if this is
really what you want...
368
00:17:24,312 --> 00:17:25,633
Or don't want...
369
00:17:25,984 --> 00:17:27,499
I'm on your side.
370
00:17:27,992 --> 00:17:29,331
Thanks.
371
00:17:32,029 --> 00:17:33,664
- Hey.
- Hey.
372
00:17:33,816 --> 00:17:35,976
Uh, Wyatt, we need to talk.
373
00:17:36,108 --> 00:17:37,720
Sure. What's up?
374
00:17:38,554 --> 00:17:40,664
I want you to back off.
375
00:17:40,858 --> 00:17:44,570
You know? I-I-I-If Penny and I don't
have kids, that's between us.
376
00:17:44,656 --> 00:17:45,945
So you need
to stay out of it.
377
00:17:46,031 --> 00:17:48,226
Oh, Leonard, it's okay.
We talked. We're good.
378
00:17:49,368 --> 00:17:50,848
Oh.
379
00:17:53,992 --> 00:17:56,539
Okay, you could've
stopped me sooner.
380
00:17:57,756 --> 00:17:58,923
Could've let
you go longer.
381
00:17:59,009 --> 00:18:00,257
Uh-huh.
382
00:18:00,797 --> 00:18:02,627
You did great, Leonard.
Very forceful.
383
00:18:02,712 --> 00:18:04,126
Yeah?
384
00:18:04,624 --> 00:18:08,367
I-I-I felt like my voice
was a little shaky there.
385
00:18:10,539 --> 00:18:11,726
Um...
386
00:18:11,832 --> 00:18:14,718
Hey, I decided
to not go through
387
00:18:14,804 --> 00:18:16,989
with this Zack
and Marissa thing.
388
00:18:17,214 --> 00:18:18,304
Really?
389
00:18:18,451 --> 00:18:20,279
- But you were so excited about it.
- I know.
390
00:18:20,374 --> 00:18:21,733
But, um...
391
00:18:22,312 --> 00:18:24,382
I think I was just
fooling myself.
392
00:18:24,632 --> 00:18:28,296
I-I would be heartbroken
if I had a kid out there
393
00:18:28,382 --> 00:18:30,220
and I wasn't his dad.
394
00:18:31,109 --> 00:18:32,296
I know you would.
395
00:18:32,382 --> 00:18:33,920
Yeah.
396
00:18:36,928 --> 00:18:38,547
So, that thing
you wanted to do last night,
397
00:18:38,632 --> 00:18:40,164
I'm available.
398
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,515
I got real good hearing there,
stud.
399
00:18:46,858 --> 00:18:49,171
All right,
everyone's suited up.
400
00:18:49,265 --> 00:18:50,588
Let's head out
to the tarmac!
401
00:18:50,673 --> 00:18:52,503
Actually, one second.
402
00:18:52,953 --> 00:18:55,437
Howie, I don't think
I should do this.
403
00:18:55,773 --> 00:18:56,984
Really?
404
00:18:57,070 --> 00:19:00,161
Well, I did
not see that coming.
405
00:19:01,727 --> 00:19:02,992
Just... We have kids,
406
00:19:03,078 --> 00:19:05,453
and it's not smart to
put us both in danger.
407
00:19:05,543 --> 00:19:06,646
That's a good point.
408
00:19:06,732 --> 00:19:08,171
When I was little,
my parents
409
00:19:08,256 --> 00:19:09,302
never flew together.
410
00:19:09,414 --> 00:19:10,641
We thought it was
because they loved us,
411
00:19:10,726 --> 00:19:13,203
but it turns out
they hated each other.
412
00:19:14,491 --> 00:19:15,491
See?
413
00:19:15,631 --> 00:19:16,976
I just think
I shouldn't go.
414
00:19:17,062 --> 00:19:18,930
Actually, this is much safer
than driving a car.
415
00:19:19,015 --> 00:19:21,523
Stay out of it, flyboy!
416
00:19:22,406 --> 00:19:23,796
You're right.
417
00:19:24,154 --> 00:19:25,828
But I've done this before.
418
00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:28,796
And since you really,
really want to go,
419
00:19:28,945 --> 00:19:30,120
I'll stay here.
420
00:19:30,796 --> 00:19:32,238
Oh. Great.
421
00:19:32,323 --> 00:19:35,312
Unless you don't want to because
I was right and I do know you.
422
00:19:35,741 --> 00:19:37,922
Well, if you really know me,
then you know how far I'll go
423
00:19:38,007 --> 00:19:39,107
- to prove a point.
- Apparently,
424
00:19:39,192 --> 00:19:40,993
34,000 feet that way,
then straight back down,
425
00:19:41,078 --> 00:19:42,196
up and down,
over and over again
426
00:19:42,281 --> 00:19:44,843
until you throw up food
you didn't even eat.
427
00:19:46,554 --> 00:19:48,773
They are definitely
your weirdest friends.
428
00:19:48,874 --> 00:19:50,898
If only that were true.
429
00:19:54,432 --> 00:19:57,872
I hate this so much!
430
00:19:58,257 --> 00:20:00,164
Why am I doing this?!
431
00:20:00,250 --> 00:20:03,603
To prove a stupid point
to your husband!
432
00:20:03,819 --> 00:20:06,585
Oh, right. Worth it.
433
00:20:14,318 --> 00:20:15,476
Hey, Zack.
434
00:20:15,562 --> 00:20:19,226
Um, look, I-I know this
is gonna be disappointing,
435
00:20:19,312 --> 00:20:21,968
but, um, I-I can't do this.
436
00:20:23,046 --> 00:20:24,171
No, no, no, no.
437
00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:27,465
I-I, I know how. I just can't.
438
00:20:28,924 --> 00:20:30,820
But, hey, look,
439
00:20:30,906 --> 00:20:31,874
I-I-If you like,
440
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,054
I-I know someone
who might be interested.
441
00:20:34,468 --> 00:20:36,648
No! Absolutely not!
442
00:20:39,679 --> 00:20:41,304
I'm sorry,
my wife says I'm not allowed.
443
00:20:41,390 --> 00:20:43,640
Captioning sponsored by
CBS, WARNER BROS. TELEVISION.
444
00:20:43,898 --> 00:20:46,515
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
445
00:20:46,796 --> 00:20:49,046
Sync corrections by srjanapala