1 00:00:02,246 --> 00:00:04,546 Hey, did you guys know this year's the 40th anniversary 2 00:00:04,615 --> 00:00:06,915 of Halloween? - Oh, nonsense. 3 00:00:06,917 --> 00:00:08,183 Halloween traditions 4 00:00:08,252 --> 00:00:10,492 of date back to the Celtic festival of Samhain. 5 00:00:10,621 --> 00:00:12,388 Although our current Halloween customs 6 00:00:12,456 --> 00:00:14,723 come from the evening before All Hallows' Day-- 7 00:00:14,792 --> 00:00:17,760 All Hallows' Eve-- thus, Halloween. 8 00:00:17,828 --> 00:00:19,561 I meant the movie Halloween. 9 00:00:19,630 --> 00:00:21,330 Oh. 10 00:00:21,399 --> 00:00:23,465 Well, that's not interesting at all. 11 00:00:23,534 --> 00:00:25,345 Did you know the Michael Myers mask from the film 12 00:00:25,369 --> 00:00:27,736 was actually a Captain Kirk mask turned inside out? 13 00:00:27,805 --> 00:00:29,972 Okay, now it's interesting. 14 00:00:31,275 --> 00:00:33,375 Are you guys all dressing up for work? 15 00:00:33,444 --> 00:00:34,521 Of course. I mean, how often 16 00:00:34,545 --> 00:00:36,378 do you get to wear costumes to work? 17 00:00:36,447 --> 00:00:39,748 Says the man with a giant belt buckle and a dickey. 18 00:00:39,817 --> 00:00:43,218 Hey, this is not a costume. It's a choice. It's a style. 19 00:00:43,287 --> 00:00:45,487 It's a tragedy. 20 00:00:45,556 --> 00:00:47,434 Bernadette, why don't we get to dress up at work? 21 00:00:47,458 --> 00:00:50,192 We used to, but a couple guys in the infectious disease lab 22 00:00:50,261 --> 00:00:52,995 went as zombies and it triggered a quarantine. 23 00:00:54,065 --> 00:00:56,498 The CDC was so mad. 24 00:00:56,567 --> 00:01:00,235 Hey, if you really want to dress up, we could throw a party. 25 00:01:00,304 --> 00:01:02,137 Oh, that would be fun. 26 00:01:02,206 --> 00:01:03,950 You know, I used to throw Halloween parties all the time 27 00:01:03,974 --> 00:01:05,240 when I moved into the building. 28 00:01:05,309 --> 00:01:07,743 All the time? I only remember being invited to one. 29 00:01:09,013 --> 00:01:11,013 Please don't make this awkward for me. 30 00:01:12,583 --> 00:01:14,616 Okay, so, Friday night-- 31 00:01:14,685 --> 00:01:16,318 Halloween party here. - Okay. 32 00:01:16,387 --> 00:01:17,486 Great. Can't wait. 33 00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:18,787 What are you going as? 34 00:01:18,856 --> 00:01:20,322 I don't want to ruin the surprise. 35 00:01:20,391 --> 00:01:21,868 You'll see it at work. Just a warning: 36 00:01:21,892 --> 00:01:23,258 it's pretty scary. 37 00:01:23,327 --> 00:01:25,127 - Is it a bird? - No. 38 00:01:25,196 --> 00:01:26,762 - Is it a dog? - No. 39 00:01:26,831 --> 00:01:28,197 Oh, I think I'll be fine, then. 40 00:01:33,337 --> 00:01:35,904 Hello. 41 00:01:35,973 --> 00:01:37,272 Hello. 42 00:01:39,143 --> 00:01:40,709 I see you are dressed as Doc Brown 43 00:01:40,778 --> 00:01:42,177 from Back to the Future. 44 00:01:42,246 --> 00:01:44,224 May I assume that Amy is going as his wife, Clara Clayton, 45 00:01:44,248 --> 00:01:46,815 from Back to the Future Part III? 46 00:01:46,884 --> 00:01:48,417 She is. 47 00:02:02,366 --> 00:02:05,134 Did you do something different to your hair? 48 00:02:06,270 --> 00:02:08,070 Yes. 49 00:02:09,907 --> 00:02:11,073 Looking good. 50 00:02:12,856 --> 00:02:16,856 ♪ The Big Bang Theory 12x06 ♪ The Imitation Perturbation Original Air Date on October 25, 2018 51 00:02:16,881 --> 00:02:20,149 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 52 00:02:20,217 --> 00:02:23,719 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 53 00:02:23,788 --> 00:02:25,320 ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ 54 00:02:25,389 --> 00:02:28,023 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 55 00:02:28,092 --> 00:02:30,492 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 56 00:02:30,561 --> 00:02:33,228 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 57 00:02:33,297 --> 00:02:35,130 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 58 00:02:35,199 --> 00:02:36,765 ♪ Bang! ♪ 59 00:02:36,789 --> 00:02:43,789 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 60 00:02:47,165 --> 00:02:49,732 Oh, Inspector Gadget. 61 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:51,300 And I want to say 62 00:02:51,369 --> 00:02:54,136 Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. 63 00:02:54,205 --> 00:02:55,671 So close. 64 00:02:55,740 --> 00:02:57,940 Kooth Bader Ginsburg. 65 00:02:58,009 --> 00:02:59,775 The Notorious KBG. 66 00:02:59,844 --> 00:03:01,477 That's very clever. 67 00:03:01,546 --> 00:03:03,112 Sustained. 68 00:03:04,549 --> 00:03:06,849 Are you gonna dress in drag in front of your fiancée? 69 00:03:06,918 --> 00:03:09,318 Yeah. We have no secrets from each other. 70 00:03:09,387 --> 00:03:11,820 Well, except for the fact that I-I crocheted this myself. 71 00:03:19,564 --> 00:03:20,496 Hey, Sheldon. 72 00:03:20,565 --> 00:03:22,765 - Hello. - Hello. 73 00:03:26,571 --> 00:03:27,903 Oh, my God, 74 00:03:27,972 --> 00:03:29,505 you look amazing. 75 00:03:29,574 --> 00:03:31,018 I find you guilty of murder, 76 00:03:31,042 --> 00:03:33,609 because you are killing it. 77 00:03:33,678 --> 00:03:35,088 Well, technically, 78 00:03:35,112 --> 00:03:37,057 the Supreme Court wouldn't determine a defendant's 79 00:03:37,081 --> 00:03:38,641 guilt or innocence in a criminal matter. 80 00:03:38,683 --> 00:03:40,816 They could only reverse or revamp a jury's conviction 81 00:03:40,885 --> 00:03:43,552 based on a constitutional or statutory issue. 82 00:03:46,724 --> 00:03:48,123 Why are you laughing? 83 00:03:49,260 --> 00:03:50,993 His statement was factually correct. 84 00:03:52,597 --> 00:03:54,897 You're sitting in my spot. 85 00:03:56,033 --> 00:03:57,533 You don't have a spot. 86 00:03:57,602 --> 00:03:59,479 - What is wrong with you today? - Maybe he's cranky 87 00:03:59,503 --> 00:04:02,338 because he's off his bathroom schedule. 88 00:04:03,908 --> 00:04:06,642 Well, I can understand how that would make someone irritable. 89 00:04:06,711 --> 00:04:09,478 Interesting fact: "irritable" comes from the Latin, 90 00:04:09,547 --> 00:04:11,814 "susceptible to anger." 91 00:04:11,882 --> 00:04:13,582 Just because I used a word 92 00:04:13,651 --> 00:04:15,184 doesn't mean I want its etymology. 93 00:04:15,253 --> 00:04:16,919 Interesting fact: "etymology" 94 00:04:16,988 --> 00:04:18,065 comes from the Greek word... 95 00:04:18,089 --> 00:04:19,989 You are being so annoying. Stop it. 96 00:04:21,292 --> 00:04:23,192 And why are you two laughing? 97 00:04:23,261 --> 00:04:25,861 Sheldon, he's being you. 98 00:04:25,930 --> 00:04:27,429 He's dressed as you for Halloween. 99 00:04:39,210 --> 00:04:41,410 Oh. 100 00:04:41,479 --> 00:04:43,312 So you're not laughing at him. 101 00:04:43,381 --> 00:04:45,481 You're laughing at me. 102 00:04:45,549 --> 00:04:47,049 We're not laughing at you. 103 00:04:47,118 --> 00:04:48,217 We're laughing with you. 104 00:04:48,286 --> 00:04:50,719 But I'm not laughing. 105 00:04:51,822 --> 00:04:53,656 Then the first one. 106 00:04:58,129 --> 00:05:00,062 Ready to go? 107 00:05:00,131 --> 00:05:02,231 Hey, why aren't you in your costume? 108 00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:04,066 I just didn't feel like it. 109 00:05:04,135 --> 00:05:06,135 You get that I'm wearing a corset because of you, 110 00:05:06,203 --> 00:05:08,537 not because I'm tired of breathing? 111 00:05:08,606 --> 00:05:12,174 Amy, do you think I'm always correcting other people? 112 00:05:12,243 --> 00:05:15,711 No, not all the time. I mean, just last week, 113 00:05:15,780 --> 00:05:17,420 Penny ended a sentence with a preposition. 114 00:05:17,481 --> 00:05:18,562 You didn't even mention it. 115 00:05:19,318 --> 00:05:20,236 True. 116 00:05:20,318 --> 00:05:23,519 I just waited until I got home and screamed into a pillow. 117 00:05:25,623 --> 00:05:27,156 Is something bothering you? 118 00:05:28,259 --> 00:05:30,426 Howard dressed up as me and imitated me, 119 00:05:30,494 --> 00:05:31,894 and everyone laughed. 120 00:05:31,962 --> 00:05:35,197 Oh. Well, that must have felt terrible. 121 00:05:35,266 --> 00:05:37,132 It did. I never realized 122 00:05:37,201 --> 00:05:39,568 my friends viewed me as an object of ridicule. 123 00:05:39,637 --> 00:05:41,637 Oh, I don't think that's true. 124 00:05:41,706 --> 00:05:43,105 They laughed, Amy. 125 00:05:43,174 --> 00:05:46,175 In a derisive way. Not in the instructive way 126 00:05:46,243 --> 00:05:48,711 I laugh at them when they're being stupid. 127 00:05:52,516 --> 00:05:54,483 - Hey, happy Halloween. - Oh! 128 00:05:54,552 --> 00:05:56,552 - Trick or treat. - No. 129 00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:58,854 Sorry, you're not wearing a costume. 130 00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:02,458 Yeah, I am. I'm a pharmaceutical sales rep. 131 00:06:02,526 --> 00:06:03,959 I'm gonna need more. 132 00:06:04,028 --> 00:06:07,329 Okay, failed actress who traded constant rejection 133 00:06:07,398 --> 00:06:10,199 for a Christmas bonus and a dental plan? 134 00:06:10,267 --> 00:06:12,634 - Go nuts. - Oh. 135 00:06:13,838 --> 00:06:15,304 I will. 136 00:06:15,373 --> 00:06:17,473 So, what are you wearing to the party? 137 00:06:17,541 --> 00:06:20,242 Sexy cat? Sexy nurse? Sexy zombie? 138 00:06:20,311 --> 00:06:22,111 Why do girls' costumes have to be sexy 139 00:06:22,179 --> 00:06:23,679 but guys' costumes don't? 140 00:06:23,748 --> 00:06:26,782 Say that again with this helicopter on my head. 141 00:06:29,387 --> 00:06:30,886 Very cute. 142 00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:33,455 Hey, do you remember what happened 143 00:06:33,524 --> 00:06:36,058 at that first Halloween party that you invited me to? 144 00:06:36,127 --> 00:06:37,860 When I threw up in the pumpkin? 145 00:06:38,963 --> 00:06:40,896 More memorable than that. 146 00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:44,166 Really? That was pretty impressive. 147 00:06:44,235 --> 00:06:46,602 We had our first kiss. 148 00:06:46,670 --> 00:06:48,170 On this very couch. 149 00:06:48,239 --> 00:06:50,205 No, no, our first kiss was at your birthday. 150 00:06:50,274 --> 00:06:51,540 Remember? I threw you a party, 151 00:06:51,609 --> 00:06:53,442 you didn't make it, and I felt bad for you. 152 00:06:53,511 --> 00:06:56,712 No, no, it was on Halloween, 153 00:06:56,781 --> 00:06:58,881 and you felt bad for me. 154 00:06:58,949 --> 00:07:00,883 If we're gonna go through every party 155 00:07:00,951 --> 00:07:03,819 where I felt bad for you, we're gonna be here awhile. 156 00:07:03,888 --> 00:07:05,554 Never mind. 157 00:07:05,623 --> 00:07:07,147 What? You're not mad at me, are you? 158 00:07:07,171 --> 00:07:07,991 No. 159 00:07:07,992 --> 00:07:09,336 Of course not. No, we just remember 160 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:10,504 different things from that party. 161 00:07:10,528 --> 00:07:11,660 I remember falling in love, 162 00:07:11,729 --> 00:07:13,729 and you remember vomiting in a pumpkin. 163 00:07:13,798 --> 00:07:15,631 I was, like, four feet away. 164 00:07:15,699 --> 00:07:17,299 People cheered. 165 00:07:19,703 --> 00:07:22,004 - Here you go. - Thanks. 166 00:07:22,072 --> 00:07:24,907 So, did you see Howard's costume? 167 00:07:24,975 --> 00:07:27,376 See it? I made it. It was hilarious. 168 00:07:27,445 --> 00:07:31,647 Well, Sheldon didn't think so, and neither did I. 169 00:07:31,715 --> 00:07:33,649 Oh, come on. It was all in good fun. 170 00:07:33,717 --> 00:07:36,885 Well, I'm sure it was, but Sheldon's feelings got hurt. 171 00:07:36,954 --> 00:07:39,121 M-Maybe Howard could apologize? 172 00:07:39,190 --> 00:07:40,656 You're kidding, right? 173 00:07:40,724 --> 00:07:42,391 Sheldon didn't apologize 174 00:07:42,460 --> 00:07:45,794 when he said my baby looked like Winston Churchill. 175 00:07:45,863 --> 00:07:46,895 He loves Churchill. 176 00:07:46,964 --> 00:07:49,665 Your son should take that as a compliment. 177 00:07:49,733 --> 00:07:51,533 He said it about my daughter. 178 00:07:52,636 --> 00:07:54,937 Well, this isn't about Sheldon. 179 00:07:55,005 --> 00:07:56,939 This is about Howard. 180 00:07:57,007 --> 00:07:58,807 I think it is about Sheldon. 181 00:07:58,876 --> 00:08:01,677 How many times has he made fun of Howard for being an engineer? 182 00:08:01,745 --> 00:08:04,046 Going to MIT? His magic? 183 00:08:04,114 --> 00:08:06,348 Sheldon doesn't make fun of his magic. 184 00:08:06,417 --> 00:08:08,050 Well, he should. It's stupid. 185 00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:11,520 Anyway, the point is, 186 00:08:11,589 --> 00:08:13,789 Sheldon shouldn't dish it out if he can't take it. 187 00:08:13,858 --> 00:08:16,859 I think the point is that Howard owes him an apology. 188 00:08:16,927 --> 00:08:18,227 Yeah, well, I think the point is 189 00:08:18,295 --> 00:08:19,606 if Sheldon has a problem with Howard, 190 00:08:19,630 --> 00:08:21,163 Sheldon should take it up with him. 191 00:08:21,232 --> 00:08:23,232 Mama. 192 00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:24,666 Now, if you'll excuse me, 193 00:08:24,735 --> 00:08:27,569 the prime minister of England needs her diaper changed. 194 00:08:31,442 --> 00:08:33,442 Hey. 195 00:08:33,511 --> 00:08:35,077 Oh, that's great. 196 00:08:35,145 --> 00:08:37,346 He's a Supreme Court justice, 197 00:08:37,414 --> 00:08:38,914 and you're the U.S. Constitution. 198 00:08:38,983 --> 00:08:41,783 Yep. He interprets me. 199 00:08:42,786 --> 00:08:44,553 And guess what's underneath this? 200 00:08:44,622 --> 00:08:46,188 The Bill of Tights. 201 00:08:47,691 --> 00:08:51,894 Smart, funny, gorgeous-- are we a match or what? 202 00:08:51,962 --> 00:08:54,029 Hey, Bert, what are you dressed as? 203 00:08:54,098 --> 00:08:56,031 I'll give you a hint. 204 00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:58,033 My work in seismic refraction measurements and... 205 00:08:58,102 --> 00:09:00,569 Hey, Stuart, what are you dressed as? 206 00:09:00,638 --> 00:09:02,571 I'm a butterfly. 207 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:05,240 Did you steal those from Halley's "let's pretend" box? 208 00:09:05,309 --> 00:09:06,875 I'm gonna put them back. 209 00:09:07,945 --> 00:09:09,745 All right, I'll tell you. 210 00:09:09,813 --> 00:09:13,916 I'm Maurice "Doc" Ewing, winner of the 1960 Vetlesen Prize, 211 00:09:13,984 --> 00:09:17,119 generally regarded as the Nobel Prize of geology. 212 00:09:17,187 --> 00:09:19,755 Oh, yeah. Now I see it. 213 00:09:19,823 --> 00:09:21,223 Ask me how I died. 214 00:09:21,292 --> 00:09:23,625 Spoiler alert: brain hemorrhage. 215 00:09:24,728 --> 00:09:26,662 Well, Gorblimey. 216 00:09:26,730 --> 00:09:28,664 You look like a thousand tuppence. 217 00:09:28,732 --> 00:09:30,666 Don't he, Mary Poppins? 218 00:09:30,734 --> 00:09:33,602 Are you gonna talk like that all night? 219 00:09:33,671 --> 00:09:35,037 Jiff willikers, I am. 220 00:09:35,105 --> 00:09:37,205 Isn't he cute? 221 00:09:37,274 --> 00:09:39,775 He's gonna get a spoonful of sugar later. 222 00:09:39,843 --> 00:09:42,511 And I'm gonna sweep Ms. Poppins' chimney. 223 00:09:45,215 --> 00:09:47,015 So, here we are. 224 00:09:47,084 --> 00:09:50,118 On Halloween. On this couch. 225 00:09:50,187 --> 00:09:51,787 Does it ring any bells? 226 00:09:51,855 --> 00:09:53,255 Really? We're still doing this? 227 00:09:53,324 --> 00:09:55,891 I'm just surprised you don't remember our first kiss. 228 00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:58,794 Fine. It was on Halloween. 229 00:09:58,862 --> 00:10:00,262 Are you agreeing just to shut me up? 230 00:10:00,331 --> 00:10:01,964 You got another way? I'm all ears. 231 00:10:03,601 --> 00:10:06,368 - Really? An arranged marriage? - Yeah. 232 00:10:06,437 --> 00:10:07,536 I know how it sounds. 233 00:10:07,605 --> 00:10:09,605 It sounds awesome. 234 00:10:10,541 --> 00:10:12,174 Is that just an Indian thing, 235 00:10:12,242 --> 00:10:13,976 or can I get a piece of that? 236 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,714 You know the woman has a choice, right? 237 00:10:18,782 --> 00:10:20,315 There's always a catch. 238 00:10:23,253 --> 00:10:25,187 Happy Halloween. 239 00:10:30,728 --> 00:10:32,527 Who wants to see a magic trick? 240 00:10:32,596 --> 00:10:34,696 Oh, that's right. No one. 241 00:10:37,468 --> 00:10:40,602 Ha! They're you. 242 00:10:45,430 --> 00:10:46,829 What do you think you're doing? 243 00:10:46,898 --> 00:10:48,297 I thought it was clear. 244 00:10:48,366 --> 00:10:51,700 I'm being unnecessarily hurtful but with a sweet voice. 245 00:10:53,438 --> 00:10:55,037 And I don't understand what's going on 246 00:10:55,106 --> 00:10:57,006 because I went to MIT. 247 00:10:58,843 --> 00:11:00,743 Okay, guys, I think that's enough. 248 00:11:00,812 --> 00:11:02,578 Hold on. I'm the judge here, 249 00:11:02,647 --> 00:11:05,581 and I'm going to allow it. 250 00:11:05,650 --> 00:11:06,650 Raj, take a break. 251 00:11:06,717 --> 00:11:07,650 Hey, free speech. 252 00:11:07,718 --> 00:11:09,385 Right back there somewhere. 253 00:11:11,422 --> 00:11:12,655 You know what, guys? 254 00:11:12,723 --> 00:11:14,768 You got us. Congratulations. Now why don't you go back 255 00:11:14,792 --> 00:11:16,537 to your apartment and put on your other costumes. 256 00:11:16,561 --> 00:11:18,260 Oh, but it's so far away, 257 00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:21,230 and I have such teeny, tiny legs. 258 00:11:21,299 --> 00:11:24,166 Really? Our bodies? Is that where we're going, Amy? 259 00:11:24,235 --> 00:11:25,579 What's wrong with my body? 260 00:11:25,603 --> 00:11:28,537 Well, for starters, you have a quarter in your nose. 261 00:11:33,411 --> 00:11:35,511 Not now, Sheldon. 262 00:11:35,580 --> 00:11:37,780 I don't get invited to a lot of parties. 263 00:11:37,849 --> 00:11:39,248 Is this a good one? 264 00:11:39,317 --> 00:11:41,383 Oh, yeah. 265 00:11:50,328 --> 00:11:53,629 Did that guacamole taste weird to you? 266 00:11:56,701 --> 00:11:58,901 Tasted weird to me. 267 00:11:59,971 --> 00:12:02,104 Can't believe Amy did that. 268 00:12:02,173 --> 00:12:03,739 Oh, come on. You thought it was funny 269 00:12:03,808 --> 00:12:05,107 when I dressed up as Sheldon. 270 00:12:05,176 --> 00:12:06,609 That was totally different. 271 00:12:06,677 --> 00:12:08,978 - How? - That didn't hurt my feelings. 272 00:12:10,277 --> 00:12:12,448 Well, for what it's worth, 273 00:12:12,517 --> 00:12:14,683 I didn't think it was a very good impression of you. 274 00:12:14,752 --> 00:12:17,620 Really? You don't think I have an annoying high-pitched voice? 275 00:12:17,688 --> 00:12:18,954 No, not at all. 276 00:12:19,023 --> 00:12:23,159 In fact, I find your voice quite melodious. 277 00:12:23,227 --> 00:12:25,060 Mm-hmm. And you don't think 278 00:12:25,129 --> 00:12:27,530 I'm unnecessarily hurtful? 279 00:12:28,633 --> 00:12:30,032 What? I'm sorry. 280 00:12:30,101 --> 00:12:32,935 I-I couldn't hear the question. I just heard the music. 281 00:12:37,375 --> 00:12:39,975 Well, people came, they ate, they vowed 282 00:12:40,044 --> 00:12:41,321 to never speak to each other again. 283 00:12:41,345 --> 00:12:43,846 I think it was a successful party. 284 00:12:43,915 --> 00:12:46,615 It was. And I'm sorry about earlier. 285 00:12:46,684 --> 00:12:47,983 I know it doesn't matter. 286 00:12:48,052 --> 00:12:50,986 No, it does matter. 287 00:12:51,055 --> 00:12:52,488 Okay? You were right. 288 00:12:52,557 --> 00:12:53,856 It was Halloween. 289 00:12:53,925 --> 00:12:56,325 I was dressed as a cat, you were a hobbit. 290 00:12:56,394 --> 00:12:58,727 It was right there on that couch. 291 00:12:58,796 --> 00:13:01,263 Why didn't you just say that? 292 00:13:01,332 --> 00:13:04,066 Because I always hated that was our first kiss. 293 00:13:04,135 --> 00:13:06,035 I was drunk, and I was still with Kurt, 294 00:13:06,103 --> 00:13:08,437 and I was using you to make myself feel better. 295 00:13:08,506 --> 00:13:11,140 I... just wanted our first kiss to mean something. 296 00:13:11,209 --> 00:13:13,209 That's why I said it was the one on your birthday. 297 00:13:14,312 --> 00:13:16,946 I like that. 298 00:13:17,014 --> 00:13:19,748 We'll make that our official first kiss. 299 00:13:19,817 --> 00:13:23,752 Thank you. Aw. 300 00:13:24,822 --> 00:13:26,055 That was beautiful. 301 00:13:29,427 --> 00:13:31,894 - Mm. - What are you still doing here? 302 00:13:31,963 --> 00:13:33,662 I was in the bathroom. 303 00:13:33,731 --> 00:13:36,265 Guacamole didn't agree with me. 304 00:13:36,334 --> 00:13:38,601 Well, since you're here, you can help us clean up. 305 00:13:38,669 --> 00:13:40,569 Will you take this out, please? Sure. 306 00:13:40,638 --> 00:13:42,004 Thank you. 307 00:13:42,073 --> 00:13:45,574 It's late. Would you mind if I crashed here tonight? 308 00:13:45,643 --> 00:13:46,875 You are always welcome here. 309 00:13:46,944 --> 00:13:49,311 - Thank you. - Mm-hmm. 310 00:13:55,553 --> 00:13:56,585 Where were we? 311 00:13:59,557 --> 00:14:02,791 I think Howard hurting my feelings has in some ways 312 00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:04,226 made me a better person. 313 00:14:04,295 --> 00:14:06,428 Hmm. Look at you, improving on perfection. 314 00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:08,297 How so? 315 00:14:08,366 --> 00:14:09,632 As you were eating that Danish, 316 00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:11,967 I wanted to point out that the Danish 317 00:14:12,036 --> 00:14:13,202 isn't Danish at all. 318 00:14:13,271 --> 00:14:14,937 It was imported by Austrian bakers 319 00:14:15,006 --> 00:14:16,406 during a labor dispute in the 1800s. 320 00:14:16,474 --> 00:14:18,841 But I chose not to, 321 00:14:18,909 --> 00:14:20,669 because I didn't want to be the kind of fella 322 00:14:20,711 --> 00:14:23,145 who foists unwanted facts about European pastries 323 00:14:23,214 --> 00:14:25,347 on the unwilling. 324 00:14:25,416 --> 00:14:27,583 Huh. That's actually interesting. 325 00:14:27,652 --> 00:14:30,252 Sorry. Now you'll never know. 326 00:14:30,321 --> 00:14:32,187 Hey, guys, I need your help. 327 00:14:32,256 --> 00:14:34,123 Bernadette's still pretty upset 328 00:14:34,191 --> 00:14:35,658 about your costumes. 329 00:14:35,726 --> 00:14:36,992 She's upset? 330 00:14:37,061 --> 00:14:39,361 Those pants I wore to make fun of you were so tight, 331 00:14:39,430 --> 00:14:41,530 I risked a testicular hernia. 332 00:14:41,599 --> 00:14:43,599 Anyway, 333 00:14:43,668 --> 00:14:46,669 if you guys could apologize, it'd be a big help. 334 00:14:46,737 --> 00:14:49,104 Oh, we'd be happy to apologize to her 335 00:14:49,173 --> 00:14:50,839 as soon as she apologizes to me 336 00:14:50,908 --> 00:14:52,941 for not making you apologize to Sheldon. 337 00:14:53,010 --> 00:14:54,043 I didn't follow that, 338 00:14:54,111 --> 00:14:55,789 but, then, between my wife and that guacamole, 339 00:14:55,813 --> 00:14:58,147 I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. 340 00:14:58,215 --> 00:14:59,882 Don't you think it's unreasonable 341 00:14:59,950 --> 00:15:02,785 for her to ask us to do something she refused to do? 342 00:15:02,853 --> 00:15:05,654 Yes. So when can you stop by? 343 00:15:05,723 --> 00:15:07,267 I don't understand. If it's unreasonable, 344 00:15:07,291 --> 00:15:08,490 why should we do it? 345 00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:10,203 Okay, how about this? You know in Star Wars 346 00:15:10,227 --> 00:15:12,795 when R2 and Chewbacca were playing holochess? 347 00:15:12,863 --> 00:15:14,396 Really? Star Wars? 348 00:15:14,465 --> 00:15:16,965 Amy, let the man speak. 349 00:15:17,034 --> 00:15:18,701 Well, Chewbacca 350 00:15:18,769 --> 00:15:21,537 was losing and getting angry and... 351 00:15:21,605 --> 00:15:25,174 W-W-Wait. Are you saying we should let the Wookiee win? 352 00:15:25,242 --> 00:15:26,575 Hey. 353 00:15:26,644 --> 00:15:28,977 Hey, that's my wife you're talking about. 354 00:15:30,981 --> 00:15:33,449 But yes, let the Wookiee win. 355 00:15:39,557 --> 00:15:41,724 Hello, Bernadette. 356 00:15:41,792 --> 00:15:44,360 Wait, did you just walk into my house? 357 00:15:44,428 --> 00:15:46,562 No, Howard let me in. 358 00:15:46,630 --> 00:15:47,663 Where is he? 359 00:15:47,732 --> 00:15:50,632 Oh, he got in his car and drove away. 360 00:15:51,736 --> 00:15:53,102 Oh. 361 00:15:53,170 --> 00:15:54,903 Is that watermelon for anybody? 362 00:15:54,972 --> 00:15:57,740 - It's for Halley. - Is she gonna eat all of it? 363 00:15:57,808 --> 00:15:59,375 God, no wonder she looks like Churchill. 364 00:16:01,479 --> 00:16:03,579 What do you want, Sheldon? 365 00:16:03,647 --> 00:16:05,914 Howard said your feelings were hurt. 366 00:16:05,983 --> 00:16:07,316 Well, Howard's wrong. I don't care 367 00:16:07,385 --> 00:16:08,717 if someone makes fun of me. 368 00:16:08,786 --> 00:16:11,019 All right. 369 00:16:11,088 --> 00:16:13,756 Apparently I came all this way for nothing. 370 00:16:13,824 --> 00:16:17,092 Unless Halley wants to share that watermelon? 371 00:16:17,161 --> 00:16:19,072 You think Amy's the first person to make fun of me 372 00:16:19,096 --> 00:16:20,429 for having a squeaky voice? 373 00:16:21,198 --> 00:16:22,731 Do you? 374 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:24,566 I feel like my chance at watermelon 375 00:16:24,635 --> 00:16:26,802 is dangling by a thread. 376 00:16:26,871 --> 00:16:29,071 She's not. It's been happening my whole life. 377 00:16:29,140 --> 00:16:31,440 And-and she called me out for being mean? 378 00:16:31,509 --> 00:16:33,375 Well, I've had to be mean. 379 00:16:35,646 --> 00:16:37,579 It's hard to be taken seriously 380 00:16:37,648 --> 00:16:39,782 when you're always the smallest person in the room. 381 00:16:39,850 --> 00:16:41,016 I know that. 382 00:16:41,085 --> 00:16:43,218 I was in high school when I was nine years old. 383 00:16:43,287 --> 00:16:44,953 I tried to tell the other kids 384 00:16:45,022 --> 00:16:46,989 that although my physical stature was small, 385 00:16:47,057 --> 00:16:49,258 my intellectual stature towered over them. 386 00:16:49,326 --> 00:16:53,395 That only seemed to make things worse. 387 00:16:53,464 --> 00:16:57,166 The kids called me Bernadette the marionette. 388 00:16:57,234 --> 00:16:59,735 Because you're small. That's funny. 389 00:17:00,838 --> 00:17:02,104 No, it's not. 390 00:17:02,173 --> 00:17:05,240 Well, people used to call me egghead 391 00:17:05,309 --> 00:17:07,209 'cause there were eggs on my head. 392 00:17:07,278 --> 00:17:09,244 'Cause they threw them at me. 393 00:17:09,313 --> 00:17:10,746 That's terrible. 394 00:17:11,949 --> 00:17:13,982 One time my brothers made me breathe helium. 395 00:17:14,051 --> 00:17:15,584 I tried to call for help, 396 00:17:15,653 --> 00:17:18,387 but the only one who could hear me was the dog. 397 00:17:20,491 --> 00:17:23,358 That's also terrible. 398 00:17:23,427 --> 00:17:26,094 My goodness, you had to live in a house with a dog. 399 00:17:26,163 --> 00:17:30,666 I guess we both had to put up with a lot of crap from people. 400 00:17:30,734 --> 00:17:33,836 I suppose we have. Huh. 401 00:17:33,904 --> 00:17:36,271 Maybe you and I are more alike than we thought. 402 00:17:36,340 --> 00:17:38,106 Maybe we are. 403 00:17:38,175 --> 00:17:40,843 Although I'm exceptionally tall, and you're exceptionally... 404 00:17:40,911 --> 00:17:43,278 - Sheldon. - You didn't even let me finish. 405 00:17:43,347 --> 00:17:45,347 - Fine. Sorry. - Short. 406 00:17:51,511 --> 00:17:53,211 Sheldon, you sure you're ready for this? 407 00:17:53,279 --> 00:17:55,713 - This movie's pretty scary. - Please. 408 00:17:55,782 --> 00:17:57,615 I'm an adult. I think I can handle it. 409 00:17:57,684 --> 00:18:01,152 That's what you said about the butterfly pavilion at the zoo. 410 00:18:01,221 --> 00:18:03,521 That was my fault. After I pet that goat, 411 00:18:03,590 --> 00:18:05,890 I felt like a gladiator. 412 00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:07,325 Okay, lights on, or lights off? 413 00:18:07,393 --> 00:18:11,229 Lights off. If I'm gonna do this, I want to do it right. 414 00:18:16,536 --> 00:18:18,469 What do you guys think you're doing? 415 00:18:18,538 --> 00:18:20,171 We're showing Sheldon Halloween. 416 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,306 Absolutely not. Sheldon, come home. 417 00:18:24,310 --> 00:18:26,444 But I really want to watch it. 418 00:18:26,512 --> 00:18:28,846 I know you do, but I am forbidding it. 419 00:18:28,915 --> 00:18:30,848 Oh, man. Sorry, guys. 420 00:18:35,488 --> 00:18:37,808 - What took you so long? - I'm sorry. I just got your text! 421 00:18:39,098 --> 00:18:46,098 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man