1
00:00:02,785 --> 00:00:04,439
So, Penny, we were talking
to our neighbors,

2
00:00:04,482 --> 00:00:06,702
and they'’re thinking of moving
and selling their house.

3
00:00:06,745 --> 00:00:07,616
Really? Why?

4
00:00:07,659 --> 00:00:09,009
Something about
babies crying

5
00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:10,140
and keeping them up all night;
it'’s not important.

6
00:00:10,184 --> 00:00:11,837
You guys should totally
take a look at it.

7
00:00:11,881 --> 00:00:12,708
[LAUGHS]

8
00:00:12,751 --> 00:00:14,101
Then we could be neighbors.

9
00:00:14,144 --> 00:00:15,493
Hey. Wait a minute,
what about us?

10
00:00:15,537 --> 00:00:16,799
I mean, we'’re married now.

11
00:00:16,842 --> 00:00:18,322
Maybe we want to buy
the house next door.

12
00:00:18,366 --> 00:00:20,063
Well, Amy, we can'’t move.

13
00:00:20,107 --> 00:00:22,674
I'’d have to change all
the tags in my underwear.

14
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:24,894
You can buy new ones.

15
00:00:24,937 --> 00:00:26,330
What-- new house, new
underwear. What am I,

16
00:00:26,374 --> 00:00:28,593
in the Witness
Protection Program?

17
00:00:28,637 --> 00:00:31,074
Okay. Guys,
so what do you think?

18
00:00:31,118 --> 00:00:33,555
Well, I don'’t know,
w-we'’re pretty happy here.

19
00:00:33,598 --> 00:00:35,383
Yeah. Plus, if we moved,
we'’d probably just get

20
00:00:35,426 --> 00:00:36,906
a loft downtown.

21
00:00:36,949 --> 00:00:40,127
Really? I always figured
we'’d get a place with a yard.

22
00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:41,519
Oh, sure, yeah,
that makes sense,

23
00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:43,173
so you could shoot hoops
and mow the lawn?

24
00:00:45,175 --> 00:00:47,308
How are you two married?

25
00:00:47,351 --> 00:00:48,526
You were there.
I wore her down.

26
00:00:48,570 --> 00:00:49,875
He did.

27
00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:52,052
You guys should'’ve talked
about all this stuff

28
00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:53,662
while you were dating.

29
00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:57,013
I mean, me and Anu already know
so much about each other.

30
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,102
Wait, I forget,
is Anu your waxer?

31
00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:00,756
Uh, no, that'’s Annette.

32
00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:03,846
Anu is the woman
my father fixed me up with.

33
00:01:03,889 --> 00:01:05,500
We'’re going
on our first date tomorrow.

34
00:01:05,543 --> 00:01:08,198
Which reminds me,
I need to see Annette.

35
00:01:08,242 --> 00:01:11,114
You'’re really letting your
father pick out a wife?

36
00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:12,724
Why not?

37
00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:15,205
Arranged marriages have been
working for thousands of years.

38
00:01:15,249 --> 00:01:17,207
Anu and I come
from similar backgrounds,

39
00:01:17,251 --> 00:01:19,035
our families get along
and we each

40
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,819
filled out questionnaires, so we
know we'’re not wasting our time

41
00:01:20,863 --> 00:01:22,865
with someone
who'’s not compatible.

42
00:01:22,908 --> 00:01:24,780
Oh, that sounds so dry
and clinical.

43
00:01:24,823 --> 00:01:26,477
You lucky duck.

44
00:01:28,175 --> 00:01:29,698
I just don'’t think you
can truly know someone

45
00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:31,526
until you'’ve spent a
lot of time with them.

46
00:01:31,569 --> 00:01:33,702
Really? What'’s Penny's
dream vacation?

47
00:01:33,745 --> 00:01:38,185
Uh, Malibu beach house.

48
00:01:38,228 --> 00:01:41,536
That'’s Barbie's
dream vacation.

49
00:01:41,579 --> 00:01:44,713
Maybe you should send us
that questionnaire.

50
00:01:44,756 --> 00:01:48,238
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪

51
00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:51,546
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪

52
00:01:51,589 --> 00:01:53,287
♪ The Earth began to cool

53
00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:55,941
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

54
00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:58,422
♪ We built the Wall ♪ We built the pyramids♪

55
00:01:58,466 --> 00:02:01,164
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪

56
00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:03,123
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪

57
00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:04,733
♪ Bang!♪

58
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:14,612
Enjoying your book?

59
00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:17,702
So much.

60
00:02:17,746 --> 00:02:20,792
Why do you keep poking at it?

61
00:02:20,836 --> 00:02:24,709
Fine, I'’m shopping on my phone.

62
00:02:24,753 --> 00:02:27,234
You'’re the one who said
you wanted to read more.

63
00:02:27,277 --> 00:02:29,497
Yes, I also tell people
I only feed the kids organic.

64
00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:31,499
It'’s just stuff you say.

65
00:02:31,542 --> 00:02:33,196
[DOOR CLOSES]

66
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:34,937
Hey.Ah, hello.

67
00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:36,112
Hey.

68
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,331
How was your night?

69
00:02:37,374 --> 00:02:39,463
Ah, it was great.
We went to an improv show.

70
00:02:39,507 --> 00:02:41,465
Yeah. They asked the
audience to suggest a word,

71
00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:42,814
and they used Stuart'’s.

72
00:02:42,858 --> 00:02:43,989
Oh, cool, what was it?

73
00:02:44,033 --> 00:02:45,817
Coconuts.

74
00:02:45,861 --> 00:02:47,906
It was such a good one.

75
00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:50,082
[CHUCKLES]
It just came to me.

76
00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:52,476
Uh, what are you guys up to?Reading.

77
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,435
Oh, nice, I wish
I read more.

78
00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:56,915
Well, if it'’s important,
you find the time.

79
00:02:59,048 --> 00:03:00,180
You want to see my room?

80
00:03:00,223 --> 00:03:01,181
Yeah.
Cool.

81
00:03:03,661 --> 00:03:06,186
[QUIETLY]:
How do you feel about this?

82
00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:09,319
That she can clearly do better,
but that'’s not for me to say.

83
00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:12,670
No, with them in his room,
doing stuff.

84
00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:13,889
Oh, come on, we'’re sitting
right out here.

85
00:03:13,932 --> 00:03:15,412
They'’re not gonna do anything.

86
00:03:15,456 --> 00:03:19,111
♪ Smooth operator

87
00:03:19,155 --> 00:03:21,418
♪ Smooth operator...

88
00:03:21,462 --> 00:03:23,725
I'’d like to change my answer.

89
00:03:23,768 --> 00:03:25,117
♪ Smooth operator.

90
00:03:29,121 --> 00:03:32,386
Wow, you really are
good at this.

91
00:03:32,429 --> 00:03:35,389
Well, I'’ve spent a lot of time
painting D&Dminiatures.

92
00:03:37,129 --> 00:03:38,827
I know that makes you want
to rip my shirt off,

93
00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:40,045
but wait until
your nails are dry.

94
00:03:40,089 --> 00:03:41,873
[PHONE CHIMES]

95
00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:43,745
Oh, it'’s Raj.

96
00:03:43,788 --> 00:03:46,313
He sent us that Indian marriage
questionnaire.

97
00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:49,229
Ooh, read one.Okay.

98
00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:50,360
"How religious are you?"

99
00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:52,275
That'’s easy, both of us:
not at all.

100
00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:54,495
No, I wouldn'’t say not at all.
I mean, I am pretty spiritual.

101
00:03:54,538 --> 00:03:57,062
I do go to yoga, so...

102
00:03:57,106 --> 00:04:01,066
Great, so your church is
Our Lady of the Stretchy Pants.

103
00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:04,026
Next question.

104
00:04:04,069 --> 00:04:05,941
Uh, "how close are you
with your family?"

105
00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:07,247
Pretty close.

106
00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:08,378
I'’m gonna say not too close,

107
00:04:08,422 --> 00:04:10,859
but I'’m hoping to get farther.

108
00:04:10,902 --> 00:04:13,296
How do you feel
about children?

109
00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:14,863
Um, they'’re okay, I guess.

110
00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:18,649
I mean, if I saw one,
I wouldn'’t throw a rock at it.

111
00:04:18,693 --> 00:04:22,958
W-Why would you throw
a rock at a child?

112
00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:25,917
[CHUCKLES]:
I just said I wouldn'’t.

113
00:04:25,961 --> 00:04:28,833
The question is would you
like to have kids.

114
00:04:28,877 --> 00:04:30,357
So, yeah, we want kids.

115
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:31,706
Yeah-- someday.

116
00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:33,229
Right, like,
in the next five years.

117
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,753
Sure, uh, next question.

118
00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:37,277
"How are you with pets?"

119
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,757
Well, I did take care
of Sheldon for 15 years,

120
00:04:39,801 --> 00:04:42,456
and he only bit me twice.

121
00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:48,331
I have to say, uh, after reading
your questionnaire,

122
00:04:48,375 --> 00:04:50,942
I feel like I already know you.

123
00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:53,380
Totally. Me, too. Excuse me.

124
00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:55,164
Can we please get
sparkling instead of tap,

125
00:04:55,207 --> 00:04:56,774
some clean silverware
and find out

126
00:04:56,818 --> 00:04:58,733
what they'’re having?
That looks delicious.

127
00:04:58,776 --> 00:04:59,864
Yes, ma'’am.

128
00:04:59,908 --> 00:05:01,257
Thank you.

129
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,085
So, you'’re an astrophysicist.

130
00:05:03,128 --> 00:05:04,521
Yes, ma'’am.

131
00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:07,307
I-I mean, uh, just yes.

132
00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:08,960
U-Unless you prefer "ma'’am."

133
00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:11,136
I don'’t.Good, because you don'’t
seem like a ma'’am.

134
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:14,966
You seem more
like a sweet thang.

135
00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:18,318
Wow. You are not good at this.

136
00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:19,754
[CHUCKLES]
Well, if I was good at this,

137
00:05:19,797 --> 00:05:21,843
I wouldn'’t need
to be fixed up by my father.

138
00:05:21,886 --> 00:05:23,714
I never thought I'’d let
my family set me up, either,

139
00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:25,934
but I'’m 34,
I'’d like to have kids

140
00:05:25,977 --> 00:05:27,805
and it'’s hard to date
because I work so much.

141
00:05:27,849 --> 00:05:29,807
Oh, yes, uh, you'’re a concierge.

142
00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:32,636
For now. I plan to be managing
a hotel in the next five years.

143
00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:36,161
Four, if I can get the current
manager out of the way.

144
00:05:36,205 --> 00:05:38,990
He'’s a smoker,
so fingers crossed.

145
00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:42,385
I-I get it. You know, um,
I used to have a long list

146
00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:43,908
of what I wanted from a wife.

147
00:05:43,952 --> 00:05:45,432
Uh, eyes like

148
00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:48,260
Sandra Bullock,
hair like Sandra Bullock,

149
00:05:48,304 --> 00:05:50,350
and the bravery of Ryan Stone.

150
00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:52,308
That'’s Sandra Bullock's
character in Gravity.

151
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,092
But now,

152
00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:56,007
I-I just want someone nice.

153
00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:58,619
I think I'’m nice. Are you nice?

154
00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:00,229
Oh, I'’m definitely nice.

155
00:06:00,272 --> 00:06:02,449
Every time a girl breaks up
with me she always starts with,

156
00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:04,320
"You'’re a nice guy."

157
00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:08,237
Look, your whole sweet,
insecure thing is cute,

158
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,500
but honestly,
I have no time for that.

159
00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:11,893
If you'’re not
serious about this,

160
00:06:11,936 --> 00:06:13,416
you need to walk away now.

161
00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:15,418
I-I am serious.

162
00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:17,289
Good.

163
00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:18,769
Okay.
[CHUCKLES]

164
00:06:18,813 --> 00:06:21,206
O-Okay, w-what does this mean?

165
00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:24,079
I think it means I might be
the future Mrs....

166
00:06:24,122 --> 00:06:26,081
Koothrappali.

167
00:06:26,124 --> 00:06:29,345
How would you feel
if I didn'’t change my name?

168
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:32,392
A little hurt, but you wouldn'’t
know, because I'’m too nice.

169
00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:36,874
Hey, want to get lunch?

170
00:06:36,918 --> 00:06:38,572
I can'’t.

171
00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:40,138
Halley and Michael were up all
night, and I'’m way behind here.

172
00:06:40,182 --> 00:06:42,053
Oh, no, are they sick?No.

173
00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:44,621
They were just laughing and
playing like a couple of jerks.

174
00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:49,496
Boy, they'’re cute,
but they ruin everything.

175
00:06:49,539 --> 00:06:51,106
I get that.

176
00:06:51,149 --> 00:06:52,455
You know,
I'’ve been thinking lately

177
00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:54,979
that maybe I don'’t want kids.

178
00:06:55,023 --> 00:06:56,416
Are you crazy?

179
00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:58,809
Of course you want them.
It'’s amazing.

180
00:06:58,853 --> 00:07:00,811
You just said
they ruin everything.

181
00:07:00,855 --> 00:07:03,597
I'’m allowed to. It's their fault
I pee when I laugh.

182
00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:06,338
Hang on, why is it crazy

183
00:07:06,382 --> 00:07:07,818
to say I might not want kids?

184
00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:08,993
Oh, it'’s not crazy.

185
00:07:09,037 --> 00:07:10,908
It'’s just wrong.

186
00:07:10,952 --> 00:07:12,867
You only think
you don'’t want kids,

187
00:07:12,910 --> 00:07:16,174
but once you have kids, you'’ll
realize that you did want them.

188
00:07:16,218 --> 00:07:20,440
Or I don'’t want them, so I won't
have them, so back off.

189
00:07:20,483 --> 00:07:23,138
Aw, you sound just like me
before I became a mom

190
00:07:23,181 --> 00:07:25,662
and learned
what the meaning of love was.

191
00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:28,883
Wow, I cannot believe how
condescending you'’re being.

192
00:07:28,926 --> 00:07:32,669
Look, I know it'’s scary,
but you'’re gonna be a great mom.

193
00:07:32,713 --> 00:07:35,193
I know I'’d be great, but the
point is I don'’t want to be one.

194
00:07:35,237 --> 00:07:37,631
Maybe you wouldn'’t be great.
You kind of got a temper.

195
00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:41,635
You know, not everyone needs
to have kids to be fulfilled.

196
00:07:41,678 --> 00:07:44,681
You'’re right,
you'’ve got Leonard.

197
00:07:44,725 --> 00:07:46,640
What more do you need?

198
00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:50,470
Hey, guys.Hello.
Hey.

199
00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:52,123
How was your date?

200
00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:54,343
Ah, let me answer that
with a question.

201
00:07:54,386 --> 00:07:56,301
How would you like to be
my best man?

202
00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,217
[LAUGHS SOFTLY]
Wait, you'’re not seriously

203
00:07:59,261 --> 00:08:00,871
marrying a woman
you'’ve met once.

204
00:08:00,915 --> 00:08:04,092
Why not? She'’s nice, I'm nice.

205
00:08:04,135 --> 00:08:06,921
We'’re just as likely to be happy
as any other two people.

206
00:08:06,964 --> 00:08:08,270
Maybe even happier.

207
00:08:08,313 --> 00:08:09,880
Sorry, that was not
a swipe at you.

208
00:08:12,274 --> 00:08:14,232
I didn'’t think it was.

209
00:08:14,276 --> 00:08:15,886
Yeah, good, '’cause it was not.

210
00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:17,540
SHELDON:
Well, I, for one,

211
00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:20,282
applaud Raj'’s decision to
forgo emotional attachment

212
00:08:20,325 --> 00:08:22,589
and find a life
partner by bowing

213
00:08:22,632 --> 00:08:25,809
to a 3,000-year-old
authoritarian tradition.

214
00:08:25,853 --> 00:08:27,071
What are you talking about?

215
00:08:27,115 --> 00:08:28,551
You married a woman
you'’re in love with.

216
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:31,249
I can'’t believe you're throwing
that back in my face.

217
00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,470
Why can'’t you just be
happy for me?

218
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,906
Because you'’re being dumb.

219
00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:37,473
You don'’t know anything
about her.

220
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,083
W-Well, how come you all
get to be married

221
00:08:39,127 --> 00:08:40,824
and I have to stay single?

222
00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:43,392
I think that'’s a question
for a licensed professional.

223
00:08:43,435 --> 00:08:45,873
You know what, you'’re not
just insulting me.

224
00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:48,440
Okay? You'’re insulting
my family, my culture

225
00:08:48,484 --> 00:08:50,138
and my future bride, Anu,

226
00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:52,401
a vegetarian with
a master'’s degree from Cornell

227
00:08:52,444 --> 00:08:53,750
whose favorite fruit
is pineapple.

228
00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:59,887
Now, I'’m not sure if this helps,
but did you know

229
00:08:59,930 --> 00:09:01,802
that pineapples
were once so rare

230
00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:04,282
that King Charles posed
for a portrait with one?

231
00:09:04,326 --> 00:09:05,849
How does that help?

232
00:09:05,893 --> 00:09:07,372
Oh, it helped me.
I'’ve been trying to slide that

233
00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:09,113
into a conversation for years.

234
00:09:12,116 --> 00:09:13,727
[DOOR CLOSES]

235
00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:15,250
Hey, honey,
how was your day?

236
00:09:15,293 --> 00:09:16,425
[GROANS]

237
00:09:16,468 --> 00:09:17,339
What'’s wrong?

238
00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:19,950
Raj is talking about

239
00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:21,865
marrying this woman
he just met.

240
00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:25,956
I told him it was dumb,
and now he'’s mad at me.

241
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,958
The same thing
happened to me.

242
00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:29,394
Penny said she
didn'’t want kids,

243
00:09:29,438 --> 00:09:30,657
and I told her
she was being silly,

244
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:32,659
and she accused me
of being condescending.

245
00:09:32,702 --> 00:09:34,791
Which is crazy, because
if I wanted to be condescending,

246
00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:36,488
I would'’ve said,
"Ooh, '’condescending.'

247
00:09:36,532 --> 00:09:39,274
That'’s such a big word."

248
00:09:41,102 --> 00:09:42,494
Why won'’t our friends
just listen to us?

249
00:09:42,538 --> 00:09:44,496
We obviously know what
we'’re talking about.

250
00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:45,715
I know.

251
00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:48,152
We'’re married,
we have great kids,

252
00:09:48,196 --> 00:09:49,763
great jobs,
this great house.

253
00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:51,503
♪ Smooth operator

254
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,378
♪ Smooth operator...

255
00:09:57,509 --> 00:10:01,122
♪ Smooth operator

256
00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:05,300
♪ Smooth operator...

257
00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:09,609
♪ Coast to coast,
L.A. to Chicago ♪

258
00:10:09,652 --> 00:10:13,700
♪ Western male.

259
00:10:16,224 --> 00:10:18,574
Hey, Leonard,
remember yesterday

260
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,968
when we were talking about
having kids someday?
Yeah?

261
00:10:21,011 --> 00:10:23,057
Well, what if it wasn'’t someday.

262
00:10:26,974 --> 00:10:29,454
Oh, my God.

263
00:10:31,065 --> 00:10:32,588
Oh, my God, are you pregnant?

264
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:35,504
No. No. No, no. No, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no.

265
00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:37,375
So?

266
00:10:37,419 --> 00:10:39,160
No.
Oh.

267
00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:41,249
What I meant was,

268
00:10:41,292 --> 00:10:43,338
what if, what if we
didn'’t have kids?

269
00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:45,209
Ever?

270
00:10:45,253 --> 00:10:46,950
I mean, our life
is so great.

271
00:10:46,994 --> 00:10:48,386
Why would we want
to change that?

272
00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:53,130
Sure. Sure.

273
00:10:53,174 --> 00:10:54,436
Sure. [STAMMERS]

274
00:10:54,479 --> 00:10:56,699
And I guess it would
be hard raising kids

275
00:10:56,743 --> 00:11:00,181
in the-the loft you
never told me you wanted.

276
00:11:00,224 --> 00:11:01,922
Well, wait, don'’t be mad.I'’m not mad.

277
00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:03,575
Why would I be mad?

278
00:11:03,619 --> 00:11:06,361
There'’s nothing to be mad at!

279
00:11:06,404 --> 00:11:07,623
You have to-to turn the thing.

280
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,408
I knew that!

281
00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:13,629
AMY: Hi, Leonard.I'’m not mad!

282
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,728
You'’re awfully quiet.

283
00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:29,732
Sorry.No, I like it.

284
00:11:29,776 --> 00:11:32,517
Got a lot on my mind.

285
00:11:32,561 --> 00:11:34,955
Would you like
to talk about it?

286
00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:36,478
Not really.

287
00:11:36,521 --> 00:11:39,263
Grape Nuts for breakfast,
quiet car ride,

288
00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:42,092
things are really
breaking my way today.

289
00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:45,487
It'’s just Penny hit me
with some pretty big news

290
00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:47,402
and it'’s a lot to process.

291
00:11:47,445 --> 00:11:50,535
And you'’d like to do that
quietly. I respect that.

292
00:11:50,579 --> 00:11:53,625
She said she doesn'’t want
to have kids.

293
00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:55,627
Maybe she didn'’t mean it,

294
00:11:55,671 --> 00:11:58,935
like when you said you didn'’t
want to talk about this.

295
00:11:58,979 --> 00:12:00,589
Forget it.

296
00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:07,335
Do you want
to have children?

297
00:12:07,378 --> 00:12:10,120
Well, I always assumed we would
and now I find out, you know,

298
00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:13,733
I might be the last
of the Hofstadter line.

299
00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:15,473
Doesn'’t your brother
have children?

300
00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:17,345
And your sister.
She kept the Hofstadter name

301
00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:18,650
and has five healthy boys:

302
00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:22,350
Neil, Jeffrey, Scott,
William and baby Richard.

303
00:12:22,393 --> 00:12:24,961
I'’m going back to being quiet.

304
00:12:25,005 --> 00:12:26,615
Sweet.

305
00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:33,578
Hey. Mind if I sit?

306
00:12:33,622 --> 00:12:37,887
Did you just come here to tell
me I'’m making a gigantic mistake

307
00:12:37,931 --> 00:12:39,628
by having this blueberry muffin

308
00:12:39,671 --> 00:12:41,238
and I should'’ve got
a cinnamon roll like you did?

309
00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:42,500
No.

310
00:12:42,544 --> 00:12:44,415
Good, '’cause I'm happy
with my choice.

311
00:12:44,459 --> 00:12:46,809
Although that cinnamon
roll does smell good

312
00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:48,768
if you'’re open to halfsies.

313
00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:52,075
Fine.
Thanks.

314
00:12:52,119 --> 00:12:54,948
Look, I'’m sorry
about yesterday.

315
00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:56,210
You'’re right.
I-I was being...

316
00:12:56,253 --> 00:12:59,430
Oh, my God,
that is so good!

317
00:12:59,474 --> 00:13:00,780
I can wait.

318
00:13:00,823 --> 00:13:01,911
No... [CLEARS THROAT]
Sorry.

319
00:13:01,955 --> 00:13:04,087
Go on.

320
00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:06,829
I'’ve known you a long time.

321
00:13:06,873 --> 00:13:10,964
You believe in romance more than
any person I'’ve ever met

322
00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:14,532
and it'’s hard to see you
give up on that.

323
00:13:14,576 --> 00:13:17,797
But if you really think
marrying this woman

324
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,102
is gonna make you happy,

325
00:13:19,146 --> 00:13:21,322
then you have my complete
and total support.

326
00:13:21,365 --> 00:13:23,454
I will be with you
every step of the way.

327
00:13:23,498 --> 00:13:26,414
Thanks, Howard.
That means a lot.

328
00:13:26,457 --> 00:13:29,286
So, hey, is this wedding
gonna be in India?

329
00:13:29,330 --> 00:13:30,287
Ah, maybe.

330
00:13:30,331 --> 00:13:31,723
Ugh.

331
00:13:35,727 --> 00:13:38,861
What the hell, Penny?!

332
00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:41,429
I'’m gonna need more than that.

333
00:13:41,472 --> 00:13:42,996
You'’re not having kids?

334
00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:45,041
How could you do this to me?

335
00:13:45,085 --> 00:13:47,000
How is it any of your business?

336
00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:49,959
Because your kids were supposed
to be friends with my kids.

337
00:13:50,003 --> 00:13:52,875
Who'’s gonna be friends
with them now?

338
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:55,791
They will find other friends.

339
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,446
Oh, sure, '’cause
Sheldon'’s DNA plus my DNA

340
00:13:58,489 --> 00:14:01,101
equals a kid who knows
how to make friends. Grow up!

341
00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:04,887
This is between me and Leonard.

342
00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:07,890
Screw Leonard! We were supposed
to get pregnant together.

343
00:14:07,934 --> 00:14:09,892
We were gonna
be barf buddies.

344
00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:11,676
We were supposed to massage
each other'’s perineums

345
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,461
with vitamin E.

346
00:14:13,504 --> 00:14:16,943
I'’m about to be
your barf buddy right now.

347
00:14:16,986 --> 00:14:18,292
Listen, when you have kids,

348
00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:19,902
I'’m still gonna be there.

349
00:14:19,946 --> 00:14:21,512
I'’m gonna be their fun Aunt
Penny who gives them candy,

350
00:14:21,556 --> 00:14:23,123
and teaches them swear words

351
00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:26,126
and tells them stories about
what a weirdo their mother is.

352
00:14:27,649 --> 00:14:29,825
I guess I could live with that.

353
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:35,875
What is gonna be hard is
letting go of the dream

354
00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:39,313
of us breastfeeding
each other'’s babies.

355
00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:48,061
And it'’s gonna be hard
to forget you said that.

356
00:14:48,104 --> 00:14:50,367
No.

357
00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:57,026
What would you say
if I told you

358
00:14:57,070 --> 00:15:01,422
I was totally naked
under this robe?

359
00:15:01,465 --> 00:15:04,120
I would say that sounds
pretty good.

360
00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:07,123
Really? Well, I did not
see that coming.

361
00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:08,646
One second.

362
00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:12,999
♪ Smooth operator

363
00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:15,088
Oh, come on.

364
00:15:15,131 --> 00:15:17,264
Wait. Stay in the mood.

365
00:15:17,307 --> 00:15:21,877
I'’ll put on our own music
and drown them out.

366
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,661
♪ You want a hot body?

367
00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:24,967
What'’s this?

368
00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:27,056
It'’s from my workout mix.

369
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:29,493
It'’s what I listen to when
I'’m firming up my glutes.

370
00:15:29,537 --> 00:15:31,974
[NEIL CRYING]

371
00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:33,758
Can you get him?

372
00:15:33,802 --> 00:15:34,890
Sure.

373
00:15:38,459 --> 00:15:40,504
Hey, Howard.
Yeah?

374
00:15:40,548 --> 00:15:44,291
It looks like you could crack
a walnut in those glutes.

375
00:15:44,334 --> 00:15:46,989
I can'’t. I tried.

376
00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:52,995
Hey.

377
00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:55,389
Hey.I-I made you dinner.

378
00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:59,523
Your favorite: In-N-Out Burger
out of the wrapper on a plate.

379
00:15:59,567 --> 00:16:02,178
Thank you, but you don'’t
have to do this. I'’m fine.

380
00:16:02,222 --> 00:16:06,661
I-I know it'’s not a baby, but it
does leak when you pick it up.

381
00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:10,099
Really? We'’re joking
about this now?

382
00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:11,448
No, look, I'’m sorry.

383
00:16:11,492 --> 00:16:13,363
I didn'’t mean to just
drop all of this on you.

384
00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:15,757
I-It just took me
by surprise.

385
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,454
I-I always imagined
having kids.

386
00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:18,629
I know you did.

387
00:16:18,673 --> 00:16:21,023
But I'’ve imagined having
a lot of things

388
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,329
that I'’m never gonna get:

389
00:16:22,372 --> 00:16:27,551
a Nobel Prize,
a working Batmobile.

390
00:16:27,595 --> 00:16:32,034
But I also have a lot that
I never thought I'’d have...

391
00:16:32,078 --> 00:16:33,383
like you.

392
00:16:33,427 --> 00:16:35,864
Are you sure
that'’s enough?

393
00:16:35,907 --> 00:16:37,170
Yeah.

394
00:16:37,213 --> 00:16:39,824
You'’re really
okay with this?
I am.

395
00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:42,044
[RINGTONE PLAYS]

396
00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:43,393
Hey, Daddy.

397
00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:44,699
What'’s this Leonard says

398
00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:47,093
about you not wanting
to give me grandbabies?

399
00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:52,794
He might feel
differently. Bye.

400
00:16:56,406 --> 00:16:58,278
I told my parents
our first date went well

401
00:16:58,321 --> 00:16:59,714
and they got very excited.

402
00:16:59,757 --> 00:17:01,063
Oh, tell me about it.

403
00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:02,282
My parents
were so thrilled,

404
00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:04,719
they actually spoke
to each other.

405
00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:07,896
So that was a disaster.

406
00:17:07,939 --> 00:17:10,768
Cheers. [CLEARS THROAT]

407
00:17:10,812 --> 00:17:13,815
Okay. I guess if we'’re going
forward with this wedding,

408
00:17:13,858 --> 00:17:15,469
we should talk about
the next steps.

409
00:17:15,512 --> 00:17:17,601
Oh, like themes and flowers?

410
00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:20,082
Actually, finances
and taxes.

411
00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:22,171
Oh. We can'’t use that.

412
00:17:22,215 --> 00:17:24,652
That was the theme
of my parents'’ divorce.

413
00:17:24,695 --> 00:17:26,828
I know that money can
be a source of friction

414
00:17:26,871 --> 00:17:28,656
in a new marriage and I
want us to avoid that.

415
00:17:28,699 --> 00:17:30,179
Of course. Yeah, right.

416
00:17:30,223 --> 00:17:31,659
That'’s s-smart.

417
00:17:31,702 --> 00:17:33,095
So, my accountant
feels strongly

418
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:35,315
that we should file
separately the first year

419
00:17:35,358 --> 00:17:37,404
and then we can re-evaluate
based on our joint assets.

420
00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:41,103
You okay?

421
00:17:41,147 --> 00:17:44,063
No, I can'’t do this.

422
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:45,629
Why not?

423
00:17:45,673 --> 00:17:47,588
Th-There'’s something
you may not know about me

424
00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:50,591
'’cause, you know,
we'’ve only met once, but...

425
00:17:50,634 --> 00:17:52,549
I'’m a hopeless romantic.

426
00:17:52,593 --> 00:17:55,117
And you seem great

427
00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:56,466
and I do want
to get married.

428
00:17:56,510 --> 00:17:59,643
I-I do want
to settle down, but...

429
00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:04,300
this isn'’t the story that
I want to tell my grandkids.

430
00:18:04,344 --> 00:18:06,868
I understand.

431
00:18:06,911 --> 00:18:09,827
I'’m so sorry if
I wasted your time.

432
00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:16,573
Raj.

433
00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:19,228
I know we don'’t know
each other very well,

434
00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:21,665
but you seem like
you'’d make a good father

435
00:18:21,709 --> 00:18:25,582
and you'’re tall enough
so I can wear heels and...

436
00:18:25,626 --> 00:18:29,412
I think that'’s something
worth fighting for.

437
00:18:36,941 --> 00:18:38,508
Will you marry me?

438
00:18:38,552 --> 00:18:40,336
[STAMMERS] Oh, my God,
oh, my God.

439
00:18:40,380 --> 00:18:41,946
Yes, of course, of course
I'’ll marry you!

440
00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:49,258
If you'’d like to
kiss me you can.
Oh, great.

441
00:18:49,302 --> 00:18:51,042
I should warn you I have
a tongue piercing.

442
00:18:51,086 --> 00:18:52,870
Oh, you'’re not that nice.

443
00:18:52,914 --> 00:18:54,742
[BOTH LAUGH]

444
00:19:01,314 --> 00:19:03,054
Are you gonna tell me
where we'’re going?

445
00:19:03,098 --> 00:19:05,405
Because if it has the words
"farmers" or "market" in it,

446
00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:06,754
I don'’t want to go.

447
00:19:06,797 --> 00:19:08,756
You were talking
about all the things

448
00:19:08,799 --> 00:19:10,323
you thought you
would never have,

449
00:19:10,366 --> 00:19:13,804
so I thought I
would get you one.

450
00:19:17,504 --> 00:19:20,028
Oh, my God.
You bought me the Batmobile?!

451
00:19:20,071 --> 00:19:21,769
No. No.

452
00:19:21,812 --> 00:19:23,292
No, no, no, no, no.

453
00:19:23,336 --> 00:19:27,166
I rented you the
Batmobile for the day.

454
00:19:27,209 --> 00:19:29,733
This is amazing.
Thank you.

455
00:19:29,777 --> 00:19:32,562
[LAUGHS]

456
00:19:32,606 --> 00:19:35,130
B-Be careful.
I-I did not get the insurance.

457
00:19:36,784 --> 00:19:39,352
[ENGINE STARTS, REVS]

458
00:19:39,395 --> 00:19:41,528
[CHUCKLES]

459
00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:52,495
Come on, Robin!

460
00:19:57,544 --> 00:19:59,502
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

461
00:19:59,546 --> 00:20:03,506
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION

462
00:20:03,550 --> 00:20:06,509
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org