1
00:00:02,536 --> 00:00:04,036
But I think, by the
end of the honeymoon,
2
00:00:04,071 --> 00:00:06,671
we really started to feel
like a married couple.
3
00:00:06,706 --> 00:00:08,874
But the good kind,
like on TV,
4
00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:11,009
not like my parents.
Yeah.
5
00:00:11,044 --> 00:00:12,677
You're not a real married couple
until you can pee
6
00:00:12,712 --> 00:00:15,214
with the door open
and she's okay with it.
7
00:00:16,316 --> 00:00:18,884
I told you, I'm
not okay with it.
8
00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:21,286
She loves it.
9
00:00:21,321 --> 00:00:25,023
So, we got everybody gifts.
10
00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:26,425
Aw.
11
00:00:27,394 --> 00:00:28,994
Did you forget about us
12
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,862
until you were at the airport?
13
00:00:30,897 --> 00:00:32,130
No.
14
00:00:32,165 --> 00:00:34,433
We forgot about you
until we were on the plane.
15
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:35,834
Luckily,
there was Wi-Fi,
16
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,669
and I have Amazon Prime.
17
00:00:39,339 --> 00:00:40,672
I heart New York.
18
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,642
Aw, the baby's gonna love
throwing up on this.
19
00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:45,577
Look, it doesn't have
to just be New York.
20
00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:47,045
That's the beauty of it.
21
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:50,315
Uh, the initials "N.Y."
can stand for anything you like.
22
00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:51,750
For instance, I
understand that there is
23
00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:54,286
an elderly rock-and-roll
musician named Neil Young.
24
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:55,754
Perhaps you heart him.
25
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:59,391
Or if not him, Egyptian
table tennis silver medalist
26
00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:01,393
Noha Yossry.
27
00:01:01,428 --> 00:01:02,594
Or Nana Yamaguchi,
28
00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:04,596
the Japanese voice actress
29
00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:07,299
who starred in
Sally the Witch.
30
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:09,734
Did you just google
the initials "N.Y."?
31
00:01:09,769 --> 00:01:11,336
I had Wi-Fi and a
long plane flight.
32
00:01:11,371 --> 00:01:13,038
Draw your own
conclusions.
33
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:17,543
Well, guys, that was very,
very thoughtful of you. I...
34
00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:22,447
Did you get me a double XL?
35
00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:24,550
I told you.
You were right, dear.
36
00:01:24,422 --> 00:01:29,422
37
00:01:46,525 --> 00:01:52,525
38
00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:55,947
Sheldon, that's not how
you write a thank you card.
39
00:01:55,982 --> 00:01:57,349
What's wrong with it?
40
00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:59,484
"Dear Aunt Helen,
41
00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:01,887
"thank you so much for
the lovely place setting.
42
00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:03,755
"If my handwriting
looks strained,
43
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:06,124
"that is because this is
the 16th thank you card
44
00:02:06,159 --> 00:02:08,660
"Amy has forced me to write.
45
00:02:08,695 --> 00:02:11,463
"The muscles in my
wrist are cramping
46
00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:15,100
"as I struggle to
finish this sentence.
47
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,102
"Ow, ow, oh, the pain.
48
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,237
Love, Sheldon."
49
00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:21,806
Fine.
50
00:02:21,841 --> 00:02:23,775
"And Amy."
51
00:02:24,844 --> 00:02:26,545
Ow.
52
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:29,381
This one is from
Leonard and Penny.
53
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:30,682
Aw.
54
00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:33,652
"The perfect gift for
the perfect couple."
55
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:36,755
Save that card. We may need
to throw it back in their faces.
56
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,124
I wonder what it could be.
57
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,625
Oh, could be anything.
58
00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:43,028
A flute, a letter opener,
59
00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:44,162
one of those pens
60
00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:46,798
where you put the bikini
back on the naked lady.
61
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,134
Oh.
62
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,703
Isn't this nice?
63
00:02:54,407 --> 00:02:55,373
What is it?
64
00:02:55,408 --> 00:02:57,042
You know, it's, uh,
65
00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:59,011
it's one of those...
66
00:03:01,314 --> 00:03:04,282
Nope, doesn't do that.
67
00:03:04,317 --> 00:03:05,750
Oh, maybe it's candy.
68
00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:07,953
Lick it.
69
00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:10,088
I don't want to
lick it. You lick it.
70
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:12,557
I'm not gonna lick it.
I just brushed my teeth.
71
00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:14,793
Is it from one of
your dumb sci-fi shows?
72
00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:17,662
Uh, none of the sci-fi shows
I watch are dumb.
73
00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:20,098
Sheldon...
Okay, Westworld.
74
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,700
But this has nothing
to do with that show,
75
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,969
other than it's
also inexplicable.
76
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,670
Well, Leonard and Penny
are our best friends.
77
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:26,972
They know us
better than anyone.
78
00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:28,807
They said it's
the perfect gift.
79
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:31,109
We must be
missing something.
80
00:03:38,351 --> 00:03:39,451
You don't...
81
00:03:39,486 --> 00:03:43,689
think it's a marital
aid, do you?
82
00:03:44,924 --> 00:03:46,191
Don't be silly.
83
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:50,696
Amy, how is this big glass shaft
going to aid our marriage?
84
00:03:54,501 --> 00:03:55,900
Do you think
when Krypto the Superdog
85
00:03:55,935 --> 00:03:58,536
is out flying,
Superman has to fly after him
86
00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:00,472
with a little baggie?
87
00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:03,475
Hmm. Haven't really
thought about it before.
88
00:04:03,510 --> 00:04:05,010
But he doesn't
need a baggie,
89
00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:08,913
because he just blasts the
poop with his heat vision.
90
00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:10,282
You've thought about it before.
91
00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:12,284
Oh, I've thought
about it a lot.
(chuckles)
92
00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:20,992
What is wrong
with Stuart's face?
93
00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:23,862
I think he's smiling.
94
00:04:24,964 --> 00:04:26,631
Oh, my God, are
they flirting?
95
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:28,099
Oh, they're
way past flirting.
96
00:04:28,134 --> 00:04:31,102
I caught them making out
at Sheldon's wedding.
97
00:04:31,137 --> 00:04:35,407
Are you sure she wasn't trying
to breathe life back into him?
98
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:36,675
I don't think so.
99
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,343
When I used that much tongue
at CPR training,
100
00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:41,379
I had to buy the dummy.
101
00:04:41,414 --> 00:04:42,981
Ooh, I have class.
102
00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:43,982
I should go.
103
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:45,250
Oh. Okay.
104
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,152
Bye.
Bye.
105
00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:57,529
See ya, guys.
106
00:04:57,564 --> 00:04:59,531
Bye.
Bye.
107
00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:02,667
So, what's her deal?
108
00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:05,970
Is she into you or does
she just hate her parents?
109
00:05:06,005 --> 00:05:06,938
I-I don't know.
110
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:09,107
We kissed a little
at the wedding,
111
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,375
and it was great.
112
00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:12,077
But we haven't really talked
about it since then.
113
00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:14,679
So I-I don't know
how she feels about me.
114
00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:16,281
Well, she patted you
on the head,
115
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:20,018
so I'm guessing she feels
like you're such a good boy!
116
00:05:21,721 --> 00:05:24,289
Seriously, do you think
I should ask her out?
117
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,657
A-Absolutely.
118
00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:27,125
Don't let love get away.
119
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,362
It is the most important thing
in the world.
120
00:05:30,397 --> 00:05:31,963
Without it,
life is
121
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:34,432
dark and meaningless
and all you're left with
122
00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:35,967
is the judgmental gaze
of your dog
123
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:40,004
as you finish off a bag
of Doritos on the toilet.
124
00:05:40,039 --> 00:05:41,439
Thanks.
125
00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:43,842
You're a real good pal.
126
00:05:44,744 --> 00:05:47,179
And now you're
a good boy!
127
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,287
I can't stop thinking
about that present.
128
00:05:56,322 --> 00:05:57,522
It's driving me crazy.
129
00:05:57,557 --> 00:05:58,757
Me, too!
130
00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:00,525
The card said it was
the perfect gift.
131
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,795
But it's not a dinosaur fossil
or matching pocket watches,
132
00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:06,398
so I don't see
how it can be.
133
00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:07,665
Maybe we're trying too hard.
134
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:09,134
Maybe it's something simple.
135
00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:10,468
(gasps) Like
Leonard and Penny.
136
00:06:10,503 --> 00:06:12,036
Yes, good.
137
00:06:12,071 --> 00:06:14,372
We just need to
think like them.
138
00:06:14,407 --> 00:06:16,741
(inhales, exhales)
Okay.
139
00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:19,544
What gift can I get us
140
00:06:19,579 --> 00:06:25,283
to express how grateful we are
to have us in their lives?
141
00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:27,485
Way to make it simple.
142
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:28,720
I'm just gonna ask them.
143
00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:31,356
No, you can't;
it'll hurt their feelings.
144
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,857
I'm okay with that.
145
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:34,359
And they'll know
you weren't smart enough
146
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,627
to figure it out
on your own.
147
00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:38,129
You're right.
Oh, this is awful.
148
00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:40,165
And I can't even comfort
myself by stroking
149
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:43,768
the fossilized tibia
of a Pentaceratops.
150
00:06:43,803 --> 00:06:45,270
Let's just go to sleep.
151
00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:47,472
We'll look at it in the morning
with fresh eyes,
152
00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:48,940
and maybe it'll come to us.
153
00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:49,941
Fine.
154
00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:59,017
Or we go tear apart that box
and look for a clue.
155
00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:01,319
Staying up past my bedtime
and solving mysteries?
156
00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:03,388
Who knew married life
could be this good?
157
00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:12,597
What's wrong
with his face?
158
00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:14,499
A lot of people have
been asking that.
159
00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:16,168
He's... smiling.
160
00:07:18,571 --> 00:07:20,104
Hey, Stuart,
you look pretty happy.
161
00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:21,105
Oh, yeah.
162
00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:23,575
I, uh, asked Denise out
on a date,
163
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,810
and she said yes.
Aw.
164
00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:27,245
That's great.
165
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,980
But don't smile like that
in front of Halley.
166
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:31,483
She just started sleeping
through the night.
167
00:07:31,518 --> 00:07:33,017
Sorry. I'm excited.
168
00:07:33,052 --> 00:07:36,221
I haven't been on a date
in a long time.
169
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:37,889
Back when I was dating,
I'd always wear
170
00:07:37,924 --> 00:07:39,591
a new pair of underwear,
just in case.
171
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:43,294
It's also been a long time
since I bought new underwear.
172
00:07:43,329 --> 00:07:44,529
And I probably should,
173
00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:48,700
because these are no longer
tighty nor whitey.
174
00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:50,202
Okay, I'm out.
175
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,438
If there's a chance
someone's gonna see you naked,
176
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:57,141
it's also polite to make sure
you're well-groomed down there.
177
00:07:57,176 --> 00:08:00,145
I get it, Howard.
I've been busy!
178
00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:04,649
Hello.
179
00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:06,117
Hey.
I just wanted
180
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:09,020
to pop over and hand-deliver
this thank you note
181
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:11,723
for your very thoughtful
wedding gift.
PENNY: Oh.
182
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:13,124
Oh, good. You
guys liked it?
183
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:16,461
Well, we liked it a lot more
184
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,962
I'll tell you that.
185
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:19,430
Well, yeah, that's great.
186
00:08:19,465 --> 00:08:21,432
Because when we saw it,
we thought, "Amy and Sheldon
187
00:08:21,467 --> 00:08:22,767
just have to have that."
188
00:08:22,802 --> 00:08:24,402
Oh, do tell.
Now, paint a picture for me,
189
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:26,271
like where you were
when you found it
190
00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:29,441
and what you thought
we'd enjoy doing with it.
191
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:32,644
Do you not know what it is?
192
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:33,945
PENNY:
Of course he knows
193
00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:37,215
what it is. He's
the smartest man in the world.
194
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,884
Well, I don't know
about the world.
195
00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:42,854
Some of those Chinese fellas
are pretty clever.
196
00:08:42,889 --> 00:08:44,856
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm going
197
00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:46,891
to return home and use your gift
198
00:08:46,926 --> 00:08:49,794
in the manner
which it was intended.
199
00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:54,632
He-He's never gonna
figure it out.
200
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:56,634
I know.
(thumping)
201
00:08:56,669 --> 00:08:58,770
SHELDON:
What are you?!
202
00:08:59,772 --> 00:09:02,106
Gosh, this makes me happy.
Yeah.
203
00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:07,512
Howard, I don't
often say this,
204
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,347
but, good, you're here. Now,
205
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,015
do you know
206
00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:13,318
what Leonard and Penny got
us for our wedding gift?
207
00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:14,652
Well...
(stammers)
Don't answer.
208
00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:15,853
I don't want to know.
209
00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:17,522
I just want to
know if you know.
210
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,923
I do know.
Okay, great.
211
00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:21,259
I believe that Amy and
I have figured it out.
212
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:23,528
Is it a clue to
a scavenger hunt
213
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,364
that will lead us
to the actual present?
214
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,632
If you're asking
215
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:30,101
if you and Amy should spend
the next couple days
216
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:32,737
running all over town searching
for the next clue,
217
00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:35,773
I'm gonna have to say yes.
218
00:09:35,808 --> 00:09:36,774
I knew it!
219
00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:38,176
This is so much fun.
220
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:40,678
Oh, it really is.
(chuckles)
221
00:09:40,713 --> 00:09:42,213
Oh, Leonard,
thank you again.
222
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:45,216
We love the gift.
Aw.
223
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:47,552
Does he know what it is?
No, not even close.
224
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,687
He thinks it's a clue
to a scavenger hunt.
225
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:53,191
So, so happy.
226
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,026
Well, what is it?
What did you give them?
227
00:09:55,061 --> 00:09:57,395
Oh, i-it's just this
dumb crystal wand
228
00:09:57,430 --> 00:10:00,064
that Howard and Bernadette
gave us for our wedding.
229
00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:01,532
Penny and I
made each other miserable
230
00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:03,534
trying to figure out
what it was, and we thought,
231
00:10:03,569 --> 00:10:07,705
"Why not pass that fun along
to Sheldon and Amy."
232
00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:09,073
Wait a minute. Did--
233
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:11,342
did you give them the
crystal chakra wand
234
00:10:11,377 --> 00:10:13,845
that I gave you
for your wedding?
235
00:10:15,314 --> 00:10:18,082
Yeah, that's exactly
what we did.
236
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:20,718
You said you liked it!
237
00:10:20,753 --> 00:10:23,154
Yeah, that's exactly
what I said.
238
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:31,763
Wow. A scavenger hunt.
239
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,631
That's exciting.
240
00:10:33,666 --> 00:10:36,200
I had a bit of a scavenger hunt
myself last night.
241
00:10:36,235 --> 00:10:37,435
I was trying
to find the remote.
242
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,937
I looked under
one of the cushions.
243
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:41,305
Wasn't there.
244
00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:43,675
Then I lifted the cushion
a little higher.
245
00:10:43,710 --> 00:10:45,710
Bingo.
246
00:10:45,745 --> 00:10:47,512
Riveting.
247
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:50,181
So, do you know what it is?
248
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:51,883
Of course I know what it is.
249
00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:55,253
It's a silicon dioxide crystal,
otherwise known as quartz.
250
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:57,221
Are you sure?
251
00:10:57,256 --> 00:11:01,192
Am I sure? Is basalt a mafic
extrusive igneous rock formed
252
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:04,762
by the rapid cooling
of magnesium and iron-rich lava?
253
00:11:04,797 --> 00:11:06,531
Yeah, I'm sure.
254
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:08,700
Okay, so it's quartz.
255
00:11:08,735 --> 00:11:10,368
That's got
to mean something.
256
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:12,036
What do we know
about quartz?
257
00:11:12,071 --> 00:11:13,171
I'll google it.
258
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:15,006
Or you can ask me, the geologist
259
00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:17,108
who won the MacArthur
Genius Grant.
260
00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:19,577
Got it!
261
00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:21,746
Quartz, from the
German "quarz"
262
00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:25,083
which sounds the same, but
is spelled without a "T".
263
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:28,786
Interesting. No "T".
264
00:11:28,821 --> 00:11:31,155
What is not "T"?
265
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:32,690
Coffee!
266
00:11:32,725 --> 00:11:35,259
The coffee shop
where we first met!
267
00:11:35,294 --> 00:11:37,862
All right, let's go.
Sorry.
268
00:11:37,897 --> 00:11:41,866
I think I just had an adrenaline
rush from having visitors.
269
00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:48,906
Hey, Raj, will you, um,
smell something for me?
270
00:11:48,941 --> 00:11:50,608
Uh, that depends.
271
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:53,144
Actually, it doesn't depend.
Just no.
272
00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:57,148
I'm trying out some new colognes
for my date with Denise.
273
00:11:57,183 --> 00:11:58,716
Oh, and you just came over here
274
00:11:58,751 --> 00:12:00,952
to rub it in my face
that you have a date?
No.
275
00:12:00,987 --> 00:12:02,887
I came over here
because I need advice,
276
00:12:02,922 --> 00:12:06,023
and you've gone out with
more women than anybody I know.
277
00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:07,759
Huh. I guess you're right.
278
00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:10,495
Sheldon's the smart one,
Howard's the funny one,
279
00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:13,364
and apparently,
I'm the ladies' man.
280
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:15,166
Which one's Leonard?
281
00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:16,467
Oh, yeah, right.
282
00:12:16,502 --> 00:12:18,136
I guess Leonard's
the forgettable one.
283
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:20,037
Okay, let's have a whiff.
284
00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:21,739
Oh.
285
00:12:21,774 --> 00:12:25,042
(sniffs)
Hmm. Smells like Paco Rabanne.
286
00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:27,578
Ooh, you're good.
I bought it at a swap meet.
287
00:12:27,613 --> 00:12:30,248
It's actually called
"Smells Like Paco Rabanne."
288
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,250
It's great.
She's gonna love it.
289
00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:33,785
I hope so.
290
00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:36,988
I really like Denise, and I
don't want to screw this up.
291
00:12:37,023 --> 00:12:38,489
Hey, relax.
292
00:12:38,524 --> 00:12:41,025
Trust your instincts.
That's what I do.
293
00:12:42,128 --> 00:12:44,095
And that works for you?
294
00:12:46,165 --> 00:12:49,100
Actually... no.
295
00:12:50,636 --> 00:12:52,603
I've made a mess of my life,
and I'm...
296
00:12:52,638 --> 00:12:54,906
I'm all alone.
297
00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:01,145
Okay, I think
it'd be best for both of us
298
00:13:01,180 --> 00:13:04,716
if I pretend to get
a phone call and just walk away.
299
00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:08,019
Yeah, that would be best.
300
00:13:08,054 --> 00:13:10,655
Hello. This is Stuart.
301
00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:12,857
(whispering):
Sorry. I got to take this.
302
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,928
Uh, why, yes, I'd
love to take a survey.
303
00:13:21,667 --> 00:13:23,768
Okay, this is where
we first met.
304
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,436
There's got to be a clue
here somewhere.
305
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:27,005
(gasps) We sat at that table.
306
00:13:29,075 --> 00:13:30,775
Excuse me.
307
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,643
I'm sorry.
We're on a scavenger hunt.
308
00:13:32,678 --> 00:13:34,045
Just pretend
we're not here.
309
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:34,846
Oh, I found something!
310
00:13:34,881 --> 00:13:36,014
(shrieks)
It's gum.
311
00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:41,118
Maybe they left it
behind the counter.
312
00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:45,590
I met my wife here,
and we sat at this very table,
313
00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,725
so if you play your cards right,
in eight years,
314
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,160
you could marry this woman.
315
00:13:49,195 --> 00:13:50,995
That's my sister.
316
00:13:52,965 --> 00:13:54,999
Well, don't tell people.
That's not okay.
317
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:59,604
Sheldon, look,
I asked the barista
318
00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:00,972
if anyone
left anything for us,
319
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,207
and she said to look
in this lost and found box.
320
00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:05,543
But why would it be in
the lost and found box?
321
00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:10,348
Because we were lost,
and then we found each other.
322
00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:12,750
It makes perfect sense.
323
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:15,353
Oh. And look at this.
324
00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:16,721
A locket.
325
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:19,023
And that stone in front--
I bet it's quartz.
326
00:14:19,058 --> 00:14:21,025
This must be it. This
must be the actual gift.
327
00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:22,326
Open it up.
What's inside?
328
00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:25,096
Nothing. It's empty.
329
00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:26,898
Of course.
330
00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:28,766
Our life together
is just starting,
331
00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:31,469
and they want us to fill
it with our memories.
332
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:36,574
This might be
the best wedding gift ever.
333
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,643
(gasps) They also left us
a pair of sunglasses
334
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:40,912
because our
future's so bright!
335
00:14:43,249 --> 00:14:45,149
They thought of everything!
336
00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:50,521
Oh.
337
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:51,789
Look what Halley drew.
338
00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:53,524
Yeah, she made it at daycare.
339
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:54,959
It's pretty good, huh?
340
00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:57,528
Is it?
341
00:14:57,563 --> 00:15:00,698
Wow. Gentile moms are tough.
342
00:15:03,035 --> 00:15:05,937
STUART: Guys, I need
to show you something,
343
00:15:05,972 --> 00:15:09,140
but you have to promise
not to make fun of me.
344
00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:11,109
Of course.
345
00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:18,749
Whoa.
346
00:15:18,784 --> 00:15:21,218
Yeah. I was worried
about the date
347
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:24,989
so I got my hair colored to make
me feel a little more confident,
348
00:15:25,024 --> 00:15:28,793
but that just made me look
paler, so I-I got a spray tan.
349
00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:30,461
Have you tried
showering,
350
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:32,363
seeing if you
could scrub it off?
351
00:15:32,398 --> 00:15:34,031
I did.
352
00:15:34,066 --> 00:15:37,001
You're gonna need
some new towels.
353
00:15:37,036 --> 00:15:39,503
And a bathmat.
354
00:15:39,538 --> 00:15:42,106
And a toilet seat.
355
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:50,848
I'm picking her up in an hour.
356
00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:53,951
What am I gonna do?!
357
00:15:53,986 --> 00:15:55,720
Don't you mean
what are you gonna
358
00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:57,655
"Oompa Loompa doompety do"?
359
00:15:59,358 --> 00:16:01,559
You said you weren't
gonna make any jokes.
360
00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:04,195
I'm sorry. I'll stop.
(mouthing)
361
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,398
Look, it's only
a spray tan.
362
00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:09,066
It'll fade in a couple days.
363
00:16:09,101 --> 00:16:11,135
Why don't you cancel
the date and reschedule?
364
00:16:11,170 --> 00:16:14,138
Oh, but I was really
looking forward to tonight.
365
00:16:14,173 --> 00:16:16,407
You know what? Then go.
Tell her what happened.
366
00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:18,542
Maybe she'll be flattered.
WOLOWITZ:
And if not,
367
00:16:18,577 --> 00:16:22,313
swing by the chocolate factory
and see if they're hiring.
368
00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:25,283
That wasn't a joke. That was
a legitimate suggestion.
369
00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:31,689
DR. KOOTHRAPPALI:
Hello?
370
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,290
Hey, Dad.
371
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:37,328
Rajesh. What a nice surprise,
calling me on my birthday.
372
00:16:37,363 --> 00:16:41,999
Yes. That's why I'm calling.
373
00:16:42,034 --> 00:16:44,502
And-and what better gift
to give you than the gift
374
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:47,772
of marrying an Indian woman,
just like you've always wanted.
375
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:49,607
My goodness, Rajesh,
this is exciting news.
376
00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:51,108
Who is she?
377
00:16:51,143 --> 00:16:53,010
You tell me.
378
00:16:53,045 --> 00:16:54,145
What?
379
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:57,782
I want you
to arrange a marriage for me.
380
00:16:57,817 --> 00:17:00,451
I'm just so tired
of being single,
381
00:17:00,486 --> 00:17:04,255
and I'm finally just...
I'm-I'm ready to settle down.
382
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:06,924
I can't just call up
some girl's dad
383
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:08,793
and make her marry you.
384
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:12,396
It's-it's not 2015 anymore.
385
00:17:12,431 --> 00:17:15,933
I know that, but I can't do this
on my own. I need your help.
386
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:18,903
Well, then, I'm going
to need your help, too.
387
00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:22,039
If I'm going to find a woman
to set you up with,
388
00:17:22,074 --> 00:17:24,909
you're going to need
to stop Instagramming pictures
389
00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:27,745
of you and your dog
wearing matching sweaters.
390
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:31,549
Fine, if that's what it takes
to show you that I'm serious.
391
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:33,117
Uh, quick question.
392
00:17:33,152 --> 00:17:35,119
Do you mean just Instagram,
or all my social...?
393
00:17:35,154 --> 00:17:36,821
All of them!
394
00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:39,023
Okay, deal.
395
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:42,393
All right.
Let me ask you a question.
396
00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:44,562
What do you think of this woman?
397
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:46,831
Oh. Oh, my God, she's beautiful.
398
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:49,500
Is that who you're going
to set me up with?
399
00:17:49,535 --> 00:17:52,703
No! That's who I'm dating.
400
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:58,109
But maybe
she has an older sister.
401
00:18:01,547 --> 00:18:03,314
So we put a little picture of me
402
00:18:03,349 --> 00:18:05,917
and a little picture
of Sheldon in it.
403
00:18:10,456 --> 00:18:13,591
In-in the locket?
404
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:15,092
Yes.
405
00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:18,596
That was in
a lost and found box?
406
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:21,332
Exactly.
407
00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:23,968
Where we hid it?
408
00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:26,137
So really, you gave us
three amazing gifts.
409
00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:27,872
You gave the locket,
the adventure
410
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:30,875
and the realization
that Amy and I can do anything
411
00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:33,010
as long as we
work together.
412
00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:36,447
We wrote you a special
thank you note.
Oh.
413
00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:40,885
Are those words?
414
00:18:43,255 --> 00:18:44,955
No.
415
00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:49,060
It's a secret code that you two
get to figure out together.
416
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:53,397
Hint: it's based
on Sanskrit,
417
00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:56,033
but not the Sanskrit
you're thinking of.
418
00:18:57,269 --> 00:19:01,438
And best of all, you can't use
the Internet to cheat.
419
00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:03,541
Because we locked you
out of your Wi-Fi,
420
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:07,311
and the answer to this
is your new password.
421
00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:13,284
I'm no longer happy.
422
00:19:14,753 --> 00:19:17,021
Hey, guys. Great news.
423
00:19:17,056 --> 00:19:19,657
I'm getting married.
424
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:22,393
Huh?
What?
No.
425
00:19:23,295 --> 00:19:25,529
Well, I-I haven't met her yet,
426
00:19:25,564 --> 00:19:27,331
but her name is Anu.
427
00:19:27,366 --> 00:19:29,533
My father says she comes
from a good family.
428
00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:30,801
She's in her 30s.
429
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:32,436
She works
in hospitality management.
430
00:19:32,471 --> 00:19:35,172
So, as long as I can get
through six to ten dates
431
00:19:35,207 --> 00:19:38,042
without revealing
my true self...
432
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:41,412
...this is happening.
433
00:19:41,447 --> 00:19:45,016
I know just what we're giving
them for a wedding gift.
434
00:19:52,057 --> 00:19:53,024
Oh.
435
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:56,393
Oh, my God.
436
00:19:56,428 --> 00:19:58,162
Yeah.
437
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,264
I wanted to look my best
for our date,
438
00:20:00,299 --> 00:20:05,803
and I made a series
of bad decisions...
439
00:20:07,072 --> 00:20:11,709
...one of which is hidden
by my pants.
440
00:20:11,744 --> 00:20:14,078
Wow. (laughs)
441
00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:17,514
Do you still want
to go out with me?
442
00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:21,986
Absolutely. Hey, maybe we
can go find Nemo together.
443
00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:24,321
That's a good one.
444
00:20:26,191 --> 00:20:28,859
Do your 63 other crayon
friends know you're out?
445
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:30,995
Are you just gonna
make fun of me all night?
446
00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:32,696
Probably.
Great.
447
00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:34,298
So what are we thinking,
Chinese?
448
00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:36,701
Yeah, I'm in the mood
for orange chicken.