1
00:00:02,166 --> 00:00:03,932
Hey, uh, who's
free tonight?
2
00:00:03,934 --> 00:00:05,667
- Oh, I think I'm...
- Hang on.
3
00:00:05,669 --> 00:00:06,935
We've made this
mistake before.
4
00:00:06,937 --> 00:00:08,470
It's how we
wound up at
5
00:00:08,472 --> 00:00:12,040
his cousin Deepak's
Tupperware party.
6
00:00:12,042 --> 00:00:13,942
Hey, you use that
collapsible bowl all the time,
7
00:00:13,944 --> 00:00:15,010
and you know it.
8
00:00:15,012 --> 00:00:16,478
And it's not
like that.
9
00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:19,815
I just thought we could, you
know, hang out and go to a bar.
10
00:00:19,817 --> 00:00:21,082
- Sure. - Very well.
- Sounds fun.
11
00:00:21,084 --> 00:00:22,818
And watch cricket.
12
00:00:23,754 --> 00:00:27,389
That sound you hear,
ironically, crickets.
13
00:00:28,859 --> 00:00:30,292
Hey, guys.
14
00:00:30,294 --> 00:00:31,493
Hey, Bert,
how you doing?
15
00:00:31,495 --> 00:00:32,994
Well, you know, we geologists
16
00:00:32,996 --> 00:00:35,964
always get a little sad
when Rocktober's over.
17
00:00:36,700 --> 00:00:38,900
- Wordplay?
- Yes.
18
00:00:38,902 --> 00:00:39,868
Funny wordplay?
19
00:00:39,870 --> 00:00:41,436
- What do you think?
- Eh.
20
00:00:41,438 --> 00:00:44,706
Trust your gut.
21
00:00:44,708 --> 00:00:45,841
Sheldon, I've got these
22
00:00:45,843 --> 00:00:47,442
four-billion-year-old
meteorites.
23
00:00:47,444 --> 00:00:51,046
I thought maybe they'd show
signs of neutrino interactions.
24
00:00:51,048 --> 00:00:53,782
I could really use someone like
you to help me with the math.
25
00:00:53,784 --> 00:00:58,553
Oh, so they would act as
natural dark matter detectors.
26
00:00:58,555 --> 00:00:59,654
That sounds interesting.
27
00:00:59,656 --> 00:01:02,457
It does, but it's still geology.
28
00:01:03,927 --> 00:01:06,595
Sorry, Bert, I don't have time
to play rocks with you.
29
00:01:06,597 --> 00:01:08,129
I'm not asking you
to play rocks.
30
00:01:08,131 --> 00:01:10,499
I'm asking you to collaborate
on a research project.
31
00:01:10,501 --> 00:01:11,466
Although, if
there's time,
32
00:01:11,468 --> 00:01:13,134
I guess we could play a round
33
00:01:13,136 --> 00:01:15,537
of zinc, zinc, piece of quartz.
34
00:01:16,673 --> 00:01:18,807
Does sound better
than cricket.
35
00:01:20,444 --> 00:01:21,543
Thank you for asking.
36
00:01:21,545 --> 00:01:23,645
Unfortunately, I have
real science to do.
37
00:01:23,647 --> 00:01:25,514
But you feel free
to rock on.
38
00:01:25,516 --> 00:01:27,782
That's how you do it.
39
00:01:27,784 --> 00:01:29,651
All right.
40
00:01:29,653 --> 00:01:30,685
Sheldon, what are you doing?
41
00:01:30,687 --> 00:01:32,420
Bert's one of
the top guys in his field.
42
00:01:32,422 --> 00:01:36,691
And somewhere there's a mime
who's top in his field,
43
00:01:36,693 --> 00:01:38,994
but you don't see me rushing
to collaborate with him
44
00:01:38,996 --> 00:01:42,397
on new ways to be
stuck in a box.
45
00:01:42,399 --> 00:01:46,568
Also something I would
watch instead of cricket.
46
00:01:57,214 --> 00:01:58,213
Oh.
47
00:01:58,215 --> 00:01:59,514
Hello.
48
00:01:59,516 --> 00:02:01,216
Hey, Sheldon.
49
00:02:01,218 --> 00:02:04,286
I've been thinking
about it, and I suppose
50
00:02:04,288 --> 00:02:07,355
I-I could help you
with your research.
51
00:02:07,357 --> 00:02:08,557
What changed your mind?
52
00:02:08,559 --> 00:02:10,191
Bert, I'm a gift horse.
53
00:02:10,193 --> 00:02:12,260
Don't look me in the mouth.
54
00:02:12,262 --> 00:02:14,262
Sorry. I'm happy
you want to help out.
55
00:02:14,264 --> 00:02:16,932
If it's easier for you, we could
just work at your office.
56
00:02:16,934 --> 00:02:19,034
No, no, no,
not my office, no.
57
00:02:19,036 --> 00:02:20,869
Uh, let's-let's
do it here,
58
00:02:20,871 --> 00:02:24,839
in-in the evenings,
after everyone's gone home.
59
00:02:24,841 --> 00:02:27,542
I just have to see
if my evenings are free.
60
00:02:27,544 --> 00:02:29,844
That's a joke. They are.
61
00:02:29,846 --> 00:02:31,046
Okay.
62
00:02:31,048 --> 00:02:32,847
Well, then I will
see you tonight.
63
00:02:36,019 --> 00:02:37,953
Well, you know what?
64
00:02:37,955 --> 00:02:40,655
Close the blinds.
We can start right now.
65
00:02:42,125 --> 00:02:45,660
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
66
00:02:45,662 --> 00:02:49,097
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
67
00:02:49,099 --> 00:02:50,732
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
68
00:02:50,734 --> 00:02:53,268
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
69
00:02:53,270 --> 00:02:55,937
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
70
00:02:55,939 --> 00:02:58,607
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
71
00:02:58,609 --> 00:03:00,508
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
72
00:03:00,510 --> 00:03:00,685
♪ Bang! ♪
73
00:03:00,686 --> 00:03:04,686
♪ The Big Bang Theory 11x07 ♪
The Geology Methodology
Original Air Date on November 9, 2017
74
00:03:04,687 --> 00:03:06,687
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
75
00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:12,992
I don't get how you can
enjoy cricket.
76
00:03:12,994 --> 00:03:14,427
It makes no sense.
77
00:03:14,429 --> 00:03:16,462
Did you just come
here to complain?
78
00:03:16,464 --> 00:03:19,231
Yeah. That's the sport
of my people.
79
00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:23,536
Ooh, that's Ravichandran
Ashwin. He's amazing.
80
00:03:23,538 --> 00:03:27,573
He makes Hardik Pandya look
like Bhuvneshwar Kumar.
81
00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:31,477
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, save some
syllables for the rest of us.
82
00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:34,647
Hey, I think that's
Bernadette's friend over there.
83
00:03:34,649 --> 00:03:36,615
Oh, yeah.
84
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,117
Hey, Ruchi!
85
00:03:39,487 --> 00:03:41,420
I-I hope this
isn't awkward.
86
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:43,622
The last time we met, I
kind of embarrassed myself.
87
00:03:43,624 --> 00:03:45,558
Let's see if you can
go two for two.
88
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:48,094
Hey, guys.
Hey.
89
00:03:48,096 --> 00:03:50,529
- Hi.
- Are you here by yourself?
90
00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:52,798
Yeah, I couldn't convince anyone
to come watch cricket with me.
91
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,167
Tell me about it.
I had to drag this guy.
92
00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:59,071
You're more than welcome
to join us if you'd like.
93
00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:00,006
Thanks.
94
00:04:02,010 --> 00:04:04,710
Arre uske taang
pay ball kar!
95
00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:05,878
What'd she say?
96
00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:10,016
Uske taang
pay ball kar.
97
00:04:10,018 --> 00:04:12,451
Oh, that clears that up.
98
00:04:12,453 --> 00:04:15,021
Well, no, she's telling the
bowler to bowl a yorker.
99
00:04:15,023 --> 00:04:17,423
It's the most brutal
ball in cricket.
100
00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:20,626
I was at the match when Shoaib
bowled back-to-back yorkers.
101
00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,561
Well, I was there, too!
What a coincidence!
102
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:26,499
Well, there were 120,000 people
at that match, so...
103
00:04:26,501 --> 00:04:28,134
Yeah, India, right?
Everywhere you go,
104
00:04:28,136 --> 00:04:30,669
there's, like, 120,000 people.
105
00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:32,705
So what do
you think of
106
00:04:32,707 --> 00:04:33,939
our chances at
the World Cup?
107
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,207
Ah, World Cup.
108
00:04:35,209 --> 00:04:36,475
You know, it'll all depend
109
00:04:36,477 --> 00:04:38,577
if Kohli's batting in form.
I know.
110
00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:40,880
It doesn't even matter
how many all-rounders you have.
111
00:04:40,882 --> 00:04:42,348
Isn't that the truth?
112
00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:44,750
You know, I was the best
leg spinner in my high school?
113
00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:46,886
Yeah, like, I bowled
the meanest googly.
114
00:04:46,888 --> 00:04:49,855
Speaking of googlies,
I'm gonna go.
115
00:04:52,927 --> 00:04:55,828
I've been modeling different
types of dark matter
116
00:04:55,830 --> 00:04:57,096
and the traces they would leave
117
00:04:57,098 --> 00:04:58,798
on the zircon
inside your meteorite.
118
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,067
What's this one here?
119
00:05:01,069 --> 00:05:03,969
That's actually a dark matter
model of my own creation.
120
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,838
I call it the Cooper Boson.
121
00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:08,741
Cool. I got to name a rock once.
122
00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:11,644
I named it
Moderately Sedimented Shale.
123
00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:16,215
Guess I kind of
pooped the bed on that one.
124
00:05:19,020 --> 00:05:20,653
You know, Bert,
I've got to say,
125
00:05:20,655 --> 00:05:23,456
this work has been
surprisingly engaging.
126
00:05:23,458 --> 00:05:25,458
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
127
00:05:27,895 --> 00:05:29,261
Hello, Amy.
128
00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:32,364
What do you mean,
where am I?
129
00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:33,766
I'm in my office.
130
00:05:33,768 --> 00:05:37,436
No, I'm at your office
and you're not here.
131
00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:39,238
I thought I'd surprise you
with dinner.
132
00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:41,941
For future reference,
the best surprises
133
00:05:41,943 --> 00:05:45,311
are the ones I know about
three days in advance.
134
00:05:45,313 --> 00:05:47,313
Where are you?
135
00:05:47,315 --> 00:05:48,747
It's a surprise.
136
00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:51,183
Doesn't feel so good, does it?
137
00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:52,551
Well, I have food.
138
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:53,819
I thought we could eat together,
139
00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:55,654
but I guess if you have
other plans...
140
00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:57,723
What?! I'm here!
141
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:02,328
Exactly where
I said I was.
142
00:06:03,498 --> 00:06:05,498
Let's eat.
143
00:06:07,702 --> 00:06:09,068
Hello.
144
00:06:09,070 --> 00:06:10,503
- Hey, buddy, what's up?
- Hey.
145
00:06:10,505 --> 00:06:13,372
Um, I need to talk
to Penny alone.
146
00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:19,678
What can I do for you?
147
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,481
Just a minute, I want to make
sure Leonard can't hear us.
148
00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:24,850
I've got
a box of cupcakes.
149
00:06:27,455 --> 00:06:30,256
Okay, we're good.
150
00:06:30,258 --> 00:06:34,827
I'm working with Bert, but I
don't want anyone to find out.
151
00:06:34,829 --> 00:06:37,997
Well, you just told me,
so strong start.
152
00:06:37,999 --> 00:06:40,766
Penny, this is serious.
153
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:42,968
My reputation
is on the line.
154
00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:45,938
What are people gonna think
when they see us collaborating?
155
00:06:45,940 --> 00:06:48,240
I don't know. Poor Bert?
156
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,745
I am a respected
theoretical physicist.
157
00:06:52,747 --> 00:06:55,414
I aspire to win a
Nobel Prize someday.
158
00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:57,116
But nobody's gonna
take me seriously
159
00:06:57,118 --> 00:06:59,451
if they find out I've
been dabbling in geology.
160
00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:01,353
Well, why not?
They're both sciences.
161
00:07:01,355 --> 00:07:02,955
And I know because
they're classes
162
00:07:02,957 --> 00:07:07,092
my high school counselor said
“weren't for me.”
163
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:10,196
They're very different.
164
00:07:10,198 --> 00:07:12,031
Physics answers
the question:
165
00:07:12,033 --> 00:07:13,999
what is the nature
of the universe?
166
00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:17,770
Geology answers the question:
what'd I just trip over?
167
00:07:19,574 --> 00:07:21,473
All right, well,
then don't work with Bert.
168
00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:23,709
Oh, but I like the work.
Then work with him.
169
00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:25,277
Yeah, but I'm ashamed
of the field.
170
00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:27,680
- Then don't work with him.
- Yeah, but we could prove dark matter.
171
00:07:27,682 --> 00:07:29,181
Then work with him.
But I just think that people...
172
00:07:29,183 --> 00:07:31,116
How many times are
you gonna do this?
173
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:32,952
My record is 14.
174
00:07:32,954 --> 00:07:35,721
Okay, this is about science.
175
00:07:35,723 --> 00:07:37,022
Why'd you come to me?
176
00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:40,059
Well, because it's also
about my reputation.
177
00:07:40,061 --> 00:07:43,128
And somehow you manage
to hold your head high
178
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:45,631
despite your checkered past.
179
00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:49,001
Checkered past?
180
00:07:49,003 --> 00:07:50,869
It's a figure of speech
181
00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:54,106
referring to how
sexually promiscuous you were.
182
00:07:54,108 --> 00:07:56,141
Really?
183
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:58,010
Well, I've got
a figure of speech about
184
00:07:58,012 --> 00:08:01,280
how sexually promiscuous
you can go be with yourself.
185
00:08:04,185 --> 00:08:07,052
And what is it?
186
00:08:09,423 --> 00:08:11,257
Look, while Bernadette's
on bed rest,
187
00:08:11,259 --> 00:08:13,926
we're gonna have to
divide and conquer.
188
00:08:13,928 --> 00:08:16,595
I've got one monitor for her,
one for the baby.
189
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:18,030
Which do you want?
190
00:08:18,032 --> 00:08:21,066
I'll take the baby.
She's less emasculating.
191
00:08:22,203 --> 00:08:24,570
Good morning!
192
00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:26,538
Scones?
Ah, thanks.
193
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:29,808
They're all for you; I already
had breakfast at Ruchi's.
194
00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:32,044
You're kidding.
You slept with her?
195
00:08:32,046 --> 00:08:33,879
Well, there wasn't
a lot of sleeping involved.
196
00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:35,848
I mean, she slept,
I stayed awake.
197
00:08:35,850 --> 00:08:39,652
I was afraid of snoring 'cause
I didn't have my special pillow.
198
00:08:39,654 --> 00:08:40,653
Howard!
199
00:08:40,655 --> 00:08:43,622
Can you help me
to the bathroom?!
200
00:08:43,624 --> 00:08:46,525
Well, at least the romance
is still alive.
201
00:08:50,131 --> 00:08:53,799
So, you and Ruchi?
202
00:08:53,801 --> 00:08:55,401
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I know you liked her, too,
203
00:08:55,403 --> 00:08:57,803
but we just bumped into each
other last night and hit it off.
204
00:08:57,805 --> 00:08:59,104
No, that's fine.
205
00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:01,006
You're my friend and
I'm happy for you.
206
00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:02,408
Oh, thank you, Stuart.
207
00:09:02,410 --> 00:09:04,143
Plus, I don't know
how you're gonna screw it up,
208
00:09:04,145 --> 00:09:05,244
but I know you will.
209
00:09:05,246 --> 00:09:07,379
What's there to screw up?
210
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:09,181
She just wants
to keep things casual.
211
00:09:09,183 --> 00:09:11,016
Oh, great, that's how
you're gonna screw it up.
212
00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:13,986
Hey, I can be casual.
213
00:09:13,988 --> 00:09:15,321
Mm-hmm.
214
00:09:15,323 --> 00:09:17,723
I should get a haircut;
this thing's going south fast.
215
00:09:19,293 --> 00:09:21,827
So Ruchi and I decided
to keep things casual.
216
00:09:24,165 --> 00:09:26,999
What? What?
217
00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:28,600
I can handle casual.
218
00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:30,469
Oh...
219
00:09:30,471 --> 00:09:33,439
Why do you keep doing that
with your face?
220
00:09:33,441 --> 00:09:36,141
Because you keep saying
stupid things with yours.
221
00:09:36,143 --> 00:09:38,277
Okay, fine.
222
00:09:38,279 --> 00:09:39,778
I'm not great
at casual relationships,
223
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:41,847
and I don't want
to scare her off.
224
00:09:41,849 --> 00:09:43,282
All right, just give her
some space, all right?
225
00:09:43,284 --> 00:09:44,316
Don't call, don't text,
don't e-mail.
226
00:09:44,318 --> 00:09:45,551
That's crazy.
227
00:09:45,553 --> 00:09:49,154
What if I see a sunset
that reminds me of her?
228
00:09:50,925 --> 00:09:53,025
All right, when do you
see her next?
229
00:09:53,027 --> 00:09:54,393
Uh, we're having dinner tonight.
230
00:09:54,395 --> 00:09:57,730
Okay, put a rubber band
around your wrist,
231
00:09:57,732 --> 00:09:59,965
and any time you start
planning your wedding
232
00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:01,233
or naming your children,
233
00:10:01,235 --> 00:10:05,070
I want you to stab yourself
in the hand with a fork.
234
00:10:08,376 --> 00:10:10,376
What's the rubber band for?
235
00:10:10,378 --> 00:10:11,744
To slow the bleeding.
236
00:10:14,682 --> 00:10:17,449
Hey, how's Bernadette
handling bed rest?
237
00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:21,286
She lies around all day eating
Mallomars and hollering at me,
238
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:26,892
so her transformation from my
wife to my mother is complete.
239
00:10:29,130 --> 00:10:32,398
Congratulations. I know
that's what you were hoping for.
240
00:10:34,168 --> 00:10:37,336
Sheldon, you left your jacket
in my office last night.
241
00:10:37,338 --> 00:10:38,971
Uh, oh. No-no, I didn't.
242
00:10:38,973 --> 00:10:40,372
That's-that's not my jacket.
243
00:10:40,374 --> 00:10:41,540
Then why does it say,
244
00:10:41,542 --> 00:10:43,809
“Property of S. Cooper.
Stop touching it”?
245
00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:46,378
It sounds like
someone named Scooper
246
00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:48,580
doesn't want you
touching his jacket.
247
00:10:49,550 --> 00:10:50,949
Are you guys
working together
248
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,551
on that meteorite
project?
249
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,187
Yes, fine, you
found me out.
250
00:10:55,189 --> 00:10:56,488
I'm doing geology.
251
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:58,223
Just, please, don't tell anyone.
252
00:10:58,225 --> 00:11:00,659
Are you embarrassed of me?
253
00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:02,561
Oh, no, no, no,
not you.
254
00:11:02,563 --> 00:11:05,998
No, just the work that you've
devoted your entire life to.
255
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,333
If you're ashamed to be
working with me,
256
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,502
then I don't want
to work with you.
257
00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:14,406
Sheldon, that was pretty rude.
258
00:11:14,408 --> 00:11:17,810
Well, what do you expect?
He's a geologist.
259
00:11:21,395 --> 00:11:23,194
This place seems nice.
260
00:11:23,196 --> 00:11:24,529
Uh, but not too nice.
261
00:11:24,531 --> 00:11:26,631
Yelp called it
“good for groups.”
262
00:11:27,467 --> 00:11:29,601
Would you care to buy
the lady a...?
263
00:11:29,603 --> 00:11:31,903
No! Get out of here!
264
00:11:32,939 --> 00:11:34,506
Sorry about that.
265
00:11:34,508 --> 00:11:37,175
I just, I hate when someone
assumes two people are dating
266
00:11:37,177 --> 00:11:38,443
just because they look like
267
00:11:38,445 --> 00:11:40,679
they would make
beautiful babies together.
268
00:11:40,681 --> 00:11:43,281
Are you sure
you're okay with this?
269
00:11:43,283 --> 00:11:46,551
Honestly, Ruchi, I don't
have a lot of experience
270
00:11:46,553 --> 00:11:48,586
with casual relationships.
271
00:11:48,588 --> 00:11:50,388
I have some experience
with serious relationships
272
00:11:50,390 --> 00:11:53,925
and a ton of experience
with no relationships.
273
00:11:55,762 --> 00:11:56,795
You're funny.
274
00:11:56,797 --> 00:11:59,397
Glad it came off that way.
275
00:11:59,399 --> 00:12:02,233
Uh, so tell me about your day.
276
00:12:02,235 --> 00:12:03,735
How's work going?
277
00:12:03,737 --> 00:12:05,603
Well, I spent the morning
reviewing side effects
278
00:12:05,605 --> 00:12:08,440
for our fungal cream,
so it was a lot of ooze and pus.
279
00:12:08,442 --> 00:12:13,044
♪ Oh, almost paradise ♪
280
00:12:13,046 --> 00:12:17,248
♪ We're knocking on
heaven's door ♪
281
00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:18,350
♪ Almost paradise... ♪
282
00:12:18,352 --> 00:12:22,354
And then I had to catalog it
283
00:12:22,356 --> 00:12:26,658
by color, viscosity
284
00:12:26,660 --> 00:12:30,395
and percentage of blood.
285
00:12:33,133 --> 00:12:36,034
♪ Paradise. ♪
286
00:12:36,036 --> 00:12:38,470
Sounds wonderful.
287
00:12:41,775 --> 00:12:43,141
Hey.
288
00:12:43,143 --> 00:12:44,609
Hmm.
289
00:12:44,611 --> 00:12:46,845
What you got there?
290
00:12:46,847 --> 00:12:48,546
A rock.
291
00:12:50,317 --> 00:12:54,352
Did some mean boys
throw it at you?
292
00:12:54,354 --> 00:12:57,155
It turns out I'm the mean boy.
293
00:12:57,157 --> 00:13:01,393
Although I did drop it
on my own foot, so kind of.
294
00:13:01,395 --> 00:13:02,927
What's going on?
295
00:13:02,929 --> 00:13:06,331
What if there was
something I wanted to do,
296
00:13:06,333 --> 00:13:10,201
but I was worried other people
would think less of me?
297
00:13:10,203 --> 00:13:12,837
Is that other person me, and
does it happen in the bedroom,
298
00:13:12,839 --> 00:13:16,241
in which case
I think I'm cool with it?
299
00:13:19,079 --> 00:13:21,045
No.
300
00:13:21,047 --> 00:13:23,782
It's about working
with Bert on...
301
00:13:23,784 --> 00:13:25,450
You know what?
I'm not even gonna say it.
302
00:13:25,452 --> 00:13:27,952
I am just gonna say
the letter it starts with
303
00:13:27,954 --> 00:13:29,287
and “ology.”
304
00:13:29,289 --> 00:13:31,923
“G”-- Oh, no,
that's not gonna work.
305
00:13:33,794 --> 00:13:35,093
Geology?
306
00:13:35,095 --> 00:13:37,595
Yes. But we parted ways
307
00:13:37,597 --> 00:13:40,398
because I was worried
about my reputation.
308
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,701
Sheldon, you've never
cared what people thought,
309
00:13:43,703 --> 00:13:47,105
even when you really,
really should.
310
00:13:48,842 --> 00:13:51,142
That dinner with my
parents comes to mind.
311
00:13:51,144 --> 00:13:54,245
If I'm not gonna use
“your momma” jokes
312
00:13:54,247 --> 00:13:57,949
when I meet your mother,
why'd I bother to learn them?
313
00:13:59,753 --> 00:14:03,588
I'm just saying, if you think
the work is interesting,
314
00:14:03,590 --> 00:14:05,590
nothing else
should matter.
315
00:14:05,592 --> 00:14:08,726
You're right, Amy.
316
00:14:08,728 --> 00:14:10,862
That is sage advice.
317
00:14:10,864 --> 00:14:13,731
Which is surprising, considering
your momma is so dumb, she...
318
00:14:13,733 --> 00:14:15,533
Nope.
319
00:14:18,338 --> 00:14:20,872
She studied for a urine test.
320
00:14:25,912 --> 00:14:28,813
I was supposed to go back
to India and get married,
321
00:14:28,815 --> 00:14:30,548
but I realized
it wasn't what I wanted.
322
00:14:30,550 --> 00:14:33,117
So I called off the engagement
and moved out here.
323
00:14:33,119 --> 00:14:35,787
Well, if he wasn't your soul
mate, he wasn't your soul mate.
324
00:14:35,789 --> 00:14:39,324
Oh, God, please tell me
you're not one of those.
325
00:14:39,326 --> 00:14:40,925
One of whats?
326
00:14:40,927 --> 00:14:45,997
I want to say teenage girls,
but that sounds mean.
327
00:14:45,999 --> 00:14:48,700
Come on, you don't believe that
everyone has one perfect match?
328
00:14:48,702 --> 00:14:51,302
Of course not.
That's ridiculous.
329
00:14:51,304 --> 00:14:52,437
I mean, what if
330
00:14:52,439 --> 00:14:54,105
your soul mate lived
halfway across the world?
331
00:14:54,107 --> 00:14:55,240
You'd never meet.
332
00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:56,174
Yes, you would.
333
00:14:56,176 --> 00:14:57,575
I can give you,
like, 20 examples
334
00:14:57,577 --> 00:14:59,177
where that happened
to Kate Hudson alone.
335
00:14:59,179 --> 00:15:01,179
You know what?
336
00:15:01,181 --> 00:15:03,281
People get upset
when I talk about this.
337
00:15:03,283 --> 00:15:04,482
Let's just change the subject.
338
00:15:04,484 --> 00:15:06,184
No, no, no.
No, it's-it's fine.
339
00:15:06,186 --> 00:15:10,188
Are you saying that you don't
believe two people fall in love?
340
00:15:10,190 --> 00:15:11,256
Of course they do.
341
00:15:11,258 --> 00:15:12,924
It's just that
what people call “love”
342
00:15:12,926 --> 00:15:14,692
is actually a series
of biochemical reactions
343
00:15:14,694 --> 00:15:18,096
in the brain
that fade over time.
344
00:15:18,098 --> 00:15:20,431
Yes. Like the old song,
345
00:15:20,433 --> 00:15:24,903
“When a man has a biochemical
reaction for a woman.”
346
00:15:24,905 --> 00:15:26,070
Raj, we're scientists.
347
00:15:26,072 --> 00:15:27,739
We don't need to feel threatened
348
00:15:27,741 --> 00:15:29,707
just because we understand
the mechanisms
349
00:15:29,709 --> 00:15:31,476
that give rise
to romantic feelings.
350
00:15:31,478 --> 00:15:34,412
It doesn't take anything away
from the experience.
351
00:15:34,414 --> 00:15:35,847
Yes, it does.
352
00:15:35,849 --> 00:15:37,982
Actually, it takes
everything away from it.
353
00:15:37,984 --> 00:15:39,918
Love isn't
just science.
354
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:41,853
Okay? It's-it's spiritual.
355
00:15:41,855 --> 00:15:43,488
It's an acknowledgment
of a mystery
356
00:15:43,490 --> 00:15:44,956
that's greater than ourselves.
357
00:15:44,958 --> 00:15:47,692
It's what makes people
write songs and poems,
358
00:15:47,694 --> 00:15:51,930
and what has kept The Bachelor
on TV for 21 magical seasons.
359
00:15:51,932 --> 00:15:55,934
Don't you think the fact that
love is given away as a prize
360
00:15:55,936 --> 00:15:58,369
on a game show slightly
undermines your argument?
361
00:15:58,371 --> 00:16:00,071
Uh, yes.
362
00:16:00,073 --> 00:16:01,606
But I've never
missed an episode,
363
00:16:01,608 --> 00:16:04,409
and I dare science
to explain that.
364
00:16:06,947 --> 00:16:08,880
Bert.
365
00:16:08,882 --> 00:16:10,415
Bert, Bert.
366
00:16:10,417 --> 00:16:12,383
Bert, Bert, Bert.
367
00:16:12,385 --> 00:16:14,986
What do you want, Sheldon?
368
00:16:14,988 --> 00:16:17,522
I would like us to
work together again.
369
00:16:17,524 --> 00:16:20,992
I promise to keep my
geology comments to myself,
370
00:16:20,994 --> 00:16:24,829
because while some of them are
funny, all of them are mean.
371
00:16:26,466 --> 00:16:29,167
Well, this is awkward.
372
00:16:34,541 --> 00:16:36,674
Leonard, what are you
doing here?
373
00:16:36,676 --> 00:16:38,109
Bert asked for my help.
374
00:16:38,111 --> 00:16:39,143
Yeah,
he's an excellent scientist,
375
00:16:39,145 --> 00:16:40,645
and he doesn't tell me
376
00:16:40,647 --> 00:16:43,715
what time I can
go to the bathroom.
377
00:16:43,717 --> 00:16:46,250
It's called bladder training.
378
00:16:46,252 --> 00:16:48,720
When you're in your 80s,
you'll thank me for it.
379
00:16:48,722 --> 00:16:51,389
Look, Sheldon,
you were a jerk to Bert,
380
00:16:51,391 --> 00:16:52,857
and he walked
away from you.
381
00:16:52,859 --> 00:16:56,761
So I feel like there's
a lot he could teach me.
382
00:16:56,763 --> 00:16:59,030
Bert, please.
383
00:16:59,032 --> 00:17:00,999
I know I behaved poorly
in the past,
384
00:17:01,001 --> 00:17:02,867
but things will be
different this time.
385
00:17:02,869 --> 00:17:04,202
You'll see.
386
00:17:04,204 --> 00:17:07,438
Come on, let me in.
387
00:17:08,675 --> 00:17:10,341
We'll have some laughs,
388
00:17:10,343 --> 00:17:13,244
we'll calculate
some isotope ratios.
389
00:17:16,616 --> 00:17:18,683
I'm sorry, Sheldon.
390
00:17:22,455 --> 00:17:24,188
So you just shut the door
in his face?
391
00:17:24,190 --> 00:17:26,190
I got to start
writing this stuff down.
392
00:17:28,828 --> 00:17:30,995
I mean, Ruchi's nice.
393
00:17:30,997 --> 00:17:32,163
We're just so different.
394
00:17:32,165 --> 00:17:33,631
I know.
Sometimes when you're dating,
395
00:17:33,633 --> 00:17:34,832
you meet weird people.
396
00:17:34,834 --> 00:17:37,168
I once met a girl
who didn't like juggling.
397
00:17:37,170 --> 00:17:39,971
And she still doesn't.
398
00:17:41,641 --> 00:17:44,008
So you're not gonna
see her again?
399
00:17:44,010 --> 00:17:45,209
What's the point?
400
00:17:45,211 --> 00:17:47,111
We're never gonna be
in a real relationship.
401
00:17:47,113 --> 00:17:48,913
Right, so you'll only be
in a physical one?
402
00:17:48,915 --> 00:17:50,148
Exactly.
403
00:17:50,150 --> 00:17:52,250
Why would I want to spend time
with someone like that?
404
00:17:52,252 --> 00:17:54,852
Someone who is
just interested in sex?
405
00:17:54,854 --> 00:17:57,422
Yeah.
406
00:17:57,424 --> 00:17:59,323
Raj, do you real...
Whoa, hold on.
407
00:17:59,325 --> 00:18:02,226
Give him a chance.
He's gonna get this.
408
00:18:03,830 --> 00:18:05,563
I don't think he is.
409
00:18:06,900 --> 00:18:07,899
What is there to get?
410
00:18:07,901 --> 00:18:09,167
She doesn't want
to fall in love.
411
00:18:09,169 --> 00:18:10,168
At that point,
412
00:18:10,170 --> 00:18:11,669
all we are is two single people
413
00:18:11,671 --> 00:18:13,371
who find each other attractive
and enjoy having--
414
00:18:13,373 --> 00:18:14,572
Oh, got to go!
415
00:18:19,078 --> 00:18:20,778
So how was
your night with Ruchi?
416
00:18:20,780 --> 00:18:21,912
Oh, great.
417
00:18:21,914 --> 00:18:24,281
We ordered in some food,
we had sex, I left.
418
00:18:24,283 --> 00:18:26,517
I didn't even ask
if she enjoyed it.
419
00:18:28,021 --> 00:18:30,855
I can field that one for her.
420
00:18:30,857 --> 00:18:33,891
I mean, I did get a little misty
when we said good-bye,
421
00:18:33,893 --> 00:18:35,493
but I played it off
as allergies.
422
00:18:35,495 --> 00:18:37,061
I don't know if she bought it.
423
00:18:37,063 --> 00:18:39,030
Again, I know.
424
00:18:41,267 --> 00:18:42,767
Sheldon?
425
00:18:42,769 --> 00:18:44,101
You okay?
426
00:18:44,103 --> 00:18:45,369
Sheldon.
427
00:18:45,371 --> 00:18:49,640
♪ Oh, almost paradise ♪
428
00:18:49,642 --> 00:18:53,444
♪ We're knocking on
heaven's door ♪
429
00:18:53,446 --> 00:18:57,782
♪ Almost paradise ♪
430
00:18:57,784 --> 00:19:01,952
♪ How could we ask for more? ♪
431
00:19:01,954 --> 00:19:04,522
♪ Paradise. ♪
432
00:19:04,953 --> 00:19:11,853
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man