1
00:00:06,530 --> 00:00:08,179
Howie, slow down.
2
00:00:08,180 --> 00:00:08,930
I can't.
3
00:00:08,932 --> 00:00:10,932
I'm not allowed to eat
for 12 hours before my surgery,
4
00:00:10,934 --> 00:00:13,468
and I only got two more minutes.
5
00:00:16,206 --> 00:00:18,907
What surgery are you having?
6
00:00:18,909 --> 00:00:20,575
I'm stress eating.
7
00:00:20,577 --> 00:00:24,045
My best friend's getting
a vasectomy tomorrow.
8
00:00:24,047 --> 00:00:27,115
And you're sad you won't be able
to bear his child?
9
00:00:28,351 --> 00:00:29,451
Oh, my goodness.
10
00:00:29,453 --> 00:00:30,952
If it's “vasectomy
gone wrong” videos,
11
00:00:30,954 --> 00:00:32,253
he's seen them all.
12
00:00:32,255 --> 00:00:33,888
Including the one of
the guy who's sitting
13
00:00:33,890 --> 00:00:37,192
on what appears to be a
cantaloupe but is not.
14
00:00:38,095 --> 00:00:40,328
And I'm done.
15
00:00:40,330 --> 00:00:42,163
They're going
to start making
16
00:00:42,165 --> 00:00:44,099
Professor Proton's
science show again.
17
00:00:44,615 --> 00:00:45,670
I thought he passed away.
18
00:00:45,671 --> 00:00:46,202
He did.
19
00:00:46,203 --> 00:00:47,402
He was cremated,
and his remains
20
00:00:47,404 --> 00:00:49,604
were put
in a baking soda volcano.
21
00:00:51,174 --> 00:00:52,640
Don't make jokes.
22
00:00:52,642 --> 00:00:55,276
- He meant a lot to Sheldon.
- Oh, me, too.
23
00:00:55,278 --> 00:00:56,578
I grew up watching his show.
24
00:00:56,580 --> 00:00:58,613
He's one of the reasons
I became a scientist.
25
00:00:58,615 --> 00:01:01,716
Aw. Thought you did it
just to get girls.
26
00:01:01,718 --> 00:01:03,618
Joke's on you. It worked.
27
00:01:05,422 --> 00:01:07,388
Have they found anyone
to replace him?
28
00:01:07,390 --> 00:01:09,324
No, not yet,
and it won't be easy.
29
00:01:09,326 --> 00:01:11,772
Arthur Jeffries was
an accomplished scientist.
30
00:01:11,796 --> 00:01:12,495
Mm.
31
00:01:12,496 --> 00:01:14,929
You know who'd make
a great Professor Proton?
32
00:01:14,931 --> 00:01:17,265
Meryl Streep.
33
00:01:18,268 --> 00:01:19,901
She's not a scientist.
34
00:01:19,903 --> 00:01:21,603
Uh, then explain to me why
35
00:01:21,605 --> 00:01:25,006
she has chemistry
with literally everyone.
36
00:01:26,243 --> 00:01:28,042
It would be nice
if they cast a woman.
37
00:01:28,044 --> 00:01:30,078
Oh, you've already got Doctor
Who and the Ghostbusters.
38
00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:31,880
Leave us something.
39
00:01:32,883 --> 00:01:34,115
Who do you think it should be?
40
00:01:34,117 --> 00:01:36,451
Well, it should be a scientist
I respect.
41
00:01:36,453 --> 00:01:38,887
You know,
someone with a pleasing voice
42
00:01:38,889 --> 00:01:41,523
and symmetrical facial features.
43
00:01:41,525 --> 00:01:43,091
Is he talking
about himself?
44
00:01:43,093 --> 00:01:45,827
If he's talking,
he's talking about himself.
45
00:01:47,063 --> 00:01:49,831
I just know how much Professor
Proton touched me as a child,
46
00:01:49,833 --> 00:01:52,167
and I feel that I owe it to him
47
00:01:52,169 --> 00:01:56,004
to try and touch
as many children as possible.
48
00:02:00,610 --> 00:02:02,610
You should put that
on your audition tape.
49
00:02:04,414 --> 00:02:08,049
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
50
00:02:08,051 --> 00:02:11,386
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
51
00:02:11,388 --> 00:02:13,121
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
52
00:02:13,123 --> 00:02:15,623
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
53
00:02:15,625 --> 00:02:18,226
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
54
00:02:18,228 --> 00:02:20,929
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
55
00:02:20,931 --> 00:02:22,865
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
56
00:02:22,866 --> 00:02:24,025
♪ Bang! ♪
57
00:02:24,026 --> 00:02:28,026
♪ The Big Bang Theory 11x06 ♪
The Proton Regeneration
Original Air Date on November 2, 2017
58
00:02:28,027 --> 00:02:34,927
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
59
00:02:36,068 --> 00:02:37,328
You doing okay?
60
00:02:37,334 --> 00:02:41,671
No, I'm
very nervous.
61
00:02:51,150 --> 00:02:52,649
Where are you going?
62
00:02:52,651 --> 00:02:53,650
Gift shop.
63
00:02:53,652 --> 00:02:56,053
There is no gift shop.
Sit down.
64
00:02:57,757 --> 00:02:59,490
This was your idea.
65
00:02:59,492 --> 00:03:02,426
So was having sex, and
look where that got us.
66
00:03:03,729 --> 00:03:05,936
This isn't a big deal.
Stop whining.
67
00:03:05,937 --> 00:03:10,173
When you were in labor and
I said that, you kicked me.
68
00:03:10,175 --> 00:03:11,274
Howard Wolowitz?
69
00:03:14,713 --> 00:03:16,079
Want me to go with you?
No.
70
00:03:16,081 --> 00:03:18,348
I'll be fine.
Yeah, we got this.
71
00:03:18,350 --> 00:03:20,550
Sit down!
72
00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:26,055
Wish me luck.
73
00:03:26,892 --> 00:03:29,058
Other way, buster.
74
00:03:34,366 --> 00:03:36,366
Okay, you ready?
75
00:03:36,368 --> 00:03:39,202
Yeah, almost. I'm working
on my facial expressions.
76
00:03:39,204 --> 00:03:41,838
See, uh, I've got
interested. Hmm.
77
00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:45,275
I've got very interested. Hmm.
78
00:03:45,277 --> 00:03:47,444
Enraged.
79
00:03:49,881 --> 00:03:51,714
Why would you be enraged?
80
00:03:51,716 --> 00:03:53,650
Hmm. Better to have it
and not need it
81
00:03:53,652 --> 00:03:55,418
than to need it and not have it.
82
00:03:55,420 --> 00:03:57,353
Okay.
83
00:03:59,224 --> 00:04:00,423
And...
84
00:04:00,425 --> 00:04:01,791
rolling.
85
00:04:01,793 --> 00:04:04,961
Hello. I am theoretical
physicist, Dr. Sheldon Cooper,
86
00:04:04,963 --> 00:04:07,363
auditioning for the role
of Professor Proton.
87
00:04:07,365 --> 00:04:10,033
Now, excuse me
while I get into character.
88
00:04:12,070 --> 00:04:15,872
Hello. I am Professor Proton.
89
00:04:15,874 --> 00:04:17,574
And today,
90
00:04:17,576 --> 00:04:20,109
boys and girls, we're going
to have fun with science.
91
00:04:20,111 --> 00:04:22,579
Did you know you could calculate
the mass of an electron
92
00:04:22,581 --> 00:04:24,581
using household items?
It's true.
93
00:04:24,583 --> 00:04:26,716
All you'll need is a pencil,
some paper,
94
00:04:26,718 --> 00:04:28,751
dry ice, rubbing alcohol,
95
00:04:28,753 --> 00:04:32,856
and a spool of 50-micron-thick
cobalt-60 wire.
96
00:04:34,292 --> 00:04:36,292
And, remember,
don't put it in your mouth,
97
00:04:36,294 --> 00:04:37,760
or instead
of becoming a scientist,
98
00:04:37,762 --> 00:04:40,630
you'll become
wildly radioactive.
99
00:04:40,632 --> 00:04:43,199
Hang on. I have
a question.
100
00:04:43,201 --> 00:04:46,069
Do you have any experiments
that aren't life-threatening?
101
00:04:46,071 --> 00:04:49,305
Come on! That was a perfect
take, and you ruined it.
102
00:04:50,075 --> 00:04:52,575
Oh, look!
Hey, I did need enraged.
103
00:04:54,779 --> 00:04:57,847
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
104
00:04:57,849 --> 00:04:59,649
- Really hurts, huh?
- No.
105
00:04:59,651 --> 00:05:02,619
He's just saying,
“Ow can these prices be so low”.
106
00:05:04,089 --> 00:05:06,623
It's gonna be okay.
A day or two of rest,
107
00:05:06,625 --> 00:05:07,857
and you'll be fine.
108
00:05:07,859 --> 00:05:10,727
You know nothing
about Jewish people.
109
00:05:13,665 --> 00:05:16,332
Um, let me go check on her.
110
00:05:17,102 --> 00:05:20,136
Okay, uh, this is
a bit awkward.
111
00:05:20,138 --> 00:05:22,372
It says here
that I need to check the area
112
00:05:22,374 --> 00:05:24,908
for redness and swelling.
113
00:05:26,278 --> 00:05:28,912
You know what?
It hurts so much, go ahead.
114
00:05:31,383 --> 00:05:33,249
So you see, boys and girls,
115
00:05:33,251 --> 00:05:36,085
H, or helicity,
is the natural variable
116
00:05:36,087 --> 00:05:39,689
to use relativistically
and is defined as S dot P,
117
00:05:39,691 --> 00:05:41,691
divided
by the magnitude of P.
118
00:05:41,693 --> 00:05:44,060
So the next time someone
on the playground tells you
119
00:05:44,062 --> 00:05:46,396
you can only use integral values
for the matrix
120
00:05:46,398 --> 00:05:48,364
that determines the spin
of the antiproton,
121
00:05:48,366 --> 00:05:51,668
you stop being friends with that
kid, 'cause he's going nowhere.
122
00:05:54,839 --> 00:05:58,074
Until next week, this is
Professor Proton saying,
123
00:05:58,076 --> 00:06:00,810
01000010
124
00:06:00,812 --> 00:06:03,279
01111001
125
00:06:03,281 --> 00:06:06,816
01100101.
126
00:06:06,818 --> 00:06:09,586
That's “bye” in ASCII binary,
127
00:06:09,588 --> 00:06:11,220
or good-binary.
128
00:06:19,531 --> 00:06:22,599
So, what do you think?
129
00:06:22,601 --> 00:06:23,900
Well, I
already told him
130
00:06:23,902 --> 00:06:25,401
that I loved it,
131
00:06:25,403 --> 00:06:29,072
but if you found it
confusing or dangerous or--
132
00:06:29,074 --> 00:06:32,709
I don't know-- three
to four times too long,
133
00:06:32,711 --> 00:06:35,511
now is the time to share.
134
00:06:35,513 --> 00:06:38,881
I... I don't know
what to say.
135
00:06:38,883 --> 00:06:41,084
Leonard, do you
know what to say?
136
00:06:41,086 --> 00:06:43,886
Sheldon, uh,
I thought it, uh...
137
00:06:43,888 --> 00:06:46,990
It-it looked like
you were having so much fun.
138
00:06:47,859 --> 00:06:49,192
Hey!
139
00:06:49,194 --> 00:06:50,927
That's what you used
to tell me to say to Penny
140
00:06:50,929 --> 00:06:52,195
after one of her
terrible plays.
141
00:06:52,197 --> 00:06:55,498
Hey!
Hey!
142
00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:57,867
Well, what was wrong
with it?
143
00:06:57,869 --> 00:06:59,702
You know, did you find it...
144
00:06:59,704 --> 00:07:02,405
borderline psychotic?
145
00:07:02,407 --> 00:07:03,940
I mean,
146
00:07:03,942 --> 00:07:05,475
I liked that
about it, but...
147
00:07:05,477 --> 00:07:08,211
you guys discuss.
148
00:07:08,213 --> 00:07:10,279
Do you remember
when you were a kid
149
00:07:10,281 --> 00:07:12,482
and you'd watch
Professor Proton?
150
00:07:12,484 --> 00:07:14,050
Of course.
Well,
151
00:07:14,052 --> 00:07:16,853
did he ever make you--
I don't know--
152
00:07:16,855 --> 00:07:19,856
hate science
and the people who do it?
153
00:07:19,858 --> 00:07:21,658
What are you saying?
154
00:07:21,660 --> 00:07:24,127
I-I just think
it would be... better
155
00:07:24,129 --> 00:07:25,928
if your contempt
for children
156
00:07:25,930 --> 00:07:28,431
wasn't so much
in the foreground.
157
00:07:28,433 --> 00:07:30,299
Well, you want me to lie?
158
00:07:30,301 --> 00:07:33,202
Well, it's not
lying-- it's acting.
159
00:07:33,204 --> 00:07:34,437
Sheldon Cooper
may not like kids,
160
00:07:34,439 --> 00:07:36,906
but Professor Proton loves them.
161
00:07:36,908 --> 00:07:39,008
Interesting.
162
00:07:39,010 --> 00:07:40,977
You know, I hadn't
really thought
163
00:07:40,979 --> 00:07:42,245
of it that way.
164
00:07:42,247 --> 00:07:45,682
It-It's similar
to how I'm afraid of dogs,
165
00:07:45,684 --> 00:07:48,518
but my D&D character likes dogs,
you know?
166
00:07:49,721 --> 00:07:52,488
But he's allergic,
so he can't be around them.
167
00:07:52,490 --> 00:07:56,325
Why don't we
have a dog?
168
00:07:57,996 --> 00:07:59,462
Hey, you can
always reshoot it.
169
00:07:59,464 --> 00:08:02,465
Mm, I suppose. And, you know,
maybe I could even get some tips
170
00:08:02,467 --> 00:08:04,801
- from someone who's acted professionally.
- Oh.
171
00:08:04,803 --> 00:08:08,905
Sheldon, obviously,
I'd be happy to help you out.
172
00:08:09,741 --> 00:08:12,442
I don't know what to say.
173
00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:16,412
Hey, Sheldon. What's up?
174
00:08:16,414 --> 00:08:19,182
I need an acting coach.
Oh.
175
00:08:19,184 --> 00:08:21,384
Would you give me
Patrick Stewart's number?
176
00:08:21,386 --> 00:08:23,686
No.
177
00:08:23,688 --> 00:08:25,288
Fine. I guess you can do it.
178
00:08:30,195 --> 00:08:32,895
Bernie?
179
00:08:34,132 --> 00:08:35,565
Where did you get a bell?
180
00:08:35,567 --> 00:08:36,833
App store.
181
00:08:39,304 --> 00:08:41,571
Fun. Let me see.
182
00:08:43,475 --> 00:08:46,008
When you catch me,
you can have it back.
183
00:08:46,010 --> 00:08:48,745
You want to lie down,
184
00:08:48,747 --> 00:08:50,213
watch a movie?
185
00:08:50,215 --> 00:08:52,548
I can't. I got my 16-week
checkup to get to,
186
00:08:52,550 --> 00:08:54,417
and then I'll pick up
some Chinese for dinner.
187
00:08:54,419 --> 00:08:55,718
I'll take Halley with me.
188
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:58,020
You-you sure
you're not overdoing it?
189
00:08:58,022 --> 00:08:59,155
No, it's fine.
Great.
190
00:08:59,157 --> 00:09:00,423
Then maybe,
instead of Chinese,
191
00:09:00,425 --> 00:09:02,458
fire up the grill
and throw on a couple of steaks?
192
00:09:04,496 --> 00:09:06,929
Kung pao chicken, please.
193
00:09:09,934 --> 00:09:11,701
Oh, boy.
What?
194
00:09:11,703 --> 00:09:13,636
They cast the new
Professor Proton.
195
00:09:13,638 --> 00:09:14,871
Is it Sheldon?
196
00:09:14,873 --> 00:09:16,672
Not exactly.
197
00:09:16,674 --> 00:09:17,974
Wheaton!
198
00:09:17,976 --> 00:09:20,176
It's Wil Wheaton.
199
00:09:31,435 --> 00:09:33,035
Hi.
200
00:09:33,037 --> 00:09:34,437
Hey.
201
00:09:34,439 --> 00:09:36,172
How was the doctor?
202
00:09:36,174 --> 00:09:38,207
Good, but I have some news.
203
00:09:38,209 --> 00:09:40,143
Don't say twins. Don't say
twins. Don't say twins.
204
00:09:40,145 --> 00:09:41,577
Don't say twins.
205
00:09:41,579 --> 00:09:42,879
It's not twins.
206
00:09:42,881 --> 00:09:46,149
Oh. I mean, because
I would have loved them both.
207
00:09:46,151 --> 00:09:48,618
The doctor said
I was overdoing it,
208
00:09:48,620 --> 00:09:51,287
so she put me on bed rest
just to be safe.
209
00:09:51,289 --> 00:09:53,623
Oh, no.
210
00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:04,768
It may not look like it,
but I'm running to you!
211
00:10:17,582 --> 00:10:18,748
Hello, Arthur.
212
00:10:18,750 --> 00:10:21,851
What-what part
of “rest in peace”
213
00:10:21,853 --> 00:10:24,321
don't you understand?
214
00:10:27,225 --> 00:10:29,659
I suppose you're here
because you heard the news?
215
00:10:29,661 --> 00:10:32,262
Sheldon, I'm a figment
of your imagination.
216
00:10:32,264 --> 00:10:35,432
I don't hear news.
217
00:10:35,434 --> 00:10:37,967
You're a grumpy figment.
218
00:10:40,205 --> 00:10:43,039
Look, they're remaking
your show,
219
00:10:43,041 --> 00:10:46,309
and they cast Wil Wheaton
as Professor Proton.
220
00:10:46,311 --> 00:10:49,379
And the worst part is,
he's not even a scientist.
221
00:10:49,381 --> 00:10:51,781
No, the-the worst part is,
222
00:10:51,783 --> 00:10:54,951
I'm sitting on a moist log.
223
00:10:57,856 --> 00:11:01,658
We have to stop this
and protect your legacy.
224
00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:03,126
What legacy?
225
00:11:03,128 --> 00:11:06,563
My-my last two seasons,
I was on Sunday morning
226
00:11:06,565 --> 00:11:07,864
at 5:30.
227
00:11:07,866 --> 00:11:12,669
We-we were beat
by Davey and Goliath.
228
00:11:12,671 --> 00:11:14,938
I can't believe
you don't care.
229
00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:18,074
Believe it.
230
00:11:18,076 --> 00:11:21,044
Well, I care, a lot,
231
00:11:21,046 --> 00:11:25,115
and Wil Wheaton will rue
the day he ever met me.
232
00:11:25,951 --> 00:11:29,519
I think that's true
of most people.
233
00:11:33,492 --> 00:11:35,859
Hi, guys.
234
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:37,494
Wanted to check in
and see how you two were doing.
235
00:11:37,496 --> 00:11:38,661
We're okay.
236
00:11:38,663 --> 00:11:40,330
Yeah, hanging out
in bed with my wife,
237
00:11:40,332 --> 00:11:44,367
thawing out some frozen peas
in my pants-- living the dream.
238
00:11:46,605 --> 00:11:48,304
Oh, I'll get her.
239
00:11:48,306 --> 00:11:49,739
I thought
Raj was helping you out.
240
00:11:49,741 --> 00:11:50,974
No, he had to work.
241
00:11:50,976 --> 00:11:52,475
Plus, he has a quota
242
00:11:52,477 --> 00:11:54,778
for the amount of Indian
servant jokes he can tolerate,
243
00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:56,413
and, apparently, I filled it.
244
00:11:56,415 --> 00:11:58,982
Well, you're...
I can get the baby.
245
00:11:58,984 --> 00:12:01,217
No, Howie's got it.
He's fine. Right, Howie?
246
00:12:01,219 --> 00:12:03,586
Never better.
247
00:12:03,588 --> 00:12:05,088
Don't be silly.
248
00:12:05,090 --> 00:12:07,157
I'll take the rest of the day
off and watch Halley for you.
249
00:12:07,159 --> 00:12:08,925
Or we can call Stuart.
250
00:12:08,927 --> 00:12:10,460
I'm sure he could
close up the store,
251
00:12:10,462 --> 00:12:12,762
hop on a bus, and
be here in no time.
252
00:12:12,764 --> 00:12:16,032
He does love the bus.
253
00:12:16,034 --> 00:12:17,333
Okay, hang on.
254
00:12:17,335 --> 00:12:19,836
Do you guys not trust me
to take care of your baby?
255
00:12:19,838 --> 00:12:22,172
No.
No!
256
00:12:22,174 --> 00:12:23,640
No.
No.
257
00:12:23,642 --> 00:12:25,375
So I-I guess...
258
00:12:25,377 --> 00:12:27,844
no.
259
00:12:27,846 --> 00:12:30,180
Wow.
260
00:12:30,182 --> 00:12:32,348
It's not that we don't trust
you-- it's just you don't seem
261
00:12:32,350 --> 00:12:34,517
like much of a baby person.
Hey,
262
00:12:34,519 --> 00:12:38,054
hey, hey, I can watch
your stupid baby, okay?
263
00:12:39,357 --> 00:12:41,291
If she cries,
I will pick her up.
264
00:12:41,293 --> 00:12:43,259
If she's hungry,
I'll give her a bottle.
265
00:12:43,261 --> 00:12:46,162
And if she poops,
I'll light some incense.
266
00:12:46,164 --> 00:12:48,631
It would be a big help.
267
00:12:48,633 --> 00:12:50,533
Okay. Thank you.
268
00:12:50,535 --> 00:12:52,435
Trust me, you guys have
nothing to worry about.
269
00:12:52,437 --> 00:12:53,903
You know, back
in Nebraska,
270
00:12:53,905 --> 00:12:55,004
I raised all our baby pigs
271
00:12:55,006 --> 00:12:56,406
right until the day
they were slaughtered.
272
00:12:56,408 --> 00:12:59,809
So, unless your baby's made
of breakfast meat,
273
00:12:59,811 --> 00:13:01,044
she's fine.
274
00:13:03,882 --> 00:13:05,682
Would you ever get
a vasectomy?
275
00:13:05,684 --> 00:13:08,251
Uh, in case you haven't
noticed, Indians aren't
276
00:13:08,253 --> 00:13:10,053
too big on birth control.
277
00:13:10,055 --> 00:13:12,255
There's probably,
like, a million more of us
278
00:13:12,257 --> 00:13:14,424
since we started
this conversation.
279
00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:17,093
Ugh.
280
00:13:17,095 --> 00:13:18,328
You okay?
281
00:13:18,330 --> 00:13:19,462
No.
282
00:13:19,464 --> 00:13:21,798
No, all these comments online
about Wil,
283
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,434
they're nothing but supportive
and kind.
284
00:13:25,370 --> 00:13:26,736
Where's the mean,
snarky Internet
285
00:13:26,738 --> 00:13:29,239
that shows up every time
I get a haircut?
286
00:13:30,675 --> 00:13:32,275
You know that's us, right?
287
00:13:34,646 --> 00:13:38,114
Well, luckily,
I got the number of the company
288
00:13:38,116 --> 00:13:39,516
who's trying to reboot the show,
289
00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:41,851
so I need you all to call and
register your displeasure.
290
00:13:41,853 --> 00:13:43,620
Sheldon, no one's
gonna do that.
291
00:13:43,622 --> 00:13:46,322
Not true. I know of three calls
they've received already:
292
00:13:46,324 --> 00:13:47,724
a-a Southern gentleman,
293
00:13:47,726 --> 00:13:50,560
um, a Cockney chimney sweep,
294
00:13:50,562 --> 00:13:51,694
and, uh,
295
00:13:51,696 --> 00:13:53,363
Mr. T, hmm?
296
00:13:53,365 --> 00:13:55,465
Who-- spoiler alert--
297
00:13:55,467 --> 00:13:58,201
pities the fool
who tries to reboot that show.
298
00:13:58,203 --> 00:14:00,670
What about tiresome lunatic
with a bad haircut?
299
00:14:00,672 --> 00:14:02,005
Has he called yet?
300
00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:03,706
Come on.
301
00:14:03,708 --> 00:14:05,542
How many times have
we banded together
302
00:14:05,544 --> 00:14:07,443
to try to save a
show that we loved?
303
00:14:07,445 --> 00:14:11,114
L-Let's shake things up
and try to kill one.
304
00:14:11,116 --> 00:14:12,982
Isn't the important thing
that there's a show
305
00:14:12,984 --> 00:14:15,051
to get kids excited
about science?
306
00:14:15,053 --> 00:14:17,120
Who cares about kids
and what they like?
307
00:14:17,122 --> 00:14:22,959
This is about me and something
I liked when-when I was a kid.
308
00:14:23,662 --> 00:14:25,128
What if the reboot is great?
309
00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:26,663
That's even worse.
310
00:14:26,665 --> 00:14:29,632
If-if I like it, I'll feel like
I'm being disloyal to Arthur.
311
00:14:29,634 --> 00:14:32,101
He was a mentor
and a friend,
312
00:14:32,103 --> 00:14:34,637
and I won't toss him aside
for some Hollywood pretty boy
313
00:14:34,639 --> 00:14:36,372
like Wil Wheaton.
314
00:14:36,374 --> 00:14:38,775
It's hard to argue with him.
315
00:14:38,777 --> 00:14:40,310
Because he makes no sense? Yeah.
316
00:14:42,681 --> 00:14:44,681
This is actually
kind of nice,
317
00:14:44,683 --> 00:14:48,151
you and me getting to spend
a couple days in bed together.
318
00:14:48,153 --> 00:14:50,787
Yeah. Pretty soon, we're
gonna have two crying babies
319
00:14:50,789 --> 00:14:52,355
in the house.
320
00:14:52,357 --> 00:14:55,425
I'm glad my balls hurt.
It's all their fault.
321
00:14:57,262 --> 00:14:59,462
Well, let's just enjoy
this quiet time
322
00:14:59,464 --> 00:15:00,730
while we still got it.
323
00:15:00,732 --> 00:15:02,832
Yeah.
324
00:15:02,834 --> 00:15:06,069
Yeah, it is
really quiet.
325
00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:08,871
You think
Penny's doing okay?
326
00:15:08,873 --> 00:15:11,641
Penny, everything
all right?!
327
00:15:13,845 --> 00:15:15,411
Hey. All good.
328
00:15:15,413 --> 00:15:18,514
Dipped her pacifier in a little
bourbon, she conked right out.
329
00:15:20,385 --> 00:15:21,985
I hope you're joking.
330
00:15:21,987 --> 00:15:25,455
Of course I'm joking.
I don't share my bourbon.
331
00:15:26,992 --> 00:15:28,291
She's joking.
332
00:15:28,293 --> 00:15:31,628
Definitely.
333
00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:34,263
Probably.
334
00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:39,802
Wil Wheaton. Wil Wheaton.
335
00:15:39,804 --> 00:15:42,005
This is Sheldon, by the way.
336
00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:45,875
Hi, Sheldon.
337
00:15:45,877 --> 00:15:49,412
Here, I found this pizza flyer
in your fence.
338
00:15:49,414 --> 00:15:50,446
Thank you.
339
00:15:50,448 --> 00:15:52,615
Okay, now you owe me a favor.
340
00:15:53,518 --> 00:15:55,818
Turn down the role
of Professor Proton.
341
00:15:55,820 --> 00:15:57,420
I don't think so.
342
00:15:57,422 --> 00:16:01,124
You can't be Professor Proton.
You're not a scientist.
343
00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:02,358
Well, I was never on a starship,
344
00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:04,594
but pretending I was
bought me this house.
345
00:16:04,596 --> 00:16:06,629
And if I'd pretended
a little longer,
346
00:16:06,631 --> 00:16:08,731
it would have a swimming pool.
347
00:16:08,733 --> 00:16:11,234
Some things
shouldn't be rebooted.
348
00:16:11,236 --> 00:16:13,202
Some things were perfect
the way they were.
349
00:16:13,204 --> 00:16:15,805
Like the walled city of York--
it was a delight.
350
00:16:15,807 --> 00:16:18,941
But New York? Blech.
351
00:16:18,943 --> 00:16:22,011
Did you ever consider that maybe
Arthur would be happy to know
352
00:16:22,013 --> 00:16:23,680
that his show has outlived him?
353
00:16:23,682 --> 00:16:24,714
I doubt it.
354
00:16:24,716 --> 00:16:27,083
He was kind of a mean old crank.
355
00:16:27,085 --> 00:16:31,354
Sheldon, I promise
that I will work my hardest
356
00:16:31,356 --> 00:16:32,789
to make this show great
357
00:16:32,791 --> 00:16:34,390
so that a whole
new generation of kids
358
00:16:34,392 --> 00:16:36,392
will grow up
and they will be able to say
359
00:16:36,394 --> 00:16:39,962
that Professor Proton was the
reason they got into science.
360
00:16:40,799 --> 00:16:42,598
Wow.
361
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:45,134
That was very persuasive.
362
00:16:45,136 --> 00:16:46,302
Thanks.
363
00:16:46,304 --> 00:16:48,304
But I won't be seduced
by your acting skills
364
00:16:48,306 --> 00:16:51,007
nor your movie star charisma.
365
00:16:52,310 --> 00:16:53,976
There's
only one Professor Proton,
366
00:16:53,978 --> 00:16:56,412
and he had neither
of those things.
367
00:16:56,414 --> 00:16:59,115
I'll give you one more
chance to bow out.
368
00:16:59,117 --> 00:17:01,317
Or what?
369
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:04,954
When we first met,
we were enemies,
370
00:17:04,956 --> 00:17:08,458
but we worked through that
and we became friends.
371
00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:10,460
Do you really want to go back?
372
00:17:10,462 --> 00:17:13,796
Honestly, it doesn't feel
very different.
373
00:17:16,935 --> 00:17:18,634
I'm not leaving!
374
00:17:18,636 --> 00:17:21,337
All right, I'm gonna sic
my dog on you.
375
00:17:22,173 --> 00:17:24,173
You don't have a dog.
376
00:17:24,175 --> 00:17:25,575
Yes, I do.
377
00:17:25,577 --> 00:17:27,510
Ugh, I can't tell
if you're lying--
378
00:17:27,512 --> 00:17:28,845
you're such a good actor!
379
00:17:33,251 --> 00:17:34,751
Hey, how you doing?
380
00:17:34,753 --> 00:17:36,753
What are you
doing here?
381
00:17:36,755 --> 00:17:41,858
Oh, I just came by, you know,
to see if you need any help.
382
00:17:41,860 --> 00:17:43,826
Howard and Bernadette
asked you to check up on me.
383
00:17:43,828 --> 00:17:45,862
That is not entirely true.
384
00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:49,031
So did Leonard and... everybody.
385
00:17:49,033 --> 00:17:52,168
How irresponsible
do you all think I am?
386
00:17:52,170 --> 00:17:54,070
We don't think
you're irresponsible.
387
00:17:54,072 --> 00:17:55,805
We think you're...
388
00:17:55,807 --> 00:17:57,774
fun-loving.
389
00:17:57,776 --> 00:18:01,210
That is just a nice word
for “irresponsible.”
390
00:18:01,212 --> 00:18:04,781
Hmm. You might be more
on the ball than we thought.
391
00:18:06,885 --> 00:18:09,118
I'm getting
a little hungry.
392
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:10,620
Want me to get
it this time?
393
00:18:10,622 --> 00:18:12,555
That'd be great.
394
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:17,627
This is fun.
395
00:18:17,629 --> 00:18:19,729
And now you also get
to see an annoyed blonde
396
00:18:19,731 --> 00:18:21,964
walk into the room.
397
00:18:21,966 --> 00:18:24,734
What?
398
00:18:24,736 --> 00:18:26,769
Can you get us
a little snack?
399
00:18:26,771 --> 00:18:29,438
You sure you don't want
your spy to do it?
400
00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:30,873
What are you talking about?
401
00:18:30,875 --> 00:18:33,209
You really don't trust me?
You had to have Amy stop by?
402
00:18:33,211 --> 00:18:34,777
We trust you.
Yeah.
403
00:18:34,779 --> 00:18:36,479
You were a terrible waitress,
404
00:18:36,481 --> 00:18:39,382
and we still asked you
to get us a snack.
405
00:18:41,719 --> 00:18:44,320
Excuse me while I go
take care of your baby.
406
00:18:44,322 --> 00:18:45,421
Then I'll bring
you your snack,
407
00:18:45,423 --> 00:18:47,323
and you can insult me some more.
408
00:18:48,927 --> 00:18:50,326
I don't know
about you,
409
00:18:50,328 --> 00:18:54,597
but I am not eating
whatever she brings us.
410
00:18:54,599 --> 00:18:57,233
Hey, Halley. Aw, it's okay.
411
00:18:57,235 --> 00:19:00,469
Auntie Penny's here. Shh.
Let's get you changed.
412
00:19:00,471 --> 00:19:02,438
Your mommy and daddy say
they trust me,
413
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,841
but they're full of
the same stuff your diaper is.
414
00:19:05,977 --> 00:19:08,811
Now I feel bad.
415
00:19:08,813 --> 00:19:10,546
Well, she never really liked me.
416
00:19:10,548 --> 00:19:13,182
It's kind of nice
she hates you now, too.
417
00:19:13,184 --> 00:19:15,451
Aw, but I'm here for you,
418
00:19:15,453 --> 00:19:17,053
and I would never let anything
happen to you,
419
00:19:17,055 --> 00:19:20,089
because your Auntie Penny
loves you so much.
420
00:19:20,091 --> 00:19:22,325
Mama.
421
00:19:29,067 --> 00:19:31,167
Was that her first word?
422
00:19:31,169 --> 00:19:33,603
Mama.
423
00:19:33,605 --> 00:19:36,172
Uh, no. No, baby.
I'm not your mama.
424
00:19:36,174 --> 00:19:38,975
Your mama's the nice lady
we're gonna go see right now
425
00:19:38,977 --> 00:19:42,311
so I can rub this in her face.
426
00:19:42,313 --> 00:19:43,980
Do you hear that, suckers?
427
00:19:43,982 --> 00:19:46,782
She called me Mama!
428
00:20:04,617 --> 00:20:06,850
Hello, Arthur.
429
00:20:06,852 --> 00:20:08,719
You-you know,
430
00:20:08,721 --> 00:20:14,124
we could... we could also meet
in-in a deli.
431
00:20:15,928 --> 00:20:18,529
I'm sorry to say
that I failed you.
432
00:20:18,531 --> 00:20:21,365
I tried to stop Wil Wheaton
being Professor Proton,
433
00:20:21,367 --> 00:20:23,100
but I couldn't.
434
00:20:23,102 --> 00:20:26,337
See, now,
that's-that's the kind of thing
435
00:20:26,339 --> 00:20:29,807
you could tell a fella over a...
436
00:20:29,809 --> 00:20:32,476
pastrami sandwich.
437
00:20:36,682 --> 00:20:38,382
Well, don't worry.
438
00:20:38,384 --> 00:20:40,951
He's now on my enemies list
forever.
439
00:20:40,953 --> 00:20:42,619
He's totally cut off.
440
00:20:42,621 --> 00:20:44,321
Interesting.
441
00:20:44,323 --> 00:20:48,713
Can-can anyone sign-sign up
for that list?
442
00:20:54,408 --> 00:21:01,308
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man