1
00:00:01,062 --> 00:00:02,570
♪♪
2
00:00:02,917 --> 00:00:04,698
It feels like it
wasn't that long ago
3
00:00:04,756 --> 00:00:06,683
we were here doing
this for Halley.
4
00:00:06,826 --> 00:00:08,854
'Cause it wasn't.
5
00:00:09,784 --> 00:00:11,370
Which reminds me,
before we leave,
6
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:13,362
let's get you a vasectomy.
7
00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:18,206
Oh, that's sweet, but
today is all about you.
8
00:00:20,136 --> 00:00:22,792
So, you two ready to find
out the sex of this baby?
9
00:00:22,862 --> 00:00:24,343
- Yeah.
- Absolutely.
10
00:00:24,401 --> 00:00:25,495
Is Halley hoping
11
00:00:25,553 --> 00:00:27,448
for a little brother
or a little sister?
12
00:00:27,808 --> 00:00:29,101
Well, she's nine months old,
13
00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:32,698
so unless it jingles or is
in my bra, she doesn't care.
14
00:00:33,792 --> 00:00:36,229
And how about you two?
15
00:00:36,675 --> 00:00:39,554
You know, for the first one,
we really wanted a girl,
16
00:00:39,619 --> 00:00:42,081
but this time around, we
don't have a preference.
17
00:00:42,156 --> 00:00:44,972
Yeah. Boy, girl,
as long as it's healthy.
18
00:00:45,108 --> 00:00:47,409
Well, it's a boy.
19
00:00:47,484 --> 00:00:49,183
(heartbeat pulsing)
20
00:00:49,308 --> 00:00:51,128
- Oh.
- Oh.
21
00:00:52,690 --> 00:00:55,151
Come on, you can't
really be disappointed.
22
00:00:55,209 --> 00:00:57,276
Hey, I barely know
how to be a man myself.
23
00:00:57,346 --> 00:00:58,987
Now I have
to teach someone?
24
00:00:59,512 --> 00:01:03,300
As the saying goes,
“Those who can't do, teach”"
25
00:01:04,566 --> 00:01:06,565
Don't you want a little
version of Howard?
26
00:01:06,666 --> 00:01:09,331
I already have a little
version of Howard.
27
00:01:10,386 --> 00:01:12,128
Now I'm having a son?
28
00:01:12,186 --> 00:01:15,331
I'll have to teach him
how to play sports,
29
00:01:15,389 --> 00:01:17,604
and-and watch sports
30
00:01:17,662 --> 00:01:20,564
and-and-and-and-and-and...
31
00:01:20,631 --> 00:01:23,597
He just ran out of man things.
He's in trouble.
32
00:01:25,567 --> 00:01:27,339
It's okay. We're
all here to help.
33
00:01:27,452 --> 00:01:31,003
Yes. And this baby will have
plenty of manly role models.
34
00:01:31,115 --> 00:01:33,967
Now, I'm certain that whatever
Bernadette can't teach him,
35
00:01:34,025 --> 00:01:35,519
Penny can.
36
00:01:37,190 --> 00:01:39,300
- Uh, she can pee into a bottle.
- Mm hmm.
37
00:01:39,358 --> 00:01:41,592
Anything with a neck
wider than a nickel.
38
00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:47,210
Howie, there's a lot of amazing
things you can teach a son.
39
00:01:47,277 --> 00:01:50,545
Yeah. You do always know how
to pick just the right antacid.
40
00:01:50,612 --> 00:01:53,483
I don't know if
I can teach that.
41
00:01:53,550 --> 00:01:55,952
It's just something
I was born with.
42
00:01:56,053 --> 00:01:57,687
Come on. You can build things.
43
00:01:57,745 --> 00:01:59,447
You were an astronaut.
44
00:01:59,587 --> 00:02:00,720
That's true.
45
00:02:00,801 --> 00:02:03,335
You know, as a kid,
I used to make model rockets.
46
00:02:03,393 --> 00:02:04,914
That'd be pretty cool
to do with a son.
47
00:02:04,980 --> 00:02:07,915
Model rockets. Finally,
something interesting.
48
00:02:08,587 --> 00:02:10,814
What is your preferred
mode of recovery?
49
00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:13,367
Sheldon, we're helping
our friends.
50
00:02:13,532 --> 00:02:16,407
And we got to model
rockets, yeah?
51
00:02:16,489 --> 00:02:19,532
It was a tedious road,
but well worth the effort.
52
00:02:20,417 --> 00:02:22,117
- So, have you thought of any names?
- Amy.
53
00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:23,438
We finally got
to model rockets.
54
00:02:23,496 --> 00:02:25,078
Why are you
turning back?
55
00:02:26,416 --> 00:02:29,719
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
56
00:02:29,784 --> 00:02:33,567
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
57
00:02:33,633 --> 00:02:34,836
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
58
00:02:34,894 --> 00:02:37,797
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
59
00:02:37,894 --> 00:02:39,977
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
60
00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:42,712
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
61
00:02:42,770 --> 00:02:44,864
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
62
00:02:44,922 --> 00:02:46,226
♪ Bang! ♪
63
00:02:46,284 --> 00:02:49,031
*THE BIG BANG THEORY*
Season 11 Episode 04
Title: "The Explosion Implosion"
64
00:02:55,728 --> 00:02:56,855
Hey, where are you going?
65
00:02:56,913 --> 00:02:58,689
Back to the dry cleaner.
Look at this.
66
00:02:58,747 --> 00:03:01,267
They didn't get the stain
out of my Starfleet uniform.
67
00:03:01,439 --> 00:03:04,205
Well, if you didn't make me wear
the green body paint in bed,
68
00:03:04,263 --> 00:03:06,838
you wouldn't have to get it
dry-cleaned so much.
69
00:03:08,017 --> 00:03:09,752
Nah, it's worth it.
70
00:03:10,721 --> 00:03:11,928
(Skype ringtone playing)
71
00:03:11,986 --> 00:03:13,010
Hey, wait, it's your mom.
72
00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:15,541
Oh, too bad.
She just missed me!
73
00:03:19,414 --> 00:03:20,681
Hey, Beverly.
74
00:03:20,739 --> 00:03:21,877
Oh, hello, Penny.
75
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,134
Uh, Leonard just left.
76
00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:25,603
He's gonna be so upset
he missed your call.
77
00:03:25,803 --> 00:03:26,916
Why?
78
00:03:28,392 --> 00:03:29,525
Because he...
79
00:03:29,583 --> 00:03:30,619
Yeah, I don't know.
80
00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:31,986
How are you?
81
00:03:32,548 --> 00:03:34,985
Did you mean personally
or professionally?
82
00:03:35,197 --> 00:03:36,596
Um, personally?
83
00:03:36,704 --> 00:03:38,478
Like, what'd you do last night?
84
00:03:38,538 --> 00:03:41,064
I had Cuban food
at the home of a man
85
00:03:41,122 --> 00:03:44,533
with whom I shared
unsatisfying intercourse.
86
00:03:46,951 --> 00:03:49,518
Wow. Okay.
87
00:03:51,255 --> 00:03:53,431
And to anticipate
your next questions,
88
00:03:53,535 --> 00:03:56,738
roasted pork
and sideways missionary.
89
00:03:59,486 --> 00:04:02,721
Sure. Sure.
'Cause you were full.
90
00:04:03,728 --> 00:04:04,877
♪♪
91
00:04:05,150 --> 00:04:07,900
I haven't looked
at all this stuff in years.
92
00:04:08,111 --> 00:04:09,138
Had it.
93
00:04:09,205 --> 00:04:10,541
Had it.
94
00:04:10,767 --> 00:04:12,963
Burnt down my garage with it.
95
00:04:13,674 --> 00:04:15,549
I had three model rockets
as a kid,
96
00:04:15,617 --> 00:04:18,408
and that was the largest
space program in India.
97
00:04:19,275 --> 00:04:21,478
You have a replica Saturn V?
98
00:04:21,622 --> 00:04:25,158
Yeah. My dad bought it
before he, you know,
99
00:04:25,281 --> 00:04:26,892
abandoned our family.
100
00:04:27,099 --> 00:04:28,994
Lucky duck.
101
00:04:30,478 --> 00:04:33,775
Could never bring myself to
open it without him. (chuckles)
102
00:04:33,842 --> 00:04:35,312
It's silly.
103
00:04:35,430 --> 00:04:36,617
No, it's not silly.
104
00:04:36,675 --> 00:04:38,736
I always wanted my dad
to build rockets with me,
105
00:04:38,794 --> 00:04:40,283
but he wasn't interested.
106
00:04:40,369 --> 00:04:42,596
Ah, yes, disappointing
fathers.
107
00:04:42,654 --> 00:04:43,838
Tell me about it.
108
00:04:43,926 --> 00:04:47,064
I remember for my 16th birthday,
my dad bought me a Mercedes.
109
00:04:47,299 --> 00:04:50,455
Like, a little one,
like a starter Mercedes.
110
00:04:51,260 --> 00:04:52,885
He had barely handed me
the keys
111
00:04:52,950 --> 00:04:54,424
before he had
to rush back to work.
112
00:04:54,487 --> 00:04:58,260
I didn't see him again till,
like, pretty late that night.
113
00:05:01,025 --> 00:05:02,892
Anyway...
114
00:05:04,556 --> 00:05:07,588
as angry as I was
with him leaving,
115
00:05:07,947 --> 00:05:09,850
building this stuff
is probably what led me
116
00:05:09,908 --> 00:05:11,325
to become an engineer.
117
00:05:11,658 --> 00:05:13,549
I suppose, in his own way,
118
00:05:13,607 --> 00:05:15,970
my dad also encouraged me
to pursue science.
119
00:05:16,048 --> 00:05:17,166
I mean, he is the one
that taught me
120
00:05:17,224 --> 00:05:19,666
that flatulence
is combustible.
121
00:05:21,056 --> 00:05:24,666
And also, polyester
gym shorts don't burn.
122
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,525
They melt.
123
00:05:27,533 --> 00:05:30,064
Yeah, I guess I'm an
astrophysicist because,
124
00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:32,181
as a kid, I said I like
to look at the stars,
125
00:05:32,244 --> 00:05:33,939
so... my dad sent me to Hawaii
126
00:05:33,997 --> 00:05:36,760
to visit the Keck telescope.
127
00:05:38,751 --> 00:05:41,174
Screw you. My pain is real.
128
00:05:44,713 --> 00:05:47,142
You know what?
Forget the past.
129
00:05:47,353 --> 00:05:50,207
What do you say you and
me build this rocket?
130
00:05:50,359 --> 00:05:51,682
That sounds like
it could be
131
00:05:51,740 --> 00:05:53,736
a real bonding
experience for us.
132
00:05:53,846 --> 00:05:54,994
Right?
133
00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:57,627
Oh, I see.
Oh, you think that's a positive.
134
00:06:00,830 --> 00:06:02,017
♪♪
135
00:06:02,361 --> 00:06:04,728
So, you don't want to hang out
with Sheldon and Howard?
136
00:06:04,848 --> 00:06:07,404
No, they were bonding
over their sad childhoods,
137
00:06:07,462 --> 00:06:10,642
and my stupid parents
were always there for me.
138
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,473
What's all this?
139
00:06:13,555 --> 00:06:15,877
I'm just boxing up all
the clothes Halley's outgrown.
140
00:06:15,971 --> 00:06:17,408
Guess we won't
need them anymore.
141
00:06:17,466 --> 00:06:18,908
Oh, well, slow down.
142
00:06:18,966 --> 00:06:21,502
I'm sure there's some
you could reuse for a boy.
143
00:06:22,096 --> 00:06:24,181
“Daddy's little girl”?
144
00:06:24,681 --> 00:06:27,197
Okay, well, what if we, uh,
change it to say,
145
00:06:27,272 --> 00:06:29,525
“Daddy's little girl magnet”?
146
00:06:29,679 --> 00:06:31,414
Boom! Boy shirt.
147
00:06:33,237 --> 00:06:34,403
What about this?
148
00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:35,697
Uh, okay.
149
00:06:35,755 --> 00:06:38,291
Uh, pull off the skirt,
slap a lightning bolt on the front,
150
00:06:38,349 --> 00:06:40,458
and you got baby Flash.
151
00:06:40,708 --> 00:06:42,387
Ooh.
Stick a long sleeve under it.
152
00:06:42,445 --> 00:06:44,747
Boom! Baby Sheldon.
153
00:06:46,590 --> 00:06:47,902
Wow, you're really good at this.
154
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:49,040
Oh, please.
155
00:06:49,098 --> 00:06:50,122
This isn't my first time
156
00:06:50,180 --> 00:06:52,783
turning girl clothes
into boy clothes.
157
00:06:53,998 --> 00:06:56,278
Why? You got your sister's
hand-me-downs?
158
00:06:56,866 --> 00:06:58,809
Yeah, that.
159
00:07:02,895 --> 00:07:06,657
Oh. I should've
brought peanuts.
160
00:07:06,724 --> 00:07:08,037
You can't eat peanuts.
You're allergic.
161
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:11,106
If you die, who's going
to drive me home?
162
00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:12,301
I'm not gonna eat them.
163
00:07:12,359 --> 00:07:13,827
It's a thing
they do at JPL.
164
00:07:13,885 --> 00:07:16,184
When the Ranger mission finally
had a successful launch,
165
00:07:16,242 --> 00:07:17,295
there were peanuts
in the room.
166
00:07:17,352 --> 00:07:20,215
Ever since then,
they have them at every launch.
167
00:07:20,489 --> 00:07:23,024
That sounds like
a silly superstition.
168
00:07:23,427 --> 00:07:24,926
It's more of a tradition.
169
00:07:25,033 --> 00:07:27,833
Oh! I do love a tradition.
170
00:07:28,712 --> 00:07:31,770
Could you pull over
at the next peanut store?
171
00:07:32,645 --> 00:07:34,247
I don't think
that's a real thing.
172
00:07:34,305 --> 00:07:35,583
Oh, don't be pedantic.
173
00:07:35,641 --> 00:07:37,209
Any nut store will do.
174
00:07:38,489 --> 00:07:41,801
I-I don't think we can
get peanuts out here.
175
00:07:41,859 --> 00:07:44,325
Ah, well, then
this whole day's ruined.
176
00:07:45,654 --> 00:07:48,903
Now that I think about it, maybe
it is more of a superstition.
177
00:07:48,961 --> 00:07:51,450
Whew! That was close.
178
00:07:55,411 --> 00:07:58,747
(ringtone playing)
179
00:07:59,334 --> 00:08:02,465
Oh, uh, hey, Beverly, you called
my phone, not Leonard's.
180
00:08:02,681 --> 00:08:05,684
Actually, I was hoping
to speak with you.
181
00:08:05,742 --> 00:08:07,310
Is this a good time?
182
00:08:07,768 --> 00:08:09,215
Uh, that depends.
183
00:08:09,273 --> 00:08:10,435
What time is it where you are?
184
00:08:10,492 --> 00:08:11,872
Uh, just after 5:00.
185
00:08:12,606 --> 00:08:14,841
(clears throat)
Yeah, that counts.
186
00:08:14,899 --> 00:08:16,778
What's up?
187
00:08:17,379 --> 00:08:19,903
Well, I enjoyed our conversation
the other day,
188
00:08:19,969 --> 00:08:21,950
and I was hoping to continue it.
189
00:08:22,008 --> 00:08:23,078
Really?
190
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:25,426
Uh, yes. You may
find this surprising,
191
00:08:25,508 --> 00:08:29,176
but I don't have a lot of
what you would call girlfriends.
192
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:32,255
(exaggerated):
What?
193
00:08:33,476 --> 00:08:35,977
Of course, there are
my female colleagues,
194
00:08:36,035 --> 00:08:38,005
but, uh, they're all Freudians,
195
00:08:38,091 --> 00:08:41,489
so the only boy that I can
dish about is my father.
196
00:08:41,571 --> 00:08:43,317
(laughs)
197
00:08:48,189 --> 00:08:49,827
Uh, well, you know,
I'm here for you.
198
00:08:49,885 --> 00:08:51,029
What do you want to talk about?
199
00:08:51,086 --> 00:08:54,090
Well, last time,
we focused on my life.
200
00:08:54,148 --> 00:08:55,965
If we're going to be
real girlfriends,
201
00:08:56,023 --> 00:08:57,919
we should talk about you
as well.
202
00:08:57,985 --> 00:08:59,301
Well, you know,
if we're gonna be
203
00:08:59,359 --> 00:09:01,328
real girlfriends,
we should get a third girl
204
00:09:01,386 --> 00:09:03,817
we can trash behind her back.
205
00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:06,747
Oh, so we'd be catty.
206
00:09:06,910 --> 00:09:08,840
Oh, I like it.
207
00:09:09,401 --> 00:09:11,467
What about Sheldon's fiancée?
208
00:09:11,573 --> 00:09:14,083
She seems a bit dour.
209
00:09:15,301 --> 00:09:17,184
Ooh, “dour.”
210
00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:19,083
Meow.
211
00:09:20,809 --> 00:09:21,981
♪♪
212
00:09:23,169 --> 00:09:24,403
All right.
213
00:09:24,461 --> 00:09:25,661
Here we go.
214
00:09:25,719 --> 00:09:27,788
L-minus ten, nine...
215
00:09:27,846 --> 00:09:30,210
- Wait, what are you doing?
- It's “T-minus”"
216
00:09:30,483 --> 00:09:32,936
I was an astronaut.
We used L-minus.
217
00:09:33,226 --> 00:09:34,772
But this is a Saturn V,
218
00:09:34,883 --> 00:09:36,586
and when they launched those,
they said “T-minus”"
219
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:39,132
It's my rocket!
We're doing it my way.
220
00:09:40,596 --> 00:09:41,960
Fine.
221
00:09:43,687 --> 00:09:45,468
I'm not saying
I know why your dad left,
222
00:09:45,526 --> 00:09:47,546
but I think I'm getting an idea.
223
00:09:49,585 --> 00:09:50,709
L-minus
224
00:09:50,814 --> 00:09:52,682
ten, nine, eight,
225
00:09:52,866 --> 00:09:54,085
seven, six...
226
00:09:54,143 --> 00:09:56,054
'Cause you're
kind of bossy.
227
00:09:57,713 --> 00:10:00,747
Five, four, three, two,
228
00:10:00,805 --> 00:10:02,206
one...
229
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:09,786
I remember them
going up higher.
230
00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:17,971
♪♪
231
00:10:18,190 --> 00:10:19,296
Well, that's perfect.
232
00:10:19,354 --> 00:10:21,208
I mean, the one thing
I thought I could
233
00:10:21,417 --> 00:10:23,945
do with my son,
I can't even do that right.
234
00:10:24,065 --> 00:10:26,721
Well, if you want to see it
again, I got it on video.
235
00:10:27,581 --> 00:10:29,987
Looks pretty cool
in slow motion.
236
00:10:30,573 --> 00:10:32,034
Thank you for
your support.
237
00:10:32,143 --> 00:10:34,245
You're welcome.
I was being sarcastic.
238
00:10:34,312 --> 00:10:35,880
How dare you!
239
00:10:38,143 --> 00:10:40,194
Sheldon, what am I
gonna do?
240
00:10:40,791 --> 00:10:44,265
I mean, what do I know
about raising a boy?
241
00:10:45,369 --> 00:10:47,893
What do you know
about raising a girl?
242
00:10:49,628 --> 00:10:52,143
Oh, my God, you're right.
243
00:10:53,315 --> 00:10:55,542
Well, I don't know if
that was sarcasm or not.
244
00:10:55,628 --> 00:10:59,081
So, either you're welcome,
or hey!
245
00:11:03,650 --> 00:11:05,112
(phone chimes)
246
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,206
Leonard, did you really
just text me from the couch
247
00:11:09,264 --> 00:11:11,776
to put extra mustard
on your sandwich?
248
00:11:12,893 --> 00:11:15,073
I was worried you might not
check your e-mail.
249
00:11:17,533 --> 00:11:18,564
(phone chimes)
250
00:11:18,628 --> 00:11:20,643
I swear to God,
I will throw this out.
251
00:11:20,735 --> 00:11:22,456
That one was not me.
252
00:11:22,690 --> 00:11:24,238
Oh, wait, it was just your mom.
253
00:11:24,698 --> 00:11:26,096
My mother's texting you?
254
00:11:26,167 --> 00:11:27,975
Yeah. We've been talking
a lot lately.
255
00:11:28,298 --> 00:11:29,979
Why?
256
00:11:30,970 --> 00:11:33,948
She sick of talking to
the magic mirror on the wall?
257
00:11:34,994 --> 00:11:36,764
No, I think she's lonely.
258
00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:38,322
She's been reaching out.
259
00:11:38,877 --> 00:11:41,324
Okay, just be careful.
260
00:11:41,541 --> 00:11:43,163
You think you're
getting close to her,
261
00:11:43,221 --> 00:11:45,506
and the next thing you know,
you're featured in a book
262
00:11:45,564 --> 00:11:49,611
called He's Doing It On Purpose:
Raising a Teenage Bed-Wetter.
263
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:52,213
No, it's not like that.
264
00:11:52,271 --> 00:11:54,111
You know, she's been
opening up about her life,
265
00:11:54,169 --> 00:11:56,845
and she's actually been
really supportive about mine.
266
00:11:57,056 --> 00:11:58,342
Really?
Yeah.
267
00:11:58,400 --> 00:11:59,609
I've been telling her
about my job,
268
00:11:59,666 --> 00:12:01,509
and she said
she was proud of me.
269
00:12:02,728 --> 00:12:04,879
Well, that's great.
270
00:12:06,830 --> 00:12:09,478
Never told me
she was proud of me.
271
00:12:10,806 --> 00:12:13,588
Even when I stayed dry
for a whole month.
272
00:12:15,306 --> 00:12:17,322
Do you not want me
to be friends with your mom?
273
00:12:17,431 --> 00:12:18,920
Well, let's be clear.
274
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:21,845
I-I married you to hurt her.
275
00:12:25,009 --> 00:12:26,955
You're kind of ruining it.
276
00:12:29,908 --> 00:12:32,455
Reason number 13
to feel good:
277
00:12:32,744 --> 00:12:34,844
as a launch, it was bad,
278
00:12:35,009 --> 00:12:37,900
but as an explosion,
it was glorious.
279
00:12:39,339 --> 00:12:40,994
Reason 14:
280
00:12:41,119 --> 00:12:43,150
you still have
all your fingers,
281
00:12:43,231 --> 00:12:46,134
and boys prefer
a dad with fingers.
282
00:12:47,009 --> 00:12:48,225
Thanks for trying,
283
00:12:48,283 --> 00:12:50,634
but you're not gonna be able
to cheer me up.
284
00:12:51,009 --> 00:12:52,595
Well, how about
this, then?
285
00:12:52,752 --> 00:12:54,323
You quit your whining
before I give you
286
00:12:54,381 --> 00:12:56,810
something to cry
about, young man.
287
00:12:57,670 --> 00:12:58,826
What?
288
00:12:58,975 --> 00:13:02,225
Those are comforting words
my father would often say.
289
00:13:03,057 --> 00:13:04,537
Did it help?
290
00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:06,173
I turned out great.
291
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:07,834
You tell me.
292
00:13:09,279 --> 00:13:10,678
Let's get going.
293
00:13:11,029 --> 00:13:12,935
Are you gonna be this
mopey all the way home?
294
00:13:13,135 --> 00:13:14,725
I don't know, maybe.
295
00:13:14,896 --> 00:13:16,342
There any chance
you'd be cheered up
296
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,904
by an amazing
trigonometry riddle?
297
00:13:20,693 --> 00:13:21,971
Well, if you can't
answer that,
298
00:13:22,029 --> 00:13:24,225
there's no way you're
gonna get this riddle.
299
00:13:31,107 --> 00:13:33,756
Oh, hey, hey,
what do you think?
300
00:13:34,451 --> 00:13:36,238
Just because it's a boy,
I don't think you need to
301
00:13:36,295 --> 00:13:38,842
put a picture of
genitals on his shirt.
302
00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:42,381
But that's a baseball bat
with two little baseballs.
303
00:13:42,490 --> 00:13:44,975
Okay, and now I see it.
304
00:13:47,037 --> 00:13:49,323
So, you know,
I understand why
305
00:13:49,381 --> 00:13:51,310
Howard is nervous
about having a son,
306
00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:53,220
but... are you really
upset about it?
307
00:13:53,467 --> 00:13:54,970
No, I'm fine.
308
00:13:55,099 --> 00:13:56,757
It's just, I grew up
with a bunch of brothers,
309
00:13:56,814 --> 00:13:59,416
so I thought it'd be nice
for Halley to have a sister.
310
00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:00,709
Is that wrong?
311
00:14:00,834 --> 00:14:02,412
Of course it's wrong.
312
00:14:02,486 --> 00:14:04,560
You don't know what this
little boy's gonna be like.
313
00:14:04,662 --> 00:14:06,502
Maybe he'll be rough and tumble,
314
00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:08,802
or maybe he'll be sweet
and sensitive,
315
00:14:08,869 --> 00:14:12,406
or maybe he'll be
all those things, like me.
316
00:14:14,674 --> 00:14:16,641
You're rough
and tumble?
317
00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:20,584
You bet I am, bitch.
318
00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:26,178
But I'm also sensitive
and regret saying that.
319
00:14:28,733 --> 00:14:29,756
♪♪
320
00:14:29,842 --> 00:14:30,998
(knock on door)
321
00:14:31,927 --> 00:14:33,607
- Hey.
- Hello.
322
00:14:34,021 --> 00:14:35,545
You got a sec?
323
00:14:36,051 --> 00:14:37,506
Sure. What's up?
324
00:14:37,786 --> 00:14:39,173
Penny's been talking
to my mother
325
00:14:39,231 --> 00:14:42,428
like they're best friends, and
it's kind of freaking me out.
326
00:14:42,732 --> 00:14:44,342
Okay...
327
00:14:44,928 --> 00:14:48,568
I'm pretty sure
they're not best friends.
328
00:14:51,639 --> 00:14:54,732
'Cause you can only have
one best friend.
329
00:14:56,018 --> 00:14:59,451
And Penny has that,
and (clicks tongue) it's me.
330
00:15:01,193 --> 00:15:03,466
Oh, really? Is she FaceTiming
with you right now?
331
00:15:03,524 --> 00:15:05,347
Because she's FaceTiming
with my mom, and believe me,
332
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,975
that is not a face
you want to spend time with.
333
00:15:09,615 --> 00:15:12,501
Hmm. Well, I have been
pretty busy lately.
334
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:14,578
Maybe I've been
neglecting our friendship.
335
00:15:14,636 --> 00:15:16,611
Penny knows I have
a complicated relationship
336
00:15:16,669 --> 00:15:18,357
with my mother;
it's like she doesn't even care.
337
00:15:18,414 --> 00:15:19,729
And with everything
going on at the lab
338
00:15:19,786 --> 00:15:20,792
and planning the wedding,
339
00:15:20,850 --> 00:15:23,271
I just, I have
so little free time.
340
00:15:23,708 --> 00:15:26,376
Penny doesn't know how
manipulative my mother can be.
341
00:15:26,434 --> 00:15:27,845
Did you know
there's such a thing as
342
00:15:27,903 --> 00:15:29,458
reverse, reverse,
reverse psychology?
343
00:15:29,516 --> 00:15:32,497
Because... there is.
344
00:15:32,864 --> 00:15:34,504
I mean, she must feel
so abandoned.
345
00:15:34,562 --> 00:15:36,215
She's used to me
being there all the time,
346
00:15:36,273 --> 00:15:37,789
but... now I have my own life,
347
00:15:37,847 --> 00:15:39,303
and she's just gonna
have to accept it.
348
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:42,255
And why is my mom
proud of Penny and not me?
349
00:15:42,334 --> 00:15:44,498
I mean, the real question is:
why is Penny so afraid of me
350
00:15:44,555 --> 00:15:45,560
growing as a person?
351
00:15:45,618 --> 00:15:49,020
- I'm good at stuff, too!
- I deserve my own life!
352
00:15:51,763 --> 00:15:52,971
Okay, well, thanks.
353
00:15:53,029 --> 00:15:54,411
Good talk.
354
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:02,372
You know,
studies have shown
355
00:16:02,430 --> 00:16:05,586
that people distracted
by emotional issues
356
00:16:05,653 --> 00:16:07,489
are poor drivers.
357
00:16:08,082 --> 00:16:12,374
What about people distracted
by irritating passengers?
358
00:16:13,296 --> 00:16:14,795
That would be hard to test,
359
00:16:14,862 --> 00:16:17,965
because irritating is
a subjective quality.
360
00:16:18,419 --> 00:16:20,520
Strongly disagree.
361
00:16:25,926 --> 00:16:27,225
Can I drive?
362
00:16:27,669 --> 00:16:28,814
No. (chuckles)
363
00:16:28,872 --> 00:16:29,931
You can't drive.
364
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,520
You don't even have a license.
365
00:16:31,582 --> 00:16:32,981
Actually, I do.
366
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:36,218
Really? Since when?
367
00:16:36,285 --> 00:16:37,575
Three years ago.
368
00:16:37,642 --> 00:16:40,364
I went on a bit
of a license kick.
369
00:16:40,606 --> 00:16:43,290
I'm also
a commercial fisherman.
370
00:16:44,193 --> 00:16:46,795
Then why don't you ever
drive yourself?
371
00:16:46,981 --> 00:16:48,895
Honestly, I barely
passed my test.
372
00:16:48,958 --> 00:16:50,544
And the one time
I drove on my own,
373
00:16:50,602 --> 00:16:54,935
I made a U-turn, got dizzy,
threw up and walked home.
374
00:16:56,766 --> 00:16:58,497
You really want to drive?
375
00:16:58,817 --> 00:17:00,409
It seems like
the perfect time.
376
00:17:00,485 --> 00:17:03,130
The roads are straight,
there's no one around,
377
00:17:03,198 --> 00:17:05,981
and you don't seem to care
if you live or die.
378
00:17:07,552 --> 00:17:09,952
Live, Sheldon.
I want to live.
379
00:17:10,403 --> 00:17:11,850
That makes things
a little trickier,
380
00:17:11,908 --> 00:17:13,476
but I'll do my best.
381
00:17:14,371 --> 00:17:15,530
♪♪
382
00:17:15,658 --> 00:17:17,223
(line ringing)
383
00:17:17,281 --> 00:17:18,484
BEVERLY:
Hi, Pen...
384
00:17:18,542 --> 00:17:21,244
Oh, hello, Leonard.
385
00:17:22,832 --> 00:17:24,164
Hello, Mother. How are you?
386
00:17:24,231 --> 00:17:26,235
- Fine. And you?
- I'm great.
387
00:17:26,293 --> 00:17:27,785
Well, it's been lovely
catching up.
388
00:17:28,442 --> 00:17:31,215
Wait. Hang on.
We need to talk.
389
00:17:31,354 --> 00:17:32,660
Oh, brother.
390
00:17:34,434 --> 00:17:37,546
I want to know,
why aren't you proud of me?
391
00:17:38,567 --> 00:17:39,907
Well, isn't the real question,
392
00:17:39,965 --> 00:17:42,020
“Why aren't you proud
of yourself?”
393
00:17:42,191 --> 00:17:47,434
No, that is a question...
And I ask it a lot...
394
00:17:47,598 --> 00:17:49,857
But let's stick
with the one I asked you.
395
00:17:50,559 --> 00:17:52,626
But why do you think
I'm not proud of you?
396
00:17:52,925 --> 00:17:54,918
Because you never say it.
397
00:17:55,231 --> 00:17:56,918
But two days into
chatting with Penny,
398
00:17:56,996 --> 00:17:58,895
and you can't stop
telling her how great she is.
399
00:17:58,953 --> 00:18:00,637
She is great.
400
00:18:00,778 --> 00:18:03,403
Honestly, of all
of my children's spouses,
401
00:18:03,528 --> 00:18:05,939
she's the one
that I'm most impressed by.
402
00:18:07,059 --> 00:18:08,152
Seriously?
403
00:18:08,242 --> 00:18:09,293
Yes.
404
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:11,380
She's confident,
she's thoughtful,
405
00:18:11,447 --> 00:18:13,551
and she never complained
about you once.
406
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:16,793
I know what kind of strength
that takes.
407
00:18:18,292 --> 00:18:20,668
So, Penny's your favorite?
408
00:18:20,965 --> 00:18:22,574
I suppose she is.
409
00:18:22,926 --> 00:18:27,294
You married well, Leonard,
and for that I am proud of you.
410
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,387
I don't... I don't...
I don't know what to say.
411
00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:36,432
I'm also proud of how hard
you're trying not to cry.
412
00:18:38,340 --> 00:18:39,608
(choked up):
Thank you.
413
00:18:39,793 --> 00:18:41,475
Would you like to hang up now?
414
00:18:41,542 --> 00:18:43,177
Yeah, here it comes.
415
00:18:44,106 --> 00:18:45,426
♪♪
416
00:18:51,035 --> 00:18:52,567
Your hands are at
10:00 and 2:00.
417
00:18:52,686 --> 00:18:55,598
Good.
Steady on the gas.
418
00:18:56,238 --> 00:18:57,433
Okay.
419
00:18:57,528 --> 00:19:01,099
Now you're gonna want
to slowly switch lanes.
420
00:19:01,157 --> 00:19:02,212
Why?
421
00:19:02,270 --> 00:19:03,897
Because there are only two,
422
00:19:03,964 --> 00:19:06,699
and you're not
in either of them.
423
00:19:10,699 --> 00:19:12,639
Attaboy. Well done!
424
00:19:12,706 --> 00:19:13,876
Thank you.
425
00:19:13,943 --> 00:19:16,443
The last time I drove,
I was terrified,
426
00:19:16,508 --> 00:19:18,043
but this is fun.
427
00:19:18,590 --> 00:19:19,913
You're doing great.
428
00:19:19,980 --> 00:19:22,082
You're a good teacher.
429
00:19:24,620 --> 00:19:27,942
Your son is going to be lucky
to have you as a father.
430
00:19:29,649 --> 00:19:31,231
Thanks.
431
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:36,535
Do you think I could try
going a little faster?
432
00:19:37,449 --> 00:19:38,606
Go for it, champ.
433
00:19:38,707 --> 00:19:40,403
Ow.
434
00:19:41,153 --> 00:19:42,305
Sorry.
435
00:19:42,363 --> 00:19:43,934
Just ease on the gas, and...
436
00:19:44,074 --> 00:19:45,973
(engine revving)
Oh, too much! Too much!
437
00:19:46,113 --> 00:19:48,575
Why was I scared of this?
This is exhilarating!
438
00:19:48,676 --> 00:19:49,878
No, it's not! Slow down!
439
00:19:49,953 --> 00:19:52,363
Don't tell me what to do!
You're not my father!
440
00:20:05,824 --> 00:20:07,340
Do you know how fast
you were going?
441
00:20:07,474 --> 00:20:09,843
112.
442
00:20:11,577 --> 00:20:13,510
Let me see your license.
443
00:20:15,009 --> 00:20:17,476
- Okay, here's the plan.
- No.
444
00:20:18,934 --> 00:20:20,332
Fine.
445
00:20:20,854 --> 00:20:22,223
There you go.
446
00:20:24,336 --> 00:20:27,145
You know what,
you can just keep it.
447
00:20:32,444 --> 00:20:36,231
♪♪
448
00:20:36,288 --> 00:20:39,942
♪♪
449
00:20:47,005 --> 00:20:50,412
♪♪