1
00:00:00,892 --> 00:00:03,053
Watch this, it's really cool.
2
00:00:03,558 --> 00:00:05,037
Call Leonard Hoffstadder.
3
00:00:05,871 --> 00:00:08,736
Did you say:
"Call Hellen Boxlightner?
4
00:00:12,690 --> 00:00:15,073
Call Leonard Hoffstadder.
5
00:00:15,795 --> 00:00:18,762
Did you say:
"Call Temple Badsaidor?"
6
00:00:21,207 --> 00:00:22,461
Let me try!
7
00:00:23,715 --> 00:00:24,756
Call...
8
00:00:28,441 --> 00:00:30,501
Calling "Rajesh Koothrappali."
9
00:00:37,427 --> 00:00:39,048
That's very impressive.
10
00:00:40,101 --> 00:00:41,510
And a little racist.
11
00:00:42,787 --> 00:00:45,237
If we're all through playing
"mock the flawed technology,"
12
00:00:45,411 --> 00:00:46,784
can we get on with Halo night?
13
00:00:46,900 --> 00:00:49,161
We were supposed to start at
8:00. It is now 8:06.
14
00:00:49,370 --> 00:00:51,029
So we'll start now.
15
00:00:51,183 --> 00:00:53,644
First we have to decide
if those lost six minutes will be coming
16
00:00:53,764 --> 00:00:56,096
out of game time, bathroom time
or the pizza break.
17
00:00:56,268 --> 00:00:57,941
We could split it
two, two and two.
18
00:00:58,230 --> 00:01:01,510
If we're having anchovies on the pizza,
we can't take it out of bathroom time.
19
00:01:02,319 --> 00:01:04,169
Oh, what fresh hell is this?
20
00:01:05,467 --> 00:01:07,674
- Hey, Penny. Come on in.
- Hey, guys.
21
00:01:07,870 --> 00:01:09,143
See a Penny, pick her up,
22
00:01:09,367 --> 00:01:11,634
and all the day
you'll have good luck.
23
00:01:14,593 --> 00:01:15,693
No, you won't.
24
00:01:16,513 --> 00:01:18,018
Can I hide out here for a while?
25
00:01:18,191 --> 00:01:19,540
Sure. What's going on?
26
00:01:19,792 --> 00:01:22,330
There's this girl I know
from back in Nebraska, Christy.
27
00:01:22,484 --> 00:01:24,886
She called me up,
and she's like, "Hey, how's California?"
28
00:01:25,011 --> 00:01:27,288
And I'm like, "Awesome,"
'cause, you know, it's not Nebraska.
29
00:01:27,481 --> 00:01:28,728
And the next thing I know
30
00:01:28,939 --> 00:01:30,991
she's invited herself
out here to stay with me.
31
00:01:31,151 --> 00:01:32,326
8:08.
32
00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:37,336
Anyway, she got here today
and she's just been in my apartment
33
00:01:37,456 --> 00:01:39,656
yakity yakking about every guy
she slept with in Omaha,
34
00:01:39,791 --> 00:01:41,439
which is basically
every guy in Omaha,
35
00:01:41,559 --> 00:01:43,156
and washing the sluttiest
36
00:01:43,355 --> 00:01:46,100
collection of underwear
you have ever seen in my bathroom sink.
37
00:01:46,220 --> 00:01:48,975
Is she doing it one thong at a time,
or does she throw it all in...
38
00:01:49,711 --> 00:01:52,258
...like some sort
of erotic bouillabaisse?
39
00:01:54,234 --> 00:01:56,536
- He really needs to dial it down.
- I know.
40
00:01:58,339 --> 00:02:01,013
So if you don't like this Christy,
why are you letting her stay?
41
00:02:01,183 --> 00:02:02,639
She was engaged to my cousin
42
00:02:02,782 --> 00:02:05,544
while she was sleeping with my brother,
so she's kind of family.
43
00:02:07,505 --> 00:02:09,318
I apologize for my
earlier outburst.
44
00:02:09,535 --> 00:02:11,235
Who needs Halo,
when we can be regaled
45
00:02:11,390 --> 00:02:14,033
with the delightfully folksy
tale of the Whore of Omaha?
46
00:02:16,250 --> 00:02:17,620
I don't think she's a whore.
47
00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:19,689
No, yeah, she's definitely a whore.
48
00:02:19,828 --> 00:02:22,201
I mean, she has
absolutely no standards.
49
00:02:22,397 --> 00:02:24,171
This one time she was at...
50
00:02:24,923 --> 00:02:25,923
Where's Howard?
51
00:02:26,123 --> 00:02:28,959
Bonjour, mademoiselle.
I understand you're new in town.
52
00:02:30,791 --> 00:02:31,928
Oh, good grief.
53
00:02:55,183 --> 00:02:57,768
Subtitles: swsub.com
54
00:03:01,943 --> 00:03:05,281
I cannot believe Christy
let Howard into my apartment.
55
00:03:06,634 --> 00:03:08,577
And I cannot believe people
pay for horoscopes,
56
00:03:08,697 --> 00:03:10,004
but on a more serious note,
57
00:03:10,154 --> 00:03:12,006
it's 8:13 and we're
still not playing Halo.
58
00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:16,306
Fine. We'll just play one-on-one
until he gets back.
59
00:03:16,507 --> 00:03:20,501
One-on-one? We don't play one-on-one.
We play teams, not one-on-one.
60
00:03:20,708 --> 00:03:21,807
One-on-one.
61
00:03:22,849 --> 00:03:26,834
The only way we can play teams
at this point is if we cut Raj in half.
62
00:03:27,178 --> 00:03:28,753
Sure, cut the foreigner in half.
63
00:03:28,907 --> 00:03:31,297
There's a billion more
where he came from.
64
00:03:31,949 --> 00:03:33,550
If you guys need a fourth, I'll play.
65
00:03:33,756 --> 00:03:35,528
- Great idea.
- No.
66
00:03:37,268 --> 00:03:39,118
The wheel was a great idea,
67
00:03:40,359 --> 00:03:41,768
relativity was a great idea.
68
00:03:41,903 --> 00:03:44,332
This is a notion,
and a rather sucky one at that.
69
00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:46,331
Why?
70
00:03:46,451 --> 00:03:47,298
Why?
71
00:03:47,510 --> 00:03:48,815
Oh, Penny, Penny, Penny.
72
00:03:49,066 --> 00:03:50,339
What, what, what?
73
00:03:51,241 --> 00:03:54,179
This is a complex battle simulation
with a steep learning curve.
74
00:03:54,507 --> 00:03:56,707
There are myriad weapons,
vehicles and strategies
75
00:03:56,842 --> 00:03:59,716
to master, not to mention
an extremely intricate backstory.
76
00:04:00,867 --> 00:04:03,417
Oh cool.
Whose head did I just blow off?
77
00:04:04,414 --> 00:04:05,414
Mine.
78
00:04:06,662 --> 00:04:09,130
Okay, I got this.
Lock and load, boys.
79
00:04:10,537 --> 00:04:12,296
It's the only way we can play teams.
80
00:04:12,514 --> 00:04:14,536
Yes, but whoever's her
partner will be hamstrung
81
00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:16,909
by her lack of experience,
and not to mention the fact...
82
00:04:17,179 --> 00:04:18,993
There goes your head again.
83
00:04:20,572 --> 00:04:23,569
It's not good sportsmanship
to shoot somebody who's just re-spawned.
84
00:04:23,689 --> 00:04:25,904
You need to to give them a chance to...
Now, come on!
85
00:04:26,654 --> 00:04:28,645
Raj, Raj!
She's got me cornered. Cover me!
86
00:04:28,913 --> 00:04:30,390
Cover this, suckers!
87
00:04:32,476 --> 00:04:35,673
- Penny, you are on fire!
- Yes, and so is Sheldon.
88
00:04:37,648 --> 00:04:40,437
Okay, that's it.
I don't know how, but she is cheating.
89
00:04:40,557 --> 00:04:43,931
No one can be that attractive
and this skilled at a video game.
90
00:04:44,347 --> 00:04:46,487
Wait, Sheldon, come back.
You forgot something.
91
00:04:46,857 --> 00:04:47,860
What?
92
00:04:48,168 --> 00:04:49,618
This plasma grenade.
93
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,173
Look, it's raining you.
94
00:04:55,956 --> 00:04:58,946
You laugh now-- you just wait
until you need tech support.
95
00:05:00,938 --> 00:05:03,226
Gosh, he's kind of
a sore loser, isn't he?
96
00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:05,989
To be fair, he's also
a rather unpleasant winner.
97
00:05:07,150 --> 00:05:08,705
Well, it's been fun.
98
00:05:09,352 --> 00:05:10,755
We make such a good team.
99
00:05:10,923 --> 00:05:13,644
Maybe we could enter a couple
of Halo tournaments sometime.
100
00:05:14,355 --> 00:05:16,305
Or we could just have a life.
101
00:05:17,908 --> 00:05:20,058
I guess for you that's an option.
102
00:05:20,765 --> 00:05:22,155
- Good night.
- Good night.
103
00:05:22,298 --> 00:05:23,860
As usual, nice talking to you, Raj.
104
00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:27,788
What do you suppose
she meant by that?
105
00:05:29,003 --> 00:05:30,415
She's an enigma, Raj.
106
00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:34,023
And another thing-- there's
a certain ethic to the game, Penny,
107
00:05:34,143 --> 00:05:36,037
- a well- established...
- She's gone.
108
00:05:37,262 --> 00:05:38,882
She could have said good-bye.
109
00:05:40,198 --> 00:05:42,161
Okay, I have a problem.
110
00:05:42,606 --> 00:05:45,597
It's called carpal tunnel syndrome,
and quite frankly you deserve it.
111
00:05:47,612 --> 00:05:48,750
What's wrong?
112
00:05:49,387 --> 00:05:50,757
Howard and Christy are...
113
00:05:51,009 --> 00:05:53,362
kind of hooking up
in my bedroom.
114
00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:56,503
Are you sure?
115
00:05:56,675 --> 00:05:58,046
I grew up on a farm, okay?
116
00:05:58,166 --> 00:05:59,977
From what I heard,
they're either having sex
117
00:06:00,112 --> 00:06:01,947
or Howard's caught
in a milking machine.
118
00:06:04,868 --> 00:06:06,451
Do you mind if I stay here tonight?
119
00:06:06,782 --> 00:06:09,050
No, take the couch, or my bed.
120
00:06:09,235 --> 00:06:11,687
I just got new pillows.
Hypo-allergenic.
121
00:06:12,878 --> 00:06:14,074
The couch is good.
122
00:06:14,337 --> 00:06:16,440
Hold that thought.
Leonard, a moment.
123
00:06:20,703 --> 00:06:22,536
Let me guess.
You have a problem with this.
124
00:06:22,690 --> 00:06:25,220
- Where do I begin?
- It's up to you. Crazy person's choice.
125
00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:29,050
First, we don't have houseguests.
126
00:06:29,250 --> 00:06:32,008
Frankly, if I could afford
the rent, I'd ask you to leave.
127
00:06:33,013 --> 00:06:35,628
Your friendship means
a lot to me as well. What else?
128
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:37,129
Well...
129
00:06:37,455 --> 00:06:40,193
our earthquake supplies.
We have a two-man, two-day kit.
130
00:06:40,383 --> 00:06:41,268
So?
131
00:06:41,406 --> 00:06:44,606
So if there's an earthquake
and the three of us are trapped here,
132
00:06:44,818 --> 00:06:47,439
we could be out of food
by tomorrow afternoon.
133
00:06:48,436 --> 00:06:50,645
I'm sorry, are you suggesting
that if we let Penny stay
134
00:06:50,780 --> 00:06:52,622
we might succumb to cannibalism?
135
00:06:53,007 --> 00:06:55,592
No one ever thinks it'll
happen until it does.
136
00:06:57,563 --> 00:06:59,870
If you promise not to
chew the flesh off our bones
137
00:07:00,025 --> 00:07:01,838
while we sleep, you can stay.
138
00:07:03,281 --> 00:07:06,281
- What?
- He's engaging in reductio ad absurdum.
139
00:07:07,966 --> 00:07:10,112
It's the logical fallacy
of extending someone's argument
140
00:07:10,232 --> 00:07:12,474
to ridiculous proportions
and then criticizing the result.
141
00:07:12,628 --> 00:07:14,332
And I do not appreciate it.
142
00:07:15,790 --> 00:07:17,854
I'll get you a blanket and a pillow.
143
00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:20,942
Okay, since I'm obviously
being ignored here,
144
00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:23,243
let's go over the morning schedule.
145
00:07:23,398 --> 00:07:25,363
I use the bathroom
from 7:00 to 7:20.
146
00:07:25,702 --> 00:07:27,959
Plan your ablutions and bodily
functions accordingly.
147
00:07:29,797 --> 00:07:31,787
How am I supposed to plan
my bodily functions?
148
00:07:32,054 --> 00:07:34,206
I suggest no liquids after 11:00 p.m.
149
00:07:35,418 --> 00:07:37,518
- Here you go.
- Thanks, Leonard.
150
00:07:39,470 --> 00:07:40,470
Wrong.
151
00:07:44,029 --> 00:07:45,051
I'm listening.
152
00:07:45,356 --> 00:07:47,010
Your head goes on the other end.
153
00:07:47,518 --> 00:07:50,092
- Why?
- It's culturally universal. A bed,
154
00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:51,472
even a temporary bed,
155
00:07:51,626 --> 00:07:54,213
is always oriented with the headboard
away from the door.
156
00:07:54,444 --> 00:07:58,588
It serves the ancient imperative
of protecting oneself against marauders.
157
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:03,253
I'll risk it.
158
00:08:04,308 --> 00:08:05,685
Anything else should I know?
159
00:08:05,871 --> 00:08:07,583
Yes, if you use my toothbrush,
160
00:08:07,794 --> 00:08:09,357
I'll jump out that window.
161
00:08:11,254 --> 00:08:13,820
Please don't come to my funeral.
Have a good night.
162
00:08:16,619 --> 00:08:17,685
Sorry about that.
163
00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:19,566
- That's okay.
- FYI--
164
00:08:19,782 --> 00:08:23,206
his toothbrush is the red one in
the Plexiglas case under the UV light.
165
00:08:23,886 --> 00:08:24,886
Got it.
166
00:08:26,175 --> 00:08:27,777
- Sleep tight.
- Thanks
167
00:08:31,591 --> 00:08:33,655
Funny expression,
"sleep tight."
168
00:08:36,246 --> 00:08:38,332
It refers to the early
construction of beds
169
00:08:38,506 --> 00:08:40,836
which featured a mattress
suspended on interlocking ropes,
170
00:08:40,971 --> 00:08:42,572
which would occasionally...
171
00:08:42,901 --> 00:08:43,901
Sleep tight.
172
00:09:59,688 --> 00:10:00,865
What are you doing?
173
00:10:04,416 --> 00:10:06,382
Every Saturday
since we've lived in this apartment
174
00:10:06,576 --> 00:10:08,917
I have awakened at 6:15,
poured myself a bowl of cereal,
175
00:10:09,091 --> 00:10:10,807
added a quarter cup
of two percent milk,
176
00:10:11,016 --> 00:10:13,722
sat on this end of this couch,
turned on BBC America,
177
00:10:13,934 --> 00:10:15,458
and watched Doctor Who.
178
00:10:16,556 --> 00:10:18,023
Penny's still sleeping.
179
00:10:19,212 --> 00:10:21,295
Every Saturday
since we've lived in this apartment
180
00:10:21,449 --> 00:10:23,620
I have awakened at 6:15,
poured myself a bowl
181
00:10:23,749 --> 00:10:26,158
I know.
You have a TV in your room.
182
00:10:26,284 --> 00:10:28,259
Why don't you just have
breakfast in bed?
183
00:10:28,447 --> 00:10:31,925
Because I am neither an invalid,
nor a woman celebrating Mother's Day.
184
00:10:34,182 --> 00:10:35,285
What time is it?
185
00:10:35,825 --> 00:10:36,963
Almost 6:30.
186
00:10:37,254 --> 00:10:38,605
I slept all day?
187
00:10:39,903 --> 00:10:41,697
No, it's 6:30 in the morning.
188
00:10:42,651 --> 00:10:44,513
What the hell is your problem?
189
00:10:45,850 --> 00:10:48,539
Okay, this cereal has lost
all its molecular integrity.
190
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,554
I now have a bowl
of shredded wheat paste.
191
00:10:52,662 --> 00:10:54,030
Hola, nerd-migos.
192
00:10:57,841 --> 00:10:59,789
Why do you people hate sleep?
193
00:11:00,935 --> 00:11:02,455
Are you wearing my robe?
194
00:11:04,646 --> 00:11:06,247
Yeah.
Sorry, I'll have it cleaned.
195
00:11:06,383 --> 00:11:07,930
That's okay, keep it.
196
00:11:09,590 --> 00:11:11,737
- Where's Christy?
- In the shower.
197
00:11:12,147 --> 00:11:14,281
By the way, where did you
get that loofah mitt?
198
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:17,053
Yours reaches places
that mine just won't.
199
00:11:21,604 --> 00:11:23,054
You used my loofah?
200
00:11:23,759 --> 00:11:26,157
More precisely,
weused your loofah.
201
00:11:26,561 --> 00:11:28,489
I exfoliated her brains out.
202
00:11:31,189 --> 00:11:32,766
You can keep that, too.
203
00:11:33,633 --> 00:11:37,574
Then we'll probably need to talk
about your stuffed bear collection.
204
00:11:40,182 --> 00:11:41,338
In here, milady!
205
00:11:43,939 --> 00:11:45,999
Here's my little engine that could.
206
00:11:50,809 --> 00:11:53,506
There's one beloved
children's book I'll never read again.
207
00:11:54,309 --> 00:11:56,045
Hi. Christy.
208
00:11:57,327 --> 00:11:58,774
- I'm Sheldon.
- Right.
209
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,342
You're Howard's entourage.
210
00:12:03,162 --> 00:12:04,744
So, Christy, what are your plans?
211
00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:08,291
Howard said he'd take
me shopping in Beverly Hills.
212
00:12:08,647 --> 00:12:11,437
Yeah, no, I meant plans to find
someplace to live.
213
00:12:11,573 --> 00:12:13,661
Other than with me.
Not that I don't love having you,
214
00:12:13,796 --> 00:12:15,321
but it's...
It's a little crowded.
215
00:12:15,475 --> 00:12:17,441
Penny, you're always
welcome to stay with us.
216
00:12:17,561 --> 00:12:20,307
Oh, terrific.
Now we're running a cute little B & B.
217
00:12:21,719 --> 00:12:23,754
Let me offer a little
outside-the-box thinking here.
218
00:12:23,874 --> 00:12:25,455
Why doesn't Christy stay with me?
219
00:12:25,654 --> 00:12:27,776
- You live with your mother.
- I do not.
220
00:12:27,949 --> 00:12:29,454
My mother lives with me.
221
00:12:30,713 --> 00:12:32,951
Then it's all settled.
Christy will stay with Howard,
222
00:12:33,105 --> 00:12:34,674
Penny can go back to her apartment,
223
00:12:34,809 --> 00:12:36,872
and I'll watch the last 24 minutes
of Doctor Who.
224
00:12:37,103 --> 00:12:40,103
Although at this point,
it's more like Doctor Why Bother?
225
00:12:41,506 --> 00:12:44,811
- Sheldon, you just can't dictate...
- No more talking! Everybody go!
226
00:12:46,014 --> 00:12:49,639
So what do you say?
Want to repair to Casa Wolowitz?
227
00:12:49,772 --> 00:12:52,087
What is that, like a Mexican deli?
228
00:12:52,550 --> 00:12:54,528
I'm sorry,
I should have mentioned this earlier.
229
00:12:54,701 --> 00:12:56,264
My last name is Wolowitz.
230
00:12:58,074 --> 00:12:59,212
That's so cool.
231
00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:00,746
My first Jew.
232
00:13:04,815 --> 00:13:08,093
I imagine there aren't very many
Kosher Cornhuskers.
233
00:13:10,515 --> 00:13:12,193
But you're still taking me shopping?
234
00:13:12,339 --> 00:13:13,380
Anything you want.
235
00:13:13,521 --> 00:13:15,480
Okay, I'll go pack my stuff.
236
00:13:18,387 --> 00:13:21,847
When they perfect human cloning,
I'm going to order 12 of those.
237
00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:25,859
Can't you see she's using you?
238
00:13:26,033 --> 00:13:29,144
Who cares? Last night,
she pulled off her blouse and I wept.
239
00:13:29,862 --> 00:13:32,394
I know her. Okay?
She'll have sex with anyone,
240
00:13:32,549 --> 00:13:34,566
as long as
they keep buying her things.
241
00:13:35,103 --> 00:13:36,581
- Really?
- Yeah.
242
00:13:40,713 --> 00:13:44,825
If you'll excuse me,
I have some Bar Mitzvah bonds to cash.
243
00:13:53,112 --> 00:13:55,962
I'm sorry, we cannot do this
without Wolowitz.
244
00:13:56,554 --> 00:13:59,120
We can't order Chinese
food without Wolowitz?
245
00:13:59,525 --> 00:14:02,126
Let me walk you through it.
Our standard order is:
246
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:04,709
the steamed dumpling appetizer,
General Tso's chicken,
247
00:14:04,864 --> 00:14:06,692
beef with broccoli,
shrimp with lobster sauce
248
00:14:06,866 --> 00:14:08,304
and vegetable lo mein.
249
00:14:08,547 --> 00:14:10,105
Do you see the problem?
250
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,326
I see a problem.
251
00:14:14,108 --> 00:14:17,505
Our entire order is predicated
on four dumplings and four entrees
252
00:14:17,756 --> 00:14:19,242
divided amongst
four people.
253
00:14:22,425 --> 00:14:24,898
- So, we'll just order three entrees.
- Fine.
254
00:14:25,090 --> 00:14:27,577
What do you want to eliminate?
And who gets the extra dumpling?
255
00:14:27,848 --> 00:14:29,218
We could cut it into thirds.
256
00:14:29,363 --> 00:14:31,694
Then it's no longer a dumpling.
Once you cut it open it is,
257
00:14:31,848 --> 00:14:33,625
at best, a very small open-faced
sandwich.
258
00:14:35,495 --> 00:14:36,614
Hi, fellas.
259
00:14:37,088 --> 00:14:40,618
Where's your annoying little friend
who thinks he speaks Mandarin?
260
00:14:41,502 --> 00:14:43,815
He's putting his needs ahead of
the collective good.
261
00:14:44,010 --> 00:14:46,267
Where he comes from,
that's punishable by death.
262
00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:48,892
I come from Sacramento.
263
00:14:53,468 --> 00:14:56,079
Can we get an order of dumplings
but with three instead of four?
264
00:14:56,266 --> 00:14:57,266
No substitutions.
265
00:14:58,171 --> 00:15:00,390
This isn't a substitution.
It's a reduction.
266
00:15:00,728 --> 00:15:02,278
Okay.
No reductions.
267
00:15:03,831 --> 00:15:06,363
Fine. Bring us three orders
of dumplings.
268
00:15:06,483 --> 00:15:08,731
- That's 12. We'll each have four.
- That works.
269
00:15:08,953 --> 00:15:11,477
If we fill up on dumplings,
we need to eliminate another entree.
270
00:15:11,742 --> 00:15:12,859
No eliminations.
271
00:15:14,697 --> 00:15:16,817
If we have extra,
we'll just take the leftovers home.
272
00:15:16,937 --> 00:15:20,421
And divide it how? I'm telling you,
we cannot do this without Wolowitz.
273
00:15:20,583 --> 00:15:22,247
Wolowitz is with his new girlfriend.
274
00:15:22,411 --> 00:15:24,897
If you had let me invite Penny,
then you would have had your fourth.
275
00:15:25,042 --> 00:15:26,652
Have you seen Penny
eat Chinese food?
276
00:15:26,805 --> 00:15:29,129
She uses a fork and she
double-dips her egg rolls.
277
00:15:29,954 --> 00:15:31,604
- We don't order egg rolls.
- Exactly,
278
00:15:31,777 --> 00:15:33,247
but we'd have to if she was here!
279
00:15:33,462 --> 00:15:34,851
Can we please
make a decision?
280
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,873
Not only are there children
starving in India,
281
00:15:37,008 --> 00:15:38,648
there's an Indian starving right here.
282
00:15:40,959 --> 00:15:43,793
There's an idea. Why don't we
just go out for Indian food?
283
00:15:45,496 --> 00:15:46,671
You're nice boys.
284
00:15:46,907 --> 00:15:48,316
Tell you what I'm going to do.
285
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:50,390
I'm going to bring you
the four dumplings.
286
00:15:50,510 --> 00:15:53,315
When I'm walking over to the
table, maybe I get bumped,
287
00:15:53,507 --> 00:15:56,317
one of the dumplings fall to the floor.
No one has to know.
288
00:15:58,267 --> 00:15:59,267
I'll know.
289
00:16:05,397 --> 00:16:07,762
- How about soup?
- Yeah, we can always divide soup.
290
00:16:07,975 --> 00:16:09,451
What about the wontons?
291
00:16:16,306 --> 00:16:17,482
Hey, guys, what's up?
292
00:16:17,695 --> 00:16:18,930
It's Halo night.
293
00:16:23,646 --> 00:16:24,646
So?
294
00:16:25,748 --> 00:16:28,736
With Wolowitz spending all of his time
with your friend Christy...
295
00:16:28,916 --> 00:16:32,524
She's not my friend. Friends do not get
their friends' Care Bears all sweaty.
296
00:16:33,856 --> 00:16:37,432
Right. Anyway, uh, with Wolowitz
occupied elsewhere,
297
00:16:37,606 --> 00:16:39,439
we had something
we wanted to ask you.
298
00:16:41,222 --> 00:16:42,222
Yes.
299
00:16:46,441 --> 00:16:48,256
We would very much appreciate it
300
00:16:48,376 --> 00:16:50,726
if you would be the fourth
member of our Halo team.
301
00:16:51,785 --> 00:16:55,393
I don't think I need to tell
you what an honor this is.
302
00:16:57,790 --> 00:17:00,917
That's so sweet, but I'm going out
dancing with a girlfriend.
303
00:17:01,349 --> 00:17:03,499
You can't go out;
it's Halo night.
304
00:17:04,438 --> 00:17:07,739
- Well, for Penny, it's dancing night.
- You go dancing every Wednesday?
305
00:17:07,979 --> 00:17:10,043
- No.
- Then that's not "dancing night."
306
00:17:11,894 --> 00:17:13,604
Why don't I play
with you guys tomorrow?
307
00:17:13,771 --> 00:17:16,867
Tonight is Halo night.
It's like talking to a wall.
308
00:17:18,183 --> 00:17:20,729
All right, now, Sheldon,
you and I are about to have a problem.
309
00:17:23,759 --> 00:17:25,778
Sheldon, remember,
we role-played this.
310
00:17:25,950 --> 00:17:28,477
Yes, but you didn't portray her
as completely irrational.
311
00:17:29,275 --> 00:17:31,303
All right, fellas,
I gotta go.
312
00:17:31,445 --> 00:17:32,582
But good luck.
313
00:17:36,088 --> 00:17:39,560
Maybe we should've asked if we could go
dancing with her and her girlfriend.
314
00:17:39,804 --> 00:17:41,860
Assuming we could dance--
which we can't--
315
00:17:42,034 --> 00:17:44,166
there are three of us
and two of them.
316
00:17:44,321 --> 00:17:45,150
So?
317
00:17:45,305 --> 00:17:47,816
It's the Chinese restaurant
all over again.
318
00:17:48,666 --> 00:17:50,734
I assure you that
cutting a dumpling in thirds
319
00:17:50,908 --> 00:17:52,731
is child's play compared with three men
320
00:17:52,866 --> 00:17:55,191
each attempting to dance
with 67% of a woman.
321
00:17:57,379 --> 00:18:00,648
For God's sakes, Sheldon,
you're driving me crazy!
322
00:18:00,925 --> 00:18:03,250
Your anger is not with me, sir,
but with basic mathematics.
323
00:18:03,404 --> 00:18:05,024
I'm pretty sure my anger is with you.
324
00:18:05,178 --> 00:18:07,846
What's happening to us?
We're falling apart.
325
00:18:09,823 --> 00:18:12,070
- Who are you calling?
- The only man who can restore
326
00:18:12,224 --> 00:18:14,599
any semblance of
balance to our universe.
327
00:18:15,109 --> 00:18:16,684
Hi, this is Howard Wolowitz.
328
00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:18,391
And this is Christy Vanderbelt.
329
00:18:18,511 --> 00:18:21,739
We can't get to the phone
right now because we're having sex!
330
00:18:24,220 --> 00:18:26,448
You're not going to put that
on your message, are you?
331
00:18:26,609 --> 00:18:29,120
Nah, I'm just kidding.
I'll re-record it.
332
00:18:32,526 --> 00:18:35,502
Sheldon, think this through.
You're going to ask Howard to choose
333
00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:36,882
between sex and Halo.
334
00:18:37,113 --> 00:18:40,669
No, I'm going to ask him to choose
between sex and Halo Three.
335
00:18:41,235 --> 00:18:43,261
As far as I know, sex
has not been upgraded
336
00:18:43,415 --> 00:18:46,483
to include Hi-Def graphics
and enhanced weapon systems.
337
00:18:46,748 --> 00:18:50,382
You're right, all sex has is nudity,
orgasms and human contact.
338
00:18:51,015 --> 00:18:52,015
My point.
339
00:18:54,041 --> 00:18:57,031
You can take the damn plastic
off the couch once in a while!
340
00:18:57,172 --> 00:18:59,246
Why, so you and Howard
can hump on it?!
341
00:19:01,130 --> 00:19:03,383
Ladies, ladies,
I'm sure there's a middle ground.
342
00:19:03,592 --> 00:19:04,808
Shut up, Howard!
343
00:19:06,302 --> 00:19:09,238
You guys talk. I'm gonna take
my scooter out for a little spin.
344
00:19:09,431 --> 00:19:11,779
You happy? You drove
your own son out of the house.
345
00:19:11,972 --> 00:19:13,361
Why don't you stop...
346
00:19:13,515 --> 00:19:14,834
What are you doing here?
347
00:19:15,068 --> 00:19:16,438
It's Halo night.
348
00:19:17,092 --> 00:19:18,577
He's not a man, he's a putz!
349
00:19:18,756 --> 00:19:21,140
And don't you take that tone with me,
you gold digger!
350
00:19:21,260 --> 00:19:22,942
- What'd you call me?
- You heard me!
351
00:19:23,137 --> 00:19:26,120
And I'll tell you something else,
you're barking up the wrong tree.
352
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:29,316
'Cause as long as you're around,
Howard is out of the will!
353
00:19:29,547 --> 00:19:32,884
You know what?
I got better offers. I'm outta here.
354
00:19:33,049 --> 00:19:35,923
That's right.
Go back to Babylon, you whore!
355
00:19:39,989 --> 00:19:41,339
So, Halo night, huh?
356
00:19:43,994 --> 00:19:46,059
I thought she was the whore of Omaha.
357
00:19:52,195 --> 00:19:55,397
Sheldon, you got him in your sights!
Fire! He's charging his plasma rifle!
358
00:19:55,742 --> 00:19:57,298
I can't shoot now. I'm cloaking!
359
00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:59,577
- Raj! Kill Sheldon!
- I can't see him!
360
00:20:00,002 --> 00:20:02,078
That's why they call it
cloaking, dead man!
361
00:20:02,565 --> 00:20:04,915
- Start throwing grenades!
- I'm all out!
362
00:20:05,923 --> 00:20:08,029
Hey, guys.
My friends and I got tired of dancing,
363
00:20:08,203 --> 00:20:10,386
so we came over to
have sex with you.
364
00:20:10,829 --> 00:20:12,211
Raj, hop in the tank!
365
00:20:12,331 --> 00:20:14,988
- We said no tanks!
- There are no rules in hell!
366
00:20:16,016 --> 00:20:18,553
Son of a bitch. Med pack!
I need a med pack!
367
00:20:20,499 --> 00:20:21,499
Told ya.
368
00:20:22,539 --> 00:20:24,313
There's a sniper.
Use your rocket launcher!
369
00:20:24,544 --> 00:20:26,925
All I've got is a Needler
and I'm all out of ammo!
370
00:20:27,091 --> 00:20:28,904
And now you're out of life.
371
00:20:31,209 --> 00:20:32,347
Why'd you hit pause?
372
00:20:32,852 --> 00:20:35,035
I thought I heard... something.
373
00:20:35,393 --> 00:20:36,396
What?
374
00:20:36,646 --> 00:20:38,017
No, never mind.
Sorry. Go.