1
00:00:11,095 --> 00:00:13,678
This is fucking epic.
2
00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:18,388
I never thought I'd be in Myrtle Beach
with Kenny fucking Powers.
3
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,178
Oh.
4
00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:27,191
Oh, uh, hey, why don't you
help unpack the boxes?
5
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,068
I'm gonna go look for Kenny, okay?
6
00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:32,151
- Okay.
- Okay. Love you. Love you.
7
00:00:35,786 --> 00:00:37,618
Whoo!
8
00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:47,457
Kenny. I fucking made it.
9
00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:48,883
You shredded.
10
00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:51,883
Surf's motherfucking up, nigga.
11
00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:54,005
Let's take it down a notch, Stevie.
12
00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:55,921
There's lots of pussy at the beach.
13
00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:57,930
Yeah, dog, that's how I do.
14
00:00:58,100 --> 00:00:59,135
Excuse me.
15
00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:01,472
Yeah. I fucking made it, dude.
16
00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:03,932
Hey, will you hit me
with my towel real quick?
17
00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:08,270
- Oh, hello, sin
- Yep. I put Toby in that hole...
18
00:01:08,444 --> 00:01:09,809
...so no one would kidnap him.
19
00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:12,399
- That's smart.
- Parenting skills.
20
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:14,484
I don't know, uh,
if you've been working out...
21
00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:16,274
- ...your body's looking good.
- Yeah.
22
00:01:16,452 --> 00:01:19,035
It's these waves. It tightens
everything up in the core.
23
00:01:19,205 --> 00:01:20,912
- Oh, nice, man.
- Whoa!
24
00:01:21,082 --> 00:01:23,244
You see me fucking dominate
that Wave, Powers?
25
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,454
- Straight owning it, Shane.
- Unh! You know it.
26
00:01:25,628 --> 00:01:27,369
- Top Gun, I'm Tom Cruise, heh.
- I'm Tom, heh.
27
00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:29,378
- Who's this person?
- Who am I?
28
00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:31,380
The guy who's about to whip your ass...
29
00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:33,416
...for getting my truck shot
with a cannonball.
30
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:34,880
Oh, oh, oh!
31
00:01:36,722 --> 00:01:38,178
He boned you.
32
00:01:38,349 --> 00:01:39,589
I'm just fucking with you.
33
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:42,179
- This is Shane. My best friend.
- That's right. Yeah.
34
00:01:42,353 --> 00:01:44,139
- Best friends? Really?
- Yeah.
35
00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:46,554
It's really good meeting you. Oh.
36
00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:47,938
- Burned him twice.
- Twice.
37
00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:52,731
- He's at the beach.
- Whoo, whom, whoo!
38
00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:54,612
- He's in the ocean.
- Heh.
39
00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:02,278
I'm gonna need you two
to hit the ground running.
40
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:05,744
We're gonna have to unfortunately convert
the dojo into Toby's room.
41
00:02:05,918 --> 00:02:08,034
I'm gonna need you
to baby-proof this up...
42
00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:10,203
...stash the weapons,
make it kid-friendly.
43
00:02:10,381 --> 00:02:13,624
You two will use my computer
research lab as your sleeping chambers.
44
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:15,712
There is a bed for each of you.
45
00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:17,752
Separate beds. Got It.
46
00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:20,763
So my bedroom is at the end of the hall.
Strictly off-limits.
47
00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:22,890
In fact, I need you to go get a deadbolt.
48
00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:24,767
I'm gonna lock that up. Are we clear?
49
00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:27,850
Yes, crystal clean Um, and now, uh--
50
00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:33,310
What the fuck are you
two whispering about?
51
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:36,070
In order to avoid
some of the behavioral issues...
52
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:37,947
...that have occurred in the past...
53
00:02:38,117 --> 00:02:42,862
...uh, Maria thought it would be a good
idea if I lay down some ground rules.
54
00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:44,540
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
55
00:02:44,707 --> 00:02:46,789
No, I'm" I'm not kidding. Uh...
56
00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:48,415
"Rules for new relationship...
57
00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:50,372
- ...with Kenny Powers.
- Heh.
58
00:02:50,546 --> 00:02:56,132
It is important for us to share
a mutual respect for one another.
59
00:02:56,302 --> 00:03:01,422
It's not healthy for me to put you
on a pedestal, or put you above me...
60
00:03:01,599 --> 00:03:08,221
...or think about how a world without you
wouldn't even be a world worth living in."
61
00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:11,901
- What, are you about to cry?
- No. No, no, no.
62
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,102
- Okay.
- Huh!
63
00:03:13,277 --> 00:03:17,737
"I will also no longer“ I will also
no longer be able to loan you...
64
00:03:17,907 --> 00:03:19,443
...large sums of money."
65
00:03:19,617 --> 00:03:21,324
Whoa, whoa, what about
in case of emergency?
66
00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:22,654
No. No, no, no.
67
00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:24,535
Well, in the case of an emergency?
68
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,742
Like, what if I was at a store
and I found...
69
00:03:26,916 --> 00:03:29,248
- ...a shirt I was gonna wear?
- That might qualify.
70
00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:31,409
You'd probably look
good as hell in that.
71
00:03:32,046 --> 00:03:33,457
Maria.
72
00:03:33,631 --> 00:03:37,215
And finally, "We must, by law...
73
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:40,718
...have the most coolest...
74
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:45,428
...and amazing shit-awesome time
in Myrtle fucking Beach.
75
00:03:45,601 --> 00:03:51,563
And party like the fuck, heh.
Sincerely, Stevie Janowski."
76
00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:53,056
Mm.
77
00:03:53,234 --> 00:03:57,478
All right. Well, there are a shit ton
of fun things to do in Myrtle Beach...
78
00:03:57,655 --> 00:04:00,613
...that's for sure.
Let's not forget about Toby, okay?
79
00:04:00,783 --> 00:04:02,444
I mean, you guys are parents now.
80
00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:05,451
And with parenthood
comes certain sacrifices.
81
00:04:05,621 --> 00:04:08,409
A white baby needs care basically 24/7.
82
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,198
- Got it.
- Urn...
83
00:04:10,376 --> 00:04:12,617
He a very handsome baby.
84
00:04:12,795 --> 00:04:14,581
Yeah, he is a handsome baby.
85
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,496
Look Who's
stringing together sentences, huh?
86
00:04:16,674 --> 00:04:18,335
Miss Rules over here, heh.
87
00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:21,046
I got a pretty fucking dope life
here in Myrtle Beach.
88
00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:25,509
I'm not gonna let some handsome,
hot-as-fuck, little child ruin it.
89
00:04:25,683 --> 00:04:29,472
You got that, Toby? Look how
cute he is. I fucking hate him.
90
00:04:29,645 --> 00:04:32,728
The Feeling of Winning Big Time, Dude.
91
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:34,855
Once upon a time, I believed in destiny
92
00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:36,436
But now I say F that B.
93
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,726
Everything I have in this life,
I earn myself.
94
00:04:38,904 --> 00:04:42,147
There's no cosmic luck deciding
shit for us. My wealth, my fame...
95
00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:44,315
...my World Series pennant,
I earned myself.
96
00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:46,780
What I didn't earn myself
was when I caught crabs.
97
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:48,945
I got those from
sleeping at a Red Roof Inn.
98
00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:52,411
I'm like, "I ain't got cash."
She goes, "Let me give you a hand job.
99
00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:53,995
It'll be on me." "Yes, ma'am."
100
00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:55,295
- Oh, nice.
- Celebrity.
101
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:56,998
- Celebrity. Yeah.
- Celebrity.
102
00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:59,504
What the fuck are you
Satan worshippers looking at?
103
00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:01,086
Texas is here, man.
104
00:05:01,260 --> 00:05:03,627
Six-foot-three, 215 pounds...
105
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:04,885
Texas.
106
00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:07,387
Barely got peach fuzz
over his pecker, heh.
107
00:05:07,558 --> 00:05:09,014
Nobody else knows about him.
108
00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:10,970
And he ain't got nowhere else to play.
109
00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:13,136
A little help with the ball, please?
110
00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:16,150
- It's me.
- Who's that?
111
00:05:16,317 --> 00:05:19,355
- Just kidding. Psyche your mind.
- Psyche your mind again, it's me.
112
00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:22,111
- Ha, ha.
- Well, if it ain't La Flama fucking Blanca.
113
00:05:22,281 --> 00:05:24,522
- Yeah.
- Straight up from the south side.
114
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,111
How you doing, golden boy?
115
00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:28,242
- I'm just golden, baby, you said the word.
- Mm-hm.
116
00:05:28,412 --> 00:05:32,246
Meanwhile, you're down here
squirting fire like a dragon's pussy.
117
00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:34,748
- You bet your ass I am.
- Don't you think Texas...
118
00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:37,046
...ain't nibbling at your huevos, either.
119
00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:38,668
I can feel them. I come home...
120
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,671
...and feel like one had a little bite.
121
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,003
- You know who it is. Ha, ha.
- That's you.
122
00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:44,963
Taking a bite.
123
00:05:45,471 --> 00:05:47,462
That's right. How you doing?
You been good?
124
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,301
- What's your name?
- Shane.
125
00:05:49,475 --> 00:05:50,465
- Hey, Shane.
- Shane.
126
00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:52,474
- This is Shane.
- Shane catch your balls?
127
00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:54,772
- Yeah, Shane's the catcher on the team.
- Yeah?
128
00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:57,600
- How you doing?
- I'm good. Give me a second to talk...
129
00:05:57,775 --> 00:06:00,142
- ...to my man Kenny.
- Still driving that Blazer?
130
00:06:00,319 --> 00:06:01,901
So, Kenny, like I said...
131
00:06:02,071 --> 00:06:03,527
- ...things are looking real good for you.
- Uh-huh.
132
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,074
- Out here on the mound.
- Okay.
133
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:08,403
That's not the reason
that I'm here today. All right?
134
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:10,614
Have a look on the mound.
135
00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:14,280
Who the fuck is this idiot?
136
00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:19,745
He's from Russia. First name Ivan,
last name, Dochenko.
137
00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:21,003
Asian dude?
138
00:06:25,761 --> 00:06:26,967
Holy crackling shit.
139
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:30,004
He's already thrown 80 balls today.
Did we clock in at what?
140
00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:31,388
One-oh-two.
141
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,469
One-oh-two.
142
00:06:33,644 --> 00:06:35,100
Where did you find this kid?
143
00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:38,934
The Russians were prepping him to
be their stud coming to the new Olympics.
144
00:06:39,108 --> 00:06:42,646
But baseball got voted out
of the games, and we got him.
145
00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:45,187
With 102, I'd say
he's some kind of fucking prodigy.
146
00:06:45,364 --> 00:06:48,732
Big deal. This fucking Russian ass wipe
can throw 102 at practice...
147
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:51,401
...but can homeboy do that shit
in the heat of a game?
148
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,489
You don't throw 102 in practice.
149
00:06:53,664 --> 00:06:55,996
Because what's the point?
It's fucking practice.
150
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:58,498
- Walk with me.
- Get your head out of your ass.
151
00:06:58,669 --> 00:07:01,912
Come on, Skip, it's practice.
152
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:03,705
Ooh! Looking good, Ivan.
153
00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:05,873
Step off the mound a minute,
take a break.
154
00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:07,758
I want you to meet somebody.
155
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,716
Ivan Dochenko, Kenny Powers.
156
00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:12,675
Hello. I've never heard of you before.
157
00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:14,511
I grew up watching you, as a boy.
158
00:07:14,685 --> 00:07:16,676
Don't try to date me, heh,
I ain't that old.
159
00:07:16,854 --> 00:07:21,519
I'm dying to know, how much better
is America than, uh, Russian place?
160
00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:23,979
By "Russian place,"
do you mean Russia the nation?
161
00:07:24,153 --> 00:07:25,314
Yeah.
162
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:26,864
America's good, you know?
163
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:29,567
It's like-- It's like Russia
in many ways, I feel like.
164
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:33,029
- You should come and visit sometime.
- Why would I want to go to Russia?
165
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,661
They've been enemies of America
for the longest time.
166
00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:37,663
Not for many years. That's all over now.
167
00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:40,040
That ended back In the '80s almost.
168
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:42,998
So you think. But the people
in charge don't think that.
169
00:07:43,172 --> 00:07:45,413
You think there's still
conflict between-J
170
00:07:45,591 --> 00:07:48,879
Do I think? I know.
Whatever. Tomato, tomato.
171
00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:50,463
Which one?
172
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:52,799
What is he talking about?
173
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,886
- You said, "Tomato, tomato."
- We got a little language barrier.
174
00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:58,312
What is going on?
This is what you want me to do?
175
00:07:58,479 --> 00:07:59,765
Play word games with him?
176
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:02,976
He throws good. Got a language barrier.
I need patience from you.
177
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,561
Hey. Hop up there, stay" loosen,
178
00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:06,396
- Keep throwing the ball.
- Throw ball.
179
00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:08,527
- Take a walk with me.
- Good to meet you.
180
00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:11,735
Your face is-- ls big. I like it.
181
00:08:11,909 --> 00:08:13,866
So, what do you think of the kid?
182
00:08:14,036 --> 00:08:16,323
I don't know, Roy.
It seems like he has a big ego.
183
00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:19,865
If there's one thing I've learned, uh,
there is no room for egos in baseball.
184
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:22,787
That's exactly what I wanna
talk to you about.
185
00:08:23,754 --> 00:08:26,246
Kenny, I want you to be his mentor.
186
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:28,790
I want you to take that kid
under your wing.
187
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:31,584
I want you to show him how
a big leaguer does things.
188
00:08:32,054 --> 00:08:35,092
You trying to turn me into
motherfucking Mr. Miyagi?
189
00:08:35,641 --> 00:08:38,178
Mr. Miyagi was a bad motherfucker.
190
00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:40,593
Mr. Miyagi was fucking 4 feet tall
and Chinese.
191
00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:42,478
Man, Tm not trying to do that.
192
00:08:42,648 --> 00:08:46,107
You've never let me down yet, Kenny.
You've been a consummate professional.
193
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:49,485
Well, Roy, you're asking
a whole lot of me here.
194
00:08:49,655 --> 00:08:51,441
I know I am.
195
00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:54,027
It's only because I know
you can handle it, hoss.
196
00:08:54,493 --> 00:08:56,234
Love you, baby.
197
00:08:57,496 --> 00:08:59,578
Fucker
198
00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:03,870
Whenever I've experienced
major obstacles in my life...
199
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,035
...I can usually depend on the power...
200
00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:09,001
...of a beautiful woman's love
to help me conquer.
201
00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:13,418
If the time comes, and I call upon you
to believe in me...
202
00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:15,715
...will you do it?
203
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,129
Do what?
204
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:21,392
Will you be the woman that would come
to a very important game of mine...
205
00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:26,523
...in the moment of crisis, rise, stand,
look me dead in the eyes...
206
00:09:26,692 --> 00:09:28,933
...and give me the confidence
I need to prevail?
207
00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:34,238
I mean, I guess. If I'm free.
208
00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:37,867
Okay. Yeah. Ah right, well, cool.
I'll take that. Sure.
209
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:40,027
Cool. Thank you for believing in me.
210
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,491
You're welcome, heh.
211
00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:43,155
It's whatever.
212
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:46,166
In other news, looks like I'm stuck
with the kid for a spell.
213
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:47,747
Ew! That sucks.
214
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,878
You think I want to hang out
with my son?
215
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:51,755
I'd much rather be doing cocaine...
216
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,713
...and watching the Saw movies
on DVD in your dorm room.
217
00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:56,468
Well, then what are you gonna dos?
218
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,591
Kind of hard to say at this point.
219
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:01,928
His bitch of a mom dumped
his ass on me, stone cold.
220
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,308
Yeah, and guess what else?
221
00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:06,391
She also tried to seduce me,
put me into drugs...
222
00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:09,899
...and put alcohol down my throat,
and tried to have me have sex to her.
223
00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:12,730
- Did you?
- Well, you know, I'd never He to you.
224
00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:14,690
So did you have sex with her?
225
00:10:15,157 --> 00:10:17,569
Mm-mm. Nope.
226
00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:19,484
Because what we have is solid gold.
227
00:10:19,661 --> 00:10:21,868
Why am I gonna ruin that
on some old pussy...
228
00:10:22,039 --> 00:10:23,871
...that popped a kid out a year ago? No.
229
00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:25,327
I trust you, heh.
230
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,082
I trust you too.
231
00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:10,584
Whoo! Look at him go, huh?
232
00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:12,995
Thattaboy. Go on and get it.
233
00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:16,044
Why aren't you swimming?
234
00:11:16,218 --> 00:11:18,459
I had tubes in my ears as a kid.
235
00:11:18,637 --> 00:11:20,878
Oh, I gotcha. Surprise, surprise.
236
00:11:21,056 --> 00:11:23,593
Dude loves riding some waves, Huck.
237
00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:26,475
Cutting him up like
he a fucking Ginsu knife.
238
00:11:26,645 --> 00:11:29,057
Kenny's good at everything
that has to do with water.
239
00:11:29,231 --> 00:11:31,848
- Swimming, Jet Ski...
- No, I know, Steve, I know.
240
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,686
- Oh, you do?
- Yeah, I do.
241
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:35,775
Yeah, I know a lot about Kenny.
242
00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:37,903
- Really?
- Yeah, I get him.
243
00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:40,815
In fact, the only thing
I don't get about him...
244
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,951
...is how the fuck you factor
into the situation.
245
00:11:44,121 --> 00:11:47,989
What? No-- My role is essential.
246
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:50,453
Who do you think got him
where he is today?
247
00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:54,495
I knew that man when he was
a dumb, fucking teacher.
248
00:11:54,673 --> 00:11:56,664
- Oh, no kidding?
- When he lived in Mexico.
249
00:11:56,842 --> 00:11:58,048
I knew him in high school.
250
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,004
Yeah, I know about you in high school.
251
00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:09,769
I think I have an understanding of Kenny
over a long range of years. I--
252
00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:12,183
And he can't be
getting distracted, okay?
253
00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:15,475
Last thing he needs is some
fucking bitch-ass, little boy toy...
254
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:18,110
...goddamn hanger-on like you
getting in his way.
255
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:20,362
Don't get in his way.
256
00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:23,407
- I'm not gonna get In his way.
- Good.
257
00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:24,738
You don't get in his way.
258
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:27,573
You have nothing to worry about.
I got my eye on the ball.
259
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,659
Just like a Catcher's supposed to do.
260
00:12:30,125 --> 00:12:32,082
Well, I got my eye on balls as well.
261
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,287
Oh, no kidding.
262
00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:34,748
- Yeah, all the balls.
- Yeah.
263
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,457
Multiple balls.
264
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,417
Because that's what assistants do.
265
00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:40,959
Good luck watching
all them balls, Steve.
266
00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:43,844
- I'll watch as many as I want to.
- Yeah, good luck with it.
267
00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:45,880
What's up, K.P.?
268
00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:49,599
The trident.
269
00:12:50,479 --> 00:12:53,517
Poseidon, the god of the ocean's,
weapon of choice.
270
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:57,854
Ancient mermen used to use this weapon
in battle to fight the crustacean armies...
271
00:12:58,028 --> 00:13:00,440
wand all the shrimps
and jellyfish in the sea.
272
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:03,982
I often come out here
to this abandoned cement factory...
273
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:07,739
...to harness its power;
learn its secrets...
274
00:13:07,913 --> 00:13:10,245
...think about life,
think about the game.
275
00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:12,577
They're the same thing, you know?
276
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,336
Heads up.
277
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,497
Nice hands.
278
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,413
Now listen to what I have to say.
279
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:21,378
I'm about to teach you some things
that can't be taught.
280
00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:24,756
Do you see the yonder peaks
of this ancient building?
281
00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:26,216
Do you mean the roof?
282
00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:27,424
- Yes.
- Yeah.
283
00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:29,761
I need you to scale this
and find your way to the peak.
284
00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:33,394
Heh, no, I can't. That is impossible,
I can't do it.
285
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:34,940
You won't climb up that thing?
286
00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:37,063
I can't. It's too-- Too tall.
287
00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:39,316
Fine. Do you see there?
288
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:42,319
That weird, dark, cavernous area
that's kind of scary?
289
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,651
In order to become a man,
and on the team...
290
00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:47,317
...you have to crawl into there
and murder a rat.
291
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:50,077
Everyone on the team
has done this before.
292
00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:51,490
No.
293
00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:54,999
How am I supposed to mentor you
if you're not gonna do the exercises...
294
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,660
...or transitions that I've thought up of?
295
00:13:57,838 --> 00:13:59,624
- Give me something else--
- All right.
296
00:13:59,798 --> 00:14:04,713
How about you just, at a brisk pace,
run up that ramp and take your shirt oh'?
297
00:14:04,886 --> 00:14:06,877
Why should I take my shirt off?
298
00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:08,637
Because. Why wouldn't you do that?
299
00:14:08,807 --> 00:14:11,219
I'm trying to teach you lessons
that can't be taught.
300
00:14:11,393 --> 00:14:14,101
Think Luke Skywalker would've
learned anything from Yoda...
301
00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:16,603
...if he kept saying "no"?
302
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:20,266
- Luke Skywalker?
- From fucking Star Wars, dog.
303
00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:23,436
You know what? Fuck this.
Obviously, you don't want to fucking learn.
304
00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:27,735
You're sending me a mixed signal,
you know?
305
00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:30,287
Don't try to outsmart me, mister.
306
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:31,488
I'm a fucking writer.
307
00:14:31,746 --> 00:14:34,158
- Yeah, and I'm deejay, bro.
- All right, fine.
308
00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:36,073
You think you can fucking fly solo...
309
00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:38,242
...you could do this on your own?
Go for it.
310
00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:41,333
Good. I don't need lessons
from fucking has-been.
311
00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:45,791
- What'd you just say?
- You heard what I said.
312
00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:47,209
No, I didn't hear.
313
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,094
- I called you a has-been.
- A has-been?
314
00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:50,754
- Yes.
- And I'm gonna assume...
315
00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:52,889
...there was something
lost in translation.
316
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:58,270
In Russia, a has-been is someone
who once was great, but is now shit.
317
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:01,774
That's exactly the same thing
it means in America as well.
318
00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:03,058
That's why I said It.
319
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:05,235
You better fucking think again, bro.
320
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,487
I'm the most famous person
the Mermen has}.
321
00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:10,274
- The next one up to the majors.
- We shall see about that.
322
00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:12,113
You're seeing about it right now.
323
00:15:12,287 --> 00:15:14,244
I'm the team leader
Franchise star player.
324
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,156
See it, saw it, sawn it. You're done.
I won the argument.
325
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,699
And let me tell you something.
326
00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:21,460
I hope you pitch better
than your mouth works.
327
00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:27,376
Because for me, my mouth is
not as good as my arm, right?
328
00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:29,585
Fucking through your face and dead.
329
00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:31,720
Yeah, if I had the gun, I'm like...
330
00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:34,848
Fucking gun's chopped in half,
electricity comes into your face.
331
00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:37,760
- Two guns.
- That one's done too. Inside of you.
332
00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:39,554
And now you're a fucking puppet.
333
00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:41,642
I can bounce this around,
you're a puppet.
334
00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:43,978
- Smash your fucking face in.
- You are like baby.
335
00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:46,143
So I wish you...
336
00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:48,312
...nothing but the best of luck.
337
00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:49,980
Because you're going to need it.
338
00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:51,774
Don't try to wish me good luck.
339
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:55,778
Fuck. What the“?
340
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:59,490
Let's go. Hey, man, don't fuck around.
Don't fuck around, man.
341
00:15:59,668 --> 00:16:01,534
Hey. Hey. He)'-
342
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:06,000
You're my fucking ride.
Fuck you, motherfucker.
343
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:13,587
Andrea?
344
00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:15,756
Andrea? Andrea?
345
00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:17,845
Is this Andrea's classroom?
346
00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:20,852
Andrea? Is this Andrea's classroom?
There you are.
347
00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:22,683
Sir, it's a closed session.
348
00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:23,983
Eat shit, fucker.
349
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:27,726
Andrea, you made a promise to me,
and now, unfortunately...
350
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:30,066
...I have to collect upon that promise.
351
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:31,730
Are you ready to believe in me?
352
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:37,827
Nu?
353
00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:39,784
I'm in class right now.
354
00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:46,040
I'm slowly realizing this.
355
00:16:46,214 --> 00:16:47,500
Uh...
356
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:50,382
Don't whisper. Nobody needs
to be whispering, okay?
357
00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:51,792
This is serious.
358
00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:54,086
We're talking about
our relationship here.
359
00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:56,881
Can we talk about this later?
360
00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:59,299
Okay, cool.
Well, I'm probably just freaking out.
361
00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:02,185
I got a lot of emotional baggage
I've been dealing with...
362
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,847
I'm not some needy old dude
rushing into a classroom...
363
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:07,062
masking for confidence.
Heh, that's not me.
364
00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:09,397
- That's not me, heh.
- Heh.
365
00:17:09,571 --> 00:17:11,187
Tm gonna go now,
I'm gonna be fine.
366
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:15,198
Nobody worry about me.
I got this shit fucking cinched.
367
00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:17,447
All right. That's-- That's; it.
368
00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:20,237
You sure you don't want
to come right now, just to...?
369
00:17:20,415 --> 00:17:22,998
You're busy. You guys are" Okay.
370
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,965
What the fuck is this
Romper Room bullshit?
371
00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:35,253
Stevie. Steven.
372
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:37,012
Kenny, I didn't hear you come in.
373
00:17:37,182 --> 00:17:39,014
I need you to explain this.
What is this?
374
00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:41,175
Well, this is retro-baby chic.
375
00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:45,687
I modeled this after a spread I saw in
the latest Southern Living. Do you like it'?
376
00:17:45,857 --> 00:17:48,815
Let me think about that for a second.
No, I fucking hate it.
377
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:51,943
Tear it down. Start over. Restart.
378
00:17:52,113 --> 00:17:56,698
Okay, right now is one of those times
where I'm feeling a little disrespected.
379
00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:59,781
I come down here and you're
running around with some guy...
380
00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:01,786
...and calling him your best friend.
381
00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:04,118
And now you want me to
redo all this hard Work?
382
00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:06,329
I just feel, hmm...
383
00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:10,838
...like my feelings, uh, aren't
being taken into consideration.
384
00:18:11,341 --> 00:18:15,551
I'm sorry, Stevie, that I am not taking
your feelings into consideration.
385
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,303
- Thank you.
- I'm sorry you decorated the room shittily.
386
00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:20,934
I'm sorry Shane is my best friend.
387
00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:26,346
And most importantly, I'm sorry that I just
broke this silly fucking lamp.
388
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:30,436
Because my whole goddamn reign of
power's being challenged here, Stevie.
389
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:34,399
I don't want my dojo to look like the place
the Cabbage Patch Kids come to fuck.
390
00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:37,985
Now this Russian's here
and he might almost be as good as me.
391
00:18:38,159 --> 00:18:40,025
- It makes me nervous
- Aah!
392
00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:43,157
I've never heard you say
you were nervous before.
393
00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:45,993
Well, It's because I've never
been nervous before, Stevie.
394
00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:47,669
- Does Shane know?
- Of course not.
395
00:18:47,836 --> 00:18:50,328
I'm not trying to look like
a bitch in front of Shane.
396
00:18:50,505 --> 00:18:52,621
He's my best friend. He's not
someone I say things to.
397
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:57,422
Ah, okay. Okay.
398
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:02,969
You know, Kenny, back in high school,
I used to watch you walk through the halls.
399
00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:06,852
And I'd say, "There goes the coolest,
cockiest kid in the world."
400
00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:09,604
But you're no longer
a kid anymore, Kenny.
401
00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:11,515
You're a man.
402
00:19:11,693 --> 00:19:17,655
And I guess all that coolness
and cockiness has, uh, transformed.
403
00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:20,403
But it's transformed...
404
00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:25,829
...into something far more powerful.
405
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:29,082
Battle-hardened confidence.
406
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:36,545
Now, I have seen you face adversity
with April, your career, marketing...
407
00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:38,425
...and Mexicans.
408
00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:42,509
And you, you always emerge victorious.
409
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:46,220
I didn't just come down to Myrtle
for adventure...
410
00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:48,635
...and possibly cheating on my wife.
411
00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:52,147
No. I came down here...
412
00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:56,311
...to be inspired.
413
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,778
I gotta admit, Stevie.
414
00:20:03,077 --> 00:20:07,537
I didn't think you had what it takes to deliver
a heartwarming, inspirational speech.
415
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:09,163
Thank you.
416
00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:12,577
Because of your words,
I'm now ready to destroy.
417
00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:14,336
You need to fucking destroy now.
418
00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:17,714
I'm sorry for hurting your feelings
and destroying that dumb-ass lamp.
419
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,545
Fuck my feelings and fuck that lamp.
420
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:22,131
You need to get to the fucking stadium
and destroy.
421
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,513
The Switch-hitting
Jansen stands in here...
422
00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:27,390
...two on, top of the ninth.
423
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:31,053
The stretch, the pitch--
Swung on and lined to right field, base hit.
424
00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:33,268
- Jorasco gets it in quickly.
- Come on.
425
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:34,647
Time.
426
00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:46,826
Powers, you're in.
427
00:20:53,169 --> 00:20:55,831
Welcome to America, baby dick.
428
00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:04,419
The call has indeed gone to the bullpen.
429
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,099
There will be a pitching change.
430
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:10,016
It is six to one, Mermen, top of the ninth.
431
00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:16,147
And it's Kenny Powers.
432
00:21:16,317 --> 00:21:19,480
The big right-hander coming in
to shut the door once again.
433
00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:26,866
And now, pitching for the Mermen...
434
00:21:27,036 --> 00:21:31,121
...Kenny Powers.
435
00:21:31,332 --> 00:21:33,448
All right now, here we go.
436
00:21:34,085 --> 00:21:36,827
You ready to show this Russian
how we do this in the States?
437
00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:39,872
- You're right.
- Well, show me what you got, Goose.
438
00:21:40,049 --> 00:21:42,165
I told you, I'm Tom Cruise.
439
00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:44,004
I'm gonna hat you think you are.
440
00:21:44,178 --> 00:21:46,089
- Guess what? I am Tom Cruise.
- You're not.
441
00:21:46,264 --> 00:21:47,925
- Tom Cruise.
- Strike this motherfucker out.
442
00:21:48,099 --> 00:21:49,965
- Tom Cruise. Thanks, Goose.
- No.
443
00:21:50,143 --> 00:21:52,009
I'm out of earshot.
444
00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:58,477
Kenny. Kenny.
445
00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:00,517
Go ahead and strike this pussy out.
446
00:22:00,695 --> 00:22:03,027
I was talking to you.
447
00:22:07,452 --> 00:22:09,034
Here we go.
448
00:22:21,424 --> 00:22:22,880
- Strike one.
- Yeah.
449
00:22:23,051 --> 00:22:24,041
Fuck yeah.
450
00:22:36,773 --> 00:22:38,059
- Strike two.
- Barn!
451
00:22:42,945 --> 00:22:45,403
Hey, that ain't distracting you, is it, huh?
452
00:22:45,573 --> 00:22:46,779
You're gonna be all right.
453
00:22:46,949 --> 00:22:49,691
Kenny. Kenny. Kenny.
454
00:23:27,698 --> 00:23:28,904
Goddamn it.
455
00:23:46,300 --> 00:23:47,756
Fuck.
456
00:23:57,562 --> 00:23:58,848
I'm sure he doesn't know--
457
00:23:59,021 --> 00:24:01,763
He gonna come here and probably
give you a little chit-chat.
458
00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:05,650
Powers, thank you, we won't be needing
your services the rest of the evening.
459
00:24:05,820 --> 00:24:07,151
You've got to be kidding me.
460
00:24:07,321 --> 00:24:08,857
One fucking hit. Are you serious?
461
00:24:09,031 --> 00:24:10,533
You've been preoccupied
all week.
462
00:24:10,700 --> 00:24:12,987
Pulling your dick,
messing around, monkey-shining.
463
00:24:13,161 --> 00:24:15,118
I'm gonna give the new guy a chance.
464
00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:16,403
The new guv?
465
00:24:16,581 --> 00:24:17,742
Hey, don't sass me, okay?
466
00:24:17,915 --> 00:24:20,327
Texas is here. You're gonna
fuck me in front of them?
467
00:24:20,501 --> 00:24:22,788
I don't have to fight with you.
Get off the mound.
468
00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:24,043
- Dick.
- Move it.
469
00:24:24,213 --> 00:24:29,174
Piece of shit.
Fucking racist cock-sucking...
470
00:24:29,677 --> 00:24:31,463
Send in the fucking commie.
471
00:24:32,221 --> 00:24:34,758
Ignorant choices.
472
00:24:46,152 --> 00:24:50,271
We'll see. We'll see how
the fucking Russian fares.
473
00:24:53,951 --> 00:24:57,239
- Here we go, Ivan.
- Come on, Ivan.
474
00:24:57,413 --> 00:24:59,279
Darnell, what the fuck?
475
00:25:38,246 --> 00:25:39,987
Yeah.
476
00:25:45,795 --> 00:25:47,706
- Goddamn.
- Unh!
477
00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:00,678
One fucking game, man.
One fucking game, okay? Who cares?
478
00:26:00,851 --> 00:26:02,888
Don't let that commie prick rattle you.
479
00:26:03,062 --> 00:26:05,349
I'm getting thrown
a bunch of things at once.
480
00:26:05,523 --> 00:26:08,015
April, this fucking kid is here,
this Russian person.
481
00:26:08,192 --> 00:26:10,103
It's just too much. It's too much, man.
482
00:26:10,278 --> 00:26:11,985
Hey. Hey. Hey. You look at me.
483
00:26:12,154 --> 00:26:14,816
Look me in the fucking eyes.
Stop being a goddamn pussy.
484
00:26:14,991 --> 00:26:18,905
You're fucking famous and shit,
and no one, no one can stop us.
485
00:26:19,078 --> 00:26:21,570
Never say die. Okay?
486
00:26:22,915 --> 00:26:24,747
- Whoa!
- Hell, yeah. There you go. Stand up.
487
00:26:24,917 --> 00:26:27,158
- Stand up and yell it in my face.
- Never say die!
488
00:26:27,336 --> 00:26:28,997
- Say it!
- Never say die!
489
00:26:29,171 --> 00:26:31,549
- Never say die. Never fucking die!
- Famous and shit.
490
00:26:31,716 --> 00:26:34,458
Never say die.
491
00:26:34,635 --> 00:26:36,546
- Never die.
- Goddamn it, that's right.
492
00:26:36,721 --> 00:26:39,304
Now, how's about I cut us
a couple more monster rails...
493
00:26:39,473 --> 00:26:41,009
...for us young fucking Moods, huh?
494
00:26:41,183 --> 00:26:44,096
Oh, I fucking like that.
I'm gonna change this shitty song...
495
00:26:44,270 --> 00:26:45,852
- ...for something more coke worthy.
- Yeah.
496
00:26:46,022 --> 00:26:47,638
- Whoo!
- Fuck this shit.
497
00:26:47,815 --> 00:26:50,352
Talking about dope beads,
fat lines and tight friends.
498
00:26:50,526 --> 00:26:53,109
We are fucking celebrities, yo.
499
00:26:53,779 --> 00:26:55,190
Whoo!
500
00:26:55,364 --> 00:26:57,230
I don't even know half these bands.
501
00:26:57,408 --> 00:27:00,446
I know, I went crazy on LimeWire
in the early days, that's what--
502
00:27:00,620 --> 00:27:03,328
Oh, shit. I fucking love this song. Heh.