1
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,241
All right, stop right there. Let's roll that back.

2
00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:10,361
- (VIDEO REWINDING)
- That one bit.

3
00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:12,681
KENNY: I think it's time
to stop monkeying around.

4
00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:15,081
- Kenny's cutting in.
- (AUDIENCE APPLAUSE)

5
00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:18,448
GUY: No, that's all right, Ken.
We're good over here. We're cool.

6
00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:20,124
GUY: We're good. Sit back down.
KENNY: Cutting in.

7
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:21,531
Guy, let me take this.

8
00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:23,887
(SLOW AND DISTORTED)
If there's one thing I know,

9
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,207
it's monkey business.

10
00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:27,281
(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

11
00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:29,726
(LAUGHING)

12
00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:37,371
Clarence, can you come in here?
I'd love to show you something.

13
00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:41,085
Take a break, Alan.

14
00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:43,811
I just wanna get some fresh eyes on this.

15
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,409
(SIGHS) Clarence, I want you to watch this.

16
00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:50,244
Tell me what you think.

17
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:51,407
Oh, yeah. Is that right?

18
00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:53,847
Do you have a special
relationship with monkeys, do you?

19
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:55,570
Well, you know I got people in Atlanta.

20
00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:57,642
- And they all love Skittles, red...
- (LAUGHING)

21
00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:58,801
(STOPS VIDEO)

22
00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:02,046
- You think that bit's funny?
- Well, the audience seems to like it.

23
00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:04,208
Yeah. What is it about him that's funny?

24
00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:06,647
CLARENCE: He's one of them stupid
white people that just say anything,

25
00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:08,802
and they do anything and they just funny.

26
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,082
(CHUCKLES) How are the grandkids?

27
00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:12,525
Well, thank you for asking, Mr. Young.

28
00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:14,329
- They're doing great.
- GUY: Good, good.

29
00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:16,448
- Can you send them a message for me?
- CLARENCE: Sure.

30
00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,365
Yeah. Can you tell them that Grandpa
has a terrible sense of humor

31
00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:22,011
and that he laughs at
the stupidest fucking shit ever?

32
00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:23,161
And that's why there won't be any gifts

33
00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:25,481
underneath the Christmas tree
this year from Grandpa.

34
00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:27,449
I don't understand.
What are you talking about?

35
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:29,124
- You don't understand?
- No.

36
00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:32,443
You're fired! Get the fuck outta here.

37
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:33,567
You're crazy.

38
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,165
(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING)

39
00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:20,647
STEVIE: Oh! A soccer ball.

40
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:22,802
What a nice gift from
Aunt April and Uncle Kenny.

41
00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:24,689
Feliz cumpleanos, you little motherfucker.

42
00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:26,524
STEVIE: He really loves this gift, Kenny.

43
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:28,648
He's going to enjoy it a lot.
Thank you so much...

44
00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:30,131
It's cool. It's fine. We get it.

45
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:31,804
He likes it. That's great.

46
00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:34,400
Who wants some more nachos?
Hey, kids. Y'all want some nachos?

47
00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:37,051
No. I don't think they want any more nachos.
I think they're really tired.

48
00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:39,361
And I gotta be honest, I got a headache.

49
00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:41,124
- Oh, a headache, huh?
- Yeah.

50
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:43,089
Oh, isn't that convenient?

51
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:45,891
I don't really know what you have to be
so unhappy about, April.

52
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:50,249
You got beautiful children,
a wealthy husband, loving friends.

53
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:52,243
We don't have any friends, you see?

54
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,368
- You've driven everybody away.
- (SCOFFS)

55
00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:55,521
What's Stevie's family, chopped liver?

56
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:58,001
They might not be hipsters
like Gene and Dixie,

57
00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,082
but that doesn't make them
less a people, all right?

58
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:02,248
- I'm gonna throw you a Hail Mary right now.
- Uh-huh.

59
00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:04,926
If there's anything that can turn
your mood around, maybe it's this.

60
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,721
My good friend, blackie, would like
to take you anywhere you wanna go.

61
00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:11,007
Wash away your worries
and go hang out with blackie.

62
00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:14,084
Let me tell you something.
I don't give a shit about the money.

63
00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:17,926
If you do not help with this marriage
and wanna work on it

64
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:21,049
and give the best effort possible,

65
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,531
then we're gonna have to look
at other options.

66
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:23,647
Other options?

67
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,290
- Yeah.
- Hmm. What would those be, maybe divorce?

68
00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:26,361
- No. That's not what I want.
- Is that what you're talking?

69
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,807
That seems like what you're hinting at.
So let's walk that one through.

70
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:30,484
So we get divorced, I split.

71
00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:32,483
And then we get another jackoff
to come in here

72
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,642
and support the whole entire family like I do.
That sounds great.

73
00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:36,563
How about this roller-skating nerd right here?

74
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:39,325
Welcome to Jellybeans. Can I take your trash?

75
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:40,970
I think we're good with
all the trash here right now.

76
00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:42,530
I have a simple question for you though.

77
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:45,410
Would you like to marry my wife
and fund her fancy-ass lifestyle?

78
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:46,845
We're just having a conversation.

79
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:47,887
- You can...
- We're all good.

80
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,246
- Thank you.
- So we're good?

81
00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:51,084
We're good then, huh?

82
00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:53,731
Divorce is for losers, April. We're not losers.

83
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:56,007
This is a wonderful day.

84
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,766
Toby, can I holler at you for a moment?

85
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:00,887
Get your opinion on something?

86
00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:02,485
Yeah.

87
00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:04,562
I know we both love Mommy.
She's cool, right?

88
00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:07,331
You notice anything weird about her lately?

89
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:09,004
She's kinda acting, like, a little crazy.

90
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,162
Like, maybe like, mentally ill. I don't know.

91
00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:12,651
Maybe it's not a chemical thing.

92
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,326
I hate to say it, but maybe she just sucks.

93
00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,488
I mean, maybe I just married
somebody who sucks.

94
00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:20,882
Honestly, I'm just getting sick and tired
of all the damn head games, man.

95
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,287
Just the withholdings of affection.

96
00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:26,807
Them skin-colored panties she has
with the skid marks with the busting elastic.

97
00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:28,450
I mean, that's like a middle finger to my libido.

98
00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:30,887
- You know what libido is?
- No.

99
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:33,440
It's like these little beans inside of you
that make you horny.

100
00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,363
These ladies can't push the men around.

101
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:37,408
We've gotta be number one
in the house, you understand me?

102
00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:38,606
Yep.

103
00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:39,681
(WOLF GROWLING)

104
00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:41,809
KENNY: Oh, I feel you, Dakota.

105
00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:44,167
Wild animal stuck in the chains of suburbia.

106
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,481
Huh. Reminds me of me.

107
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,727
That's what's so badass about pro wrestling.

108
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,280
I mean, it's the only sport
where there's no official uniform.

109
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,283
I mean, you can come in
with jean shorts and be like,

110
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,283
- "That's part of my character."
- (BUZZER SOUNDS)

111
00:04:56,400 --> 00:05:00,564
I'm sounding the boring alarm.
Guy's tossing it up.

112
00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:03,007
- (LAUGHING)
- "Guy's tossing it up," what's that?

113
00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:05,128
That's something I'm saying now.
It's my new catchphrase.

114
00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:07,766
Let's move on before
this guy puts us all to sleep.

115
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:09,922
We have a very special guest for you today.

116
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,604
She would never stab me in the back.

117
00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:14,047
And most of all, she's the funniest chick
I know. Ladies and gentlemen,

118
00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:17,408
put your hands together for a true wild card,

119
00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:19,403
tennis great, Candi Cox.

120
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:20,726
(APPLAUSE)

121
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:23,004
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYS)

122
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:29,086
Candi Cox. There she is.

123
00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:33,000
Holla!

124
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:37,284
- Holla!
- What's up, girl?

125
00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:40,364
Candi Cox in the hiz-ouse!

126
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,124
- Twerk it. Twerk it. Twerk it.
- Twerk it. Twerk it.

127
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:44,161
That's inappropriate.

128
00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:46,009
What's up, girl?

129
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,048
- Good to see you.
- Hey.

130
00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:51,004
- Queen of the clay, right?
- I'm a huge fan of yours.

131
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:53,248
- Thank you.
- GUY: We're all big fans of yours.

132
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:56,051
You're a beautiful lady
and an even better talent.

133
00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:58,805
I mean, what an athlete.
Candi, I don't know if you've ever met Kenny.

134
00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:01,321
- Kenny, Candi.
- Of course. Kenny Powers, right?

135
00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:03,129
Yeah. You're damn right.

136
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,362
Yeah, I have a friend in San Francisco,
used to date you.

137
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:08,046
That's no big surprise.
I tore through my fair share of ladies

138
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:09,360
when I did my time in San Fran.

139
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:11,408
Yeah, except it was a dude.

140
00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:12,481
Oh! Oh!

141
00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:15,331
- (LAUGHING)
- He said you was a twink man.

142
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:16,771
Mmm-mmm-mmm.

143
00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:18,446
GUY: Hey, Kenny. Were you a twink man?

144
00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:19,561
- What is it, "Twink man"?
- No. No.

145
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,120
I don't like young
and handsome dudes, all right.

146
00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,681
- GUY: You like them a little older?
- No, I don't like any.

147
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:27,047
Everyone settle down.
I know what Candi's problem is.

148
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,406
Candi's on her period.

149
00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:30,687
I mean, I see all these
house flies buzzing around.

150
00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:33,730
I'm thinking they can smell those eggs
bleeding out your pussy.

151
00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:36,485
- Whoa!
- Whoa, man.

152
00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:39,245
- GUY: You need to show respect, man.
- Ovulation is nature's only miracle.

153
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:40,367
I can't talk about that?

154
00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:41,805
Kenny, you don't talk about
a lady's menstrual cycle.

155
00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:42,967
I don't think it's fair.

156
00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:44,326
GUY: Kenny, knock it off.
You're digging a ditch.

157
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:45,401
Not fair.

158
00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:48,404
I'd like to apologize to everybody out there
in the audience. We'll be right back.

159
00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:49,925
Okay? We're gonna wash
Kenny's mouth out with soap.

160
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,001
Not me. Not apologizing.

161
00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:52,081
No, you're not.

162
00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:53,241
And when we get back,
we'll continue the show.

163
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:55,322
- Very uncool.
- And we're clear.

164
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:56,890
- (BELL DINGS)
- What the fuck is this?

165
00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,610
- Oh, man.
- Kenny Powers is going 10-1.

166
00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:00,569
- Fucking cock gobbler.
- Hey.

167
00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:02,404
We don't make fun of
homosexuals on this show.

168
00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:05,529
That's rule one, okay?
Gays are the new blacks. Get with it.

169
00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:11,567
- When's the next tournament?
- September.

170
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:12,846
- September? All right.
- Yeah.

171
00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:13,921
(ZIPPER SOUND OVER SPEAKERS)

172
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,570
KENNY: (ON SPEAKER)
Come on, you motherfucker.

173
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:17,130
- (WATER TRICKLING)
- Don't be rattled. Man, you got this shit.

174
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:19,487
Candi Cox. Of course they're laughing.

175
00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:21,688
They're just being fucking kind to her ass.

176
00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:22,966
Coming out here twerking.

177
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:24,769
Fucking that broad comedy. Fuck that bitch.

178
00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:25,847
- You got the cock, bro.
- (LAUGHING)

179
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:26,967
You're the one with the cock.

180
00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:28,485
Use the fucking cock.

181
00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:30,801
You fucking go out there.
You be confident, man.

182
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:33,963
The audience is loving your fucking vibe, bro.
Just fucking harness that.

183
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:35,690
Just fucking radiate coolness.

184
00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:38,684
Fucking comedy. Sexual energy. Masculinity.

185
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:42,082
You are handsome.
You are loved. You are strong.

186
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:47,611
(APPLAUSE)

187
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:51,810
What the hell's so funny?

188
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:54,008
Candi Cox telling more of her stupid jokes?

189
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:55,809
I guess they're just digging
your vibe, you know.

190
00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,724
They're impressed with how
strong and powerful you are.

191
00:07:58,800 --> 00:07:59,801
(LAUGHING)

192
00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:03,284
DIRECTOR: Okay,
we're live in five, four, three...

193
00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:04,725
Hot mic, champ.

194
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,928
- Hot mic. (CHUCKLES)
- (FEEDBACK WHINING)

195
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,851
STEVIE: Yeah. Look at them titties, girl.

196
00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:16,845
I love how big they are.
They're like two big potatoes.

197
00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:21,130
- Two big old potatoes. Perfect.
- Stevie, what the fuck is this shit?

198
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,009
Oh, yo, dog. Check it.

199
00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:26,971
I got Maria selling baked potatoes
like nobody's business.

200
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,042
What did I tell you, man?
I said the only girls who can work here

201
00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:30,121
gotta be hot chicks, man.

202
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:33,044
Yeah, but you didn't specify which hot chicks.

203
00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:36,010
And I gotta pay for Maria's new boob job...

204
00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:37,206
Somehow.

205
00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:38,691
Maria got a boob job, I didn't even notice.

206
00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:40,683
I don't look at her in a sexual manner. Ever.

207
00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:41,921
STEVIE: Show him. Show him.

208
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:46,090
Make Daddy proud.

209
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:47,401
(GRUNTS)

210
00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:48,846
Impressive. Actually, not bad.

211
00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:51,002
Kinda evens you out a little bit. Hey...

212
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:54,721
There's a lot of children
walking around Rack Room Shoes.

213
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:57,201
Check it. I got Maria working for us

214
00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:01,046
with those titties. Pimp style.
This is what pimps do.

215
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,326
Well, they better work.

216
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,209
I'm starting to second guess
this whole entire kiosk.

217
00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:06,965
Yeah. Guy Young has me in his cross hairs.

218
00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:08,451
Trying to Dontel my ass.

219
00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:10,568
Kenny, I thought you said you couldn't lose.

220
00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:12,802
I thought you had this on lockdown.
I need this gig.

221
00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:14,882
- Ow!
- You don't think I need this?

222
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:18,362
I invested $5.7 thousand into this kiosk.

223
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:20,681
Fuck, Kenny. I know, I know.

224
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,922
My mind's everywhere. How can I be a CEO

225
00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:24,883
when I'm fighting two goddamn
battles on different fronts?

226
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,490
At home, my marriage is shitting the bed,

227
00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:27,925
and at work, I'm dealing with a military coup.

228
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,331
If we don't act fast,

229
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:32,085
Guy Young is gonna burn everything
we love to the ground.

230
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:35,721
Okay. Okay, okay. This is what we do.
Let me take care of Guy Young.

231
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:38,007
And you, you deal with
your fucked up marriage at home.

232
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:40,321
I will personally neutralize his ass.

233
00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:41,925
- Can I trust you with this?
- Oh, yeah.

234
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,970
I'm gonna skin him alive
and make a lamp out of his skin.

235
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:46,485
All right, Hannibal Lecter.
Settle down, all right.

236
00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:48,881
We don't start with that, all right?
That's a last resort.

237
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,042
At this point, I think we just need
to send him a message.

238
00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:52,246
Plain and simple.

239
00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:55,682
Nobody messes with me.
Nobody messes with you.

240
00:09:55,760 --> 00:10:00,004
And nobody messes with Maria's titties.

241
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,851
Is she gonna work today or is she gonna
just sit there and eat fucking papas?

242
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:04,922
Yeah. No, she's working.

243
00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:08,044
(SINGING ALONG WITH RADIO)
I'll know better what to do

244
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:10,970
Next time I fall

245
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:13,566
In love

246
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:15,051
(HUMS ALONG)

247
00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:18,966
The next time I fall

248
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:21,725
- In love
- (SHUTS OFF RADIO)

249
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:25,202
Next time I fall...

250
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:30,804
Dixie.

251
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:34,680
(SIGHS) I know it's very odd that
I'd be asking you for advice

252
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:36,922
when your life's in fucking utter ruins.

253
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,241
But you're my last resort.

254
00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,322
When's the first time you realized

255
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:45,962
that your marriage was
up shit creek without a paddle?

256
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:48,208
Well, when you revealed to me

257
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:51,329
that my husband was unfaithful
and addicted to drugs.

258
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:54,529
Mmm. Yeah. 'Course.

259
00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:57,683
But before that.
Like, were there any, like, signs or anything?

260
00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,690
No. Honestly, there wasn't one.

261
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,683
That was the weirdest part.

262
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:04,250
Why do you ask?

263
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:06,209
(SIGHS) It's April.

264
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:09,682
Yep. She's being fucking super crazy.

265
00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:15,051
Talking about how she's unhappy
and wanting to seek other options.

266
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:16,451
Oh, my God.

267
00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:19,888
Settle down.
Don't get all horny over my debacles.

268
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:21,450
No, I'm not. I'm just...
What on earth happened?

269
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:23,045
You guys were so good together.

270
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:25,367
I don't know.
That's what I'm coming to you for.

271
00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:27,329
You're her friend. What's she saying?

272
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:28,845
You know, is she going through menopause?

273
00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:30,445
She losing her memories?

274
00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:32,727
Did a fucked up evil version
of her from the future come

275
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:33,926
and fucking try to ruin my shit?

276
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:38,881
No. Nothing. I mean, everybody thought
that you were gonna dump her.

277
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:42,089
What the fuck? Who's everyone?

278
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,446
You know, the group.

279
00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:46,205
You were just always gone,
married to your job.

280
00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:47,930
I think everybody just assumed that

281
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,048
you were maybe moving on to a younger girl.

282
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:52,726
Jesus Christ! I mean, yes,
of course, I could do those things.

283
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,201
But I choose not to.
I'm a good Christian white man.

284
00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:58,682
- (SCOFFS) Sickening.
- I can't believe she's leaving you.

285
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,285
Hold your roll, she ain't leaving me, all right?

286
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,089
I'm about to nip this shit in the butt.

287
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,248
Kenny Powers is not getting
a fucking divorce.

288
00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:06,800
I just gotta remind April
how dope her fucking life is.

289
00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:07,881
Hmm.

290
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,883
I know we've had our differences in the past,

291
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:12,406
but I may need your assistance
in the days to come.

292
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:15,723
- I can't lose my wife.
- Sure. I'll do what I can, Kenny.

293
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:17,564
No. Okay, yeah.
That's what I'm asking you for.

294
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:20,291
You know, this is actually nice, us chatting.

295
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:22,362
It's been hard since Gene's been gone.

296
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:25,171
- You know, for me, it's been a lot of...
- (SHUSHES)

297
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:27,242
Don't run your mouth too much.
It's not attractive.

298
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:28,651
This is about me right now.

299
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:31,291
I got big problems going on.

300
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,763
And, Dixie-noodles,

301
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,446
there's one more thing you should know.

302
00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:41,124
Gene never...

303
00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:42,645
He...

304
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,041
He never came inside that woman.

305
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:49,290
After a few pumps, he withdrew his penis
and he started smashing it

306
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:53,285
between the ring and the lid of the toilet
for penance.

307
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,169
He still loves you.

308
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:56,890
You should give him a second shot.

309
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,970
Thanks for your help.

310
00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:09,128
(CHOIR SINGING)
Just a closer walk with thee

311
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:16,008
Grant it, Jesus, if you please...

312
00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:19,482
This dude is the answer
to our Guy Young problem.

313
00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:21,801
Look how ginormous he is.

314
00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:25,123
Well, it's no doubt
this gentleman has acromegalia.

315
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:28,164
I just wonder if he's gonna be
big enough for Guy Young.

316
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:29,241
Guy Young ain't no scrub.

317
00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:30,890
STEVIE: Well, this guy ain't no scrub.

318
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:34,203
He knows mixed martial arts,
professional wrestling.

319
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,647
Sports. All that stuff.

320
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:40,361
I am weak, but thou art strong

321
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,886
He does have a beautiful voice.

322
00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:46,564
Jesus, keep me

323
00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:48,529
- (HUMMING ALONG)
- From all wrong

324
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:51,007
What we're primarily looking to do here
is send a message, okay?

325
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,445
Don't fuck him up too bad.

326
00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:53,925
Stevie, does he know
what he's supposed to say?

327
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,764
Yeah. Say your line, Joel.

328
00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:59,401
Hello, Guy Young. I am a sports fans...

329
00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:02,882
- That being said...
- That being said,

330
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:07,966
I would appreciate it if you would give
Kenny Powers more screen time.

331
00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:09,929
And...

332
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,401
- Bit opportunities.
- Big opportunities.

333
00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:14,687
"Bit" opportunities. Like comedic bits.
Like little riffs and stuff.

334
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:15,727
All right.

335
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,404
Practice that a bunch, man.
You gotta have that down.

336
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:18,925
Because if you don't
fucking deliver the message,

337
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,001
this whole thing's a waste, okay?

338
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:21,491
- Okay.
- Once you deliver the message,

339
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:23,608
give it about five seconds. Let it sink in.

340
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,364
And then, dealer's choice.

341
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:27,966
- Whatever you want, dog.
- When do I get that cash?

342
00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:30,202
You'll get half up front
and half when the deal's done.

343
00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:32,203
- How much did we agree to pay him?
- $20,000.

344
00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:33,805
$20,000?

345
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,086
- You're serious?
- What?

346
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:36,844
You negotiated fucking $20,000

347
00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:38,570
- for a basic Alabama beatdown?
- You... You said...

348
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:41,723
No! You're... That's a fucking 1 -8-7 price, man.
What the fuck's wrong with you?

349
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,404
I've never organized a hit before.

350
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:44,527
- I don't...
- This isn't a fucking hit.

351
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,125
This isn't a fucking hit. Don't say hit.

352
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:47,247
If you're gonna negotiate like a dipshit,

353
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,481
you're gonna have to pay the price.

354
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:49,766
Look, I'll pay you 75 bucks

355
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:51,285
and the difference is
coming out of your per diem.

356
00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:53,169
- Out of my per diem?
- Yep. That's what we're doing.

357
00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:56,404
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

358
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:05,008
(DRAMATIC ELECTRONIC MUSIC)

359
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,884
Oh! Look what the cat dragged in.

360
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:21,531
It doesn't have to be this way.

361
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,250
Well, this is all your fault, man.

362
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:26,369
You were hungry
and I took you under my wing.

363
00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:29,284
And then you bit
the underside of my fucking wing.

364
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:31,761
There's room on the show for both of us.

365
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:33,410
A natural two-hander.

366
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:36,165
Two-hander, my dick!
I gave you everything, Kenny.

367
00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:38,129
And then you had to challenge me.

368
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:40,282
Now you're going down, motherfucker.

369
00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:42,442
Hasn't enough blood already been spilt?

370
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:45,842
- When does it end?
- It ends Friday.

371
00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:48,048
I'm gonna finish you, once and for all.

372
00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:51,169
- You motherfucker.
- (LAUGHS)

373
00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,322
All right. Let the best man win.

374
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:56,722
- I'll see you in hell!
- Fuck you!

375
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,162
STEVIE: I went to my chin doctor, and it just...

376
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:03,766
He gave me these options.
It's such a difficult choice.

377
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:06,286
The chin is one of the foremost things
you see on a person's face.

378
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:07,970
Okay. Here's an option.

379
00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:09,610
The John Kerry. What do you think?

380
00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:10,886
- You don't like it.
- No.

381
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,086
No. You don't like it at all.

382
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,486
I saw that by the look on your face.

383
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:15,324
- (INAUDIBLE)
- Now this is the Aaron Eckhart,

384
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:16,970
but it looks sort of more like a butt chin, huh?

385
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:18,241
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

386
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:19,881
What about this?

387
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,406
- The John Travolta?
- Someone's coming out.

388
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,009
Joel, you are on.

389
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:29,320
I'm gonna kill him.

390
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:30,970
Go get him.

391
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,680
No, no, no, no.
I'm not giving out autographs today, man.

392
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:40,969
Hello, Guy Young. I am the fan of your show.

393
00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:45,523
Being said, give Kenny Powers
all the scream times

394
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:47,568
- and big opportunities.
- Oh, yeah.

395
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,608
Kenny... What the fuck are you
talking about, man?

396
00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:52,727
- (GRUNTING)
- What?

397
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:56,924
- Oh! Oh!
- (GRUNTING CONTINUES)

398
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:58,367
Look at me. Look at me!

399
00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:01,330
- Look at me.
- No!

400
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:03,528
Oh, my God. (GASPS)

401
00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:06,807
He saw me! He saw me!

402
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:08,960
(TIRES SCREECHING)

403
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:13,445
(WHIMPERING)
He's chasing us! He's chasing us!

404
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:19,124
(GROWLING)

405
00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:26,361
KENNY: Woo, woo.

406
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,446
- KENNY: (WHISPERING) Here she comes.
- Kenny?

407
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:32,682
Three, two, one...

408
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,127
- Surprise!
- ALL: Surprise!

409
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:38,849
Look at her. She's like,
"What the fuck is this?"

410
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,809
- No, but really, what the fuck is this?
- (LAUGHS)

411
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:43,367
This, sweetheart, is a celebration

412
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:45,602
to remind you how awesome your life is

413
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:47,523
and how cool everything
is between you and I.

414
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,284
- You invited all these people?
- Yeah.

415
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,567
These are all your friends from the past,
some from the future.

416
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,244
They're new friends that you'll meet tonight.

417
00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:56,403
Yeah. I put out a Facebook invite e-chat thing.

418
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,767
There's that person.
There's them. I forgot their names.

419
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:00,365
Oh, and look who else is here.

420
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,920
- Jamie. Even though he moved to Orlando...
- Oh, Jamie.

421
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,764
...I chartered a private jet so he could be here.

422
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:07,650
He said not to say nothing, so sorry.

423
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:09,290
- It's all right.
- Thanks for keeping the secret, James.

424
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:10,970
I appreciate it.

425
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:13,008
Hey. There's one more little surprise.

426
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:16,607
Look who's back on the scene, Mean Gene.

427
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:19,286
The old spaghetti night crew,
reunited once again.

428
00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:21,283
Trying to rebuild their foundation of marriage.

429
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:23,442
Marriage is an important thing,

430
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,284
- to work on, to keep at.
- Right.

431
00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:26,771
- You never quit a marriage.
- (CLEARS THROAT)

432
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:28,291
Why is there a priest here?

433
00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:30,886
Because after we have
the April-flavored cherry cheesecake,

434
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:33,964
you and I, we're renewing our vows, everyone.

435
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:35,041
- ALL: Aww,
- That's right. Yep.

436
00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:37,327
In front of all these people.

437
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:38,845
- It's gonna be the shit.
- Kenny...

438
00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:41,651
This is... This is too much right now.

439
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:43,290
- This is great. Just enjoy yourself.
- (DOORBELL)

440
00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:45,044
You hear that?

441
00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:46,963
Sounds like another
mystery guest has arrived.

442
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,168
Let me go get that. Have fun. Enjoy yourself.

443
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:50,730
Everybody, celebrate April.

444
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,962
April's party.

445
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:54,201
What the fuck are you doing here?

446
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,800
Mission fail, dude. Okay, we gotta bow down.

447
00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:59,486
- There is no winning this one.
- What are you talking about?

448
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:01,210
I'm talking about Joel. He blew it.

449
00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:02,611
We gave him too much dialogue.

450
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,160
Okay. Guy Young beat the shit out of him.

451
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:06,765
You do realize the fucking
taping is tomorrow?

452
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:08,444
- I know. I'm so sorry, Kenny.
- (SIGHS)

453
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:10,170
I am so sorry. What should we do?

454
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,129
What do you mean?
There's nothing we can do.

455
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,850
Guy's gonna castrate me
on the show tomorrow.

456
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,161
All because of you.

457
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:17,844
Is there a big party going on in here?

458
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:19,649
Yes. I'm trying to save my marriage.

459
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:21,888
- Why wasn't I invited?
- Because, Stevie,

460
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:23,086
you failed me.

461
00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:25,561
But that just happened right now...

462
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:27,601
(SIGHS)

463
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:29,324
(HARP MUSIC PLAYING)

464
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:40,845
Everyone? Everyone.

465
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:42,365
Can I get your attention, please?

466
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:43,726
Everyone, attentions, please. Thank you.

467
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:45,928
Viv, shut up. Okay? Shut up.

468
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,685
Uh, I just wanna thank you all once again
for coming out

469
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,525
to this special night to celebrate my wife,

470
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,967
- April Powers.
- (SLOW MUSIC PLAYING)

471
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,884
And right now, I want to do something
that's a little out of character for me.

472
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,361
Come on, baby doll.
Come up here and let's sing a duet together.

473
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:01,044
I don't wanna sing.

474
00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:05,887
(SINGING)
Well, I've had the time of my fucking life

475
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:07,564
You recognize this song, sweetheart?

476
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,529
- I don't wanna sing.
- Come on, sweetheart. This is your part.

477
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:11,529
(SINGING WITHOUT KNOWING WORDS)

478
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,521
I know what you're doing. It's so sweet.

479
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,728
- I don't really wanna sing.
- Nope. Your part's almost up.

480
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,724
I don't wanna sing.
I don't... I don't want any of this.

481
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,928
Kenny, it feels like she doesn't want to sing.

482
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,048
- So maybe we'll move on.
- Okay, Dixie.

483
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:25,764
Wonderful to have your opinion in this thing.

484
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:27,490
But she was talking to me
and so I heard what she said.

485
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:28,925
Okay. You know what? Fine.
This is April's party.

486
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:31,930
Fuck it. She doesn't want to
fucking sing. Karaoke's done.

487
00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:33,769
There we are. No more karaoke, everybody!

488
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:36,684
- I never asked for this party.
- Well, April, I'm trying to make things better.

489
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,250
Kenny. That's enough, Kenny.

490
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:39,924
Motherfucker, you wanna say something?
Motherfucker.

491
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,570
You remember what this does right here?

492
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,005
Get that outta my face.

493
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:44,241
- Hey!
- DIXIE: Hey!

494
00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:47,609
Hey, that is enough.
Leave him alone. You're acting crazy.

495
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,808
Oh, I'm acting crazy?
Let's clear the air, shall we?

496
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,531
Can we clear the air for a moment?
Guess what, Dixie?

497
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:54,170
Gene never cheated on you. I lied about that

498
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,971
because I didn't want April
to know I was doing cocaine.

499
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,725
- True story.
- That's true. Thank you.

500
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,848
I told you, I never slept with anybody.

501
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:03,285
And then we got fucking Tel over here.

502
00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:05,567
Goddamn Indian dude pretending to be white.

503
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,007
How much goddamn chicken
tikka masala do you eat?

504
00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:10,009
None. You're a disgrace, Tel.

505
00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:11,201
- That's enough.
- No, no. I'm not done, April.

506
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:12,441
- That's enough.
- I'm not done.

507
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:14,045
Because now I wanna turn
the spotlight on you.

508
00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:17,249
What can I do to make you happy now?
Let's try and see.

509
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:20,210
I can't invite your friends
to a fucking party 'cause that's not enough.

510
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,601
I can't sing a fucking song with you
'cause that's not enough.

511
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,842
I can't buy fucking luxuries and fancy cars

512
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,526
and expensive fur coats
and fine jewelry and chinas!

513
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:28,687
That's not enough either!

514
00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:30,842
None of it's fucking enough!

515
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:32,604
What do you want, huh?

516
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:35,047
You want me to quit my fucking job?

517
00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:36,724
Go back to being your little bitch boy?

518
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:38,643
Well, it's not happening!

519
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:41,007
If anyone wants to take my television job,

520
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:44,368
they'll have to do it
over my dead fucking body!

521
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,201
I think you need to leave.

522
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:56,444
- No. I'm the one who...
- No! You need to get out.

523
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:58,170
Get out.

524
00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,163
Let's maybe we could
just take it down a notch.

525
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:02,402
- No, I need... I need you to go.
- There's people here from out of town.

526
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,323
Maybe everyone's saying
some stuff they don't really mean.

527
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,402
No! I'm done.

528
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:08,366
You don't mean this, April...

529
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,408
I want you to get out!

530
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:12,847
- Get the fuck out!
- God damn, woman.

531
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:14,126
Throwing fucking mustard at me.

532
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:18,047
No! I can fucking break shit, too!

533
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:21,004
I'm done.

534
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,764
- Fine. You want me out of here?
- Yeah.

535
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,002
Okay, I'm out. Party's over.

536
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:28,368
I guess I'll have to find somebody new
to fall in love with who will appreciate these.

537
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:30,329
- Want some fucking rubies?
- Get the fuck out.

538
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:31,765
Some fucking emeralds?

539
00:22:33,120 --> 00:22:34,929
Move. Get the fuck out of the way.

540
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:38,362
Worst goddamn "Fix my marriage party" ever.

541
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,602
Damn it!

542
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:51,246
(WOLF HOWLING)

543
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:54,045
(WHINING)

544
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:10,320
(EXHALES)

545
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:15,730
- (COCKS GUN)
- Goodbye, friend.

546
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:24,251
(TIRES SQUEAL)

547
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:05,365
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

548
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:09,531
GUY: I'll talk to Kenny.
It's not gonna be a problem.

549
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:11,523
There he is. (CHUCKLES)

550
00:24:12,360 --> 00:24:14,203
All right.
I'll take care of it. Don't worry about it.

551
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:15,805
I got it. I got it, I got it.

552
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:20,761
Oh, KP, I think I ran into
one of your fans yesterday.

553
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:22,365
Or my foot met his face. Wha!

554
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:23,521
(LAUGHS)

555
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:26,725
Look, man. I just wanna apologize.

556
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:30,327
I know we're trapped in
the midst of this epic rivalry and...

557
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:31,801
(SIGHS)

558
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:34,008
I wanna extend my hand
in an offering of peace.

559
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:37,928
My family life is crumbling.

560
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,402
My marriage is almost over. My...
April kicked me out of the house last night.

561
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:44,688
I just don't think I have
any more fight left in me.

562
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:46,808
You win, Guy.

563
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:50,242
Please, just tell the network to let me stay.

564
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:52,163
We can do things how they were before.

565
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,004
You'll be in charge. I'll know my place.

566
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:58,324
And it can just be like how it was before.

567
00:24:58,400 --> 00:24:59,845
I just can't lose this job, Guy.

568
00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:02,207
This is all I have. I'm hurting, man.

569
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:04,282
I'm just trying to level with you as a friend.

570
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:07,160
Well...

571
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:12,681
KP, I'm not your friend.

572
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:16,048
I never was, okay? You're a fucking loser.

573
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:17,844
Okay? And you're not fit
to be out on that stage.

574
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:21,402
You should be out there with the normies.

575
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:22,641
With the plebeians. You know?

576
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:27,601
With the fucking redneck idiots
and the fucking stupid jiggaboos clapping

577
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:28,966
'cause they see bright lights.

578
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:33,045
They want greatness, but they can't achieve it
so they love watching it.

579
00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:35,009
That's who I am. Okay?

580
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:39,961
I can shit in my hand and say,
"Hey, taste my shit, asshole."

581
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:44,409
Those fucking morons
will eat that shit gladly.

582
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,967
Chew it right up. Remember this moment.

583
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:51,324
(INHALES) Because I win.

584
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:54,483
I fucking win. And, Kenny...

585
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:58,246
You're fucking out. You're out.

586
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:01,130
You're fired. And good luck to you.

587
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:07,324
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Guy Young in the house.

588
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,402
- How's everybody doing tonight?
- WOMAN: Fuck you, Guy!

589
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:11,005
(CROWD BOOING)

590
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:12,445
WOMAN: You're an asshole, Guy Young.

591
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:15,171
- Oh, shit.
- (TAPS MIC)

592
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,481
Hot mic, champ.

593
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:22,690
I'll be your jiggaboo.

594
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:24,761
Fuck you!

595
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:26,205
MAN: Man, that's bullshit.

596
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:29,962
I win.

597
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:32,721
(CROWD BOOING)

598
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:34,848
(JUST A CLOSER WALK
WITH THEE PLAYING)

599
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:36,521
Are you guys serious?

600
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:44,685
(BREATHES DEEPLY)