1 00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:11,510 - Don't freak out, dude. Just relax. - I'm freaking out. 2 00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:14,763 You're fucking looking a little suspicious. Now just calm down. 3 00:00:14,931 --> 00:00:17,391 If one of these pigs takes my wife, I will kill them. 4 00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:19,685 Maria, down. Uh, down-ay. 5 00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:23,022 Fucking under the blankets. Put that Tecate box on her head. 6 00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:26,442 - All right, he's calling us. He's calling us. - Fuck. 7 00:00:26,609 --> 00:00:29,945 - Why are there so many dogs? - Looking for al Qaedas. I don't know. 8 00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:32,448 - Stop it. - I'm going to. Let me pull the fuck up. 9 00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:34,450 - Stop. - Jesus Christ. 10 00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:39,538 Hello. How are you, officer? 11 00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,707 Probably want the passports. Okay. 12 00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:46,045 Here you go. Just two passports from two Americans. 13 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:50,299 Destination? 14 00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:53,427 Uh, Shelby, North Carolina. We're heading home. 15 00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:55,137 Heading to the hometown. 16 00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:57,306 You bust any Soviets out here today? 17 00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,641 You busting...? Busting the commies? 18 00:00:59,809 --> 00:01:01,018 No. 19 00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:02,811 Nature of your visit? 20 00:01:02,979 --> 00:01:04,980 The, uh...? The visit in Mexico? 21 00:01:05,148 --> 00:01:06,815 - Yeah. - Uh... 22 00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:08,484 Mainly soul-searching. 23 00:01:08,651 --> 00:01:10,319 Soul-searching? Is that drug talk? 24 00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,362 No, no, no. We... No, we... 25 00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:14,573 - Vacation. It was a vacation trip. - Okay. 26 00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:18,494 Went to Cabo Wabo, to "Macu Picos," where all the pyramids are. 27 00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:21,330 Just all the vacation destinations in Mexico. 28 00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:23,499 Gonna need you to pull the car over, sir. 29 00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:27,002 Why do you need me to do that? 30 00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:29,338 Because I'm gonna search it. 31 00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:30,714 Okay. 32 00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:32,299 You know what? 33 00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:34,093 I got a confession to make, okay? 34 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:35,469 But, Kenny... 35 00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:38,680 I just wanna come clean with this so we can save everybody some time. 36 00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:42,309 - I don't think you need... - Shh, shh, shh. I got this, Stevie. 37 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,019 I've been hiding something, okay? 38 00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:47,272 - What are you hiding? - This. 39 00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:53,779 Check it. You recognize who I am? 40 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:54,988 Nope. 41 00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:57,241 Goatee. 42 00:01:57,408 --> 00:02:00,369 - What does that mean? - Lock into the eyes. 43 00:02:01,996 --> 00:02:06,834 Take in the hair, facial structural, uh, features. 44 00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:08,252 Kenny Powers. 45 00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,046 - Excuse me? - Kenny Powers, Kenny Powers. 46 00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:12,714 The base... The baseball player? 47 00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:15,717 - The baseball player? - The fucking baseball player. 48 00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:18,095 Holy shit, Kenny P. In the house. 49 00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:20,264 - How's it going? - Get the fuck out of here. 50 00:02:20,431 --> 00:02:22,558 I'd love to get out of here. We're trying to. 51 00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:24,226 No, no, no. Can I get a picture? 52 00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:26,603 Give me a picture. We gotta get a pic right now. 53 00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:29,231 Can you say that catch phrase you always say? That... 54 00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:31,233 - You're fucking out. - You're fucking out. 55 00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:32,442 It's "you're fucking out." 56 00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:33,652 - Ready? - Yeah. 57 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:35,445 You're fucking out! 58 00:02:35,613 --> 00:02:37,072 - Yeah, okay. - Whoo! All right! 59 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,324 - So we're good. - Here you go. 60 00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:40,742 Thank you very much. 61 00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:43,036 Nice to meet you. Do you have any contact info? 62 00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:45,581 I do not. Thank you for keeping the border safe. 63 00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:49,459 Hey, before you go. You're fucking out of Mexico. 64 00:02:49,627 --> 00:02:50,878 - Ha-ha-ha. - I'm good, huh? 65 00:02:51,045 --> 00:02:53,755 Let me know when you catch bin Laden. I got some champagne. 66 00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:56,049 - Will do, motherfucker. - You bet. 67 00:02:56,217 --> 00:02:57,426 Whoo! 68 00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,761 We're safe now, Maria. 69 00:02:59,929 --> 00:03:02,097 Kenny's celebrity saved us. 70 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:04,433 Feels good to break the laws in America again. 71 00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:40,469 Whoo! America! 72 00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:43,388 Whoo! 73 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,563 Looks like that's the last of your shit. 74 00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,815 Here you go. Can you just take that? 75 00:03:53,983 --> 00:03:56,860 So it'll balance you out. Yeah. 76 00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:59,988 Hey, boo, could you give us a second? 77 00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:01,949 Can you wait inside, please? 78 00:04:02,116 --> 00:04:03,909 That's yours too. Don't forget that. 79 00:04:04,702 --> 00:04:06,078 There you go. 80 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,038 Very strong legs. Very sure-footed. 81 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,457 My little mule. 82 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:13,168 Fucking Shelby. 83 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,462 - Fucking Shelby. - We made it. 84 00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:17,965 Guess you're gonna go fuck April now, huh? Probably? 85 00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:20,676 - Probably? Definitely. - Definitely? 86 00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:23,011 Maybe we'll start off slow with a welcome-home blowjob. 87 00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:25,639 - Ooh! - Yeah, we'll see how it goes. 88 00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:28,850 Light some candles, heat up a fucking Lean Cuisine and go to town. 89 00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:31,270 Ooh! Get sexy, huh? 90 00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:35,357 Well, man, it was amazing and I thank you. 91 00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:38,151 Thank you. I don't think I could've done what I did in Mexico... 92 00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:41,822 ...without somebody there to do all the rest of the shit... 93 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:44,116 ...that needed to be done down in Mexico. 94 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:47,411 It's my job, man. That's my job. 95 00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:49,663 Give me some skin. 96 00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:54,626 I'll see you around. 97 00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,545 Not if I see you first. 98 00:04:57,505 --> 00:04:58,714 Oh! 99 00:04:58,881 --> 00:05:00,507 Look! A penny! 100 00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:05,887 Adiós, Stevie. 101 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:16,398 - Dustin? Honey, you want this? - Oh, yeah. 102 00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:27,034 Mi familia. 103 00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:29,077 I've returned to you. 104 00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:30,996 - Uncle Kenny. Ha-ha-ha. 105 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:34,374 Well, if it isn't my favorite nephew, huh? How you doing, buddy? 106 00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:37,794 And the other nephew. Look at you, Biggie Smalls. Goddamn. 107 00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:40,505 Look like you've aged three years since last I saw you. 108 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:43,175 Got some sort of reverse Benjamin Button thing going on? 109 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,469 Oh, he's fine, Kenny. Wayne's normal. 110 00:05:45,636 --> 00:05:47,095 Yeah, of course he is. 111 00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:48,305 Get in here, motherfucker. 112 00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:50,474 - Ha-ha-ha. - You bastard. 113 00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:52,601 Look at this one, huh? 114 00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:53,935 - Old sweet tits. - Oh. 115 00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:57,105 - Wow, you've really trimmed up. - Oh, thank you. 116 00:05:57,273 --> 00:06:00,025 Not nearly as heavy as you were last time. You look great. 117 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:03,695 Yeah. That kissing-on-the-cheek thing is a custom I picked up abroad. 118 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,238 Not trying to flirt. 119 00:06:05,406 --> 00:06:08,617 Now, when you say that you were abroad, does that mean Tampa or? 120 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:12,120 Well, Tampa didn't really pan out the way I hoped it would. 121 00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:14,956 So I decided just to split and head down to Mexico. 122 00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:19,086 I fought and fucked my way to being the greatest gringo that country's ever seen. 123 00:06:19,253 --> 00:06:21,213 I also found our father... 124 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,673 ...and earned a place on a team in Myrtle Beach. 125 00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:26,134 - True story. - Wait a second. You found Pop? 126 00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:28,970 - Mm-hm. - Did he ask about me or? 127 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,890 No, he didn't really ask about you at all. 128 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:34,267 It was me who went there and searched for him. 129 00:06:34,435 --> 00:06:36,228 We're not gonna sit in Mexico in an adobe... 130 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,980 ...talking about somebody who's not even there. That'd be stupid. 131 00:06:39,148 --> 00:06:40,148 Oh. 132 00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:42,442 Whose birthday is it? 133 00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:44,277 - It's Rose. - Rose. 134 00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:45,695 - Who? - Your niece, Rose. 135 00:06:45,863 --> 00:06:48,240 Oh, Rose. Okay. Yeah, whatever. 136 00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:51,159 - Anyway, I gotta get a move on. - Okay. 137 00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:54,329 I got a pot of titties waiting for me at the end of the rainbow. 138 00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:56,164 Before I can sip upon them... 139 00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:59,835 ...I need to go ahead and take a big old shit in a fucking American toilet. 140 00:07:00,002 --> 00:07:01,628 - Cool? - Yeah. 141 00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:03,797 Give me high-fives. American high-fives. 142 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:06,216 Good to see your goddamn white faces. Give it up. 143 00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:07,509 - Yeah. - Whoo! 144 00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:18,353 I mean "school." 145 00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:45,755 Hop up, sweetheart. 146 00:07:45,923 --> 00:07:47,215 Get out of here. 147 00:07:47,383 --> 00:07:48,800 Excuse me. 148 00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,345 Lunch kids! All you motherfuckers eating food... 149 00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:54,639 ...put it down. Look up to me. 150 00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:56,141 I need all eyes up here now. 151 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,601 Get this thing out of here. 152 00:07:57,768 --> 00:07:59,478 Everyone, eyes up here. 153 00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:01,480 Fucking eyes up here... 154 00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:04,608 ...so I have all the attentions of everyone. Attention, please. 155 00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:07,736 For those of y'all who do not know who I am... 156 00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:09,946 ...my name is Kenny Powers. 157 00:08:10,114 --> 00:08:12,866 And as fucked up and weird as it may seem... 158 00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,576 ...I used to be a teacher here. 159 00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,411 But now I return to you... 160 00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:19,039 ...a victor, a champion... 161 00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:23,335 ...a man who has defeated the face of Mexican baseball. 162 00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:27,255 Not to get back my old job. Fuck that noise. 163 00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:30,509 But to capture the heart of one of your teachers... 164 00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:32,093 ...and take her away forever. 165 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,012 So at this time... 166 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:37,140 ...I would like the beautiful, the forgiving... 167 00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:41,186 ...the talented, big-chested art teacher... 168 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,480 ...to please step forward. 169 00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:48,443 Where's she at? 170 00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,529 Show me them big old titties. Come on. 171 00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:52,197 I... I... 172 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,282 I'm the art teacher. 173 00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:57,369 The fuck you are. Where's the real art teacher? 174 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,955 Hey, Kenny. What are you doing? 175 00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:02,707 What does it look like I'm doing? I'm here to get April. 176 00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:06,378 Well, then you're standing on a table cursing at children for no reason... 177 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,964 ...because she doesn't work here anymore. 178 00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:10,757 Well, where the fuck is she? 179 00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:13,134 I'll tell you what. 180 00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:16,388 Why don't you take your feet out of Clyde Tryksler's potatoes... 181 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:19,015 ...step down off of our state-funded lunch tables... 182 00:09:19,183 --> 00:09:22,644 ...and I will take you to see her myself. Is that fair? 183 00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:24,479 All right. 184 00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:28,316 Okay, people, sorry if I fucked up your lunch here. 185 00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:30,819 My bad. Stay in school. 186 00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:34,281 Fight the power. And don't do drugs. 187 00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:36,616 Unless, of course, you're doing them with me. Ha-ha-ha. 188 00:09:36,784 --> 00:09:39,744 - Never gonna turn down free drugs. - Not funny. Not a funny joke. 189 00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:42,163 - Come down. - It's school lunch. Who cares? 190 00:09:42,331 --> 00:09:44,958 Shit's like a buck 25. Get over it. Get out of the way. 191 00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:50,338 So this, uh... 192 00:09:50,506 --> 00:09:53,466 This Myrtle Beach thing, it's different from the one in Tampa? 193 00:09:53,634 --> 00:09:56,928 I have to say, on the surface it sounds remarkably similar. 194 00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:59,723 Dude, don't worry about my deals, all right? 195 00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:02,517 Don't understand why April's playing Flip This House. 196 00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:05,520 Everyone knows the bubble burst on that shit years ago. 197 00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,856 Well, she gave it a pretty good go after you left. 198 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:10,775 But I think her heart just really wasn't in teaching anymore. 199 00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:15,989 You know, there was a moment in time when I was in the pits and anus of Mexico. 200 00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:17,198 Where is that? 201 00:10:17,366 --> 00:10:19,534 - It's a town called Copales. - Okay. 202 00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:22,912 And while I was there, I thought for a brief moment... 203 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,165 ...that you two actually had gotten married. 204 00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,750 Oh, yeah, no. 205 00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:30,670 And I was thinking what a fucking stupid mistake that would've been for her. 206 00:10:30,838 --> 00:10:31,880 For...? Oh, for her. 207 00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:33,048 - Just terrible. - Uh-huh. 208 00:10:33,215 --> 00:10:37,218 Being that you kind of already had been there and then it was destroyed... 209 00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:39,304 - Yeah. ...and the real love was found. 210 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:42,015 And it would've been such a compromise to be with you. 211 00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:44,726 Yeah. It's kind of insulting, isn't it? 212 00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,394 Just a little bit? 213 00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:49,856 - It... I was... I'm destiny, Cutty. - Oh. Hmm. 214 00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:52,859 - This is a wonderful outfit... - Yep. 215 00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:55,153 ...you've put together here. - La Flama Blanca. 216 00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,030 - What is it? - La Flama Blanca. 217 00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:58,990 It's Spanish for "the White Flame." 218 00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:02,243 I was pitching pure, from the heart, so that's why I wore a suit... 219 00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:04,788 ...with white and silver flames on it. - Mm-hm. 220 00:11:04,955 --> 00:11:07,415 But now it all climaxes here. 221 00:11:08,584 --> 00:11:10,418 Crazy you're here to witness it. 222 00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:12,504 Who would've guessed? 223 00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,091 I don't know. 224 00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:19,594 - Watch as I win her back. - Okay. 225 00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:23,932 Hey, you know, there's actually one other thing you should know. 226 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,684 Uh... 227 00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:27,268 No, I'll let him find out. 228 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:30,438 Okay, so this is it. 229 00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:32,607 What do you guys think of the house? 230 00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:36,277 I don't know. Ever since my hysterectomy I swore I'd never get a place with stairs. 231 00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:38,863 I haven't done this as long as Jamie has... 232 00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:42,242 ...but this is the best floor plan that I have ever seen. 233 00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:45,036 Or we could show you the 1.5- Million place with an elevator. 234 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,085 April? 235 00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:54,796 Your champion has returned to reclaim his love. 236 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:57,632 I stand before you as a man pure of heart. 237 00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,301 Oh, fuck, you're pregnant. 238 00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:03,388 - Oh, fuck me. Mm-hm. 239 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,473 What are you doing in here, Kenny? 240 00:12:06,016 --> 00:12:08,810 I came... I came back for you, just like I promised I would. 241 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:10,895 No, you didn't promise anything like that. 242 00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:14,482 Well, I came to mend things. Oh, my God. Holy shit! 243 00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:16,526 - We could come back. - No, you don't have to. 244 00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:19,237 - Who's the fucking dad? - Well, hello, Jamie. 245 00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:21,823 - What's up, stalker? - Oh, I'm the stalker? 246 00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,283 - Yeah. - Who is this guy? 247 00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:26,536 Oh, Jamie? Jamie is the smooth-talking black gentleman... 248 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:29,914 ...who lured April away from the noble craft of teaching. 249 00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:32,041 - He did not lure me. - Yes, he did. 250 00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:33,293 No, he did not, Cutler. 251 00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:36,004 With promises of high commissions and big percentages. 252 00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,714 Just stop. Please, just stop. 253 00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:39,924 I think I've fucking figured it out here. 254 00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:43,178 You being all coy. Him being all damn touchy-feely. 255 00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:47,182 I knew things had probably gotten dark. I never imagined shit had gotten this dark. 256 00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:49,768 - What's that supposed to mean? - You do the math, buddy. 257 00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:53,521 I've been through goddamn thick and thin, hell and fucking high water. 258 00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:56,399 I come back to find you've made your bed with another man. 259 00:12:56,567 --> 00:13:00,278 Who the fuck do you think you are? Honestly? 260 00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:02,614 Get out. 261 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,699 Stay away from me. 262 00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:10,830 Because I never, ever wanna see your face ever again. 263 00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:13,666 Do you just not wanna see me today? 264 00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:15,543 - Just wanna cool down...? - No, ever. 265 00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:20,673 Get out. 266 00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:24,552 Well, I wouldn't wanna ruin a sale, huh? 267 00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:27,472 Guess you guys gotta make those commissions... 268 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,350 ...be able to buy all the goddamn FUBU... 269 00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:33,228 ...and OshKosh B'gosh and shit the baby's gonna be wearing. 270 00:13:33,395 --> 00:13:35,355 Hey, potential homebuyers... 271 00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:38,441 ...hope y'all know that a lot of rapes happened in this house. 272 00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:41,569 - Get out! - I hope you disclosed that, April. 273 00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:45,240 Get out of here. 274 00:13:48,869 --> 00:13:52,121 There were no rapes here, as far as I know. 275 00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:25,029 - Yeah. - Goddamn. 276 00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:28,408 I'll admit, Clegg, I didn't think I was gonna be seeing you again. 277 00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:31,452 But it's nice to know that whenever I hit rock bottom... 278 00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:35,123 ...you'll always be here, waiting with a big old line of cocaine. 279 00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,458 - How was rehab? - Great. 280 00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:42,505 Bunch of hottie heroin junkies running around. 281 00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:45,717 Once you get rid of that needle, they go straight for the dick. 282 00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:48,970 Yeah, they got a few of them pretty girls down in Mexico. Heh. 283 00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:50,388 Temptresses. 284 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:53,141 Little Spanish caramel fucking sirens. 285 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:55,643 I was trying to save myself, keep pure for April. 286 00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:57,520 Then I get back here... 287 00:14:57,688 --> 00:15:01,232 ...turns out she didn't have the same fucking agenda as me. 288 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,775 She's pregnant... 289 00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:04,694 ...with a black man's baby. 290 00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:10,909 But you were fucking some other people, right? 291 00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,535 Yeah. I basically fucked like... 292 00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:15,330 ...almost a whole entire village full of Mexican women. 293 00:15:15,497 --> 00:15:17,916 I'll be damned. Kenny fucking Powers. 294 00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:20,001 Whoo! Look who's back in town. 295 00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:23,254 Last time I saw you, I think I had a yeast infection. 296 00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:25,840 I'm all cleared up now. Ha, ha. You miss me? 297 00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:27,508 They got girls like me in Tampa? 298 00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:30,720 Ha. Yeah, I'm sure they got sluts in Tampa. 299 00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:32,722 But I didn't go there, wet puss. 300 00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:37,769 I went to Mexico on an epic spiritual quest that ended in failure. 301 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:41,022 Wait, whoa. You still got Myrtle Beach coming up. 302 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:44,400 Doesn't matter, Clegg. The Pavilion's closed... 303 00:15:44,568 --> 00:15:46,653 ...and Myrtle Beach ain't what it used to be. 304 00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:48,404 Why are you dressed as Boss Hogg? 305 00:15:48,572 --> 00:15:50,823 I'm not dressed like Boss Hogg, you dumb bitch. 306 00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:53,117 I'm dressed like pure. 307 00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:54,786 Just, why don't you go fuck off? 308 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:57,163 Don't you got somebody you gotta give AIDS to? 309 00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,414 Fucking retard. 310 00:15:58,582 --> 00:16:00,959 So anyway, I'm thinking... 311 00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:02,919 ...if you're not doing anything this summer... 312 00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:05,338 ...we get on the road and go hit some dates. 313 00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:07,674 Some JB and the Boys, Keller, fucking Gov't Mule. 314 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:13,054 Hit the Southwestern leg, maybe get into some Psycho Toads. 315 00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:14,681 That sound like a good idea? 316 00:16:14,848 --> 00:16:16,891 Is this fucking Seger? 317 00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,851 It's definitely Seger. 318 00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:21,396 Aw, Jesus Christ. 319 00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:24,774 I gotta get out of here. I need to get some fucking air, dude. 320 00:16:24,942 --> 00:16:26,401 All right. 321 00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:30,029 Is it the blow? This is pretty cheap shit. 322 00:16:35,911 --> 00:16:37,245 Come here. 323 00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:41,749 Excuse me. Can't listen to any romantical shit now. 324 00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:45,211 - We were listening to that. - Not anymore. 325 00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,005 Kenny, have you been crying? 326 00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:49,841 - What's the matter? - I'm not crying. It's just lake water. 327 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,426 What is the matter with you? 328 00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:54,429 Well, since you asked, April's what's the matter. 329 00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:58,266 - Oh, so you've, uh, talked to her then? - I tried to talk to her. 330 00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:01,728 But all she cares about talking about is her new goddamn business partner... 331 00:17:01,895 --> 00:17:04,105 ...and her unborn multicultural baby. 332 00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:05,940 - April's pregnant? - Big news. 333 00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:08,109 Heck, that's... Good for her, yeah. 334 00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:11,195 What are y'all talking about? That's not good for her. 335 00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:13,948 That's fucking bad for her. It's even worse for me. 336 00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:15,533 Kenny, come on, man. 337 00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:18,786 You think Mom should've waited all those years for Dad to come back? 338 00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:20,455 Oh, come on. Give me a fucking break. 339 00:17:20,622 --> 00:17:23,583 Don't act like you're the goddamn expert of father. 340 00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:26,127 Well, okay. Have you thought of maybe just... 341 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:29,338 ...saying sorry to April and then start from there? 342 00:17:29,506 --> 00:17:31,090 I cannot do that. It's negatory. 343 00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:33,634 It should be her who's fucking apologizing to me. 344 00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:36,054 I still don't understand why she would do this. 345 00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:39,557 Well, I don't know, maybe because you left her at a fucking gas station. 346 00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:44,145 Look, Kenny, if you really wanna do right by April then leave her alone. 347 00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:46,564 Let her have her own life and get on with yours. 348 00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:49,484 Go to Myrtle. Go and be a baseball player. 349 00:17:49,651 --> 00:17:51,986 That's what you've been chasing your whole life. 350 00:17:54,656 --> 00:17:56,240 Maybe you're right, Dustin. 351 00:17:57,451 --> 00:18:02,955 Guess I should just go be a cold, calculated killing machine on the mound. 352 00:18:03,832 --> 00:18:06,751 Just striking out idiots joylessly... 353 00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:09,045 ...just going through the motions... 354 00:18:09,713 --> 00:18:12,548 ...because no one loves me and my heart is dead. 355 00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:18,679 As they say in Mexico, buenas noches. 356 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,044 Maria? Maria? 357 00:19:32,212 --> 00:19:35,256 How long are your cousins planning on staying here? 358 00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:44,724 Don't mind me. It's just my fucking house. 359 00:19:44,892 --> 00:19:47,351 I'll get the fucking door. 360 00:19:49,062 --> 00:19:51,272 - What's up? - Oh, thank God. 361 00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:55,526 Listen, Maria's cousins came over about an hour after we got here... 362 00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:57,445 ...and I don't think they're leaving. 363 00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:59,864 Well, then just get ahold of yourself, all right? 364 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:02,283 Because I came here to bid you farewell, Stevie. 365 00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:06,037 I'm starting a new life today, one where I'm gonna be alone. 366 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:07,788 No. I'm fucking coming with you. 367 00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:09,916 Let's bolt. I'm not even gonna say goodbye. 368 00:20:10,083 --> 00:20:12,293 You can't. You need to stay here with Maria. 369 00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:13,920 Listen, I think I made a mistake. 370 00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:15,713 No, you didn't make a mistake, man. 371 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:18,966 This is the pangs and curiosities of love. 372 00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:22,303 Always second-guessing yourself, but knowing at the core... 373 00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:25,056 ...it's the right thing to do. You can't run from that. 374 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:29,727 Kenny, I literally cannot even talk to her because she speaks another language. 375 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:32,980 It does not matter. Love is the international language. 376 00:20:33,148 --> 00:20:34,774 She has all her cousins in there. 377 00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:37,485 I feel like I'm being strangled by, like... 378 00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:40,988 ...a bunch of Mexicans on a necklace just trying to... 379 00:20:41,156 --> 00:20:43,157 - That's love, dude. - That's love? 380 00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:45,993 Let it take hold and rip out every last breath you have. 381 00:20:46,161 --> 00:20:47,828 Just trust me. 382 00:20:48,163 --> 00:20:50,831 It's better to be strangled by a necklace of Mexicans... 383 00:20:50,999 --> 00:20:53,417 ...than to be strangled by no one at all. 384 00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:59,840 - Hola, Kenny. - Hola, Maria. 385 00:21:00,842 --> 00:21:02,176 That's a nice T-shirt. 386 00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:05,263 Because it's true. 387 00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:09,684 "Love is the best gift ever." 388 00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:14,021 Listen. I have one final favor I need to ask the both of you. 389 00:21:14,898 --> 00:21:16,440 What is it? 390 00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:20,861 It's your book. 391 00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:22,863 You finally finished it? 392 00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:24,824 You know what to do with this. 393 00:21:27,327 --> 00:21:28,786 Do you know what to do with that? 394 00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:31,038 I think I know what to do with this. 395 00:21:31,206 --> 00:21:34,375 So you don't ruin it, what are you gonna do with it? 396 00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:37,044 I'm going to listen to it? 397 00:21:37,212 --> 00:21:38,754 You're already wrong. You're going... 398 00:21:38,922 --> 00:21:40,881 - To give it to April. - To April. 399 00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:43,884 This is truth. 400 00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:46,053 You live by that. 401 00:21:46,221 --> 00:21:47,930 You die by that. 402 00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:49,890 Then you'll have a happy marriage. 403 00:21:51,601 --> 00:21:53,894 Adiós, you two crazy lovers. 404 00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:00,901 Okay, thank you guys for coming. 405 00:22:01,069 --> 00:22:04,697 Y'all have my card if you need anything. 406 00:22:04,865 --> 00:22:09,910 And that list price is just a start. Our sellers are very motivated. Very. 407 00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:14,206 Hi. Heh. 408 00:22:14,374 --> 00:22:16,709 Are you here for the open house? 409 00:22:16,877 --> 00:22:18,169 Tits grande? 410 00:22:20,088 --> 00:22:21,797 Yes? 411 00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:23,591 For you. 412 00:23:06,176 --> 00:23:08,302 Chapter one continued. 413 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:11,472 More of what I was just saying. 414 00:23:11,890 --> 00:23:16,477 Never in a million years did I imagine myself being in Mexico. 415 00:23:16,645 --> 00:23:19,230 After all, who would? 416 00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:22,149 Most Mexicans spend their day just trying to get out. 417 00:23:22,317 --> 00:23:26,654 So you can hardly blame foreigners like myself for not thinking about getting in. 418 00:23:27,072 --> 00:23:30,533 Oddly enough, the people here aren't that different from ones back home... 419 00:23:30,700 --> 00:23:33,244 ...when you get past the lack of interest in real sports... 420 00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:36,497 ...and the need to have yellow rice at every fucking meal. 421 00:23:37,666 --> 00:23:40,751 Can't help but notice how much they stick together too. 422 00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:43,087 When you see Mexicans in the States you think: 423 00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:46,590 "Oh, there's a group of Mexicans doing Mexican things together." 424 00:23:46,842 --> 00:23:51,011 But here you see it's not just because they talk the same language and are all Catholic. 425 00:23:51,179 --> 00:23:52,638 Family means a lot to these people. 426 00:23:52,806 --> 00:23:56,934 Relationships, husbands, wives, parents, all that shit. 427 00:23:57,811 --> 00:24:00,312 Reminds me of why I'm here in the first place. 428 00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:03,023 The quest is nothing if you got no one to brag about it to. 429 00:24:03,191 --> 00:24:06,360 You'll never reach the end if you're only doing it for yourself. 430 00:24:06,778 --> 00:24:11,323 Me, I'm doing it for a girl I had to leave behind just to get this far. 431 00:24:11,867 --> 00:24:14,910 Now I gotta go a little further to get back to her. 432 00:24:15,537 --> 00:24:18,664 All I can do is hope that one day she'll understand... 433 00:24:18,832 --> 00:24:22,209 ...and when that day comes it's not too late. 434 00:24:26,173 --> 00:24:29,758 Chapter Nothing: The Fucking Epilogue. 435 00:24:31,344 --> 00:24:33,387 You're really leaving already? 436 00:24:33,555 --> 00:24:35,097 Yes, I am, Wayne. 437 00:24:35,265 --> 00:24:39,185 There's absolutely nothing for me here in Shelby, so I'm out. 438 00:24:40,061 --> 00:24:44,315 Well, I can't believe it, but I think he's actually leaving. 439 00:24:44,483 --> 00:24:46,150 Really? 440 00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:47,526 - Yeah. - Damn. 441 00:24:47,903 --> 00:24:50,821 - How far away is Myrtle Beach? - About four hours. 442 00:24:50,989 --> 00:24:53,073 Ooh, can you get us fireworks? 443 00:24:53,241 --> 00:24:55,951 Not if you don't clean up this goddamn Jet Ski so I can go. 444 00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:57,328 Come on, get back to it. 445 00:24:57,496 --> 00:25:00,915 I can't go to Myrtle Beach with the most disgusting Jet Ski ever seen. 446 00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:11,592 - Hey. - Hey. 447 00:25:12,260 --> 00:25:14,053 I listened to your tapes. 448 00:25:14,221 --> 00:25:16,388 Oh, you read my book? 449 00:25:17,098 --> 00:25:19,391 I appreciate how honest you were in it. 450 00:25:19,559 --> 00:25:23,270 Yeah, well, I took some artistic license with some things. Like the Vida parts. 451 00:25:23,438 --> 00:25:27,525 - I really only fucked her a handful of times. - It's okay. It's okay. 452 00:25:27,692 --> 00:25:30,986 But all the parts about doing everything for you... 453 00:25:31,154 --> 00:25:32,530 ...that stuff was true. 454 00:25:33,865 --> 00:25:36,283 Kenny, I have something to tell you. 455 00:25:36,451 --> 00:25:38,702 Yeah, I have something to tell you too. 456 00:25:38,870 --> 00:25:40,120 I'm sorry, April. 457 00:25:41,289 --> 00:25:42,915 I learned a lot down in Mexico. 458 00:25:43,875 --> 00:25:48,462 I learned that sometimes, to be the man, you gotta beat the man. 459 00:25:48,630 --> 00:25:51,298 I learned the grass is not always greener. 460 00:25:51,466 --> 00:25:55,219 I learned that adversity's sweet milk is philosophy, April. 461 00:25:55,387 --> 00:25:56,637 The baby's yours. 462 00:26:03,645 --> 00:26:06,647 I don't need anything from you, I don't expect anything from you. 463 00:26:06,815 --> 00:26:08,524 I just wanted you to know. 464 00:26:08,692 --> 00:26:14,905 It's taken me some time to accept the situation and be happy... 465 00:26:15,073 --> 00:26:17,825 ...but I am. 466 00:26:19,661 --> 00:26:24,832 I'm excited to be a mama, Kenny. 467 00:26:28,503 --> 00:26:30,254 Are you gonna say something or? 468 00:26:35,677 --> 00:26:37,428 You're not making sense. 469 00:26:39,514 --> 00:26:41,515 You know, just process everything. 470 00:26:41,683 --> 00:26:42,850 - Of course. - You know. 471 00:26:43,018 --> 00:26:46,437 I was actually planning on splitting out of town to go to Myrtle Beach. 472 00:26:46,605 --> 00:26:49,440 - Got a job just pitching down there. - Okay, of course. 473 00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:52,860 Yeah, of course you need time to process this. 474 00:26:53,028 --> 00:26:55,738 And, um, that's okay. 475 00:26:55,905 --> 00:26:58,365 - That's okay. - Okay. 476 00:27:01,953 --> 00:27:03,495 April? 477 00:27:06,666 --> 00:27:10,502 You know, I don't have to leave right now. 478 00:27:11,171 --> 00:27:12,379 You know, there's this, uh... 479 00:27:12,547 --> 00:27:15,215 A really cool Mexican place down the road. 480 00:27:15,383 --> 00:27:18,010 Has really awesome food, but the decor is kind of shitty. 481 00:27:18,178 --> 00:27:21,513 It's kind of like Mexico itself, heh. 482 00:27:22,182 --> 00:27:24,642 Kenny, I'm gonna need you to know... 483 00:27:24,809 --> 00:27:27,811 ...that I'm not interested in being in love with you anymore. 484 00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:32,983 I get that. 485 00:27:33,777 --> 00:27:35,152 But I've... 486 00:27:35,612 --> 00:27:37,863 I've just come a long way. 487 00:27:38,365 --> 00:27:42,076 And I'd just like a chance to catch up with you. 488 00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:49,083 Okay. 489 00:27:50,377 --> 00:27:51,752 Okay? 490 00:27:53,588 --> 00:27:57,007 All right, cool. Well, how about I drive? 491 00:27:57,175 --> 00:27:59,426 - I'll follow you. - You'll...? 492 00:27:59,594 --> 00:28:01,553 I see why you'd be wary of riding with me. 493 00:28:01,721 --> 00:28:03,597 - Right. - That's understandable. Okay. 494 00:28:03,765 --> 00:28:05,849 So we'll just meet there? 495 00:28:06,017 --> 00:28:09,228 - I'll meet you there. Okay. - Meet there. Okay. 496 00:28:11,690 --> 00:28:13,774 It's not the black guy's kid. It's mine. 497 00:28:19,864 --> 00:28:21,740 Guys, come on, scram. 498 00:28:22,117 --> 00:28:25,119 Jet Ski's clean. Get the fuck out of there.