1 00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:22,438 Damn. 2 00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:24,732 All right, we gotta get an official word here. 3 00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:26,608 Amy's been eliminated? 4 00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:31,447 Ladies and gentlemen, Amy has been eliminated. 5 00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:37,453 We are down to Honey Moore, 37D-25-30... 6 00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:42,541 - Oh, gosh. - Hey, April. What are you doing? 7 00:00:46,796 --> 00:00:49,631 - How does this feel? - It feels good. 8 00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:52,593 Did you come yet? 9 00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:55,679 - I was going to, but, uh... - Yeah? 10 00:00:56,556 --> 00:01:00,476 I thought you did before, you know, and then... 11 00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:04,396 Should I keep going? 12 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:06,482 Do you want to keep going? 13 00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:10,444 Oh, yeah, I... Yeah, I... You know I always want to. 14 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,362 I'm okay if you want to take a break. 15 00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:15,324 I'm hard, so... I didn't know if we should come back to this. 16 00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,576 - That works. - Yeah. 17 00:01:18,369 --> 00:01:21,080 - Well, let's take a break. - Okay. 18 00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:23,499 So I'm gonna give it a couple more pumps and then... 19 00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:27,586 - Okay. - So three, two, one. 20 00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:37,596 - Nice. That's great. - Thank you. 21 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:40,599 How you do this? Just, like, a VCR and, like, your camcorder? 22 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:43,435 No, no. See, I have a system on my computer. 23 00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:47,231 It's a non-linear digital software, and it's got all these great fades... 24 00:01:47,398 --> 00:01:50,526 ...and wipes and you see I can add... - Yeah, I get it, computers. 25 00:01:50,693 --> 00:01:53,278 I am really proud of this. And I'm proud of you too. 26 00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:56,532 - Sober and ready... - Sober, ready, okay, this is good. 27 00:01:57,075 --> 00:02:00,744 You know what? I want this by Monday on the desk... 28 00:02:00,995 --> 00:02:04,164 ...of every single pro scout in the Southeast, all right? 29 00:02:04,332 --> 00:02:07,251 Fuck the West up the butt hole, they get nothing. 30 00:02:07,418 --> 00:02:10,212 You could do some shots of you, like, smoking weed. 31 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,381 Clegg, this is to get back into the majors. 32 00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:14,550 Me sitting around smoking weed is awesome... 33 00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:18,137 ...but it's not gonna be what a team manager is gonna be looking for. 34 00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:19,721 They don't have to know it's weed. 35 00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:21,723 Then what the fuck would you do it for? 36 00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:25,227 - Or it could be like a... - No, you want to see animal sounds... 37 00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:29,731 ...throwing the ball, a dude cutting trees like he's a force to be reckoned with. 38 00:02:30,024 --> 00:02:31,984 Shouldn't you show more, like...? 39 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,444 Since you're trying to get your pitching job back... 40 00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:37,406 ...more of you pitching? - There was a pitch shot in there. 41 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:40,159 There was the one where the ball blew up in the hand. 42 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:41,535 That's showing the pitching. 43 00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,829 Right here, this is my favorite part. 44 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:50,252 "Powers is coming back fucking soon." 45 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:54,756 You bet. 46 00:02:56,843 --> 00:03:00,971 That is good. That's real good. Clegg, you got my shit? 47 00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:03,182 Oh, yeah. 48 00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:10,230 Why is it in a Ziploc bag? Are these mushrooms? 49 00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:12,441 Clegg, I'm talking about fucking steroids. 50 00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,109 My bad. 51 00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:01,782 God. Fuck. 52 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:05,035 Stevie, goddamn it, eyes are going AWOL, man. 53 00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:07,329 The kid in the striped shirt, he's staring at me. 54 00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:12,501 Hey, loser! Eyes fucking down! Have some respect for Coach Powers! 55 00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:15,128 Gosh, you're all making me so mad! 56 00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:20,008 What are you laughing at, Sarah? What are you laughing at? 57 00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:24,388 I have tried to be your friend, but you will not listen to me... 58 00:04:24,555 --> 00:04:27,391 ...so you invited this monster. 59 00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:29,768 - Don't make me kill somebody! - Thank you. 60 00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:33,522 Mr. Janowski, what an interesting speech. 61 00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:37,609 What's going on out here? You gentlemen teaching a joint class out here or? 62 00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:39,736 What kind of a thing are we doing here? 63 00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:42,030 Uh... Well... 64 00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:43,365 May I point something out to you? 65 00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:45,701 Your band class appears to be missing their instruments. 66 00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:49,079 We're teaching them the curveball. I don't see what the big deal is. 67 00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:51,540 Oh, no, that's a perfect thing for you to be sharing... 68 00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,417 ...with your physical-education class. 69 00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:54,751 That makes perfect sense. 70 00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:58,297 My concern is over here. I guess I just don't really understand... 71 00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:01,258 ...where Mr. Janowski's class needs to be out here right now. 72 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,927 You don't have to understand my class. It's my class. 73 00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:06,680 - Okay. Settle down, Mr. Janowski. - It's my class. 74 00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:09,057 It wasn't my idea to make music a requirement. 75 00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:11,560 This stuff is classic private conversation stuff. 76 00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:15,522 Relax. Kenny's not going anywhere. You can see your friend after school. 77 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:19,401 Whoa, whoa, what the hell does that mean? "Kenny's not going anywhere." 78 00:05:19,777 --> 00:05:23,113 Well, I'm sorry, did I miss it? Did the majors call today? 79 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,575 I'm busting your chops, fella. 80 00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:29,244 Come on. Lighten up a little bit, will you? 81 00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:31,330 - That's not funny. - It's pretty funny. 82 00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:34,082 All right, Mr. Janowski, please, get your class inside. 83 00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:36,001 - Now? - Yes, right now. 84 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:39,421 Fine. Everybody inside. Everybody inside. 85 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,757 - Very good. - I don't tell you how to principal... 86 00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:44,551 ...I don't think you should tell me how to teach band. 87 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:48,430 You clearly don't understand the employer-employee relationship. 88 00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:52,517 I guess I'm starting to and I don't like it. I'll see you later, Kenny. 89 00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:55,771 I'm concerned about him sometimes. I don't know if it's a great idea... 90 00:05:56,105 --> 00:05:58,440 ...for you to be spending so much time with Mr. Janowski. 91 00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:02,110 Are we done here? Because I'm ready to get back to educating. 92 00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:04,988 I wonder if it might be better if they could see you. 93 00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:06,656 This is perfectly fine for the lesson, so... 94 00:06:06,949 --> 00:06:08,158 Okay. 95 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:10,202 I know you don't like to be observed. 96 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,746 Hey, but you're coming to the barbecue, aren't you? 97 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:14,081 - Barbecue? - Yeah. 98 00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:17,209 This weekend at my house. You don't know about this? 99 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:21,046 April and I are having some friends over. It's gonna be casual, nothing crazy. 100 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,215 You know, probably play some Pictionary... 101 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:24,966 ...or something like that, you know? 102 00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:27,135 Gosh. Yeah, it's gonna be a real good party. 103 00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:29,304 I'm getting excited the more I talk about it. 104 00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:31,473 April didn't tell you? I told her to tell you. 105 00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:35,394 No, she didn't tell me. Must have slipped her mind. 106 00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:41,149 I really like the hues. Orange and red for the sunshine. 107 00:06:41,317 --> 00:06:44,569 - It gives the contrast of a nice blue sky. - Beat it, Kyle. 108 00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:46,071 Oh, no, that's it. 109 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:49,408 See? Exactly. That's what I'm talking about. 110 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:54,329 Okay, now trace just along the line. That's why we use a pencil. 111 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,708 - Okay, go on. - Oh, hey, Coach Powers. 112 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,752 What's up, Deshauna? 113 00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:04,589 - Can I help you, Kenny? - I don't know, can you? 114 00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:07,968 Why don't you start by trying to tell me what you were supposed to? 115 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:11,096 Are you sure this isn't something that can maybe wait till later? 116 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:15,183 For what? So that you can just not say the thing you're supposed to tell me? 117 00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,602 What are you talking about? 118 00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:20,689 BBQ, your house. You didn't invite me. 119 00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:24,109 - Oh. - Yeah, "Oh." 120 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:27,195 Okay, well, I'm sorry. 121 00:07:27,363 --> 00:07:29,364 I forgot. 122 00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:33,201 You're invited. It's on Saturday. 123 00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:35,203 Come if you feel you need to. 124 00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:38,457 I already was invited, by your new boyfriend. 125 00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:41,042 And I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told him: 126 00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:45,714 I ain't going. You can keep your stupid invitation. I got better shit on my tray. 127 00:07:46,048 --> 00:07:50,260 I just came down here to let you know that I know you're backstabbing me... 128 00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:52,721 ...and that is super fucked up. 129 00:07:57,768 --> 00:07:59,019 He was just kidding. 130 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,249 I mean, seriously, how dare her. 131 00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:24,544 So she forgot to invite you. Why would you want to go anyway? 132 00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:26,213 Seems like it would be awkward. 133 00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:29,549 No, it's not about it being awkward, it's about testing the waters... 134 00:08:29,717 --> 00:08:32,219 ...and seeing if there's a chance for us to go at it. 135 00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:35,388 She's not giving herself the opportunity to see if this would work. 136 00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:38,099 You know, maybe she already knows it's not gonna work. 137 00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:41,478 - She's getting married to someone else. - No, she doesn't know shit. 138 00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:45,398 Sitting here, waving around her cervix like it's the hottest ticket in town. 139 00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:46,691 Stupid cookout. 140 00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:50,237 As if their fucking cookout is any sort of big thing. 141 00:08:50,404 --> 00:08:53,448 Dumb. You should see my fucking cookouts, man. 142 00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:55,075 When I was back in Seattle... 143 00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:58,620 ...I had the goddamn Spoonman from the Soundgarden videos coming to my shit. 144 00:08:58,788 --> 00:08:59,955 - No way. - Oh, yeah. 145 00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:04,417 I'm talking six grills burning at all times. Tiki torches, three whole pigs... 146 00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:07,712 ...fucking shitloads of macaroni and cheeses, baked potatoes... 147 00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:09,464 ...collard greens, a horse... 148 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:13,260 ...fucking Puerto Rican chicks showing their pussies and tits off everywhere. 149 00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:16,721 - They were amazing. - That sounds like a hell of a cookout. 150 00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:18,974 Yeah, you bet your ass they were. 151 00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:22,561 My cookouts smoke her stupid little dumb backyard... 152 00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:25,647 ...principal-having cookout shit. 153 00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:53,425 - Are you ready? - No, I'm not ready. What did I tell you? 154 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,010 I said put something nice on. 155 00:09:55,177 --> 00:09:57,554 You look like a busted Daytona stripper in that shit. 156 00:09:57,722 --> 00:10:00,015 Fuck you, this is my evening wear. 157 00:10:00,182 --> 00:10:02,726 I don't want no pussy-getting-wet dresses for this cookout. 158 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:07,480 This needs to be a normal evening outfit that regular people would wear. 159 00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:11,151 I'm walking into a fucking hornet's nest, all right? Now, be my companion. 160 00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:13,820 I need you to make me help them be jealous of me. 161 00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:17,449 I know you're not a natural beauty, but with the right clothes and look... 162 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,535 ...you could be very striking. - And what the fuck do you know? 163 00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:24,289 Oh, what do I know? I know that one of us had their own personal stylist... 164 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:28,084 ...and one of us shoplifts their shit from Fashion Bug. That's what I know. 165 00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:31,671 - Now, what else you got? - Hold on. 166 00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:33,590 Christ almighty. 167 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:38,178 Okay, this... This you're gonna like. We got this... 168 00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:40,680 Honey, I love you, I think you're a terrific girl... 169 00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:43,308 ...but you have clothes like a fucking dickhead. 170 00:10:59,241 --> 00:11:00,283 Hey. 171 00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:04,454 Hey, Stevie. Glad you made it. 172 00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:06,956 Hey, I would not miss a party. 173 00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:10,251 - I brought eggs. - Oh, great. 174 00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:12,420 Thank you. 175 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,422 Now, did you come alone or? 176 00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:19,260 Yeah, I... I thought it was just gonna be VIPs, but it... 177 00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:23,098 It's not VIPs. You could have brought somebody if you wanted to. 178 00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:26,267 I was wondering, who are some of these motherfuckers at this party? 179 00:11:26,435 --> 00:11:28,978 I don't recognize a lot of them. 180 00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:33,066 Well, Stevie, these motherfuckers are the church group. 181 00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:35,443 - Hm. The church group. - Yeah. 182 00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:38,446 The church group, our Wednesday night fellowship group. 183 00:11:38,614 --> 00:11:41,491 Also, the school people that you will know, everybody. 184 00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:45,453 You're not gonna know Cutler's triathlon people. 185 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:48,248 Oh. Well, that's okay. 186 00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:51,126 Kenny will be here and he likes to hang out with me, so... 187 00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:52,794 Kenny's coming? 188 00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:55,088 Just come on. Just walk. Come on. 189 00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:59,217 Oh, well, look at this. Kenny Powers, you made it. Wow. 190 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,761 And who is this lovely lady that you've got with you? 191 00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:04,681 - Lovely? Her? - Don't be so fucking rude. 192 00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:06,641 Cutler, this is Tracey. Tracey, Cutler. 193 00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:08,059 Hi, how are you? 194 00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,978 He's my boss, so don't try to suck him off. 195 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:13,064 Come on. Just call me Terrence, okay? 196 00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:16,443 Hey, look, I'm making my famous pumpkin margarita as an honor of fall. 197 00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:19,028 What do you say, should we dive in? Have some fun? 198 00:12:19,196 --> 00:12:21,072 - Let's do this shit. - Let's have some fun. 199 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,783 You look like you're ready to have fun. Ha-ha-ha. 200 00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:29,080 Yo, Kenny, this party fucking sucks, man. 201 00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:33,209 Tell me about it. For a minute I thought I'd have to face these jackals alone. 202 00:12:33,377 --> 00:12:35,170 You and me are the only cool people here. 203 00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:37,297 Everybody here is just a bunch of posers... 204 00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:41,176 ...and ho's and shitheads. 205 00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:43,303 You seen April? 206 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:46,139 She's over there with those fucking bitches. 207 00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:51,019 Look at her. Flaunting her fancy fucking friends around... 208 00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:54,230 ...trying to make me jealous. Pathetic. 209 00:12:54,398 --> 00:12:56,107 Hey, Kenny, I got an idea. 210 00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:58,443 Let's take this party to phase two. 211 00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:01,529 Cutler's got a plasma inside. 212 00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:05,533 Let's have a big-ass fucking screening up in this shit right here, huh? 213 00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:07,410 I think that's cool as shit. 214 00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:11,039 Do it so it doesn't look like it was my idea. Push it hard. 215 00:13:11,373 --> 00:13:12,707 Sounds good. 216 00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,168 What the fuck are you wearing? 217 00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:20,715 All black, man. So I can express my rage. 218 00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:23,009 I'm wearing all black. 219 00:13:24,386 --> 00:13:27,222 Yeah, it's a coincidence. It's pretty cool. 220 00:13:27,389 --> 00:13:30,391 I don't like it. Find a way to change yourself from me. 221 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:33,812 Change myself? These are the only clothes I got. 222 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,397 That's not my problem. 223 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:42,237 - I shaved my beard. - That was a big change for you. 224 00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:43,446 - Fucking retard. - It was. 225 00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:45,406 Act... Fucking act straight. 226 00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:48,034 Hot cayenne pepper. I've lost a few pounds... 227 00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:51,412 - Shh. Shh. - You lose a few pounds... 228 00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:53,581 - Decent cookout, April. - Yeah. 229 00:13:53,749 --> 00:13:56,584 I don't believe you've met my fuck buddy, Tracey. 230 00:13:56,752 --> 00:13:59,003 She's actually a professional runway model. 231 00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:03,258 She's also a very, very famous painter in France. 232 00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:07,053 Yep, she has several works of fine art hanging up in the "Louvre." 233 00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:10,139 - Didn't we go to middle school together? - No, that's impossible. 234 00:14:10,307 --> 00:14:12,267 She went to middle school inside of France. 235 00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:14,561 Excuse me, can I have everybody's attention? 236 00:14:14,728 --> 00:14:18,273 I just want to let you know that there's going to be a special screening... 237 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:21,192 ...inside, around the TV, in ten minutes. 238 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,737 So you can bring your drinks in ten minutes for the screening. 239 00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:28,032 - Thank you. - Okay, why is Stevie naked? 240 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,284 He's half-naked. 241 00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:31,619 I think he must just be having a really good time. 242 00:14:31,787 --> 00:14:35,248 I wonder what this screening could be, though. That sounds entertaining. 243 00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:38,251 Hello, everybody, and welcome. 244 00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:42,797 You are about to see the most exciting promotional video... 245 00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:46,467 ...that you have ever seen in your life. - Uh-oh, what's this? 246 00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:49,053 Conan the Destroyer or Hunt for Red October? 247 00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:50,763 It's a good movie I put on. 248 00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:53,600 Stevie, these people don't wanna see this little show. 249 00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:55,310 I think they might. 250 00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:57,395 Shh. Shh. Shh. Let's watch this. 251 00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,480 Making the necessary adjustments. 252 00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:02,525 Massive popularity takes a lot of hard work. 253 00:15:03,193 --> 00:15:04,777 How do you know Kenny? 254 00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,362 You know, I met him at a bar. 255 00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:09,115 I used to watch him on TV, then I saw him at a bar... 256 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:12,201 ...and the next thing you know, I'm sucking his dick on a desk. 257 00:15:12,369 --> 00:15:15,496 Some people have a wall between their thoughts and their words. 258 00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:17,540 You don't have it. I'm enjoying it. 259 00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:20,501 So you're the principal, huh? 260 00:15:20,669 --> 00:15:23,338 Yup, that's me. 261 00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:26,215 - You ever spank anybody? - No, I can't do that. 262 00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:28,176 The school board frowns on that. 263 00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:31,596 Hey, you know what, though? I do have a paddle. I have a big... 264 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,056 This big wooden paddle. 265 00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:35,725 Can I see it? 266 00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:40,730 I'm a fan of big, hard wood. 267 00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,609 - Like that. - That didn't happen for real. 268 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,570 There was not really real fire explosions when I hit the bag. 269 00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:50,365 - Good effect. - We discovered through research... 270 00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:53,034 ...that technology is the way to the media's heart. 271 00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:54,202 You bet. 272 00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:56,663 - That's why I pieced all this together. - I don't get it. 273 00:15:56,830 --> 00:15:59,332 - Shh. Shh. - If you can call it that. 274 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,126 - Everyone just listen. Watch this. - No talking. 275 00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:05,421 Actions speak louder than words. 276 00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:08,216 - Where are you going? - I have to pee. 277 00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:11,219 Making the necessary adjustments. 278 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:15,390 Don't be crazy, don't be lazy. 279 00:16:15,557 --> 00:16:18,059 Hire Kenny Powers. 280 00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:30,780 - Boo. - What are you doing in my bedroom? 281 00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:34,117 You mean, besides creeping around in here like some kind of rapist? 282 00:16:34,284 --> 00:16:37,078 - Yeah. - I just want to talk to you for a second. 283 00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:40,248 Just... You know, I came here because this is your house... 284 00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:44,252 ...and I haven't even gotten a chance to score any solo time with you, so... 285 00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:47,714 Kenny, what are you doing in my bedroom? 286 00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:50,591 You know what I'm doing here. 287 00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,445 - Fuck me. - I want you. 288 00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:12,196 I want you. 289 00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:28,588 Oh, fuck, yeah. 290 00:17:30,966 --> 00:17:33,384 Oh, God. Oh, God, oh, God. 291 00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:39,015 Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. 292 00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:42,143 - We shouldn't do this. - Did you ejaculate? 293 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:45,646 No, this is moving too fast. I just got back into town and you're engaged. 294 00:17:45,814 --> 00:17:47,565 We shouldn't do this. 295 00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:49,984 - This is a mistake. - No, it's not a mistake. 296 00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:52,820 April, it's just that your feelings are on the line. 297 00:17:53,238 --> 00:18:05,291 Fuck. 298 00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:09,170 Pbbt. Oh, who did that? 299 00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:11,923 Whoo! Another round coming up. 300 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,300 Principal Cutler. I gotta tell you, sir... 301 00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:17,011 ...I am impressed. - Tracey, Tracey, Tracey. 302 00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:19,097 I'm gonna have to order you to slow down... 303 00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:21,265 ...because you are causing a scene right now. 304 00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:23,768 You know what? You're not the boss of me. 305 00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:25,978 No, I'm not your boss, but Kenny is... 306 00:18:26,146 --> 00:18:28,106 ...and I'm more important than you in Kenny's life. 307 00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:31,484 - That means I can tell you what to do. - Why don't you shut the fuck up? 308 00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:38,157 - Terrence? - Oh, no. Here comes the fun police. 309 00:18:38,325 --> 00:18:41,994 Put down your fun and stop having fun or you'll go to fun jail. 310 00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:43,621 What are you doing? 311 00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:46,707 I'm just entertaining some of our guests. We're just having fun. 312 00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:48,209 Is that a problem, cupcake? 313 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:50,711 Okay, you know what? I think that you've had enough. 314 00:18:51,046 --> 00:18:52,213 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 315 00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:55,133 Maybe you should, uh, shut the fuck up. 316 00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:58,302 - It's a party! Whoo! - Whoa! 317 00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:03,015 Damn it, Stevie, why the fuck did you let Tracey get drunk? 318 00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:05,518 - I am sorry, Kenny. I'm sorry. - You should be. 319 00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:07,895 Tracey, put your shirt on and get in the truck. 320 00:19:08,063 --> 00:19:11,566 - Why don't you shut the fuck up? - Hey, he said get in the truck, bitch. 321 00:19:11,733 --> 00:19:14,944 Get in the fucking truck. Get in the truck. 322 00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:20,741 - Get in the... - That's it. God. Calm down, that's it. 323 00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:24,453 Party's over. That's it. Party's over. It's not funny, Cutler. Party's done. 324 00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:26,914 - Party's over. - What's the matter, Mr. All Star? 325 00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:29,250 Having a hard time keeping your people together? 326 00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:32,044 You gotta get your retard crew in order. 327 00:19:32,212 --> 00:19:33,546 Don't mock me. 328 00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:37,425 Terrence, I think we need to call it a day before things get rude. 329 00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:39,468 It's a day. 330 00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,471 Hey, hey. Lower the tone, Cutler. 331 00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:45,766 - Seriously, dog. Take it down a notch. - Oh, okay. 332 00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:49,478 I'll take it down a notch, because the mighty Kenny Powers wants me to. 333 00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:53,107 I'll do whatever you say, K.P. At the bat. 334 00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:56,444 Take me out to the ball... Hey, get me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks. 335 00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:59,447 - You know what? That's it. - Get me some fucking peanuts. 336 00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:01,949 - Terrence, that is it. - Beer here. 337 00:20:02,117 --> 00:20:04,118 - Party's over. Sit down. - What's the matter? 338 00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:06,120 - Throw us a curveball. - You don't smoke. 339 00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:08,372 - I got your curveball right here. - Sit. 340 00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:11,083 I would punch you in your face if you weren't my boss. 341 00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:13,419 Yeah, well, I am your boss. 342 00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:17,048 You work for me now because you are jack shit now. 343 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,760 I'm not. 344 00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:23,804 Obviously he's just had too much to drink tonight. 345 00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:27,141 I don't know what he was trying to say. He's playing with his dick. 346 00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:28,559 Oh, my... 347 00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:31,604 He said you work for him now because you're jack shit. 348 00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:34,649 I know what he said. You don't have to fucking repeat it, all right? 349 00:20:34,816 --> 00:20:36,567 Ow! 350 00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:39,528 Goddamn it. 351 00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:47,536 I'm just gonna go ahead and go now. 352 00:21:44,052 --> 00:21:45,094 Yo! 353 00:21:46,221 --> 00:21:48,139 Hey! 354 00:22:07,576 --> 00:22:10,369 So in closing, I'd like to give big ups to God... 355 00:22:10,537 --> 00:22:12,580 ...Buddha, L. Ron, whoever. 356 00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:16,167 Hell, maybe I just need to thank me. If there's one thing I've learned... 357 00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:18,461 ...through all my adventures and conquests... 358 00:22:18,628 --> 00:22:21,047 ...it's that some people are wired for success. 359 00:22:21,214 --> 00:22:23,257 I had no choice when it came to being great. 360 00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:24,425 I just am great. 361 00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:27,136 And I'm not trying to sound cocky or full of myself... 362 00:22:27,304 --> 00:22:29,430 ...but Kenny Powers has a sneaking suspicion... 363 00:22:29,598 --> 00:22:32,975 ...that no matter what comes his way, he will always be great. 364 00:22:33,143 --> 00:22:36,312 Because that's just the way shit works sometimes. 365 00:22:36,813 --> 00:22:41,567 This has been based on a true story. The motherfucking end. 366 00:22:41,735 --> 00:22:43,027 You've reached the end of: 367 00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:47,615 You're Fucking Out, I'm Fucking In, read by Kenny Powers. 368 00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:09,011 I'm sad, Dustin. 369 00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:12,973 I'm super, super sad. 370 00:23:14,101 --> 00:23:16,268 Like, big-time sad. 371 00:23:18,146 --> 00:23:22,650 It's like, for the life of me, I can't catch a fucking break. 372 00:23:22,818 --> 00:23:26,487 I mean, at a certain point, I mean, what the fuck am I supposed to do? 373 00:23:27,489 --> 00:23:29,490 I don't know, man. 374 00:23:30,325 --> 00:23:32,993 I don't know what's going on, man. 375 00:23:33,161 --> 00:23:35,663 I'm just all jammed up inside. 376 00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:38,207 Lost my abilities. 377 00:23:38,375 --> 00:23:41,669 Been stripped of all my God-given talents. 378 00:23:42,295 --> 00:23:45,756 Including the talents to be able to have sex with any woman I choose... 379 00:23:46,049 --> 00:23:52,388 ...or to throw a fucking ball fast, or to not prematurely come in my pants. 380 00:23:54,057 --> 00:23:57,685 Sometimes I just don't even know which one hurts the most. 381 00:23:59,187 --> 00:24:01,355 I'm ashamed of myself. 382 00:24:01,523 --> 00:24:06,527 Well, sometimes you just gotta see what happens. 383 00:24:07,737 --> 00:24:09,697 Just be strong, man. 384 00:24:10,532 --> 00:24:13,701 I know, dude. I am strong. 385 00:24:14,327 --> 00:24:16,495 Just go back inside. 386 00:24:17,164 --> 00:24:19,623 - You sure? - Yes, Dustin, just go inside. 387 00:24:19,791 --> 00:24:22,168 If that's your only advice is to just be strong... 388 00:24:22,335 --> 00:24:25,129 ...Jesus Christ, I could talk to the fucking rock out here... 389 00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:28,090 ...it'd probably tell me something more useful than that. 390 00:24:28,383 --> 00:24:29,508 Are you crying, Kenny? 391 00:24:29,676 --> 00:24:31,218 I'm not crying, Dustin. 392 00:24:31,386 --> 00:24:35,222 It's just this stupid pollen, it's in my eyes and making them fucking water. 393 00:24:35,724 --> 00:24:38,559 Just go away from me, Dustin. 394 00:25:41,122 --> 00:25:44,375 Jesus, Kenny, what the hell's going on down there? 395 00:25:44,751 --> 00:25:46,418 Kenny!