1 00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:13,929 This sucks dick. 2 00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:15,806 I hate swimming. 3 00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:18,559 Oh, just shut up and give me a hand with this shit. 4 00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:20,019 What the hell are you doing? 5 00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:21,270 What does it look like? 6 00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:24,064 - I'm hiding the Jet Ski. - Why are you hiding the Jet Ski? 7 00:00:24,232 --> 00:00:27,276 Because I told Dustin... Look, I can't talk with you... 8 00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:29,445 ...with your tits hanging out like cabbages. 9 00:00:29,612 --> 00:00:31,613 - Just give me a hand with this. - Screw you. 10 00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:33,657 You threw me in the fucking lake, Kenny. 11 00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:34,992 Fine. 12 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,496 Now, I think your body is awesome. You got great tits. 13 00:00:39,664 --> 00:00:42,124 But I'm a little concerned about your bill of health. 14 00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:44,543 I insist upon you using some sort of protection. 15 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:47,171 Got a dental dam in the glove compartment of my truck. 16 00:00:47,338 --> 00:00:49,715 - You can grab that. - What the fuck's a dental dam? 17 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,718 A rubber for your mouth. It's not that big of a deal, okay? 18 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,345 And besides, it's not just for my protection. 19 00:00:55,513 --> 00:00:57,306 You don't know what shit I got either. 20 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,147 - Pakistani? Mm-hm. 21 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:07,733 - That's what he told me. - Whoa. 22 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,694 How does somebody manage to get ambushed on a Jet Ski? 23 00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:15,074 I don't know. I guess they jumped them and rode off with it. 24 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:16,658 Yeah, but I mean, it's a lake. 25 00:01:16,826 --> 00:01:19,369 There ain't exactly places to sneak up on somebody from. 26 00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:20,704 You'd need scuba gear. 27 00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:23,791 - I don't know, Dustin. - Snorkel, maybe. 28 00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:27,211 What's he out there doing? 29 00:01:27,378 --> 00:01:31,840 Actually, I think he's in training... 30 00:01:32,675 --> 00:01:33,842 ...for the majors. 31 00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:36,720 Oh, going back to the majors. 32 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:39,681 All right, boys. 33 00:01:39,849 --> 00:01:41,475 Let's get back into baseball, okay? 34 00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:44,019 Wayne, keep that pistol aimed at the strike zone... 35 00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:46,688 ...because that is where this bad boy's going. 36 00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:50,317 All right. Fly as I say fly. 37 00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:53,862 Do as I say do. Master and commander. 38 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:03,080 And the crowd goes crazy. 39 00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:08,252 - Sixty-eight. - What did I tell you, man? 40 00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:11,130 Don't read the readout. That's my own private information. 41 00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:12,714 Why didn't you hit the target? 42 00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:15,134 Because at the last moment, I decided not to. 43 00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:18,637 I decided to go for that birdbath your dad put in there just... 44 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,890 I'm trying so hard not to be an asshole to you guys, okay? 45 00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:24,268 Just please work with me here. 46 00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:26,228 I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you guys. 47 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:28,063 I'm just disappointed with my arm... 48 00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:30,858 ...and how it's trying to butt-fuck me back here. 49 00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:34,069 - I hated that birdbath. - I broke that for you. I knew you hated it. 50 00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:36,071 We're the same. I hate that thing too. 51 00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:37,948 A stork wrapped around a tree branch. 52 00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:40,450 That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen before. 53 00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:43,162 You know, that's how the plague started back in the day. 54 00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:46,331 It was from a little disgusting birdbath in someone's backyard... 55 00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:52,129 ...that rats made sex to birds in it and created a whole new type of AIDS. 56 00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:53,881 It's important. 57 00:02:54,048 --> 00:02:56,091 One time, I was invited to come to a social gathering. 58 00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:58,051 I was paid a handsome amount of money. 59 00:02:58,219 --> 00:03:00,387 I brought a shotgun and a bottle of Tanqueray... 60 00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:02,848 ...and showed them the best time they've ever seen. 61 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:06,602 A humongous part about being a celebrity is cashing in on it... 62 00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:10,647 ...making shitloads of money, having expensive, luxurious things. 63 00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:13,233 That way, in case one day you're not famous... 64 00:03:13,401 --> 00:03:17,779 ...you could still be rich as hell and better than everyone around you. 65 00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:35,214 Wait a second. Is Kenny Powers walking around my showroom? 66 00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:37,007 - Quite possibly. - How are you doing? 67 00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:40,093 - Who am I speaking to? - Ashley Schaeffer, Ashley Schaeffer BMW. 68 00:03:40,261 --> 00:03:41,887 - Damn fine to meet you. - Okay. 69 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,097 - I take it you own this place. - I sure do. 70 00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:45,974 My name's on the goddamn building. 71 00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:48,018 I thought Ashley Schaeffer was gonna be a woman. 72 00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:51,063 Ha-ha-ha. I love women. I'll take that as a compliment. Whoo. 73 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,564 Take it as you will. 74 00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,733 - I will. - You should. 75 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:57,027 I am. I'm taking it. 76 00:03:57,195 --> 00:04:00,280 - Pretty nice showroom you got. - Thank you. We have a lot of pride. 77 00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:03,242 We've done a lot of work lately. Complete renovations. 78 00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:06,286 We got beautiful cars. Beautiful surroundings. 79 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:08,538 - Yeah. - Beautiful women. 80 00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:11,708 - Yeah. They are pretty hot, huh? - They're my closers. 81 00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:15,379 Yeah, they help people who are slightly hesitant to buy cars. 82 00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:17,339 - So if you happen to be a man... - Yeah. 83 00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:19,466 ...Ashley over there will suck your dick. 84 00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:20,842 I like how you work. 85 00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:22,386 If you happen to be a woman... 86 00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:24,554 ...Scott will finger you with his penis. 87 00:04:26,557 --> 00:04:28,976 That's the kind of fun and games we have around here. 88 00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:30,727 Oh, you get it done? 89 00:04:30,895 --> 00:04:34,314 Whoa! Okay. That was... That's not what you do, not in my neighborhood. 90 00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:35,899 We do around here. We also do this. 91 00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:38,151 - Uh, no, that's not... Uh-uh. - That's what we do here. 92 00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:39,444 - We're having fun. - Okay. 93 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:42,739 - It's so good to have you in here. - I'm gonna cut to the chase. 94 00:04:42,907 --> 00:04:45,033 - Please, do. - I'm an athlete. 95 00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:47,202 - But I'm also a businessman. - Mm-hm. 96 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:50,038 - You got a classy joint here. - Yeah. 97 00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:56,044 And you're trying to lure customers in with a caveman spinning a sign around. 98 00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:58,046 It's actually technically an orangutan. 99 00:04:58,214 --> 00:05:00,716 Well, just seems to me an establishment such as this... 100 00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:03,760 ...could go for an overhaul in the advertising spokesman game. 101 00:05:03,928 --> 00:05:07,806 I'm talking about a real celebrity, not some sign-spinning fucking monkey. 102 00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:10,726 I'm talking about goddamn me in the store... 103 00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:13,020 ...live, uncut, in person. 104 00:05:13,187 --> 00:05:16,398 Bringing in the customers, lubing the deals. 105 00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:18,233 Holy shit! 106 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:21,194 This must be my goddamn fucking lucky day. 107 00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:24,031 First off, Kenny Powers walks into my showroom. 108 00:05:24,198 --> 00:05:26,408 Then he says he wants to do a personal appearance. 109 00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:28,910 It's goddamn amazing! Whoo. 110 00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:30,329 - Yeah. - Whoo. 111 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:32,080 Yeah, I got a lot of star power. 112 00:05:32,248 --> 00:05:35,125 And I think it would make this night a grand success. 113 00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:39,713 - And I think it'll only cost you 2 grand. - Mm. 114 00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:42,924 Yeah, I'm gonna pay you 100 bucks. 115 00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:47,262 You sure you don't wanna maybe meet in the middle somewhere? 116 00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,181 How about 200 bucks? 117 00:05:50,641 --> 00:05:53,268 - Two hundred bucks to come...? - Two hundred bucks, cash. 118 00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:54,853 And a blowjob. 119 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,438 - Fuck you, man. - Yeah, okay. 120 00:05:56,647 --> 00:05:57,856 - Fuck you. - Just kidding. 121 00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:00,108 Hey, guys, bring the fucking ape in here. 122 00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:26,426 Good morning, Kenny. 123 00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:28,678 Now, part of becoming a professional athlete... 124 00:06:28,846 --> 00:06:31,181 ...is being strong and fit. 125 00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:34,267 Another part is staying strong and fit. 126 00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:37,687 That is a part that I myself am currently involved with. 127 00:06:37,855 --> 00:06:39,272 Example A: 128 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,983 I can stand to lose four, maybe five pounds... 129 00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:44,277 ...to get back in practical game condition. 130 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:45,487 No shit. 131 00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:47,989 - What did you just say? - Nothing. 132 00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:51,034 Let's do this. I got my two favorite students here. 133 00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:55,497 They're gonna spot me 252 pounds of pure steel. 134 00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:57,874 Let's pump some iron, bitches. 135 00:06:58,042 --> 00:06:59,709 Okay. 136 00:06:59,877 --> 00:07:00,877 Take this serious, guys. 137 00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:03,839 You can get hurt if you're not strong enough, okay? 138 00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:06,216 Okay. Watch, class. 139 00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:07,634 Masculine strength. 140 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:11,388 One, two, three. 141 00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:13,682 Okay, yeah, help me. Help me out. Okay. 142 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:15,851 All right, back up, back up. Get away. 143 00:07:16,018 --> 00:07:17,352 Oh, shit! 144 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:18,979 Oh, fuck me! 145 00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:20,772 Spot me, goddamn it! 146 00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:21,982 Get it off of me! 147 00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:04,149 Yo, what's happening over here with the babes? 148 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:07,027 - Fall dance. - Oh, a dance, huh? 149 00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,653 Would you like to buy a ticket? 150 00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:11,156 All the profits go toward Phillip's hospital bills. 151 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,575 Who the fuck is Phillip? 152 00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:17,078 He's one of our students here. He has brain cancer. 153 00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:19,873 - I've never seen that kid. - "Spina diffia," I think. 154 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:23,043 Whatever the fuck any of that stuff is, I don't know him. 155 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,753 He gets a dance? 156 00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:27,672 No, I'm not going to any depressing shit like that. 157 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,090 Too sensitive. 158 00:08:29,258 --> 00:08:31,510 Okay, well, Kenny, I hate to burst your bubble... 159 00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:34,221 ...but it looks like your name is on the chaperon list. 160 00:08:34,388 --> 00:08:37,098 I don't know anything about a chaperon list. What is that? 161 00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:41,603 It's right here and it says that you're a teacher supervisor. 162 00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:44,397 Are you asking me to this dance? 163 00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:47,776 No, I'm not. I'm just saying your name is on the chaperon list. 164 00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:50,904 April, are you asking me to this dance? 165 00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:52,447 No. 166 00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,283 When is this dance? 167 00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:57,118 - It's tonight. - Tonight? 168 00:08:57,286 --> 00:08:58,995 - You mean, "tonight" tonight? Mm-hm. 169 00:08:59,163 --> 00:09:00,956 Fuck that noise. I can't do anything tonight. 170 00:09:01,165 --> 00:09:03,124 - I got some shit set up already. - What? 171 00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:06,086 - I'm hosting this celebrity event tonight. - Really? 172 00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:08,004 Yeah, I'm getting paid like 15 notes. 173 00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:10,799 Okay, well, if you can't come, you can't come. 174 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:14,427 You don't have to get upset. I'm sorry I can't go to the dance with you. 175 00:09:14,595 --> 00:09:19,307 You'll have to chalk this up to another heartbreak, just like back in high school. 176 00:09:20,851 --> 00:09:23,061 How much will y'all give me if I slam-dunk this thing... 177 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,480 - ...into the trashcan? - Nothing. Nothing. 178 00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:32,821 D-Ball, what are you doing, man? 179 00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:34,573 Goddamn it, Kenny, I'm brushing my teeth. 180 00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:36,449 I need you to give me a ride. 181 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,244 - What's wrong with your truck? - Nothing. 182 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,288 - I just need you to drive me around. - Why? 183 00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:44,124 Well, Schaeffer BMW is gonna pay me a shit-ton of money... 184 00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,585 ...to make a little celebrity appearance tonight. 185 00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:49,129 Yeah. And, I don't know. 186 00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:54,009 I just feel like it'll be stupid if I drive myself, because I'm famous. 187 00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:57,679 All right. I'll drive you there and you can find your way back. 188 00:09:57,847 --> 00:10:00,515 I need you to stay the whole time. That's what drivers do. 189 00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:03,059 Drivers don't drive you there and then drive off. 190 00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:05,812 If you're gonna do this, you have to do it the full way. 191 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:09,065 - I might even need you to wear a uniform. - Forget it, Kenny. 192 00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:11,943 No one's gonna look down on you because you drove yourself. 193 00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:14,529 Now, close the door. Get the fuck out of here. 194 00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:17,240 What's with them yellow towels? Those are pretty... 195 00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:19,534 Give me that, motherfucker. 196 00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:22,120 I saw your dick. 197 00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:25,040 Give me that toilet paper, Kenny. 198 00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:31,838 Come on, you wanna give me a ride? Wanna be my personal chauffeur tonight? 199 00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:33,882 - I got enough. - That's not enough. 200 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,051 I smelled that motherfucker. You need more. 201 00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:38,887 You have crossed the line. Give me the toilet paper now. 202 00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:40,889 Fine. 203 00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:44,225 Turtle-walk your ass out of here. Thanks for nothing. 204 00:10:44,393 --> 00:10:48,521 Kenny! 205 00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:50,523 Man, this thing's got some power. 206 00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:53,401 Don't rev my shit. I'm trying to do something serious here. 207 00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:56,154 I don't need you going fucking maverick on me. 208 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,657 All right, it's up here on the left. 209 00:10:59,241 --> 00:11:01,242 - Where? - Clegg, to the left, dude. 210 00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,662 - Where? There? - The fucking place says Schaeffer BMW. 211 00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:05,997 - Please, go left. - All right, I got it, I got it. 212 00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:09,501 Fuck you, asshole! 213 00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:13,338 All right, here we are. 214 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:16,800 Man, this feels good, Clegg. 215 00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:19,344 Did you take one of those black beauties? 216 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,096 The ecstasy? 217 00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:23,139 No, dude. This is a real job. 218 00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:26,226 It's not like teaching kids. You can't get fucked up. 219 00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:29,938 What feels good is just this. 220 00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,440 Back in the spotlight, man. 221 00:11:32,608 --> 00:11:34,109 Right where I belong. 222 00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:36,569 All right! Kenny Powers is here, everyone! 223 00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:39,239 Let's hear it. Whoo! 224 00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,700 Let's hear it. Keep going. Keep it going. 225 00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:44,828 Kenny Powers. That's Kenny Powers. 226 00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,705 He doesn't do this all the time. 227 00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:48,498 Kenny! 228 00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:51,710 - Turn around. Look at them, man. - Hey, how's it going, guys? 229 00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:53,253 Why'd you bring a football? 230 00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:56,297 Shelby's bad boy is back in business, huh? 231 00:11:56,465 --> 00:11:58,550 Oh, yes, he is. Yes, he is. 232 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,052 Are you nervous tonight? You feel a lot of emotions? 233 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:05,390 I feel 110 percent. Ready to move some BMWs tonight! 234 00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:08,810 That's... That's it. 235 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:11,187 It's a big night. What are you gonna go with... 236 00:12:11,355 --> 00:12:13,314 ...your fastball or your cut fastball? 237 00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:14,733 Maybe a forkball? 238 00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:17,318 Maybe just signing some balls instead. 239 00:12:17,486 --> 00:12:19,612 - Signing some balls? - Yeah. 240 00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:21,823 It's not a microphone. 241 00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,450 - It's not a microphone. - I know. 242 00:12:23,617 --> 00:12:25,618 We're just having fun. Come on. 243 00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:28,288 - How's it going? - You ready to get this thing going? 244 00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,498 - Let's do it. - Yeah. Scott. 245 00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:32,041 Why don't you throw that on? 246 00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:35,211 - What's this? - That's an Ashley Schaeffer BMW polo. 247 00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:36,629 - Put that on. - Right now? 248 00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:37,839 Yeah, right now. 249 00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:40,175 No offense, but I kind of think the all-black... 250 00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:42,886 ...is more indicative of the Kenny Powers rebel persona. 251 00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:45,096 Scott, heads up. Thank you. 252 00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:46,556 Look, I paid you $200, okay? 253 00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:49,058 I wanna see Ashley Schaeffer BMW on your tit. 254 00:12:49,226 --> 00:12:50,977 - All right? - Whoa! 255 00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:54,189 Easy. I don't play games like that. 256 00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:57,233 This isn't a game. 257 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:03,198 All right, everybody, who wants to meet Kenny Powers? 258 00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:06,576 Kenny Powers. What the fuck is up with you, man? 259 00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,454 You know me. Who am I making this shit out to? 260 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:12,499 Well, Kenny, my name's Kevin Hickman, and I want you to know... 261 00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:15,627 ...even though your career's hit a real sour patch lately... 262 00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:19,255 ...I'm still your number one goshdarn fan, man, 100 percent. 263 00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:22,217 That's great. There you go, sport. Take a hike. 264 00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:25,011 Well, actually, the thing is, Kenny... 265 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:28,848 ...I was wondering if maybe you might burn one down the middle for me. 266 00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:31,142 I brought my glove and it'd mean a lot. 267 00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:33,686 Well, obviously, I'd love to, you know, do that... 268 00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:36,439 ...but I don't think it would be fair to the other people... 269 00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:37,899 Oh, hell, Kenny, come on. 270 00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:40,235 I think you're underestimating your fan base. 271 00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:42,070 I mean, who in their right mind... 272 00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:44,948 ...wouldn't wanna see the Kenny Powers... 273 00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:47,575 ...give us a little display of that God-given talent? 274 00:13:47,743 --> 00:13:49,744 - All right! - Who wouldn't wanna see that? 275 00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:53,832 Well, the thing is, you know, I didn't even warm the old whip up. 276 00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:57,710 I got Polynesian sauce all over my fingers from eating these goddamn egg rolls. 277 00:13:57,878 --> 00:14:01,506 I'd hate if I slipped up and put a hole in one of these top-of-the-line vehicles. 278 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,424 Nonsense! Come on, man! 279 00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:07,720 I'm Ashley Schaeffer. I got a whole lot full of goddamn BMWs. 280 00:14:07,888 --> 00:14:10,598 Who wouldn't wanna see you burn a hole through one, right? 281 00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:12,517 - Yeah! - The people wanna see it! 282 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,018 Yeah! 283 00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,565 Yeah, come on! 284 00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:22,652 - Here we go, okay? - Take it easy on me. 285 00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:25,280 Hell with that. Smoke that fool. 286 00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:28,116 It's Kenny Powers. Come on, everyone. 287 00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:31,995 - Come on. - Go on. 288 00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:42,589 Sorry, sorry. I can't do it. Not gonna do it. Can't do it. 289 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,300 I'll be goddamned if I fork out 200 bucks... 290 00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:47,719 ...and I'm flat-out denied a single goddamn pitch. 291 00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:49,470 Throw the damn ball. 292 00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:51,681 Pitch was never part of the deal. 293 00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:53,182 I'm sorry to be a stickler... 294 00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,935 ...but I throw one to him, next thing you know... 295 00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:58,646 ...I'm at the grocery store, the bar, the titty club... 296 00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:01,190 ...and every fucker I pass is asking me to smoke one. 297 00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:03,568 I can't open myself up to that. 298 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,570 If I didn't know any better, I'd think... 299 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,488 ...Kenny Powers is afraid to throw a baseball. 300 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:11,117 Come on, it's been that long, huh? 301 00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:13,369 - No. - Forget your trade? 302 00:15:13,537 --> 00:15:15,872 Come on, it's a simple motion, just like that. 303 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,458 You got a little tendinitis or something? Come on. 304 00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:22,003 How about this: Roll it on the ground, pretend like it's a bowling ball? 305 00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:25,506 No, how about we just go back and we'll sign the rest of the balls...? 306 00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:27,675 How about you throw the ball, all right? 307 00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:31,429 Come on. These people wanna see a show and I don't wanna be embarrassed. 308 00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:34,390 Well, you're doing a good job of that on your own... 309 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,017 ...just by how you fucking look. 310 00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:38,686 I thought you were a baseball pitcher. 311 00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:41,064 - Know what...? - Thought you were a ball player. 312 00:15:41,231 --> 00:15:42,690 - I am a ball player. - Are you? 313 00:15:42,858 --> 00:15:44,442 - I'm not a goddamn ape. - Really? 314 00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,694 - Yeah. I'm not... - So far, I don't believe it. 315 00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:48,529 You know what? Fuck you. 316 00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:50,198 Fuck this, fuck all you people. 317 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:53,493 Good luck selling these stupid fucking cars. I'm not helping you. 318 00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:58,039 Hey, hey, hey. You know you're not gonna get paid if you walk out of here. 319 00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:03,378 Good Lord. 320 00:16:03,545 --> 00:16:05,922 You're a loser. You are an ape. 321 00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:14,555 Bye, Kenny. Bye, Kenny Powers. 322 00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:16,766 Bye, Kenny. 323 00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:18,851 Hey, fuck you, Kenny! 324 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:30,780 Clegg! 325 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,700 - Clegg! - Kenny! 326 00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:35,868 Kenny! 327 00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:37,412 What are you doing? 328 00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:39,455 What's up? 329 00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,457 Dude, it's time to roll! Come on! 330 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:44,419 See? Look, I told you I know him. 331 00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:47,922 - Kenny! - Come on! 332 00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,966 I gotta go. I gotta go. 333 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,846 Where were you? Told you to wait in the car. 334 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,682 Why is there silver shit all over your face? 335 00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,143 I was hanging with those dudes in the parking lot. 336 00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:03,229 Doing what? Giving Robocop a blowjob? 337 00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:04,772 Are you crying? 338 00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:06,607 No! 339 00:17:06,775 --> 00:17:08,609 Do you still have that ecstasy? 340 00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:30,631 He's with me. Don't bust balls. 341 00:17:32,342 --> 00:17:34,469 My... My... My friends are here. They're... 342 00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:54,197 Fucking awesome! 343 00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:06,793 I'm not gonna get out on that dance floor with you. 344 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,795 It would be inappropriate. What is this? 345 00:18:08,962 --> 00:18:10,463 Now you're gonna dance with her? 346 00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:12,340 - That's different. - I see how it is. 347 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,634 - Okay, come on, come on. - I see how it is. 348 00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:29,690 Hey, everybody really turned it out for Phillip tonight, don't you think? 349 00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:33,069 It's a pretty good party. 350 00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:36,405 Pretty... All right. 351 00:18:44,581 --> 00:18:46,916 - Hi, how are you? - What are you doing here? 352 00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:49,669 - I thought you had a big event. - Yeah, I did. 353 00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:53,381 I canceled it. I'm not an ape. 354 00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:55,424 I'm a professional ball player. 355 00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:59,387 I need to be around people who understand that. 356 00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:04,225 Are you okay? Because you're sweating a lot. 357 00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:07,562 April, I gotta come clean, babe. 358 00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:12,024 There's one image in my life that consistently makes me happy... 359 00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:14,610 ...no matter when I think about it, and that image... 360 00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:16,612 That one image is your big tits. 361 00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,781 - Oh, Kenny...! - No, listen. 362 00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:21,242 I'm not trying to be crude with you. This is real. 363 00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:23,077 This is me being honest with you. 364 00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:24,287 You're inappropriate. 365 00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:27,415 - Love is inappropriate sometimes. - There are children present. 366 00:19:27,624 --> 00:19:31,252 What a better place for me to say my love than surrounded by little angels? 367 00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:33,254 This is about real emotions. 368 00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:37,592 This is about me loving you for real. 369 00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:40,428 And not in a "just to make me come" kind of way. 370 00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:42,597 In a real way. All right. 371 00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:49,812 If you won't listen to my words, then listen to my dancing feet. 372 00:19:58,238 --> 00:19:59,322 Oh, my. 373 00:19:59,489 --> 00:20:00,781 Work, drugs. 374 00:21:08,892 --> 00:21:09,976 Call a janitor. 375 00:21:18,443 --> 00:21:20,861 Do you think he's okay? 376 00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:25,408 Yeah, I think he just got overheated. 377 00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:28,661 - You doing okay there, Kenny? - I'm fine. 378 00:21:28,829 --> 00:21:31,622 It was the egg rolls, not the ecstasy. 379 00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:35,876 Okay. Well, we're gonna get you a ride home, all right? 380 00:21:37,921 --> 00:21:39,005 No. 381 00:21:42,217 --> 00:21:43,551 Clegg! 382 00:21:45,804 --> 00:21:48,681 Well, we raised a lot of money for Phillip tonight, huh? 383 00:21:48,849 --> 00:21:51,017 That was pretty good. 384 00:21:51,226 --> 00:21:53,352 That's right, Stevie. 385 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:55,313 Clegg! 386 00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:01,193 - Clegg. - Everybody's gone, Kenny. 387 00:22:01,361 --> 00:22:04,488 - He was supposed to wait for me. - Who's that? 388 00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:05,656 Oh. 389 00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:07,992 My driver. 390 00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:09,994 You have a driver? 391 00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:11,620 Of course, I do. I'm famous. 392 00:22:11,788 --> 00:22:14,498 Oh, okay. Well, why don't you come with me, Kenny? 393 00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:17,126 - I'll give you a ride. - No. 394 00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:19,628 I'm going home. 395 00:22:27,262 --> 00:22:29,513 Well, see you Monday. 396 00:22:44,905 --> 00:22:46,989 Kenny. Kenny, stop. 397 00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:51,327 You look like you could use a friend. 398 00:22:51,495 --> 00:22:53,120 What'd you just say? 399 00:22:53,288 --> 00:22:55,122 You look like you could use a ride. 400 00:22:55,457 --> 00:22:57,124 Well, maybe I could. 401 00:22:57,292 --> 00:22:58,626 Is that such a crime? 402 00:22:58,794 --> 00:23:01,003 No, it's not a crime. 403 00:23:01,171 --> 00:23:05,758 I'd give you a ride gladly, Kenny Powers. 404 00:23:06,468 --> 00:23:08,177 Funny thing. 405 00:23:08,345 --> 00:23:09,929 When you're on top of the world... 406 00:23:10,097 --> 00:23:13,849 ...every motherfucker wants to get a piece of your ass. 407 00:23:14,017 --> 00:23:17,603 But then you take a little time off from being unstoppable... 408 00:23:17,771 --> 00:23:21,899 ...just to regroup and relax... 409 00:23:22,109 --> 00:23:25,694 ...no one will give you the time of fucking day. 410 00:23:25,862 --> 00:23:29,698 This face used to cash fucking checks. 411 00:23:29,908 --> 00:23:31,283 And this dick... 412 00:23:36,498 --> 00:23:40,000 I guess Kenny Powers ain't what he used to be. 413 00:23:42,003 --> 00:23:44,964 No, you... I can imagine. I saw you lots on TV. 414 00:23:45,132 --> 00:23:48,342 Your face did cash a lot of checks. 415 00:23:48,510 --> 00:23:51,345 I don't know about the dick, though. 416 00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:55,307 What the fuck is your name again? 417 00:23:57,477 --> 00:24:00,354 Stevie. It's Stevie Janowski. 418 00:24:05,026 --> 00:24:06,861 All right, Stevie Janowski. 419 00:24:07,028 --> 00:24:08,821 I accept your offer. 420 00:24:18,457 --> 00:24:21,250 Can we go to Ashley Schaeffer BMW first? 421 00:24:22,002 --> 00:24:25,588 Yes. Anything you want, Kenny Powers. 422 00:24:25,797 --> 00:24:27,631 Anything at all.