1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,359
♪ We're not going out,

2
00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:05,959
♪ Not staying in

3
00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:09,079
♪ Just hanging around
with my head in a spin

4
00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:12,319
♪ But there is no need
to scream and shout

5
00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:15,079
♪ We're not going out

6
00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:18,040
♪ We are not going out. ♪

7
00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:27,759
So I'm not a cartoon character,
my name isn't Bill,

8
00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:30,120
and I'm not known for wearing a hat.

9
00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:34,519
I'm all out of questions, here.

10
00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:38,000
We haven't got all year. Well,
technically, of course, we have.

11
00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:41,119
Because, well, you know,

12
00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:43,879
it's 40 minutes to midnight
on New Year's Eve.

13
00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:45,999
Thanks for the anal observation.

14
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,400
That reminds me,
can we play Twister next?

15
00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:53,799
What are you like, Frank?
Isn't he awful, Geoffrey?

16
00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,520
Yes, he's absolutely appalling.

17
00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:01,519
Come on, Lee. We're supposed to
be entertaining our guests.

18
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,359
No, it's fine, Lucy.

19
00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:07,239
I mean, yes, Toby did turn down
an invitation to a son et lumiere

20
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:10,999
at Hampton Court, but I'd
much rather spend New Year's Eve

21
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:13,480
watching Lee guess
what's glued to his forehead.

22
00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:17,839
Yes, don't worry
on our account, Lucy.

23
00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:19,359
It's been a difficult year,

24
00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:23,319
not being able to spend time
with friends and family.

25
00:01:23,320 --> 00:01:25,639
It takes a moment like this
to make you realise

26
00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:28,800
lockdown wasn't really
all that tedious after all.

27
00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:33,119
Maybe each person gets one clue.

28
00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:35,479
I don't think giving clues
is in the rules.

29
00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:38,239
It's just a proposal.
No-one has to agree.

30
00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:40,200
I wish I'd thought of that
20 years ago!

31
00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:45,079
Would giving clues matter
if it really speeds things up?

32
00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:48,199
I don't know. Would it really matter
to the World Chess Championships

33
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:51,040
if they suddenly suspended
the en passant rule?

34
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:54,919
Sorry.

35
00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:58,399
Don't worry. Me and Lee's mum
used to always bicker like this.

36
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,719
Yeah, that's what ended
the marriage in the end.

37
00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:03,120
Huge drunken rows
about the en passant rule.

38
00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:06,679
OK. One clue it is.

39
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:10,240
Seeing as I set yours for you, Lee,
I'll give you your clue.

40
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:12,920
You've got eight letters.

41
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:15,880
Snow White's postman!

42
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,799
No. Frank's turn.

43
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:24,359
Right, what country am I from?

44
00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:27,479
It's yes or no questions only,
I'm afraid. All right.

45
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,880
Yes or no, what country am I from?

46
00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:35,799
Here's your clue. Your name
is also Cockney rhyming slang.

47
00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,120
Brad Pitt!

48
00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:40,599
You know...

49
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,360
..as in, I'm going for a... No!

50
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,160
Eartha Kitt.

51
00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:50,399
It doesn't rhyme with Pitt.
Dickie Bird? Douglas Hurd?

52
00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,479
Good God!

53
00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:55,320
Oh, I just got that! Brad Pitt!

54
00:02:58,480 --> 00:02:59,960
Brahms and Liszt.

55
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:02,839
Your turn, Dad.

56
00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:05,439
Ha! He hasn't got a chance.

57
00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:08,439
Your clue is you're
an American pop singer.

58
00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:11,799
Tony Bennett? Um...

59
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,959
Perry Como?

60
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:15,680
I'll go for Taylor Swift.

61
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:22,319
What?! Taylor Swift.

62
00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:25,119
Well done, Dad!
Well, he must have cheated!

63
00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:27,759
Oh, and how exactly did I do that?

64
00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:30,159
You saw it reflected in that mirror.

65
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:34,760
Oh, you mean the mirror hanging up
above the bowl of sour grapes?

66
00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:38,559
Nobby Stiles!

67
00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:40,319
You know, sour grapes.

68
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,479
I thought I was Nobby Stiles.

69
00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:43,520
Piles!

70
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:48,919
At Hampton Court, they'll be
bringing the canapes around now.

71
00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:51,959
I could be getting lost in the maze.

72
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:53,120
Alone.

73
00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:57,959
Come on, admit it. You saw it.
Don't accuse Dad of cheating, Lee.

74
00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:01,280
He's never even heard of Taylor
Swift. Of course I've heard of him!

75
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:05,119
Taylor Swift's a woman.

76
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,679
Well, it's so hard to tell nowadays.

77
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:09,919
OK, then,
name one Taylor Swift song.

78
00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:13,759
I don't need to be cross-examined
by you to prove my integrity!

79
00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:16,559
One of her less successful singles.

80
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,759
Lee, stop it. Of course
he's heard of her.

81
00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:21,519
No, he hasn't. That's the whole
reason I chose Taylor Swift for him

82
00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:22,799
in the first place.

83
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:25,839
Well, isn't this jolly?
Perhaps New York next year.

84
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:27,999
We can go wherever you like.

85
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,040
"We"?

86
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:31,960
So YOU cheated.

87
00:04:31,961 --> 00:04:33,279
That's not cheating.

88
00:04:33,280 --> 00:04:35,559
That's just... embracing the fun

89
00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:37,919
by making life as difficult
as possible for you.

90
00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:41,319
Did you steal that line
from our marriage vows?

91
00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,399
Well done. Dad's the winner.

92
00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:46,199
And, as a prize, you get
the final chocolate in the box.

93
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:47,600
Not for me, thanks.

94
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:51,479
Or me, either, apparently.

95
00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:54,839
That was my Christmas present from
the kids. Exactly. From the kids.

96
00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:56,240
Which means I bought them.

97
00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:59,400
Why did you make me Cruella de Vil?

98
00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:02,720
Perhaps he couldn't spell Goebbels.

99
00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:06,799
You love that film.
I was trying to help you.

100
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:10,479
By suggesting I'd kill puppies
and use their skins as a coat?

101
00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:11,839
Is that how you see me?

102
00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:12,999
Of course not.

103
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:16,159
Yeah, he knows you
wouldn't bother killing them first.

104
00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:19,919
Look, you made me Steve Davis,
a man who's so boring,

105
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:23,399
they nicknamed him Interesting.
Only because you love snooker.

106
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,839
If I was trying to
encapsulate your personality,

107
00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:27,360
I'd have left the paper blank.

108
00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:30,160
Oh, what a bitch!

109
00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:38,159
Seriously, Anna. Why are you such a
meanie to Toby? It's not his fault.

110
00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:41,679
Not everyone was born to be sexy
and charismatic.

111
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:44,320
I know she's blind drunk,
but she can see I'm here, right?

112
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:47,119
I am not drunk.

113
00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:48,759
Now, where's my bloody clue?

114
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:49,959
The game's over, Mum.

115
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,559
Clue, clue, clue!

116
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,279
Just give her one.

117
00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:54,999
Don't!

118
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:58,320
I wasn't about to make
a lewd remark, actually.

119
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:03,359
You're married to a man with a metal
piercing through his genitals.

120
00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:05,080
Yes, but what's my clue?

121
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,679
Good God!
Come on, Mum. Just take a guess.

122
00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:14,759
I've got absolutely
no idea who I am.

123
00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:17,040
That's becoming increasingly
obvious by the minute.

124
00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:19,520
I'm Hank Marvin.

125
00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:25,399
Why didn't you just say that earlier
and put us all out of our misery?

126
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:28,359
Perhaps he was
hiding in the Shadows.

127
00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:29,759
Brilliant(!)

128
00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:31,319
Oh, well, next year,

129
00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:34,759
I'll be sipping champagne from the
top of the Empire State Building.

130
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,719
And how will you get to the top?

131
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:40,080
Will you climb up the outside again
and try and catch aeroplanes?

132
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,519
What are you doing, Frank?!

133
00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:48,159
I'm just told you,
I'm Hank Marvin, starving. Oh...

134
00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:49,600
..I see.

135
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:54,479
Ha-ha! I had no idea!

136
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:56,119
That's so funny!

137
00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:59,279
I'm Hank Marvin
and I really am Hank Marvin!

138
00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,360
I knew we should have made him
James Hunt.

139
00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:05,639
No-one touches the trifle
until midnight.

140
00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:07,959
Can you please sit back down?

141
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:10,559
It's a family tradition
that we've always had, Frank.

142
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:14,039
Yeah, Dad, you know,
New Year's midnight trifle.

143
00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:15,519
It's one of those great traditions,

144
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:19,599
like Christmas morning kebabs
or Halloween afternoon marmalade.

145
00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:22,639
We all have different
Hogmanay traditions, Lee,

146
00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:24,239
whether it's a trifle

147
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:28,279
or a fight in a pub car park
followed by a trip to casualty.

148
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,999
Toby always likes to
get his tax returns in

149
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,199
before midnight on the 31st.

150
00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:36,440
I find the Excel spreadsheets
an oasis of calm.

151
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,719
It's Mum's special recipe.

152
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,199
I wondered why it was like you,
Wendy -

153
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,159
all fruity and tasty looking.

154
00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:45,240
And full of alcohol.

155
00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:49,639
Oh, Frank,
you are a naughty little boy.

156
00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:53,239
I want to put you over my knee
and spank you.

157
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,359
Why stop there?

158
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:55,760
Have him adopted.

159
00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,239
Tom Jones?!

160
00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:04,039
I asked you half an hour ago
if I was a singer and you said no.

161
00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:05,199
Correct.

162
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:08,039
That's because I didn't give you
THAT Tom Jones.

163
00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:09,959
I gave you the fictional Tom Jones,

164
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:14,759
the eponymous hero of the 18th
picaresque novel by Henry Fielding.

165
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,759
Well done, Geoffrey.
That's very clever.

166
00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:18,999
Clever?! For cheating? Again!

167
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,599
How was that cheating?

168
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,079
Because no-one's ever heard
of THAT Tom Jones!

169
00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,679
Just like you've never heard
of Taylor Swift. Yes, I have.

170
00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:29,119
No, you haven't, because I meant
the... fictional Taylor Swift

171
00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:33,799
from the... anonymous pop-up book
by Fenella Fielding.

172
00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:36,559
Bloody cheat!
How dare you call me a cheat!

173
00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:38,719
THEY SHOUT ACROSS EACH OTHER

174
00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:40,720
Oh, will you all just shut up?!

175
00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:46,439
Why do we always have to do this
every single time?!

176
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:49,199
Do what? This!

177
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,839
Can't we do something different
for once?

178
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:53,000
I've brought Boggle.

179
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:57,599
I wasn't referring to the game,
Toby!

180
00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:01,759
I mean the constant
childish bickering. Look at us.

181
00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,759
We're supposed to be
family and friends.

182
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:06,319
We're supposed to find joy
in each other's company.

183
00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:08,439
And yet, every single time
we get together,

184
00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:10,679
it descends into squabbling.

185
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:13,919
If we can't all learn to be
a bit more civil with each other,

186
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:17,080
then maybe we need to stop
spending time together.

187
00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,399
Might be worth a try.

188
00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:23,319
It'd be a shame. I look forward
to our little get-togethers.

189
00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:27,119
Why? All you do is deliberately try
and irritate me

190
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:30,999
and make lewd remarks to my wife.
Good point.

191
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,559
Why do you like us
spending time together, Frank?

192
00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:36,999
Well, because I like deliberately
trying to irritate him

193
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,200
and making lewd remarks to his wife.

194
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:42,679
Well, I've had enough.

195
00:09:42,680 --> 00:09:45,639
This coming year,
things are going to change.

196
00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:49,359
In fact,
we start as we mean to go on.

197
00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:52,999
There's half an hour left
until midnight. That's the deadline.

198
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:57,039
If we can't enter the year in a
spirit of peace and goodwill to all,

199
00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:58,680
then, by Christ, I'm going to...

200
00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:03,200
..chuck that trifle
over someone's head!

201
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:08,839
Well, maybe...
Maybe Lucy has a point.

202
00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:12,199
We need to make more of an effort to
get along. We're all grown adults.

203
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:14,519
Don't worry, Dad.
We'll get you a stepladder.

204
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:16,719
Careful, Lee.
You're risking a trifle on the head.

205
00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,999
Oh, don't be stupid.
Lucy's not serious.

206
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:23,200
She's hardly going to waste
her precious home-made trifle by...

207
00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:27,239
OK.

208
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:29,319
She's serious.

209
00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:33,159
That was a harmless spoonful
of whipped cream,

210
00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:38,439
but underneath that, there's
custard, then fruit, then jelly,

211
00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:41,720
then two inches of sponge fingers
soaked in dry sherry.

212
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,000
Anyone else want to pick a fight?

213
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:49,759
Good.

214
00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:52,240
Then let's carry on
with the evening, shall we?

215
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:01,840
LOUD CRUNCH

216
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,000
Can I ask a question?

217
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:08,719
Yes, Mother.

218
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,640
Am I a famous sportswoman?

219
00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:16,440
I think the game's over, Wendy.
Oh, I'd say it's only just begun.

220
00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:21,359
So what are we meant to do now?
What do you mean?

221
00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:22,839
He's saying that without conflict,

222
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:26,359
he's incapable of interacting
reasonably with other human beings.

223
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,479
No, no, I'm fine with human beings.

224
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,080
It's pompous old knobheads
I've got a problem with.

225
00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,679
Let's call that a practice run,
shall we?

226
00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:38,799
Can I make a suggestion?
I'm no expert on relationships,

227
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:41,599
but I know what our marriage
guidance counsellor would say.

228
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,840
"Thanks for helping me
pay off me mortgage"?

229
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,679
It's not midnight yet.
They were your rules.

230
00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:50,559
We only have to change our behaviour
in the New Year.

231
00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:53,159
Well, maybe start acclimatising.

232
00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:55,799
Our counsellor would say
stop playing competitive

233
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:59,639
and adversarial games and do
something more constructive instead.

234
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:03,399
No offence, Toby, but your
marriage guidance counsellor?

235
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:06,840
Isn't that rather like being St
John's ambulance man on the Titanic?

236
00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:10,319
So what are you suggesting?

237
00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:12,680
Why don't we all make
New Year's resolutions?

238
00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:15,439
What could be more fun?

239
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:17,599
Childbirth?

240
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,879
And tonight is
the perfect night to do it

241
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:21,559
if you want to make
a positive change.

242
00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:24,599
Oh, for God's sake! I thought
this was meant to be a party.

243
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:27,399
Can't we all just relax
and have fun?

244
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,239
I brought poppers.

245
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,440
Oh! She really does want to relax!

246
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:35,319
He means the other kind of poppers.

247
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,079
Amyl nitrate.

248
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:41,120
It's a sex aid.
Relaxes the anal muscles.

249
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,520
I think this is
the best night of my life.

250
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,039
Good God!

251
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:52,479
Oh, let her be, Geoffrey.
Scream if you want to go faster.

252
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,599
So, resolutions?

253
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:58,279
I've never seen the point in them.
I'm sure you can think

254
00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:01,719
of one or two bad habits
you want to change, Frank.

255
00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:03,639
No, not really.

256
00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:06,199
He's completely serious, isn't he?

257
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:07,759
The question is,
are you all capable

258
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:09,679
of taking a long, hard look
in the mirror?

259
00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:11,199
We know Geoffrey is.

260
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:14,479
Oh, give it a rest, Lee!
Dad didn't cheat.

261
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:15,879
If I'd have looked in the mirror,

262
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:18,000
the writing would have been
back to front.

263
00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:25,480
Oh, my God! It is!
How did he know that?

264
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:32,439
Well, I think
resolutions are a great idea.

265
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:35,639
And given that I'm the one
who's made all the fuss,

266
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:38,559
I'll step up and go first.
Well done, Lucy.

267
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:40,279
I know I'm not perfect.

268
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:43,400
No, no, it's true, I'm not.

269
00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:48,999
So... I'm going to make a change.

270
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:52,760
From now on, no more giving away
Lee's chocolates.

271
00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:58,759
What?

272
00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:01,559
Well, I think we're all just in awe
of that ruthless self-criticism,

273
00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:04,479
Lucy. I mean, have some compassion
for yourself, sweetheart.

274
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:05,839
You're only human.

275
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:08,399
Well, you seemed pretty annoyed
about it a minute ago.

276
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,879
Yeah, but... What?

277
00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:14,200
Let's just say I don't think it's
your worst habit - put it that way!

278
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:19,039
Go on. This will be interesting.

279
00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:20,719
Well done, Toby.

280
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:22,999
Perhaps next time
suggest something safer,

281
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,959
like Russian Roulette.

282
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,480
Only if I can go first.

283
00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:29,279
OK.

284
00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:31,119
I think your New Year's resolution

285
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:35,839
should be to stop taking your
dad's side against me in arguments.

286
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:38,839
I don't do that.
Yes, you do. Always.

287
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:40,159
No, she doesn't.

288
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,719
Lucy takes my side of the argument
when I'm right.

289
00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:45,319
No, she takes your side
every single time.

290
00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:46,640
That's what I just said.

291
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:53,000
Dad and I disagree about all
kinds of things. Give me an example.

292
00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:56,580
Brexit. Oh, good.

293
00:14:56,581 --> 00:14:58,399
Let's put Brexit on the table.

294
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:01,279
That always helps
bring everyone together!

295
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:05,440
Oh, Nigel Farage, Jeremy Corbyn,
Joris Bohnson.

296
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,519
I didn't say you agreed with him
about everything.

297
00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:14,479
I said that you take his side
when it's him against me.

298
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,479
Lee, you're her husband. So?

299
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:17,879
Well, there you go.

300
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:20,920
That would never have happened
if she always listened to me!

301
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:25,320
So, Lucy?

302
00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:29,439
OK.

303
00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:32,199
I've listened to what you've said,
Lee,

304
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:36,519
and maybe I do take Dad's side
against you a tiny bit too much.

305
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:42,119
So, I resolve to try and stop
doing that from now on.

306
00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:43,160
Good.

307
00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:46,879
And the one about
the chocolates as well.

308
00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:49,039
And the one
about the chocolates as well.

309
00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:50,679
That's great.

310
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:54,160
That's all I'm asking.
Thank you. You're welcome.

311
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:59,959
And now let's see what
I can come up with for you.

312
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,319
What?

313
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:03,879
Well, that's how you wanted
to do things, right?

314
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:06,879
We're coming up with resolutions
for each other?

315
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:09,639
Well, that's not exactly
what Toby said, was it, Toby?

316
00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:11,039
Well, I think the general rule

317
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:13,280
is you come up
with your own resolution.

318
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:17,119
But rules can be flexible.

319
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:19,319
Like... jelly.

320
00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:21,320
So, where to start?

321
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:26,000
Biting off strips of fingernail
and using them as toothpicks?

322
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:30,079
Breaking wind, both ends?

323
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:34,240
And my favourite, the constant
rearrangement of testicles.

324
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:39,279
I mean, how complicated can it be?
There's a left one and a right one.

325
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:41,160
They're not a string
of fairy lights.

326
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:46,479
Oh, it's quite hard, this, isn't it,
choosing one bad habit?

327
00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:49,159
It's like being asked to choose
my least favourite child.

328
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:50,440
Charlie.

329
00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:55,479
Take a chill pill,
it was just a joke!

330
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:58,399
Yeah, she hates them all!

331
00:16:58,400 --> 00:16:59,999
What is he like?!

332
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,679
Mm, like a Poundland Jimmy Krankie.

333
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:05,399
That's it.
That's what you should change.

334
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,359
What? Making snide remarks
about people all the time.

335
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:11,439
Huh! Says you! You just made
loads of criticisms about me.

336
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:12,559
That's different.

337
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:14,999
Those remarks come
under spousal exception.

338
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,799
If I didn't point out your mistakes,
you'd have no friends left

339
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:19,880
and teeth like a mouth
full of Caramac.

340
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,239
I'm referring to the comments
you make about others.

341
00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:25,479
It's true, that.

342
00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:29,199
He's always making rude comments
about me. And not just about Frank.

343
00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:31,559
Lee's always making funny remarks
to hurt people.

344
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:33,479
I disagree. Thank you.

345
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,320
I mean I don't think they're funny.

346
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:42,759
You once said I was as pretentious
as a quinoa salad with subtitles.

347
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:44,680
TOBY LAUGHS

348
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:48,919
Mean!

349
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:53,399
And you said Geoffrey was
a pompous tosser. No, he didn't.

350
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,160
Didn't he?

351
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:59,599
Oh, well, you've got that
in your pocket for next time.

352
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,799
These are just light-hearted quips.
You can't hurt people with jokes.

353
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:04,239
Knock knock.

354
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:05,679
Who's there?

355
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:08,919
The woman who's sick of your passive
aggressive so-called banter,

356
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:10,719
when we all know
the underlying truth

357
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:13,599
is that you mean
most of what you say.

358
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,239
The woman's sick of your passive
aggressive so-called banter,

359
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:17,999
when we all know
the underlying truth

360
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,200
is that you mean
most of what you say, who?

361
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,199
I don't get that joke.

362
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:30,279
So that's Lee's resolution. No more
barbed remarks disguised as banter.

363
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:31,519
Are we all agreed?

364
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:33,879
ALL: Agreed.
Oh! This is a stitch-up!

365
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,719
That's not a resolution.
It's a bloody gagging order!

366
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:38,519
Perhaps we should stop this.

367
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,959
It was meant to be a bit of fun,
not day 21 of a divorce hearing.

368
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:44,639
That actually does sound like fun.

369
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:49,439
No chance! If we are dishing out
faults, everyone gets one.

370
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:50,959
Right.

371
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:52,200
Who's next?

372
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:57,599
All right, then. If everybody else
is too much of a snowflake

373
00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:01,039
to hear some hard truths,
I'll go next.

374
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:04,839
What's my New Year's resolution
going to be?

375
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:06,679
Come on, I can take it.

376
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,400
No need to hold back.

377
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:10,680
Not you.

378
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:13,599
If you're serious about this, Dad,

379
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:16,759
then Frank's input is
just as valuable as anyone else's.

380
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:18,959
OK, here we go, then.

381
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:23,519
Geoffrey, every time we're together,
you talk down to me.

382
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:24,759
Are you not going to say,

383
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,000
"It's impossible not to,
you bloody gnome"?

384
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:30,399
I'm listening, not speaking.

385
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,520
It's impossible not to,
you bloody gnome!

386
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,559
Carry on, please, Frank.

387
00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:41,559
You were saying that
I'm... condescending. No.

388
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:43,159
I said you talked down to me.

389
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:46,759
That's what condescending means,
you...!

390
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:52,799
Well, you probably already know
that, so therefore... I apologise.

391
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,999
And I might add, Geoffrey,
that from time to time,

392
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:59,399
your conduct strikes me
as somewhat...

393
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:00,719
How can I put it?

394
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,119
..pompous.

395
00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:05,199
Is that so? High-handed, superior,

396
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:08,839
as if one's excrement
emitted no odour.

397
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:12,839
Well, I'm sorry that you feel
so intimidated by my intelligence,

398
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:15,399
Frank.
Short of a surgical lobotomy,

399
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:20,159
any suggestions as to what I can do
to bring myself down to your level?

400
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:21,719
Got it.

401
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:25,279
I know what your resolution
should be. Go on. Two words.

402
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:28,239
A four-letter word,
followed by a three-letter word.

403
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:30,439
I knew this was asking for trouble.

404
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:33,839
"Good God!" What? "Good God!"

405
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:37,279
It's like your catchphrase
when you're acting all superior.

406
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:38,639
POSH VOICE: "Good God, Frank!

407
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,600
"You don't mix a 30-year-old Scotch
with a raspberry Tizer!"

408
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:47,999
He's right, Geoffrey! You do say
that all the time.

409
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,679
"Good dog, this.
Good dog, that."

410
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,559
"Good God!" See?

411
00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:55,879
So your resolution
is to stop saying, "Good God!"

412
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,519
Are you sure
that's all you want to suggest?

413
00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:01,959
You don't want this opportunity
to be wasted. What about you, Wendy?

414
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,680
Too late to stop her being wasted.

415
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:09,039
Anything that gets that rod
out of your backside.

416
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:12,079
Ooh! A bit of gossip there!

417
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:13,360
Who's Rod?

418
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:18,959
Well, that should be
an easy enough resolution.

419
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:20,920
Right, I think it's Frank's turn.

420
00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:24,799
Come on, everyone. Don't be shy.

421
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:26,239
It's a bit difficult, Dad.

422
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:29,639
I feel like if we take away your bad
habits, there wouldn't be much left.

423
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:32,359
Well, given that
Frank picked for Geoffrey,

424
00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:33,999
maybe Geoffrey
should pick for Frank.

425
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,959
The problem is there's such
an embarrassment of riches.

426
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:38,280
But without the riches.

427
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:41,799
Well, Geoffrey,
what's it going to be?

428
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,199
This thing's harder than it looks.

429
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:47,919
I'll bet that's not the first time
he's said that, Wendy.

430
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:49,759
And there we have it.

431
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:50,879
What?

432
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:52,599
Your resolution is to stop making

433
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:54,879
your grubby little
suggestive comments,

434
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,599
especially given that
the vast majority of them

435
00:21:57,600 --> 00:22:00,759
are directed at Wendy and myself.
Like when?

436
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:03,439
The time when we went ten pin
bowling for the twins' birthday.

437
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:05,119
I recall some lively discussion

438
00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:07,800
about where Wendy
and I learned to swing.

439
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:10,079
Oh, yes.

440
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:14,639
There was another good one about
the weight of Geoffrey's balls.

441
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:16,519
See? Wendy doesn't mind.

442
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:18,559
In her current state,
Wendy wouldn't mind

443
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,359
if you set fire to her cardigan,
but I mind.

444
00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:24,399
Anyone else want to chip in
with their opinion of me?

445
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:27,239
How honest are we being?
Not too honest.

446
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:28,839
It's a bit of fun.

447
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:30,719
Not an intervention.

448
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,719
Say what you like, sweetheart.

449
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:34,839
There's nothing you can say
that can offend me.

450
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,040
Good God!

451
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:39,840
Well...
Geoffrey's not using it any more.

452
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,039
I find your comments
come from a place

453
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:47,479
where you see women
simply as objects of sexual desire.

454
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:50,240
See? She gets
it's just a compliment.

455
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:54,279
I wasn't defending you.
I was attacking you.

456
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:55,479
OK, be honest.

457
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:58,919
Are you angry because I tend to
say them to Wendy and not to you?

458
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,519
It's only
because she's an oldie like me.

459
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:04,120
I'm quite happy to start aiming them
more in your direction.

460
00:23:05,120 --> 00:23:08,360
- Please, somebody stop him talking.
- Fine.

461
00:23:08,363 --> 00:23:10,719
You obviously all feel
very strongly about this,

462
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:14,119
so from now on, you will not hear
another dirty joke from me.

463
00:23:14,120 --> 00:23:16,039
Boring!

464
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:20,119
Perhaps you could just slip a little
one in every now and then.

465
00:23:20,120 --> 00:23:21,560
That was her, not me.

466
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:26,199
So no more crass innuendos
from Frank

467
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:29,919
and no more saying "Good God"
from Geoffrey.

468
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:33,199
Agreed? Agreed. Agreed.

469
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:34,959
Well, we seem to be making progress.

470
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,559
Perhaps that trifle
is safe after all.

471
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:41,080
Or should I say, nobody will be
getting their just desserts?

472
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,239
How many more trifle jokes
do you have?

473
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:45,400
Hundreds and thousands.

474
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:50,039
Please, just throw the trifle
at his head right now.

475
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:51,280
So who's next?

476
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:55,399
I think maybe it's time to do Wendy.

477
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:57,599
It's not a rude joke,
it's just a running order.

478
00:23:57,600 --> 00:23:59,240
Oh, good! It's my turn!

479
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,320
Have I ever presented Playschool?

480
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,719
Mum, I've told you,
we've stopped playing that game.

481
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:10,359
Oh.

482
00:24:10,360 --> 00:24:12,359
So what's Wendy's resolution
going to be?

483
00:24:12,360 --> 00:24:15,559
Yes, come on, you lot, bring it on.

484
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:17,680
What am I supposed to be
cutting back on?

485
00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:22,199
What?

486
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,519
Are you lot going to say it,
or am I?

487
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:26,799
I defer to the expert in the field.

488
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:30,519
OK, Wendy, no offence, love,

489
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:33,800
but perhaps you should
slow down a bit on those... crisps.

490
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:39,039
Well, someone had to say it.
There's none left for us!

491
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:42,399
The crisps aren't the issue!
They are for me.

492
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:43,839
I'm still Hank Marvin.

493
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:46,919
And I wouldn't be, if we didn't
have to wait until midnight

494
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:49,319
for a measly bowl of bloody trifle!

495
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,239
Not much longer, Frank.

496
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,319
Then, who knows,
you might just be getting it all!

497
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:56,960
What is it,
if it's not the corn procktail?

498
00:24:58,160 --> 00:24:59,959
The drinking, woman.

499
00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:03,879
Look at you, you're three sheets to
the wind. I am not! Course you are.

500
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:05,960
If I was drunk, could I do this?

501
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,839
Susie, Susie,
sitting in a shoe shine shop.

502
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,279
All day long, she sits and shines.

503
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,519
All day long, she shines and sits.

504
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:18,440
Susie, Susie,
sitting in a shoe shine shop!

505
00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:20,800
Oh!

506
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:26,359
Shit!

507
00:25:26,360 --> 00:25:27,719
Bloody hell!

508
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,839
All right, I've had a couple,
but I've not got a drinking problem.

509
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:34,119
I suppose she's got a point, Dad.
I mean, Mum hardly ever drinks.

510
00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:36,879
I know Wendy hardly ever drinks,
that's the point.

511
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:40,399
That's why she can't handle it.
Geoffrey's right, love.

512
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:43,080
You need to start doing it
at a more regular basis.

513
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:46,559
No, she doesn't!
She needs to stop altogether.

514
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:50,079
Ooh, so all he has to do
is stop saying "good dog",

515
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,679
whereas I am not allowed
occasionally

516
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:54,559
to dull the pain of existence...

517
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:57,519
Well, bollocks! Mum!
He's got a point, Mum.

518
00:25:57,520 --> 00:25:58,879
I mean, you hardly ever drink

519
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,079
but, when you do,
it does get a little messy.

520
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:04,039
Well, how dare you!
Give me one good example.

521
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:05,359
Our wedding day?

522
00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:08,879
Oh-ho! So now, a mother
is not allowed to have an open

523
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:12,679
and honest chat with her daughter
and son-in-law about lovemaking.

524
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,160
Not whilst they're doing it, no.

525
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:19,879
Fine. You obviously all think
I have a problem, so I'll stop.

526
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:23,160
I've only got ten minutes left,
I'm going to live them to the full.

527
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:26,320
That's my girl! Down in one!

528
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,039
OK, so that's my resolution.

529
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:35,239
On the stroke of midnight,
I will stop drinking forever.

530
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:37,279
And have a nice big bowl of trifle.

531
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,639
I don't think so, Mum.
It's full of sherry.

532
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:43,959
I promised to stop drinking alcohol,
I didn't say I wouldn't eat it.

533
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,599
I could do us
a lovely vodka sorbet, Wendy.

534
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:50,479
Oh, yes! Guess who's getting
the first kiss at midnight.

535
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:53,319
Ooh! Perhaps you'll turn
into a prince.

536
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:54,999
Or a frog.

537
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:56,320
Or a human.

538
00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:58,759
Right, well, there we are.

539
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:02,039
We've all been given resolutions
and we've all accepted them.

540
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:03,439
Well done, everybody.

541
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:05,039
Can I pop the television on

542
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:08,599
and we can see in the New Year
with Big Ben? Good idea.

543
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:10,719
Er, not so fast, you two.

544
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:11,959
It's your turn.

545
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:13,399
Us?

546
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:16,039
I-I thought
this was just a family thing.

547
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:17,959
Well, we all think of you as family.

548
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:19,999
Yeah, you're practically
the definition of it.

549
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:23,160
You're round here all the time
and you get on everybody's tits.

550
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:27,639
Well, I think this is what they call
the aggressive stage of drunkenness.

551
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:28,999
I wonder what's next.

552
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:31,919
Hopefully, unconsciousness.
Well, you've all done very well.

553
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,399
Why don't we just leave it there
and claim a victory?

554
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,599
I mean, it's nearly midnight.
He's got a point.

555
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:38,759
We're not going to fix Anna
before the deadline.

556
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:39,960
I'm sorry? Fix me?

557
00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:44,839
So I am broken, am I?
No, no-one's saying that, Anna.

558
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:48,360
Stop being so bloody passive, Toby!
That's exactly what he just said!

559
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:51,400
So, come on then, everyone.

560
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:57,520
What's wrong with me that's
so irredeemably awful? Sometimes...

561
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:02,439
..you leave the lid off
the toothpaste,

562
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:05,240
which is, you know,
really annoying.

563
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:08,080
Grr!

564
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:11,040
Stop being so pathetic, Toby.

565
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:13,879
Come on, tell me.

566
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:16,439
I've got one. No, you haven't.

567
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:18,239
You're very rude to people.

568
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:20,919
Is that right?
Anyone else want to agree?

569
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:24,079
No, no-one else wants to agree.
It's just the silly drunk lady.

570
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:27,439
It's true, Anna. You do sometimes
come across as rude.

571
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:30,319
Yes, rude and bossy.

572
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:32,159
I see.

573
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:33,799
I find it interesting that men

574
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:36,239
are never described as bossy,
only women.

575
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:38,120
Yeah, but only the bossy ones.

576
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:41,519
I've never been so insulted
in all my life.

577
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:44,519
Yeah, you have.
You just weren't there to see it.

578
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:47,479
Go on then, Lee. Give me an example
of when I've been rude and bossy.

579
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:50,119
All right, I will. Last week,
when us four went for dinner,

580
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:52,759
you said me wearing trainers
was inappropriate.

581
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:55,119
Well, what's wrong with that?
People have standards.

582
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:57,199
We were eating at your house.

583
00:28:57,200 --> 00:29:01,399
Well, even if that's rude,
which it isn't, how is it bossy?

584
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,160
You made me go home and change them.

585
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:07,479
Other people have
accepted their resolutions, Anna.

586
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:08,879
Well, I'm not like other people.

587
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:09,999
I can vouch for that.

588
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:12,759
I'm not going to change who I am
just to come down to your level.

589
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:14,519
Down to my level?!

590
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:16,559
I-I was talking to Lee.

591
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:20,359
Oh, I see. So Lucy's not below
your level, but I am!

592
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:21,559
I suppose by that logic,

593
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:23,679
does that mean that Lucy
married beneath herself?

594
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:25,239
I wasn't asking you.

595
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:27,759
I told you we should have
gone to Hampton Court.

596
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:30,880
I got my Hampton caught once -
dodgy zip on my jeans.

597
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:34,519
Well, why the hell should
I make any effort with my resolution

598
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:35,719
if she's bloody not?

599
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:39,839
And neither is Oliver Reed over
here, necking back a penis grigio!

600
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:42,599
You know damn well
it's called pinot grigio.

601
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:43,919
He really doesn't!

602
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:47,279
And that pompous get
isn't making no effort at all.

603
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:50,679
No need to get fractious with me,
you stupid little man!

604
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:53,199
You want to get fractures?
I'll give you fractures!

605
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:55,199
Fractious! With an I-O-U.

606
00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:58,120
You know, that thing you use as
payment at the working men's club.

607
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:00,519
What are you doing, Mum?

608
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:02,759
If we're forgetting
these bloody resolutions,

609
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:04,559
I'm saving some for tomorrow!

610
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:07,439
Mum, you're ruining the carpet!
Not to mention your liver.

611
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:09,679
Oh, get stuffed,
you boring old fart!

612
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:11,279
Well, isn't it a lovely evening?

613
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:14,319
Haven't you got a lemon
to suck or something?

614
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:18,039
Right, that's it! Dessert is served
and you're all getting some!

615
00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:19,080
Stop!

616
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:21,280
Lucy...

617
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:24,879
..put down the weapon...

618
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:27,360
..and step away from the trifle.

619
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:37,119
Come on, everyone!

620
00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:39,999
It's nearly midnight.
You were all starting to do so well.

621
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,079
Surely, we can do better than this.

622
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:44,919
We can't though, can we?
We've just proved it.

623
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:46,559
We're incapable of getting along

624
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,399
like the decent human beings
we're supposed to be.

625
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:50,599
Not all of us.

626
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:54,439
Yeah, don't start accusing my dad of
being a normal, decent human being.

627
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:56,679
See? You can't help yourself,
can you?

628
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:58,560
To be fair, none of you can.

629
00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:03,079
As a doctor,
I always say the same thing...

630
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:04,120
"Next!"

631
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:08,640
No, Frank, because I'm not
a doctor from the Beano.

632
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:13,999
I always say, "You've got to treat
the cause, not the symptoms."

633
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:17,199
So, recently, I cured a man
who'd had an awful rash for years,

634
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:19,519
and do you know how?
Because instead of giving him

635
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:22,279
the usual creams
to alleviate the problem,

636
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:25,680
I looked at the root causes and now
his rash has completely gone.

637
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:28,719
Toby? Yes, Frank?

638
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:30,039
Can I show you something?

639
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:31,240
No!

640
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:34,839
Maybe you guys need to start
doing the same thing.

641
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:36,839
Instead of simply telling people

642
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:39,159
that they have to
stop doing a thing,

643
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:41,000
ask why they do it
in the first place.

644
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:46,239
Why does Geoffrey always say
"Good God"?

645
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:49,279
Why does Frank always make
inappropriate comments?

646
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:52,359
Why does Lucy
always take her father's side?

647
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:54,239
Why can't Wendy handle her drink?

648
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:57,600
And why does Lee
always belittle people with jokes?

649
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:01,040
What about Anna being rude
and bossy?

650
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:03,880
Actually, can YOU say that one?

651
00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:06,079
I mean, the point is,

652
00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,679
if you ask yourself
why you've got these habits,

653
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:11,760
you've got a better chance
of making resolutions that stick.

654
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:15,759
OK, let's do it.

655
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:17,279
Lee first.

656
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:18,559
Why me? Why not you?

657
00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:20,639
Because your problem
is bigger than mine.

658
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:22,719
You always tell me
that size doesn't matter.

659
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:24,039
Does she?

660
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:25,239
No...

661
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:28,719
Lee, why do you always make jokes
at the expense of other people?

662
00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:29,800
I don't know.

663
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:33,759
I've always done it.
Ever since I was a kid.

664
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:36,599
That's true.
He was always a cheeky little sod.

665
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:37,719
How do you know?

666
00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:39,879
You were hardly ever there.

667
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:41,020
Maybe that explains it.

668
00:32:41,021 --> 00:32:42,159
How do you mean?

669
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:47,079
Well, didn't exactly have much
to rely on, growing up, did I?

670
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:50,559
So maybe I pretended not to care
and made jokes instead.

671
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:51,999
Trust me,

672
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:54,600
the class clown's not always
the happiest kid in the school.

673
00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,320
Unless it's a clown school.

674
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:01,519
So it's my fault?

675
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:04,119
Lee's not saying that, Frank,
are you, Lee?

676
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:05,800
Well, I haven't said it yet. Lee!

677
00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:11,079
No, of course I'm not saying
it's all your fault, Dad.

678
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:14,279
I've got to take personal
responsibility for my actions.

679
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:17,559
So, if Lucy wants me to stop
making jokey remarks about people

680
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:20,119
cos she thinks it belittles them,
then...

681
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:23,120
..that's what I'm going to
work hard on in the coming year.

682
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:28,079
Bloody hell! I never thought
that would actually work.

683
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:30,079
So, come on, Dad, your turn.

684
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:32,719
Lewd remarks to Geoffrey and Wendy.

685
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:36,839
There once was a woman from China,
Who had an enormous... Don't...

686
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:41,799
..make lewd remarks,
explain why you do them.

687
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:44,400
All right. Let's just
cut to the chase, shall we?

688
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:46,960
Lee's right.

689
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,119
I was a crap dad.

690
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:51,879
And I still am.

691
00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:57,039
Meanwhile, Wendy and Geoffrey,
they've been, well...

692
00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:58,399
..perfect.

693
00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:02,279
We're hardly perfect.
Let the man finish, Wendy.

694
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:06,359
You two brought Lucy up properly,
so I've always felt a bit...

695
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:10,040
Overshadowed? Inadequate?
Dishevelled?

696
00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:13,159
It's fair to say that
when we all get together,

697
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:18,560
I often feel second best
to Geoffrey and Wendy, as a parent.

698
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:22,679
And so I sort of hit back
the only way I know, I guess -

699
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:26,279
by making inappropriate comments,
which is...

700
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:29,319
Well, which are pathetic, I know.

701
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:33,279
Well, it's very big of you
to admit your failings, Frank.

702
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:37,040
Well done. Thank you, Geoffrey.
That's nice of you to say.

703
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:40,640
Now tell us all
why you're such a pompous tit.

704
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:45,799
Come on, Dad. Your turn.
Oh, all right.

705
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:50,559
If I must succumb to the same pound
shop Freudianism as the rest of you.

706
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:53,839
It's probably down
to Wendy's father.

707
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:55,559
He never really accepted me.

708
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:59,479
He always tried to make me
feel inferior. That's true.

709
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:02,799
He used to say some awful things
about poor Geoffrey.

710
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:04,839
He used to say
he wasn't good enough for me.

711
00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:06,239
Yes, he did used to say that.

712
00:35:06,240 --> 00:35:09,159
And that he was surprised
I even gave him a second look.

713
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:12,159
And I suppose in some ways,
it made me feel a little insecure.

714
00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:13,399
And if I'm honest...

715
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:16,839
And that he was too lanky and his
backside wasn't in proportion

716
00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:19,199
with the rest of his body.
..it made me feel...

717
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:22,239
And that he had a face
you'd never tire of slapping.

718
00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:23,800
We don't need them all!

719
00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:29,719
The point is, if I do
occasionally sound a little...

720
00:35:29,720 --> 00:35:32,559
A little pompous,
maybe that's the reason.

721
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:35,239
A defence mechanism
I adopted many years ago

722
00:35:35,240 --> 00:35:37,399
and, as a result, maybe I started

723
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:40,520
the habit of proclaiming,
"Good God!"

724
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:43,559
And I couldn't shake it off.

725
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:47,199
Shake It Off. You do know one
Taylor Swift song, then.

726
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:49,759
Well, he was wrong about you,
Pookie Bear -

727
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:52,519
you've got a beautifully pert bottom

728
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:56,600
and I, for one, never tire of
giving it a little cheeky squeeze.

729
00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:00,439
Please let this night end.

730
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:02,919
Yes, Lucy, I know, I'm drunk.

731
00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:07,199
And I suppose you're all wondering
why I struggle to hold my drink.

732
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:08,719
Don't worry, Mum. We know that one.

733
00:36:08,720 --> 00:36:11,799
It's because you hardly ever do it,
you've got nothing to explain.

734
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:16,079
Oh, I think I have. You really don't
have to do this, Wendy. No, no.

735
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:17,999
You've all been very honest and open

736
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:21,279
and now it's my turn
to bare everything.

737
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:23,640
Can I just do one more
before midnight? No!

738
00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:28,519
Do you remember
before you were born, Lucy?

739
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:29,640
It's a bit cloudy.

740
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:34,199
Well, my mother was
a very heavy drinker.

741
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:35,759
Really?

742
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:37,719
Grandma Ginny?

743
00:36:37,720 --> 00:36:39,200
Bit of a clue in the name!

744
00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:42,439
I didn't know that.
Of course you didn't.

745
00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:44,959
Why would you tell a child
that their grandparent

746
00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:46,959
is a terrible role model?

747
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:50,319
Exactly. Ours worked it out
from day one.

748
00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:52,439
So, when I had children of my own,

749
00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:55,039
I vowed that
I wouldn't be like my mother,

750
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:56,880
which is why I hardly ever drink.

751
00:36:58,360 --> 00:37:00,400
It's because of you,
my little princess.

752
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:03,879
I love you, Lucy.

753
00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:07,560
And I'm so pleased you got
your father's lovely little bottom.

754
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:10,800
So your turn, sweet cheeks.

755
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:14,679
Why do you always take
your dad's side against me?

756
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:16,160
Oh, I don't know.

757
00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:19,040
It just stops rows, I suppose.

758
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:23,679
I don't like things kicking off.
It makes me feel uncomfortable.

759
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:25,639
And why is that, Lucy?

760
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:27,160
Because it's embarrassing.

761
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:31,919
Especially in front of... outsiders.

762
00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:34,920
I feel like they're judging me.
What outsiders?

763
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:40,319
I'm sorry, are you talking about me?
Well, I...

764
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:41,999
You're my closest friend.

765
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:45,999
Anna would never judge you, Lucy.
Not without a fair trial.

766
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:47,840
Well... a trial.

767
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:51,719
I wouldn't judge you at all.
What right would I have?

768
00:37:51,720 --> 00:37:53,559
Toby and I argue all the time.

769
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:57,119
I know, but in lots of ways,
you're much more successful than us.

770
00:37:57,120 --> 00:38:01,439
More money, bigger house,
better careers... Oh, Lucy!

771
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:04,840
Who cares about stupid things
like who's got the nicer clothes?

772
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,079
I never mentioned clothes.

773
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:12,119
Well, whatever. Nicer handbag,
better make-up. What?!

774
00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:14,119
None of that matters.

775
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:16,479
Well, it matters to me.

776
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:19,719
I think that's why I try and put on
a good show for you, Anna.

777
00:38:19,720 --> 00:38:21,200
So you don't think of us as...

778
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:23,959
..rough.

779
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:27,079
Lucy, I have never
thought of you as rough.

780
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,559
What about me and me dad?

781
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:30,959
You can't make a nest of tables

782
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:34,159
without different
grades of sandpaper.

783
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:36,519
Go on, then, Anna. It's your turn.

784
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:40,159
So we're still saying
I'm rude and bossy, are we? I am.

785
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:41,919
And me.

786
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:44,080
No, I'm Spartacus.

787
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:47,399
OK.

788
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:48,440
Yes...

789
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:55,239
I am aware that occasionally
I can be assertive.

790
00:38:55,240 --> 00:39:00,319
And, yes, I appreciate
that can sometimes come across

791
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:04,279
as rude and bossy,
but I certainly don't mean to be.

792
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:05,640
You're not...

793
00:39:05,641 --> 00:39:06,999
Not when I'm mid-flow, Toby.

794
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:08,479
And I know I always come across

795
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:10,359
as the dominant one
in the relationship,

796
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:12,519
but that's because Toby
never gets angry.

797
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:13,959
I mean, look at tonight.

798
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:17,039
We've all been fighting and
Toby's been the one to make peace,

799
00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:19,680
every single time, and it's lovely.

800
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:24,399
It really is. But it means
I always have to be the bad guy.

801
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:27,479
Whenever we have to complain
to the neighbours or tell a friend

802
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:29,439
that we'd like things done
in a certain way,

803
00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:31,360
it's always down to me, because...

804
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:35,680
..well, Toby's just
too damn nice to do it.

805
00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:42,160
Yeah, he's like a little puppy dog,
aren't you, Toby?

806
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:48,279
We get it, Anna.
We don't mean to sound critical.

807
00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:50,479
It can't be easy for you.

808
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:52,239
It's not.

809
00:39:52,240 --> 00:39:57,279
Yes, there's a fine line between
affable and submissive, eh, Toby?

810
00:39:57,280 --> 00:40:01,199
Yeah, have a drink and man up,
you big softie.

811
00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:05,679
Hey, it's nearly midnight, Lee.
Get the telly on for the fireworks.

812
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:08,160
Don't ask Toby to do it,
he'll break a fingernail.

813
00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:13,719
Well, it looks like the trifle
is safe, Lucy.

814
00:40:13,720 --> 00:40:15,239
Yeah, we did it.

815
00:40:15,240 --> 00:40:17,919
We all learned a lot
about ourselves, that's for sure.

816
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:22,239
Yeah, I blamed my dad
for my problems, he blamed Geoffrey,

817
00:40:22,240 --> 00:40:26,159
Geoffrey blamed Wendy, Wendy blamed
Lucy, and Lucy blamed Anna.

818
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:29,519
And yet, all along,
it was little old Toby's fault.

819
00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:32,759
Yeah, that should be
your resolution, Toby.

820
00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:35,719
Grow yourself a backbone!

821
00:40:35,720 --> 00:40:38,559
Hey, he won't though,
the wafty old shuttlecock.

822
00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:40,060
Too busy wetting the bed!

823
00:40:40,061 --> 00:40:41,559
THEY LAUGH

824
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:43,280
Why don't you all BLEEP off!

825
00:40:47,040 --> 00:40:48,560
BIG BEN CHIMES ON TV

826
00:40:48,561 --> 00:40:50,079
I'm sorry? You heard.

827
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:52,159
Me growing BLEEP backbone?

828
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:54,679
You lot sit here
with all your BLEEP sob stories.

829
00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:56,999
Oh, boo-hoo!
Lee's dad was a meanie to him.

830
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:59,399
Poor old Frank, he's been
living in the shadow of Geoffrey.

831
00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:02,039
Poor old Geoffrey, he's been
living in the shadow of Wendy's dad.

832
00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:04,559
And poor old Wendy's mum
was a BLEEP pisshead.

833
00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:07,999
And poor old Lucy thinks
that my BLEEP nagging, bossy wife

834
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:09,359
is someone to look up to,

835
00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:12,599
rather than the tiresome BLEEP
gobshite she actually is!

836
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:14,759
Why don't you lot
just take responsibility

837
00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:17,639
for your own BLEEP ups
and behave like normal human beings,

838
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:20,159
you bunch of BLEEP?!

839
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:22,999
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

840
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:25,280
BIG BEN CONTINUES CHIMING

841
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:28,980
TV: Happy New Year!

842
00:41:28,981 --> 00:41:31,159
FIREWORKS BANG

843
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:36,039
♪ Should auld acquaintance be forgot

844
00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:40,360
♪ And never brought to mind?

845
00:41:41,480 --> 00:41:47,799
♪ Should auld acquaintance
be forgot... ♪

846
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:49,520
Good God!

847
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:55,599
♪ We're not going out

848
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:57,479
♪ Not staying in

849
00:41:57,480 --> 00:42:00,039
♪ Just hanging around
with my head in a spin

850
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:03,399
♪ But there is no need
to scream and shout

851
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:06,519
♪ We're not going out

852
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:09,120
♪ We are not going out. ♪