1
00:01:59,884 --> 00:02:00,884
Yes?

2
00:02:00,886 --> 00:02:01,885
Andrew Wyke?

3
00:02:01,887 --> 00:02:04,522
That's right.

4
00:02:04,524 --> 00:02:06,324
I'm Milo Tindle.

5
00:02:06,326 --> 00:02:09,026
Oh, yes. Good.

6
00:02:13,298 --> 00:02:14,765
Glad to meet you.

7
00:02:17,102 --> 00:02:19,437
You got the train to
Charlbury, did you?

8
00:02:19,439 --> 00:02:20,438
I drove.

9
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:21,939
Oh, you drove?

10
00:02:21,941 --> 00:02:23,274
That's my car.

11
00:02:23,276 --> 00:02:25,343
Oh, the little
one?

12
00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:26,344
Not the big one.

13
00:02:26,346 --> 00:02:28,279
No. The big one's mine.

14
00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:30,147
What do you
think of it?

15
00:02:34,185 --> 00:02:35,185
Very handsome.

16
00:02:35,187 --> 00:02:37,888
Yeah.
It is, isn't it?

17
00:02:40,692 --> 00:02:42,326
Come in.

18
00:02:47,349 --> 00:02:48,566
I was watching a video

19
00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:50,917
of one of my books
on television.

20
00:02:56,358 --> 00:02:58,392
Like the house?

21
00:02:58,394 --> 00:03:00,060
Extraordinary.

22
00:03:00,062 --> 00:03:01,395
You know who
designed it?

23
00:03:01,397 --> 00:03:03,930
Who the interior
decorator was?

24
00:03:03,932 --> 00:03:05,199
Yes.

25
00:03:05,201 --> 00:03:06,467
Your wife.

26
00:03:06,469 --> 00:03:08,101
You knew?

27
00:03:08,103 --> 00:03:09,970
Yes, I knew.

28
00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:12,406
I'll show you
around later.

29
00:03:12,408 --> 00:03:14,425
Have a drink.
I'm drinking vodka.

30
00:03:14,427 --> 00:03:15,242
Scotch, please.

31
00:03:15,244 --> 00:03:16,844
Scotch.

32
00:03:16,846 --> 00:03:19,379
Milo. What
an interesting name.

33
00:03:19,381 --> 00:03:20,748
You're a foreigner,
I take it?

34
00:03:20,750 --> 00:03:23,184
My father's
Italian.

35
00:03:23,186 --> 00:03:25,586
Milo sounds
Hungarian.

36
00:03:25,588 --> 00:03:27,822
Does it?

37
00:03:27,824 --> 00:03:29,757
Here's your Scotch.

38
00:03:32,961 --> 00:03:34,261
Cheers.

39
00:03:34,263 --> 00:03:35,996
Cheers.

40
00:03:37,682 --> 00:03:41,001
You sure your father
isn't Hungarian?

41
00:03:41,003 --> 00:03:42,203
Well, if he is,

42
00:03:42,205 --> 00:03:44,037
he's kept it a dead secret
for years.

43
00:03:44,039 --> 00:03:45,773
And your mother?

44
00:03:45,775 --> 00:03:46,874
English.

45
00:03:46,876 --> 00:03:48,809
So you're a kind
of half-breed.

46
00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:50,644
Huh.

47
00:03:50,646 --> 00:03:52,346
Sit down.

48
00:03:59,821 --> 00:04:01,622
Thanks for agreeing
to see me.

49
00:04:01,624 --> 00:04:02,923
Not at all.

50
00:04:02,925 --> 00:04:04,992
I didn't know you wrote plays
for television.

51
00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:07,695
I don't. I write crime novels.
You must know that.

52
00:04:07,697 --> 00:04:09,229
I had heard.

53
00:04:09,231 --> 00:04:11,231
But sometimes they're
adapted for television

54
00:04:11,233 --> 00:04:12,499
by other people.

55
00:04:12,501 --> 00:04:14,935
You know what the word
adapted means, I take it?

56
00:04:14,937 --> 00:04:16,937
Adapted?
Mm.

57
00:04:16,939 --> 00:04:19,172
They may not have
such a word in Italian.

58
00:04:19,174 --> 00:04:20,641
I speak English.

59
00:04:20,643 --> 00:04:22,209
Heh. Good.

60
00:04:22,211 --> 00:04:25,613
Come and have a look
at my, uh, special book room.

61
00:04:34,873 --> 00:04:36,807
These are
all my novels.

62
00:04:36,809 --> 00:04:38,976
You've read them,
I suppose?

63
00:04:38,978 --> 00:04:40,878
Afraid not.

64
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:41,879
Good God. No?

65
00:04:41,881 --> 00:04:43,380
What about--
What about this one?

66
00:04:43,382 --> 00:04:45,649
<i>Rat in a Trap?
No.</i>

67
00:04:45,651 --> 00:04:46,650
<i>The Obelisk?</i>

68
00:04:46,652 --> 00:04:47,818
No.

69
00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:48,819
<i>Blackout?
No.</i>

70
00:04:48,821 --> 00:04:51,321
<i>Dead Fish?
Afraid not.</i>

71
00:04:51,323 --> 00:04:53,356
God, you're
one in a million.

72
00:04:53,358 --> 00:04:54,391
Am I?

73
00:04:54,393 --> 00:04:56,560
Oh, absolu--
I'm very popular.

74
00:04:57,729 --> 00:04:58,946
You see
this shelf?

75
00:05:00,632 --> 00:05:01,866
Translations.

76
00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:05,403
French, Dutch, German.

77
00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:07,638
You speak Dutch
yourself, do you?

78
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,106
Yes, how did you know?

79
00:05:09,108 --> 00:05:10,674
I have a Dutch uncle.

80
00:05:10,676 --> 00:05:12,810
Can't see any Italian
translations.

81
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,112
No, they're a funny lot,
the Italians.

82
00:05:15,114 --> 00:05:17,180
Culture isn't really
their thing.

83
00:05:17,182 --> 00:05:18,916
Their salami's
good, though.

84
00:05:18,918 --> 00:05:19,950
Oh, is it?

85
00:05:19,952 --> 00:05:21,819
Italian salami?
Best in the world.

86
00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:23,621
Did you bring
any with you?

87
00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:25,155
No. I left it
at home.

88
00:05:25,157 --> 00:05:26,356
Oh, shame.

89
00:05:26,358 --> 00:05:28,058
We're gonna have it
for supper tonight.

90
00:05:28,060 --> 00:05:29,894
With a couple of bottles
of Valpolicella.

91
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:31,395
We?

92
00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:32,696
Maggie and me.

93
00:05:32,698 --> 00:05:33,898
Ah.

94
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,665
Your-- Your glass
is empty.

95
00:05:35,667 --> 00:05:37,167
What were you
drinking, vodka?

96
00:05:37,169 --> 00:05:39,637
Scotch.
Scotch.

97
00:05:51,483 --> 00:05:53,617
<i>I want to come
to the point.</i>

98
00:05:53,619 --> 00:05:55,319
<i>Point?
What point?</i>

99
00:05:55,321 --> 00:05:57,388
<i>Are you going to give
Maggie a divorce?</i>

100
00:05:57,390 --> 00:05:58,889
<i>And if not,
why not?</i>

101
00:05:58,891 --> 00:05:59,890
<i>Uh, yeah,
yes, yes,</i>

102
00:05:59,892 --> 00:06:01,492
<i>we'll come
to that.</i>

103
00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:03,594
<i>She thinks you're
being unreasonable.</i>

104
00:06:03,596 --> 00:06:05,362
<i>So do I.</i>

105
00:06:05,364 --> 00:06:07,131
<i>She's never coming
back to you,</i>

106
00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:08,732
<i>so why not just give her
the divorce?</i>

107
00:06:08,734 --> 00:06:10,834
<i>It'll do her good
to wait for five years.</i>

108
00:06:10,836 --> 00:06:12,303
<i>Good for
her character.</i>

109
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:15,005
<i>You're going to make
her wait five years?</i>

110
00:06:15,007 --> 00:06:16,073
<i>Well, that's
the law.</i>

111
00:06:16,075 --> 00:06:17,208
<i>The law of
the land.</i>

112
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,675
<i>But that's
pure spite.</i>

113
00:06:18,677 --> 00:06:21,612
<i>Anyway, we-- we'll
get back to that, perhaps.</i>

114
00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:22,879
<i>Have your
drink first.</i>

115
00:06:26,451 --> 00:06:28,702
<i>What do you do,
by the way?</i>

116
00:06:28,704 --> 00:06:30,521
<i>I'm
an actor.</i>

117
00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:33,090
<i>Good God.
Are you really?</i>

118
00:06:33,092 --> 00:06:35,092
<i>I thought Maggie said
you were a hairdresser.</i>

119
00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:38,329
<i>She must have been
talking about someone else.</i>

120
00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:39,997
<i>You mean
another friend?</i>

121
00:06:39,999 --> 00:06:41,632
<i>Another
friend?</i>

122
00:06:41,634 --> 00:06:43,800
<i>She tends to have
more than one friend.</i>

123
00:06:43,802 --> 00:06:44,801
<i>Does she?</i>

124
00:06:44,803 --> 00:06:45,802
<i>Oh, yes.</i>

125
00:06:45,804 --> 00:06:46,903
<i>I'm her
only friend.</i>

126
00:06:46,905 --> 00:06:48,272
<i>She must be
lonely.</i>

127
00:06:48,274 --> 00:06:50,073
<i>She's not.</i>

128
00:06:50,075 --> 00:06:53,944
<i>Acting is a pretty precarious
profession, isn't it?</i>

129
00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:56,329
<i>What are you acting in
at the moment?</i>

130
00:06:56,331 --> 00:06:58,349
<i>I'm out of work.</i>

131
00:06:58,351 --> 00:06:59,983
<i>Poor chap.</i>

132
00:06:59,985 --> 00:07:02,402
<i>I drive cars now
and again, chauffeuring.</i>

133
00:07:02,404 --> 00:07:04,187
<i>Oh. Tough life.</i>

134
00:07:04,189 --> 00:07:06,674
<i>I keep my head
above water.</i>

135
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:09,326
<i>What sort of parts
do you play?</i>

136
00:07:09,328 --> 00:07:12,562
Heh. Killers, mostly.

137
00:07:12,564 --> 00:07:15,765
Sex maniacs, perverts.

138
00:07:15,767 --> 00:07:17,167
But you're
so charming.

139
00:07:17,169 --> 00:07:20,304
Yes, I know. Anyway,
what about this divorce?

140
00:07:20,306 --> 00:07:22,339
What's your position,
exactly?

141
00:07:22,341 --> 00:07:24,474
All in
good time.

142
00:07:33,735 --> 00:07:35,301
Come in.

143
00:07:42,443 --> 00:07:46,013
Have a seat. Make
yourself comfortable.

144
00:07:51,886 --> 00:07:54,622
I understand you're
fucking my wife.

145
00:07:54,624 --> 00:07:56,289
That's right.
Right.

146
00:07:56,291 --> 00:07:58,208
Yes, right.

147
00:07:58,210 --> 00:07:59,976
So we've cleared
that up.

148
00:07:59,978 --> 00:08:00,844
We have.

149
00:08:00,846 --> 00:08:02,463
I thought you might
have denied it.

150
00:08:02,465 --> 00:08:04,798
Why would I deny it?
Well, she is my wife.

151
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,584
Yes. But she's fucking me.

152
00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:08,886
Oh, she's fucking you too, huh?
Well, I'll be buggered.

153
00:08:08,888 --> 00:08:10,721
Ha-ha. Sorry.

154
00:08:10,723 --> 00:08:11,889
Yes, it's mutual.

155
00:08:11,891 --> 00:08:13,490
You take turns?
We fuck each other.

156
00:08:13,492 --> 00:08:15,725
That's what people do--
Yeah, yeah, um...

157
00:08:15,727 --> 00:08:16,860
I follow.

158
00:08:20,481 --> 00:08:21,649
We're in love.

159
00:08:21,651 --> 00:08:23,434
You're in love?

160
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:25,001
That's right.

161
00:08:28,857 --> 00:08:30,190
Let me top you up.

162
00:08:39,668 --> 00:08:42,452
I heard a rumor that
you wanted to marry her.

163
00:08:42,454 --> 00:08:43,570
That can't be true,
can it?

164
00:08:43,572 --> 00:08:45,606
Why not?
In this day and age,

165
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,825
is marriage absolutely
necessary?

166
00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:49,710
Isn't it a bit old hat?
Is it?

167
00:08:49,712 --> 00:08:50,944
It's a mug's game.

168
00:08:50,946 --> 00:08:52,545
I wouldn't go near it
if I were you.

169
00:08:52,547 --> 00:08:53,814
Anyway, you can't
marry her.

170
00:08:53,816 --> 00:08:55,882
You can't marry her
because she's married to me.

171
00:08:55,884 --> 00:08:58,052
Unless I divorce her,
of course.

172
00:08:58,054 --> 00:08:58,986
And are you?

173
00:08:58,988 --> 00:09:00,187
Am I what?

174
00:09:00,189 --> 00:09:01,421
Going to divorce her?

175
00:09:01,423 --> 00:09:03,623
Or are you really gonna
make her wait five years?

176
00:09:03,625 --> 00:09:04,725
She wants to know.

177
00:09:04,727 --> 00:09:06,894
To be honest,
I can't wait.

178
00:09:06,896 --> 00:09:08,361
But there are
one or two things

179
00:09:08,363 --> 00:09:10,180
I'd like to
clear up first.

180
00:09:10,182 --> 00:09:11,765
For example...

181
00:09:11,767 --> 00:09:14,902
I've never heard of
an Italian called Tindle.

182
00:09:14,904 --> 00:09:16,669
My father's name
is Tindolini.

183
00:09:16,671 --> 00:09:18,155
Now, that's
lovely.

184
00:09:18,157 --> 00:09:20,273
That's like a l-- Little bell.

185
00:09:20,275 --> 00:09:22,225
Why don't you go back
to Tindolini?

186
00:09:22,227 --> 00:09:23,794
It suits you.
You think so?

187
00:09:23,796 --> 00:09:27,030
Yes. So if and when
you marry Maggie,

188
00:09:27,032 --> 00:09:29,499
she'll be Maggie
Tindolini.

189
00:09:29,501 --> 00:09:32,719
Do you get a kick out of that?
Mm.

190
00:09:32,721 --> 00:09:34,020
What name do you
act under?

191
00:09:34,022 --> 00:09:35,422
Tindle or Tindolini?

192
00:09:35,424 --> 00:09:37,591
Tindle.
Why have I never heard of you?

193
00:09:37,593 --> 00:09:38,926
You will...before long.

194
00:09:38,928 --> 00:09:41,095
Really?
In spades.

195
00:09:41,097 --> 00:09:42,980
That sounds threatening.
Does it?

196
00:09:42,982 --> 00:09:44,548
Doesn't it?

197
00:09:46,634 --> 00:09:50,270
Why don't we get down
to brass tacks?

198
00:09:50,272 --> 00:09:52,222
Brass tacks, yes.
Why not?

199
00:09:54,075 --> 00:09:55,642
This is the way
I see it.

200
00:09:58,212 --> 00:09:59,530
Come upstairs.

201
00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:02,098
I want to
show you something.

202
00:10:06,987 --> 00:10:08,522
Are you all right
in elevators?

203
00:10:12,293 --> 00:10:14,511
It won't make you sick
or anything, will it?

204
00:10:28,342 --> 00:10:30,677
This is our bedroom.

205
00:10:34,548 --> 00:10:35,982
And this...

206
00:10:37,651 --> 00:10:39,853
is my wife's
dressing room.

207
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:43,323
She left
a few dresses.

208
00:10:43,325 --> 00:10:45,425
Couldn't be bothered
to pick them up.

209
00:10:45,427 --> 00:10:46,693
They're worth
thousands.

210
00:10:47,762 --> 00:10:48,962
Thousands.

211
00:10:48,964 --> 00:10:50,631
This leather coat
alone,

212
00:10:50,633 --> 00:10:52,699
worth 5000 quid.

213
00:10:52,701 --> 00:10:54,368
So you see,
the thing is this.

214
00:10:54,370 --> 00:10:55,702
Uh...sit down.

215
00:10:59,740 --> 00:11:00,874
The thing is this:

216
00:11:00,876 --> 00:11:02,509
My wife spends money
like water,

217
00:11:02,511 --> 00:11:03,843
so if you're
not careful,

218
00:11:03,845 --> 00:11:05,045
she'll eat you

219
00:11:05,047 --> 00:11:06,980
out of house
and home.

220
00:11:06,982 --> 00:11:08,382
She was born
to luxury, you know.

221
00:11:08,384 --> 00:11:10,567
Jamaica, the Ritz,
the Swiss Alps.

222
00:11:10,569 --> 00:11:11,802
What are you?

223
00:11:11,804 --> 00:11:14,438
Out-of-work actor,
part-time chauffeur.

224
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:15,906
You're out of
your depth, old boy.

225
00:11:15,908 --> 00:11:17,574
You're on a hiding
to nothing.

226
00:11:17,576 --> 00:11:19,276
If you think
you're broke now,

227
00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:20,778
you'll be
10 times broker

228
00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:22,846
by the time she's
finished with you.

229
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,898
She'll have your guts
for garters.

230
00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:27,618
She's in love with me.

231
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:29,569
Oh, never trust
in love, chum.

232
00:11:29,571 --> 00:11:30,904
Love will kick you
up the arse

233
00:11:30,906 --> 00:11:32,405
as soon as
look at you.

234
00:11:32,407 --> 00:11:34,308
One minute,
it's love,

235
00:11:34,310 --> 00:11:36,243
10 minutes later,
it's contempt.

236
00:11:36,245 --> 00:11:38,111
That's your own
experience, is it?

237
00:11:38,113 --> 00:11:41,048
Oh, no, no, no.
That's observation.

238
00:11:41,050 --> 00:11:43,550
Don't forget,
I'm a novelist.

239
00:11:43,552 --> 00:11:44,868
I observe people.

240
00:11:46,487 --> 00:11:47,787
What I'm getting at
is this--

241
00:11:47,789 --> 00:11:49,890
Is you won't be able to
give her what she wants.

242
00:11:49,892 --> 00:11:50,991
So she's gonna
leave you,

243
00:11:50,993 --> 00:11:52,826
come back to me.

244
00:11:52,828 --> 00:11:54,061
And I don't want her
near me.

245
00:11:54,063 --> 00:11:55,729
I mean, that's
the last thing I want.

246
00:11:55,731 --> 00:11:57,681
I've had her
up to here.

247
00:11:57,683 --> 00:11:59,415
Anyway, I've got
this lovely mistress.

248
00:11:59,417 --> 00:12:02,051
She runs a-- A sauna in--
In Swindon.

249
00:12:02,053 --> 00:12:03,353
She's my girl.

250
00:12:03,355 --> 00:12:06,456
So you see, I want
Maggie to stay with you.

251
00:12:06,458 --> 00:12:08,191
I want...you two

252
00:12:08,193 --> 00:12:09,559
to be together
forever.

253
00:12:09,561 --> 00:12:11,127
But unless
you listen to me,

254
00:12:11,129 --> 00:12:13,262
the whole thing will be
a fucking disaster

255
00:12:13,264 --> 00:12:16,099
with catastrophic
consequences all round.

256
00:12:17,702 --> 00:12:19,736
But...

257
00:12:19,738 --> 00:12:21,437
I have a solution.

258
00:12:26,143 --> 00:12:29,412
You won't believe
what I'm gonna say.

259
00:12:31,215 --> 00:12:33,383
What are you
gonna say?

260
00:12:33,385 --> 00:12:36,119
I'm all ears.

261
00:12:36,121 --> 00:12:37,687
You know something?

262
00:12:37,689 --> 00:12:40,256
I'm beginning to respond
to your charm.

263
00:12:40,258 --> 00:12:41,925
Get away.
No, it's true.

264
00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:43,026
I'm really touched.

265
00:12:43,028 --> 00:12:45,161
You should be.

266
00:12:45,163 --> 00:12:47,030
Tell me, I-I bet
you didn't

267
00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:48,965
expect me to be
so intelligent.

268
00:12:48,967 --> 00:12:50,934
So...quick-witted.
Did you?

269
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:53,302
Oh. I did.

270
00:12:53,304 --> 00:12:54,771
Quite.

271
00:12:56,507 --> 00:12:58,041
Maggie told you,
did she?

272
00:13:02,146 --> 00:13:04,515
What's your solution?

273
00:13:08,403 --> 00:13:10,070
It's a close fit,
isn't it?

274
00:13:11,272 --> 00:13:13,173
For two.

275
00:13:21,015 --> 00:13:22,816
Listen...

276
00:13:22,818 --> 00:13:24,985
I'm going to make you
a proposition.

277
00:13:26,070 --> 00:13:28,488
A few years ago,
I gave her some jewels.

278
00:13:28,490 --> 00:13:30,958
Amazingly expensive.

279
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,744
Oh, I-- I didn't give 'em
to her. I-- I own them.

280
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:35,329
They're insured
in my name.

281
00:13:35,331 --> 00:13:38,515
But I let her use them
on special occasions.

282
00:13:38,517 --> 00:13:41,668
They're worth
1 million pounds.

283
00:13:41,670 --> 00:13:43,152
They spend half the time
in the bank,

284
00:13:43,154 --> 00:13:45,088
half the time
in the safe.

285
00:13:45,090 --> 00:13:46,206
At the moment...

286
00:13:46,208 --> 00:13:48,741
they're here in the house,
in the safe.

287
00:13:49,977 --> 00:13:51,378
And I want you...

288
00:13:52,980 --> 00:13:54,280
to steal them.

289
00:13:58,286 --> 00:13:59,319
Steal them?

290
00:13:59,321 --> 00:14:01,321
That's right.

291
00:14:01,323 --> 00:14:02,656
What the hell
do you mean?

292
00:14:02,658 --> 00:14:04,908
I want you to steal the jewels.

293
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:06,392
You want me to steal the jewels?
Mm.

294
00:14:06,394 --> 00:14:07,911
I don't get it.

295
00:14:07,913 --> 00:14:10,364
It's very simple. You steal
the jewels, sell them abroad,

296
00:14:10,366 --> 00:14:13,200
and you live happily
ever after with Maggie.

297
00:14:13,202 --> 00:14:16,035
I'll get rid of my wife
and I'll be like a pig in shit.

298
00:14:16,037 --> 00:14:17,937
And you can keep Maggie
in the manner

299
00:14:17,939 --> 00:14:19,590
to which she's become
accustomed.

300
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:23,193
You want me to take part
in a scummy little plot

301
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,379
to defraud your insurance
company, is that it?

302
00:14:25,381 --> 00:14:27,214
I thought it was quite elegant.

303
00:14:27,216 --> 00:14:28,632
What do you think I am?

304
00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:31,518
I mean, what the fuck are you
actually talking about?

305
00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:33,387
These are real facts.

306
00:14:33,389 --> 00:14:34,771
This is a joke.
No, it isn't.

307
00:14:34,773 --> 00:14:35,755
It's also a trap.
A trap?

308
00:14:35,757 --> 00:14:37,140
Yes, a trap.
You think I'm a fool?

309
00:14:37,142 --> 00:14:38,425
Well, are you?

310
00:14:38,427 --> 00:14:39,909
It doesn't hold up.
Why not?

311
00:14:39,911 --> 00:14:41,612
They're worth a million pounds?
Correct.

312
00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:43,981
You'd only get a fraction
of that from any fence.

313
00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:47,150
I have already contacted
a friend of mine in Amsterdam.

314
00:14:47,152 --> 00:14:51,288
And he will give you
800,000 pounds tax-free.

315
00:14:52,573 --> 00:14:54,073
Now, think about it.

316
00:14:54,942 --> 00:14:57,995
Eight hundred
thousand pounds...

317
00:14:57,997 --> 00:15:00,096
tax-free.

318
00:15:02,417 --> 00:15:04,001
Why would he do that?

319
00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:05,469
Because when you steal
the jewels,

320
00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:06,937
you will also steal
the receipts.

321
00:15:06,939 --> 00:15:08,889
So he'll have title
to the jewels,

322
00:15:08,891 --> 00:15:10,774
as well as the jewels
themselves,

323
00:15:10,776 --> 00:15:13,560
so that when he sells them,
he gets full value.

324
00:15:16,898 --> 00:15:18,782
Got it?

325
00:15:18,784 --> 00:15:19,949
Think about it.

326
00:15:21,119 --> 00:15:22,452
Take your time.

327
00:15:40,922 --> 00:15:42,822
And why would you
do all this?

328
00:15:44,125 --> 00:15:45,125
Listen...

329
00:15:45,127 --> 00:15:46,459
under this crooked
exterior,

330
00:15:46,461 --> 00:15:48,929
I am a simple,
honest man.

331
00:15:48,931 --> 00:15:50,997
Every word I've
told you is true,

332
00:15:50,999 --> 00:15:52,632
I swear it.

333
00:15:52,634 --> 00:15:54,000
I want to get rid
of my wife,

334
00:15:54,002 --> 00:15:56,185
but I want it
to be solid,

335
00:15:56,187 --> 00:15:57,203
permanent.

336
00:15:58,272 --> 00:15:59,806
I don't want her
on my back.

337
00:15:59,808 --> 00:16:01,674
I want her to stay
on your back.

338
00:16:01,676 --> 00:16:02,976
This is a frame-up.

339
00:16:02,978 --> 00:16:04,477
A frame-up?

340
00:16:04,479 --> 00:16:05,678
Yes.

341
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:08,415
You want to
destroy me.

342
00:16:08,417 --> 00:16:09,715
You want to see me
in jail.

343
00:16:09,717 --> 00:16:11,017
You want me to do this,

344
00:16:11,019 --> 00:16:13,353
and then shop me
to the police.

345
00:16:13,355 --> 00:16:15,188
No. No, no,
no, no.

346
00:16:15,190 --> 00:16:17,690
If-- If I shop you,
then you'll shop me,

347
00:16:17,692 --> 00:16:19,542
and then we'll both
end up in jail.

348
00:16:19,544 --> 00:16:20,626
No. I take

349
00:16:20,628 --> 00:16:22,395
a strictly moral
position on all this.

350
00:16:22,397 --> 00:16:24,397
My wife is
an adulteress.

351
00:16:24,399 --> 00:16:26,866
Actually, she should be
stoned to death.

352
00:16:26,868 --> 00:16:27,934
Anyway, it's
up to you.

353
00:16:27,936 --> 00:16:29,786
Make up
your own mind.

354
00:16:29,788 --> 00:16:31,288
You're asking me
to trust you?

355
00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:33,340
I don't give a fuck
whether you trust me or not.

356
00:16:33,342 --> 00:16:35,091
This is a simple
proposition.

357
00:16:35,093 --> 00:16:38,144
You have an expensive woman
and no money.

358
00:16:38,146 --> 00:16:40,180
You wanna keep the woman,
steal the jewels.

359
00:16:41,615 --> 00:16:43,083
Why won't you steal
the jewels

360
00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:44,217
and give them to me?

361
00:16:44,219 --> 00:16:47,153
Ah-ha. Don't--
Don't be a bloody fool.

362
00:16:47,155 --> 00:16:48,855
The burglary
has to be right.

363
00:16:48,857 --> 00:16:50,723
The house has got to be
broken into.

364
00:16:50,725 --> 00:16:51,924
Why don't you
break into it?

365
00:16:51,926 --> 00:16:53,659
For chrissake,
I'm in it.

366
00:16:53,661 --> 00:16:55,561
How can I break
into it? I live here.

367
00:17:24,374 --> 00:17:25,608
Okay.

368
00:17:25,610 --> 00:17:28,812
If I were to agree to do this,

369
00:17:28,814 --> 00:17:31,480
would you agree
to the divorce?

370
00:17:31,482 --> 00:17:33,316
Why should I give her
the divorce

371
00:17:33,318 --> 00:17:36,119
if you're both walking away
with 800,000 pounds?

372
00:17:36,121 --> 00:17:38,572
She wants a legal
settlement.

373
00:17:38,574 --> 00:17:40,106
She wants part of
your estate.

374
00:17:40,108 --> 00:17:41,174
Greedy.

375
00:17:41,176 --> 00:17:43,042
That's
legal justice.

376
00:17:43,044 --> 00:17:45,829
Never trust in
legal justice.

377
00:17:45,831 --> 00:17:47,530
You know what
legal justice is?

378
00:17:47,532 --> 00:17:50,633
It's farting "Annie Laurie"
through a keyhole.

379
00:17:52,970 --> 00:17:54,938
Listen.

380
00:17:54,940 --> 00:17:57,274
Eight hundred
thousand pounds...

381
00:17:57,276 --> 00:17:58,708
tax-free.

382
00:17:58,710 --> 00:18:00,944
All yours, in cash.

383
00:18:00,946 --> 00:18:02,712
Why don't you stop
pissing around?

384
00:18:02,714 --> 00:18:03,914
But...
wait a minute.

385
00:18:05,082 --> 00:18:07,784
You get a million
from the insurance.

386
00:18:07,786 --> 00:18:09,619
Sure I do.

387
00:18:09,621 --> 00:18:12,655
All right, uh-- I'll--
I'll be frank.

388
00:18:12,657 --> 00:18:13,990
I need it.
Cash flow,

389
00:18:13,992 --> 00:18:16,426
stocks, shares going down.

390
00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:17,660
Get me?

391
00:18:17,662 --> 00:18:19,429
Quid pro quo.

392
00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:21,397
You do me a favor,
I do you a favor.

393
00:18:21,399 --> 00:18:23,133
You keep the woman.

394
00:18:25,536 --> 00:18:26,736
Okay.

395
00:18:28,039 --> 00:18:30,473
Let's make a deal.
What deal?

396
00:18:30,475 --> 00:18:31,908
I break in...
Mm-hm.

397
00:18:31,910 --> 00:18:33,076
...I steal
the jewels.

398
00:18:33,078 --> 00:18:34,744
And you agree

399
00:18:34,746 --> 00:18:36,046
to the divorce.

400
00:18:37,548 --> 00:18:39,415
That's the deal.
Otherwise, fuck it.

401
00:18:39,417 --> 00:18:41,852
That's another
quid pro quo.

402
00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:43,419
But you have to
shake on it.

403
00:18:46,090 --> 00:18:48,158
All right.

404
00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:50,227
I'll shake on it.

405
00:18:50,229 --> 00:18:51,544
Here's my hand.

406
00:18:53,463 --> 00:18:54,564
Okay.

407
00:18:57,601 --> 00:18:58,868
Okay.

408
00:18:58,870 --> 00:19:00,603
So what do I do?

409
00:19:00,605 --> 00:19:01,805
You break in.

410
00:19:02,907 --> 00:19:04,991
You see that
skylight up there?

411
00:19:04,993 --> 00:19:07,711
Well, that window there
is the only one

412
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:09,546
that the burglar alarm
doesn't touch.

413
00:19:09,548 --> 00:19:10,613
You get in there.

414
00:19:10,615 --> 00:19:12,082
That's pretty
high up.

415
00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:13,783
Well, you climb
a ladder.

416
00:19:13,785 --> 00:19:15,452
I'm not very good
at heights.

417
00:19:15,454 --> 00:19:16,419
Oh, y-you can do it.

418
00:19:16,421 --> 00:19:18,555
Honestly, I--
I know you can.

419
00:19:18,557 --> 00:19:19,556
You're having
me on.

420
00:19:19,558 --> 00:19:21,591
Oh, come on.
Behave like a man.

421
00:19:21,593 --> 00:19:22,959
Man of action.

422
00:19:22,961 --> 00:19:24,461
You don't have to be
a hairdresser

423
00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:25,895
for the rest
of your life.

424
00:19:25,897 --> 00:19:28,030
You can be free,
independent,

425
00:19:28,032 --> 00:19:30,600
take care of the woman
you love.

426
00:19:30,602 --> 00:19:32,435
Listen.

427
00:19:32,437 --> 00:19:34,337
Put this on.

428
00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:36,806
I use it to communicate
with my gardener.

429
00:19:42,079 --> 00:19:43,980
Lovely. Actually, it suits you.

430
00:19:45,583 --> 00:19:48,434
This is what you do.
You go outside.

431
00:19:48,436 --> 00:19:49,836
Across the lawn,
there's a shed.

432
00:19:49,838 --> 00:19:51,704
Behind the shed,
there's a ladder.

433
00:19:51,706 --> 00:19:52,839
You take the ladder,

434
00:19:52,841 --> 00:19:54,507
put it up against
the wall of the house,

435
00:19:54,509 --> 00:19:57,043
and I direct you
through the earphone.

436
00:19:58,245 --> 00:19:59,278
Are you with me?

437
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:00,914
W-- Yes. Yes.

438
00:20:02,016 --> 00:20:03,516
But I'm anxious
and frightened.

439
00:20:03,518 --> 00:20:05,284
Trust me.
But I don't.

440
00:20:05,286 --> 00:20:07,186
Well, trust me
and all will be well.

441
00:20:07,188 --> 00:20:08,955
Just follow
my advice.

442
00:20:08,957 --> 00:20:11,223
It-- It's--
It's got to look real.

443
00:20:11,225 --> 00:20:13,309
We have to convince
the insurance people

444
00:20:13,311 --> 00:20:15,895
and the police,
if you see what I mean.

445
00:20:15,897 --> 00:20:18,164
Maggie never told me
you were...

446
00:20:18,166 --> 00:20:20,533
such a manipulator.
Heh.

447
00:20:20,535 --> 00:20:22,001
She told me you were
no good in bed,

448
00:20:22,003 --> 00:20:24,236
but she never told me
you were such a manipulator.

449
00:20:24,238 --> 00:20:26,505
She told you I was
no good in bed?

450
00:20:26,507 --> 00:20:28,074
Oh, yes.

451
00:20:28,076 --> 00:20:29,442
She was joking.

452
00:20:29,444 --> 00:20:30,944
I'm wonderful
in bed.

453
00:20:32,079 --> 00:20:33,713
I must tell her.

454
00:20:45,593 --> 00:20:46,876
There's the shed
across the lawn.

455
00:20:46,878 --> 00:20:48,094
Shed, yeah.

456
00:20:48,096 --> 00:20:49,963
There's the ladder
behind the shed.

457
00:20:49,965 --> 00:20:51,397
The ladder?

458
00:20:52,616 --> 00:20:53,716
The ladder.

459
00:20:55,936 --> 00:20:58,204
Inside the shed, there's
a pair of gardening gloves.

460
00:20:58,206 --> 00:20:59,305
You put them on.

461
00:20:59,307 --> 00:21:01,123
By the gardening gloves,
there's a hammer.

462
00:21:01,125 --> 00:21:02,675
You go round the back
of the house.

463
00:21:02,677 --> 00:21:04,527
You put the ladder
up against the wall

464
00:21:04,529 --> 00:21:05,744
by the lower roof.

465
00:21:05,746 --> 00:21:08,097
Then you carry the hammer
up the ladder

466
00:21:08,099 --> 00:21:09,432
onto the lower roof.

467
00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:11,984
Then you pull the ladder up
on to the main roof

468
00:21:11,986 --> 00:21:14,837
and break the skylight
window with the hammer.

469
00:21:17,391 --> 00:21:19,359
Ah. Heh.

470
00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:21,344
Wait a minute.

471
00:21:21,346 --> 00:21:23,362
You've forgotten
one major item.

472
00:21:23,364 --> 00:21:24,497
What?

473
00:21:25,816 --> 00:21:27,250
Once I'm in,
how do I get down?

474
00:21:27,252 --> 00:21:28,768
How do I get down
to floor level?

475
00:21:28,770 --> 00:21:29,935
Didn't I tell you?

476
00:21:29,937 --> 00:21:31,270
Oh. Sorry.

477
00:21:31,272 --> 00:21:33,556
You see that small
metal door up there?

478
00:21:33,558 --> 00:21:35,541
Inside there, there's
an electric ladder.

479
00:21:35,543 --> 00:21:37,443
You get through the window
onto the ledge,

480
00:21:37,445 --> 00:21:39,495
I press a button,
the ladder descends.

481
00:21:39,497 --> 00:21:40,930
You get on it
and climb down.

482
00:21:40,932 --> 00:21:42,032
Let me see it descend.

483
00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:43,415
What?
Let me see it come down.

484
00:21:43,417 --> 00:21:44,684
Now.
Sure.

485
00:22:01,051 --> 00:22:03,652
See? Easy as pissing.

486
00:22:08,676 --> 00:22:11,094
I have a funny feeling
that I'm a cunt.

487
00:22:11,096 --> 00:22:12,078
Course you're a cunt.

488
00:22:13,364 --> 00:22:15,565
But so what? You'll
end up a wealthy man.

489
00:22:16,867 --> 00:22:20,036
Obey the rules.
Just obey the rules.

490
00:22:20,038 --> 00:22:21,604
Whose rules?

491
00:22:21,606 --> 00:22:23,139
My rules.

492
00:22:24,942 --> 00:22:27,277
Go and get
the other ladder.

493
00:22:56,456 --> 00:22:57,973
Can you see the ladder?

494
00:22:59,610 --> 00:23:01,928
<i>Ah, ha-ha-ha.
Heh-heh.</i>

495
00:23:01,930 --> 00:23:03,846
<i>Can I see the ladder?</i>

496
00:23:16,643 --> 00:23:19,378
Place the ladder
against the wall.

497
00:23:19,380 --> 00:23:20,746
<i>Okay.</i>

498
00:23:24,168 --> 00:23:25,919
Extend the ladder.

499
00:23:25,921 --> 00:23:27,337
<i>Okay.</i>

500
00:23:30,925 --> 00:23:33,726
<i>Climb up the ladder--
Okay!</i>

501
00:23:39,350 --> 00:23:41,067
Climb up the ladder.

502
00:23:42,086 --> 00:23:44,153
<i>Why am I doing this?</i>

503
00:23:58,003 --> 00:24:01,053
Keep calm. Keep calm.

504
00:24:01,055 --> 00:24:03,956
Keep coming.
Keep coming.

505
00:24:03,958 --> 00:24:05,157
<i>Watch your step.
Jesus.</i>

506
00:24:12,550 --> 00:24:14,384
Keep calm.

507
00:24:56,694 --> 00:24:57,760
Watch your step.

508
00:24:57,762 --> 00:24:59,729
<i>Oh, I'm gonna die.</i>

509
00:24:59,731 --> 00:25:01,264
Ahh!

510
00:25:01,266 --> 00:25:02,148
Fuck!

511
00:25:03,517 --> 00:25:05,518
Don't stop. Keep going.

512
00:25:06,937 --> 00:25:08,137
Don't look down.

513
00:25:10,491 --> 00:25:11,624
You're at
the window.

514
00:25:13,127 --> 00:25:14,009
Smash it.

515
00:25:24,622 --> 00:25:25,738
Fantastic.

516
00:25:28,759 --> 00:25:30,593
Where's the ladder?!
What ladder?

517
00:25:30,595 --> 00:25:32,462
The ladder!
Where's it gone?!

518
00:25:32,464 --> 00:25:33,846
It's not working.
There was always

519
00:25:33,848 --> 00:25:35,548
a dodgy fuse
on this. It--

520
00:25:35,550 --> 00:25:37,717
I'll phone the electrician
in the morning.

521
00:25:37,719 --> 00:25:39,435
In the morning?!
What about now?!

522
00:25:39,437 --> 00:25:40,686
No, no, he'll be in bed.

523
00:25:40,688 --> 00:25:42,138
You know these country people.

524
00:25:42,140 --> 00:25:44,774
Early to bed,
early to rise.

525
00:25:44,776 --> 00:25:46,342
He's a nice chap.
He's called Norman.

526
00:25:46,344 --> 00:25:49,578
Charming wife, Debbie.
Three delightful kids.

527
00:25:49,580 --> 00:25:50,980
Oh. I just
remembered.

528
00:25:50,982 --> 00:25:52,047
He's
on vacation.

529
00:25:52,049 --> 00:25:53,466
He's taken the kids
to Bermuda.

530
00:25:53,468 --> 00:25:54,983
What?

531
00:25:54,985 --> 00:25:57,570
So I'm stuck up here
for the rest of my life?!

532
00:25:57,572 --> 00:25:58,571
Have patience.

533
00:25:58,573 --> 00:26:00,990
Stoicism is what's
called for.

534
00:26:00,992 --> 00:26:02,709
Works wonders.

535
00:26:02,711 --> 00:26:03,943
Oh, wait a minute.

536
00:26:03,945 --> 00:26:05,878
There's an emergency
button on the wall.

537
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:07,997
You see it?

538
00:26:07,999 --> 00:26:10,850
That's it. Just press it
and all will be well.

539
00:26:14,139 --> 00:26:15,771
There it is.

540
00:26:23,013 --> 00:26:25,197
Careful. Be careful.

541
00:26:27,017 --> 00:26:28,734
That's it.

542
00:26:30,521 --> 00:26:32,855
Careful.
Is this as far as it will go?

543
00:26:32,857 --> 00:26:34,440
Jump.

544
00:26:34,442 --> 00:26:35,658
Oh--

545
00:26:37,093 --> 00:26:38,361
Oh! Christ!

546
00:26:38,363 --> 00:26:39,579
Wonderful.

547
00:26:39,581 --> 00:26:41,013
Very, very
impressed.

548
00:26:41,015 --> 00:26:43,282
<i>I thought I was gonna die!</i>

549
00:26:43,284 --> 00:26:45,618
You will.
So what the fuck do I do now?

550
00:26:45,620 --> 00:26:46,769
You open
the safe.

551
00:26:46,771 --> 00:26:48,337
Where is it?
How do I open it?

552
00:26:48,339 --> 00:26:50,840
Wait a minute. You don't
know where it is.

553
00:26:50,842 --> 00:26:53,025
You've got to find it.
You've got to look for it.

554
00:26:53,027 --> 00:26:55,294
Where is it? Start
in the bedroom.

555
00:26:56,547 --> 00:26:57,496
How are you feeling?

556
00:26:57,498 --> 00:26:58,730
Okay. All right.

557
00:26:58,732 --> 00:27:00,166
Excited?

558
00:27:00,168 --> 00:27:01,467
Quite, yes.

559
00:27:01,469 --> 00:27:02,568
You're a cool
customer.

560
00:27:02,570 --> 00:27:04,771
I like that.
Okay.

561
00:27:04,773 --> 00:27:06,856
Open the wardrobe.
Open the drawers.

562
00:27:06,858 --> 00:27:07,990
Uh, throw things
around.

563
00:27:07,992 --> 00:27:09,292
You're looking
for the safe.

564
00:27:09,294 --> 00:27:10,893
I-- It's up here
somewhere.

565
00:27:10,895 --> 00:27:12,094
Play it
for real.

566
00:27:12,096 --> 00:27:14,197
Kick the place
to death.

567
00:27:14,199 --> 00:27:15,948
You're a desperate man.

568
00:27:15,950 --> 00:27:17,716
Safes are always kept

569
00:27:17,718 --> 00:27:19,151
behind paintings,
aren't they?

570
00:27:19,153 --> 00:27:20,886
What are you
doing?

571
00:27:20,888 --> 00:27:23,388
I'm a desperate man, aren't I?
That's what you said.

572
00:27:23,390 --> 00:27:25,324
The man's
a barbarian.

573
00:27:25,326 --> 00:27:27,376
Oh, where's
the fucking safe?!

574
00:27:27,378 --> 00:27:28,928
Well, open
the chest of drawers.

575
00:27:30,981 --> 00:27:32,215
It's locked.

576
00:27:32,217 --> 00:27:33,032
Kick it to death.

577
00:27:37,871 --> 00:27:39,021
And this...

578
00:27:39,023 --> 00:27:40,506
is where
I hear you.

579
00:27:40,508 --> 00:27:42,008
You hear me?

580
00:27:42,010 --> 00:27:44,010
Yes, uh-- I'm
asleep in the study.

581
00:27:44,012 --> 00:27:45,544
That's where
I sleep these days.

582
00:27:45,546 --> 00:27:48,080
I-- I can't sleep
in the bed

583
00:27:48,082 --> 00:27:49,815
without my wife,
you see.

584
00:27:51,735 --> 00:27:54,186
I hear you, I come into the bedroom...

585
00:27:54,188 --> 00:27:56,355
...and I find you.

586
00:27:56,357 --> 00:27:57,573
And then?

587
00:27:57,575 --> 00:27:59,609
I attack you.
How?

588
00:27:59,611 --> 00:28:01,828
Like this. And this.

589
00:28:02,747 --> 00:28:05,047
Oh, ha.

590
00:28:05,049 --> 00:28:06,115
Ooh-ho.

591
00:28:06,117 --> 00:28:07,934
Oh. That hurt.

592
00:28:07,936 --> 00:28:09,785
So sorry.

593
00:28:12,589 --> 00:28:13,739
Then...

594
00:28:13,741 --> 00:28:15,258
you get out
your knife.

595
00:28:15,260 --> 00:28:17,092
I don't have a knife.

596
00:28:20,097 --> 00:28:21,847
I do.

597
00:28:21,849 --> 00:28:22,882
You threaten me
with it.

598
00:28:22,884 --> 00:28:24,250
You're threatening me.

599
00:28:24,252 --> 00:28:26,769
<i>No. I'm playing you.
This is what you do.</i>

600
00:28:26,771 --> 00:28:28,971
You want to know where the safe is...
Mm.

601
00:28:28,973 --> 00:28:30,173
...what the combination is,

602
00:28:30,175 --> 00:28:32,608
so you terrorize me
with this knife.

603
00:28:32,610 --> 00:28:34,376
Take it easy.
Oh, you can see I'm ruthless.

604
00:28:34,378 --> 00:28:36,612
I'm unpredictable.
I'm probably a killer.

605
00:28:36,614 --> 00:28:38,397
And I am certainly...

606
00:28:38,399 --> 00:28:40,482
very, very dangerous.

607
00:28:40,484 --> 00:28:43,820
But you? You are
obstinate.

608
00:28:43,822 --> 00:28:45,154
Me or you?

609
00:28:45,156 --> 00:28:47,323
I-- I'm you,
you're me. Y-you get it?

610
00:28:47,325 --> 00:28:48,708
Mm.
Now...

611
00:28:48,710 --> 00:28:51,994
the jewels are worth
a lot of money.

612
00:28:51,996 --> 00:28:53,395
You won't
give in.

613
00:28:53,397 --> 00:28:55,798
But I...

614
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:57,733
...get out my gun.

615
00:29:00,972 --> 00:29:02,872
I'm-- I'm still you,
by the way.

616
00:29:02,874 --> 00:29:03,756
Yeah.

617
00:29:03,758 --> 00:29:05,925
But then, to
make it clear...

618
00:29:05,927 --> 00:29:08,010
that I mean
business...

619
00:29:09,814 --> 00:29:11,346
Bull's-eye.

620
00:29:12,484 --> 00:29:14,934
Bull's-eye. Heh.

621
00:29:14,936 --> 00:29:16,719
Finally,
you give in.

622
00:29:16,721 --> 00:29:18,488
You're-- You're
so terrified,

623
00:29:18,490 --> 00:29:20,022
you show me
where the safe is.

624
00:29:20,024 --> 00:29:22,024
It is...behind that.

625
00:29:23,243 --> 00:29:24,676
Magic.

626
00:29:24,678 --> 00:29:25,895
And you're
so frightened,

627
00:29:25,897 --> 00:29:28,197
you give me
the combination.

628
00:29:28,199 --> 00:29:30,432
19-11-94.

629
00:29:30,434 --> 00:29:31,467
Open it.

630
00:29:31,469 --> 00:29:34,170
Wait-- Wait a minute.
Am I-- Am I me now?

631
00:29:34,172 --> 00:29:36,805
Or are you me--?
No, y-- You're now you.

632
00:29:36,807 --> 00:29:37,874
You're now you.

633
00:29:37,876 --> 00:29:38,824
Me?
No, no.

634
00:29:38,826 --> 00:29:40,626
Or are-- Are y--
Are you still me?

635
00:29:40,628 --> 00:29:41,961
You're now you.

636
00:29:41,963 --> 00:29:44,663
And I-- I'm now me.

637
00:29:46,049 --> 00:29:47,332
Open the safe.

638
00:29:47,334 --> 00:29:49,851
1-9-1-1-9-4.

639
00:29:51,305 --> 00:29:52,838
It was our wedding day.

640
00:29:54,274 --> 00:29:56,908
The 19th of November...

641
00:29:56,910 --> 00:29:58,410
1994.

642
00:30:09,856 --> 00:30:11,323
Jesus.

643
00:30:17,747 --> 00:30:19,582
What do you
think?

644
00:30:21,134 --> 00:30:23,352
They're quite...

645
00:30:23,354 --> 00:30:25,354
beautiful.

646
00:30:25,356 --> 00:30:26,722
Put them
in your pocket.

647
00:30:29,242 --> 00:30:31,793
Eight hundred thousand pounds, eh?
Hm.

648
00:30:32,996 --> 00:30:34,146
That's what I said.

649
00:30:40,387 --> 00:30:42,137
Okay.

650
00:30:45,442 --> 00:30:48,260
So far, so good.

651
00:30:48,262 --> 00:30:50,663
Hey, you'd better give me
the address of that fence.

652
00:30:50,665 --> 00:30:51,831
What fence?

653
00:30:51,833 --> 00:30:53,532
Heh. The fence in Amsterdam.

654
00:30:53,534 --> 00:30:54,917
Oh. That fence.

655
00:30:54,919 --> 00:30:56,218
Listen...

656
00:30:56,220 --> 00:30:58,287
you put that gun down.

657
00:30:58,289 --> 00:30:59,054
Why?

658
00:31:01,207 --> 00:31:02,875
It's pointing directly at me.

659
00:31:02,877 --> 00:31:04,961
I'm not very happy about it.

660
00:31:04,963 --> 00:31:05,594
Why not?

661
00:31:07,513 --> 00:31:08,681
Look, is this a game?

662
00:31:08,683 --> 00:31:10,783
This is a real game.

663
00:31:13,370 --> 00:31:15,321
The real game...

664
00:31:15,323 --> 00:31:17,223
has just begun.

665
00:31:17,225 --> 00:31:19,442
What's the real game?

666
00:31:19,444 --> 00:31:22,528
You and me.

667
00:31:22,530 --> 00:31:24,380
You, defenseless.

668
00:31:24,382 --> 00:31:25,947
Me, with a gun.

669
00:31:27,550 --> 00:31:30,152
It's the end of
the jewelry story, you see.

670
00:31:31,671 --> 00:31:33,489
Oh, is it?
Yeah.

671
00:31:33,491 --> 00:31:34,690
I enjoyed it, though.

672
00:31:35,993 --> 00:31:37,460
I'm not enjoying this.

673
00:31:37,462 --> 00:31:38,944
Oh, I don't blame you.

674
00:31:39,863 --> 00:31:40,846
What--?

675
00:31:40,848 --> 00:31:42,715
What's it all about?

676
00:31:42,717 --> 00:31:43,882
Oh, come on.

677
00:31:43,884 --> 00:31:47,052
Buck your ideas up.

678
00:31:47,054 --> 00:31:48,287
You really didn't think

679
00:31:48,289 --> 00:31:51,156
<i>I was gonna let you have
my wife and the jewels?</i>

680
00:31:53,260 --> 00:31:54,526
You're joking.

681
00:31:57,064 --> 00:31:59,348
You've been leading me
up the garden.

682
00:31:59,350 --> 00:32:00,482
Right up.

683
00:32:01,885 --> 00:32:03,986
Stand on the bed.

684
00:32:16,366 --> 00:32:18,050
Listen. Wait a minute.

685
00:32:18,052 --> 00:32:20,385
Before you do
anything, um...

686
00:32:20,387 --> 00:32:22,154
there's something
I must tell you.

687
00:32:23,273 --> 00:32:24,540
What?

688
00:32:24,542 --> 00:32:26,342
Maggie
respects you.

689
00:32:26,344 --> 00:32:28,010
Really?
Yes.

690
00:32:28,012 --> 00:32:30,112
She often says, you are
a man of true integrity.

691
00:32:30,114 --> 00:32:32,682
That you're
a really decent guy.

692
00:32:32,684 --> 00:32:33,899
And she's right.

693
00:32:33,901 --> 00:32:35,351
I'm a really decent guy.

694
00:32:35,353 --> 00:32:36,969
I believe it.
She's quite right.

695
00:32:36,971 --> 00:32:39,087
I'm a really decent guy.

696
00:32:39,089 --> 00:32:40,022
I know you are.

697
00:32:40,024 --> 00:32:41,173
I know you are.

698
00:32:41,175 --> 00:32:43,375
And that's what
she often says.

699
00:32:43,377 --> 00:32:45,227
You're-- You're--
She admires your mind.

700
00:32:45,229 --> 00:32:47,296
She admires my mind?
Yes.

701
00:32:47,298 --> 00:32:49,398
Y-your-- Your mind
excites her.

702
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:50,649
Sexually?

703
00:32:50,651 --> 00:32:52,401
Very. Your mind excites
your wife sexually.

704
00:32:52,403 --> 00:32:53,502
What about my body?

705
00:32:53,504 --> 00:32:54,737
What about it?

706
00:32:54,739 --> 00:32:56,388
Well, w-what
does she say...

707
00:32:56,390 --> 00:32:57,706
about my body?

708
00:32:59,543 --> 00:33:00,692
Do you know,
I don't--

709
00:33:00,694 --> 00:33:02,745
I don't think she's
ever mentioned it.

710
00:33:02,747 --> 00:33:04,914
You're a prick.

711
00:33:06,283 --> 00:33:08,384
My prick-- Where does
my prick come into it?

712
00:33:08,386 --> 00:33:09,618
I can guess where
it comes in.

713
00:33:09,620 --> 00:33:12,855
But I wasn't talking
about your prick.

714
00:33:12,857 --> 00:33:15,523
<i>I was calling you a prick.</i>

715
00:33:15,525 --> 00:33:16,726
Oh, thanks.

716
00:33:16,728 --> 00:33:18,660
But you know what
you are now, though?

717
00:33:18,662 --> 00:33:20,045
What?

718
00:33:20,047 --> 00:33:21,280
You're a dead duck.

719
00:33:21,282 --> 00:33:22,732
Heh. Really?

720
00:33:22,734 --> 00:33:24,383
This is the way the story

721
00:33:24,385 --> 00:33:26,318
goes to the police.

722
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:29,455
I find you in my house,
you threaten me.

723
00:33:29,457 --> 00:33:31,340
You open the safe,
you take the jewels.

724
00:33:31,342 --> 00:33:33,025
You put 'em
in your pocket.

725
00:33:33,027 --> 00:33:34,643
I manage to
grab the gun

726
00:33:34,645 --> 00:33:36,412
while you're looking
at the jewels.

727
00:33:36,414 --> 00:33:39,115
There's a struggle.
The gun goes off.

728
00:33:39,117 --> 00:33:40,566
Suddenly,
I realize...

729
00:33:40,568 --> 00:33:41,617
you're dead.

730
00:33:41,619 --> 00:33:43,602
You're gonna shoot me.

731
00:33:43,604 --> 00:33:45,587
What do you think?
Why?

732
00:33:45,589 --> 00:33:49,425
I planned all this
from the word go.

733
00:33:49,427 --> 00:33:53,596
I've always longed
for an intimate chat...

734
00:33:53,598 --> 00:33:55,297
with a hairdresser.

735
00:33:55,299 --> 00:33:57,766
Especially a hairdresser

736
00:33:57,768 --> 00:34:00,102
who is fucking my wife.

737
00:34:00,104 --> 00:34:01,854
I'm not a hairdresser!

738
00:34:01,856 --> 00:34:03,772
My wife is mine!

739
00:34:03,774 --> 00:34:05,574
She belongs to me!

740
00:34:05,576 --> 00:34:08,010
And I'm her husband!

741
00:34:09,613 --> 00:34:13,649
And what you've done
is this:

742
00:34:14,951 --> 00:34:16,969
You've invited yourself

743
00:34:16,971 --> 00:34:18,503
to attend...

744
00:34:18,505 --> 00:34:20,156
your own death.

745
00:34:20,158 --> 00:34:21,490
P-- Please.

746
00:34:22,909 --> 00:34:24,026
No! Don't do it.

747
00:34:24,028 --> 00:34:25,261
Please don't
shoot me.

748
00:34:25,263 --> 00:34:27,529
<i>Please don't
shoot me. Please!</i>

749
00:34:27,531 --> 00:34:29,498
I'll just get in my car
and go, okay?

750
00:34:29,500 --> 00:34:31,667
That's all. You'll
never see me again.

751
00:34:31,669 --> 00:34:33,385
You're crazy.

752
00:34:33,387 --> 00:34:34,286
No, you're not crazy.

753
00:34:34,288 --> 00:34:36,238
You just--
You got things wrong.

754
00:34:36,240 --> 00:34:38,140
I don't want your wife.
I hate women.

755
00:34:38,142 --> 00:34:39,374
You hear me?
I hate women.

756
00:34:39,376 --> 00:34:40,559
I hate your wife!

757
00:34:40,561 --> 00:34:43,545
You've absolutely
no reason to be jealous.

758
00:34:43,547 --> 00:34:44,747
Women are not
my scene.

759
00:34:44,749 --> 00:34:47,516
I'd rather do it
with a dog or a goat.

760
00:34:47,518 --> 00:34:49,652
Or a b-- Or a boy
I-I knew at school.

761
00:34:49,654 --> 00:34:50,702
His name was Dooley.

762
00:34:50,704 --> 00:34:53,355
I called him Dolores.
I hate women!

763
00:34:53,357 --> 00:34:55,891
Honest.
God's honor.

764
00:34:55,893 --> 00:34:56,758
Oh.

765
00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:58,394
Do you believe in God?

766
00:37:38,571 --> 00:37:39,588
<i>Just shut up.</i>

767
00:37:42,375 --> 00:37:45,577
<i>I'm asking the questions,
not you.</i>

768
00:37:45,579 --> 00:37:48,046
<i>How long have you known him?
I don't know him.</i>

769
00:37:48,048 --> 00:37:49,564
<i>You don't know him?
I never met him.</i>

770
00:37:53,203 --> 00:37:55,570
<i>What are you?
A joker?</i>

771
00:38:41,868 --> 00:38:43,635
<i>Yes?</i>

772
00:38:45,071 --> 00:38:47,039
<i>Andrew Wyke?</i>

773
00:38:47,041 --> 00:38:48,773
<i>Yes.</i>

774
00:38:48,775 --> 00:38:51,210
<i>Detective Inspector
Black.</i>

775
00:38:51,212 --> 00:38:54,479
<i>New Scotland Yard.
Eddie Black.</i>

776
00:38:55,849 --> 00:38:58,283
<i>I'd like a word
with you.</i>

777
00:38:58,285 --> 00:38:59,785
<i>A word?</i>

778
00:38:59,787 --> 00:39:02,221
<i>That's right.</i>

779
00:39:02,223 --> 00:39:04,289
<i>What about?</i>

780
00:39:06,759 --> 00:39:09,094
<i>Hm. Can I
come in?</i>

781
00:39:09,096 --> 00:39:10,795
<i>Uh. Yes.</i>

782
00:39:10,797 --> 00:39:11,830
<i>Yes. Of course.</i>

783
00:39:14,268 --> 00:39:15,600
<i>Like a drink?</i>

784
00:39:15,602 --> 00:39:17,970
<i>Got any beer?</i>

785
00:39:17,972 --> 00:39:20,472
<i>Beer? Yes.</i>

786
00:39:20,474 --> 00:39:22,374
<i>You're the writer.</i>

787
00:39:22,376 --> 00:39:25,110
You write
crime books.

788
00:39:25,112 --> 00:39:27,545
That's right.

789
00:39:27,547 --> 00:39:30,282
I've read
a couple.

790
00:39:30,284 --> 00:39:32,251
Right on
the button.

791
00:39:32,253 --> 00:39:34,219
Oh, that's
a great compliment.

792
00:39:36,222 --> 00:39:38,991
How do you know
so much about it?

793
00:39:38,993 --> 00:39:40,525
What?

794
00:39:40,527 --> 00:39:42,094
Villainy.

795
00:39:42,096 --> 00:39:43,996
Crime. Horror.

796
00:39:46,032 --> 00:39:47,632
Imagination.

797
00:39:49,301 --> 00:39:51,436
Imagination.

798
00:39:51,438 --> 00:39:52,771
Clever.

799
00:39:52,773 --> 00:39:55,774
I do my best.

800
00:39:55,776 --> 00:39:57,475
Cheers.
Cheers.

801
00:40:03,482 --> 00:40:07,085
I see you've got
a broken window up there.

802
00:40:07,087 --> 00:40:08,420
Uh...

803
00:40:08,422 --> 00:40:11,507
tropical storm the--
The other night.

804
00:40:11,509 --> 00:40:13,108
Uh, bit of a hurricane.
Terrifying.

805
00:40:13,110 --> 00:40:16,311
A great branch
broke off a big tree

806
00:40:16,313 --> 00:40:19,314
and flew through the air
through the skylight, a--

807
00:40:19,316 --> 00:40:20,932
As you can see.

808
00:40:20,934 --> 00:40:22,901
Act of God.

809
00:40:22,903 --> 00:40:24,636
Had it in for you, did he?

810
00:40:24,638 --> 00:40:27,072
Who?
God.

811
00:40:27,074 --> 00:40:29,024
Oh, yes. He's always
been a vicious bastard.

812
00:40:29,026 --> 00:40:31,026
You know what God's
trouble is?

813
00:40:31,028 --> 00:40:33,128
What?
He has no father.

814
00:40:33,130 --> 00:40:34,763
He has no family roots.

815
00:40:34,765 --> 00:40:36,398
He's rootless.

816
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:38,734
Nowhere to hang
his hat, poor bugger.

817
00:40:38,736 --> 00:40:40,786
I pity him.

818
00:40:40,788 --> 00:40:43,889
That's a very interesting
philosophical speculation.

819
00:40:43,891 --> 00:40:46,658
Wait a minute. Aren't you
a well-known detective?

820
00:40:46,660 --> 00:40:47,859
No.

821
00:40:49,095 --> 00:40:50,262
Not me, mate.

822
00:40:50,264 --> 00:40:53,348
You're thinking
of another bloke.

823
00:40:53,350 --> 00:40:54,483
Haven't
I seen

824
00:40:54,485 --> 00:40:56,117
your picture
in the newspaper?

825
00:40:58,154 --> 00:41:01,056
Do you want to know
my opinion of the newspapers?

826
00:41:01,058 --> 00:41:02,223
What?

827
00:41:04,260 --> 00:41:05,894
Journalists are
a bunch of

828
00:41:05,896 --> 00:41:07,946
prick-teasing
cocksuckers.

829
00:41:07,948 --> 00:41:09,080
No.

830
00:41:09,082 --> 00:41:10,715
That's right.

831
00:41:10,717 --> 00:41:12,184
I'm sorry,
but isn't that

832
00:41:12,186 --> 00:41:14,236
a contradiction
in terms?

833
00:41:14,238 --> 00:41:15,453
Is it?

834
00:41:17,991 --> 00:41:20,242
So you're not
well-known?

835
00:41:20,244 --> 00:41:22,010
No. I'm a common-or-garden
copper.

836
00:41:22,012 --> 00:41:24,713
I just catch sex
criminals, perverts...

837
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:27,215
...homicidal maniacs.

838
00:41:27,217 --> 00:41:29,651
And what do you do
with them when you catch them?

839
00:41:30,986 --> 00:41:33,688
I generally
cut their balls off.

840
00:41:34,758 --> 00:41:36,491
I see.

841
00:41:44,434 --> 00:41:46,134
So...

842
00:41:46,136 --> 00:41:47,969
how can I help you?

843
00:41:47,971 --> 00:41:49,938
Yes, I think you can
help me.

844
00:41:49,940 --> 00:41:50,939
I think you can.

845
00:41:50,941 --> 00:41:52,140
How?

846
00:41:52,142 --> 00:41:53,308
I'm looking
into

847
00:41:53,310 --> 00:41:54,309
a
disappearance.

848
00:41:54,311 --> 00:41:55,477
Disappearance?

849
00:41:55,479 --> 00:41:56,878
Man called Tindle.

850
00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:58,596
Milo Tindle.

851
00:41:58,598 --> 00:42:01,183
Sorry, I-- I-- I--
I didn't get the name.

852
00:42:01,185 --> 00:42:02,750
What was it?

853
00:42:02,752 --> 00:42:03,685
Tindle.

854
00:42:05,171 --> 00:42:06,354
Tindle.

855
00:42:06,356 --> 00:42:08,690
Tindle.
Uh, um, oh.

856
00:42:08,692 --> 00:42:10,592
What about him?

857
00:42:10,594 --> 00:42:12,244
Do you know him?

858
00:42:12,246 --> 00:42:14,496
Know him?
Absolutely not.

859
00:42:14,498 --> 00:42:15,830
You mean you've
never met him?

860
00:42:15,832 --> 00:42:16,831
Never.

861
00:42:16,833 --> 00:42:18,282
Never even heard of him.

862
00:42:18,284 --> 00:42:20,368
That's funny.
Why?

863
00:42:20,370 --> 00:42:21,470
Well...

864
00:42:21,472 --> 00:42:23,472
he was staying at
the Red Lion in the village,

865
00:42:23,474 --> 00:42:25,107
where he mentioned
to the landlord

866
00:42:25,109 --> 00:42:26,274
he was coming
to see you...

867
00:42:26,276 --> 00:42:27,342
three nights ago.

868
00:42:27,344 --> 00:42:28,643
He hasn't been seen since.

869
00:42:28,645 --> 00:42:31,746
His bag's still in his room.
Shaving kit, all that.

870
00:42:31,748 --> 00:42:33,148
He was coming
to see me?

871
00:42:33,150 --> 00:42:34,649
That's right.

872
00:42:34,651 --> 00:42:36,501
He-- He mentioned it
to the landlord?

873
00:42:36,503 --> 00:42:38,786
Why would he mention such
a thing to the landlord?

874
00:42:38,788 --> 00:42:40,455
Well, you're
a famous writer.

875
00:42:40,457 --> 00:42:42,124
You're well-known
in the district.

876
00:42:42,126 --> 00:42:43,992
So how can you
help me on this?

877
00:42:43,994 --> 00:42:45,827
Uh, no one came to see me.

878
00:42:45,829 --> 00:42:47,095
I've no idea
who this man is.

879
00:42:47,097 --> 00:42:50,265
And I know no one
called, uh, Tindle?

880
00:42:50,267 --> 00:42:52,066
You don't,
eh?

881
00:43:00,943 --> 00:43:03,044
What are you,
a joker?

882
00:43:03,046 --> 00:43:04,846
What do you
mean?

883
00:43:04,848 --> 00:43:06,047
I mean, you're
pretty quick

884
00:43:06,049 --> 00:43:07,815
on your
feet.

885
00:43:07,817 --> 00:43:09,584
You should have been
a ballet dancer.

886
00:43:10,686 --> 00:43:13,955
I can just see you
doing pirouettes.

887
00:43:15,425 --> 00:43:16,625
Ever worn a pair
of tights?

888
00:43:16,627 --> 00:43:17,992
Not me.

889
00:43:21,597 --> 00:43:22,764
They'd
suit you.

890
00:43:25,001 --> 00:43:26,117
Nice house.

891
00:43:26,119 --> 00:43:27,185
Thanks.

892
00:43:28,755 --> 00:43:30,622
Design it yourself?

893
00:43:30,624 --> 00:43:31,456
It's 18th-century.

894
00:43:31,458 --> 00:43:32,958
No, no, I meant this.

895
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:34,459
The inside.

896
00:43:34,461 --> 00:43:35,760
That was my wife.

897
00:43:35,762 --> 00:43:38,129
Oh, your wife.
Is she here, by the way?

898
00:43:38,131 --> 00:43:39,331
No.

899
00:43:39,333 --> 00:43:41,132
Popped up
to London?

900
00:43:41,134 --> 00:43:42,767
She's not here.

901
00:43:42,769 --> 00:43:45,269
She's an interior
decorator, then.

902
00:43:45,271 --> 00:43:46,521
Something like that.

903
00:43:49,675 --> 00:43:51,709
Ah, it's a great
gift, isn't it?

904
00:43:53,981 --> 00:43:55,347
You're a lucky man.

905
00:43:57,183 --> 00:43:58,883
Got an ashtray?

906
00:44:05,057 --> 00:44:07,225
I'm ready for
another beer.

907
00:44:13,900 --> 00:44:16,567
A man was passing your house
three nights ago.

908
00:44:16,569 --> 00:44:18,636
He said he heard
shots.

909
00:44:18,638 --> 00:44:20,372
Passed my house?

910
00:44:20,374 --> 00:44:21,806
How could he do that?

911
00:44:21,808 --> 00:44:23,774
It's private property.

912
00:44:23,776 --> 00:44:26,577
He were taking
a shortcut.

913
00:44:26,579 --> 00:44:28,246
I think he's
a poacher.

914
00:44:28,248 --> 00:44:30,781
Anyway...says
he heard shots.

915
00:44:30,783 --> 00:44:32,717
What kind of shots?

916
00:44:32,719 --> 00:44:34,019
Gunshots.

917
00:44:34,021 --> 00:44:35,887
Fantasy.
Really?

918
00:44:35,889 --> 00:44:36,888
Bullshit.

919
00:44:36,890 --> 00:44:38,223
Codswallop.

920
00:44:38,225 --> 00:44:41,059
Who is this man?
Are you sure he exists?

921
00:44:41,061 --> 00:44:43,661
Oh, he exists
all right. Heh.

922
00:44:43,663 --> 00:44:45,130
By the way, cheers.

923
00:44:45,132 --> 00:44:46,764
Cheers.

924
00:44:49,068 --> 00:44:50,035
Ah.

925
00:44:51,303 --> 00:44:54,072
I do want to ask you
one more question.

926
00:45:02,498 --> 00:45:04,099
Ask.

927
00:45:04,101 --> 00:45:05,667
You do know your wife's

928
00:45:05,669 --> 00:45:07,636
living in London
with another man.

929
00:45:09,204 --> 00:45:11,372
That is my business.

930
00:45:11,374 --> 00:45:14,776
My private life
is my business.

931
00:45:14,778 --> 00:45:16,161
Do you know the name
of this man?

932
00:45:16,163 --> 00:45:17,979
Why should I answer
these questions?

933
00:45:20,683 --> 00:45:21,750
Well, you don't have to,

934
00:45:21,752 --> 00:45:23,885
but you'd be better off
if you did.

935
00:45:27,490 --> 00:45:30,942
I don't know
the man's name.

936
00:45:30,944 --> 00:45:32,410
I never asked.

937
00:45:34,881 --> 00:45:36,481
So you do admit

938
00:45:36,483 --> 00:45:39,217
that your wife's living
in London with another man?

939
00:45:40,235 --> 00:45:41,670
Yes.

940
00:45:41,672 --> 00:45:43,672
Yes.

941
00:45:43,674 --> 00:45:45,507
So what?

942
00:45:47,042 --> 00:45:49,544
Well...

943
00:45:49,546 --> 00:45:51,846
I can tell you
the man's name.

944
00:45:57,019 --> 00:45:58,269
It's Tindle.

945
00:46:00,106 --> 00:46:01,672
Milo Tindle.

946
00:46:06,011 --> 00:46:07,445
Is it?

947
00:46:07,447 --> 00:46:09,164
Yeah.

948
00:46:09,166 --> 00:46:11,298
The bloke who's
disappeared.

949
00:46:12,501 --> 00:46:15,269
The bloke who said
he was coming to see you.

950
00:46:15,271 --> 00:46:17,171
We found...

951
00:46:17,173 --> 00:46:19,106
this note
in his room.

952
00:46:19,108 --> 00:46:21,242
At the pub.

953
00:46:21,244 --> 00:46:24,045
"I look forward
to meeting you.

954
00:46:24,047 --> 00:46:27,615
"Come to the house
Friday, 6:30.

955
00:46:27,617 --> 00:46:28,883
Wyke."

956
00:46:30,185 --> 00:46:31,686
Is this
your handwriting?

957
00:46:33,055 --> 00:46:34,121
It is.

958
00:46:34,123 --> 00:46:36,691
Do you remember
writing this note?

959
00:46:38,060 --> 00:46:39,460
How could I forget?

960
00:46:39,462 --> 00:46:41,395
You forgot earlier.

961
00:46:41,397 --> 00:46:44,331
Said you didn't
know him.

962
00:46:44,333 --> 00:46:46,300
You said you'd
never met him.

963
00:47:06,421 --> 00:47:07,789
I was lying.

964
00:47:13,445 --> 00:47:15,296
Lying to the police.

965
00:47:16,799 --> 00:47:19,200
That will get you
nowhere.

966
00:47:23,005 --> 00:47:25,807
I don't understand you,
mate, honest.

967
00:47:25,809 --> 00:47:27,425
You're a clever man.

968
00:47:27,427 --> 00:47:29,010
You write clever books.

969
00:47:29,012 --> 00:47:31,529
But you've made a right balls-up
of this one, haven't you?

970
00:47:31,531 --> 00:47:32,747
Have I?

971
00:47:32,749 --> 00:47:36,868
Tindle came to see you
three nights ago.

972
00:47:36,870 --> 00:47:38,119
I knew him as Tindolini.

973
00:47:38,121 --> 00:47:39,170
Oh, I see.

974
00:47:39,172 --> 00:47:40,104
He had an Italian father.

975
00:47:40,106 --> 00:47:41,206
Get away.

976
00:47:41,208 --> 00:47:44,209
Traditional Italian
hairdressing family.

977
00:47:44,211 --> 00:47:46,628
Is he a hairdresser
himself?

978
00:47:46,630 --> 00:47:47,879
I think he is.

979
00:47:47,881 --> 00:47:49,013
He didn't come
all the way here

980
00:47:49,015 --> 00:47:50,632
to do your hair,
did he?

981
00:47:50,634 --> 00:47:51,916
Not at all, not at all.

982
00:47:53,970 --> 00:47:56,271
So, what did you two do

983
00:47:56,273 --> 00:47:57,605
when you got together?

984
00:48:00,343 --> 00:48:01,810
We played a game.

985
00:48:01,812 --> 00:48:03,862
A game?

986
00:48:03,864 --> 00:48:05,530
A game with a knife and a gun.

987
00:48:05,532 --> 00:48:07,131
A lethal game?
No.

988
00:48:07,133 --> 00:48:09,284
Just a bit of fun. That's all.

989
00:48:09,286 --> 00:48:11,736
Okay. A bit of fun.

990
00:48:11,738 --> 00:48:13,504
So he came to see you.

991
00:48:13,506 --> 00:48:17,626
<i>You played a game
with a knife and a gun.</i>

992
00:48:17,628 --> 00:48:19,461
Three shots were fired,

993
00:48:19,463 --> 00:48:20,829
then he disappeared.

994
00:48:20,831 --> 00:48:22,297
So where is he?!

995
00:48:22,299 --> 00:48:23,848
Probably cuddling my wife.

996
00:48:23,850 --> 00:48:25,333
That's the one thing
he's not doing.

997
00:48:25,335 --> 00:48:27,185
How do you know?
I've seen her.

998
00:48:27,187 --> 00:48:28,887
He was nowhere in sight.

999
00:48:28,889 --> 00:48:30,138
Hm. Mm.

1000
00:48:30,140 --> 00:48:31,755
No.

1001
00:48:31,757 --> 00:48:33,391
She's an anxious woman.

1002
00:48:33,393 --> 00:48:36,478
She knew he was coming
to see you, you see.

1003
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:38,295
In fact,
she insisted...

1004
00:48:38,297 --> 00:48:39,897
that he come
to see you,

1005
00:48:39,899 --> 00:48:42,033
as I know you know.

1006
00:48:44,519 --> 00:48:46,504
She thinks you may
have killed him.

1007
00:48:47,590 --> 00:48:49,958
She thinks you're
round the bend.

1008
00:48:51,677 --> 00:48:54,362
She thinks you're
a very dangerous man.

1009
00:48:54,364 --> 00:48:55,596
Me? She's joking.

1010
00:48:57,199 --> 00:49:00,267
So tell me, between ourselves...

1011
00:49:00,269 --> 00:49:01,535
did you kill him?

1012
00:49:04,323 --> 00:49:07,158
I'll tell you
exactly what I did.

1013
00:49:07,160 --> 00:49:09,227
I pretended to kill him.

1014
00:49:09,229 --> 00:49:11,061
I shot him with a blank.

1015
00:49:11,063 --> 00:49:13,864
I frightened the shit
out of him.

1016
00:49:13,866 --> 00:49:14,865
Your man was right.

1017
00:49:14,867 --> 00:49:17,535
Your spy...whoever he was.

1018
00:49:17,537 --> 00:49:19,370
There were three shots.

1019
00:49:19,372 --> 00:49:22,840
The first two were real.
The third one was blank.

1020
00:49:23,792 --> 00:49:25,292
He was
terrified.

1021
00:49:25,294 --> 00:49:27,494
When I shot him,
he fainted.

1022
00:49:27,496 --> 00:49:29,213
When he came round,
I gave him a drink,

1023
00:49:29,215 --> 00:49:30,448
pat on the bum,

1024
00:49:30,450 --> 00:49:31,549
he left the house,

1025
00:49:31,551 --> 00:49:33,518
his tail, if you want to
call it that,

1026
00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:35,286
between his legs.

1027
00:49:35,288 --> 00:49:37,122
And I haven't seen him since.

1028
00:49:37,124 --> 00:49:39,908
You gave him a pat
on the bum?

1029
00:49:39,910 --> 00:49:41,242
Metaphorically.

1030
00:49:41,244 --> 00:49:44,579
You gave him a metaphorical
pat on the bum?

1031
00:49:44,581 --> 00:49:46,331
Sure.
How did he take it?

1032
00:49:46,333 --> 00:49:48,416
What?
The pat.

1033
00:49:48,418 --> 00:49:49,934
He was fine. He told me

1034
00:49:49,936 --> 00:49:53,338
that it was game, set
and match to me.

1035
00:49:53,340 --> 00:49:55,906
So this guy
had a sense of humor,

1036
00:49:55,908 --> 00:49:57,258
is that what
you're saying?

1037
00:49:57,260 --> 00:49:58,460
Oh, yes. He left
the house

1038
00:49:58,462 --> 00:50:00,178
with a twinkle in his eye.

1039
00:50:00,180 --> 00:50:01,512
So tell me...

1040
00:50:01,514 --> 00:50:03,598
what was the point
of all this?

1041
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:04,716
Humiliation.

1042
00:50:04,718 --> 00:50:06,384
It's nice to see
your wife's lover

1043
00:50:06,386 --> 00:50:08,987
a shivering, frightened,
fucking wreck in front of you.

1044
00:50:08,989 --> 00:50:11,823
As a matter of fact,
I liked him.

1045
00:50:11,825 --> 00:50:13,391
I thought he was
attractive.

1046
00:50:13,393 --> 00:50:15,944
I thought we could have
become good friends.

1047
00:50:15,946 --> 00:50:18,229
The shortest way
to a man's heart,

1048
00:50:18,231 --> 00:50:20,764
as I'm sure you know,
is humiliation.

1049
00:50:20,766 --> 00:50:22,500
It binds you together.

1050
00:50:25,771 --> 00:50:27,605
You found him...

1051
00:50:27,607 --> 00:50:29,541
attractive?

1052
00:50:29,543 --> 00:50:31,793
I put myself in
my wife's shoes,

1053
00:50:31,795 --> 00:50:32,994
in a manner
of speaking.

1054
00:50:32,996 --> 00:50:34,295
I was trying
to find out

1055
00:50:34,297 --> 00:50:36,113
what attracted her
to him.

1056
00:50:38,267 --> 00:50:40,468
And did you?
Oh, yes.

1057
00:50:40,470 --> 00:50:41,952
He was really, uh...

1058
00:50:41,954 --> 00:50:43,655
terribly sweet.

1059
00:50:43,657 --> 00:50:45,974
I could see why
she fancied him.

1060
00:50:45,976 --> 00:50:47,592
Could see why he fancies her.

1061
00:50:48,643 --> 00:50:49,811
Really?

1062
00:50:49,813 --> 00:50:51,112
Found her very tasty
myself.

1063
00:50:51,114 --> 00:50:52,447
Is that so?

1064
00:50:52,449 --> 00:50:54,232
Oh, yes.

1065
00:50:54,234 --> 00:50:56,734
Sumptuous. Ready
for action.

1066
00:50:58,053 --> 00:51:01,222
I mean, I'm an
experienced detective.

1067
00:51:01,224 --> 00:51:02,289
So...

1068
00:51:02,291 --> 00:51:04,576
guess what I detected.

1069
00:51:04,578 --> 00:51:06,044
What?

1070
00:51:06,046 --> 00:51:07,661
That she's in love

1071
00:51:07,663 --> 00:51:09,197
with her own body.

1072
00:51:09,199 --> 00:51:12,367
Makes her dizzy
with excitement.

1073
00:51:13,669 --> 00:51:14,869
Mm.

1074
00:51:15,971 --> 00:51:18,223
You detected all this
in five minutes?

1075
00:51:18,225 --> 00:51:19,490
Well, 35.

1076
00:51:19,492 --> 00:51:21,059
Perhaps even 45.

1077
00:51:21,061 --> 00:51:23,061
Well, let's
call it 55,

1078
00:51:23,063 --> 00:51:25,063
or even a little bit
longer.

1079
00:51:25,065 --> 00:51:26,514
You stayed for tea?

1080
00:51:26,516 --> 00:51:28,782
And cakes.

1081
00:51:28,784 --> 00:51:30,468
Yeah.

1082
00:51:36,108 --> 00:51:37,475
Yeah.

1083
00:51:37,477 --> 00:51:39,444
Must be funny for you
to know

1084
00:51:39,446 --> 00:51:41,229
your own wife's getting
a good going-over

1085
00:51:41,231 --> 00:51:43,031
from another man
on a regular basis.

1086
00:51:43,033 --> 00:51:44,833
Going-over? I d--
I don't follow.

1087
00:51:44,835 --> 00:51:46,334
You don't?

1088
00:51:46,336 --> 00:51:47,935
Not a phrase
I'm familiar with.

1089
00:51:47,937 --> 00:51:49,236
Means being fucked.

1090
00:51:49,238 --> 00:51:51,623
Oh, you mean like in
sexual intercourse?

1091
00:51:51,625 --> 00:51:53,157
Yes, the old one-two.

1092
00:51:53,159 --> 00:51:55,376
In like a lion,
out like a lamb.

1093
00:51:55,378 --> 00:51:57,712
I must say, you have
a great gift for language.

1094
00:51:57,714 --> 00:51:59,514
Did you learn it at school?

1095
00:51:59,516 --> 00:52:01,382
family life.

1096
00:52:01,384 --> 00:52:02,583
But you keep cheerful.

1097
00:52:02,585 --> 00:52:04,252
You've got it,
I keep cheerful.

1098
00:52:04,254 --> 00:52:06,620
I've got
an optimistic nature.

1099
00:52:06,622 --> 00:52:08,122
You got to when
you're a policeman.

1100
00:52:08,124 --> 00:52:09,724
Otherwise, you'd go mad.

1101
00:52:09,726 --> 00:52:11,609
No. I'll tell you...

1102
00:52:11,611 --> 00:52:13,444
what keeps me
going.

1103
00:52:14,414 --> 00:52:15,446
The chase,

1104
00:52:15,448 --> 00:52:16,447
the thrill
of the hunt,

1105
00:52:16,449 --> 00:52:18,566
and the sudden shafts
of bright light.

1106
00:52:18,568 --> 00:52:20,368
For instance,

1107
00:52:20,370 --> 00:52:21,936
when I was talking...

1108
00:52:21,938 --> 00:52:23,337
to your wife--

1109
00:52:24,239 --> 00:52:26,640
Very attractive woman.

1110
00:52:28,594 --> 00:52:30,144
Wonderful legs.

1111
00:52:33,816 --> 00:52:37,669
Heh. She was crossing 'em
at the time, I remember.

1112
00:52:37,671 --> 00:52:39,053
--she suddenly said

1113
00:52:39,055 --> 00:52:42,306
<i>you had a murderous nature.</i>

1114
00:52:45,311 --> 00:52:48,263
Now, that really
made my nose twitch.

1115
00:52:48,265 --> 00:52:48,912
Itch?

1116
00:52:50,933 --> 00:52:52,299
Twitch...

1117
00:52:52,301 --> 00:52:54,168
mate.

1118
00:52:54,170 --> 00:52:56,070
Twitch.

1119
00:52:56,072 --> 00:52:59,506
So I'm looking at you
and I'm wondering...

1120
00:52:59,508 --> 00:53:01,375
what have you done
with the body?

1121
00:53:03,378 --> 00:53:04,612
Where's
the body?

1122
00:53:05,781 --> 00:53:08,182
Come on, I need
to know.

1123
00:53:08,184 --> 00:53:09,516
Where's the body?

1124
00:53:09,518 --> 00:53:10,918
What have you done
with the body?

1125
00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:12,352
There's no body.

1126
00:53:12,354 --> 00:53:14,221
<i>Don't fuck about.</i>

1127
00:53:14,223 --> 00:53:16,290
Don't bullshit me.
I won't stand for it.

1128
00:53:16,292 --> 00:53:18,492
Where's the body? In the house,
or did you shift it?

1129
00:53:18,494 --> 00:53:20,294
There is no body!

1130
00:53:23,465 --> 00:53:24,648
Ach.

1131
00:53:30,055 --> 00:53:31,205
Here. Look at this.

1132
00:53:31,207 --> 00:53:32,724
You've got holes in your walls.

1133
00:53:32,726 --> 00:53:33,941
Ah.

1134
00:53:35,344 --> 00:53:38,529
They're bullet holes.
Live bullet holes.

1135
00:53:38,531 --> 00:53:40,647
Yes, I-- I fired two live
bullets to set up the trick,

1136
00:53:40,649 --> 00:53:42,350
and one blank
to complete it.

1137
00:53:42,352 --> 00:53:43,985
It was a game,
I told you.

1138
00:53:43,987 --> 00:53:45,320
I-- I played it
to the hilt.

1139
00:53:45,322 --> 00:53:46,837
It's not worth
playing the game

1140
00:53:46,839 --> 00:53:48,156
unless you play it to
the hilt.

1141
00:53:48,158 --> 00:53:50,224
The third shot was a blank?
That's right.

1142
00:53:50,226 --> 00:53:51,175
What's that?
What?

1143
00:53:51,177 --> 00:53:52,226
Blood.
What?

1144
00:53:52,228 --> 00:53:53,861
Dried blood!

1145
00:53:53,863 --> 00:53:55,896
Some of it's not even dried.
It's still a little damp.

1146
00:53:55,898 --> 00:53:57,332
That's impossible.

1147
00:53:57,334 --> 00:53:58,499
That's blood, chum.

1148
00:53:58,501 --> 00:54:00,518
Whose blood is it?
It's impossible.

1149
00:54:00,520 --> 00:54:02,186
It was a game.
It was a blank.

1150
00:54:02,188 --> 00:54:04,822
No, no. It was a game with
real bullets and real blood.

1151
00:54:04,824 --> 00:54:06,341
This is a carve-up.

1152
00:54:06,343 --> 00:54:07,308
Let's see...

1153
00:54:07,310 --> 00:54:09,443
what else
is new around here.

1154
00:54:10,763 --> 00:54:12,680
Hello. What's this?

1155
00:54:12,682 --> 00:54:14,448
We've got a shirt,

1156
00:54:14,450 --> 00:54:16,184
jacket and trousers
screwed up

1157
00:54:16,186 --> 00:54:17,602
in the back of
your cupboard.

1158
00:54:17,604 --> 00:54:20,888
Very negligent of you, mate.
Unless they're not yours.

1159
00:54:20,890 --> 00:54:22,339
No, I don't think
they're yours.

1160
00:54:22,341 --> 00:54:24,525
I think they belong to Tindle.

1161
00:54:24,527 --> 00:54:27,612
You say he left the house
after you shot him.

1162
00:54:27,614 --> 00:54:29,580
Yes.
Naked?

1163
00:54:29,582 --> 00:54:31,449
I-I don't know how
those clothes got there.

1164
00:54:31,451 --> 00:54:34,035
So you made him strip
before you shot him?

1165
00:54:34,037 --> 00:54:35,820
Part of the humiliation,
was it?

1166
00:54:35,822 --> 00:54:37,505
No. The thing is this.

1167
00:54:37,507 --> 00:54:39,874
It might have
started as a game,

1168
00:54:39,876 --> 00:54:40,741
but it got out of hand.

1169
00:54:40,743 --> 00:54:43,277
The third shot was live!

1170
00:54:43,279 --> 00:54:44,796
It killed him!

1171
00:54:44,798 --> 00:54:47,215
So where's the body?!

1172
00:54:47,217 --> 00:54:49,634
I didn't kill him!
He's alive!

1173
00:54:49,636 --> 00:54:51,569
Bollocks. You're a joker, all right.

1174
00:54:51,571 --> 00:54:53,321
A real joker.

1175
00:54:53,323 --> 00:54:55,523
Come on. We're off
to the station.

1176
00:54:55,525 --> 00:54:56,707
Something
very wrong here.

1177
00:54:56,709 --> 00:54:58,309
Hey. Dead right.

1178
00:54:58,311 --> 00:55:00,444
- I'll tell you what you are.
- You're fucked.

1179
00:55:01,763 --> 00:55:03,113
Jesus Christ.

1180
00:55:03,115 --> 00:55:05,399
Don't struggle, chum.
I'll have you for breakfast.

1181
00:55:05,401 --> 00:55:07,035
There's something
very wrong here.

1182
00:55:07,037 --> 00:55:08,552
You're up shit
creek, Wyke.

1183
00:55:08,554 --> 00:55:10,721
You're up shit creek without a paddle.

1184
00:55:14,092 --> 00:55:15,609
Look at you.

1185
00:55:15,611 --> 00:55:17,011
All aquiver.

1186
00:55:18,162 --> 00:55:21,599
Who's the dead duck?

1187
00:55:24,387 --> 00:55:26,069
Jesus Christ.

1188
00:55:29,290 --> 00:55:32,060
<i>You're the dead duck.</i>

1189
00:55:35,797 --> 00:55:38,366
I just sucked you in

1190
00:55:38,368 --> 00:55:41,986
and blew you out
in little bubbles.

1191
00:55:41,988 --> 00:55:43,571
It's you.
It's me, all right.

1192
00:55:43,573 --> 00:55:46,457
You bastard. You stinking bastard.

1193
00:55:46,459 --> 00:55:49,327
It's a little game, Andrew.
Just a little game.

1194
00:55:49,329 --> 00:55:50,411
You shit.

1195
00:55:50,413 --> 00:55:51,629
I thought it might amuse you.

1196
00:55:51,631 --> 00:55:53,414
You're a total shit.
I know I am.

1197
00:55:53,416 --> 00:55:55,716
But you're also
a genius.

1198
00:55:55,718 --> 00:55:58,018
I know that too.

1199
00:56:00,038 --> 00:56:01,205
When did you
do all this?

1200
00:56:01,207 --> 00:56:02,673
The clothes
in the wardrobe?

1201
00:56:02,675 --> 00:56:03,641
The blood?

1202
00:56:03,643 --> 00:56:05,559
The blood belongs
to a pig's liver.

1203
00:56:05,561 --> 00:56:07,478
But when did you do it?
How did you do it?

1204
00:56:07,480 --> 00:56:09,981
I did it last night.
I used that ladder.

1205
00:56:09,983 --> 00:56:11,098
I heard you snoring.

1206
00:56:11,100 --> 00:56:12,967
Does Maggie know about this?
Your detective,

1207
00:56:12,969 --> 00:56:14,167
was it her idea?

1208
00:56:14,169 --> 00:56:15,236
How much does she know?

1209
00:56:15,238 --> 00:56:16,887
She knows nothing about it.

1210
00:56:16,889 --> 00:56:20,057
Entirely my own idea.

1211
00:56:20,059 --> 00:56:21,892
This is a game
between us...

1212
00:56:21,894 --> 00:56:23,411
old boy.

1213
00:56:23,413 --> 00:56:24,945
Between you...

1214
00:56:24,947 --> 00:56:26,246
and me.

1215
00:56:26,248 --> 00:56:27,581
Don't forget...

1216
00:56:27,583 --> 00:56:29,250
I'm half Italian.

1217
00:56:29,252 --> 00:56:30,818
We go in
for revenge.

1218
00:56:43,765 --> 00:56:45,132
<i>After all, you...</i>

1219
00:56:45,134 --> 00:56:47,100
frightened the life
out of me deliberately.

1220
00:56:48,269 --> 00:56:51,104
You fired two live bullets
into the wall...

1221
00:56:51,106 --> 00:56:52,706
and then you p--

1222
00:56:52,708 --> 00:56:55,008
You pointed
the gun at me.

1223
00:56:55,010 --> 00:56:56,660
And then you fired.

1224
00:57:01,049 --> 00:57:03,150
I don't like guns.

1225
00:57:04,036 --> 00:57:06,170
They kill you.

1226
00:57:08,941 --> 00:57:10,775
Okay.

1227
00:57:10,777 --> 00:57:12,877
So, what does this
make the score?

1228
00:57:14,345 --> 00:57:16,847
You've had
your revenge.

1229
00:57:16,849 --> 00:57:18,749
So...

1230
00:57:18,751 --> 00:57:21,218
what do you reckon?

1231
00:57:21,220 --> 00:57:23,588
One set all?

1232
00:57:23,590 --> 00:57:25,590
No, no, you're way ahead.

1233
00:57:26,858 --> 00:57:29,060
I only teased you
with my inspector,

1234
00:57:29,062 --> 00:57:30,828
gave you a few
goose pimples.

1235
00:57:32,163 --> 00:57:34,348
But you frightened me to death.

1236
00:57:36,252 --> 00:57:38,703
Did you really think I
was going to kill you? Ha-ha.

1237
00:57:38,705 --> 00:57:42,273
You fainted, you see.
It was a blank.

1238
00:57:43,525 --> 00:57:45,525
I may be three games up...

1239
00:57:45,527 --> 00:57:47,195
in the second set.

1240
00:57:47,197 --> 00:57:49,063
If I'd have killed you,
I'd have to bury the body

1241
00:57:49,065 --> 00:57:51,598
in the garden or--
Or somewhere.

1242
00:57:51,600 --> 00:57:52,950
Too exhausting.

1243
00:57:52,952 --> 00:57:54,752
But you won the first, 6-love.

1244
00:57:59,291 --> 00:58:01,775
So we're a long way
from one set all.

1245
00:58:07,482 --> 00:58:09,099
Oh, uh, by the way, I--

1246
00:58:09,101 --> 00:58:11,168
I spoke to Maggie.

1247
00:58:11,170 --> 00:58:13,220
I told her all about you.

1248
00:58:14,372 --> 00:58:16,357
She loved it.

1249
00:58:16,359 --> 00:58:18,643
Loved what?

1250
00:58:18,645 --> 00:58:21,461
That I frightened
the life out of you.

1251
00:58:21,463 --> 00:58:23,447
That you pissed
your pants.

1252
00:58:24,617 --> 00:58:27,717
And that you
actually fainted.

1253
00:58:27,719 --> 00:58:28,852
She said to me,

1254
00:58:28,854 --> 00:58:30,905
<i>"You mean
he actually fainted?"</i>

1255
00:58:30,907 --> 00:58:33,958
I said, "Dead out.
He was scared shitless."

1256
00:58:35,295 --> 00:58:36,527
Went out like a light.

1257
00:58:38,248 --> 00:58:40,131
She-- She laughed
so much,

1258
00:58:40,133 --> 00:58:42,583
I thought she was
gonna burst.

1259
00:58:46,855 --> 00:58:49,489
Oh, uh, incidentally...

1260
00:58:49,491 --> 00:58:50,975
she's coming back to me.

1261
00:58:50,977 --> 00:58:52,559
Oh, is she?

1262
00:58:52,561 --> 00:58:54,461
Yes, that's
right.

1263
00:58:54,463 --> 00:58:56,563
You know what
she said about you?

1264
00:58:56,565 --> 00:58:57,898
What?

1265
00:58:57,900 --> 00:58:59,650
She said:

1266
00:58:59,652 --> 00:59:03,070
"Faint heart never won
fair lady."

1267
00:59:04,990 --> 00:59:06,756
Is that a fact?

1268
00:59:06,758 --> 00:59:07,824
Yeah.

1269
00:59:09,294 --> 00:59:10,560
Listen...

1270
00:59:12,030 --> 00:59:14,064
I wanna show you something.

1271
00:59:14,066 --> 00:59:17,868
Go into your study
and sit down.

1272
00:59:19,854 --> 00:59:21,688
Go into my study?

1273
00:59:22,940 --> 00:59:24,775
And sit down.

1274
00:59:28,663 --> 00:59:30,464
What are you doing?

1275
00:59:30,466 --> 00:59:32,099
It's late at night.

1276
00:59:32,101 --> 00:59:33,417
You're reading a book
under a lamp.

1277
00:59:33,419 --> 00:59:34,285
Read something.

1278
00:59:34,287 --> 00:59:35,603
What--? What's going on?

1279
00:59:35,605 --> 00:59:37,138
Read a book.

1280
00:59:37,140 --> 00:59:39,523
It's late at night.
You're reading a book.

1281
00:59:39,525 --> 00:59:41,976
You hear something.
You look up.

1282
00:59:41,978 --> 00:59:44,111
It's me jumping off
the ladder.

1283
00:59:44,113 --> 00:59:45,813
You see me
with this gun.

1284
00:59:45,815 --> 00:59:47,781
You're caught...
like a rat in a trap.

1285
00:59:47,783 --> 00:59:50,117
You stare at the gun.
You're paralyzed.

1286
00:59:50,119 --> 00:59:51,402
I've come for
the jewels.

1287
00:59:51,404 --> 00:59:53,371
Where's the safe?!
What jewels?

1288
00:59:53,373 --> 00:59:55,122
The jewels.
Where's the safe?!

1289
00:59:55,124 --> 00:59:56,657
You know where the safe is.
I don't.

1290
00:59:56,659 --> 00:59:58,625
You don't?
Don't fuck me about. I mean it.

1291
00:59:58,627 --> 00:59:59,877
Get up.

1292
00:59:59,879 --> 01:00:00,928
Heh.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.

1293
01:00:00,930 --> 01:00:02,713
You think this gun

1294
01:00:02,715 --> 01:00:03,513
isn't real?

1295
01:00:04,633 --> 01:00:06,049
Oh.

1296
01:00:06,051 --> 01:00:07,951
Where is it?

1297
01:00:07,953 --> 01:00:09,519
Uh...upstairs.

1298
01:00:09,521 --> 01:00:10,904
Well, let's go upstairs.

1299
01:00:12,307 --> 01:00:14,107
Get up
these stairs,

1300
01:00:14,109 --> 01:00:16,593
or I'll ram this gun
right up your ass.

1301
01:00:18,181 --> 01:00:20,815
The safe is behind
the fish tank.

1302
01:00:20,817 --> 01:00:21,949
How am I gonna
get to it?

1303
01:00:21,951 --> 01:00:24,417
Well, you press the button,
and the button moves the tank.

1304
01:00:24,419 --> 01:00:26,904
Then press it.

1305
01:00:26,906 --> 01:00:29,256
I j-- I-it's not working.
It's out of ord--

1306
01:00:30,776 --> 01:00:32,493
What are you, a maniac?
You're crazy.

1307
01:00:32,495 --> 01:00:33,611
Open it.

1308
01:00:33,613 --> 01:00:35,162
I-I changed
the combination yesterday.

1309
01:00:35,164 --> 01:00:37,381
What is it?
Uh, uh, I forgot.

1310
01:00:37,383 --> 01:00:38,766
I can't remember.
Remember.

1311
01:00:38,768 --> 01:00:40,267
It's the truth.
I can't remember.

1312
01:00:40,269 --> 01:00:41,369
Remember!

1313
01:00:44,290 --> 01:00:46,540
What are you doing?
What are you gonna do?

1314
01:00:46,542 --> 01:00:47,725
I've broken into
your house

1315
01:00:47,727 --> 01:00:50,110
because I know you have
jewels in a safe.

1316
01:00:51,514 --> 01:00:53,214
I have inside
information.

1317
01:00:53,216 --> 01:00:54,382
I want them.

1318
01:00:54,384 --> 01:00:56,950
Remember the combination
and open it.

1319
01:01:03,508 --> 01:01:04,875
It was a blank.

1320
01:01:07,396 --> 01:01:09,230
The next one's real.

1321
01:01:27,499 --> 01:01:29,216
There's a good boy.

1322
01:01:46,868 --> 01:01:49,236
So, what are you writing
at the moment?

1323
01:01:54,242 --> 01:01:56,694
What am I writing?

1324
01:01:56,696 --> 01:01:59,012
Yes, I'm-- I'm very
interested in literature.

1325
01:02:03,118 --> 01:02:04,985
You mind if I have a drink?

1326
01:02:06,455 --> 01:02:10,174
Sure. It's your house.

1327
01:02:10,176 --> 01:02:11,825
I'm always
interested

1328
01:02:11,827 --> 01:02:14,879
in the people
I rob.

1329
01:02:14,881 --> 01:02:16,213
Like I'm always interested

1330
01:02:16,215 --> 01:02:18,966
in the husbands
of the wives I fuck.

1331
01:02:20,186 --> 01:02:21,285
Are you really?

1332
01:02:22,388 --> 01:02:23,820
Well, well.

1333
01:02:25,357 --> 01:02:26,690
Cheers.

1334
01:02:33,714 --> 01:02:36,283
So...

1335
01:02:36,285 --> 01:02:37,651
what are you writing?

1336
01:02:42,473 --> 01:02:45,993
It's the story of
a pathological killer. I--

1337
01:02:45,995 --> 01:02:48,262
<i>I call it
The Smiling Man.</i>

1338
01:02:48,264 --> 01:02:49,797
Does he come to
a bad end?

1339
01:02:49,799 --> 01:02:51,799
He dies during
the act of love.

1340
01:02:51,801 --> 01:02:52,816
Like countless others.

1341
01:02:52,818 --> 01:02:54,501
Countless
others, eh?

1342
01:02:54,503 --> 01:02:57,170
I see you've researched
the subject thoroughly.

1343
01:02:57,956 --> 01:02:59,306
What subject?

1344
01:02:59,308 --> 01:03:01,107
Death in orgasm.

1345
01:03:01,109 --> 01:03:03,510
Yeah. I-isn't that
a beautiful notion?

1346
01:03:03,512 --> 01:03:05,546
To die in the arms
of your beloved.

1347
01:03:05,548 --> 01:03:07,414
Can you--?
Can you imagine

1348
01:03:07,416 --> 01:03:09,416
anything more poignant?

1349
01:03:09,418 --> 01:03:11,418
I can't, no.
No.

1350
01:03:11,420 --> 01:03:13,387
You're a married man
yourself, aren't you?

1351
01:03:13,389 --> 01:03:16,190
Yeah. Been married 13 years.
Hm.

1352
01:03:16,192 --> 01:03:17,591
It was love
at first sight.

1353
01:03:17,593 --> 01:03:19,159
Very moving.
Yeah.

1354
01:03:19,161 --> 01:03:21,595
And we're still in love.
Like two peas in a pod.

1355
01:03:21,597 --> 01:03:24,030
Someone told me
your wife has a lover.

1356
01:03:24,032 --> 01:03:26,633
She has, yeah.
Do you know him?

1357
01:03:26,635 --> 01:03:29,369
No, I've never met him.
He's some sort of Italian.

1358
01:03:29,371 --> 01:03:31,838
Called, uh, Tandoori
or something.

1359
01:03:31,840 --> 01:03:34,140
One of the Bombay
Tandooris?

1360
01:03:34,142 --> 01:03:35,975
You've got it, yeah.

1361
01:03:35,977 --> 01:03:37,110
You know something?

1362
01:03:37,112 --> 01:03:39,513
I've never met
an artistic burglar before.

1363
01:03:39,515 --> 01:03:41,047
That's fantastic.

1364
01:03:42,650 --> 01:03:43,983
What's your background?

1365
01:03:43,985 --> 01:03:44,984
Me?

1366
01:03:44,986 --> 01:03:45,985
You.
Irish.

1367
01:03:45,987 --> 01:03:47,187
Oh.
Connemara.

1368
01:03:47,189 --> 01:03:50,056
Spanish descent. By way of Uganda.
Mm-hm.

1369
01:03:50,058 --> 01:03:51,658
My grandparents
were slaves.

1370
01:03:51,660 --> 01:03:53,427
My mother was
a dark-eyed,

1371
01:03:53,429 --> 01:03:55,061
dusky beauty.

1372
01:03:55,063 --> 01:03:56,230
Were you breast-fed?

1373
01:03:56,232 --> 01:03:58,031
Oh, sure.
Like a baby.

1374
01:04:00,235 --> 01:04:01,968
Shall I tell you

1375
01:04:01,970 --> 01:04:03,437
what I want you to do

1376
01:04:03,439 --> 01:04:05,071
with these jewels?

1377
01:04:06,807 --> 01:04:07,874
What?

1378
01:04:20,755 --> 01:04:24,991
You look
so charming.

1379
01:04:32,233 --> 01:04:34,134
How do you want it?

1380
01:04:34,136 --> 01:04:35,736
Like this?

1381
01:04:35,738 --> 01:04:37,003
Or...

1382
01:04:37,005 --> 01:04:38,656
shorter?

1383
01:04:38,658 --> 01:04:40,724
Hm? How about this?

1384
01:04:40,726 --> 01:04:43,894
Or even shorter,
like a halter? Mm?

1385
01:04:43,896 --> 01:04:45,795
You-- You're--
You're hurting me.

1386
01:04:45,797 --> 01:04:47,231
Oh, am I hurting you?

1387
01:04:47,233 --> 01:04:49,066
Yeah. Yes. Don't hurt me.

1388
01:04:49,068 --> 01:04:51,835
Are you sensitive
to pain? Hm?

1389
01:04:51,837 --> 01:04:53,269
Very. Very.

1390
01:04:53,271 --> 01:04:56,222
Oh, I wouldn't want to
hurt you, sweetheart.

1391
01:04:56,224 --> 01:04:59,043
You're
too much fun. Mm?

1392
01:04:59,045 --> 01:05:00,577
Am I really?

1393
01:05:00,579 --> 01:05:02,879
Oh, yes.
You're wicked.

1394
01:05:02,881 --> 01:05:05,382
I like that. Yeah.

1395
01:05:06,885 --> 01:05:08,585
Do you know something?

1396
01:05:08,587 --> 01:05:10,320
Uh?

1397
01:05:10,322 --> 01:05:12,956
I don't think these earrings
really suit me.

1398
01:05:12,958 --> 01:05:14,058
Tsk. Oh.

1399
01:05:15,726 --> 01:05:17,928
You're right.
Take 'em off.

1400
01:05:22,700 --> 01:05:24,667
Uh-- And, uh...

1401
01:05:24,669 --> 01:05:28,238
I don't think this bracelet
is really my style either.

1402
01:05:31,075 --> 01:05:32,542
But the necklace
is nice.

1403
01:05:32,544 --> 01:05:34,844
Mm.
Mm.

1404
01:05:34,846 --> 01:05:36,213
I'm not totally sure.

1405
01:05:36,215 --> 01:05:37,547
Listen...

1406
01:05:37,549 --> 01:05:39,049
you can play
with these jewels

1407
01:05:39,051 --> 01:05:41,285
till the cows come home.

1408
01:05:41,287 --> 01:05:44,221
They're yours. Do what
you like with them.

1409
01:05:48,342 --> 01:05:49,409
But, uh...

1410
01:05:49,411 --> 01:05:51,511
I thought you'd
just stolen them.

1411
01:05:51,513 --> 01:05:54,014
No, no! It was a game!

1412
01:05:54,016 --> 01:05:56,750
It was just a game!

1413
01:05:56,752 --> 01:05:59,520
I thought it might
amuse you.

1414
01:05:59,522 --> 01:06:01,438
Hm?

1415
01:06:12,984 --> 01:06:14,034
Huh?

1416
01:06:14,036 --> 01:06:16,203
Hm? Hm.

1417
01:06:16,205 --> 01:06:17,521
Well...

1418
01:06:19,424 --> 01:06:20,957
aren't you...

1419
01:06:20,959 --> 01:06:22,926
the wicked one?

1420
01:06:29,551 --> 01:06:30,633
Mm.

1421
01:06:30,635 --> 01:06:32,169
You remember what I said?

1422
01:06:33,855 --> 01:06:35,506
You won the first set, 6-love.

1423
01:06:35,508 --> 01:06:37,207
I was 3-love up
in the second.

1424
01:06:37,209 --> 01:06:38,742
Well...now

1425
01:06:38,744 --> 01:06:41,979
it's one set all.

1426
01:06:51,239 --> 01:06:53,273
But who's going to win...

1427
01:06:53,275 --> 01:06:55,408
the third set?

1428
01:06:57,328 --> 01:06:58,828
Remains to be seen.

1429
01:07:18,533 --> 01:07:20,033
You like games, don't you?

1430
01:07:21,085 --> 01:07:23,653
Some. Not all.

1431
01:07:23,655 --> 01:07:26,523
But you like
being in charge...

1432
01:07:26,525 --> 01:07:27,524
of the game?

1433
01:07:29,610 --> 01:07:32,178
Oh, yes. Sure.

1434
01:07:33,698 --> 01:07:37,034
I like a man who wants
to be in charge of things.

1435
01:07:37,036 --> 01:07:38,418
Do you?

1436
01:07:38,420 --> 01:07:39,685
Yes, I do.

1437
01:07:40,788 --> 01:07:43,289
Listen. You've met
my wife, I think.

1438
01:07:44,475 --> 01:07:46,442
I have met her.

1439
01:07:46,444 --> 01:07:48,712
Yes.

1440
01:07:48,714 --> 01:07:50,347
Did she say
if she had a husband?

1441
01:07:50,349 --> 01:07:51,632
Yes.

1442
01:07:51,634 --> 01:07:54,601
Yeah. She said
she had a husband.

1443
01:07:54,603 --> 01:07:56,887
How did she
describe him?

1444
01:07:59,607 --> 01:08:01,275
Remote. Cold.

1445
01:08:02,410 --> 01:08:04,011
Malevolent.

1446
01:08:04,013 --> 01:08:05,312
Spiteful.

1447
01:08:05,314 --> 01:08:08,281
Arrogant. Ruthless.

1448
01:08:08,283 --> 01:08:10,316
Jealous. Paranoid.

1449
01:08:10,318 --> 01:08:12,569
Criminal tendencies.

1450
01:08:12,571 --> 01:08:14,454
Mentally unsound.

1451
01:08:14,456 --> 01:08:16,240
That's me, all right.
Heh-heh.

1452
01:08:20,328 --> 01:08:21,477
You know
something? I--

1453
01:08:21,479 --> 01:08:23,080
I like your mind.

1454
01:08:23,082 --> 01:08:24,214
Do you really?

1455
01:08:24,216 --> 01:08:25,749
It excites me.

1456
01:08:25,751 --> 01:08:28,018
I like the way
you go about things.

1457
01:08:28,970 --> 01:08:30,954
You mean...

1458
01:08:30,956 --> 01:08:32,906
you like my style?

1459
01:08:32,908 --> 01:08:35,375
Oh, I-- I like
your style.

1460
01:08:35,377 --> 01:08:37,243
I like it very much.

1461
01:08:39,046 --> 01:08:40,881
Look, I want to

1462
01:08:40,883 --> 01:08:42,215
make you a proposition.

1463
01:08:43,601 --> 01:08:44,634
What?

1464
01:08:47,554 --> 01:08:49,822
I want to show you something.

1465
01:08:53,995 --> 01:08:56,212
Can't you put that
gun down now?

1466
01:08:56,214 --> 01:08:58,014
Mm...no.

1467
01:08:58,016 --> 01:09:00,817
God, you're so strong,
so ruthless, aren't you?

1468
01:09:00,819 --> 01:09:02,218
Yes.

1469
01:09:02,220 --> 01:09:03,320
Have you
any idea what

1470
01:09:03,322 --> 01:09:05,322
my proposition
is going to be?

1471
01:09:05,324 --> 01:09:06,323
No.

1472
01:09:06,325 --> 01:09:07,790
Are you excited?

1473
01:09:07,792 --> 01:09:09,092
I'd say intrigued.

1474
01:09:09,094 --> 01:09:11,995
I think you're going to be
excited very much.

1475
01:09:11,997 --> 01:09:13,396
This...

1476
01:09:13,398 --> 01:09:14,897
is the guest suite.

1477
01:09:17,017 --> 01:09:18,251
Isn't it nice?

1478
01:09:18,253 --> 01:09:19,619
Look at the view.

1479
01:09:21,622 --> 01:09:23,757
There's a private
bathroom. Small fridge.

1480
01:09:23,759 --> 01:09:25,559
A bottle of Chilean
Chardonnay

1481
01:09:25,561 --> 01:09:28,395
is chilling in there
at this very moment.

1482
01:09:30,365 --> 01:09:31,598
This suite...

1483
01:09:31,600 --> 01:09:32,966
is uninhabited.

1484
01:09:34,651 --> 01:09:36,486
It has no occupant.

1485
01:09:42,026 --> 01:09:43,493
How would you like it?

1486
01:09:47,181 --> 01:09:48,814
Me?

1487
01:09:50,768 --> 01:09:52,302
Yes. Yes.

1488
01:09:52,304 --> 01:09:54,304
I think I've come
to the conclusion

1489
01:09:54,306 --> 01:09:55,438
that you're...

1490
01:09:55,440 --> 01:09:57,540
my kind of person.

1491
01:10:00,178 --> 01:10:01,979
Am I, now?

1492
01:10:01,981 --> 01:10:03,246
Well-- Well, I told you.

1493
01:10:03,248 --> 01:10:05,349
I-I liked your mind.
It excited me.

1494
01:10:05,351 --> 01:10:06,816
I-- I need...

1495
01:10:06,818 --> 01:10:08,952
intellectual excitement.

1496
01:10:08,954 --> 01:10:11,721
Intellectual stimulation.

1497
01:10:13,491 --> 01:10:14,824
Well, they don't grow
on trees.

1498
01:10:16,010 --> 01:10:18,428
I'm a rich man.

1499
01:10:18,430 --> 01:10:20,696
What do you want to do?

1500
01:10:20,698 --> 01:10:22,332
I can subsidize...

1501
01:10:22,334 --> 01:10:23,867
anything you want.

1502
01:10:23,869 --> 01:10:26,836
You want to open
a bookshop in the village?

1503
01:10:27,955 --> 01:10:29,038
An art gallery?

1504
01:10:29,040 --> 01:10:30,707
Or, of course...

1505
01:10:30,709 --> 01:10:31,842
a little theater.

1506
01:10:31,844 --> 01:10:33,059
You're
a wonderful actor.

1507
01:10:33,061 --> 01:10:34,594
You could choose
all the plays

1508
01:10:34,596 --> 01:10:37,164
and play
all the leading parts.

1509
01:10:38,683 --> 01:10:40,883
But...

1510
01:10:40,885 --> 01:10:43,253
<i>this would be your home.</i>

1511
01:10:47,141 --> 01:10:49,542
And this would be
your bedroom.

1512
01:10:55,399 --> 01:10:57,200
You're asking me...

1513
01:10:57,202 --> 01:10:58,534
to live here?

1514
01:11:00,488 --> 01:11:02,388
Yes, I'm asking
you, uh...

1515
01:11:02,390 --> 01:11:04,291
to stay with me.

1516
01:11:04,293 --> 01:11:06,159
Oh, w-- We would
also travel.

1517
01:11:06,161 --> 01:11:09,045
I mean, Jamaica,
Swiss Alps.

1518
01:11:09,047 --> 01:11:11,147
I bet you're a wonderful
skier, aren't you?

1519
01:11:11,149 --> 01:11:13,550
You could ski
to your heart's content.

1520
01:11:13,552 --> 01:11:15,752
Swim in the blue
Caribbean.

1521
01:11:15,754 --> 01:11:17,654
I'd be waiting
at our table

1522
01:11:17,656 --> 01:11:19,489
with a Scotch
on the rocks.

1523
01:11:19,491 --> 01:11:22,009
Or a chilled
Chilean Chardonnay.

1524
01:11:24,480 --> 01:11:26,513
The world would be your oyster.

1525
01:11:28,982 --> 01:11:30,650
But what about Maggie?

1526
01:11:33,070 --> 01:11:35,071
Forget her.

1527
01:11:35,073 --> 01:11:36,306
Let her rot.

1528
01:11:38,142 --> 01:11:39,526
Stay with me.

1529
01:11:39,528 --> 01:11:41,795
You're my kind
of person.

1530
01:11:49,904 --> 01:11:52,205
It's quite tempting.

1531
01:12:02,633 --> 01:12:03,567
Hello?

1532
01:12:04,902 --> 01:12:06,302
Hi.

1533
01:12:08,272 --> 01:12:10,073
It's going okay.

1534
01:12:13,177 --> 01:12:15,244
We're still talking.

1535
01:12:16,781 --> 01:12:18,114
We're on
the right track.

1536
01:12:18,116 --> 01:12:19,282
It's all going okay.

1537
01:12:20,651 --> 01:12:22,786
Don't come down.

1538
01:12:22,788 --> 01:12:24,420
That would be
a mistake.

1539
01:12:24,422 --> 01:12:25,589
It's all going fine.

1540
01:12:27,892 --> 01:12:29,793
I love you too.

1541
01:12:31,295 --> 01:12:32,362
I am.

1542
01:12:33,598 --> 01:12:35,499
I'm kissing you.

1543
01:12:36,634 --> 01:12:37,934
Oh, yes.

1544
01:12:39,403 --> 01:12:41,771
I can taste
your mouth.

1545
01:12:47,027 --> 01:12:48,562
What the hell did she want?

1546
01:12:49,947 --> 01:12:51,932
She wants that divorce.

1547
01:12:53,651 --> 01:12:56,052
What about my proposition?

1548
01:12:59,941 --> 01:13:01,674
Well, I like the idea
of Jamaica.

1549
01:13:02,828 --> 01:13:03,826
What about
Barbados?

1550
01:13:03,828 --> 01:13:06,462
Well, and Barbados.
And Antigua.

1551
01:13:06,464 --> 01:13:07,496
Yeah. It's true.

1552
01:13:07,498 --> 01:13:09,199
There are so many places
I haven't seen.

1553
01:13:09,201 --> 01:13:12,068
Hollywood. Uh, Saint Petersburg.

1554
01:13:12,070 --> 01:13:14,437
The Côte d'Azur, Coney Island--

1555
01:13:14,439 --> 01:13:17,573
Oh, and I hear there's that
wonderful hotel in Scotland

1556
01:13:17,575 --> 01:13:19,676
called Balmoral.
That's where the queen lives.

1557
01:13:19,678 --> 01:13:21,962
Ah. So bed and breakfast
is out.

1558
01:13:21,964 --> 01:13:23,096
It's on if you know the queen.

1559
01:13:23,098 --> 01:13:24,381
I don't.

1560
01:13:24,383 --> 01:13:25,765
I do.

1561
01:13:25,767 --> 01:13:28,185
That's fantastic.

1562
01:13:30,505 --> 01:13:32,271
But-- But seriously, though.

1563
01:13:32,273 --> 01:13:35,525
We could have such
a wonderful time together.

1564
01:13:35,527 --> 01:13:37,227
Venice? Disneyland?

1565
01:13:37,229 --> 01:13:38,561
Whatever you want.

1566
01:13:38,563 --> 01:13:39,862
Whatever you want.

1567
01:13:39,864 --> 01:13:41,448
Whoever you want.

1568
01:13:41,450 --> 01:13:43,082
I could introduce you

1569
01:13:43,084 --> 01:13:44,584
to whoever you want.

1570
01:13:44,586 --> 01:13:47,470
Kissinger? Dick Cheney?

1571
01:13:47,472 --> 01:13:48,922
Madonna? Mike Tyson?

1572
01:13:48,924 --> 01:13:50,256
Yes.
Yes?

1573
01:13:51,542 --> 01:13:54,210
I must say,
that as offers go...

1574
01:13:56,280 --> 01:13:59,148
it's quite tempting.

1575
01:14:02,003 --> 01:14:04,487
You're a naughty tempter,
aren't you?

1576
01:14:06,457 --> 01:14:08,458
I'm so glad
you like my mind.

1577
01:14:08,460 --> 01:14:09,959
Not many people
like my mind.

1578
01:14:11,194 --> 01:14:13,897
Quite a few people
like my body, but, uh...

1579
01:14:13,899 --> 01:14:15,732
I can't think of anyone
who likes my mind.

1580
01:14:17,501 --> 01:14:18,701
That makes you unique.

1581
01:14:20,354 --> 01:14:22,271
Tsk. But then,
of course...

1582
01:14:22,273 --> 01:14:23,706
you know what
they say.

1583
01:14:23,708 --> 01:14:25,442
The mind is the body.

1584
01:14:26,344 --> 01:14:28,027
Is that what they say?

1585
01:14:28,029 --> 01:14:30,363
Somebody said something like it
once. Bullshit, of course.

1586
01:14:30,365 --> 01:14:31,665
Anyway...

1587
01:14:31,667 --> 01:14:34,417
perhaps I am
your sort of person.

1588
01:14:34,419 --> 01:14:35,484
Who knows?

1589
01:14:37,154 --> 01:14:38,287
But you...

1590
01:14:38,289 --> 01:14:41,925
<i>would have to be
very nice to me.</i>

1591
01:14:41,927 --> 01:14:43,710
For instance,
just at this moment,

1592
01:14:43,712 --> 01:14:46,195
I need a drink.

1593
01:14:56,223 --> 01:14:58,608
You can get your own drink.

1594
01:14:58,610 --> 01:15:01,861
No, you get it for me,
and I might be nice to you.

1595
01:15:01,863 --> 01:15:02,962
Nice to me?

1596
01:15:02,964 --> 01:15:03,730
That's what I said.

1597
01:15:03,732 --> 01:15:05,565
Whiskey, please.

1598
01:15:19,297 --> 01:15:20,730
Hm.

1599
01:15:22,499 --> 01:15:24,434
Mm.

1600
01:15:24,436 --> 01:15:25,501
Can't deny,

1601
01:15:25,503 --> 01:15:26,902
I can be...

1602
01:15:26,904 --> 01:15:28,805
quite a congenial
companion.

1603
01:15:28,807 --> 01:15:31,140
I really-- I can't
deny it. Heh-heh.

1604
01:15:33,894 --> 01:15:35,261
I could be...

1605
01:15:35,263 --> 01:15:37,197
quite a...

1606
01:15:37,199 --> 01:15:39,165
witty...

1607
01:15:39,167 --> 01:15:40,517
companion.

1608
01:15:40,519 --> 01:15:42,719
Would you
like...

1609
01:15:42,721 --> 01:15:45,355
<i>a witty
companion?</i>

1610
01:15:45,357 --> 01:15:46,773
Very much.

1611
01:15:46,775 --> 01:15:50,744
I'm particularly
witty in the morning.

1612
01:15:50,746 --> 01:15:52,612
Would that suit you?

1613
01:15:53,764 --> 01:15:55,565
Some people
hate...

1614
01:15:55,567 --> 01:15:58,901
wit...in the morning.

1615
01:15:58,903 --> 01:15:59,902
What about you?

1616
01:15:59,904 --> 01:16:01,137
I-I love wit in the morning.

1617
01:16:02,590 --> 01:16:04,857
Over boiled eggs?

1618
01:16:06,910 --> 01:16:09,045
Do you like eggs?

1619
01:16:09,047 --> 01:16:10,330
Absolutely.

1620
01:16:15,252 --> 01:16:18,305
I'm a dab hand
in the kitchen.

1621
01:16:18,307 --> 01:16:19,723
But...

1622
01:16:19,725 --> 01:16:20,806
you have to be
nice to me

1623
01:16:20,808 --> 01:16:22,291
and get me a drink

1624
01:16:22,293 --> 01:16:23,993
when I ask for it.

1625
01:16:47,668 --> 01:16:48,617
You see?

1626
01:16:50,454 --> 01:16:53,289
You can be
really sweet

1627
01:16:53,291 --> 01:16:56,109
when you put
your mind to it.

1628
01:16:56,111 --> 01:16:57,410
Cheers.

1629
01:17:02,949 --> 01:17:04,717
Listen, I can see
what you're saying.

1630
01:17:06,086 --> 01:17:08,488
I can see why you're
inviting me to live with you.

1631
01:17:09,656 --> 01:17:11,190
I can see that
you're lonely.

1632
01:17:12,359 --> 01:17:13,859
That you need
looking after.

1633
01:17:13,861 --> 01:17:15,761
It's obvious.

1634
01:17:15,763 --> 01:17:17,430
You need someone
who would

1635
01:17:17,432 --> 01:17:19,865
cater for
your every whim.

1636
01:17:19,867 --> 01:17:21,901
Don't you?

1637
01:17:21,903 --> 01:17:23,269
I do.

1638
01:17:30,744 --> 01:17:32,178
Hello?

1639
01:17:32,180 --> 01:17:33,946
Darling.

1640
01:17:33,948 --> 01:17:35,048
What?

1641
01:17:38,185 --> 01:17:40,053
Oh, is that so?

1642
01:17:40,055 --> 01:17:41,454
Are you?

1643
01:17:44,558 --> 01:17:46,492
Huh. I see.

1644
01:17:46,494 --> 01:17:48,627
Are you sure?

1645
01:17:48,629 --> 01:17:50,996
I see.

1646
01:17:50,998 --> 01:17:52,265
I got it.

1647
01:17:54,535 --> 01:17:56,869
I told you I got it.
I understand.

1648
01:17:58,405 --> 01:17:59,505
Okay.

1649
01:18:01,007 --> 01:18:02,741
Okay, I'll tell him.

1650
01:18:02,743 --> 01:18:03,910
Tell me what?

1651
01:18:07,548 --> 01:18:09,315
That she loves you.

1652
01:18:09,317 --> 01:18:11,551
Is that so?

1653
01:18:11,553 --> 01:18:12,818
What else did she say?

1654
01:18:12,820 --> 01:18:14,220
Nothing.

1655
01:18:14,222 --> 01:18:15,588
Nothing?
Nothing.

1656
01:18:15,590 --> 01:18:17,557
Listen, for chrissake...

1657
01:18:17,559 --> 01:18:19,392
make up your mind.

1658
01:18:19,394 --> 01:18:21,494
I'm offering you
something special.

1659
01:18:21,496 --> 01:18:23,963
Something
very special.

1660
01:18:23,965 --> 01:18:25,965
We seal it with
a handshake.

1661
01:18:25,967 --> 01:18:27,666
And she's nowhere.

1662
01:18:27,668 --> 01:18:29,301
We cut her out,
you understand?

1663
01:18:29,303 --> 01:18:31,737
We cut her out
of our lives.

1664
01:18:31,739 --> 01:18:33,339
Don't let her
dominate you.

1665
01:18:33,341 --> 01:18:34,340
Be yourself.

1666
01:18:34,342 --> 01:18:36,142
Be independent.
Be free.

1667
01:18:36,144 --> 01:18:37,243
Like you?

1668
01:18:37,245 --> 01:18:39,145
That's right.
Be free like me.

1669
01:19:16,032 --> 01:19:17,500
I've...

1670
01:19:17,502 --> 01:19:20,035
always been attracted...

1671
01:19:20,037 --> 01:19:22,238
to rich and
powerful men.

1672
01:19:23,924 --> 01:19:25,041
Rich and
powerful men

1673
01:19:25,043 --> 01:19:26,543
make all the girls
quiver...

1674
01:19:26,545 --> 01:19:28,528
like a jelly
on a plate.

1675
01:19:30,096 --> 01:19:31,464
But you're not a girl.

1676
01:19:32,649 --> 01:19:35,385
Tickles the old
cobblers...

1677
01:19:35,387 --> 01:19:37,086
money.

1678
01:19:37,088 --> 01:19:39,389
Girls don't
have cobblers.

1679
01:19:39,391 --> 01:19:41,123
You'd be surprised.

1680
01:19:46,397 --> 01:19:49,164
But you're not a girl.

1681
01:19:49,166 --> 01:19:50,800
I may have been once.

1682
01:19:52,168 --> 01:19:54,604
Back in the good old days.

1683
01:19:56,407 --> 01:19:58,508
Maybe the good old days
are coming back.

1684
01:19:59,943 --> 01:20:01,411
Who knows?

1685
01:20:03,113 --> 01:20:04,814
Look...

1686
01:20:07,584 --> 01:20:10,152
I'd really like to
see your bed.

1687
01:20:11,455 --> 01:20:12,822
I mean...

1688
01:20:12,824 --> 01:20:14,323
let me be quite clear.

1689
01:20:15,692 --> 01:20:18,428
This looks a very nice
bed indeed.

1690
01:20:19,897 --> 01:20:21,997
But yours is bigger.

1691
01:20:24,701 --> 01:20:26,736
Can I take another look?

1692
01:20:26,738 --> 01:20:28,203
Sure.

1693
01:20:30,741 --> 01:20:32,508
Is this how you do it?

1694
01:20:38,732 --> 01:20:40,399
Miraculous.

1695
01:20:51,729 --> 01:20:54,564
I could really
get to like this.

1696
01:20:54,566 --> 01:20:56,532
Of course, this...

1697
01:20:56,534 --> 01:20:57,900
is the marriage
bed,

1698
01:20:57,902 --> 01:20:59,301
isn't it?

1699
01:20:59,303 --> 01:21:01,003
Mm.

1700
01:21:01,005 --> 01:21:03,639
Is this where she took
your virginity?

1701
01:21:03,641 --> 01:21:06,408
Is this where your wife
deflowered you?

1702
01:21:06,410 --> 01:21:08,711
Is this where you were
deflowered?

1703
01:21:10,781 --> 01:21:12,214
It's a lovely bed.

1704
01:21:13,784 --> 01:21:16,185
So...bouncy.

1705
01:21:22,460 --> 01:21:24,660
I'm so touched...

1706
01:21:24,662 --> 01:21:28,130
that you've offered me
a place in your heart.

1707
01:21:28,132 --> 01:21:30,666
In your life.

1708
01:21:30,668 --> 01:21:32,535
I'm touched.

1709
01:21:44,064 --> 01:21:45,982
Take your hand off me.

1710
01:21:48,719 --> 01:21:50,820
Take your hand off me.

1711
01:21:53,790 --> 01:21:55,274
Fuck off!

1712
01:21:55,276 --> 01:21:56,609
Fuck off,
you big poof!

1713
01:21:56,611 --> 01:21:58,543
Jesus.
I come here...

1714
01:21:58,545 --> 01:22:00,529
as an innocent bystander.

1715
01:22:00,531 --> 01:22:03,799
As a totally
respectable individual.

1716
01:22:03,801 --> 01:22:05,801
A humble part-time
hairdresser.

1717
01:22:05,803 --> 01:22:07,120
And you try to corrupt me.

1718
01:22:07,122 --> 01:22:08,804
You try to seduce me.

1719
01:22:08,806 --> 01:22:09,672
Do you know what you are?

1720
01:22:09,674 --> 01:22:11,240
You're a menace.

1721
01:22:11,242 --> 01:22:13,376
Also...

1722
01:22:13,378 --> 01:22:15,294
you're a cunt.

1723
01:22:15,296 --> 01:22:17,062
Well, uh...

1724
01:22:17,064 --> 01:22:19,364
now you really
are charming.

1725
01:22:19,366 --> 01:22:21,217
You know who's gonna love

1726
01:22:21,219 --> 01:22:22,552
this story?
What story?

1727
01:22:22,554 --> 01:22:24,253
This one. This one.
Who?

1728
01:22:24,255 --> 01:22:26,055
Maggie!
Really?

1729
01:22:26,057 --> 01:22:27,940
By the way, she asked me
to tell you something.

1730
01:22:27,942 --> 01:22:30,343
What?
That she's coming back to you.

1731
01:22:30,345 --> 01:22:31,560
She's on her way.

1732
01:22:33,013 --> 01:22:34,263
She's coming
back to me?

1733
01:22:34,265 --> 01:22:36,015
That's what she told me
on the phone.

1734
01:22:36,017 --> 01:22:37,499
I don't want her.
Well, you've got her.

1735
01:22:37,501 --> 01:22:39,418
She's all yours.
You're welcome to her.

1736
01:22:39,420 --> 01:22:41,821
<i>She loves your money, baby.</i>

1737
01:22:41,823 --> 01:22:44,357
That's the nub of it.

1738
01:22:44,359 --> 01:22:46,225
I don't want her.

1739
01:22:52,015 --> 01:22:53,766
What are you doing
with that coat?

1740
01:22:53,768 --> 01:22:55,284
I'm taking it.

1741
01:22:55,286 --> 01:22:57,019
Tell Maggie
I'll be in touch.

1742
01:22:57,021 --> 01:22:59,154
I want to have a drink with her.
Bring her up to date.

1743
01:23:00,356 --> 01:23:02,425
Hm.

1744
01:23:02,427 --> 01:23:04,711
How do you like me
in this coat?

1745
01:23:04,713 --> 01:23:06,279
Do you fancy me?

1746
01:23:10,083 --> 01:23:11,950
Goodbye...darling.

1747
01:23:17,357 --> 01:23:18,624
Wait a minute.

1748
01:23:20,294 --> 01:23:22,178
Yes? What?

1749
01:23:29,302 --> 01:23:31,336
Goodbye, darling.