I'm a fairy?
How fucking lame.
Fairy is but one of the names.
-What other names are there? -Finodrerr.
Ellyllon. The Old People.
Aliens.
God fucking damn it. I really am an alien.
Only part. You're mostly human.
Apparently, a fae coupled with one of your female ancestors.
Coupled?
The fae were known for breeding with humans...
...sometimes against the human's will.
My people are rapists?
How do you know all this?
One of them called Claudine told me.
Claudine?
-Where were you when you--? -Bon Temps Cemetery.
Only it was someplace else, and it was day.
But it wasn't painful, it was beautiful.
-Was there a pond? -Yes, that's how l got there.
I was there too.
Claudine told me you would take my light.
She's afraid for you, and with good reason.
What reason is that?
Every supernatural l have ever met...
...believes the fae were wiped out of existence by vampires.
Oh, fuck me.
Tara, we gotta hide this.
I need you to dig.
-What? -Dig.
Start up the truck. Put these in back. We'll find a place to burn them.
I got this.
I hope you rot in hell, you psycho piece of shit.
CRYSTAL: Why are we stopping? We don't have time for this!
What are you doing? This guy needs a doctor.
We're still 20 miles away from the Monroe ER.
He ain't gonna make it. Lay him on the porch.
-lf we don't take-- LAFAYETTE: Would you just trust me?
I'm gonna make it right.
CRYSTAL: What is he doing? JESUS: I don't know, but he's got a plan.
CRYSTAL: If he dies, you're both fucking dead.
JESUS: It's all right. l got you, come on.
Get out of my way.
Wait! His breathing's all fucked up, he can't get no air!
JESUS: Come on, Calvin. Stay with us, buddy.
[GRUNTS]
VOICE 1 : You fucking pussy.
Is there anyone you won't let walk all over you?
VOICE 2: Dumb motherfucker.
VOICE 3: Rip your dick off and feed it to my hogs.
VOICE 4: You're really not an alpha, are you? VOICE 5: Can't you just be a normal guy?
SAM: I fucking trusted you!
[WHOOPS]
[LAUGHS]
Come on, come on.
Oh, my God.
SAM: All right.
Yeah.
Tell me how you do it, Sam...
...how you keep getting into these places without setting off the alarm.
A man ain't nothing without his secrets.
Tell me.
-Please? -Maybe.
One day, when we're out of this game, running a nice little bar...
...making babies who look like you.
You feel so good. Even warmer than usual.
You are so fucking beautiful.
Well, thanks, honey.
-Feeling beautiful. -What is this?
This would be you getting screwed.
-You in on this? -Was her idea.
Probably crossed your mind a world-class piece of ass like that...
...don't usually fall for a dumb fuck like you.
-We're good. -Well, you were right.
-Ah! JON: Come on.
Why do people think they were wiped out by vampires?
And if you don't tell me the truth, Bill Compton, l swear to God l will know it.
According to legend...
...fairy blood is delectable and intoxicating to vampires.
Is it true?
Yours is the most delicious blood I have ever tasted.
That's all l know.
I believe having your blood...
...is what allowed me to get to whatever dream state where l met Claudine.
I'm pretty sure Claudine hated you in that other place.
Why would she tell you anything at all?
I told her my only intention was to protect you.
-And she believed you? -She did.
If-- If my blood is so delicious, does that mean your feelings for me are based on--?
No.
Oh, it definitely drew me to you at first.
But we grew into something much deeper.
You must know that.
You see the difference between the way l look at you and the way Eric and Russell do.
-Yes, but in the van, you almost-- -l was unconscious.
I was fighting for survival. That wasn't me.
Sookie, it is not your blood l love.
I love you.
Your mind, your heart, your soul.
I will forswear ever feeding on you again...
...if that's what it takes to convince you of that.
You have brought light back into my life...
...and hope and gratitude.
That is why l love you.
Nothing else.
LAWYER: "I give all my residences...
...subject to any mortgages or encumbrances thereon, to--"
My progeny, Pamela Swynford DeBeaufort.
Why are you doing this?
Because, Pam, Russell Edgington was maybe...
...the oldest and strongest vampire on the planet...
...before he eviscerated a newsman live on TV.
Now he's also the craziest, and his rage is directed at me.
Do the math.
Article four. "l give the rest of my residuary estate to--"
My progeny, Pamela Swynford DeBeaufort.
-You're not even gonna put up a fight? -Of course l am.
But until l come up with a brilliant plan to beat him...
...l am covering my bases and your ass.
PAM: Eric-- -Unless you have a plan for me...
...to defeat Russell Edgington, do not distract me.
-Go on. -Your signature requires two witnesses.
But the witness cannot be the beneficiary of your estate.
Yvetta!
Are you mentally competent and under no duress at this time?
[SPEAKS IN RUSSlAN]
Good. Watch this.
Well, congratulations.
According to the State of Louisiana...
...should Mr. Northman meet the true death...
...you will become a very wealthy vampire.
I'll show myself out.
[IN RUSSlAN] You're giving her everything?
You promised to take care of me!
[IN RUSSlAN] I promised you a job and good sex. That is all.
So l mean nothing to you?
Less than nothing, you gold-digging whore!
You can be a cold-hearted bastard.
CRYSTAL: What the hell is that? LAFAYETTE: Vampire blood.
-Nothing's happening. -Give it a second.
Why'd you do it? So he'd die in peace?
Trust me, all right?
Here we go.
What the fuck?
CRYSTAL: Oh, my God.
-Oh, Daddy. -No fucking way.
Thank you, God.
Thank you.
You let these faggots put vamper juice in me?
They saved your life!
CALVIN: Fucking cock-sucking faggot. -You okay?
I can take care of myself. Daddy, wait!
Daddy!
Them fuckers is a whole new dimension of trash.
Daddy!
You happy? This is what happens when you turn your back on your family.
-l just wanted a taste of the outside. -Yeah. You like what you got?
A shifter kicks my fucking ass, and those two cocksuckers give me fanger blood?
How could you want to chase around some human...
...who would freak the fuck out if he knew what you are?
You really think you can take up with that boy?
We ain't supposed to mix!
-lt's your duty to mate with Felton. -But l don't love Felton.
You ain't gotta love him.
You lie under him, bear his kids, keep his bloodline going.
-Especially now that you done ruined mine. -l can't go back there.
I won't.
You're dead to me, girl! You're no daughter of mine!
MAN [ON TV]: In the aftermath of vampire terrorist Russell Edgington's...
...slaughtering news anchor Jerry McCafferty on live TV...
...American Vampire League spokeswoman Nan Flanagan is speaking out...
...against the anti-vampire sentiment and hate crimes sweeping the nation.
[TURNS VOLUME UP]
Look, l do not deny that this was the heinous act of a madman.
RusselI Edgington is an extremist and a terrorist...
...but that's not because he is a vampire.
It's because he is an extremist and a terrorist.
He is one individual, just as Jeffrey Dahmer was an individual.
And I certainly don't recall protests or a call to punish all human men after his at--
-How did you find us? -Oh, it was really not that hard.
I know what Sookie is.
So is it true that Sookie's blood let you walk in the sunlight?
Oh.
Sophie-Anne never even told you why she sent you for Sookie.
I returned to Bon Temps because it is my ancestral home.
Oh, spare me your lies. I'll just find out on my own.
-Sookie is mine. -She won't be if you're dead.
Is it true?
No.
The blood works for a few minutes, if that.
You burn a bit slower than you would do without it.
But you still burn.
Well, that's gonna disappoint Sophie-Anne.
Well, l will die the true death before l let her get her hands on Sookie.
-Or anyone else, for that matter. -Russell will come for her.
Well, you should know, since you're now his butt boy.
No longer. I killed Talbot.
So that's why he went medieval on TV.
Well, thanks, Eric. You just put our cause back a thousand years.
He must be after you for that.
Why are you even here?
I'm trying to save Sookie.
Give me a break. You don't care about Sookie.
You left us in Russell's house to die.
-What is the fucking truth, for once? -The truth?
Well, why don't you tell Sookie the fucking truth, if you really love her?
What truth?
The truth about what you are, which l've already told you.
Why are you here? To pretend like you care about my safety...
...so you can sell me out to Russell again, or is it to the Queen this time?
You really believe he is trustworthy?
All I know is l sure as hell can't trust you.
And now that l know what I am and what you want from me...
...l can promise you will never get it.
Well, do what you want.
I won't be around much longer anyway.
I wish you the best, Sookie Stackhouse.
This heinous act of pure evil is a blessing, actually...
...because it finally reveals the true nature of these beasts to us all.
Mm-hm.
And if I were less of a Christian, I would say, "Told you."
But, of course, I take no joy in this dark time.
Guess we're on our own for cleanup.
I ain't filling salt shakers while innocent people are being attacked by vampires.
Was only a matter of time before one of y'all got caught on film.
Okay, we get it. You don't like vampires.
Well, l don't like narrow-minded, skinny bitches with bad dye jobs.
But at least l've got the courtesy to keep my mouth shut about it.
Most of the time.
I suggest you do the same.
Okay.
You know, I may be skinny, but I ain't evil. And once evil, always evil!
-l shouldn't have done that. -Are you kidding?
It gave me total wood.
Hey, don't cover them up. They're fucking hot.
Anyone ever told you that?
Arlene's full of shit.
If that old boyfriend of yours had a problem--
He doesn't.
He should, but he tells me I shouldn't hide who l am.
Then why are you here with me instead of with him?
Because he's too good for me.
Well, l'm not.
NEWLIN: --enough is enough.
-l've been thinking, Bear. -Bear?
One of them cute, cuddly ones with the big eyes...
...and arms you could squeeze till Tuesday.
You're the most special person I ever met.
I know seeing Jessica's gotta hurt that big old heart of yours...
...but l think l know a way to fix that.
Summer....
I can tell you're a sexual person, Hoyt Fortenberry...
...and if that's what it's gonna take to fill up this distance between us--
-You don't have to do this. -l know God wants girls to wait...
...but l'm right about you.
It's gonna take getting used to.
I mean, me being warm and all, but maybe you'll like it better.
-Summer, listen.... -l'm ready, Bear.
-Jesus. What--? -What happened?
-There was a fight at Merlotte's. SOOKlE: Jason.
I don't wanna talk about it. How did you get in here?
The key on the sill. Is it okay if I stay here a couple days?
-You in some kind of trouble? -What'd you do to her now?
SOOKlE: Tara. -lt's all right.
No, it's not all right.
I have a few werewolves after me, and a vampire and--
-Jesus. -Now they're coming here.
Great, thanks.
Why is it wherever he goes, trouble follows?
-lt's almost dawn. -Yeah.
BlLL: Don't worry about it.
I'll go to ground nearby, just in case l'm needed.
Tara Mae, l know you've been through a lot--
Don't, Sook.
You're my best friend, and l love you...
...but no matter what you say, I'm staying away from all of them.
So, what, it's you or Bill now?
I'm doing whatever l gotta do to survive. I can't help it.
-l wish them all dead for good. -You're talking about the man l love.
He's not a man.
They're monsters, and Bill ain't any different from the rest of them.
They tie you up and duct-tape you so you can't scream.
They kidnap you, rape you...
...try to turn you.
That's what Franklin did to you?
And the man you love didn't lift a finger to save me.
I'm sorry.
You have a gun in the house?
I got a shotgun in my truck.
Werewolves are quicker, stronger than you can imagine.
Shoot them fast, and right between the eyes.
-Okay, I got this. -Are you sure?
-Because I'm counting on you. -Yeah, I'm good. I'm good.
I'll take care of her. l promise.
All right.
Last night, that guy was as good as dead...
...but a little bit of this, and he just walks away.
It's magic.
-You ever do it? -Sometimes.
On special occasions.
I wanna do it with you.
Yesterday morning, you made coffee.
I thought today maybe we'd graduate to juice and pancakes.
-l know it's powerful. -lt's more than powerful, it's unpredictable.
It affects everybody different.
-How does it affect you? -lt depends.
-Where I am, who I'm with. -Well, you're safe with me.
You gotta know that by now.
Most folks use this for sex, but it can take you much, much deeper.
I get that.
It helps you connect even more to whatever magic you're already hooked up to.
How do you know that?
Because I care for people who live in a different reality.
That takes mad intuition.
So you more like a shaman in a Sunday hat.
It's in you too.
You know that.
All you need is a little push.
Oh, Lordy.
MAN [ON TV]: We've heard that the special Forces raid on RusseIl Edgington's residence...
...in Jackson, Mississippi has turned up no clue...
...as to the vampire terrorist's whereabouts.
In fact, sources say the mansion was as empty as a tomb, no pun intended.
Authorities continue to search for Edgington--
Well, hey, Sam. How are you this morning?
-Reason the TV is so loud? -Oh, fuck-a-doo.
I am so sorry. I will turn that off right now.
--would allow each class the opportunity to protect--
[TV TURNS OFF]
SAM: Need some coffee. -More like hair of the dog, huh?
-Hey, Terry. TERRY: Hey, boss. Sorry I'm late.
SAM: Shift don't start for 20 minutes. -Oh, right.
Well, sorry for being sorry.
Okay, everybody, everybody just-- You can relax.
Okay? l didn't kill anybody.
Lafayette called me this morning, and the guy is fine.
So pretend you're all normal.
Why exactly are you handing me marijuana?
Black cohosh. Brings down your testosterone levels.
For your rage.
-You obviously have a problem. -Thanks.
You got anything that works for nosiness and bad boundaries?
Oh, l'm sorry. lt's just something l do.
I give people remedies. l'm a Wiccan.
Listen. You're new here, so you wouldn't know this...
...but l got two rules in my bar: No dancing, no religion.
-Good to know. -Yeah.
Dude, why'd you tell them that guy didn't die?
You were finally getting some respect.
Tommy, it's not respect when your employees think you're a psychopath.
All I know is, was proud of my big brother last night.
Yeah, well, you're an idiot.
[DOOR OPENS]
Secondhand smoke, bad. You carrying a heavy load, bad-bad.
[SOBS]
Arlene? Honey? What's wrong?
Oh, Terry.
-Terry, this baby-- -Are you spotting grayish tissue...
...having side cramps or experiencing a consistent ache in your lower back?
No, I'm fine. It's just--
You're worried about me and my parenting skills, ain't you?
Oh, Arlene, l promise you, I will be the best daddy to our baby--
No, Terry. This baby ain't yours.
It's Rene's.
It's gonna be evil, and l wanna get rid of it.
No.
I will raise that child as my own.
Do you hear me, Arlene?
I want to marry you...
...and together we will surround that baby with more love than it can handle.
It's okay. Just let it out.
Let it out.
Franklin was coming after her.
I just....
I fired.
One minute he was there, and the next...
-...he was just a big old pile of-- -You listen to me.
Franklin hurt her worse than you and I can imagine. You saved her life.
No, I didn't.
Doesn't feel like it, but you did the right thing.
No, I didn't.
Look, l know how awful it is to kill someone, but you have to remember--
But l shot Eggs.
He was coming after Andy with a knife.
And l shot him.
Dead.
And l didn't tell you because before l even had time to think...
...Andy took over, and I ran, and l didn't know which lies to tell you or Tara.
So l didn't tell you any.
Tara's gotta know.
People always find out, and it hurts them ten times more.
Like with Eggs, huh?
You told him the truth, and look what happened.
-Jason. -l'm good at protecting people.
It's like the only thing l do right, and that's what I'm doing.
You're not protecting her. You're lying to her.
-And they ain't always so different. -Yes, they are.
How would you know, Sook?
No one can keep anything from you.
Vampires can.
[MUSlC PLAYlNG]
Oh, check out Barbies.
Look at them getting funky now. Mary. Go, girl.
They're having fun. That got to be a good thing.
JESUS: Fuck.
LAFAYETTE: Going round.
Whoa!
Your teeth is wobbling.
[LAUGHlNG]
Ohh! Shit.
JESUS: Hey.
-You know her? -Yeah.
[SPEAKS IN SPANlSH]
She could undo very powerful spells.
With those oils, she saved many people from evil.
[YELL]
Whoa!
[WOMAN SPEAKlNG lN SPANISH]
[SPEAKS IN SPANlSH]
[CHUCKLES]
LAFAYETTE [IN JESUS' VOlCE]: Women from all over Mexico...
...came to her for fertility problems.
The egg will draw her essence up and cleanse it.
[BOTH LAUGH]
-[IN NORMAL VOlCE] How'd you do that? -We're connected, bro.
[VOICES SPEAKlNG INDlSTlNCTLY]
[SPEAKS IN SPANlSH]
Bye.
Your Great-Great-Great-Grandma Mae and her girl, Winnie.
[IN JESUS' VOlCE] Never had to share their bed with their master because of that powder.
[IN LAFAYETTE'S VOlCE] That's my Great-Great-Grandmama Winnie?
Yes, sir. Mae was a conjurer.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Passed that right down to Winnie.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] How come I never knew that?
You know now.
Damn.
[IN JESUS' VOlCE]
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Your grandfather?
He practiced black arts.
[IN JESUS' VOlCE] Scared the shit out of mi mami.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] She drug you all over the fucking world trying to escape him?
Because he had big plans for me.
[YELLING]
[BOTH GASP]
[YELLS]
It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
What the fuck was that?
That's my grandfather.
A hechicero, a sorcerer.
Shit!
That was fucking awesome.
-l know this is a dream. -Well, you might as well enjoy it, then.
Will your blood ever wear off?
I'm tired of dreaming about you.
No, it's not just the blood.
-You know you have feelings for me. -Ew.
You know you like this.
And this.
And you know you can't trust Bill.
That's not my blood talking.
It's your survival instinct.
[ERlC HlSSES]
-You okay? -Yeah.
Still sleeping?
Or you hiding out from Sook?
From the world, I guess.
I thought you might be hungry.
It's okay, you know.
I'm sure it's gotta feel weird having to do what you did.
-Tara-- -You saved my life last night.
You've been saving me since I was a little girl.
Yeah. That's what I wanna talk to you about.
See, sometimes when you try and save people, you end up not.
It's almost like your right hand, it's not talking to your other hand.
And you don't know which one to listen to...
...because they both wanna do the right thing--
Jason.
I'm trying to say thank you.
For last night, and letting me crash.
You just get it.
Tara, you know l ain't that deep.
For some reason, you like pretending you're too dumb to know better, do better.
But you, you're good.
I can count on you.
And there ain't much of that left anymore.
[SOBBlNG]
It's all right.
Just, you know, breathe.
-Wait. No, you don't have to be-- -Fucked up.
I'm so totally fucked up.
I shot Eggs.
Say something.
Tara, please. Hit me.
Call the cops. Tell me you hate me. Anything.
[DOOR SHUTS]
Oh, fuck.
Motherfuck!
MAN: Vampers go back to hell!
I can still smell them.
No, we can track them down!
It is more important than ever that we restrain ourselves.
-But-- -Even if it is against our nature.
CHARLENE: How many times you gonna count it?
Until it stops being fun, sweetheart.
CHARLENE: It's all ours, babe.
Come to bed.
SAM: Surprise, asshole.
-What the fuck? -Give me my money.
Where's the rest?
-lt's in the truck. -Get it!
Give me your pants. Give me your fucking pants!
-What the fuck's taking so long? -lt spilled! Just give me a sec!
You know, she told me all about you.
After she'd fuck you, she'd come crawling back into bed with me.
She told me you like to bark in your sleep.
Freak.
Yeah. Yeah, l am a freak.
That makes it okay to fuck me over?
Steal my money I was gonna make a new life with?
-l'll fuck you over, you greedy piece of shit! CHARLENE: Stop it!
Stop it, Sam. l will shoot you, Sam.
No. No!
Hey, hey.
Honey, stay with me. Stay with-- Oh, God, no.
No, don't you fucking die on me.
[GROANING]
Fucker.
She insisted.
She always does.
What did you mean, you're not gonna be around much longer?
Don't pretend you care about me.
This is about Bill.
Deep down, you know you shouldn't trust him.
Okay. Tell me why.
Well, here's the truth.
There are forces beyond even my control.
If l meet the true death without having at least kissed you, Sookie Stackhouse...
...that would be my biggest regret.
Why does it sound like you're saying goodbye to me?
Because I am.
Okay, l get it. I'm irresistible and intoxicating...
...but keeping things from me does not exactly help your cause.
Tell me why l shouldn't trust Bill.
-What? -Blah, blah, vampire emergency, blah.
This better be good.
You're too busy signing wills and making out with the solution instead of using her.
There isn't any way to use her.
It won't work.
We know Russell wants her.
-Give her to him to save your own skin. -No.
He's gonna get her anyway, sooner or later.
No.
I won't do that to her.
You're choosing a human over yourself, Eric?
Over me?
Your lack of sentiment has always been your most admirable quality.
Do not disappoint me now.
You would have said and done anything to save Godric.
I have no interest in inheriting your farm on Irlande.
That place is a windy shithole.
If you're not gonna give him Sookie, at least figure out how to use her...
...and fast.
WOMAN: Hey, baby.
Wasn't expecting you till later. Pull around the corner.
-Looking for something special tonight? -Found it.
What kind of weird shit you into?
RUSSELL: I was looking to spend some quality time.
Five hundred?
Bail costs 1 000.
I'll give you more than you could ever dream of.
You got someplace we can go?
Yeah.
Remember when you said there are other ways of not being pregnant?
Can we talk about that?
You're a vampire who chews on her fingernails?
They grow back.
I love you.
I wanna be with you for everything that you are.
Oh, you're only saying that...
...because all you see now is the quirky vampire girl who bites her nails.
You're wrong. I broke up with Summer.
I drove up to Caddo Lake, and l spent all day asking God...
...to give me a reason why we can't be together.
And a hush came over the water, and all the bugs stopped buzzing...
...and it came to me.
There is no reason.
Hoyt, if you knew half the shit I'd done.... It's unimaginable.
And l actually liked it.
You don't wanna know that part of me.
Well, if you don't wanna be with me because you don't love me...
...that's something else.
But don't tell me what I want and what l don't want.
That's my decision to make, and l want you.
Tell me you don't love me.
Look me straight in the eye and say it, and l'll leave you alone.
Nice work in there, dude.
[GROWLS AND BARKS]
[HOYT YELLING]
Hoyt.
Oh, Hoyt. l love you too.
Now, drink my blood.
-Where is she? -She ain't with you?
I've been looking everywhere, man.
She's not answering her phone, nothing. She left a note.
-You promised me you'd look after her! -Well, l did.
You know better than anyone, Sook's gonna do what Sook's gonna do.
Ain't no man or brother's gonna stop her.
You gave me your word, Jason. You have let me down.
-And now-- -Jesus fuck!
You think I don't know that? Just shut your fucking mouth!
And get out of my house!
Yeah. Sookie told me how that works.
I take back whatever invitation you got to come inside my fucking house!
Motherfucker!
[CLATTERlNG]
[GROWLS]
Oh, mama.
I'm so sorry, Talbot.
Tony.
You're the strongest man I've ever known.
You made us a home.
-You made us family. -lt was a nice house.
-lt was a home. -Mm-hm.
A haven.
A refuge from all that madness.
[RUSSELL SOBS]
I told you, extra 500 to bite me.
Oh, brother.
It's all my fault.
I will never forgive myself...
...that in the end, you were so alone...
...with no one holding your hand.
Your beautiful...
...beautiful hand.
It is one thing to face eternity without you...
...but to have not been with you at the true death....
[SCREAMS]
Talbot, you saved me from the world.
From myself.
I was a fool to trust him.
And l am more sorry than l can ever say.
I'm so glad we had a chance to say our goodbye.
-Where the hell have you been? -l needed to think.
I'm not some prisoner you can lock up any time you feel like taking off.
Actually, you are.
Ahh! Let me go!
-l knew l shouldn't have trust you. -You were right.
Let me go!
[GRUNTlNG]
Eric!