1 00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:10,794 [ HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYS ] Nathan: ♪ LOCKED IN, 2 00:00:10,877 --> 00:00:12,794 TARGETED, TRICKED ME INTO YOUR SUBMISSION ♪ 3 00:00:12,877 --> 00:00:14,377 ♪ FLIPPED THE TABLES, TURNED IT OVER, CHANGED IT INTO 4 00:00:14,460 --> 00:00:16,002 MY REMISSION ♪ ♪ USED MY BRAIN AGAINST ITSELF, 5 00:00:16,085 --> 00:00:18,377 EAT ITSELF AWAY ♪ ♪ BIOLOGIC TICKING TIME BOMB, 6 00:00:18,460 --> 00:00:20,710 BIRTH MY OWN DISGRACE ♪ ♪ I'D RATHER DIE, BE THE LAST 7 00:00:20,794 --> 00:00:22,585 OF MY KIND ♪ ♪ I'VE GOT TO PULL OUT, 8 00:00:22,669 --> 00:00:25,543 I'M SAVING MY LIFE ♪ ♪ YOU BUILT A BOMB MADE OF FLESH 9 00:00:25,627 --> 00:00:27,002 AND PISS ♪ ♪ DON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT, 10 00:00:27,085 --> 00:00:30,669 THERE'LL BE BLOOD ON YOUR LIST ♪ ♪ YOU'RE ENGAGED IN 11 00:00:30,752 --> 00:00:35,669 BIOLOGICAL WARFARE ♪ DOMO, TOKYO! 12 00:00:35,752 --> 00:00:37,126 Toki: I LOVES YOU, TOKYO! 13 00:00:37,210 --> 00:00:40,043 I LOVES EACH AND EVERY ONES OF YO-- 14 00:00:40,126 --> 00:00:44,335 [ AUDIENCE GASPS ] Toki: WHERE'S AMS I? 15 00:00:44,418 --> 00:00:45,168 AMS I BEENS KIDNAPPEDS? I'M WORTHS LOTS OF MONIES! 16 00:00:46,252 --> 00:00:47,543 I'LL GIVES YOUS WHATEVER YOU WANTS! 17 00:00:47,627 --> 00:00:48,585 PLEASE DON'Ts KILLS ME! 18 00:00:48,669 --> 00:00:50,168 I DOs ANYTHINGS! 19 00:00:50,252 --> 00:00:51,585 NOBODY CAN HELP YOU. 20 00:00:51,669 --> 00:00:52,627 Toki: OH, GODS, NO! 21 00:00:52,710 --> 00:00:53,627 WHYS ME? 22 00:00:53,710 --> 00:00:55,710 WHY DON'T YOU KILLS DETHKLOKS INSTEADS? 23 00:00:55,794 --> 00:00:56,835 I'LL LEADS YOU TO THEMS! 24 00:00:56,919 --> 00:00:57,794 THEY'RE RICH! 25 00:00:57,877 --> 00:00:59,460 I HARDLYS HAS ANY PUBLISHINGS, ANYWAYS! 26 00:00:59,543 --> 00:01:01,961 OH, WHY DOES TOKIS ALWAYS GETS THE BADS LUCK? 27 00:01:02,043 --> 00:01:04,543 I JUST HAVE ONE THING TO SAY BEFORE I KILL YOU. 28 00:01:04,627 --> 00:01:07,043 [ GUN COCKS ] Toki: W-WHATS? 29 00:01:07,126 --> 00:01:08,460 HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 30 00:01:08,543 --> 00:01:10,168 All: SURPRISE! 31 00:01:10,252 --> 00:01:11,919 Pickles: SURPRISE! 32 00:01:12,002 --> 00:01:13,085 Toki: OH, WOWEE! 33 00:01:13,168 --> 00:01:15,210 Nathan: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOTHERFUCKER 34 00:01:15,293 --> 00:01:15,835 Toki: HEH. OH, YOUS. 35 00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:18,168 Pickles: WE TRICKED YOU! 36 00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:19,543 Toki: OH, YOUS TRICKED ME. 37 00:01:19,627 --> 00:01:20,710 Pickles: WE TRICKED YOU! 38 00:01:20,794 --> 00:01:23,210 Murderface: OH, THE LOOK ON YOUR FUCKING FACE! 39 00:01:23,293 --> 00:01:25,335 Nathan: YEAH. [ LAUGHS ] Toki: I THOUGHTS I WAS GONNA 40 00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:26,210 BE MURDEREDS. 41 00:01:26,293 --> 00:01:27,627 Skwisgaar: THAT'S THE IDEAS. 42 00:01:27,710 --> 00:01:28,377 YOU KNOW? 43 00:01:28,460 --> 00:01:29,794 SERIOUSLYS, THOUGH, TOKIS. 44 00:01:29,877 --> 00:01:31,126 HAPPYS BIRTHDAY, HUH? 45 00:01:31,210 --> 00:01:33,710 Toki: I REALLY, REALLY, THOUGHTS I WAS GONNA DIE. 46 00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:35,377 Pickles: WELP, GO GET CLEANED UP. 47 00:01:35,460 --> 00:01:37,002 WE GOT TONS OF FUN PLANNED TONIGHT. 48 00:01:37,085 --> 00:01:39,710 AND, DUDE, THERE'S ABOUT A HUNDRED SLUTS OUT THERE THAT 49 00:01:39,794 --> 00:01:41,877 CAME OVER TO FUCK YOUR BRAINS OUT. 50 00:01:41,961 --> 00:01:44,377 [ GIGGLES ] Toki: OH, WONDERSFULS. 51 00:01:44,460 --> 00:01:45,460 JUST WHAT I NEEDS. 52 00:01:45,543 --> 00:01:46,710 MORE SLUTS. 53 00:01:46,794 --> 00:01:49,043 ♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK ♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK 54 00:01:49,126 --> 00:01:51,543 ♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK ♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK 55 00:01:51,627 --> 00:01:54,835 ♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK ♪ DETHKLOK! DETHKLOK! DETHKLOK! 56 00:01:54,919 --> 00:01:58,126 DETHKLOK! ♪ ♪ I'M...TICKING... 57 00:01:58,210 --> 00:02:01,877 FOR...THE... ♪ ♪ DETHKLOK, DETHKLOK 58 00:02:01,961 --> 00:02:04,543 ♪ SKWISGAAR SKWIGELF, TALLER THAN A TREE ♪ 59 00:02:04,627 --> 00:02:06,919 ♪ TOKI WARTOOTH, NOT A BUMBLEBEE ♪ 60 00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:09,794 ♪ WILLIAM MURDERFACE MURDERFACE MURDERFACE ♪ 61 00:02:09,877 --> 00:02:12,460 ♪ PICKLES THE DRUMMER DOODILY DOO DING DONG DOODILY ♪ 62 00:02:12,543 --> 00:02:14,377 ♪ NATHAN EXPLOSION TOKI WARTOOTH -- 63 00:02:20,794 --> 00:02:24,126 MULTIMILLIONAIRE, NO WEDDING RING, NO GIRLFRIEND, LONG, 64 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:28,168 FLOWING HAIR -- ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PRE-OP TRANNIES I'VE 65 00:02:28,252 --> 00:02:29,293 EVER SEEN. 66 00:02:29,377 --> 00:02:31,168 [ LAUGHTER ] Pickles: OH, NO, YOU DIDN'T! 67 00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:33,585 GET ANOTHER DRINK IN ME, I MIGHT TAKE A CRACK AT YOU 68 00:02:33,669 --> 00:02:34,752 MYSELF. 69 00:02:34,835 --> 00:02:37,210 [ LAUGHTER ] LOOK WHAT WE HAVE HERE -- THE 70 00:02:37,293 --> 00:02:38,627 REST OF DETHKLOK JUST HANGING OUT. 71 00:02:38,710 --> 00:02:39,293 WHAT A TREAT. 72 00:02:39,377 --> 00:02:40,585 PICKLES THE DRUMMER. 73 00:02:40,669 --> 00:02:42,168 YOU KNOW, HE'S SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, HE THINKS HE'S WATCHING 74 00:02:42,252 --> 00:02:43,252 THIS ON YouTube. 75 00:02:43,335 --> 00:02:45,627 [ LAUGHTER ] Pickles: I ACTUALLY DO! 76 00:02:45,710 --> 00:02:46,919 AND WILLIAM MURDERFACE. 77 00:02:47,043 --> 00:02:49,460 WHAT'S IT LIKE SPENDING ALL DAY HANGING OUT WITH ACTUAL 78 00:02:49,543 --> 00:02:50,543 MUSICIANS? 79 00:02:50,627 --> 00:02:53,585 [ LAUGHTER ] ALL THOSE YEARS AND NOTHING'S 80 00:02:53,669 --> 00:02:54,418 RUBBED OFF? 81 00:02:54,502 --> 00:02:55,794 Nathan: YEAH! 82 00:02:55,877 --> 00:02:58,752 SERIOUSLY, FOLKS, WHAT DO YOU THROW A DROWNING BASS PLAYER? 83 00:02:58,835 --> 00:02:59,877 HIS AMP. 84 00:02:59,961 --> 00:03:03,002 [ LAUGHTER ] SKWISGAAR SKWIGELF -- WE GOT HIM 85 00:03:03,085 --> 00:03:04,585 RIGHT HERE. 86 00:03:04,669 --> 00:03:06,961 YOU FUCK MORE WOMEN THAN BREAST CANCER. 87 00:03:07,043 --> 00:03:08,627 Pickles: YEAH! 88 00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:10,126 I'M KIDDING, OF COURSE. 89 00:03:10,210 --> 00:03:12,043 BUT BACK TO MURDERFACE. 90 00:03:12,126 --> 00:03:15,835 AFTER SELLING KRILLIONS OF RECORDS, IT'S REFRESHING TO SEE 91 00:03:15,919 --> 00:03:18,377 THAT WOMEN STILL WON'T FUCK YOU. 92 00:03:18,460 --> 00:03:22,002 [ LAUGHTER ] SKANKY CRACK WHORES WHO NEED THE 93 00:03:22,085 --> 00:03:24,627 MONEY, THEY'RE LIKE, "NO, THANKS." 94 00:03:24,710 --> 00:03:26,669 Murderface: THAT'S NOT TRUE. 95 00:03:26,752 --> 00:03:27,794 HOW ABOUT YOU OVER THERE? 96 00:03:27,877 --> 00:03:30,002 WE'VE GOT TONTO IN THE BUILDING. 97 00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:32,919 [ APPLAUSE ] WHY CAN'T YOU USE YOUR MAGICAL 98 00:03:33,002 --> 00:03:36,210 INDIAN TRACKING SKILLS TO FIND SOME SOAP AND WATER? 99 00:03:36,293 --> 00:03:39,335 [ LAUGHTER ] I CAN'T TELL IF YOU HAVEN'T 100 00:03:39,418 --> 00:03:42,418 SHOWERED OR IF SOMEBODY'S OPENING UP A FACTORY WHERE THEY 101 00:03:42,502 --> 00:03:45,168 PRODUCE THINGS THAT SMELL LIKE SHIT. 102 00:03:45,252 --> 00:03:48,168 [ AUDIENCE GASPS ] Nathan: GIVE HIM A ROUND OF 103 00:03:48,252 --> 00:03:48,669 APPLAUSE. 104 00:03:48,752 --> 00:03:50,002 HE'S GOOD. 105 00:03:50,085 --> 00:03:51,085 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] Pickles: DUDE, TOKI, THERE 106 00:03:54,877 --> 00:03:55,794 YOU ARE. 107 00:03:55,877 --> 00:03:57,043 WE'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU. 108 00:03:57,126 --> 00:03:58,210 HI. 109 00:03:58,293 --> 00:04:00,794 Toki: OH, TAKES THEM AWAY, PLEASE, PICKLE. 110 00:04:00,877 --> 00:04:01,877 PLEASE? 111 00:04:01,961 --> 00:04:04,710 Pickles: YOU HEARD HIM, GIRLS. 112 00:04:04,794 --> 00:04:06,335 HEY, WHY'D YOU DO THAT? 113 00:04:06,418 --> 00:04:08,002 THEY WERE ALL GONNA FUCK YOUR BRAINS OUT. 114 00:04:08,085 --> 00:04:10,168 Toki: I DON'Ts WANTS NO MORE HOT SLUTS. 115 00:04:10,252 --> 00:04:11,293 DON'Ts YOU GETS IT? 116 00:04:11,377 --> 00:04:13,669 THEY ONLY WANTS US BECAUSE WE AMS FAMOUS! 117 00:04:13,752 --> 00:04:17,126 ALLS OF THIS AMS BULLSHIT SURROUNDEDS BY SKANKIES GOLDS 118 00:04:17,210 --> 00:04:18,543 DIGGERS AND SLUTS ALL DAYS! 119 00:04:18,627 --> 00:04:21,627 Pickles: HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT ABOUT SKANKY GOLD DIGGERS 120 00:04:21,710 --> 00:04:22,252 AND SLUTS! 121 00:04:22,335 --> 00:04:23,669 THAT IS OFFENSIVE! 122 00:04:23,752 --> 00:04:24,961 SHAME ON YOU! 123 00:04:25,043 --> 00:04:26,585 Toki: CAN'Ts YOU SEE? 124 00:04:26,669 --> 00:04:27,794 I WANTS A REAL WOMAN. 125 00:04:27,877 --> 00:04:29,377 Pickles: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! 126 00:04:29,460 --> 00:04:32,710 Toki: I WANTS A WOMANS, PICKLE -- A REALS WOMANS, A 127 00:04:32,794 --> 00:04:35,085 WOMANS WHATS CAN BEARS MY CHILDRENS. 128 00:04:35,168 --> 00:04:40,335 ANDS I WILL DOs ANYTHINGS I NEEDS TO FINDS HER. 129 00:04:40,418 --> 00:04:42,877 WOMEN AROUND THE WORLD HAVE LINED UP TO FOR A CHANCE TO MEET 130 00:04:42,961 --> 00:04:44,460 AND HOPEFULLY MARRY TOKI WARTOOTH. 131 00:04:44,543 --> 00:04:47,210 THE LINES ARE BIG, AND IT'S GETTING VIOLENT, BUT DO THEY 132 00:04:47,293 --> 00:04:48,502 EVEN HAVE A CHANCE? 133 00:04:48,585 --> 00:04:50,919 AND THAT'S THE "DETHKLOK MINUTE." 134 00:04:51,002 --> 00:04:53,335 Nathan: HEY, TOKI, THAT'S PRETTY COOL. 135 00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:55,710 YOU GOT MENTIONED IN THE "DETHKLOK MINUTE." 136 00:04:55,794 --> 00:04:56,877 Toki: THANKS, NATHANS. 137 00:04:56,961 --> 00:04:58,252 BUT, GUYS, I'M NERVOUS. 138 00:04:58,335 --> 00:05:00,252 I DON'T EVEN KNOWS HOW TO GOES ABOUTS THIS FINDINGS A LADY 139 00:05:00,335 --> 00:05:01,252 BUSINESS. 140 00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:02,835 Nathan: OH, TOKI, THAT IS CUTE. 141 00:05:02,919 --> 00:05:04,168 THAT'S PRECIOUS. 142 00:05:04,252 --> 00:05:06,252 Pickles: YOU NEED SOME DATING ADVICE FROM YOUR PALS. 143 00:05:06,335 --> 00:05:08,335 Toki: WELL, THATS WOULD BE VERY HELPFUL, PICKLE. 144 00:05:08,418 --> 00:05:11,002 Pickles: OKAY, WELL, HERE'S WHAT YOU DO TO MEET A LADY, 145 00:05:11,085 --> 00:05:12,418 ALL RIGHT? 146 00:05:12,502 --> 00:05:15,126 YOU GET YOUR TOUR MANAGER TO FIND SOME CHICK, AND THEN, WHEN 147 00:05:15,210 --> 00:05:17,669 HE BRINGS HER BACKSTAGE, YOU PULL OUT YOUR DICK. 148 00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:18,585 Skwisgaar: YEAH. 149 00:05:18,669 --> 00:05:19,919 YOU PULLS OUT YOUR DICKS. 150 00:05:20,002 --> 00:05:21,627 Toki: PULLS OUT YOUR -- GUYS, I'M TALKINGS ABOUT REAL 151 00:05:21,710 --> 00:05:22,710 DATES HERE. 152 00:05:22,794 --> 00:05:24,335 Pickles: HOW IS THAT NOT A REAL DATE? 153 00:05:24,418 --> 00:05:26,293 Nathan: YEAH, HOW IS THAT NOT A REAL DATE, TOKI? 154 00:05:26,377 --> 00:05:29,085 Toki: A DATES WHERES YOU ACTUALLY TALKS TO A GIRL, AND 155 00:05:29,168 --> 00:05:31,710 SHE SAYS STUFFS, AND YOU ASK HER QUESTIONS -- 156 00:05:31,794 --> 00:05:32,627 Skwisgaar: QUESTIONS? 157 00:05:32,710 --> 00:05:33,669 WAIT A MINUTE. 158 00:05:33,752 --> 00:05:34,961 QUESTIONS? 159 00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:37,085 YOU MEANS LIKE "WHENS WE ARE IN COURTS" QUESTIONS? 160 00:05:37,168 --> 00:05:39,043 Murderface: TOKI, UH, LOOK. 161 00:05:39,126 --> 00:05:40,627 YOU NEED SOME LADY ADVICE. 162 00:05:40,710 --> 00:05:42,293 YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE. 163 00:05:42,377 --> 00:05:45,835 IN MY EXPERIENCE -- Skwisgaar: [ SCOFFS ] 164 00:05:45,919 --> 00:05:46,961 Murderface: I'M SORRY. 165 00:05:47,043 --> 00:05:48,669 ARE -- ARE YOU SCOFFING AT ME? 166 00:05:48,752 --> 00:05:49,752 Skwisgaar: NOPES. 167 00:05:49,835 --> 00:05:51,335 [ LAUGHS ] Murderface: OKAY, LOOK, I'M A 168 00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:52,126 LITTLE SICK OF THIS. 169 00:05:52,210 --> 00:05:53,335 Nathan: SICK OF WHAT? 170 00:05:53,418 --> 00:05:55,543 Murderface: OF PEOPLE THINKING I DON'T GET ANY 171 00:05:55,627 --> 00:05:56,627 ACTION. 172 00:05:56,710 --> 00:05:57,961 THAT FUCKING COMIC TALKING ALL THAT SHIT 173 00:05:58,043 --> 00:06:00,627 WELL, I'LL HAVE YOU ALL KNOW THAT I DO GET LAID -- 174 00:06:00,710 --> 00:06:02,126 CONSTANTLY. 175 00:06:02,210 --> 00:06:04,126 Skwisgaar: WHY ARE YOUS DIRECTINGS THAT AT ME? 176 00:06:04,210 --> 00:06:05,293 I DIDN'T EVEN SAYS NOTHING. 177 00:06:05,377 --> 00:06:07,377 Murderface: BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. 178 00:06:07,460 --> 00:06:09,502 YOU THINK YOU'RE THE KING, AND YOU FUCKING AREN'T! 179 00:06:09,585 --> 00:06:11,126 I AM! 180 00:06:11,210 --> 00:06:12,460 KING OF GETTING LAID! 181 00:06:12,543 --> 00:06:14,961 Pickles: MURDERFACE -- OKAY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO PROVE 182 00:06:15,043 --> 00:06:15,710 THINGS TO US. 183 00:06:15,794 --> 00:06:17,085 IT'S FINE. 184 00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:18,627 Murderface: NO, FUCK YOU, PICKLES, YOU SMUG ASSHOLE! 185 00:06:18,710 --> 00:06:20,835 I CAN GET ANY GIRL SKWISGAAR GETS! 186 00:06:20,919 --> 00:06:21,919 ANY GIRL! 187 00:06:22,002 --> 00:06:23,585 YOU DICKS DOUBT ME?! 188 00:06:23,669 --> 00:06:24,168 HUH?! 189 00:06:24,252 --> 00:06:25,502 Nathan: YES. 190 00:06:25,585 --> 00:06:27,168 Murderface: [ STAMMERING ] THEN I'LL FUCKING PROVE IT! 191 00:06:27,252 --> 00:06:31,669 STARTING NOW, I WILL SLEEP WITH AS MANY GIRLS AS SKWISGAAR DOES. 192 00:06:31,752 --> 00:06:32,669 Nathan: ALL RIGHT, FINE. YOU'RE ON. 193 00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,002 WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO FOR PROOF? 194 00:06:35,085 --> 00:06:39,335 Pickles: HOW ABOUT LADY'S UNDERPANTS AND/OR RECORDED VIDEO 195 00:06:39,418 --> 00:06:40,835 AND/OR AUDIO TESTIMONIAL? 196 00:06:40,919 --> 00:06:42,293 Murderface: OKAY, FINE! 197 00:06:42,377 --> 00:06:43,043 IT'S A BET! Skwisgaar: ALL RIGHTS. 198 00:06:43,919 --> 00:06:45,168 WELL, I'LL GETS OUT OF HERE. 199 00:06:45,252 --> 00:06:46,835 THINKS I'M GONNA GETS A HEAD STARTS ON HUMILIATING YOUS. 200 00:06:46,919 --> 00:06:47,669 ALL RIGHT? 201 00:06:47,752 --> 00:06:48,835 Murderface: OH, YEAH, RIGHT. 202 00:06:48,919 --> 00:06:52,168 AND I'M GONNA GET SO MUCH PUSSY I MIGHT CHOKE! 203 00:06:52,252 --> 00:06:53,002 ON IT. 204 00:06:53,085 --> 00:06:55,126 ON THE PUSSY ON ALL THAT PUSSY 205 00:06:55,210 --> 00:06:56,293 I'M GONNA CHOKE. 206 00:06:56,377 --> 00:06:58,043 Toki: OH, YOU GUYS MAKES ME FUCKING SICKS. 207 00:06:58,126 --> 00:07:01,335 YOU'RE ALL SO REVOLTINGSLY SHALLOWS, ALLS OF YOU! 208 00:07:01,418 --> 00:07:03,543 I GOTS TO GO MEETS SOME PEOPLES AT A DATING AGENCYS! 209 00:07:03,627 --> 00:07:04,877 I'LL SEES YOU LATER, PALS! 210 00:07:04,961 --> 00:07:07,794 [ DOOR SLAMS ] MR. WARTOOTH, OUR COMPANY IS 211 00:07:07,877 --> 00:07:10,502 VERY SERIOUS ABOUT FINDING THEIR CLIENTS A LIFE-LADYMATE 212 00:07:10,585 --> 00:07:11,377 PARTNER. 213 00:07:11,460 --> 00:07:12,877 Toki: LIFE-LADYMATES PARTNER. 214 00:07:12,961 --> 00:07:14,126 YES. 215 00:07:14,210 --> 00:07:16,126 WE'RE CONFIDENT THAT OUR MATCHING SYSTEM IS SO SOLID THAT 216 00:07:16,210 --> 00:07:18,210 WE GIVE A 100% GUARANTEE. 217 00:07:18,293 --> 00:07:20,961 Toki: WELL, THAT AM SOME IMPRESSIVE NUMBERS, BUTS I'M 218 00:07:21,043 --> 00:07:24,002 LOOKINGS NOT ONLYS FOR A FRIENDS BUT ALSO A COMPANIONS AND THE 219 00:07:24,085 --> 00:07:25,460 MOTHERS TO MY CHILDRENS. 220 00:07:25,543 --> 00:07:26,585 OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 221 00:07:26,669 --> 00:07:28,335 NO -- NO PROBLEM. 222 00:07:28,418 --> 00:07:29,377 Toki: THAT'S IT? 223 00:07:29,460 --> 00:07:30,502 YES, SIR. 224 00:07:30,585 --> 00:07:31,961 Toki: HUH. 225 00:07:32,043 --> 00:07:34,585 WE CAN PINPOINT YOUR FUTURE LADYMATE PARTNER'S FERTILITY TO 226 00:07:34,669 --> 00:07:35,877 THE SECOND. 227 00:07:35,961 --> 00:07:37,877 Murderface: [ GROANS ] NOT TO BRAG, BUT I CAN PINPOINT 228 00:07:37,961 --> 00:07:39,543 MY FERTILITY, TOO. 229 00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:43,418 ALL I NEED IS SOME LOTION AND A LITTLE DSL-QUALITY INTERNET AND 230 00:07:43,502 --> 00:07:44,919 SOME NAPKINS. 231 00:07:45,002 --> 00:07:46,377 I'M KIDDING, OF COURSE! 232 00:07:46,460 --> 00:07:47,835 KEEP GOING. 233 00:07:47,919 --> 00:07:50,752 Toki: I TOLDS YOU YOU COULD COMES IN IF YOU DIDN'Ts RUINS MY 234 00:07:50,835 --> 00:07:51,961 MEETING. 235 00:07:52,043 --> 00:07:54,335 Murderface: I THINK I'M ENHANCING THE MEETING. 236 00:07:54,418 --> 00:07:57,543 LOOK, SIR, I JUST WANT TO MEET LIKE A HUNDRED GIRLS AND FUCK 237 00:07:57,627 --> 00:07:58,877 THE BAJEESUS OUT OF THEM. 238 00:07:58,961 --> 00:08:01,669 SO, UH, CAN WE SET UP AN ACCOUNT HERE OR SOMETHING? 239 00:08:01,752 --> 00:08:02,794 WE DON'T DO THAT HERE. 240 00:08:02,877 --> 00:08:03,752 THIS IS FOR LIFEMATES. Murderface: DAMN! 241 00:08:04,835 --> 00:08:05,919 THIS IS NOT GONNA BE EASY. 242 00:08:06,002 --> 00:08:07,919 Toki: JUST WAITS IN THE FUCKING LOBBY! 243 00:08:08,002 --> 00:08:09,669 Murderface: SORRY! GAAAAH! 244 00:08:09,752 --> 00:08:12,710 YOU BETTER FIND THIS GUY SOME PUSSY BECAUSE HE IS REALLY -- 245 00:08:12,794 --> 00:08:14,794 Toki: WILL YOU FUCKING GETS OUTTA HERE?! 246 00:08:14,877 --> 00:08:17,085 [ DOOR OPENS ] LIKE I WAS SAYING, OUR 247 00:08:17,168 --> 00:08:19,585 MATCHES ARE ACCURATE, BUT WE NEED INFORMATION FROM YOU. 248 00:08:19,669 --> 00:08:21,460 FIRST OFF -- LOOKS. 249 00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,460 WE KNOW IT'S IMPORTANT THAT YOU BE ATTRACTED TO YOUR PARTNER, SO 250 00:08:23,543 --> 00:08:25,627 WE WANT TO MAKE SURE -- Toki: WELL, FIRST OFF, I 251 00:08:25,710 --> 00:08:28,418 DON'T EVEN WANTS HER TO KNOWS I'M FAMOUS, AND I DON'T CARES 252 00:08:28,502 --> 00:08:29,835 WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKES. 253 00:08:29,919 --> 00:08:31,126 LOOKS AM FLEETINGS. 254 00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:34,460 I'M NOT SOME SHALLOWS DILDOS WHATS ONLY CARES ABOUTS TITS. 255 00:08:34,543 --> 00:08:37,710 I WANTS A PURES WOMANS WITH CONSFIDENSK AND A TRUE HEARTS, 256 00:08:37,794 --> 00:08:39,043 SOMEONES I CANS TALKS TO. 257 00:08:39,126 --> 00:08:39,794 I GET THE IDEA. 258 00:08:39,877 --> 00:08:40,877 I THINK WE'RE DONE. 259 00:08:40,961 --> 00:08:42,126 Toki: OH, THANKS YOU SO MUCH! 260 00:08:42,210 --> 00:08:43,502 THATS AMS WONDERFUL NEWS! 261 00:08:43,585 --> 00:08:50,335 OH, AND, TOKI, LIKE I SAID -- WE GUARANTEE OUR RESULTS. 262 00:08:50,418 --> 00:08:52,335 Murderface: I CAN DO EVERYTHING SKWISGAAR CAN. 263 00:08:52,418 --> 00:08:54,877 IF I CAN GET THESE LADIES, I CAN MAKE THEM -- 264 00:08:54,961 --> 00:08:56,460 OKAY, CALM DOWN. 265 00:08:56,543 --> 00:08:57,794 HELLO, EVERYBODY! 266 00:08:57,877 --> 00:08:59,794 SURPRISE INSPECTION! 267 00:08:59,877 --> 00:09:01,252 HA! HA HA! 268 00:09:01,335 --> 00:09:02,085 RIGHT? 269 00:09:02,168 --> 00:09:03,794 Murderface: HI, THERE, MISSY. 270 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,961 [ SIGHS ] Murderface: EXCUSE ME. 271 00:09:06,043 --> 00:09:08,335 MIND IF I GET IN THERE AND CHECK MY MySpace ACCOUNT? 272 00:09:08,418 --> 00:09:09,669 I'M WORKING, ACTUALLY. 273 00:09:09,752 --> 00:09:12,085 Murderface: YEAH, JUST GET A LITTLE COMFORTABLE HERE. 274 00:09:12,168 --> 00:09:14,710 AHH! 275 00:09:14,794 --> 00:09:17,168 JUST APPROVE A COUPLE COMMENTS. 276 00:09:17,252 --> 00:09:18,710 I GET A LOT OF CRAZY COMMENTS. 277 00:09:18,794 --> 00:09:21,877 YOU'RE PROBABLY A LITTLE STAR STRUCK RIGHT NOW. 278 00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:22,919 JUST RELAX. 279 00:09:23,002 --> 00:09:24,418 I'M TRYING TO GET SOME WORK DONE. 280 00:09:24,502 --> 00:09:25,418 Murderface: RELAX. 281 00:09:25,502 --> 00:09:26,669 I'M JUST A REGULAR GUY. 282 00:09:26,752 --> 00:09:30,377 I MEAN, SURE, I'M A MULTI-BILLIONAIRE, AND I AM YOUR 283 00:09:30,460 --> 00:09:33,085 BOSS, SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. 284 00:09:33,168 --> 00:09:36,085 IF YOU WANT TO KEEP -- AAAAH! 285 00:09:36,168 --> 00:09:36,752 GEE! 286 00:09:36,835 --> 00:09:39,002 OW! OW! OW! 287 00:09:39,085 --> 00:09:42,502 [ CELLPHONE RINGS ] Toki: HELLOS? 288 00:09:42,585 --> 00:09:43,252 MR. WARTOOTH? 289 00:09:43,335 --> 00:09:44,335 Toki: OH, YES. 290 00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:46,002 I HAVE SOME VERY GOOD NEWS FOR YOU. 291 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:47,043 WE FOUND YOUR LADYMATE. 292 00:09:47,126 --> 00:09:48,752 Toki: HEYS, THEY FOUNDS MY LADYMATES! 293 00:09:48,835 --> 00:09:51,126 WE FOUND THE LADY YOU ARE GOING TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR 294 00:09:51,210 --> 00:09:52,002 LIFE WITH. 295 00:09:52,085 --> 00:09:53,710 HER NAME IS CAROLINE BSIJLDFJO. 296 00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:54,710 Toki: OH, WOWEE! 297 00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:56,002 THAT'S GREATS NEWS! 298 00:09:56,085 --> 00:09:57,877 [ ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS ] GUYS, I'M GOING ONS MY BIG 299 00:09:57,961 --> 00:09:58,377 DATES. 300 00:09:58,460 --> 00:09:59,502 WISH ME LUCKS! 301 00:09:59,585 --> 00:10:01,210 Nathan: GOOD LUCK! 302 00:10:01,293 --> 00:10:05,377 Toki: [ Autotuned ] ♪ I NEVER METS YOU ♪ 303 00:10:05,460 --> 00:10:12,377 ♪ BUT I THINKS I LOVES YOU ♪ YOU AMS THE WOMANS OF MY 304 00:10:12,460 --> 00:10:21,377 DREAMS ♪ ♪ COMPUTERS TECHNOLOGIES 305 00:10:21,460 --> 00:10:28,252 BROUGHT US TOGETHER ♪ ♪ AND I THINKS THAT YOU ARE THE 306 00:10:28,335 --> 00:10:39,418 ONES FOR ME ♪ ♪ I AM TOK-I-I-I-I-I-I 307 00:10:39,502 --> 00:10:49,418 ♪ YOU AM CAROLI-I-I-I-I-I-I-NE ♪ AND WE METS ONLINES 308 00:10:49,502 --> 00:10:55,252 ♪ YOU AM CAROLI-I-I-I-I-I-I-NE ♪ AND WE METS ONLINES 309 00:10:55,335 --> 00:11:03,627 ♪ BECAUSE I'M GONNA MAKES YOU MI-I-I-I-I-NES ♪ 310 00:11:03,710 --> 00:11:11,794 ♪ PROBABLY GETS MARRIED ♪ PROBABLY HAS CHILDRENS 311 00:11:11,877 --> 00:11:15,502 ♪ PROBABLY LIVES OUR LIVES TOGETHERS ♪ 312 00:11:15,585 --> 00:11:24,835 ♪ PROBABLY DIES TOGETHERS ♪ I AM TOKI 313 00:11:24,919 --> 00:11:27,085 HI. 314 00:11:27,168 --> 00:11:28,794 Toki: HI. 315 00:11:38,877 --> 00:11:40,377 OH, HERE'S MY FERTILITY CHART. 316 00:11:40,460 --> 00:11:42,293 Toki: OH, IT'S, UH -- REALLY? 317 00:11:42,377 --> 00:11:43,961 THE 15th -- YOU'LL HAVE TO KEEP IT OPEN. 318 00:11:44,043 --> 00:11:45,126 Toki: THE 15ths? 319 00:11:45,210 --> 00:11:46,794 OH, THAT'S WHEN WE'LL HAVE INTERCOURSE. 320 00:11:46,877 --> 00:11:48,627 Toki: INST-- INSTERCOURSE? 321 00:11:48,710 --> 00:11:50,585 I MEANS, WE JUST BARELYS METS. 322 00:11:50,669 --> 00:11:53,335 I LIKE THE NAME WILTHMORE OR DONNINGTON. 323 00:11:53,418 --> 00:11:54,460 Toki: FOR WHATS? 324 00:11:54,543 --> 00:11:55,252 FOR OUR BABY. 325 00:11:55,335 --> 00:11:56,585 I'VE GOT TO GO. 326 00:11:56,669 --> 00:11:58,961 LOOKING FORWARD TO OUR LONG, LONG FUTURE TOGETHER, LIFE MATE. 327 00:11:59,043 --> 00:12:00,377 Toki: OH. 328 00:12:00,460 --> 00:12:02,418 DON'T FORGET -- KEEP THE 15th OPEN SO YOU CAN DEPOSIT YOUR 329 00:12:02,502 --> 00:12:05,502 SPERM INTO MY VAGINA WITH YOUR PENIS. 330 00:12:05,585 --> 00:12:06,877 Toki: OKAY. 331 00:12:06,961 --> 00:12:08,961 Charles: MURDERFACE, THERE'S A SEXUAL-HARASSMENT LAWSUIT 332 00:12:09,043 --> 00:12:11,168 BEING FILED AGAINST YOU BY ONE OF OUR EMPLOYEES AT THE ONLINE 333 00:12:11,252 --> 00:12:12,168 DEPARTMENT. 334 00:12:12,252 --> 00:12:13,335 Murderface: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 335 00:12:13,418 --> 00:12:15,794 THAT IS FUCKING BULLSHIT WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO? 336 00:12:15,877 --> 00:12:18,335 I DIDN'T EVEN GET A CHANCE TO SEXUALLY HARASS HER! 337 00:12:18,418 --> 00:12:20,627 Charles: WHETHER OR NOT IT'S TRUE IS BESIDE THE POINT. 338 00:12:20,710 --> 00:12:23,085 IN CASES LIKE THESE, IT'S BEST TO PROVIDE A LUMP PAYMENT, OUT 339 00:12:23,168 --> 00:12:23,919 OF YOUR POCKET, OF COURSE. 340 00:12:24,002 --> 00:12:25,210 SETTLE OUT OF COURT. 341 00:12:25,293 --> 00:12:26,669 OH, AND YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO ATTEND A SEXUAL-HARASSMENT 342 00:12:26,752 --> 00:12:27,669 SEMINAR. 343 00:12:27,752 --> 00:12:29,752 Murderface: SEXUAL-HARASSMENT SEMINAR? 344 00:12:29,835 --> 00:12:32,460 THAT'S GONNA TOTALLY INTERFERE WITH ME GETTING PUSSY 345 00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:34,877 I BETTER NOT LOSE THIS BET BECAUSE OF THIS. 346 00:12:34,961 --> 00:12:37,752 I WONDER IF SKWISGAAR'S EVEN PARTICIPATING. 347 00:12:37,835 --> 00:12:39,710 [ ALL MOANING PASSIONATELY ] [ HEART BEATING ] 348 00:12:49,627 --> 00:12:50,710 Pickles: SO? 349 00:12:50,794 --> 00:12:51,752 HOW WAS THE DATE? 350 00:12:51,835 --> 00:12:52,710 Toki: GREAT! 351 00:12:52,794 --> 00:12:54,252 SHE'S, UH, REALLYS THE ONES! 352 00:12:54,335 --> 00:12:56,418 OH, AND, WH-- WHAT'S A PERSONALITYS. 353 00:12:56,502 --> 00:12:57,710 Pickles: THAT'S GREAT, MAN! 354 00:12:57,794 --> 00:12:59,085 WHEN DO WE GET TO MEET HER? 355 00:12:59,168 --> 00:12:59,919 Toki: NEVERS. 356 00:13:00,002 --> 00:13:01,126 Pickles: OH, I GET IT. 357 00:13:01,210 --> 00:13:03,502 YOU'RE AFRAID WE'LL TRY TO STEAL HER AWAY. 358 00:13:03,585 --> 00:13:05,877 SHE MUST BE SOMETHING, HUH? 359 00:13:05,961 --> 00:13:08,085 SHE MUST BE AN ANGEL, HUH? 360 00:13:08,168 --> 00:13:10,293 LIKE A GIFT FROM GOD. 361 00:13:10,377 --> 00:13:11,043 Toki: YUPS. 362 00:13:11,126 --> 00:13:12,252 Nathan: HEY, THAT'S GREAT. 363 00:13:12,335 --> 00:13:14,335 SO YOU REALLY RECOMMEND THIS DATING AGENCY, HUH? 364 00:13:14,418 --> 00:13:16,002 Toki: OH, NOTS REALLYS, NO! 365 00:13:16,085 --> 00:13:16,543 NO! 366 00:13:16,627 --> 00:13:17,585 IT'S, UH... 367 00:13:17,669 --> 00:13:19,210 IT'S TOOS EXPENSIVES! 368 00:13:19,293 --> 00:13:21,252 IT'S JUST WAYS TOOS EXPENSIVES! 369 00:13:21,335 --> 00:13:23,585 Pickles: DUDE, BUT I THOUGHT THEY PICKED A WINNER FOR YOU. 370 00:13:23,669 --> 00:13:24,752 Toki: HEY, I GOTS AN IDEA! 371 00:13:24,835 --> 00:13:26,418 HOW ABOUTS NO MORE TALKINGS ABOUT THIS? 372 00:13:26,502 --> 00:13:28,835 YEAH, I HAVE TO GOs MEETS WITH THEMS ACTUALLYS RIGHT NOW! 373 00:13:28,919 --> 00:13:29,961 GOODBYE! 374 00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:32,293 [ DOOR SLAMS ] Nathan: WOW, I NEVER SEEN THE 375 00:13:32,377 --> 00:13:33,794 KID SO HAPPY. 376 00:13:33,877 --> 00:13:34,961 HI, FOLKS! 377 00:13:35,043 --> 00:13:36,293 IT'S ME -- FACEBONES! 378 00:13:36,377 --> 00:13:37,919 ALL RIGHT, FACEBONES! 379 00:13:38,002 --> 00:13:39,252 AAH! AAH! 380 00:13:39,335 --> 00:13:42,418 I'M HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT A VERY SERIOUS ISSUE -- SEXUAL 381 00:13:42,502 --> 00:13:44,085 HARASSMENT IN THE WORKPLACE! 382 00:13:44,168 --> 00:13:46,794 BUT FIRST, WHAT IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT? 383 00:13:46,877 --> 00:13:49,752 WELL, SEXUAL HARASSMENT IS THE ACT OF DEGRADING PEOPLE WITH 384 00:13:49,835 --> 00:13:51,252 YOUR SEXUALITY. 385 00:13:51,335 --> 00:13:53,877 IT TAKES THE POWER AWAY FROM THE PERSON BEING HARASSED AND 386 00:13:53,961 --> 00:13:55,877 MAKES THE HARASSER MORE POWERFUL THAN EVER. 387 00:13:55,961 --> 00:13:57,752 Murderface: I GOT FUCKING] PEPPER-SPRAYED. 388 00:13:57,835 --> 00:13:59,877 HOW -- HOW DOES THAT GIVE ME POWER? 389 00:13:59,961 --> 00:14:02,460 COMPLIMENTS IN THE WORKPLACE CAN EASILY BECOME MISCONSTRUED 390 00:14:02,543 --> 00:14:03,210 AND TAKEN AS FLIRTATION. 391 00:14:03,293 --> 00:14:05,043 NOW A SHORT EXAMPLE. 392 00:14:05,126 --> 00:14:07,627 IN THIS EXAMPLE, A KLOKATEER WILL BE EQUIPPED WITH A SHOCKING 393 00:14:07,710 --> 00:14:10,043 MECHANISM THAT WILL HELP GUIDE HIM INTO BEHAVING PROPERLY AT 394 00:14:10,126 --> 00:14:10,794 WORK. 395 00:14:10,877 --> 00:14:12,126 IS THAT A NEW BELT? 396 00:14:12,210 --> 00:14:13,377 YES. IT IS. 397 00:14:13,460 --> 00:14:14,835 IT LOOKS VERY GOOD. 398 00:14:14,919 --> 00:14:16,210 AAH! 399 00:14:16,293 --> 00:14:17,835 SAYING THAT YOUR BELT LOOKS COULD BE TAKEN AS A SEXUAL 400 00:14:17,919 --> 00:14:18,460 ADVANCE. 401 00:14:18,543 --> 00:14:19,669 LET'S TRY THAT AGAIN. 402 00:14:19,752 --> 00:14:20,877 IS THAT A NEW BELT? 403 00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:21,835 YES. 404 00:14:21,919 --> 00:14:23,877 THAT IS GOOD INFORMATION TO HAVE. 405 00:14:23,961 --> 00:14:26,669 SAYING SOMETHING LIKE "THAT IS GOOD INFORMATION TO HAVE" 406 00:14:26,752 --> 00:14:29,543 COULD BE KIND OF CREEPY AND MAKE IT SEEM LIKE HE'S COMPILING 407 00:14:29,627 --> 00:14:32,585 INFORMATION FOR A PARKING-LOT ATTACK OR A HOME INVASION, AND 408 00:14:32,669 --> 00:14:34,126 THAT'S HARASSMENT! 409 00:14:34,210 --> 00:14:36,877 AAH! FUCK CURSING IN THE WORKPLACE CAN 410 00:14:36,961 --> 00:14:38,252 ALSO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL AWKWARD. 411 00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:39,418 NOW LET'S TRY THAT AGAIN. 412 00:14:39,502 --> 00:14:40,252 IS THAT A NEW BELT? YES, IT IS. 413 00:14:41,252 --> 00:14:42,460 AAH! 414 00:14:42,543 --> 00:14:44,585 BEST TO AVOID ALL THOSE COMPLIMENTS AND CONTINUE 415 00:14:44,669 --> 00:14:45,961 WORKING. 416 00:14:46,043 --> 00:14:51,335 NOW LET'S WATCH AGAIN WITHOUT ALL THOSE CONFUSING COMPLIMENTS. 417 00:14:51,418 --> 00:14:52,794 WELL DONE. 418 00:14:52,877 --> 00:14:54,710 BUT WHAT IF OUR KLOKATEER WANTED TO NOT MAKE ANY COMPLIMENTS BUT, 419 00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:55,669 INSTEAD, A FUN JOKE. 420 00:14:55,752 --> 00:14:57,210 NO JOKING IN THE WORKPLACE. 421 00:14:57,293 --> 00:14:58,794 NO JOKING IN THE WORKPLACE. 422 00:14:58,877 --> 00:15:00,502 HUMOR IS HURTFUL AND CAN RUIN LIVES. 423 00:15:00,585 --> 00:15:01,835 WE'RE ALMOST DONE, FOLKS. 424 00:15:01,919 --> 00:15:04,168 WE'RE ROUNDING THE CORNER TO FINISHING UP OUR 425 00:15:04,252 --> 00:15:06,543 SEXUAL-HARASSMENT FUN MARATHON! 426 00:15:06,627 --> 00:15:08,627 AND NOW SOME PRACTICAL INFORMATION. 427 00:15:08,710 --> 00:15:10,043 DO NOT LINGER AROUND IN RESTROOMS. 428 00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:12,627 KEEP YOUR OFFICE DOOR OPEN SO THAT PEOPLE CAN SEE THAT YOU'RE 429 00:15:12,710 --> 00:15:14,085 CLEARLY NOT JACKING OFF IN THERE. 430 00:15:14,168 --> 00:15:16,919 IF YOU GET A BONER DURING WORK, BEST TO EXCUSE YOURSELF AND GO 431 00:15:17,002 --> 00:15:18,210 HOME! 432 00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:19,961 HERE'S A LIST OF THINGS TO REMEMBER TO AVOID BEING CAUGHT 433 00:15:20,043 --> 00:15:22,002 IN A TRICKY SEXUAL-HARASSMENT LAWSUIT! 434 00:15:22,085 --> 00:15:22,877 HERE WE GO! 435 00:15:22,961 --> 00:15:24,252 ERR ON THE SIDE OF CAUTION. 436 00:15:24,335 --> 00:15:25,252 DRESS CONSERVATIVELY. 437 00:15:25,335 --> 00:15:26,585 RESIST THE URGE TO BE FRIENDLY. 438 00:15:26,669 --> 00:15:28,085 THIS COULD BE TAKEN AS FLIRTING. 439 00:15:28,168 --> 00:15:30,126 IF YOU DO HAPPEN TO ACCIDENTALLY FLIRT, DO NOT MAKE UP FOR IT BY 440 00:15:30,210 --> 00:15:31,252 BEING OVERLY FRIENDLY. 441 00:15:31,335 --> 00:15:32,752 THIS COULD BE TAKEN AS AN AGGRESSIVE ATTACK! 442 00:15:32,835 --> 00:15:36,543 Murderface: WILL THIS THING NEVER END?! 443 00:15:36,627 --> 00:15:38,877 SO I'M HEARING THAT THE DATE WENT REALLY WELL. 444 00:15:38,961 --> 00:15:39,961 CONGRATULATIONS. 445 00:15:40,043 --> 00:15:42,335 THAT'S -- Toki: UH, FIRST OFFS, THANKS 446 00:15:42,418 --> 00:15:43,627 YOUS. 447 00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:46,460 HOWSEVER, I THINKS I MAY HAS BEEN MISMATCHED -- POSSIBLYS A 448 00:15:46,543 --> 00:15:49,418 MISTAKES ON YOUR BEHALFS? 449 00:15:49,502 --> 00:15:51,210 THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE, MR. WARTOOTH. 450 00:15:51,293 --> 00:15:54,168 Toki: WELPS, I MEANS, I'M NOTS TOTALLYS SURE I's MADE A 451 00:15:54,252 --> 00:15:57,835 TRULY SOLIDS CONNECTIONS WITH HERS, ANDS, UH, WELLS, UH... 452 00:15:57,919 --> 00:16:01,002 PHYSICALLYS SHE'S, UH -- AH, AH, AH! 453 00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:04,460 MR. WARTOOTH, YOU WEREN'T CONCERNED WITH HER LOOKS! 454 00:16:04,543 --> 00:16:06,335 IT SAYS RIGHT HERE ON YOUR PAPERS! 455 00:16:06,418 --> 00:16:07,794 Toki: YES, THAT'S TRUES. 456 00:16:07,877 --> 00:16:10,085 HOWEVERS, LET'S BACKS UP A LITTLE BITS HERE. 457 00:16:10,168 --> 00:16:14,669 HER PERSONALITIES IS KINDS OF -- HER PERSONALITY IS ADEQUATE 458 00:16:14,752 --> 00:16:17,418 FOR YOUR TEMPERAMENT, MR. WARTOOTH. 459 00:16:17,502 --> 00:16:20,210 eLadymates.com GUARANTEES ITS RESULTS. 460 00:16:20,293 --> 00:16:25,210 WE SUGGEST THAT YOU GO BACK AND CONCENTRATE ON MAKING THIS WORK. 461 00:16:25,293 --> 00:16:27,919 Toki: WELL, BUTS -- WE SUGGEST YOU GO. 462 00:16:28,002 --> 00:16:29,252 Toki: FINES! 463 00:16:29,335 --> 00:16:31,835 I'LL GOs AND TRIES TO MAKES IT WORKS, BUT YOU KNOW WHATS? 464 00:16:31,919 --> 00:16:35,418 THIS IS BULLSHIT [ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ] 465 00:16:35,502 --> 00:16:36,752 FOLLOW HIM. 466 00:16:36,835 --> 00:16:38,710 AND IF HE FAILS TO FULFILL HIS END OF THE CONTRACT, HURT ONE OF 467 00:16:38,794 --> 00:16:39,752 HIS LOVED ONES. 468 00:16:39,835 --> 00:16:42,126 AND HURT HIS LOVED ONE WHERE IT HURTS. 469 00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:43,043 SIR? 470 00:16:43,126 --> 00:16:44,543 HURT HIM IN HIS DICK. 471 00:16:44,627 --> 00:16:46,377 AND HIS BALLS. 472 00:16:46,460 --> 00:16:48,293 WHICH ONE? 473 00:16:48,377 --> 00:16:49,710 THE GUY. 474 00:16:49,794 --> 00:16:52,335 Murderface: HELLO, UH, MRS. JOHNSON? 475 00:16:52,418 --> 00:16:56,002 YES, THIS IS WILLIAM MURDERFACE FROM DETHKLOK, THE BASS PLAYER. 476 00:16:56,085 --> 00:17:01,335 I'M OFFERING A ONE-TIME, UH, DEAL HERE ONLY WHERE I, UH, COME 477 00:17:01,418 --> 00:17:03,126 OVER AND FUCK YOU. 478 00:17:03,210 --> 00:17:04,543 UH, INTERESTED? 479 00:17:04,627 --> 00:17:06,794 YEAH, I'D FUCK YOU. 480 00:17:06,877 --> 00:17:07,752 YEAH. 481 00:17:07,835 --> 00:17:09,502 NO, IT'S NO JOKE. 482 00:17:09,585 --> 00:17:11,752 I'M NOT SCREWING AROUND. 483 00:17:11,835 --> 00:17:14,293 OKAY, WELL, THEN, COULD I PURCHASE A PAIR OF YOUR 484 00:17:14,377 --> 00:17:14,961 UNDERWEAR? Toki: WILLIAMS? 485 00:17:16,043 --> 00:17:17,543 Murderface: WELL FUCK YOU, LADY! 486 00:17:17,627 --> 00:17:18,585 THANKS A LOT, TOKI. 487 00:17:18,669 --> 00:17:20,126 I WAS JUST ABOUT TO GET LAID! 488 00:17:20,210 --> 00:17:20,961 Toki: I'M SORRYS. 489 00:17:21,043 --> 00:17:22,168 Murderface: AH, IT'S FINE. 490 00:17:22,252 --> 00:17:23,752 I JUST, UH... 491 00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:27,669 TIME IS ALMOST UP WITH THIS BET, AND I HAVEN'T REALLY UH... 492 00:17:27,752 --> 00:17:32,252 I GOT TO HAVE SEX WITH AT LEAST ONE GIRL BEFORE IT'S OVER. 493 00:17:32,335 --> 00:17:34,543 Toki: CAN I CONFIDES IN YOUS ABOUTS SOMETHINGS PERSONALS? 494 00:17:34,627 --> 00:17:35,293 Murderface: COME ON! 495 00:17:35,377 --> 00:17:36,710 YOU CAN TRUST ME. 496 00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:38,877 Toki: THIS GIRLS, I DON'T THINKS IT AMS WORKINGS OUTS, AND 497 00:17:38,961 --> 00:17:40,752 I DON'Ts KNOWS WHATS TO DOES ABOUT IT! 498 00:17:40,835 --> 00:17:42,126 Murderface: HAVE YOU BONED HER? 499 00:17:42,210 --> 00:17:43,877 Toki: NO, BUT THAT'S THE THINGS -- SHE REALLY WANTS TO. 500 00:17:43,961 --> 00:17:45,002 Murderface: SO?! 501 00:17:45,085 --> 00:17:47,293 WHAT THE FUCK I'M SITTING HERE HAVING THE DRY 502 00:17:47,377 --> 00:17:50,293 SPELL OF MY LIFE AND THE STAKES ARE HIGH, AND YOU'RE ALL, "THIS 503 00:17:50,377 --> 00:17:53,919 GIRL WANTS TO FUCK ME, AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!" 504 00:17:54,002 --> 00:17:56,168 I SHOULD PUNCH YOU IN THE -- GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY 505 00:17:56,252 --> 00:17:56,961 OFFICE! 506 00:17:57,043 --> 00:17:58,961 [ DOOR CLOSES ] OOH, OH! 507 00:17:59,043 --> 00:18:01,168 DOES SHE HAVE A SISTER?! 508 00:18:01,252 --> 00:18:02,919 Nathan: SO THIS GIRL WANTS TO GET IT ON WITH YOU? 509 00:18:03,002 --> 00:18:03,961 Toki: YEAH, ONs THE 15th. 510 00:18:04,043 --> 00:18:05,669 Nathan: WHY IS THAT IMPORTANT? 511 00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:08,710 Toki: THAT'S WHEN SHE SAYS SHE AMS OVULATING AND THATS THE 512 00:18:08,794 --> 00:18:11,335 CHANCES ARE HIGHS FOR WHATS TO BE PREGNANTS. 513 00:18:11,418 --> 00:18:13,794 Pickles: SO SHE WANTS TO HAVE PLANNED SEX WITH YOU? 514 00:18:13,877 --> 00:18:16,126 Nathan: SEX DESIGNED TO PROCREATE? 515 00:18:16,210 --> 00:18:16,835 UGH! 516 00:18:16,919 --> 00:18:18,085 FUCKING GROSS. 517 00:18:18,168 --> 00:18:20,043 Pickles: YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHEN TO HAVE A BONER! 518 00:18:20,126 --> 00:18:21,418 THAT'S MY BUSINESS! 519 00:18:21,502 --> 00:18:23,043 Toki: AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? 520 00:18:23,126 --> 00:18:25,335 THIS IS WHATS SHE LOOKS LIKE. 521 00:18:25,418 --> 00:18:26,585 Nathan: OH, BOY. 522 00:18:26,669 --> 00:18:29,210 Toki: SHE LOOKS LIKE A GORILLA WHATS BEEN SHAVED. 523 00:18:29,293 --> 00:18:31,043 Pickles: YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE IN THE HOT SEAT. 524 00:18:31,126 --> 00:18:32,043 LOOK, YOU WANT SOME ADVICE? 525 00:18:32,126 --> 00:18:33,293 I GOT SOME FOR YOU, ALL RIGHT? 526 00:18:33,377 --> 00:18:37,168 WHEN THE 15th COMES, YOU JUST GOT TO LISTEN, RIGHT? 527 00:18:37,252 --> 00:18:38,418 Toki: LISTENS? 528 00:18:38,502 --> 00:18:40,377 Pickles: YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO YOUR DICK, TOKI. 529 00:18:40,460 --> 00:18:44,377 YOUR DICK WILL TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED TO DO, RIGHT? 530 00:18:44,460 --> 00:18:45,543 LISTEN TO YOUR DICK. 531 00:18:45,627 --> 00:18:47,710 Nathan: YEAH, LISTEN TO YOUR DICK. 532 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,710 Toki: LISTENS TO MY DICK! 533 00:18:49,794 --> 00:18:52,710 Nathan: AND, ALSO, DON'T EVER GET INTO A ROOM THAT YOU CAN'T 534 00:18:52,794 --> 00:18:54,002 GET OUT OF. 535 00:18:54,085 --> 00:18:56,002 [ HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYS ] [ OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS ] 536 00:19:36,293 --> 00:19:37,752 HI. 537 00:19:37,835 --> 00:19:39,210 Toki: HI. 538 00:19:39,293 --> 00:19:41,210 I WENT AHEAD AND PURCHASED SOME NON-ANIMAL LUBRICANT IN 539 00:19:41,293 --> 00:19:43,335 CASE MY VAGINA REFUSES TO SELF-LUBRICATE. 540 00:19:43,418 --> 00:19:43,877 Toki: OH. 541 00:19:43,961 --> 00:19:45,210 GOOD THINKINGS. 542 00:19:45,293 --> 00:19:47,252 IN THE BATHROOM, YOU'LL FIND SOME MEDICAL PENIS SOAP. 543 00:19:47,335 --> 00:19:49,210 I'D APPRECIATE IF YOU SCRUBBED DOWN YOUR PENIS. 544 00:19:49,293 --> 00:19:50,835 TWICE. 545 00:19:50,919 --> 00:19:52,335 Toki: OH. 546 00:19:52,418 --> 00:19:53,377 Murderface: WHAT? 547 00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:54,460 YOU WILL? 548 00:19:54,543 --> 00:19:55,669 WITH ME? 549 00:19:55,752 --> 00:19:57,752 YEAH, I KNOW THAT HOTEL! 550 00:19:57,835 --> 00:19:59,835 YOU'LL LET ME VIDEOTAPE IT?! 551 00:19:59,919 --> 00:20:01,335 FUCK YEAH, MAN! 552 00:20:01,418 --> 00:20:02,335 SEE YOU THEN! 553 00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:03,669 Murderface: OH FUCK YES! 554 00:20:03,752 --> 00:20:04,919 I'M GONNA GET LAID! 555 00:20:05,002 --> 00:20:07,126 OH, THANK YOU, CRAIGSLIST! 556 00:20:07,210 --> 00:20:08,919 MWAH! MWAH! 557 00:20:09,002 --> 00:20:14,168 [ LAUGHS EVILLY ] Toki: UGH, STUPID 558 00:20:14,252 --> 00:20:16,585 MEDICINES-SMELLINGS PENIS SOAPS. 559 00:20:16,669 --> 00:20:17,835 IT'S GROSS. 560 00:20:17,919 --> 00:20:20,752 TOKI. 561 00:20:20,835 --> 00:20:22,168 Toki: WHO AMS THIS? 562 00:20:22,252 --> 00:20:23,168 IT'S ME. 563 00:20:23,252 --> 00:20:24,335 YOUR DICK. 564 00:20:24,418 --> 00:20:26,252 Toki: [ GASPS ] PICKLE TOLD ME TO LISTENS TO 565 00:20:26,335 --> 00:20:27,126 YOU! 566 00:20:27,210 --> 00:20:29,043 TOKI, YOU MUST LISTEN TO ME. 567 00:20:29,126 --> 00:20:32,252 WE CAN'T HAVE SEX WITH THAT WOMAN IN THE OTHER ROOM. 568 00:20:32,335 --> 00:20:34,502 Toki: BUTS WE HAS TO OR WE'LL GETS IN TROUBLE. 569 00:20:34,585 --> 00:20:36,293 THEN YOU MAY AS WELL CHOP ME OFF! 570 00:20:36,377 --> 00:20:38,210 I'M TALKING ABOUT SAVING YOUR LIFE. 571 00:20:38,293 --> 00:20:42,335 IF YOU HAVE SEX WITH THAT WOMAN, YOU'LL BE MISERABLE FOREVER. 572 00:20:42,418 --> 00:20:44,835 [ Echoing ] EVER. 573 00:20:44,919 --> 00:20:45,752 TOKI? 574 00:20:45,835 --> 00:20:46,877 WHY AREN'T YOU UNDRESSED? 575 00:20:46,961 --> 00:20:48,293 Toki: I'M GETTINGS OUT OF HERES! 576 00:20:48,377 --> 00:20:52,126 I'M LISTENINGS TO MY DICKS THIS TIMES, AND IT SAYS, "DON'Ts GETS" 577 00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:53,961 NEAR YOU!" YOU GET OVER HERE AND ENGAGE 578 00:20:54,043 --> 00:20:54,877 IN INTERCOURSE WITH ME! 579 00:20:54,961 --> 00:20:56,085 IT'S THE 15th! 580 00:20:56,168 --> 00:20:58,293 Toki: I DON'Ts CARE WHATS NUMBERS IT IS! 581 00:20:58,377 --> 00:21:00,043 I'M NOTS GONNA DOs IT! 582 00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:01,543 I DON'T THINK SO. 583 00:21:01,627 --> 00:21:08,460 Nathan: DON'T EVER GET INTO A ROOM YOU CAN'T GET OUT OF. 584 00:21:08,543 --> 00:21:11,293 Toki: AAH! 585 00:21:11,377 --> 00:21:14,085 HE DIDN'T FULFILL HIS END OF THE DEAL. 586 00:21:14,168 --> 00:21:15,293 Murderface: AHH. 587 00:21:15,377 --> 00:21:17,919 ♪ DOO, DOO DOO, DOO THAT'S RIGHT, CLASSIC DATE. 588 00:21:18,002 --> 00:21:19,377 KNOCK ON THE OL' DOOR... 589 00:21:19,460 --> 00:21:20,543 PULL OUT YOUR DICK! 590 00:21:20,627 --> 00:21:22,794 Murderface: HELLO -- AAH! 591 00:21:22,877 --> 00:21:27,377 [ HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYS ] Skwisgaar: WHOA. 592 00:21:27,460 --> 00:21:28,627 I CAN'Ts BELIEVES I WONS. 593 00:21:28,710 --> 00:21:31,710 I ONLYS HAD SEX WITH ABOUT 400 GIRLS IN LIKES TWO WEEKS. 594 00:21:31,794 --> 00:21:33,210 AND I WASN'T EVEN TRYINGS. 595 00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:34,961 Nathan: YEAH, BUT WE NEVER GOT THOSE FINAL NUMBERS BACK 596 00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:36,377 FROM MURDERFACE. 597 00:21:36,460 --> 00:21:38,752 Pickles: HEY, MURDERFACE, HOW MANY GIRLS YOU SLEEP WITH? 598 00:21:38,835 --> 00:21:39,919 Murderface: NONE. 599 00:21:40,002 --> 00:21:41,043 Pickles: WHAT'S THAT? 600 00:21:41,126 --> 00:21:42,919 Murderface: I SAID FUCKING NONE! 601 00:21:43,002 --> 00:21:47,002 I WOULD'VE WON IF MY DICK WEREN'T BROKEN AND SPLAYED. 602 00:21:47,085 --> 00:21:48,877 NOT A LEVEL PLAYING FIELD. 603 00:21:48,961 --> 00:21:49,835 Nathan: WELL, THERE YOU GO. 604 00:21:49,919 --> 00:21:51,126 Skwisgaar: ANYBODY SEENS TOKIS? 605 00:21:51,210 --> 00:21:54,210 Nathan: I THINK HE'S FINALLY CELEBRATING HIS BIRTHDAY. 606 00:21:54,293 --> 00:21:56,210 Toki: THIS AMS A GREATS DATES, LADIES. 607 00:21:56,293 --> 00:21:58,752 AND NOWS I AMS PULLS OUT MY DICK.