1 00:00:00,792 --> 00:00:02,125 I think I want to find him. 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:03,917 Your son? 3 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,750 ♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 4 00:00:06,333 --> 00:00:08,583 His grandfather convinced me to give him up 5 00:00:08,667 --> 00:00:10,917 so that we could stay in polite society. 6 00:00:11,166 --> 00:00:12,917 It's kind of convenient to blame a dead man 7 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:13,875 for all of this. 8 00:00:14,166 --> 00:00:16,500 I know I made a mistake too. The difference is, 9 00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:17,917 I was a kid. 10 00:00:21,208 --> 00:00:22,625 Why would my father keep this? 11 00:00:22,709 --> 00:00:24,166 Maybe he cared more than you think. 12 00:00:24,250 --> 00:00:28,083 This is pain. This is not getting to hold him. 13 00:00:28,542 --> 00:00:30,583 -RITA: Brooke? -There's no match, Rita. 14 00:00:31,125 --> 00:00:32,625 (SOBS) He doesn't want to know me. 15 00:00:33,417 --> 00:00:34,625 RITA: Are you okay? 16 00:00:47,875 --> 00:00:49,583 (phone ringing, vibrating) 17 00:00:49,667 --> 00:00:52,792 (birds chirping) 18 00:00:54,125 --> 00:00:56,291 -(bang) -Oh shit. (groans) 19 00:00:56,375 --> 00:00:58,083 (phone ringing, vibrating) 20 00:01:02,875 --> 00:01:04,709 (birds cooing) 21 00:01:04,792 --> 00:01:06,375 (phone ringing, vibrating) 22 00:01:06,458 --> 00:01:07,625 (sighs) 23 00:01:09,834 --> 00:01:11,917 ♪ ♪ 24 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,792 -(sighs) -(drops phone) 25 00:01:15,250 --> 00:01:18,333 (rummaging, banging) 26 00:01:19,583 --> 00:01:21,750 (rattling, shaking, crunching) 27 00:01:21,834 --> 00:01:24,417 -(sighs) -(rummaging) 28 00:01:24,500 --> 00:01:26,208 -(glass breaking) -Oh shit! 29 00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:31,667 (exhales) 30 00:01:34,750 --> 00:01:35,959 (knocking) 31 00:01:39,792 --> 00:01:41,083 (sighs) 32 00:01:41,166 --> 00:01:43,417 Hi! Is everything okay? 33 00:01:43,500 --> 00:01:45,291 -Where are they? -Where are what? 34 00:01:45,375 --> 00:01:47,917 Your bottles. Don't make me start opening cabinets. 35 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,291 I don't know what bottles you're talking about. 36 00:01:51,291 --> 00:01:52,709 Okay, suit yourself. 37 00:01:52,792 --> 00:01:54,166 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 38 00:01:54,250 --> 00:01:55,875 You were drunk off your ass last night. 39 00:01:55,959 --> 00:01:57,792 I could hear it in your voice when you called me. 40 00:01:57,875 --> 00:01:59,750 I didn't call you. What are you talking about? 41 00:02:11,458 --> 00:02:13,875 "There's no match. 42 00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:16,041 "He doesn't wanna know me. 43 00:02:16,125 --> 00:02:20,875 It was like a big neon fuck-you from my DNA." 44 00:02:22,875 --> 00:02:25,041 Any of that ring a bell? 45 00:02:27,375 --> 00:02:29,542 I didn't just hear the booze. 46 00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:32,542 I heard your pain. 47 00:02:36,542 --> 00:02:38,709 (light piano playing) 48 00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:40,917 ♪ 49 00:02:59,750 --> 00:03:01,250 I... 50 00:03:01,959 --> 00:03:04,917 had a hard night. 51 00:03:06,667 --> 00:03:08,208 (clears throat) 52 00:03:08,291 --> 00:03:10,417 I got some bad news. 53 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,208 Yeah. 54 00:03:13,291 --> 00:03:15,792 And you really want me to believe 55 00:03:15,875 --> 00:03:18,041 this is the first time you handled it this way? 56 00:03:18,125 --> 00:03:20,417 Rita, can we just sit down and talk 57 00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:22,417 without all of the drama? 58 00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:24,792 No. No, we can't. We've done enough of that. 59 00:03:24,875 --> 00:03:26,417 Where are the bottles? 60 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,166 There's one under the oven. 61 00:03:38,291 --> 00:03:40,166 -(opens cabinet) -(grabs bottle) 62 00:03:42,834 --> 00:03:45,667 This is the cheap stuff. I know this ain't all. 63 00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:47,625 (scoffs) 64 00:03:47,709 --> 00:03:49,834 This is silly. 65 00:03:56,333 --> 00:03:58,458 (sighs) 66 00:04:00,542 --> 00:04:02,250 -(Brooke sighs) -(cabinet opens, bottles clink) 67 00:04:02,333 --> 00:04:04,834 This is the good stuff. 68 00:04:06,166 --> 00:04:07,500 Happy now? 69 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,667 Now, get me the empties. 70 00:04:12,792 --> 00:04:14,000 (scoffs) 71 00:04:23,041 --> 00:04:25,375 (bottles rattling) 72 00:04:27,208 --> 00:04:28,667 Now, line 'em up. 73 00:04:31,166 --> 00:04:32,750 You line 'em up. 74 00:04:32,834 --> 00:04:35,917 I'm sick of being chastised like a child. 75 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,625 You're not a child, and I am not your parent. 76 00:04:38,709 --> 00:04:41,917 But it's my job to show you your choices. 77 00:04:47,375 --> 00:04:48,542 Fine. 78 00:04:49,375 --> 00:04:50,583 (rattling) 79 00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:55,166 (bottles clinking) 80 00:05:01,625 --> 00:05:03,709 (thudding) 81 00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:09,583 (thud) 82 00:05:16,875 --> 00:05:17,959 Five. 83 00:05:18,041 --> 00:05:20,125 -In a week? -Five is nothing. 84 00:05:20,208 --> 00:05:22,291 You remember how wild it can get, don't you? 85 00:05:22,375 --> 00:05:25,000 -You don't have to get defensive. -I'm not defensive. 86 00:05:25,083 --> 00:05:29,041 I am not trying to make you feel bad, I swear to God. 87 00:05:29,125 --> 00:05:32,417 I don't do you any favors by sugarcoating any of this. 88 00:05:35,041 --> 00:05:38,250 Answer me this. Why did you have to lie? 89 00:05:39,834 --> 00:05:42,500 Addicts lie. 90 00:05:42,583 --> 00:05:44,333 I know I don't have to teach you about that. 91 00:05:44,417 --> 00:05:46,959 Yeah, but why did you have to lie to me? 92 00:05:47,041 --> 00:05:50,125 Haven't we been through enough? Do you not trust me? 93 00:05:50,208 --> 00:05:52,166 Because of that face. 94 00:05:52,250 --> 00:05:53,667 That disappointed look. 95 00:05:53,750 --> 00:05:56,625 I'm worried, not disappointed. 96 00:05:58,291 --> 00:06:00,834 But if you want me to say I'm disappointed so you can feel 97 00:06:00,917 --> 00:06:03,166 more comfortable feeling sorry for yourself, 98 00:06:03,250 --> 00:06:04,500 that's not gonna happen. 99 00:06:04,583 --> 00:06:07,166 Nothing about this is comfortable for me. 100 00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:09,542 I have a splitting fucking headache, 101 00:06:09,625 --> 00:06:11,458 and you're not helping. 102 00:06:12,458 --> 00:06:14,667 -(opens bottle) -So, 103 00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:16,250 when did it start? 104 00:06:16,333 --> 00:06:17,792 Again? 105 00:06:19,375 --> 00:06:21,041 -Around when my father died. -Hm-mm. 106 00:06:21,125 --> 00:06:24,709 -And did Adam have anything to do with this? -Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mmm. 107 00:06:24,792 --> 00:06:28,041 Don't blame him. I'm a grown-ass woman. 108 00:06:28,125 --> 00:06:31,333 Why couldn't you call me when you had your head on straight? 109 00:06:31,417 --> 00:06:34,458 My head hasn't been on straight for a while now. 110 00:06:34,542 --> 00:06:35,709 Besides, I knew 111 00:06:35,792 --> 00:06:38,083 whatever you were gonna say wouldn't change my mind. 112 00:06:38,166 --> 00:06:39,792 I've talked you down before. 113 00:06:39,875 --> 00:06:41,834 Yeah, well, this isn't before. 114 00:06:41,917 --> 00:06:43,834 How are you treating patients like this? 115 00:06:43,917 --> 00:06:45,792 I would never compromise my work. 116 00:06:45,875 --> 00:06:48,333 No, I'm not saying that. It's just if it were me-- 117 00:06:48,417 --> 00:06:50,792 I know how to hold my patients' pain. 118 00:06:50,875 --> 00:06:52,667 I show up for them. 119 00:06:52,750 --> 00:06:55,375 They come in here, into this house, 120 00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:57,333 carrying their fear and despair 121 00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:00,583 and anxiety because they have nowhere else to turn. 122 00:07:00,667 --> 00:07:02,667 I am here for them. 123 00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:06,959 And who holds your pain? 124 00:07:07,041 --> 00:07:08,583 Where do you leave your despair? 125 00:07:08,667 --> 00:07:10,500 At the bottom of one of these bottles? 126 00:07:10,583 --> 00:07:12,083 I just wanna forget it all sometimes! 127 00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:14,667 It's not that complicated to understand. 128 00:07:14,750 --> 00:07:18,500 Sometimes, I want to silence that voice 129 00:07:18,583 --> 00:07:21,166 that makes me feel small. 130 00:07:21,250 --> 00:07:23,000 You know, could I do 131 00:07:23,083 --> 00:07:27,750 some positive self-talk, some CBT, some meditation? Sure. 132 00:07:27,834 --> 00:07:30,083 But sometimes, an Old Fashioned... 133 00:07:30,709 --> 00:07:32,333 or four, 134 00:07:32,417 --> 00:07:34,583 just gets me there a little bit faster. 135 00:07:36,375 --> 00:07:39,834 So, when did you decide you wanted this? 136 00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:41,208 -(scoffs) -To drink again? 137 00:07:41,291 --> 00:07:43,792 I told you when it started. 138 00:07:43,875 --> 00:07:47,000 But what was the moment you decided? 139 00:07:47,083 --> 00:07:49,291 There's the moment you do it, 140 00:07:49,375 --> 00:07:50,667 but before that, 141 00:07:50,750 --> 00:07:53,375 there's the moment you decide to do it. 142 00:07:53,458 --> 00:07:54,792 And you feel great 143 00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:57,458 because it's not hanging over you anymore. 144 00:07:57,542 --> 00:08:01,166 No more "ifs." You have a plan. 145 00:08:01,250 --> 00:08:03,875 So when did you make yours? 146 00:08:07,875 --> 00:08:09,875 After my father's funeral. 147 00:08:13,250 --> 00:08:15,417 (sighs) 148 00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:19,083 We had my father's friends back to his house and they... 149 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,583 (sighs) made all this food and... 150 00:08:23,834 --> 00:08:26,917 were telling all these stories, stories I didn't know. 151 00:08:27,917 --> 00:08:29,000 I didn't know 152 00:08:29,083 --> 00:08:32,333 that my father liked British baking shows. 153 00:08:32,417 --> 00:08:34,041 (laughs) 154 00:08:35,125 --> 00:08:38,333 I came back to this house, and it was empty. 155 00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:41,291 So quiet you could hear a hummingbird in Van Nuys, 156 00:08:41,375 --> 00:08:43,291 and I just... 157 00:08:43,375 --> 00:08:44,792 I lost it. 158 00:08:47,083 --> 00:08:48,834 Cried myself to sleep on the couch, 159 00:08:48,917 --> 00:08:50,625 didn't even take off my shoes. 160 00:08:52,333 --> 00:08:54,041 When I woke up, it was the middle of the night. 161 00:08:54,125 --> 00:08:55,625 I just thought... 162 00:08:57,041 --> 00:08:58,375 fuck it. 163 00:08:58,458 --> 00:09:01,250 There'll be consequences, but not tomorrow. 164 00:09:03,208 --> 00:09:05,333 I went back to sleep, 165 00:09:05,417 --> 00:09:09,083 and I dreamt about what my first drink would be. 166 00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:14,041 I knew somethin' was up with you. 167 00:09:14,125 --> 00:09:16,375 From the moment I walked in here two weeks ago. 168 00:09:16,458 --> 00:09:18,709 Then why didn't you say something right then? 169 00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:21,375 Oh, I know where you're going with that. 170 00:09:21,458 --> 00:09:24,458 You are not gonna blame me for your slips, 171 00:09:24,542 --> 00:09:28,250 your relapses. That manipulative guilt shit? 172 00:09:28,333 --> 00:09:29,834 Don't work on me. 173 00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:31,750 I invented that shit! 174 00:09:31,834 --> 00:09:34,291 But you could've been here for me though. 175 00:09:35,333 --> 00:09:37,083 Could've supported me 176 00:09:37,166 --> 00:09:38,750 -when things were bad. -No. 177 00:09:38,834 --> 00:09:41,417 Wait, are you really saying... 178 00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:43,333 that I'm not here for you? 179 00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:44,750 That I don't support you? 180 00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:47,041 I know you're here for me, but... 181 00:09:49,375 --> 00:09:50,959 You've been gone. 182 00:09:51,041 --> 00:09:53,834 And I know you have your own shit going on. I-- 183 00:09:54,834 --> 00:09:56,166 I didn't wanna be a burden to you. 184 00:09:56,250 --> 00:09:57,792 You're not a burden to me. 185 00:09:57,875 --> 00:09:58,834 (scoffs) 186 00:09:58,917 --> 00:10:02,000 No, I'm serious. Never. 187 00:10:02,083 --> 00:10:03,834 I don't do things I don't wanna do. 188 00:10:03,917 --> 00:10:06,250 If I'm here, it's because I wanna be here. 189 00:10:06,333 --> 00:10:08,667 Well then, I'm out of excuses. 190 00:10:09,750 --> 00:10:10,667 (sighs) 191 00:10:11,417 --> 00:10:12,333 (sighs) 192 00:10:13,166 --> 00:10:14,667 So then... 193 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:20,291 what do you wanna do about all this? 194 00:10:20,375 --> 00:10:23,041 Honestly, I wanna go back to bed. 195 00:10:23,125 --> 00:10:25,041 -You can sleep later. -(sighs) 196 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:29,250 Do you want to stop drinking? 197 00:10:29,333 --> 00:10:32,500 I don't know what I need right now. 198 00:10:32,583 --> 00:10:34,291 I didn't ask you if you need to. 199 00:10:34,375 --> 00:10:36,834 I can see you need to. 200 00:10:36,917 --> 00:10:39,750 But this ain't gonna work unless you want to. 201 00:10:48,291 --> 00:10:50,041 Yes. 202 00:10:50,875 --> 00:10:53,125 Okay. 203 00:10:53,208 --> 00:10:55,709 -Get your shoes on. -Wh-- For what? 204 00:10:55,792 --> 00:10:58,166 -We're finding a meeting. -Where? 205 00:10:58,250 --> 00:11:01,917 I'll figure it out. I can call Shannon. I could even call Elise. 206 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,125 Okay, but I, um... 207 00:11:04,208 --> 00:11:06,000 -But what? -I'm-I'm-I'm-- 208 00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:09,166 -I'm not dressed to go out. -So we don't have to go out. 209 00:11:09,250 --> 00:11:12,500 I could call enough people so we could have a meeting right here. 210 00:11:12,583 --> 00:11:14,041 How about this? 211 00:11:15,667 --> 00:11:18,834 There is a 6:00 meeting tonight. 212 00:11:18,917 --> 00:11:22,000 -I will go to that. -Sure you will. 213 00:11:22,083 --> 00:11:23,333 Who you think you're talkin' to? 214 00:11:23,417 --> 00:11:26,709 -I know all the tricks. -I will go to the meeting. 215 00:11:26,792 --> 00:11:28,792 -I just can't go right now. -Why not? 216 00:11:28,875 --> 00:11:32,667 Because I have patient notes to do for tomorrow! 217 00:11:32,750 --> 00:11:34,000 Oh. Today's Saturday. 218 00:11:34,083 --> 00:11:36,875 -You got patients on Sunday? -I meant Monday. 219 00:11:39,458 --> 00:11:41,000 (drops phone) 220 00:11:41,458 --> 00:11:43,000 Okay. 221 00:11:43,083 --> 00:11:45,250 6:00 meeting it is. 222 00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,792 -(sighs) -(slaps legs) 223 00:11:57,542 --> 00:12:00,125 -(sighs) -(glass clinking) 224 00:12:01,083 --> 00:12:02,750 (bottles clinking) 225 00:12:04,792 --> 00:12:06,792 -Thank you. -(clinking) 226 00:12:07,875 --> 00:12:10,375 But I'm going with you. 227 00:12:10,458 --> 00:12:13,709 So you go and do your notes or whatever. 228 00:12:13,792 --> 00:12:16,542 -I'll wait in the den till then. -You... 229 00:12:16,625 --> 00:12:18,834 -You're gonna sit in my den all day? -Hm-mm. 230 00:12:18,917 --> 00:12:21,417 -(scoffs) That's not necessary. -(bottles clink) 231 00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:23,750 Hm. Oh, I don't think 232 00:12:23,834 --> 00:12:27,083 -you understand what's about to happen. -(bottles rattle) 233 00:12:27,166 --> 00:12:30,125 I only work eight hours a day, 234 00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:31,583 five days a week. 235 00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:35,667 The rest of the time, I'm free to be all up in your face. 236 00:12:35,750 --> 00:12:38,750 I will call your phone until it explodes. 237 00:12:38,834 --> 00:12:42,458 I will stalk your life. I'll sit outside your house. 238 00:12:42,542 --> 00:12:44,208 Hell, I might even move in here. 239 00:12:44,291 --> 00:12:47,125 -This is a nice-ass house. -You don't need to do all that. 240 00:12:47,959 --> 00:12:50,750 Then fight for yourself. 241 00:12:50,834 --> 00:12:53,959 You're a grown-ass woman, right? That's what grown-ass women do. 242 00:12:57,083 --> 00:12:58,500 Alright. 243 00:12:59,333 --> 00:13:01,166 (sighs) Call Shannon. 244 00:13:02,333 --> 00:13:03,917 Good girl. 245 00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:14,083 Wait, Rita? 246 00:13:14,166 --> 00:13:15,583 -What? -Rita. 247 00:13:18,792 --> 00:13:21,166 -Don't call her. Not yet. -Why not? 248 00:13:22,458 --> 00:13:24,125 Shit. Brooke, no. 249 00:13:24,208 --> 00:13:26,625 -(sighs) -Give me-- Just give me a second to think! 250 00:13:26,709 --> 00:13:29,917 This is not something to think about. 251 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,208 The work is hard, but the decision to do it 252 00:13:32,291 --> 00:13:34,458 -is easy. -Maybe for you it is. 253 00:13:34,542 --> 00:13:36,917 You just told me a minute ago you wanted to stop. 254 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:39,250 I don't know! Maybe I said that because... 255 00:13:39,333 --> 00:13:41,709 I don't know. I didn't want you to walk out on me. 256 00:13:41,792 --> 00:13:44,834 I just have a lot of thoughts swirling around right now-- 257 00:13:44,917 --> 00:13:47,542 Brooke! I love you. 258 00:13:47,625 --> 00:13:50,000 But you trying to outrun these thoughts is how we got here. 259 00:13:50,083 --> 00:13:51,750 I love you, too. 260 00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:56,875 I'm just not cut out for this right now! 261 00:13:56,959 --> 00:13:59,166 I know you are. 262 00:13:59,250 --> 00:14:01,583 -Just lean on me. Good! -You're pushing me! 263 00:14:01,667 --> 00:14:04,083 -Somebody has to push you! -I just know what that meeting 264 00:14:04,166 --> 00:14:07,542 is gonna be like, and I don't want to... (sighs) go! 265 00:14:07,625 --> 00:14:09,667 I don't wanna start over and 266 00:14:09,750 --> 00:14:12,792 take inventory and make amends. 267 00:14:12,875 --> 00:14:14,583 But that's the work. 268 00:14:16,041 --> 00:14:19,041 Well, maybe I don't wanna do the work anymore. 269 00:14:21,834 --> 00:14:23,208 So... 270 00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:25,959 what, you're just... 271 00:14:26,834 --> 00:14:28,291 done? 272 00:14:29,500 --> 00:14:30,959 With the program? 273 00:14:31,041 --> 00:14:33,959 -With your recovery? On all of it? -And what if I am done? 274 00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:37,125 What are you gonna do? Are you gonna walk out? Abandon me? 275 00:14:37,208 --> 00:14:38,667 -Don't go there. -Well, I mean, 276 00:14:38,750 --> 00:14:40,959 if you're gonna have all these conditions 277 00:14:41,041 --> 00:14:43,417 around our friendship, go ahead. 278 00:14:44,041 --> 00:14:45,709 Conditions? 279 00:14:45,792 --> 00:14:47,208 Try boundaries. You're the one 280 00:14:47,291 --> 00:14:48,875 always preaching about boundaries. 281 00:14:48,959 --> 00:14:51,834 Honestly, boundaries are getting a little bit tedious for me, too. 282 00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:57,083 So, what, it's back to Good Time Brooke? 283 00:14:57,166 --> 00:14:59,291 -Silk City Brooke? -I don't know. 284 00:14:59,375 --> 00:15:03,500 There's a reason we remind ourselves how we used to be. 285 00:15:03,583 --> 00:15:06,625 Not just the good times. What came after. 286 00:15:07,542 --> 00:15:09,583 The car crashes, 287 00:15:09,667 --> 00:15:12,250 waking up in strangers' apartments, 288 00:15:12,333 --> 00:15:13,625 -swimming in a fog. -(sighs) 289 00:15:13,709 --> 00:15:16,041 You really wanna invite all of that back into your life? 290 00:15:16,125 --> 00:15:17,458 It's different this time. 291 00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:19,875 It's never different. 292 00:15:19,959 --> 00:15:22,000 You know better than to say that. 293 00:15:23,625 --> 00:15:25,083 (sighs) 294 00:15:25,166 --> 00:15:26,542 Why invite me over here every week 295 00:15:26,625 --> 00:15:28,750 when you knew you were drinking the whole time? 296 00:15:28,834 --> 00:15:31,542 -I didn't wanna admit-- -Why even pretend 297 00:15:31,625 --> 00:15:33,166 you wanted a sponsor at all? 298 00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:35,917 -What am I even doing here? -Please! 299 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,542 Rita, I just... 300 00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:42,625 I wanted to have my friend. 301 00:15:44,583 --> 00:15:46,000 Not... 302 00:15:46,083 --> 00:15:47,667 (quietly exclaims) 303 00:15:48,875 --> 00:15:50,041 Okay. 304 00:15:52,208 --> 00:15:53,667 Okay. 305 00:15:56,709 --> 00:16:00,083 I know what I'm supposed to do if my sponsee has a relapse. 306 00:16:02,333 --> 00:16:04,291 I'm supposed to ask clarifying questions 307 00:16:04,375 --> 00:16:06,750 about their desire for sobriety. 308 00:16:06,834 --> 00:16:10,125 I'm supposed to offer a meeting, with love. 309 00:16:10,208 --> 00:16:12,500 I'm supposed to remind them of the steps 310 00:16:12,583 --> 00:16:14,500 and offer guidance 311 00:16:14,583 --> 00:16:18,125 to help them rework it. And if they reject that help, 312 00:16:18,208 --> 00:16:20,166 I'm supposed to detach. 313 00:16:23,458 --> 00:16:25,750 But when I... 314 00:16:25,834 --> 00:16:28,750 walked in here today and saw you, 315 00:16:28,834 --> 00:16:31,083 I didn't give a fuck about any of that. 316 00:16:32,333 --> 00:16:35,208 All I saw was my friend, hurting. 317 00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:39,875 But I am pissed at you. 318 00:16:39,959 --> 00:16:42,375 And I am pissed at myself. 319 00:16:42,458 --> 00:16:45,625 -Why? -Because I am not supposed to be 320 00:16:45,709 --> 00:16:50,000 this invested in you staying sober! 321 00:16:50,083 --> 00:16:53,500 I'm supposed to know better than to try and save you. 322 00:16:53,583 --> 00:16:55,375 That's what I'm saying. 323 00:16:55,458 --> 00:16:57,500 You don't have to think about that anymore. 324 00:16:57,583 --> 00:17:00,291 We can see each other without all of... 325 00:17:00,375 --> 00:17:01,709 that hanging in the air. 326 00:17:01,792 --> 00:17:03,792 You're asking me to do somethin' I don't know how to do. 327 00:17:03,875 --> 00:17:05,500 Which is what? 328 00:17:05,583 --> 00:17:08,125 -Sit back and watch you disintegrate. -(scoffs) 329 00:17:08,208 --> 00:17:11,000 Who the fuck wants a front row seat to that? 330 00:17:11,083 --> 00:17:13,208 If every bad choice is 331 00:17:13,291 --> 00:17:14,875 -the end of the world... -No! 332 00:17:14,959 --> 00:17:16,709 and you threaten to walk out if you 333 00:17:16,792 --> 00:17:18,417 -disapprove of-- -You are not about to make me 334 00:17:18,500 --> 00:17:20,709 -into your father. -But you're the same. 335 00:17:20,792 --> 00:17:24,917 You only accept me if I do what you want me to do. 336 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,500 That's the liquor talking. 337 00:17:27,583 --> 00:17:29,792 Not you. 338 00:17:29,875 --> 00:17:32,542 You know what we mean to each other. 339 00:17:32,625 --> 00:17:35,667 And it's more than just meetings and steps. 340 00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:37,917 It's dinners 341 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,083 and day trips. 342 00:17:40,166 --> 00:17:43,667 Your kids' graduations, your divorce. 343 00:17:46,291 --> 00:17:48,000 Ten years. 344 00:17:50,125 --> 00:17:52,709 I'm just asking you not to give up on our friendship 345 00:17:52,792 --> 00:17:57,083 just because I'm deciding to go another way right now. 346 00:17:57,166 --> 00:18:01,125 And who's to say that I won't go to a meeting next week? 347 00:18:02,333 --> 00:18:04,583 Yeah. Who's to say? 348 00:18:04,667 --> 00:18:07,959 (scoffs) What do you want from me? 349 00:18:08,041 --> 00:18:09,667 Do you want some guarantee? 350 00:18:09,750 --> 00:18:11,750 Some schedule of when I'll be done? 351 00:18:11,834 --> 00:18:14,375 Oh no, I know nothing is guaranteed. 352 00:18:15,834 --> 00:18:17,125 But... 353 00:18:17,208 --> 00:18:19,250 it doesn't stop us from making commitments 354 00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:21,625 to each other. People do it every day. 355 00:18:21,709 --> 00:18:23,041 And you made a commitment to me. 356 00:18:23,125 --> 00:18:26,166 You're acting as if this is something I meant to do to you. 357 00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:29,834 (sighs) 358 00:18:31,166 --> 00:18:33,417 I'm more worried for what you're doing to yourself. 359 00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:35,834 I should've told you about the drinking. 360 00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:38,875 I am sorry I lied. 361 00:18:41,333 --> 00:18:42,709 But please, 362 00:18:43,458 --> 00:18:44,917 don't give up on me, Rita. 363 00:18:54,750 --> 00:18:57,542 When I said I wasn't going anywhere, I meant it. 364 00:18:58,333 --> 00:18:59,542 We're a team. 365 00:18:59,625 --> 00:19:01,000 (exhales) 366 00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:05,500 You've gotten me through some dark shit. 367 00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:08,792 You've been a rock to me. 368 00:19:08,875 --> 00:19:11,667 I need you just as much as you need me. 369 00:19:12,291 --> 00:19:14,291 It is not your job 370 00:19:14,375 --> 00:19:16,458 to keep me sober. 371 00:19:16,542 --> 00:19:18,667 What if I'm tempted too? 372 00:19:18,750 --> 00:19:21,917 I would never make you risk that. 373 00:19:23,375 --> 00:19:26,083 I would never do that to you. 374 00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:28,750 I know that. 375 00:19:30,375 --> 00:19:32,583 I know that up here, but in here? 376 00:19:33,417 --> 00:19:34,875 It's a different story. 377 00:19:55,667 --> 00:19:57,417 So where do we go from here? 378 00:19:58,166 --> 00:19:59,750 I don't know. 379 00:20:05,333 --> 00:20:07,000 Couldn't we just... 380 00:20:07,083 --> 00:20:09,583 be here together right now? 381 00:20:11,291 --> 00:20:12,417 Hm? 382 00:20:13,291 --> 00:20:17,041 Can we just go outside and talk? 383 00:20:17,125 --> 00:20:19,625 Not as two alcoholics, 384 00:20:21,125 --> 00:20:23,500 but as Brooke and Rita? 385 00:20:26,083 --> 00:20:27,125 Hm? 386 00:20:28,375 --> 00:20:29,792 Can we start there? 387 00:20:41,542 --> 00:20:43,000 Okay. 388 00:20:45,166 --> 00:20:46,500 We could start there. 389 00:20:46,583 --> 00:20:49,667 ♪ ♪ 390 00:21:01,959 --> 00:21:05,125 (birds chirping outside) 391 00:21:19,917 --> 00:21:23,041 ♪ ♪ 392 00:21:49,291 --> 00:21:52,375 ♪ ♪ 393 00:22:11,458 --> 00:22:14,583 ♪ ♪ 394 00:22:39,417 --> 00:22:41,208 BROOKE LAWRENCE: The sinkhole that opened up when my dad died, 395 00:22:41,542 --> 00:22:43,625 I'll throw anything at it to fill it. 396 00:22:43,959 --> 00:22:46,041 ♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 397 00:22:46,458 --> 00:22:48,417 I see the pain you're in. 398 00:22:48,792 --> 00:22:50,083 I'm scared. 399 00:22:50,625 --> 00:22:51,625 RITA: Me too. 400 00:22:52,125 --> 00:22:54,625 Mostly because you're not scared enough. 401 00:22:55,542 --> 00:22:56,834 I need you, Rita. 402 00:22:57,583 --> 00:22:58,959 RITA: Then why did you do it? 403 00:22:59,583 --> 00:23:01,500 Why did you invite me over here?