1 00:00:00,917 --> 00:00:02,375 ♪ (SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 2 00:00:02,792 --> 00:00:05,917 DR. BROOKE LAWRENCE: When I was 15, I ended up pregnant. 3 00:00:06,250 --> 00:00:09,709 My dad made arrangements for an adoption. 4 00:00:10,083 --> 00:00:11,250 I think I wanna find him. 5 00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:14,709 Laila needs to understand that she was born Black. 6 00:00:14,792 --> 00:00:15,917 She was born a woman. 7 00:00:16,125 --> 00:00:19,834 The gays and lesbians are at higher risks for failure. 8 00:00:20,291 --> 00:00:23,250 Laila here is just too good for all that. 9 00:00:23,917 --> 00:00:25,709 I'm an only child of a workaholic. 10 00:00:25,917 --> 00:00:27,875 So, my daddy cares more about his dealership 11 00:00:27,959 --> 00:00:29,542 than he does about me and certainly more than 12 00:00:29,625 --> 00:00:32,625 he ever did about my mom, which is how he ran her off. 13 00:00:32,875 --> 00:00:35,333 I think you grew up in a world full of violence 14 00:00:35,417 --> 00:00:36,959 to Black women in particular. 15 00:00:37,458 --> 00:00:40,834 I think Clara helps you forget about yourself for a while. 16 00:00:40,917 --> 00:00:43,917 I mean, the world is like a fucking hate crime, right? 17 00:00:44,125 --> 00:00:47,291 You know, if you don't believe that I need to get the hell out of here, 18 00:00:47,667 --> 00:00:49,000 then one day you're gonna wake up 19 00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:50,959 and Clara and I will, we're gonna be gone. 20 00:00:54,125 --> 00:00:55,125 (DOOR SLAMS SHUT) 21 00:01:02,041 --> 00:01:05,375 Rhonda: Do you know what an application portal is, Brooke? 22 00:01:05,458 --> 00:01:07,041 Because I do. 23 00:01:07,125 --> 00:01:10,250 It's the way you confirm your enrollment to Berkeley. 24 00:01:10,333 --> 00:01:11,709 Now tell me why, 25 00:01:11,792 --> 00:01:15,041 when I never had the opportunity to go to any college, 26 00:01:15,125 --> 00:01:17,000 why do I know that? 27 00:01:18,166 --> 00:01:19,709 Laila? 28 00:01:22,041 --> 00:01:23,875 I'm a busy woman, Brooke. 29 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:27,250 And yet here I am. Internet portals. 30 00:01:27,333 --> 00:01:29,166 Setting up an externship for the summer, 31 00:01:29,250 --> 00:01:30,291 as if I have any idea 32 00:01:30,375 --> 00:01:33,750 of what on God's green Earth an externship is. 33 00:01:33,834 --> 00:01:36,792 But somehow, Miss Laila can't seem to do these things. 34 00:01:36,875 --> 00:01:40,583 Oh, she's too busy. With therapy. 35 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:42,417 Yes, she's been working very hard. 36 00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:45,250 Life skills, Brooke. That's why I brought her here. 37 00:01:45,333 --> 00:01:47,667 -Does she have them yet? -Rhonda, this is a proc-- 38 00:01:47,750 --> 00:01:49,917 Okay, that's a no. 39 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,834 So when? 40 00:01:53,500 --> 00:01:55,625 Laila? 41 00:01:55,709 --> 00:01:57,959 Would you mind if I spoke with your grandmother 42 00:01:58,041 --> 00:01:59,208 privately for a moment? 43 00:02:03,625 --> 00:02:05,542 Rhonda. 44 00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:07,709 Would you mind if I walked you out? 45 00:02:19,542 --> 00:02:20,709 (door opens) 46 00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:22,917 (birds chirping) 47 00:02:24,208 --> 00:02:26,125 I think it would be good for Laila 48 00:02:26,208 --> 00:02:28,583 to do more things on her own. 49 00:02:28,667 --> 00:02:30,625 Rhonda: If I could trust her to do that, I would. 50 00:02:30,709 --> 00:02:32,542 But, I can't. 51 00:02:32,625 --> 00:02:36,834 -I know Laila's smart. -Brooke: She's more than just smart. 52 00:02:36,917 --> 00:02:38,625 She has a way of looking at the world 53 00:02:38,709 --> 00:02:40,375 that genuinely surprises me. 54 00:02:40,458 --> 00:02:43,333 She makes me challenge my own assumptions. 55 00:02:43,417 --> 00:02:45,709 Do you have any idea how rare that is? 56 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,208 -Rhonda: You believe that? -Brooke: I do. 57 00:02:49,291 --> 00:02:50,959 But Laila and I still have work to do, 58 00:02:51,041 --> 00:02:54,709 and I'm asking for the time to make that happen. 59 00:02:57,583 --> 00:03:00,583 Rhonda: Well then, you've got your hour. 60 00:03:05,917 --> 00:03:08,542 -(door shuts) -(footsteps approaching) 61 00:03:08,625 --> 00:03:10,041 Laila? 62 00:03:12,834 --> 00:03:14,250 Let's get started. 63 00:03:16,041 --> 00:03:18,208 (light piano music playing) 64 00:03:18,291 --> 00:03:20,417 ♪ 65 00:03:35,333 --> 00:03:38,917 It was all, like, ping-pong balls and pots. Like, 66 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,333 I don't know, uh, the pots were angled, and they were, like, 67 00:03:41,417 --> 00:03:43,542 trying to bounce them in a particular order. 68 00:03:43,625 --> 00:03:45,000 To get them in the cup? 69 00:03:45,083 --> 00:03:47,875 Okay, I-- it sounds dumb, but I swear, it was like amazing. 70 00:03:47,959 --> 00:03:51,333 And it also got me through that first quarantine phase, too. 71 00:03:51,417 --> 00:03:53,000 Can't believe you haven't seen it. 72 00:03:53,083 --> 00:03:54,875 I'm not really a social media person. 73 00:03:54,959 --> 00:03:57,417 But it wasn't, like, purely a TikTok thing. 74 00:03:57,500 --> 00:03:59,709 Like, people were sharing it everywhere. 75 00:03:59,792 --> 00:04:02,166 On Twitter, Instagram, on Facebook even. 76 00:04:02,250 --> 00:04:04,417 And it was just this white lady and her son, 77 00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:06,542 but it was, like, totally wholesome. 78 00:04:06,625 --> 00:04:09,917 Like, you could tell they had a really nice relationship. 79 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,667 -Do-- -(rumbling) 80 00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:15,041 -(animals chirping, squeaking) -(skittering on roof) 81 00:04:16,458 --> 00:04:18,000 What is that? 82 00:04:18,083 --> 00:04:20,917 -(chirping continues) -Squirrels fighting. 83 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,625 (running continues) 84 00:04:22,709 --> 00:04:25,583 Damn. It's like NatGeo up in these hills. 85 00:04:25,667 --> 00:04:28,250 -(laughs) -You know, I saw a peacock 86 00:04:28,333 --> 00:04:30,709 walking down the middle of the street the other morning? 87 00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:32,083 It was insane, like... 88 00:04:32,166 --> 00:04:35,959 I had been transported to, like, India or something. 89 00:04:36,041 --> 00:04:38,125 I would give anything to go anywhere else 90 00:04:38,208 --> 00:04:40,333 for a little, just a little while. 91 00:04:41,375 --> 00:04:43,500 Mm. 92 00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:45,667 -Amen. -Is that one of the reasons 93 00:04:45,750 --> 00:04:48,542 you've been dreaming of getting away with Cara? 94 00:04:50,375 --> 00:04:53,417 You make it sound like it's like a fantasy or something. 95 00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:55,125 It's fully happening. We have a plan. 96 00:04:55,208 --> 00:04:57,667 It didn't sound like it last week. 97 00:04:57,750 --> 00:05:00,500 -Yeah, but that was last week. -Laila, 98 00:05:00,583 --> 00:05:02,750 I know you want to run away but I'm not sure-- 99 00:05:02,834 --> 00:05:04,458 We're gonna fly to Mexico City. 100 00:05:04,542 --> 00:05:07,792 -Mexico? -That's, like, the first stop. 101 00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:10,375 There's a Courtyard Marriott right next to the airport, 102 00:05:10,458 --> 00:05:12,333 so we'll spend a night there 103 00:05:12,417 --> 00:05:14,875 before taking a flight to Lima in the morning. 104 00:05:14,959 --> 00:05:18,041 And from Lima, we'll take a flight to an even smaller city 105 00:05:18,125 --> 00:05:20,250 called Cusco, where we're gonna spend a few nights 106 00:05:20,333 --> 00:05:22,250 -to get acclimated. -Acclimated? 107 00:05:22,333 --> 00:05:25,041 Yeah, to the altitude. And from Cusco, 108 00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:27,208 we're gonna take a train to an even smaller town 109 00:05:27,291 --> 00:05:28,875 called Aguascalientes, 110 00:05:28,959 --> 00:05:31,542 where we'll spend a few more nights to get acclimated 111 00:05:31,625 --> 00:05:34,500 -before going to... -(drumming on legs) 112 00:05:34,583 --> 00:05:35,875 Machu Picchu. 113 00:05:35,959 --> 00:05:38,166 -Machu Picchu? -I'm dying to go. 114 00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:40,667 -Why? -I love everything about it. I love... 115 00:05:40,750 --> 00:05:42,542 -I love heights, and I love-- -You love heights? 116 00:05:42,625 --> 00:05:43,959 Most people are afraid of heights. 117 00:05:44,041 --> 00:05:46,667 Actually, they're afraid of the feeling that comes over them 118 00:05:46,750 --> 00:05:48,166 that makes them wanna jump. 119 00:05:48,250 --> 00:05:50,834 You ever heard anybody say that? 120 00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:53,333 -L'appel du vide. -Yes. 121 00:05:53,417 --> 00:05:54,959 Exactly. 122 00:05:55,041 --> 00:05:56,458 You step to the edge of a cliff, 123 00:05:56,542 --> 00:05:58,333 and the feeling creeps up on you and... 124 00:05:58,417 --> 00:05:59,792 Yeah. 125 00:05:59,875 --> 00:06:02,291 The abyss beckons. 126 00:06:04,917 --> 00:06:07,583 (scoffs) It must be so fucking cool. 127 00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:10,208 So, you don't get that feeling? 128 00:06:10,291 --> 00:06:11,709 Maybe a little, but, 129 00:06:11,792 --> 00:06:14,542 I mean, Cara is, like, terrified of heights. Like, 130 00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:18,625 when we first started going to the overlook, she'd get vertigo. 131 00:06:18,709 --> 00:06:22,166 -How does she feel about Machu Picchu? -Oh, she's excited. 132 00:06:22,250 --> 00:06:23,709 She's really into ancient stuff and-- 133 00:06:23,792 --> 00:06:25,375 I mean, mostly, like, Egyptian stuff. 134 00:06:25,458 --> 00:06:27,125 I mean, she's a total dork about-- 135 00:06:27,208 --> 00:06:28,959 Did she help with the planning? 136 00:06:29,959 --> 00:06:31,667 I mean, no, but it's not hard. 137 00:06:31,750 --> 00:06:34,500 -You know, it's just Google. -Did she have a say 138 00:06:34,583 --> 00:06:36,625 in where you were going? 139 00:06:37,792 --> 00:06:40,083 What do you mean, "Did she have a say?" 140 00:06:40,166 --> 00:06:43,417 Was Machu Picchu her choice or yours? 141 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,291 I mean, it was, like, both of ours. 142 00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:51,542 You know, I like being outside. I like the mountains. 143 00:06:51,625 --> 00:06:55,583 I like climbing. And she likes ancient shit, so it's, like... 144 00:06:55,667 --> 00:06:57,917 Yeah, it-it's perfect. 145 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,375 So you decided? 146 00:07:00,083 --> 00:07:02,125 By yourself? 147 00:07:07,125 --> 00:07:08,500 Can I get some water? 148 00:07:08,583 --> 00:07:12,542 Sure. It's in the little fridge in the island. 149 00:07:16,083 --> 00:07:19,417 -(opens fridge) -Oh! Glass bottles? 150 00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:21,667 -(bottles rattling) -Very responsible, Dr. T. 151 00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:23,834 (shuts fridge) 152 00:07:26,417 --> 00:07:29,125 (sighs) Do you ever, like, 153 00:07:29,208 --> 00:07:33,041 think about how much plastic the pandemic has heaped on Earth? 154 00:07:33,125 --> 00:07:35,291 Disposable gloves, water bottles, 155 00:07:35,375 --> 00:07:37,583 everything in individualized packaging? 156 00:07:40,250 --> 00:07:42,792 Mm. I guess hydration is important. 157 00:07:42,875 --> 00:07:44,250 Hm. 158 00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:46,834 I wish somebody told me that when I was your age. 159 00:07:46,917 --> 00:07:49,625 Uh-uh. Do not "when I was your age" people. 160 00:07:49,709 --> 00:07:51,959 -Why? -Because it makes you sound old. 161 00:07:52,041 --> 00:07:53,542 Like, you're older, 162 00:07:53,625 --> 00:07:55,083 but you're not like "old." 163 00:07:55,166 --> 00:07:56,417 (laughs) Well, I'm going to 164 00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:59,208 -"when I was your age" you one more time. -(laughs) 165 00:07:59,291 --> 00:08:02,083 Mm. This one, she doesn't listen. 166 00:08:02,166 --> 00:08:04,041 I distinctly remember having the urge 167 00:08:04,125 --> 00:08:05,792 to run away when I was your age. 168 00:08:05,875 --> 00:08:08,208 Uh-uh-uh! Don't say it another time! Literally, 169 00:08:08,291 --> 00:08:10,542 like, Candyman gonna come or Bloody Mary or, like, 170 00:08:10,625 --> 00:08:13,917 -whoever comes when you say something like three times. -(laughs) 171 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:17,208 (sighs) Have you ever run away before? 172 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:21,166 Well, yeah. Hasn't everyone? 173 00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:23,792 Do you remember the first time you ran away? 174 00:08:23,875 --> 00:08:25,375 Um... 175 00:08:25,458 --> 00:08:27,125 I was little, like... 176 00:08:27,959 --> 00:08:29,625 5? 177 00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:31,542 When we were still living in Anaheim. 178 00:08:31,625 --> 00:08:33,792 -Where'd you go? -Um... 179 00:08:34,583 --> 00:08:36,291 Not far. 180 00:08:37,375 --> 00:08:38,750 Just to the end of the block. 181 00:08:38,834 --> 00:08:40,709 It was a long block, 182 00:08:40,792 --> 00:08:43,709 but it wasn't, like, really running away. 183 00:08:44,875 --> 00:08:46,959 The way my grandma tells it, 184 00:08:47,041 --> 00:08:49,959 I was off going to find my mom. 185 00:08:51,625 --> 00:08:52,792 (scoffs) 186 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,500 Jeez. 187 00:08:55,583 --> 00:08:57,750 It's, like, sad, isn't it? 188 00:08:57,834 --> 00:09:00,375 (deep sigh) 189 00:09:00,458 --> 00:09:02,291 My parents divorced when I was little. 190 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,667 Truthfully, I don't ever remember them being together. 191 00:09:06,709 --> 00:09:08,125 But... 192 00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:12,917 Yeah, I don't know what happened, but it was messy. 193 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,500 How often did you see her afterwards? 194 00:09:15,583 --> 00:09:18,500 A few times maybe. 195 00:09:18,583 --> 00:09:21,000 I don't know what they worked out, but either my dad 196 00:09:21,083 --> 00:09:22,542 didn't want her to have custody, 197 00:09:22,625 --> 00:09:24,875 or she didn't want it. 198 00:09:24,959 --> 00:09:28,208 -How was the divorce explained to you? -(scoffs) Well, it wasn't. 199 00:09:28,291 --> 00:09:31,625 One day, I woke up, and my mom was gone, and... 200 00:09:33,083 --> 00:09:34,709 there was Grandma. 201 00:09:36,250 --> 00:09:38,375 Did you miss her? 202 00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:46,083 (sighs) I mean, enough to... 203 00:09:46,166 --> 00:09:48,417 pack up my Minnie Mouse rolling suitcase 204 00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:50,834 and walk straight out the door to find her. 205 00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:57,166 And this is dumb, but I remember everyone's lawn was dying. 206 00:09:57,250 --> 00:10:00,041 And the sidewalk was really messed up 207 00:10:00,125 --> 00:10:02,917 and hard for me to roll my suitcase down it. 208 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:07,125 It was hot. It was so hot. 209 00:10:07,208 --> 00:10:11,208 When I got to the end of the block, there was this bush. 210 00:10:14,875 --> 00:10:16,959 Just branches, so I-I guess there was, like, 211 00:10:17,041 --> 00:10:19,125 a-a drought or something. 212 00:10:19,208 --> 00:10:21,291 (scoffs) Now I realize, like, 213 00:10:21,375 --> 00:10:25,792 (laughs) there weren't any leaves, so, obviously, people could see me. 214 00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:28,709 (sighs) I must've looked so stupid. 215 00:10:29,667 --> 00:10:31,875 I just remember feeling like... 216 00:10:33,375 --> 00:10:36,875 like I had escaped this realm, you know? 217 00:10:38,709 --> 00:10:41,709 Everything okay there? 218 00:10:43,542 --> 00:10:44,875 Oh, um... 219 00:10:45,917 --> 00:10:48,250 Yeah. Yeah, it's nothing. 220 00:10:48,333 --> 00:10:51,125 Anyways, my grandma found me and dragged me 221 00:10:51,208 --> 00:10:54,458 and my suitcase all the way back home. 222 00:10:54,542 --> 00:10:57,083 (laughs) And, yeah. You know what happens 223 00:10:57,166 --> 00:11:00,208 to a Black girl when she doesn't act right. 224 00:11:00,291 --> 00:11:03,667 What happens to a Black girl when she doesn't act right? 225 00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:06,625 (scoffs) Dr. Taylor, are you serious? 226 00:11:06,709 --> 00:11:09,083 I mean, I know your family is bougie, but, like, 227 00:11:09,166 --> 00:11:11,000 y'all are still Black, right? 228 00:11:11,083 --> 00:11:12,917 What happens, Laila? 229 00:11:24,917 --> 00:11:26,750 You have to pick the belt. 230 00:11:28,250 --> 00:11:31,333 Was corporal punishment a fixture in your childhood? 231 00:11:31,417 --> 00:11:34,083 Jeez, "corporal punishment"? 232 00:11:34,750 --> 00:11:36,834 That's like... 233 00:11:36,917 --> 00:11:38,500 What's the name of that prison in Iraq? 234 00:11:38,583 --> 00:11:40,375 How would you describe it? 235 00:11:40,458 --> 00:11:43,667 (scoffs) I mean, not like that. 236 00:11:43,750 --> 00:11:46,709 You were never spanked when you were a kid? Black kids get beat. 237 00:11:46,792 --> 00:11:49,750 -It's not a big deal-- -The assumption that Black people 238 00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:53,709 need to be punished physically is frustrating for me. 239 00:11:53,792 --> 00:11:55,667 All the research in childhood development-- 240 00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:57,166 But it's not torture or anything. 241 00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:59,709 Why do you think you deserve to be hit, Laila? 242 00:11:59,792 --> 00:12:03,625 By any person at any time? 243 00:12:03,709 --> 00:12:06,041 I don't deserve to be hit, and I wasn't hit. 244 00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:08,709 I was spanked. I mean, there's a difference! 245 00:12:08,792 --> 00:12:11,041 And when I look at these white kids that go to my school, 246 00:12:11,125 --> 00:12:12,792 I know that they wouldn't be acting foolish 247 00:12:12,875 --> 00:12:15,542 if their parents had just, I don't know, spanked them 248 00:12:15,625 --> 00:12:17,583 -a time or two-- -Those white kids have 249 00:12:17,667 --> 00:12:20,166 a mental freedom you will never know. 250 00:12:20,250 --> 00:12:22,583 That I will never have. That our culture has-- 251 00:12:22,667 --> 00:12:24,959 -Abu Ghraib. -What? 252 00:12:25,041 --> 00:12:27,083 That's the name of the-- that prison in Iraq 253 00:12:27,166 --> 00:12:29,417 where they tortured those people. 254 00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:32,834 We learned about it in social studies in middle school. 255 00:12:32,917 --> 00:12:36,417 Those white soldiers? I mean, they were having a good time! 256 00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:38,083 White police officers, too! 257 00:12:38,166 --> 00:12:40,083 It's fun for them to kill us! 258 00:12:40,166 --> 00:12:43,625 They post about it on Facebook. They make jokes about it! 259 00:12:43,709 --> 00:12:46,250 White ladies be getting amped to call 911 on us 260 00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:47,458 and have cops come and teach us 261 00:12:47,542 --> 00:12:50,959 how to act, but-but that doesn't matter either! 262 00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:54,750 I feel like I've spent my entire life 263 00:12:54,834 --> 00:12:56,792 watching Black kids get murdered! 264 00:12:56,875 --> 00:12:59,333 Like, for what? For nothing! 265 00:13:02,166 --> 00:13:04,834 For a water gun! For... 266 00:13:06,291 --> 00:13:08,125 I mean, Black girls getting dragged down 267 00:13:08,208 --> 00:13:10,291 the middle of the street for being too loud! 268 00:13:10,375 --> 00:13:12,959 Like, the stakes, they're too fucking high 269 00:13:13,041 --> 00:13:16,041 for Black kids to be anything but quiet! 270 00:13:17,375 --> 00:13:19,041 Acting right... 271 00:13:19,959 --> 00:13:21,667 doesn't make a difference. 272 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:26,333 My dad spent his entire life 273 00:13:26,417 --> 00:13:28,959 trying to move us out of a one-story ranch 274 00:13:29,041 --> 00:13:30,625 in Anaheim to, like, 275 00:13:30,709 --> 00:13:32,667 a glass box in Baldwin Hills, 276 00:13:32,750 --> 00:13:35,959 but does that make a difference? Does that make us safer? 277 00:13:36,041 --> 00:13:37,250 I don't know. 278 00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:40,583 My grandma threw out all of my hoodies after Trayvon! 279 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,709 Does that make me safer? 280 00:13:46,542 --> 00:13:48,291 I mean, I'm alive. 281 00:13:50,041 --> 00:13:51,625 I survived. 282 00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:57,375 And now, I wear Gucci instead of, 283 00:13:57,458 --> 00:14:00,750 I don't know, fucking Old Navy or whatever the fuck, 284 00:14:00,834 --> 00:14:03,500 but does that make me safer? 285 00:14:03,583 --> 00:14:05,333 Everything my family has done, 286 00:14:05,417 --> 00:14:07,291 everything Jamal has worked for, 287 00:14:07,375 --> 00:14:09,291 it-it doesn't fucking matter! 288 00:14:09,375 --> 00:14:10,792 It's all bullshit! 289 00:14:10,875 --> 00:14:14,250 Is that bullshit what you're trying to run away from? 290 00:14:15,875 --> 00:14:16,959 (sighs) 291 00:14:22,792 --> 00:14:24,875 So what? I... (sniffles) 292 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,250 (sighs) 293 00:14:28,333 --> 00:14:30,750 I suppose your ways of escaping are, like, 294 00:14:30,834 --> 00:14:32,583 (sniffs) a warm bubble bath? 295 00:14:32,667 --> 00:14:35,667 -A Terry McMillan novel? -(laughs) 296 00:14:38,542 --> 00:14:39,792 If only. 297 00:14:45,333 --> 00:14:47,625 We're all human, Laila. 298 00:14:49,875 --> 00:14:51,333 Every one of us. 299 00:15:00,291 --> 00:15:02,458 The last time you... 300 00:15:03,834 --> 00:15:04,959 (sighs) 301 00:15:05,667 --> 00:15:07,166 escaped? 302 00:15:08,166 --> 00:15:09,333 Where did you go? 303 00:15:11,417 --> 00:15:14,000 -Seattle. -Why? 304 00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,166 Um... 305 00:15:19,959 --> 00:15:22,166 There's a mountain there. (sniffs) 306 00:15:24,083 --> 00:15:25,625 Mount Rainier. 307 00:15:26,792 --> 00:15:29,166 -Have you been? (laughs) -Nope. 308 00:15:31,583 --> 00:15:33,834 It's not the tallest mountain, but... 309 00:15:36,166 --> 00:15:39,667 but the thing that makes it so special is that... 310 00:15:39,750 --> 00:15:42,542 it's taller than any of the mountains surrounding it. 311 00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:46,875 So you get to the top of it and you can, like, 312 00:15:48,166 --> 00:15:49,875 see out forever. 313 00:15:52,625 --> 00:15:55,375 It's like the overlook on steroids. 314 00:15:57,667 --> 00:15:59,709 You get that high up, 315 00:16:00,750 --> 00:16:02,417 and you're just, like... 316 00:16:09,166 --> 00:16:11,208 untouchable. 317 00:16:14,834 --> 00:16:16,792 Anyways, um, 318 00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:20,542 yeah. I took the train there. It was dumb. It took forever. 319 00:16:20,625 --> 00:16:22,500 And what was the mountain like? 320 00:16:22,583 --> 00:16:23,792 (scoffs) 321 00:16:23,875 --> 00:16:26,583 I never actually made it to Mount Rainier. 322 00:16:26,667 --> 00:16:28,667 Oh. Why not? 323 00:16:28,750 --> 00:16:30,750 'Cause Grandma was waiting for me at the station 324 00:16:30,834 --> 00:16:33,250 as soon as the train pulled up. 325 00:16:37,166 --> 00:16:39,250 Were you surprised to see her? 326 00:16:43,709 --> 00:16:44,750 (sighs) 327 00:16:47,291 --> 00:16:48,417 No. 328 00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:52,583 Like... 329 00:16:54,250 --> 00:16:56,291 I didn't know how she got there. 330 00:16:57,667 --> 00:17:00,959 But her being there wasn't a surprise. Not at all. 331 00:17:02,667 --> 00:17:04,792 So what happened? 332 00:17:04,875 --> 00:17:07,667 She had to take us back to LAX. 333 00:17:07,750 --> 00:17:09,667 She had found out where I was going. 334 00:17:09,750 --> 00:17:12,542 I had put the tickets on my dad's credit card, 335 00:17:12,625 --> 00:17:15,542 which was an amateur move, but... 336 00:17:15,625 --> 00:17:18,083 She figured it out, got a flight, 337 00:17:19,208 --> 00:17:21,583 made her way to the train station... 338 00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:24,667 all the time that it took me to get there 339 00:17:24,750 --> 00:17:26,625 in the first place, so. 340 00:17:26,709 --> 00:17:28,375 So what happened? 341 00:17:28,458 --> 00:17:30,333 She didn't say a thing. 342 00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:31,667 Seriously. 343 00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:34,041 We took an Uber back to the airport. 344 00:17:34,125 --> 00:17:35,625 She didn't say a thing. 345 00:17:37,166 --> 00:17:39,375 Took the flight, nothing. 346 00:17:39,458 --> 00:17:41,709 We took an Uber from LAX 347 00:17:41,792 --> 00:17:43,291 to back home. 348 00:17:47,041 --> 00:17:49,834 Nothing. (laughs) 349 00:17:49,917 --> 00:17:53,291 Actually, you wanna know what the first thing she said to me was? 350 00:17:56,875 --> 00:17:58,125 "Pick a belt." 351 00:17:59,625 --> 00:18:02,083 She didn't ask you why you ran away? 352 00:18:02,166 --> 00:18:04,166 She doesn't wanna know a thing about me. 353 00:18:07,625 --> 00:18:10,583 And did you pick a belt? 354 00:18:10,667 --> 00:18:14,208 I... I was too old to be spanked. 355 00:18:15,291 --> 00:18:17,208 And this was like... 356 00:18:17,291 --> 00:18:19,041 two years ago. I don't know. 357 00:18:19,125 --> 00:18:20,917 It's embarrassing, you know? Like, 358 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,917 I'm not a little kid anymore, so fuck that and fuck her. 359 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,000 So what happened? 360 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,542 She picked the belt. 361 00:18:34,125 --> 00:18:37,417 She chased me all around the house, 362 00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:41,083 swinging as hard as she could. 363 00:18:41,166 --> 00:18:43,417 She didn't care if she knocked shit off the wall. 364 00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:45,750 Just, like, after me, you know? 365 00:18:47,041 --> 00:18:49,208 I locked myself in the bathroom. 366 00:18:50,750 --> 00:18:52,875 (sobs, sniffles) 367 00:18:52,959 --> 00:18:56,333 I thought she was gonna kick the door down. 368 00:18:56,417 --> 00:18:59,834 -Or like kill herself trying. -Why didn't you leave? 369 00:19:01,875 --> 00:19:04,917 It was like I was a dumb bitch in a horror movie, I guess. 370 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,583 Like, shit's real. You just like panic, 371 00:19:07,667 --> 00:19:09,875 and just like stay in the house. 372 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,208 (sighs) I just keep on failing. 373 00:19:22,083 --> 00:19:24,291 And failing and failing and failing, 374 00:19:24,375 --> 00:19:26,709 even though I don't fail at anything 375 00:19:26,792 --> 00:19:28,417 because I can't! 376 00:19:30,417 --> 00:19:32,834 If I were to like fail a test 377 00:19:32,917 --> 00:19:35,166 or a quiz or... 378 00:19:35,250 --> 00:19:36,834 like a-a-a class, 379 00:19:36,917 --> 00:19:39,750 everything would be worse. Everybody would freak out, 380 00:19:39,834 --> 00:19:42,083 and so, so I don't fail because... 381 00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:46,083 (sobs) 382 00:19:46,166 --> 00:19:49,458 Because I can't. 383 00:19:49,542 --> 00:19:52,542 But it makes sense because that's what Black people do. 384 00:19:53,875 --> 00:19:56,291 That's what we're for in America. 385 00:19:57,417 --> 00:19:59,208 We're set up to fail. 386 00:19:59,291 --> 00:20:00,875 Everything is set up that way, 387 00:20:00,959 --> 00:20:03,500 so if you're the one-in-a-thousand person that doesn't, 388 00:20:03,583 --> 00:20:05,792 then that's fucking great. 389 00:20:07,333 --> 00:20:10,709 Doesn't sound like you think success is all that great. 390 00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:12,458 My dad's a success, 391 00:20:14,250 --> 00:20:16,000 and he's miserable. 392 00:20:19,291 --> 00:20:23,083 I'm a success. I got into every single school that I applied to. 393 00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:28,583 But I'm still crying about stuff that happened two years ago. 394 00:20:30,667 --> 00:20:34,333 Does that view affect how you see your future in general? 395 00:20:37,834 --> 00:20:40,917 Do you think you'll ever be happy? 396 00:20:44,166 --> 00:20:46,333 I'll either be... 397 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,500 trapped... 398 00:20:48,583 --> 00:20:51,709 in some never-ending capitalist bullshit 399 00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:53,542 fucking parade... 400 00:20:54,083 --> 00:20:55,458 (sighs) 401 00:20:55,542 --> 00:20:56,667 or I'll just be the trash 402 00:20:56,750 --> 00:20:59,125 that this country already thinks I am. 403 00:21:02,709 --> 00:21:04,375 So no. 404 00:21:05,709 --> 00:21:07,959 I don't think I'll ever be happy. 405 00:21:19,542 --> 00:21:22,041 -Where's my phone? -Laila... 406 00:21:23,041 --> 00:21:25,500 if you can just stay with me here. 407 00:21:25,583 --> 00:21:27,208 I know this is hard. 408 00:21:29,542 --> 00:21:31,125 -Are you texting with Cara? -(phone bloops) 409 00:21:31,208 --> 00:21:33,291 (sighs) How'd you know? 410 00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:34,959 You wanna share why you felt like you needed 411 00:21:35,041 --> 00:21:37,834 -to reach out to her? -You keep on telling me that the time 412 00:21:37,917 --> 00:21:40,083 we spend in here is for me. 413 00:21:41,625 --> 00:21:43,458 And right now, I want to text my girlfriend. 414 00:21:43,542 --> 00:21:45,041 Is that okay with you? 415 00:21:47,333 --> 00:21:49,041 That's fine. 416 00:21:52,542 --> 00:21:55,667 (texting) 417 00:22:11,125 --> 00:22:12,250 (opens fridge) 418 00:22:16,291 --> 00:22:17,417 (shuts fridge) 419 00:22:18,667 --> 00:22:21,041 -(cracks open bottle) -(sighs) 420 00:22:22,417 --> 00:22:24,250 (puts down lid) 421 00:22:34,917 --> 00:22:38,083 (footsteps approaching) 422 00:22:39,625 --> 00:22:41,959 Um, that's time. 423 00:22:46,291 --> 00:22:49,792 Is there, like, something you should say? 424 00:22:50,792 --> 00:22:52,166 What do you mean? 425 00:22:53,250 --> 00:22:55,208 So I can go? 426 00:22:55,291 --> 00:22:58,250 You're free to go whenever you want, Laila. 427 00:23:02,625 --> 00:23:04,959 Well, thanks for today. 428 00:23:05,041 --> 00:23:06,875 You're welcome. 429 00:23:06,959 --> 00:23:08,625 (car honking) 430 00:23:08,709 --> 00:23:10,333 See you next week. 431 00:23:13,917 --> 00:23:15,750 Yeah. 432 00:23:15,834 --> 00:23:18,000 Okay. 433 00:23:18,083 --> 00:23:20,959 (footsteps departing) 434 00:23:23,166 --> 00:23:24,291 (door opens) 435 00:23:25,667 --> 00:23:26,792 (door shuts) 436 00:23:30,500 --> 00:23:33,083 (opens freezer) 437 00:23:33,166 --> 00:23:36,834 (rummaging, shuts freezer) 438 00:23:42,500 --> 00:23:44,166 (pops top) 439 00:23:48,333 --> 00:23:50,166 (pouring) 440 00:23:56,583 --> 00:23:58,000 (puts down bottle) 441 00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:09,333 (deep exhale) 442 00:24:26,166 --> 00:24:29,375 ("Tuesday Feeling" by Blood Orange playing) 443 00:24:43,208 --> 00:24:45,458 (ball bouncing) 444 00:24:45,542 --> 00:24:47,333 -Oh! -Yeah! 445 00:24:47,417 --> 00:24:50,166 -(ball bouncing) -♪ Take it or leave it ♪ 446 00:24:50,250 --> 00:24:52,917 -(cheering on video) -♪ It's what you're owed ♪ 447 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:54,375 (soft laugh) 448 00:24:55,417 --> 00:24:57,500 (bouncing) 449 00:24:57,583 --> 00:24:59,667 (email chimes) 450 00:24:59,750 --> 00:25:03,083 ♪ He could make you think you're someone else ♪ 451 00:25:05,250 --> 00:25:08,000 ♪ Headaches always ♪ 452 00:25:08,083 --> 00:25:09,709 ♪ Always, uh ♪ 453 00:25:10,583 --> 00:25:12,834 ♪ Something to hold onto ♪ 454 00:25:12,917 --> 00:25:15,959 ♪ While you change all you do for a place ♪ 455 00:25:16,041 --> 00:25:17,125 (sighs) 456 00:25:19,542 --> 00:25:21,375 ♪ Uh, yeah, uh ♪ 457 00:25:21,458 --> 00:25:23,917 ♪ Take it or leave it ♪ 458 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,709 ♪ It's what you're owed ♪ 459 00:25:26,792 --> 00:25:28,959 ♪ Not okay ♪ 460 00:25:30,250 --> 00:25:32,417 ♪ Uh, uh, uh ♪ 461 00:25:33,959 --> 00:25:37,458 ♪ Choose to ignore blues ♪ 462 00:25:38,125 --> 00:25:41,458 (phone ringing) 463 00:25:41,542 --> 00:25:44,709 -Rita (on phone): Brooke? -There's no match, Rita. 464 00:25:44,792 --> 00:25:48,083 Rita: Brooke? Are you okay? 465 00:25:48,166 --> 00:25:50,041 ♪ You choose to stay ♪ 466 00:25:50,125 --> 00:25:52,291 He doesn't wanna know me. 467 00:25:55,041 --> 00:25:58,166 The adoption services email. 468 00:25:58,250 --> 00:26:00,250 Rita: What email are you talking about? 469 00:26:00,333 --> 00:26:05,041 It's like a big neon "fuck you" sign from my DNA. 470 00:26:05,125 --> 00:26:06,959 Rita: Back up, Brooke. 471 00:26:11,583 --> 00:26:14,834 -(song fades out) -(record crackling) 472 00:26:21,709 --> 00:26:24,834 ♪ ♪ 473 00:26:28,792 --> 00:26:30,208 -(puts down glass) -(sighs) 474 00:27:06,041 --> 00:27:08,333 -(opens garbage can) -(bottles clatter) 475 00:27:13,375 --> 00:27:16,500 ♪ ♪ 476 00:27:42,667 --> 00:27:45,750 ♪ ♪ 477 00:28:12,667 --> 00:28:15,750 ♪ ♪ 478 00:28:32,959 --> 00:28:34,542 BROOK TAYLOR: Have you noticed you tend to pick apart my words 479 00:28:34,625 --> 00:28:37,208 when I ask you something you don't want to talk about? 480 00:28:37,291 --> 00:28:39,542 Well, I have no problem talking about Kara. 481 00:28:39,625 --> 00:28:42,125 But you seem to have a problem talking about you. 482 00:28:42,417 --> 00:28:44,750 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 483 00:28:45,333 --> 00:28:49,834 The way you talk about leaving, it's so much fantasy language. 484 00:28:49,917 --> 00:28:52,208 Wow, you're really starting to piss me off. 485 00:28:52,291 --> 00:28:54,041 -Thank you for telling me that-- -God dammit! 486 00:28:54,125 --> 00:28:56,250 You're supposed to hit me when I say shit like that, 487 00:28:56,333 --> 00:28:57,250 not thank me. 488 00:28:57,625 --> 00:29:00,041 I promised you that I would always be honest with you. 489 00:29:00,125 --> 00:29:01,834 Then fine, just say it. 490 00:29:02,625 --> 00:29:04,000 I'd prefer you say it.