1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:01,875
Where's the guy
with all the words?

2
00:00:01,959 --> 00:00:02,709
He's tired.

3
00:00:03,125 --> 00:00:04,208
BROOKE TAYLOR: I didn't hear
from you this week.

4
00:00:04,542 --> 00:00:06,583
ELADIO: You said it was
inappropriate to call so...

5
00:00:06,875 --> 00:00:08,709
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

6
00:00:09,417 --> 00:00:12,166
Have you ever heard of the term
maternal transference?

7
00:00:12,250 --> 00:00:15,875
A patient can idealize their
therapist as a mother figure,

8
00:00:15,959 --> 00:00:19,458
and want the comfort
and guidance they didn't get.

9
00:00:19,959 --> 00:00:21,375
All families got it hard.

10
00:00:21,583 --> 00:00:23,917
It's a lot living with
the DeMarcos?

11
00:00:24,208 --> 00:00:26,583
I'm good at my job,
but I can make more money

12
00:00:26,667 --> 00:00:28,583
working at Baskin Robins
than I do here.

13
00:00:28,750 --> 00:00:29,959
Why do you stay?

14
00:00:30,041 --> 00:00:32,583
Because of Jeremy.
He matters to me.

15
00:00:44,208 --> 00:00:46,625
(birds chirping)

16
00:00:46,709 --> 00:00:49,458
Thank you for coming out.

17
00:00:49,542 --> 00:00:51,750
It's great you
make house calls.

18
00:00:51,834 --> 00:00:55,333
It's been much easier
since my vaccination.

19
00:00:55,417 --> 00:00:56,959
Is this an okay
place to set up?

20
00:00:57,041 --> 00:00:59,291
Yeah, anywhere with
a flat surface is fine.

21
00:01:01,291 --> 00:01:03,959
-Just one document
today, correct?
-Mm-hmm.

22
00:01:04,041 --> 00:01:06,875
-And what is the nature
of the document?
-Um...

23
00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:09,917
a Consent to Contact form?
Adoption.

24
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,625
California Department
of Social Services?

25
00:01:11,709 --> 00:01:14,583
Uh, South Los Angeles
Adoption Services.

26
00:01:14,667 --> 00:01:15,625
Hm.

27
00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:18,166
-Do you have
your ID as well?
-Yes.

28
00:01:22,375 --> 00:01:24,125
-Go ahead and sign.
-Oh, okay.

29
00:01:35,208 --> 00:01:37,500
(papers crinkling)

30
00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:47,667
Everything looks good.

31
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:50,583
Just need your
signature here

32
00:01:50,667 --> 00:01:52,250
and a thumbprint, please.

33
00:01:52,333 --> 00:01:53,500
Okay.

34
00:01:54,542 --> 00:01:56,000
(sighs)

35
00:02:06,208 --> 00:02:09,208
-(click)
-Make sure to submit
these together.

36
00:02:20,959 --> 00:02:24,000
(light piano music playing)

37
00:02:24,083 --> 00:02:26,166
♪

38
00:02:40,417 --> 00:02:42,583
Yeah! Good! I'm good!

39
00:02:42,667 --> 00:02:45,291
Feeling good today!
Easy in my harness.

40
00:02:45,375 --> 00:02:48,750
May I ask what has you
so filled with the spirit?

41
00:02:49,875 --> 00:02:52,417
Let me pick you up
and show you some shit.

42
00:02:56,458 --> 00:02:59,041
Bam! How you like me now?

43
00:02:59,125 --> 00:03:00,709
You see that?

44
00:03:01,750 --> 00:03:03,291
Open door!

45
00:03:03,375 --> 00:03:05,208
The DeMarcos took
Jeremy to a specialist

46
00:03:05,291 --> 00:03:06,667
all the way down in San Diego,

47
00:03:06,750 --> 00:03:10,458
and they're not gonna be
back home till, like, 8:00.

48
00:03:10,542 --> 00:03:12,000
So I'm lettin' my hair down

49
00:03:12,083 --> 00:03:14,166
like Dolly Parton
up in this bitch.

50
00:03:14,250 --> 00:03:16,500
Sorry.
I-I shouldn't say bitch.

51
00:03:16,583 --> 00:03:18,583
I'm lettin'
my hair down like

52
00:03:18,667 --> 00:03:20,542
(speaking Spanish)

53
00:03:20,625 --> 00:03:24,417
I'm ESL and English be
fucked sometimes but, yes.

54
00:03:24,500 --> 00:03:28,375
Yes, we can talk about
whatever today because...

55
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:29,875
ya tú sabes.

56
00:03:29,959 --> 00:03:33,291
So that must ease
the pressure to have them gone.

57
00:03:33,375 --> 00:03:34,667
Eladio:
Yeah, it does.

58
00:03:34,750 --> 00:03:36,750
I mean, I actually
slept last night.

59
00:03:36,834 --> 00:03:40,542
Almost four hours,
knowing they'd be up and gone.

60
00:03:40,625 --> 00:03:42,500
I mean, I'm not
trying to talk shit.

61
00:03:43,792 --> 00:03:44,959
I feel...

62
00:03:46,458 --> 00:03:48,917
-I feel bad kinda.
-Brooke: About what?

63
00:03:50,667 --> 00:03:52,500
About what I said
about them last week.

64
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:56,792
Like, you asked me...

65
00:03:56,875 --> 00:03:59,291
-you asked me why I stay.
-Yeah.

66
00:04:00,583 --> 00:04:02,166
And I said Jeremy.

67
00:04:02,250 --> 00:04:05,917
-You did.
-Well, I been thinking
a lot about it,

68
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:09,125
and I don't feel
like you believe me.

69
00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:11,250
Or, like, give it the...

70
00:04:11,333 --> 00:04:12,792
the weight it deserves.

71
00:04:12,875 --> 00:04:15,333
You know, I-I don't
feel like you get it.

72
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,625
So make me get it.

73
00:04:19,667 --> 00:04:22,458
He's not just
my fuckin' guy, yo.

74
00:04:22,542 --> 00:04:24,709
We're, like...

75
00:04:24,792 --> 00:04:26,667
in love.

76
00:04:26,750 --> 00:04:29,166
Do you mean in a romantic sense?

77
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,291
Wh-what even is romance?

78
00:04:33,375 --> 00:04:35,917
Look, I'm not trying
to dodge you or nothin'!

79
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,458
But, I don't think
my life is gonna be one

80
00:04:38,542 --> 00:04:41,625
that involves some sort of
long-term partnership

81
00:04:41,709 --> 00:04:43,750
as, like, a fucking
centerpiece.

82
00:04:45,375 --> 00:04:47,458
Why is that?

83
00:04:47,542 --> 00:04:50,917
My... how I move
through the world,

84
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,625
I don't know that
it's super-conducive

85
00:04:53,709 --> 00:04:56,166
to marriage or some
shit like that.

86
00:04:56,250 --> 00:04:58,291
People in my life
are like seasons.

87
00:04:58,375 --> 00:05:01,125
You know, they move
through me like water.

88
00:05:01,208 --> 00:05:03,709
I guess I put them
into two categories.

89
00:05:03,792 --> 00:05:05,333
People I love
that I might fuck,

90
00:05:05,417 --> 00:05:08,125
and people I love
that I'll never fuck.

91
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:09,125
And Freud,

92
00:05:09,208 --> 00:05:11,291
my dude, if you're listenin',

93
00:05:11,375 --> 00:05:12,875
we've established

94
00:05:12,959 --> 00:05:15,000
my therapist
is in the latter.

95
00:05:15,083 --> 00:05:16,500
-(laughs)
-I mean,

96
00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:20,125
sex is just a part
of the possible landscape
or it's not.

97
00:05:20,208 --> 00:05:22,417
Like, which is to say that

98
00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:26,417
all love, to me, is romantic.

99
00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:29,291
-I can understand that.
-It all requires courtship,

100
00:05:29,375 --> 00:05:31,250
it all requires sacrifice,

101
00:05:31,333 --> 00:05:32,667
and I don't...

102
00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:35,834
Like, if you're asking
are me and Jeremy together,

103
00:05:35,917 --> 00:05:39,166
no. But we're a unit.

104
00:05:39,250 --> 00:05:42,291
You know, ever since
I started working here,
he's become...

105
00:05:43,166 --> 00:05:45,750
he-he's in my life.

106
00:05:45,834 --> 00:05:48,417
When did that become true?

107
00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:50,917
-What do you mean?
-Well,

108
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:54,500
I have to imagine it wasn't like
that from the very first second.

109
00:05:54,583 --> 00:05:57,166
There had to be a moment
where things shifted, no?

110
00:05:57,250 --> 00:05:58,834
When the patient goes

111
00:05:58,917 --> 00:06:01,625
from simply being work
to something more.

112
00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:06,375
Like us?

113
00:06:06,458 --> 00:06:09,750
Uh, like the late-night
phone calls and shit.

114
00:06:10,291 --> 00:06:11,375
No.

115
00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:14,083
-No, I don't think--
-Look, I don't know

116
00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:17,625
that I have, like,
a story for you, you know,

117
00:06:17,709 --> 00:06:20,458
I mean, I got stories
for days, but not...

118
00:06:21,458 --> 00:06:23,291
Was there a moment?

119
00:06:23,375 --> 00:06:26,542
I mean, it was just
kinda easy. All right?
Like...

120
00:06:26,625 --> 00:06:28,667
he's a easy dude to love,

121
00:06:28,750 --> 00:06:30,166
and he loved me
from the beginning,

122
00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:32,834
and not in
a superficial way.
It was...

123
00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:42,667
Look, friendship for me?

124
00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:45,291
It's traditionally
been pretty weird.

125
00:06:45,375 --> 00:06:47,625
I've never had a lot of friends

126
00:06:47,709 --> 00:06:49,500
that were my own age.

127
00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:51,375
You know, but-but Jeremy,

128
00:06:51,458 --> 00:06:53,917
we're equals in a way
that I'm not used to.

129
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:57,333
You know, he listens to me.
He confides in me. He...

130
00:07:00,667 --> 00:07:02,041
Brooke:
What?

131
00:07:03,667 --> 00:07:05,250
I don't know. He...

132
00:07:05,333 --> 00:07:07,000
He takes me seriously.

133
00:07:07,083 --> 00:07:09,917
You know,
and I take him seriously.

134
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,458
You gotta understand,
this is a guy that people

135
00:07:12,542 --> 00:07:14,750
fuckin' undermine
and dismiss

136
00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:18,250
every fuckin'
second of his life,
and he fights back.

137
00:07:18,333 --> 00:07:21,291
He stands up for himself,
and it's dope.

138
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:28,250
Now, we used to spend
whole days at Target,

139
00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:30,792
like, in front of the elevator
because he needs to practice

140
00:07:30,875 --> 00:07:34,208
pressing the button,
and people would be like to me,

141
00:07:34,291 --> 00:07:36,291
"Sir, can you just
press it for him?"

142
00:07:36,375 --> 00:07:38,542
And Jeremy
would go off on them,
and then I get to be

143
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:41,041
-on my tough-guy shit.
-(laughs)

144
00:07:41,125 --> 00:07:44,041
(laughs) We almost got
kicked out, like, twice.

145
00:07:44,125 --> 00:07:46,166
But it's fun.

146
00:07:46,250 --> 00:07:48,166
Being his accomplice.

147
00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:51,458
And he's my accomplice, too.

148
00:07:51,542 --> 00:07:53,041
Oh, in what way?

149
00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:56,458
Well, this one time, right,

150
00:07:56,542 --> 00:07:59,125
his brother Daniel came
back home from Princeton,

151
00:07:59,208 --> 00:08:01,959
and dude had been home
for all of three hours,

152
00:08:02,041 --> 00:08:04,041
and his watch goes missing.

153
00:08:04,125 --> 00:08:05,667
(scoffs) Dog,

154
00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:08,083
I don't even... What?

155
00:08:08,166 --> 00:08:10,792
What kind of fucking
sense would that make?

156
00:08:10,875 --> 00:08:12,333
But Daniel wasn't around,

157
00:08:12,417 --> 00:08:14,500
so he didn't realize
I was a part of the family.

158
00:08:14,583 --> 00:08:16,375
He thought he could talk
to me any kind of way,

159
00:08:16,458 --> 00:08:19,458
so he accuses me,
and I was like, "Fam.

160
00:08:19,542 --> 00:08:22,250
"What the fuck do I want
with a mid-range Movado?

161
00:08:22,333 --> 00:08:25,000
I mean, if it was
Patek Philippe, maybe."

162
00:08:25,083 --> 00:08:26,333
You know what I mean?

163
00:08:26,417 --> 00:08:28,875
But he didn't think
I was gonna clap back.

164
00:08:28,959 --> 00:08:31,333
-(laughs)
-So he turns all kinds of red,

165
00:08:31,417 --> 00:08:34,500
and then Daniel tries
to get up in my face!
I'm like, "Dog.

166
00:08:34,583 --> 00:08:36,458
"I-I'm not trying
to catch a felony,

167
00:08:36,542 --> 00:08:37,917
but I will put you down."

168
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,166
-(chuckles)
-But it didn't even
come to that

169
00:08:40,250 --> 00:08:42,333
because Jeremy
got between us.

170
00:08:42,417 --> 00:08:44,500
-What, physically?
-Physically!

171
00:08:44,583 --> 00:08:46,667
He rolled over his foot, yo.

172
00:08:46,750 --> 00:08:48,542
And that-that electric
joint is heavy.

173
00:08:48,625 --> 00:08:50,333
And I was like, "Yo, chill!"

174
00:08:50,417 --> 00:08:53,375
But he-he wouldn't.
He defended me.

175
00:08:53,458 --> 00:08:57,041
You know, I never had
anybody defend me like that.

176
00:08:57,125 --> 00:08:58,875
Especially...

177
00:08:58,959 --> 00:09:01,166
especially not a white person.

178
00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:03,291
That shit meant
something to me.

179
00:09:03,375 --> 00:09:05,041
I'm sure it did.

180
00:09:05,125 --> 00:09:07,000
Eladio:
We don't agree on everything.

181
00:09:07,083 --> 00:09:09,458
Sometimes, we fight like
a fuckin' old married couple,

182
00:09:09,542 --> 00:09:11,709
but when it comes down to it,

183
00:09:11,792 --> 00:09:15,083
even if he says some
stupid shit sometimes,

184
00:09:16,083 --> 00:09:18,959
his actions are louder.

185
00:09:19,041 --> 00:09:21,875
I don't know a human being
alive that doesn't understand

186
00:09:21,959 --> 00:09:24,875
how complicated
relationships can be.

187
00:09:24,959 --> 00:09:27,000
Mm, sounds like you got
some stories there, doc.

188
00:09:27,083 --> 00:09:30,041
-(laughs)
-Let me guess, some
star-crossed love shit?

189
00:09:30,125 --> 00:09:32,417
(laughs) Crossed,
bisected, interlaced,

190
00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:34,750
-zig-zagged, you name it.
-(laughs)
Bunch of men out there

191
00:09:34,834 --> 00:09:36,750
looking for you
to be mommy, I bet.

192
00:09:36,834 --> 00:09:39,500
You are not alone
in that, Eladio, okay?

193
00:09:39,583 --> 00:09:42,709
-You are not alone.  (laughs)
-(laughs)

194
00:09:42,792 --> 00:09:46,291
-Oh...
-So what do you and Jeremy
end up fighting about?

195
00:09:48,208 --> 00:09:49,333
(sucks teeth)

196
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,166
(inhales)

197
00:09:54,959 --> 00:09:56,709
Look,

198
00:09:56,792 --> 00:09:59,041
what I'ma say about this,

199
00:09:59,125 --> 00:10:00,959
it's... it's just...

200
00:10:03,458 --> 00:10:06,917
I don't have a lot of experience
in disability politics, okay?

201
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:10,208
I will hear everything
you say with that caveat.

202
00:10:10,291 --> 00:10:12,166
Eladio:
It's just that, Jeremy says

203
00:10:12,250 --> 00:10:14,750
a lot of fucked-up shit
that I disagree with.

204
00:10:14,834 --> 00:10:17,625
And primarily,
his ignorance is born
of class and race.

205
00:10:17,709 --> 00:10:19,250
And nobody
that takes care of him

206
00:10:19,333 --> 00:10:21,792
shares the same class
or the same race.

207
00:10:21,875 --> 00:10:24,291
I mean, there was this one
white boy, but he didn't last.

208
00:10:24,375 --> 00:10:27,583
And look, I make
$12 an hour, right?

209
00:10:27,667 --> 00:10:30,458
I don't have a savings.
But if I did have a savings,

210
00:10:30,542 --> 00:10:33,291
I would put a fucking
G-note on the fact
that Jeremy has said

211
00:10:33,375 --> 00:10:36,959
some wildly offensive shit to
each and every one of his aides.

212
00:10:37,041 --> 00:10:39,125
And I'm not super-close
with those guys. I mean,

213
00:10:39,208 --> 00:10:42,166
I hung out with Marlon, like,
a couple times and that's it.

214
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:43,917
But from what I gathered,
those other dudes,

215
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,375
they don't take Jeremy's bait.

216
00:10:45,458 --> 00:10:49,083
I mean, I asked Marlon about
it once, and he's like, "Dog...

217
00:10:49,166 --> 00:10:51,959
you know, it's not worth it.
I don't get paid enough."

218
00:10:52,041 --> 00:10:53,792
And facts.

219
00:10:53,875 --> 00:10:55,750
I'm watching you, Eladio,

220
00:10:55,834 --> 00:10:57,458
and your body
language right now,

221
00:10:57,542 --> 00:11:00,166
and I would bet
you take the bait.

222
00:11:00,250 --> 00:11:04,375
(scoffs)
Every fuckin' time, yo!

223
00:11:04,458 --> 00:11:06,083
But to not take the bait

224
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,709
would be to dismiss him,
and he's not stupid at all!

225
00:11:08,792 --> 00:11:12,583
His disability is
literally 100% physical!

226
00:11:12,667 --> 00:11:14,834
Th-there's zero
intellectual component!

227
00:11:14,917 --> 00:11:16,625
In fact, if you look it up,

228
00:11:16,709 --> 00:11:19,583
it says,
"intelligence is normal

229
00:11:19,667 --> 00:11:21,542
to above normal."
I repeat--

230
00:11:21,625 --> 00:11:23,458
"Normal to above normal."

231
00:11:23,542 --> 00:11:24,959
You're saying

232
00:11:25,041 --> 00:11:28,000
he's responsible for
his words and behavior?

233
00:11:28,083 --> 00:11:30,667
Eladio:
Of course he fuckin' is!

234
00:11:30,750 --> 00:11:33,000
And yo! You can't roll up on me

235
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:35,041
talkin' about, "Palestine
shouldn't be a state,"

236
00:11:35,125 --> 00:11:37,792
and just expect me
to fuckin' just, like,

237
00:11:37,875 --> 00:11:41,041
finish up my Caesar salad!
Like, yo,
get the fuck outta here!

238
00:11:41,125 --> 00:11:42,500
So you argue with him.

239
00:11:42,583 --> 00:11:44,542
Yo, dude is wrong
about most shit

240
00:11:44,625 --> 00:11:47,208
because he's white,
not because he's disabled.

241
00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:50,375
-Understood.
-And the things
he believes are-are

242
00:11:50,458 --> 00:11:53,041
fuckin' largely incorrect,

243
00:11:53,125 --> 00:11:55,709
uh, uh, ahistorical,
lack critical thinking,

244
00:11:55,792 --> 00:11:58,583
and that's not my fault!
But to not engage with him

245
00:11:58,667 --> 00:12:01,458
on that level feels ableist.

246
00:12:04,166 --> 00:12:07,083
Would you have this much
empathy for Jeremy,

247
00:12:07,166 --> 00:12:09,208
and empathy
from my point of view

248
00:12:09,291 --> 00:12:11,083
translates to patience,

249
00:12:11,166 --> 00:12:13,125
if he wasn't disabled?

250
00:12:15,291 --> 00:12:16,917
I... (scoffs)

251
00:12:18,375 --> 00:12:21,875
No. Probably not.

252
00:12:21,959 --> 00:12:24,667
Is that not in itself ableist?

253
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:26,750
Or,

254
00:12:26,834 --> 00:12:29,166
at the very least, a form of

255
00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:32,834
a condescension you
seem to abhor in others?

256
00:12:35,208 --> 00:12:36,834
I...

257
00:12:37,667 --> 00:12:39,291
Maybe.

258
00:12:40,834 --> 00:12:43,041
-(sighs)
-(chair rattling)

259
00:12:43,875 --> 00:12:45,542
(sighs)

260
00:12:45,625 --> 00:12:48,542
But I really do feel
empathetic toward him, yo.

261
00:12:48,625 --> 00:12:51,750
Like just because his sphere of
influence is small and wrong,

262
00:12:51,834 --> 00:12:54,333
doesn't mean his heart is wrong.

263
00:12:54,417 --> 00:12:56,583
His heart is...

264
00:12:56,667 --> 00:12:59,333
it's my favorite heart
in the world, yo.

265
00:12:59,417 --> 00:13:01,166
Like, real shit.

266
00:13:03,208 --> 00:13:05,083
(laughs) So,

267
00:13:05,166 --> 00:13:07,542
dude is mad religious, right?

268
00:13:07,625 --> 00:13:09,291
And one time,
he asked me to take him

269
00:13:09,375 --> 00:13:11,625
to this evangelical church
in Beverly Hills.

270
00:13:11,709 --> 00:13:14,458
Brooke:
I thought you said
the DeMarcos were Catholic.

271
00:13:14,542 --> 00:13:16,291
They are, but, um,

272
00:13:16,375 --> 00:13:18,625
but his friend was, like,

273
00:13:18,709 --> 00:13:20,792
giving a sermon or preaching...

274
00:13:20,875 --> 00:13:22,041
I-I don't know what it's called,

275
00:13:22,125 --> 00:13:23,834
but his friend was
the one doing the talking.

276
00:13:23,917 --> 00:13:25,834
-Got it.
-And,

277
00:13:25,917 --> 00:13:28,333
most of it largely
fuckin' sucked.

278
00:13:28,417 --> 00:13:31,250
He-he did say one
interesting thing, but...

279
00:13:31,333 --> 00:13:33,792
on our way, we got into
an argument because I told him

280
00:13:33,875 --> 00:13:36,709
a story about an ex of mine,
and he started saying

281
00:13:36,792 --> 00:13:39,333
I'm going to Hell because
I had sex out of wedlock.

282
00:13:39,417 --> 00:13:42,792
I'm like, "First of all,
who talks like that?"

283
00:13:42,875 --> 00:13:45,083
So, I'm already heated,
and by the time we got there,

284
00:13:45,166 --> 00:13:48,125
honestly, I wanted
to leave his ass.

285
00:13:48,208 --> 00:13:50,375
But, before
the service started,

286
00:13:50,458 --> 00:13:53,250
we hit the bathroom,
and the stall
was so small that,

287
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,500
like, we barely
could fit in there.

288
00:13:55,583 --> 00:13:57,333
I missed up
with the pee bottle.

289
00:13:57,417 --> 00:14:00,667
Now, I'm covered in piss,
which wasn't his fault.

290
00:14:00,750 --> 00:14:03,667
(laughs)
But-but, we already
weren't speaking,

291
00:14:03,750 --> 00:14:07,000
so, you know, it didn't help.

292
00:14:07,083 --> 00:14:09,834
Now, anyone with even
a cursory familiarity

293
00:14:09,917 --> 00:14:11,709
with the Bible
will tell you that

294
00:14:11,792 --> 00:14:14,291
it's a common theme that
a man who could not walk

295
00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:17,959
meets Jesus and, suddenly,
he can walk again.

296
00:14:18,041 --> 00:14:19,917
But what I didn't know
with my dumbass was that

297
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,583
these evangelical motherfuckers
take that shit seriously.

298
00:14:23,667 --> 00:14:25,458
Like, it's not a metaphor.

299
00:14:25,542 --> 00:14:29,208
So, halfway through
the sermon, they start trying

300
00:14:29,291 --> 00:14:31,375
-to lay hands on him.
-No.

301
00:14:31,458 --> 00:14:33,250
Yeah, yo.
They were yelling, like,

302
00:14:33,333 --> 00:14:36,125
"Heal him! Heal him!
He will walk again!"

303
00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,375
It was fucked up, yo,

304
00:14:38,458 --> 00:14:41,542
and, obviously, this pissed
Jeremy the fuck off.

305
00:14:41,625 --> 00:14:43,417
So now, my man, who was

306
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:46,333
just trying to talk to me
on some "holier than thou" shit

307
00:14:46,417 --> 00:14:47,834
five minutes prior,

308
00:14:47,917 --> 00:14:49,458
is cursing out
the entire congregation,

309
00:14:49,542 --> 00:14:52,000
and I'm like, "We gotta
get the fuck outta here."

310
00:14:52,083 --> 00:14:55,583
But, at one point,
my man was... (laughs)

311
00:14:55,667 --> 00:14:59,709
Yo, at one point, my man told
the pastor to suck his dick.

312
00:14:59,792 --> 00:15:02,333
-This is his friend?
-Yes, ma'am.

313
00:15:02,417 --> 00:15:05,333
He-he told this man to suck
his dick from the back.

314
00:15:06,333 --> 00:15:08,375
Yeah, I know.

315
00:15:08,458 --> 00:15:10,667
And then we ended up
sneaking into a movie,

316
00:15:10,750 --> 00:15:12,875
and he bought me
a new T-shirt.

317
00:15:12,959 --> 00:15:15,875
But the most important
thing to me was that

318
00:15:15,959 --> 00:15:17,500
he apologized.

319
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:21,000
-For saying you
were going to Hell?
-Yeah.

320
00:15:21,083 --> 00:15:23,000
And the most important
thing to him was that

321
00:15:23,083 --> 00:15:24,834
I had his back.

322
00:15:24,917 --> 00:15:27,750
You know, I didn't--
I didn't try to rush him
out of there.

323
00:15:27,834 --> 00:15:30,083
I waited till he
spoke his peace,

324
00:15:30,166 --> 00:15:31,834
and then we left.

325
00:15:32,834 --> 00:15:34,500
He's lucky to have you.

326
00:15:37,667 --> 00:15:40,417
Luck? Shit.

327
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:42,500
That's not a word
to associate with me.

328
00:15:43,834 --> 00:15:46,041
But, that's the one
thing the pastor said

329
00:15:46,125 --> 00:15:47,709
that made sense to me.

330
00:15:47,792 --> 00:15:49,208
The whole thing
was a mess,

331
00:15:49,291 --> 00:15:51,208
but just because someone is
wrong about everything else,

332
00:15:51,291 --> 00:15:54,333
doesn't mean that they don't
have insight about something.

333
00:15:54,417 --> 00:15:56,875
Then, you know,
at one point in the sermon,

334
00:15:56,959 --> 00:15:58,959
before all hell broke loose,

335
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,458
the pastor said,

336
00:16:00,542 --> 00:16:02,625
"Grass isn't greener
on the other side.

337
00:16:02,709 --> 00:16:05,375
The grass is green
where you water it."

338
00:16:05,458 --> 00:16:07,542
And that's me and Jeremy.

339
00:16:08,542 --> 00:16:12,417
It's not perfect,
but we tend to it.

340
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:14,583
You know, like, we fight,
and then we come home,

341
00:16:14,667 --> 00:16:16,333
and I draw him up a bath
and make sure

342
00:16:16,417 --> 00:16:18,417
he's got the lavender
bath salts that he likes,

343
00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:21,208
and the water's hot,
but not too hot.

344
00:16:21,291 --> 00:16:23,542
We shed the day together.

345
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,291
I'm gonna say this again

346
00:16:28,375 --> 00:16:30,542
so that you can hear it.

347
00:16:34,250 --> 00:16:36,875
Jeremy is lucky to have you.

348
00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:41,917
(scoffs) Yeah, whatever.

349
00:16:44,125 --> 00:16:46,041
I'm just a sucker,

350
00:16:46,125 --> 00:16:49,792
-and so is he, probably.
-Wait, no. Hey.

351
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:52,417
I'm not dismissing
any of what it takes

352
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:55,417
to be in a relationship
like that. Not at all.

353
00:16:55,500 --> 00:16:57,667
I'm simply trying to convey

354
00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:00,750
my appreciation for
the person that you are.

355
00:17:11,083 --> 00:17:13,291
(sighs) What did I miss?

356
00:17:15,834 --> 00:17:18,959
Nah. All good.

357
00:17:19,041 --> 00:17:22,625
Really?
'Cause I'm not getting
an "all good" vibe here.

358
00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:32,625
Would you be open to hearing
how I'm feeling right now?

359
00:17:34,458 --> 00:17:36,250
Cool. Sure.

360
00:17:37,166 --> 00:17:38,792
Truthfully?

361
00:17:39,542 --> 00:17:41,166
I'm frustrated.

362
00:17:42,250 --> 00:17:43,500
If I have it right,

363
00:17:43,583 --> 00:17:46,834
I simply paid you a compliment,
and you shut down.

364
00:17:51,083 --> 00:17:54,458
Yo, I come to therapy for help,
yo, not for compliments.

365
00:17:56,667 --> 00:17:58,125
Don't you?

366
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,875
Brooke:
I know your
childhood lacked

367
00:18:01,959 --> 00:18:04,917
any real acknowledgment
of your worth.

368
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:08,625
The disregard of your feelings,
of you, by your mother

369
00:18:08,709 --> 00:18:10,917
that persists to this day,

370
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,583
which is why this,

371
00:18:12,667 --> 00:18:14,458
between us...

372
00:18:16,667 --> 00:18:19,208
You cast me in the mother
role with the hope

373
00:18:19,291 --> 00:18:23,000
that I can be able to do
the things she can't.

374
00:18:23,083 --> 00:18:26,542
Acceptance,
attunement, approval.

375
00:18:27,333 --> 00:18:29,500
But when I approve,

376
00:18:30,208 --> 00:18:32,959
you can't hear it.

377
00:18:33,041 --> 00:18:35,500
You don't know
what to do with it.

378
00:18:35,583 --> 00:18:38,417
There isn't a place
built inside you

379
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:40,542
that can hold it.

380
00:18:44,083 --> 00:18:46,333
So where does
that leave us?

381
00:18:48,166 --> 00:18:49,375
(quietly):
Ooh.

382
00:18:50,542 --> 00:18:52,709
Damn, doc. (scoffs)

383
00:18:52,792 --> 00:18:55,125
That's some fucked-up shit.

384
00:18:55,208 --> 00:18:57,208
No wonder
I don't fuckin' sleep.

385
00:18:57,291 --> 00:18:58,333
That's a nightmare.

386
00:18:58,417 --> 00:19:01,750
Yes, indeed. It is
some fucked-up shit.

387
00:19:01,834 --> 00:19:05,959
It is also the "X"
on the treasure map.

388
00:19:06,041 --> 00:19:09,375
There is gold under our feet,
if you're down to dig.

389
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:14,166
What do you mean?

390
00:19:16,667 --> 00:19:18,834
There's a concept
in modern psychology

391
00:19:18,917 --> 00:19:21,625
known as re-parenting,

392
00:19:21,709 --> 00:19:24,417
where the therapist
guides the patient

393
00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:27,834
to a moment in their childhood
where they were wronged,

394
00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:31,333
and respond as a healthy,
secure parent would

395
00:19:31,417 --> 00:19:34,959
to help make the repair
to the inner child inside.

396
00:19:37,250 --> 00:19:40,083
You gonna rock me to sleep
or some shit?

397
00:19:40,667 --> 00:19:42,166
(laughs)

398
00:19:42,250 --> 00:19:44,000
Role play can occur,

399
00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:47,542
but it's rare
and a bit fringe.

400
00:19:48,583 --> 00:19:51,291
I generally start
with inviting you

401
00:19:51,375 --> 00:19:53,792
to close your eyes.

402
00:19:58,250 --> 00:19:59,625
Okay.

403
00:20:03,542 --> 00:20:06,208
Now, picture a place
from your childhood.

404
00:20:06,291 --> 00:20:09,792
Somewhere you felt safe.

405
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,667
I don't know that
I've ever felt safe,

406
00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:15,000
but I remember a room.

407
00:20:15,792 --> 00:20:17,250
What's in the room?

408
00:20:19,208 --> 00:20:20,917
I don't know exactly,

409
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,208
but there was a window,

410
00:20:23,291 --> 00:20:25,458
a mango tree...

411
00:20:25,542 --> 00:20:27,458
The squirrels used to play
with the rotten fruit

412
00:20:27,542 --> 00:20:29,166
outside in the summer.

413
00:20:29,250 --> 00:20:31,750
Wonderful.

414
00:20:31,834 --> 00:20:34,333
We'll use that
to establish space.

415
00:20:36,375 --> 00:20:39,125
Let's fill in some
of the details.

416
00:20:40,583 --> 00:20:42,500
Can you look down for me?

417
00:20:48,083 --> 00:20:50,375
-(sighs)
-What do you see?

418
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:53,041
Eladio:
Uh...

419
00:20:53,125 --> 00:20:55,291
It's a notebook, maybe.

420
00:20:55,375 --> 00:20:57,959
One of the ones with
the big- ass blue lines

421
00:20:58,041 --> 00:21:00,208
and the-the red dotted
line in the middle

422
00:21:00,291 --> 00:21:03,291
for when you're just
learning how to spell.

423
00:21:04,834 --> 00:21:06,792
What does it say?

424
00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:21,375
I'm sorry, I... I don't know
why I just went there, but...

425
00:21:21,458 --> 00:21:24,166
If there's something upsetting
in a memory this early,

426
00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:26,875
I think it's important
that we look at it.

427
00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:31,166
"I'm sorry."

428
00:21:31,250 --> 00:21:33,000
Brooke:
Nothing to be sorry for.

429
00:21:34,542 --> 00:21:37,959
Nah, that's what the paper said.

430
00:21:38,041 --> 00:21:40,250
And how old are you
in this memory?

431
00:21:42,875 --> 00:21:44,709
Eight, maybe.

432
00:21:46,333 --> 00:21:48,000
Somethin' like that.

433
00:21:48,083 --> 00:21:51,375
What does an 8-year-old
have to be sorry about?

434
00:21:52,083 --> 00:21:53,709
I don't know, man.

435
00:21:54,583 --> 00:21:57,083
That summer, I...

436
00:21:57,166 --> 00:21:59,917
I don't even know where
I got this shit from.

437
00:22:01,166 --> 00:22:04,208
That's the first summer
I started masturbating.

438
00:22:07,041 --> 00:22:09,083
(sighs) I don't--

439
00:22:09,166 --> 00:22:10,625
Should we even--

440
00:22:10,709 --> 00:22:12,333
I don't know that
this is relevant.

441
00:22:12,417 --> 00:22:14,625
Brooke:
It's all relevant.

442
00:22:16,792 --> 00:22:19,083
You were sorry for...

443
00:22:19,166 --> 00:22:21,875
-masturbating?
-No. It's just...

444
00:22:21,959 --> 00:22:24,792
it's the only thing
I did that whole summer.

445
00:22:24,875 --> 00:22:26,458
My moms thought I was sick
because I always wanted

446
00:22:26,542 --> 00:22:29,625
to be in the bathroom,
and then, at some point,

447
00:22:29,709 --> 00:22:33,125
I don't know if it was
the news or the TV,

448
00:22:33,208 --> 00:22:34,750
I got it in my head that

449
00:22:34,834 --> 00:22:36,875
masturbating gave you AIDS.

450
00:22:36,959 --> 00:22:38,875
-AIDS?
-Yeah, and I don't even know

451
00:22:38,959 --> 00:22:41,667
if I really knew
what that meant.

452
00:22:41,750 --> 00:22:43,500
I guess it meant death

453
00:22:43,583 --> 00:22:45,208
'cause I thought
I was gonna die,

454
00:22:45,291 --> 00:22:47,709
and I thought it was my fault,
so I was

455
00:22:47,792 --> 00:22:50,500
writing a letter,
apologizing to my mom.

456
00:22:51,625 --> 00:22:53,792
Did you give your
mother the letter?

457
00:22:55,250 --> 00:22:56,625
Yeah.

458
00:22:57,709 --> 00:22:59,333
How did she take it?

459
00:23:01,458 --> 00:23:02,792
What do you think?

460
00:23:07,458 --> 00:23:10,291
Then I'm going to be your
mother in this moment.

461
00:23:12,166 --> 00:23:15,625
I'm going to give you
the understanding

462
00:23:15,709 --> 00:23:17,333
you deserved.

463
00:23:20,333 --> 00:23:22,959
(inhales, exhales)

464
00:23:24,625 --> 00:23:25,959
Hey.

465
00:23:27,834 --> 00:23:29,500
I got your letter, El.

466
00:23:30,500 --> 00:23:32,750
Now, I-I know

467
00:23:32,834 --> 00:23:35,083
that it must be so scary

468
00:23:35,166 --> 00:23:37,500
to be dealing with
something very normal

469
00:23:37,583 --> 00:23:39,208
that you think might hurt you,

470
00:23:39,291 --> 00:23:40,834
-but--
-Can we actually...

471
00:23:41,917 --> 00:23:43,500
Can we not?

472
00:23:43,583 --> 00:23:47,834
I-I-I-- I'm not trying to be
resistant or, like, difficult.

473
00:23:47,917 --> 00:23:49,917
I just--
Look, I-I get it.

474
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,125
Maybe there is
something fuckin'...

475
00:23:53,208 --> 00:23:55,333
I don't know.
Now-now, I feel creepy.

476
00:23:55,417 --> 00:23:58,125
Brooke:
No, of course. No pressure.

477
00:23:58,208 --> 00:24:02,083
This doesn't seem like
the path for today.

478
00:24:02,166 --> 00:24:04,083
Yeah-yeah, I don't think
me talking about

479
00:24:04,166 --> 00:24:05,917
touching myself
will ever be the path.

480
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,375
No, that's the thing, Eladio.

481
00:24:08,458 --> 00:24:10,667
A good parent can show up,

482
00:24:10,750 --> 00:24:12,709
especially in
the uncomfortable
moments...

483
00:24:12,792 --> 00:24:14,583
-Can we actually, like...
-...and--

484
00:24:14,667 --> 00:24:16,917
is it okay if we
end early today?

485
00:24:18,709 --> 00:24:20,375
Yeah, uh-uh...

486
00:24:22,291 --> 00:24:23,834
Of course.

487
00:24:30,083 --> 00:24:31,709
(click, beep)

488
00:24:42,291 --> 00:24:44,375
♪

489
00:24:57,500 --> 00:24:59,625
(inhales, exhales)

490
00:25:04,208 --> 00:25:05,917
Hi.

491
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:09,125
Dr. Ahmadi, this is...

492
00:25:09,208 --> 00:25:12,208
(laughs) It's nice to hear
your voice, too. Listen,

493
00:25:12,291 --> 00:25:15,959
the reason I'm calling is
I have a patient
I wanna refer to--

494
00:25:17,083 --> 00:25:19,333
Male. Mid 20s.

495
00:25:19,417 --> 00:25:21,250
Disordered sleep, uh,

496
00:25:21,333 --> 00:25:23,667
previous bipolar diagnosis.

497
00:25:23,750 --> 00:25:25,625
I think he-- I think we--

498
00:25:25,709 --> 00:25:28,917
can both really use your help.

499
00:25:30,166 --> 00:25:33,291
♪ ♪

500
00:25:59,542 --> 00:26:02,625
♪ ♪

501
00:26:29,583 --> 00:26:32,667
♪ ♪

502
00:26:49,166 --> 00:26:51,125
I am a woman of my word.
And I said

503
00:26:51,208 --> 00:26:54,041
that if you dug in with me,
I would make an assessment...

504
00:26:54,333 --> 00:26:56,542
and, I have.

505
00:26:57,667 --> 00:27:00,959
-I spoke to a psychiatrist.
-And they'll write me a script?

506
00:27:01,041 --> 00:27:02,041
Well, she might, yes.

507
00:27:02,125 --> 00:27:03,291
Wait, might?

508
00:27:03,375 --> 00:27:05,959
First, she's gonna do her own
assessment,

509
00:27:06,041 --> 00:27:08,375
but, Eladio, I want
to be honest

510
00:27:08,458 --> 00:27:10,333
-about my analysis.
-Yeah?

511
00:27:10,542 --> 00:27:12,041
BROOK TAYLOR:
I have serious doubts

512
00:27:12,125 --> 00:27:15,333
about the validity
of your bipolar diagnosis.

513
00:27:16,208 --> 00:27:19,041
♪ (DRAMATIC OUTRO MUSIC PLAYS) ♪