1 00:00:00,875 --> 00:00:02,333 -(PHONE RINGS) -Are you okay? 2 00:00:02,417 --> 00:00:04,250 ELADIO: I didn't expect you to answer so late. 3 00:00:05,959 --> 00:00:08,500 You told me to call you if I needed you, and I did. 4 00:00:08,583 --> 00:00:09,834 You're right. I apologize. 5 00:00:10,083 --> 00:00:11,834 As your therapist, it's on me 6 00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:13,959 to delineate the boundaries that are appropriate. 7 00:00:14,041 --> 00:00:15,917 You know, I think I might just need a referral. 8 00:00:16,125 --> 00:00:18,000 In order to refer you to a psychiatrst, 9 00:00:18,083 --> 00:00:19,250 I need to know more. 10 00:00:19,583 --> 00:00:21,333 I haven't slept in six days, yo. 11 00:00:21,417 --> 00:00:22,250 Lithium. 12 00:00:22,583 --> 00:00:24,625 It's the only way I ever get any sleep at all. 13 00:00:24,709 --> 00:00:27,458 There's something at the heart of your sleeplessness. 14 00:00:28,333 --> 00:00:29,709 Are you gonna take care of me? 15 00:00:38,417 --> 00:00:41,500 ♪ ♪ 16 00:00:46,125 --> 00:00:47,792 (phone chimes) 17 00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:55,959 You expecting someone else? 18 00:00:56,041 --> 00:00:58,583 Brooke: (laughs) Sorry to wake you. 19 00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:01,792 You know, I don't come here to sleep alone. 20 00:01:01,875 --> 00:01:04,250 (laughs) 21 00:01:04,333 --> 00:01:07,125 -You know what I'm saying. -(laughs) Mm-hmm. 22 00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:13,417 Do you... miss Philly? 23 00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:16,333 There's nothing that city's got that I don't have here. 24 00:01:18,583 --> 00:01:21,583 Don't worry. I'm not just talking about you. 25 00:01:21,667 --> 00:01:23,250 (both chuckle) 26 00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,208 You know, it used to be that 27 00:01:25,291 --> 00:01:28,000 I could knock back a few drinks... 28 00:01:28,709 --> 00:01:30,041 fall asleep, 29 00:01:30,125 --> 00:01:33,041 sleep the whole night without waking. 30 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,583 And now, I can... 31 00:01:35,667 --> 00:01:37,709 I can get to sleep, but I... 32 00:01:37,792 --> 00:01:40,500 You probably need to drink a little more. 33 00:01:41,834 --> 00:01:43,959 Why do you do that? 34 00:01:44,041 --> 00:01:45,667 Do what? 35 00:01:47,125 --> 00:01:49,917 Encourage my drinking. 36 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:53,250 I don't encourage it. I just don't judge it. 37 00:01:53,333 --> 00:01:55,709 -Well, maybe you should. -Why? 38 00:01:55,792 --> 00:01:58,583 As Rita says, one drink is too many 39 00:01:58,667 --> 00:02:00,291 and a thousand isn't enough. 40 00:02:00,375 --> 00:02:03,709 Babe, you're the smartest person I know. 41 00:02:03,792 --> 00:02:05,834 And you know yourself better than anyone, 42 00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:09,208 so if you wanna have a drink, you should have a drink. 43 00:02:11,125 --> 00:02:13,041 I'm not gonna tell you what to do. 44 00:02:14,041 --> 00:02:15,166 Okay? 45 00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:18,875 (sighs) 46 00:02:21,125 --> 00:02:23,291 Humans are fucking fascinating. 47 00:02:23,375 --> 00:02:25,417 They're all just super interesting, 48 00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:26,875 -(laughs) -but you know... 49 00:02:26,959 --> 00:02:29,834 -I'm trying to, you know, get you in... -What? 50 00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:31,000 Brooke: What?! (laughs) 51 00:02:31,083 --> 00:02:34,250 (light piano music playing) 52 00:02:50,583 --> 00:02:52,166 (birds chirping) 53 00:02:52,250 --> 00:02:55,041 You look like you got some sun this weekend, Eladio. 54 00:02:55,125 --> 00:02:57,333 Did you spend some time outside? 55 00:02:57,417 --> 00:02:59,583 Jeremy had aquatic therapy. 56 00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:07,125 Hey. (laughs) Where's the guy with all the words? 57 00:03:07,208 --> 00:03:09,834 My Monday morning poet laureate? 58 00:03:09,917 --> 00:03:11,750 He's tired. (scoffs) 59 00:03:11,834 --> 00:03:13,458 Still not sleeping? 60 00:03:15,917 --> 00:03:17,083 I'd hoped things had changed 61 00:03:17,166 --> 00:03:19,041 since I didn't hear from you this week. 62 00:03:19,125 --> 00:03:22,792 Well, you... you said it was inappropriate to call, so... 63 00:03:22,875 --> 00:03:24,583 tried being a good boy. 64 00:03:25,917 --> 00:03:28,625 This might be a good time for us to discuss 65 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,583 your "ask" at the end of our session last week. 66 00:03:31,667 --> 00:03:34,458 About our relationship? The "mother" of it all? 67 00:03:35,291 --> 00:03:36,709 Yeah... 68 00:03:36,792 --> 00:03:39,000 I don't know if I wanna talk about that, you know? 69 00:03:40,375 --> 00:03:41,625 You're embarrassed? 70 00:03:41,709 --> 00:03:43,875 Dude, I-I know it's not normal. 71 00:03:43,959 --> 00:03:46,083 Brooke: No, it is normal, Eladio. 72 00:03:46,166 --> 00:03:48,709 It's very normal. 73 00:03:48,792 --> 00:03:51,792 Have you ever heard of the term "maternal transference"? 74 00:03:51,875 --> 00:03:53,166 Eladio: Let me guess. 75 00:03:53,250 --> 00:03:56,875 Uh, some whacked-out Freudian shit, like... 76 00:03:56,959 --> 00:03:59,333 "I wanna fuck my mom, and I guess you 77 00:03:59,417 --> 00:04:01,625 while I'm at it." 78 00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:03,625 I wouldn't put it quite like that. 79 00:04:03,709 --> 00:04:05,250 Yo, just 'cause I want, 80 00:04:05,333 --> 00:04:07,291 like, a hug sometimes, 81 00:04:07,375 --> 00:04:09,083 or to, whatever, like, lay my head 82 00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:11,625 in someone's lap, doesn't make me a sex-crazed psycho. 83 00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:15,959 A-and maternal transference can be as simple as that. 84 00:04:16,041 --> 00:04:19,125 A patient, especially one with your history of neglect, 85 00:04:19,208 --> 00:04:21,458 can sometimes idealize 86 00:04:21,542 --> 00:04:23,417 their therapist as a mother figure 87 00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:25,208 and want the comfort 88 00:04:25,291 --> 00:04:27,500 and guidance they didn't get. 89 00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:31,083 Okay, so... 90 00:04:31,166 --> 00:04:33,875 so can we just, like, do that? 91 00:04:36,458 --> 00:04:38,333 Only if it's in the service of you 92 00:04:38,417 --> 00:04:40,375 learning how to have those needs met 93 00:04:40,458 --> 00:04:42,542 in other ways. 94 00:04:42,625 --> 00:04:44,500 Yo, listen, I don't wanna waste your time. 95 00:04:44,583 --> 00:04:46,375 What do you mean? 96 00:04:46,458 --> 00:04:48,875 Eladio: Last time, you talked about process, 97 00:04:48,959 --> 00:04:51,667 you talked about not focusing on results, and... 98 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,583 I feel you. I do. 99 00:04:53,667 --> 00:04:56,792 And I don't mean no disrespect at the fuck all, but... 100 00:04:56,875 --> 00:04:59,333 I might not be the audience for all this. 101 00:04:59,417 --> 00:05:01,417 Therapy doesn't have a target audience. 102 00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:03,250 Everyone can benefit. 103 00:05:04,166 --> 00:05:05,542 Sure. 104 00:05:05,625 --> 00:05:08,458 But, all this talking about the past, 105 00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:10,125 the psychic wounds and shit, 106 00:05:10,208 --> 00:05:13,667 I haven't slept better since we talked last. I slept worse. 107 00:05:13,750 --> 00:05:15,625 -In what ways? -Last four nights, 108 00:05:15,709 --> 00:05:19,166 I've had the same dream. About the snow and the ash? 109 00:05:19,250 --> 00:05:21,709 And even though I haven't thought about this guy in years, 110 00:05:21,792 --> 00:05:23,583 it was Sikander holding my hand. 111 00:05:23,667 --> 00:05:25,667 That was a locked box, and you unlocked it. 112 00:05:25,750 --> 00:05:27,041 And I can't afford that. 113 00:05:27,125 --> 00:05:29,458 Maybe if this was long-term, and we were gonna do this for, 114 00:05:29,542 --> 00:05:31,917 like, years, then maybe. 115 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,375 N... Who's to say we can't? 116 00:05:36,041 --> 00:05:37,417 Dr. Taylor, 117 00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:40,208 you and I both know the financial realities 118 00:05:40,291 --> 00:05:42,792 that bar that from being the case. 119 00:05:42,875 --> 00:05:44,000 This is short-term. 120 00:05:44,083 --> 00:05:46,166 And it's possible that what I need 121 00:05:46,250 --> 00:05:48,792 isn't a therapist. It's a pharmacist. 122 00:05:48,875 --> 00:05:50,750 'Cause the only thing that's ever helped me sleep at all 123 00:05:50,834 --> 00:05:51,667 is the lithium. 124 00:05:51,750 --> 00:05:52,834 And if that sounds bad, 125 00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:56,208 I'm sorry, but that's my reality here. 126 00:06:01,542 --> 00:06:02,917 Alright. 127 00:06:04,542 --> 00:06:06,166 Eladio: What? 128 00:06:06,250 --> 00:06:08,166 Go get your pills. 129 00:06:10,375 --> 00:06:12,083 What? 130 00:06:12,166 --> 00:06:15,458 Go get your pills and bring them here so I can see them. 131 00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:20,166 -Why? -Because I asked you to. 132 00:06:27,083 --> 00:06:29,166 (zipper unzipping) 133 00:06:29,250 --> 00:06:31,667 (sighs, clears throat) 134 00:06:32,542 --> 00:06:35,166 (pills rattling) 135 00:06:39,542 --> 00:06:40,834 Count them, 136 00:06:40,917 --> 00:06:42,834 and let me know how many you have left. 137 00:06:47,625 --> 00:06:49,542 (muttering) 138 00:06:50,583 --> 00:06:53,458 Casi como ... 16. 139 00:06:53,542 --> 00:06:55,917 That's one a day. We have two weeks. 140 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,667 You know what that means? 141 00:06:59,083 --> 00:07:00,291 Eladio: What? 142 00:07:00,375 --> 00:07:02,291 We have time. 143 00:07:06,792 --> 00:07:09,208 Now, if you commit to the work, 144 00:07:09,291 --> 00:07:11,208 you have my word I will make an assessment 145 00:07:11,291 --> 00:07:14,667 and refer you to a psychiatrist before your pills run out. 146 00:07:19,041 --> 00:07:20,166 Fine. 147 00:07:22,291 --> 00:07:23,834 Alright. 148 00:07:23,917 --> 00:07:25,041 Let's do this. 149 00:07:25,709 --> 00:07:27,542 (scoffs) Yo. 150 00:07:30,041 --> 00:07:31,625 (clears throat) 151 00:07:31,709 --> 00:07:34,375 Now first of all, I have to ask... 152 00:07:34,458 --> 00:07:36,333 Oh... Oh, Jesus. 153 00:07:36,417 --> 00:07:38,542 Hold up, wait. What kind of fucking 154 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:39,834 Stanford Prison Experiment 155 00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:42,166 shit did I just sign up for? 156 00:07:42,250 --> 00:07:44,583 Whose name is on the bottle? 157 00:07:44,667 --> 00:07:48,000 I saw an "S" and an "O," but I couldn't make out the rest. 158 00:07:49,875 --> 00:07:52,125 Soyoung Hyesoon. 159 00:07:52,208 --> 00:07:53,875 Brooke: Who's that? 160 00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:55,959 A homie of mine. 161 00:07:56,041 --> 00:07:59,500 She's kinda like my only LA friend, but she, uh... 162 00:07:59,583 --> 00:08:02,000 And that's her prescription? 163 00:08:05,208 --> 00:08:06,542 Yeah. 164 00:08:07,542 --> 00:08:09,458 She was... 165 00:08:09,542 --> 00:08:12,166 She got Baker Acted a couple months ago. 166 00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:14,583 She was walking barefoot from Crenshaw to Santa Monica. 167 00:08:14,667 --> 00:08:16,709 They found her by the pier with glass in her feet. 168 00:08:16,792 --> 00:08:18,500 She spent... 169 00:08:18,583 --> 00:08:20,667 10 days at USC Medical. 170 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,125 They had her on fucking everything, 171 00:08:22,208 --> 00:08:24,583 but she saved the lithium for me. 172 00:08:24,667 --> 00:08:26,750 I have to point out that's illegal. 173 00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:29,834 Just... 174 00:08:29,917 --> 00:08:31,834 For future reference, I'd be careful. 175 00:08:31,917 --> 00:08:32,875 Eladio: Careful? 176 00:08:32,959 --> 00:08:34,417 I'm trying to survive. 177 00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:36,125 This is me being careful. 178 00:08:36,208 --> 00:08:39,583 Brooke: Well, what if your friend needed the lithium for herself? 179 00:08:43,625 --> 00:08:45,000 Seems like you have an ability 180 00:08:45,083 --> 00:08:47,208 to get people to go out on a limb for you. 181 00:08:47,291 --> 00:08:49,333 I go out on a limb for people, too, dog. 182 00:08:49,417 --> 00:08:51,583 Not saying it's a bad quality to have. 183 00:08:51,667 --> 00:08:53,041 Then what are you trying to say? 184 00:08:53,125 --> 00:08:54,625 That... 185 00:08:56,125 --> 00:08:57,792 That's a good friend. 186 00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:02,458 Yeah, we haven't talked in a while. 187 00:09:03,959 --> 00:09:05,417 I miss her. 188 00:09:06,792 --> 00:09:07,959 Brooke: The lithium? 189 00:09:09,041 --> 00:09:11,458 Eladio? When you take it, 190 00:09:12,375 --> 00:09:14,500 how does it make you feel? 191 00:09:16,458 --> 00:09:19,333 Well, it kinda just takes the edge off. 192 00:09:19,417 --> 00:09:21,375 Turns the volume down. 193 00:09:21,458 --> 00:09:24,750 Brooke: And what specifically needs turning down? 194 00:09:26,542 --> 00:09:29,542 I don't know. Life? 195 00:09:29,625 --> 00:09:32,500 Life shouldn't be something that you have to mute. 196 00:09:33,959 --> 00:09:36,083 Look, I... 197 00:09:36,166 --> 00:09:38,375 I know what you're gettin' at. 198 00:09:39,542 --> 00:09:42,083 Look, life is... 199 00:09:42,166 --> 00:09:43,792 it's life. 200 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:45,917 Right? Like... 201 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,041 this house is big, 202 00:09:48,125 --> 00:09:50,333 right? Eight bedrooms, a pool, a lawn, 203 00:09:50,417 --> 00:09:53,125 the whole thing, but no house is big enough. 204 00:09:53,917 --> 00:09:55,542 Brooke: Meaning? 205 00:09:56,667 --> 00:09:58,333 All families have their shit. 206 00:09:58,417 --> 00:10:01,083 It's a lot, living with the DeMarcos? 207 00:10:01,166 --> 00:10:03,625 Why do you say it like that? Like, there's a edge 208 00:10:03,709 --> 00:10:06,291 to your voice when you talk about them. 209 00:10:06,375 --> 00:10:07,917 Is there? 210 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,166 Nah, you know what you doing. 211 00:10:10,917 --> 00:10:12,375 (scoffs) 212 00:10:12,458 --> 00:10:14,709 Brooke: E-Eladio, I'm afraid you're accusing me 213 00:10:14,792 --> 00:10:17,041 of something I don't quite understand. 214 00:10:19,333 --> 00:10:22,125 Yo, I don't know if you're trying to play me, 215 00:10:22,208 --> 00:10:24,542 or if I'm... (sighs) 216 00:10:27,583 --> 00:10:29,625 You're not from Los Angeles. 217 00:10:29,709 --> 00:10:33,750 So how did you come to work for the DeMarcos? 218 00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:36,959 I used to work at a Thai restaurant in North Hollywood. 219 00:10:37,041 --> 00:10:40,000 Before I dropped out of Cal State, I was fuckin'... 220 00:10:40,083 --> 00:10:43,083 -(scoffs) -And was that before or after Sikander? 221 00:10:43,166 --> 00:10:45,709 After. Way after. 222 00:10:46,667 --> 00:10:48,834 I was... (scoffs) 223 00:10:51,709 --> 00:10:53,917 I was in a bad place. 224 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,208 (groans) And, uh... 225 00:10:56,291 --> 00:10:58,834 you know, loneliness... 226 00:10:58,917 --> 00:11:02,125 It has its own character in different cities. 227 00:11:02,208 --> 00:11:04,208 I mean, Tampa was depressing, 228 00:11:04,291 --> 00:11:05,834 but it was familiar. 229 00:11:05,917 --> 00:11:10,166 New York, there's like a romance to it. But LA? 230 00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:12,875 It's like living on the fucking moon. 231 00:11:12,959 --> 00:11:14,542 You're not wrong. 232 00:11:14,625 --> 00:11:15,959 I had a car. 233 00:11:16,041 --> 00:11:18,417 I was living in a fuckin' nothing apartment 234 00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:20,417 in Van Nuys with a water stain on the ceiling 235 00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:22,750 that looked like the Wu-Tang logo. 236 00:11:22,834 --> 00:11:25,458 I was barely going to class. 237 00:11:25,542 --> 00:11:27,125 But I didn't miss work. 238 00:11:27,208 --> 00:11:29,834 -Mm. -It was the only thing that kept me grounded. 239 00:11:29,917 --> 00:11:33,125 And I wasn't a good waiter, but Supames and her mom, they liked me. 240 00:11:33,208 --> 00:11:35,750 -They were nice to me. -Who's that? 241 00:11:35,834 --> 00:11:37,667 Supames is the owner's daughter. 242 00:11:37,750 --> 00:11:39,250 She's a little older than me. 243 00:11:39,333 --> 00:11:42,000 Her mom, she would cook, and she didn't speak a ton of English, 244 00:11:42,083 --> 00:11:44,041 so Supames kinda ran the place. 245 00:11:44,125 --> 00:11:46,500 That's where I met the DeMarcos. They used to come in. 246 00:11:46,583 --> 00:11:49,208 To a Thai restaurant in North Hollywood? 247 00:11:49,291 --> 00:11:51,041 Eladio: (scoffs) Yeah, yo. 248 00:11:51,125 --> 00:11:53,375 All these wealthy foodies used to make the trek 249 00:11:53,458 --> 00:11:55,208 out to bum-fuck 'cause it made some 250 00:11:55,291 --> 00:11:57,333 pretentious list of some kind. 251 00:11:57,417 --> 00:12:00,208 And 'cause the shit was good. 252 00:12:00,291 --> 00:12:03,208 Mr. DeMarco, he was kinda quiet. 253 00:12:03,291 --> 00:12:05,583 -I don't think he liked the food. -(laughs) 254 00:12:05,667 --> 00:12:08,667 He has a sensitive stomach. But Mrs. DeMarco? 255 00:12:08,750 --> 00:12:12,208 She would let her fuckin' hair down. 256 00:12:12,291 --> 00:12:14,834 Yo, I'm talking, yo, she knew how to order, too. 257 00:12:14,917 --> 00:12:17,917 Fucking Thai basil mojitos and shit. 258 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,417 (Brooke laughs) 259 00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:22,083 Yo, White people are fuckin' wild, yo. 260 00:12:22,166 --> 00:12:24,250 Mrs. DeMarco, when she got really drunk, 261 00:12:24,333 --> 00:12:26,041 they had this little, I mean, 262 00:12:26,125 --> 00:12:28,333 nothing stereo system from RadioShack, 263 00:12:28,417 --> 00:12:29,917 and she'd start requesting songs. 264 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,125 And keep in mind, there are other people there. 265 00:12:32,208 --> 00:12:34,333 -(laughs) -Like, this is a hole-in-the-wall, 266 00:12:34,417 --> 00:12:38,333 folded-up-paper-plates- under-the-table-legs place. 267 00:12:38,417 --> 00:12:41,041 But Supames, she'd roll with it. 268 00:12:41,125 --> 00:12:43,667 And it was always Bon Jovi. 269 00:12:43,750 --> 00:12:45,667 And I didn't know shit about Bon Jovi at the time, 270 00:12:45,750 --> 00:12:47,083 but she put me on. 271 00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:48,792 You didn't know about Bon Jovi? 272 00:12:48,875 --> 00:12:49,709 Well, 273 00:12:49,792 --> 00:12:51,875 I used to, uh, stay with my aunts 274 00:12:51,959 --> 00:12:53,375 in Queens every summer. 275 00:12:53,458 --> 00:12:54,875 -Mm. -And, for two weeks, 276 00:12:54,959 --> 00:12:57,417 they would send me to this camp in Bear Mountain. 277 00:12:57,500 --> 00:12:58,500 And it was mainly 278 00:12:58,583 --> 00:13:00,667 I-ties and Greeks. 279 00:13:00,750 --> 00:13:02,333 Brooke: I-ties? 280 00:13:02,417 --> 00:13:04,083 Yeah, like, fucking guidos and shit. 281 00:13:05,875 --> 00:13:08,750 -One day, they started singing this song. -Who? 282 00:13:08,834 --> 00:13:10,458 You know, the campers. 283 00:13:10,542 --> 00:13:12,875 But, like, all at the same time, yo. 284 00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,333 And I'm sure you can appreciate 285 00:13:14,417 --> 00:13:16,458 w-when white people start performing 286 00:13:16,542 --> 00:13:18,750 -any sort of ritual and you not hip to it. -(laughs) 287 00:13:18,834 --> 00:13:20,083 I thought they were gonna sacrifice me 288 00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:22,208 to the fucking sun gods, yo. I-- 289 00:13:22,291 --> 00:13:24,417 Me and this one Black kid looking at each other like, 290 00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:27,125 "Yo, what are we gonna do?" 291 00:13:27,208 --> 00:13:29,125 -(laughs) -These motherfuckers out here like, 292 00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:32,792 (loud whisper singing): "Ho! We're halfway there! 293 00:13:32,875 --> 00:13:34,291 "Whoa! 294 00:13:34,375 --> 00:13:36,291 Living on a prayer!" 295 00:13:36,375 --> 00:13:38,709 Yo, shit was crazy. 296 00:13:38,792 --> 00:13:41,917 But it wasn't until Mrs. D requested the song that night 297 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,625 that I heard it with instruments. 298 00:13:44,709 --> 00:13:47,250 -(laughs) -You know, I known it only as this a cappella 299 00:13:47,333 --> 00:13:49,375 Anglo-Saxon folk anthem. 300 00:13:49,458 --> 00:13:52,792 (laughs) I have a soft spot for Bon Jovi, so... 301 00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:56,125 Oh no. Like, low-key, that shit slaps. Honestly. 302 00:13:56,875 --> 00:13:58,709 Anyway... 303 00:13:58,792 --> 00:14:00,875 Uh, sometimes, if the DeMarcos stay late, 304 00:14:00,959 --> 00:14:02,667 I stay and have a drink. 305 00:14:02,750 --> 00:14:05,041 And, uh, me and Jeremy, 306 00:14:05,125 --> 00:14:07,959 we got along. We're the same age. 307 00:14:08,458 --> 00:14:10,959 Oh. 308 00:14:11,041 --> 00:14:13,083 I had the idea he was younger somehow. 309 00:14:18,917 --> 00:14:20,583 Did I say something wrong? 310 00:14:22,166 --> 00:14:24,000 Eladio: Nah... 311 00:14:24,083 --> 00:14:25,959 I just feel bad about that. 312 00:14:26,959 --> 00:14:29,208 What? 313 00:14:29,291 --> 00:14:31,709 Well, because I gave you that impression. 314 00:14:31,792 --> 00:14:33,792 He's a grown man. They... 315 00:14:34,792 --> 00:14:36,166 infantilize him. 316 00:14:37,375 --> 00:14:38,500 His parents? 317 00:14:40,417 --> 00:14:42,458 Yo! (scoffs) 318 00:14:42,542 --> 00:14:44,458 Why do you always try to get me 319 00:14:44,542 --> 00:14:46,208 to say something bad about them? 320 00:14:46,291 --> 00:14:50,000 -I'm just going off the information you give me. -Nah. 321 00:14:50,083 --> 00:14:52,250 Nah, you have an agenda. 322 00:14:53,083 --> 00:14:55,208 Look... 323 00:14:55,291 --> 00:14:57,917 everyone's got it hard. 324 00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,709 Alright, these people, 325 00:14:59,792 --> 00:15:01,208 it's not easy being them. 326 00:15:01,291 --> 00:15:03,208 They do infantilize him though, 327 00:15:03,291 --> 00:15:05,083 but then it's not just them. 328 00:15:05,166 --> 00:15:07,250 I used to take Jeremy to camp, and these motherfuckers would 329 00:15:07,333 --> 00:15:10,417 just plop him down in front of the TV and put on "Peter Pan." 330 00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:13,667 And I'm like, this dude has a physical disability! 331 00:15:13,750 --> 00:15:16,000 It's not an intellectual anything! 332 00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:19,000 He's... he's a guy who's lonely! (sighs) 333 00:15:24,542 --> 00:15:27,208 A... and it makes me sad. 334 00:15:28,583 --> 00:15:31,750 All he does all day long is watch these long-ass 335 00:15:31,834 --> 00:15:33,250 compilations on YouTube 336 00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:36,417 of every love scene from every movie ever. 337 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:39,250 Like Keira Knightley and Andrew Lincoln in "Love Actually." 338 00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:43,083 Mandy Moore and the other guy in "A Walk to Remember." 339 00:15:43,166 --> 00:15:45,083 Leonardo DiCaprio in "Titanic," 340 00:15:45,166 --> 00:15:48,291 staring off into the ocean, and what's-her-face pulling up like, 341 00:15:48,375 --> 00:15:50,375 "Hello, Jack. I changed my mind." 342 00:15:50,458 --> 00:15:54,208 And the bagpipes or whatever start playing like... 343 00:15:55,792 --> 00:15:57,583 That's not a guy, 344 00:15:57,667 --> 00:15:59,208 right, th-th-that's not a man 345 00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:01,792 who doesn't understand his situation. 346 00:16:01,875 --> 00:16:03,500 That's a man who's lonely. 347 00:16:05,542 --> 00:16:07,959 And do you find a... 348 00:16:08,041 --> 00:16:10,834 fellow traveler in the loneliness? 349 00:16:11,458 --> 00:16:12,542 (sucks teeth) 350 00:16:12,625 --> 00:16:14,875 Look, if I'm lonely, it's, it's my fault. 351 00:16:16,333 --> 00:16:18,709 I don't think his loneliness is his fault. 352 00:16:22,542 --> 00:16:23,792 So, 353 00:16:23,875 --> 00:16:25,792 you meet these people in a restaurant, 354 00:16:25,875 --> 00:16:28,583 and, suddenly, they take you home? 355 00:16:28,667 --> 00:16:30,333 You make it sound weird. 356 00:16:31,542 --> 00:16:33,000 She said I was good with him. 357 00:16:33,083 --> 00:16:34,959 And what does that mean, "good with him"? 358 00:16:35,041 --> 00:16:37,208 In a medical capacity? 359 00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:42,875 I mean, I make sure he takes his meds, 360 00:16:42,959 --> 00:16:44,166 but no. 361 00:16:44,250 --> 00:16:46,500 I'm not a qualified anything. 362 00:16:46,583 --> 00:16:48,166 I don't have a license. 363 00:16:48,250 --> 00:16:50,417 Really, you don't need a license to wipe someone's ass 364 00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:52,166 and put them in the bath. 365 00:16:52,250 --> 00:16:53,917 But, it-it's more than that. 366 00:16:54,458 --> 00:16:55,583 How so? 367 00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:00,959 They-they let me into their home. 368 00:17:01,041 --> 00:17:04,625 They bought me a red cashmere sweater for Christmas last year. 369 00:17:09,041 --> 00:17:10,917 What? 370 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:14,125 Having a hard time picturing you in a red cashmere sweater. 371 00:17:14,208 --> 00:17:15,792 (laughs) 372 00:17:18,083 --> 00:17:20,834 Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it was ridiculous. 373 00:17:20,917 --> 00:17:23,250 -I looked like the Kool-Aid Man. -(soft laugh) 374 00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:25,542 I sold that shit for, like, 60 bucks at Buffalo Exchange, 375 00:17:25,625 --> 00:17:28,250 but... it was sweet. 376 00:17:28,333 --> 00:17:30,542 -You spend Christmas with them? -Yeah. 377 00:17:30,625 --> 00:17:33,500 I make hot chocolate like the way my aunts used to do. 378 00:17:33,583 --> 00:17:35,542 -Hm. -You ever had Colombian hot chocolate? 379 00:17:35,625 --> 00:17:37,542 -No. -I don't know if you'd like it. 380 00:17:37,625 --> 00:17:39,500 It's, like, it's thick. 381 00:17:40,333 --> 00:17:42,291 It's like pudding almost. 382 00:17:42,375 --> 00:17:43,750 It takes forever to make, 383 00:17:43,834 --> 00:17:46,375 and you get carpal tunnel doing it, 384 00:17:46,458 --> 00:17:47,959 but after you're done... 385 00:17:48,041 --> 00:17:50,208 you put the mozzarella cheese in there 386 00:17:50,291 --> 00:17:52,417 and it soaks up all the chocolate... 387 00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:54,834 Sounds kinda nasty, but, 388 00:17:54,917 --> 00:17:56,417 you know, the cheese doesn't have a flavor, 389 00:17:56,500 --> 00:17:58,166 so it just becomes this... 390 00:17:59,166 --> 00:18:00,291 (sighs) 391 00:18:01,917 --> 00:18:04,291 Why am I talking about hot chocolate? 392 00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:05,834 (scoffs) Like... 393 00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:08,291 My mom, 394 00:18:08,375 --> 00:18:09,834 she was cold. 395 00:18:10,458 --> 00:18:13,000 Okay? 396 00:18:13,083 --> 00:18:14,875 It was like she was scared of me 397 00:18:14,959 --> 00:18:16,917 or she resented me for not being 398 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,333 the daughter that she always wanted. 399 00:18:19,417 --> 00:18:21,750 And my dad? Well, I never met him. 400 00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:24,542 So, Mrs. DeMarco, she can be hot-headed, 401 00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:26,291 of-- yeah, but... 402 00:18:27,875 --> 00:18:30,208 (scoffs) Yo, you know what? 403 00:18:30,291 --> 00:18:31,500 You don't know what you're doing. 404 00:18:32,750 --> 00:18:34,291 You really fuckin' don't. 405 00:18:34,375 --> 00:18:37,000 What am-- What am I doing, Eladio? 406 00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:39,500 You're right about them! 407 00:18:39,583 --> 00:18:43,125 Okay? Is that what you wanna hear? 408 00:18:43,208 --> 00:18:45,125 But you don't understand the consequences 409 00:18:45,208 --> 00:18:46,542 of you being right. 410 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:49,875 I have no agenda other than curiosity. 411 00:18:49,959 --> 00:18:51,125 C'mon, man. Ever-- 412 00:18:51,208 --> 00:18:52,792 Ever since I met you, you've been trying to get me 413 00:18:52,875 --> 00:18:54,417 to unpack my feelings about the DeMarcos, 414 00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:56,125 about Mrs. DeMarco, 415 00:18:56,208 --> 00:18:58,250 about Jeremy, about my fuckin' job, and-- 416 00:18:58,333 --> 00:19:00,291 -Is-is that wrong? -Yo, 417 00:19:00,375 --> 00:19:02,250 I'm not stupid! 418 00:19:02,333 --> 00:19:04,458 Alright, I know what the fuck you've been hinting at, 419 00:19:04,542 --> 00:19:05,959 and you're right. 420 00:19:06,041 --> 00:19:09,166 Of course you're right! You're the one with the fuckin' PhD! 421 00:19:09,250 --> 00:19:11,542 I'm not questioning your intelligence. Never. 422 00:19:11,625 --> 00:19:14,917 I defer to it, but you wield it recklessly. 423 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,125 Like, my life in this house is predicated 424 00:19:17,208 --> 00:19:18,625 on a fiction. I know that. 425 00:19:18,709 --> 00:19:21,834 I know I'm not their friend. I'm the help. 426 00:19:21,917 --> 00:19:23,625 I'm both indispensable 427 00:19:23,709 --> 00:19:26,166 and as replaceable as a fuckin' Hefty bag! 428 00:19:26,250 --> 00:19:29,792 I'm a tool. They didn't volunteer to pay for my therapy 429 00:19:29,875 --> 00:19:31,291 because they care about my mental health! 430 00:19:31,375 --> 00:19:33,667 Fuck outta here! They care whether I sleep 431 00:19:33,750 --> 00:19:35,375 or don't sleep, live or fucking die, 432 00:19:35,458 --> 00:19:38,208 insofar as it affects my ability to take care of their son! 433 00:19:38,291 --> 00:19:41,208 My investment in him, my insistence 434 00:19:41,291 --> 00:19:43,208 that he continue to try to feed himself 435 00:19:43,291 --> 00:19:44,792 so that his muscles don't atrophy 436 00:19:44,875 --> 00:19:46,291 and his skills don't lapse, 437 00:19:46,375 --> 00:19:47,917 my attention to detail 438 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:51,083 in regards to not letting him walk around like a asshole 439 00:19:51,166 --> 00:19:53,166 with unwiped mustard on his face, 440 00:19:53,250 --> 00:19:56,500 that's extra. That's just me. 441 00:19:56,583 --> 00:19:58,583 Right, because, yo, real shit? 442 00:19:58,667 --> 00:20:01,208 If Jeremy didn't have this disease, he'd be my fuckin' enemy! 443 00:20:01,291 --> 00:20:04,583 The guy's a fuckin' transphobic, Reagan Republican 444 00:20:04,667 --> 00:20:07,458 who just so happens to be in a wheelchair! 445 00:20:07,542 --> 00:20:09,667 I have a cousin who was born just like him! 446 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:12,834 I mean, maybe not the exact same shit but close, and guess what? 447 00:20:12,917 --> 00:20:15,041 She lived till about maybe 5 years old. 448 00:20:15,125 --> 00:20:16,834 'Cause her parents were working in 449 00:20:16,917 --> 00:20:19,542 the fuckin' emerald mines in Boyacá, and didn't have enough money 450 00:20:19,625 --> 00:20:21,250 to pay for some fuckin' guy to live with them 451 00:20:21,333 --> 00:20:22,917 and do their parenting for them! So, yeah! 452 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,375 When I think about that, it makes me shake! 453 00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:28,125 Like, I'm shaking right now just talking to you about it! 454 00:20:28,208 --> 00:20:31,041 But if I shake, I can't do my job, and if I can't do my job, 455 00:20:31,125 --> 00:20:33,709 I don't eat 'cause I'm not good at anything else! 456 00:20:33,792 --> 00:20:36,333 (scoffs) So, just... 457 00:20:36,417 --> 00:20:39,709 If you-- if you wanna talk about whatever, 458 00:20:39,792 --> 00:20:41,375 right? From now on, you wanna talk 459 00:20:41,458 --> 00:20:43,625 about whatever, you wanna talk about my mom, my fucking ex, 460 00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:46,875 my... I'm down! But do me a favor, 461 00:20:46,959 --> 00:20:48,750 and let's just put an embargo 462 00:20:48,834 --> 00:20:51,417 on this particular topic, okay? 463 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,208 With all due respect! 464 00:20:58,959 --> 00:21:00,041 (sighs) 465 00:21:06,250 --> 00:21:08,959 That's a lot of anger, Eladio. 466 00:21:10,333 --> 00:21:13,208 A lot of justifiable anger. 467 00:21:16,083 --> 00:21:19,333 You've a right to your feelings, all of them. 468 00:21:22,959 --> 00:21:24,583 And I hear you. 469 00:21:26,959 --> 00:21:28,667 Do you know that I hear you? 470 00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:34,542 Look... 471 00:21:34,625 --> 00:21:36,750 We're not gonna solve white people today, 472 00:21:36,834 --> 00:21:39,875 we're not gonna solve capitalism today, 473 00:21:39,959 --> 00:21:42,333 but we can talk about the situation 474 00:21:42,417 --> 00:21:45,166 that stirs these feelings up in you. 475 00:21:46,250 --> 00:21:47,792 (sighs) 476 00:21:47,875 --> 00:21:50,166 I'm fucking good at my job, man. I'm... 477 00:21:50,250 --> 00:21:52,458 I'm so fucking good at it. 478 00:21:52,542 --> 00:21:54,166 I can see that. 479 00:21:56,291 --> 00:21:58,709 But these motherfuckers, yo. 480 00:21:58,792 --> 00:22:00,625 I work for him! 481 00:22:00,709 --> 00:22:02,625 I don't work for them! 482 00:22:02,709 --> 00:22:04,291 I'm not-- I'm not the fuckin' pool boy. 483 00:22:04,375 --> 00:22:06,917 I-I don't work for Comcast. I'm not the f-- 484 00:22:08,375 --> 00:22:10,041 Twelve bucks an hour. 485 00:22:11,375 --> 00:22:14,834 No benefits, no nothing. 486 00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:16,834 When they offered to pay for my therapy, and I found out 487 00:22:16,917 --> 00:22:20,083 how much you charge, I thought maybe I should just... 488 00:22:20,166 --> 00:22:21,875 Brooke: Ask for the money. 489 00:22:23,041 --> 00:22:24,709 So why didn't you? 490 00:22:26,583 --> 00:22:28,250 'Cause I'm in pain. 491 00:22:29,709 --> 00:22:31,417 What else was I gonna do? 492 00:22:33,542 --> 00:22:34,667 (scoffs) 493 00:22:34,750 --> 00:22:36,542 The funny shit is, man, I could make more money 494 00:22:36,625 --> 00:22:39,417 working at Baskin fuckin' Robbins than I do here. 495 00:22:40,792 --> 00:22:42,291 Why don't you? 496 00:22:43,750 --> 00:22:44,875 Why... 497 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,083 Why do you stay? 498 00:22:52,834 --> 00:22:54,291 Dude, what? 499 00:22:55,041 --> 00:22:56,625 Because of Jeremy. 500 00:22:56,709 --> 00:22:58,709 But you said if Jeremy weren't in a wheelchair, 501 00:22:58,792 --> 00:23:00,125 he'd be your enemy. 502 00:23:00,959 --> 00:23:02,834 I know what I said, 503 00:23:02,917 --> 00:23:05,625 but that's not really fair. 504 00:23:05,709 --> 00:23:07,709 He matters to me. 505 00:23:07,792 --> 00:23:11,125 So it fuckin' matters to me how he's being perceived. 506 00:23:12,792 --> 00:23:15,875 It's just you and me in here, Eladio. There's no jury. 507 00:23:15,959 --> 00:23:17,208 Which is even worse 508 00:23:17,291 --> 00:23:19,417 because he's not even here to defend himself! 509 00:23:19,500 --> 00:23:21,583 And you riling me up, always trying to get me to say 510 00:23:21,667 --> 00:23:22,792 some shit about dude! 511 00:23:22,875 --> 00:23:25,083 I'm not trying to get you to do anything. 512 00:23:25,166 --> 00:23:26,375 You are! 513 00:23:26,458 --> 00:23:28,834 Yes! You are! (scoffs) 514 00:23:28,917 --> 00:23:30,959 Like, and he's already got enough on his fuckin' plate, yo! 515 00:23:31,041 --> 00:23:33,375 He doesn't need me going behind his back and 516 00:23:33,458 --> 00:23:36,166 fuckin'... (sighs) 517 00:23:36,250 --> 00:23:37,792 (doorbell rings) 518 00:23:37,875 --> 00:23:39,417 What happened? 519 00:23:39,500 --> 00:23:41,375 I am so sorry. We went over, 520 00:23:41,458 --> 00:23:43,667 -and-and my next patient is here, and I-- -Okay. 521 00:23:43,750 --> 00:23:45,583 -My bad. -No, no, no, no, no. It's-- No. 522 00:23:45,667 --> 00:23:48,000 No worries at all. Um... 523 00:23:48,083 --> 00:23:49,667 I pride myself on my sixth sense 524 00:23:49,750 --> 00:23:52,667 when it comes to session length, so this is very... 525 00:23:53,166 --> 00:23:54,583 (sighs) 526 00:23:54,667 --> 00:23:57,625 Do you have extra time later today to talk? 527 00:23:57,709 --> 00:24:00,250 Dog, Mrs. DeMarco is already out of pocket. 528 00:24:00,333 --> 00:24:01,709 She ain't gonna pay for more time. 529 00:24:01,792 --> 00:24:04,291 No, no. It's not about the money. I'll just... 530 00:24:04,375 --> 00:24:05,542 check in later to make sure 531 00:24:05,625 --> 00:24:07,917 you're in a less emotional place. 532 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:09,667 Emotional? 533 00:24:09,750 --> 00:24:11,333 I'm not emotional. 534 00:24:12,208 --> 00:24:13,709 I'm good. 535 00:24:14,667 --> 00:24:15,917 Just go. You good. 536 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,500 -(doorbell rings) -Okay. 537 00:24:19,709 --> 00:24:22,417 -What? -Same time next week? 538 00:24:22,500 --> 00:24:25,250 -Why you being like that? -I'm not being like anything, Eladio. 539 00:24:25,333 --> 00:24:27,417 If you change your mind, text me. 540 00:24:29,417 --> 00:24:32,583 (light piano music playing) 541 00:24:39,959 --> 00:24:43,041 ♪ ♪ 542 00:25:09,500 --> 00:25:12,583 ♪ ♪ 543 00:25:39,542 --> 00:25:42,625 ♪ ♪ 544 00:25:59,333 --> 00:26:00,875 ELADIO: You asked me why I stay, and I said "Jeremy." 545 00:26:00,959 --> 00:26:02,500 And I don't feel like you get it. 546 00:26:02,792 --> 00:26:03,959 BROOKE TAYLOR: So make me get it. 547 00:26:04,250 --> 00:26:06,250 ELADIO: Ever since I started working here, he's become... 548 00:26:06,500 --> 00:26:07,458 my life. 549 00:26:10,792 --> 00:26:12,750 When did that become true? 550 00:26:13,333 --> 00:26:14,208 What do you mean? 551 00:26:14,542 --> 00:26:16,667 There had to be a moment where things shifted, no? 552 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,083 When the patient goes from simply being work, 553 00:26:20,166 --> 00:26:21,458 to something more. 554 00:26:22,500 --> 00:26:23,375 Like us.