1
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,309
DEPORTED?

2
00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:09,277
THAT'S RIGHT.

3
00:00:09,377 --> 00:00:11,512
- BUT--
- THERE ARE NO BUTS.

4
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:13,681
IT'S THE I.N.S.

5
00:00:13,781 --> 00:00:15,816
HE'S GOT BROWN SKIN.

6
00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:18,719
HE'S BEEN ACCUSED
OF A VIOLENT CRIME.
HE'S GOING.

7
00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:22,423
DO YOU KNOW WHY
HE WAS ARRESTED,
WHAT HE WAS CHARGED--?

8
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,193
HE WAS ARRESTED
BECAUSE YOU INSISTED
I CALL JULIA.

9
00:00:25,293 --> 00:00:28,929
SO I CALLED JULIA,
AND SHE CALLED THE POLICE.

10
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,698
THIS OUGHT TO TEACH YOU

11
00:00:30,798 --> 00:00:34,535
TO STAY OUT OF THE BUSINESS
OF SECOND-HAND DIAGNOSIS.

12
00:00:34,635 --> 00:00:38,139
LET QUALIFIED PEOPLE
DO THE WORK INSTEAD.

13
00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:42,110
WHEN YOU TALK
ABOUT QUALIFIED PEOPLE
DOING THIS WORK,

14
00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:43,477
ARE YOU INCLUDING
YOURSELF IN THAT?

15
00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:45,045
ARE YOU SUGGESTING
THAT I'M TO BLAME?

16
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:46,380
I'M NOT SUGGESTING
ANYTHING.

17
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,549
BECAUSE I WOULDN'T
HAVE CALLED IF I--

18
00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:52,086
I UNDERSTAND THAT.
I'M NOT ACCUSING YOU
OF ANYTHING.

19
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:54,088
YOU'VE BEEN TALKING
FOR WEEKS

20
00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:56,324
ABOUT A LOSS
OF PERSPECTIVE,

21
00:00:56,424 --> 00:00:59,360
QUESTIONING THE EFFICACY
OF YOUR PRACTICE,

22
00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:01,295
DOUBTING CERTAIN
DECISIONS.

23
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:02,896
I WAS RIGHT
ABOUT THIS ONE.

24
00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:04,698
BASED ON WHAT YOU
TOLD ME, I FELT

25
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:07,067
THERE WAS A RISK THAT
NEEDED TO BE ADDRESSED.

26
00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:09,603
I'M STILL NOT CLEAR

27
00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:11,905
WHY YOU'RE SO CERTAIN
THE RISK WASN'T REAL.

28
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:15,042
SUNIL JUST TOLD ME FLAT OUT
HE NEVER INTENDED
TO HURT JULIA.

29
00:01:15,143 --> 00:01:17,010
SO THE POLICE CAME
AS HE PLANNED.

30
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:20,514
HE REFUSED
TO SHOW HIS PAPERS,
ALSO AS PLANNED.

31
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:23,284
I MEAN, WHAT PART OF THAT
DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?

32
00:01:23,384 --> 00:01:24,885
YOU'VE BEEN TOLD
BY SUNIL

33
00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:27,321
THAT MUCH OF WHAT
HE SHARED WAS FICTION.
CORRECT?

34
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:28,856
MM-HMM.

35
00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:32,226
YET WHEN HE CLAIMS
THAT HE NEVER INTENDED
TO HURT JULIA--

36
00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:35,363
I'M JUST NOT SURE
HOW YOU'RE DECIDING

37
00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:37,498
WHICH OF THESE STORIES
TO BELIEVE.

38
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,833
- YOU'VE NEVER MET HIM.
- THAT'S TRUE.

39
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,369
AND YOU'VE NEVER
HAD THE EXPERIENCE

40
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:44,138
OF SITTING DOWN
AND SPEAKING WITH HIM.

41
00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:48,342
SEE, I'M TALKING ABOUT
AN INSTINCT THAT I HAD

42
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,444
THAT YOU REFUSE
TO TRUST.

43
00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:54,582
I KNOW SUNIL IS NOT
A DANGEROUS PERSON.

44
00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:58,919
OKAY, LET'S TAKE
EVERYTHING AT FACE VALUE.

45
00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:01,054
EVERYTHING HE SAID
TO YOU THIS WEEK--

46
00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:03,524
WE'LL BELIEVE
IT'S TRUE.

47
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:06,760
THIS IS WHAT HE WANTED--
TO BE SENT HOME
TO CALCUTTA.

48
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:09,163
THAT'S RIGHT.

49
00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:12,333
THEN WHY ARE YOU
SO UPSET?

50
00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:20,874
( theme music playing )

51
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,326
WE'VE DISCUSSED
FOR SOME TIME

52
00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:40,361
YOUR STRONG IDENTIFICATION
WITH SUNIL,

53
00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:44,064
THAT YOU'VE COME TO CARE
ABOUT HIM, RELATE TO HIM.

54
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:47,268
WOULD YOU SAY
THAT'S TRUE?

55
00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:51,805
EVEN TO THINK OF HIM
AS PERHAPS SOMETHING
OF A FRIEND?

56
00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:56,310
DOES IT MAKE YOU ANGRY
TO CONSIDER

57
00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:59,913
THAT YOU MAY HAVE BEEN
BETRAYED BY A FRIEND
IN THIS WAY?

58
00:03:02,816 --> 00:03:06,487
MAY I OFFER ANOTHER
POSSIBLE SOURCE
FOR YOUR ANGER?

59
00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:07,921
SURE.

60
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:11,892
DO YOU THINK ANY
PART OF YOU MIGHT BE
ENVIOUS OF SUNIL?

61
00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:14,628
WHY WOULD I BE
ENVIOUS OF A MAN
WHO'S BEING DEPORTED?

62
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:17,265
BECAUSE HE'S FOUND A WAY
TO CHANGE HIS LIFE

63
00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:20,334
AND YOU HAVEN'T.

64
00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:22,970
I COULD UNDERSTAND YOUR
BEING ENVIOUS OF THAT.

65
00:03:27,475 --> 00:03:29,377
YOU KNOW, ALL WEEK
I'VE BEEN--

66
00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:32,580
I'VE JUST BEEN GOING
OVER AND OVER

67
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:36,116
SUNIL'S TREATMENT
IN MY HEAD, YOU KNOW--

68
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:39,152
WHAT WAS REALLY HAPPENING,
WHAT WAS FANTASY.

69
00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:40,821
EVEN WHEN I'M
WITH OTHER PATIENTS,

70
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:43,457
I'M THINKING ABOUT HIM,
TUNING THEM OUT COMPLETELY.

71
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:46,260
AND WHEN I FORCE
MYSELF TO FOCUS

72
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:49,797
AND ACTUALLY LISTEN
TO WHAT THEY'RE SAYING,

73
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,832
I JUST--

74
00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:56,236
I JUST FIND
MYSELF QUESTIONING
THE WHOLE THING.

75
00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:59,239
HOW DO I REALLY KNOW

76
00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:02,376
THAT WHAT I'M BEING TOLD
ISN'T BULLSHIT?

77
00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:07,315
WHAT AM I BLIND TO
THIS TIME?

78
00:04:07,415 --> 00:04:11,685
THAT'S QUITE A HOPELESS
FEELING YOU'RE DESCRIBING.

79
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:15,055
I GOT A PHONE MESSAGE
THE OTHER DAY

80
00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:17,057
FROM A PROSPECTIVE PATIENT

81
00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:21,729
WHO ASKED ME IF I HAD
ANY FREE APPOINTMENTS
IN MY SCHEDULE.

82
00:04:21,829 --> 00:04:24,298
I HAVEN'T BEEN
ABLE TO GET BACK
TO THAT PERSON YET.

83
00:04:24,398 --> 00:04:27,067
WHY NOT?

84
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:30,771
WHAT WOULD YOU TELL THEM
IF YOU DID?

85
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,340
I DON'T KNOW.

86
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,908
WHAT WOULD YOU WANT
TO TELL THEM?

87
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:36,944
WELL, WHENEVER I THINK
OF MAKING THE CALL,

88
00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:38,746
I CAN ONLY
IMAGINE SAYING

89
00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:42,450
THAT I'M NOT TAKING
ANY NEW PATIENTS.

90
00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:45,786
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO YOU
TO HEAR YOURSELF SAY THAT?

91
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:53,861
DOES IT MEAN YOU'RE
THINKING OF CUTTING BACK
ON YOUR PRACTICE?

92
00:04:57,698 --> 00:05:01,769
ARE YOU THINKING
OF CLOSING IT?

93
00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:13,614
YOU LOOK MORE PREGNANT.

94
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:16,083
I--

95
00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:20,688
YES, I GUESS I AM.

96
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:24,124
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO

97
00:05:24,224 --> 00:05:25,759
WHEN THE BABY
IS BORN?

98
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:29,530
DO YOU PLAN
TO KEEP ON WORKING?

99
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:31,499
I DO.

100
00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:34,267
I'LL TAKE A FEW MONTHS
AT HOME, BUT THEN

101
00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:37,304
YES, I'LL KEEP WORKING.

102
00:05:37,405 --> 00:05:39,607
I WANT TO.

103
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:43,477
AND YOU?

104
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,882
YOU STILL HAVEN'T
ANSWERED MY QUESTION.

105
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:52,620
ARE YOU THINKING
OF CLOSING YOUR PRACTICE?

106
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:54,722
I DON'T KNOW.
IT CAME INTO MY HEAD

107
00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:58,559
WHEN I WAS SITTING ACROSS
FROM JESSE THIS WEEK.

108
00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:02,195
HE TOLD ME HE WAS
QUITTING THERAPY.

109
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:03,564
WHY?

110
00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:05,633
WHY? BECAUSE
HE WAS CONVINCED

111
00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:07,435
THAT HE HAS TO CHOOSE
BETWEEN HIS FATHER AND ME.

112
00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:09,403
AND HE'S CHOSEN
HIS FATHER.

113
00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:11,639
WHAT DID YOU SAY
TO HIM?

114
00:06:11,739 --> 00:06:14,875
I DON'T THINK HE HEARD
ANYTHING I SAID REALLY.

115
00:06:14,975 --> 00:06:19,379
THERE WAS A TIME--
A TIME I USED TO BELIEVE

116
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:23,817
THAT YOU COULD SAY
SOMETHING CLEARLY

117
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:28,656
AND THE OTHER PERSON
WOULD HEAR IT, DIGEST IT,
RESPOND.

118
00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:33,794
I DON'T THINK
I BELIEVE THAT ANYMORE.

119
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:37,164
MAYBE ANY SERIOUS
COMMUNICATION

120
00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:40,133
BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE
IS USELESS.

121
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,970
EVEN WITHOUT
OUTRIGHT LYING,

122
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:47,174
PEOPLE ONLY HEAR WHAT
THEY REALLY WANT TO HEAR

123
00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:50,177
OR WHAT THEY'RE
CAPABLE OF HEARING,

124
00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:52,780
WHICH--
( chuckles )

125
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,782
WHICH OFTEN HAS
VERY LITTLE RESEMBLANCE

126
00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:57,585
TO WHAT WAS
ACTUALLY SAID.

127
00:06:57,685 --> 00:06:59,753
AT THIS MOMENT
EACH OF THESE SETBACKS

128
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:02,089
FEELS LIKE
A TERRIBLE BLOW.

129
00:07:04,692 --> 00:07:09,029
CAN WE TALK ABOUT
WHY THESE LOSSES FEEL
SO DEVASTATING?

130
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:11,064
WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME?

131
00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:13,333
I THINK IT HAS
SOMETHING TO DO

132
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,603
WITH WHAT YOU'VE
DONE REPEATEDLY.

133
00:07:15,703 --> 00:07:19,540
YOU'VE BLURRED BOUNDARIES
WITH YOUR PATIENTS,

134
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:23,076
TREATED THEM AS FRIENDS
OR CHILDREN OR--

135
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,979
AGAIN AND AGAIN
YOU HAVE ALLOWED
YOUR OWN FEELINGS

136
00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:27,848
TO INTERFERE.

137
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:32,319
WHY DO YOU THINK
SUNIL WAS ABLE TO FOOL
YOU SO EASILY?

138
00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:34,688
WHY DO YOU THINK
THAT DECEPTION

139
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:37,090
AFFECTS YOU
SO DEEPLY?

140
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:39,793
TWO WEEKS AGO YOU SAW
JESSE LATE AT NIGHT.

141
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:41,795
NOW YOU'RE
TERRIBLY HURT

142
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:44,197
THAT JESSE'S TURNED
TO HIS FATHER.

143
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,733
IT'S ALL
CONNECTED, PAUL.

144
00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:48,135
IT'S A PATTERN.
IT'S ONE YOU COULD
BREAK IF--

145
00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:50,571
I NEED TO STOP.

146
00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:52,372
YOU-- YOU NEED
TO STOP?

147
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,308
I NEED TO STOP
SEEING PATIENTS.

148
00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:57,077
THAT'S WHAT
YOU'RE TELLING ME.

149
00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:59,246
AND YOU'RE RIGHT.

150
00:07:59,346 --> 00:08:01,749
I'M NOT TELLING YOU
TO DO ANYTHING.

151
00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:04,785
I'M ONLY TRYING
TO GET YOU TO EXAMINE
WHAT MIGHT BE--

152
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:08,488
FINE, IT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN
TELLING YOU THEN,

153
00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:11,258
WHAT I'VE REALLY
KNOWN MYSELF

154
00:08:11,358 --> 00:08:14,394
FOR A VERY LONG TIME.

155
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:17,798
IS THAT REALLY
WHAT YOU WANT?

156
00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:21,669
THERE ARE MANY MANY WAYS
TO MAKE CHANGES, PAUL.

157
00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:24,572
I KNOW THAT.

158
00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:27,608
OKAY.

159
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:29,943
DO YOU KNOW-- IF THIS IS
A REAL POSSIBILITY,

160
00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:33,446
HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT
WHAT MIGHT BE NEXT?

161
00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:35,082
DO I HAVE TO HAVE
A PLAN?

162
00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,350
OF COURSE NOT.

163
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:40,020
JUST--

164
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,521
WHAT?

165
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:44,091
I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST FOUND MYSELF

166
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,660
WONDERING WHAT MY LIFE
WOULD HAVE BEEN

167
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,597
IF I HADN'T GONE DOWN
THIS PATH, YOU KNOW,

168
00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:55,102
IF I HADN'T BECOME
A THERAPIST.

169
00:08:58,138 --> 00:08:59,907
ALL I KNOW IS

170
00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:03,577
THAT I CAN'T SPEND THE NEXT
10 OR 20 YEARS LIKE THIS,

171
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:07,280
LOCKED IN A ROOM,
LISTENING.

172
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,583
IT'S STRIKING
TO HEAR YOU TALK

173
00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:12,019
ABOUT THE NEXT
10 OR 20 YEARS.

174
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:15,522
I MEAN, UP UNTIL NOW
YOU'VE BEEN CONVINCED

175
00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:17,858
YOU ONLY HAD A FRACTION
OF THAT TIME LEFT.

176
00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:19,827
WELL, MAYBE
I'VE BEEN TAKING

177
00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:22,462
WHAT THE DOCTORS
HAVE TOLD ME ABOUT
THE PARKINSON'S

178
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,733
A BIT MORE OBJECTIVELY.

179
00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:30,738
I'M WILLING
TO WAIT AND SEE.

180
00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:34,041
AND MAYBE DURING THAT TIME
I'LL FINALLY FIGURE OUT

181
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:36,877
WHAT IT IS THAT I WANT
FROM MY LIFE.

182
00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:39,780
IS THERE ANYTHING
THAT COMES TO MIND?

183
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:45,285
NOT SPECIFICALLY, NO.

184
00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:47,187
NOTHING AT ALL?

185
00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:56,129
I BROKE UP WITH WENDY.

186
00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:58,365
IT WAS AT THE BREAKFAST
TABLE YESTERDAY.

187
00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:00,533
I HADN'T PLANNED
TO DO IT.

188
00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:02,502
IT JUST SORT OF
CAME OUT.

189
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,505
YOU SEEM SURPRISED.

190
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:06,974
DO I?

191
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:10,577
I GUESS I JUST WANTED
TO FREE MYSELF.

192
00:10:10,678 --> 00:10:13,113
- FREE YOURSELF?
- YES.

193
00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:15,382
FREE YOURSELF
FOR WHAT?

194
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,687
I WAS NEVER IN LOVE
WITH WENDY.

195
00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:22,155
I KNOW THAT.

196
00:10:23,691 --> 00:10:25,693
AND HONESTLY,

197
00:10:26,694 --> 00:10:28,729
I'VE EVEN STARTED
TO WONDER

198
00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:31,832
IF I WAS EVER REALLY
IN LOVE WITH KATE

199
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,670
AND WHETHER LOVE
IS SOMETHING

200
00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:40,040
I'M REALLY CAPABLE OF.

201
00:10:41,909 --> 00:10:44,577
WENDY SAID
SHE WANTED TO TALK

202
00:10:44,678 --> 00:10:47,948
ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP.

203
00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:51,719
AND SHE STARTED TO CRY.

204
00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:55,055
SHE COULDN'T
STOP CRYING.

205
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,524
AND INSIDE I--

206
00:10:57,624 --> 00:11:01,228
I JUST DIDN'T
FEEL ANYTHING.

207
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:05,432
YEAH, I KNEW I SHOULD
HAVE BEEN FEELING SAD

208
00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:10,037
OR AT THE VERY LEAST
GUILTY.

209
00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:13,040
BUT...

210
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:15,008
I KEPT SAYING TO MYSELF,
"SHE'S IN PAIN.

211
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:16,877
SHE'S IN PAIN.
YOU CAN HELP HER."

212
00:11:16,977 --> 00:11:18,678
BUT I COULDN'T MOVE.

213
00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:21,581
I COULDN'T EVEN
TAKE HER HAND.

214
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:24,284
I JUST WANTED HER
TO LEAVE.

215
00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:26,586
TO FREE YOURSELF.

216
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,456
I THINK
UP UNTIL THIS POINT

217
00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:32,926
YOU'VE SOUGHT OUT
RELATIONSHIPS THAT ARE SAFE,

218
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,462
WHERE THE RISK
TO YOURSELF EMOTIONALLY

219
00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:38,598
IS A SMALL ONE.

220
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:42,335
OUTSIDE THE OFFICE
YOU KEEP YOUR DISTANCE.

221
00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:44,838
INSIDE, YOU DO
THE OPPOSITE--

222
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:48,408
YOU OVERINVEST.
YOU SEEK OUT INTIMACY.

223
00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:51,244
BUT WHETHER IT'S WENDY,

224
00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:53,546
KATE, YOUR PATIENTS--

225
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:56,984
THEY'RE ALL
SUBSTITUTES OF A KIND,

226
00:11:57,084 --> 00:12:00,788
ALLOWING YOU TO AVOID
ACTUALLY ENGAGING
IN THE WORLD,

227
00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:03,590
EXPERIENCING LIFE
IN ANY REAL WAY.

228
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,793
I THINK WHAT
YOU'RE TELLING ME

229
00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:09,029
IS THAT YOU'RE READY
TO STOP DOING THIS.

230
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:10,998
ENDING THINGS
WITH WENDY

231
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,733
SOUNDS LIKE A STEP
IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

232
00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:16,236
ENDING YOUR PRACTICE--

233
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:21,108
I'M NOT SURE
THAT'S PRECISELY
THE RIGHT ANSWER.

234
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,210
BUT IT DOES FEEL
RIGHT TO ME

235
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:26,446
TO HEAR YOU TALK ABOUT
FREEING YOURSELF.

236
00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:29,482
I THINK THAT'S
A GOOD DESCRIPTION

237
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,518
OF THE WORK
THAT LIES AHEAD--

238
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:33,954
FOR YOU,
FOR US TOGETHER.

239
00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:36,456
I'M NOT COMING BACK.

240
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:41,494
I'M SORRY.

241
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,496
YOU JUST
TOOK ME TO TASK

242
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:46,633
ON MY UNHEALTHY
RELATIONSHIPS.

243
00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:49,903
DO YOU NOT SEE THIS
AS ONE OF THEM?

244
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:52,672
I-- I DON'T THINK--

245
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,442
I THINK IT'S
ENTIRELY DIFFERENT.

246
00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:56,910
WHY IS THAT?

247
00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:59,079
BECAUSE YOU'RE
MY THERAPIST?

248
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:02,115
BECAUSE WHATEVER'S
BEEN GOING ON BETWEEN US
IS COMPLETELY ROUTINE,

249
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:05,752
A STANDARD CRITICAL PART
OF THE THERAPEUTIC PROCESS?

250
00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:09,056
I THINK YOU'RE AWARE
OF HOW THESE SORTS
OF FEELINGS FUNCTION.

251
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:11,524
TRANSFERENCE,
COUNTERTRANSFERENCE--

252
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,160
JUST GO WITH IT,
GROW FROM IT...

253
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:16,129
- EXPLORE IT AS ILLUMINATING.
- I CAN'T DO THAT.

254
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,367
I'M SORRY.
I JUST CAN'T DO IT.

255
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:23,203
IT'S TOO--

256
00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:27,340
IT'S TOO CONFUSING
FOR ME.

257
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,142
WHY DO YOU FIND IT
SO CONFUSING?

258
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:33,380
BECAUSE I CAN'T TELL
WHAT'S REAL.

259
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,516
HOW CAN I GO ON
SEEING YOU,

260
00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:40,687
LOOKING AT YOU,
KEEP COMING HERE,

261
00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:45,192
WHEN YOU EPITOMIZE
THE CONFLICT?

262
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:48,795
DO YOU NOT SEE THAT?

263
00:13:48,896 --> 00:13:50,998
I'M NOT SURE
THAT I DO.

264
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:55,602
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT
ENDING THERAPY

265
00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:59,106
JUST AS YOU'RE CONTEMPLATING
AN ENORMOUS LIFE DECISION.

266
00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:01,508
I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT
THAT WE'RE CLEAR--

267
00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:03,676
YOU'RE HAVING A BABY.

268
00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:05,212
I AM.

269
00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:09,149
AND I KNOW
THAT THE LIKELIHOOD

270
00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:11,118
IS THAT YOU'RE HAVING
THIS CHILD

271
00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:14,421
WITH SOMEBODY ELSE--
ITS FATHER,

272
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,823
HUSBAND, BOYFRIEND--
GIRLFRIEND FOR ALL I KNOW.

273
00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:20,027
BUT...

274
00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:23,096
I JUST HAVE THIS FEELING

275
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,899
THAT MAY NOT BE
THE CASE.

276
00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:28,268
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOUR STORY IS--

277
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:31,171
WHETHER YOU'RE
WITH SOMEBODY OR NOT.

278
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:34,975
I COULD BE WRONG.
I COULD BE MAKING
A FOOL OF MYSELF.

279
00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:36,743
I COULD BE
OFFENDING YOU.

280
00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:39,579
I COULD BE WILDLY
DELUDED.

281
00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:44,251
BUT SOMETHING TELLS ME
THAT YOU'RE ALONE.

282
00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:52,759
LAST WEEK
YOU IMAGINED

283
00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:55,062
I HAD A HAPPY,
GROWING FAMILY.

284
00:14:55,162 --> 00:14:57,864
YOU THOUGHT I HID
THAT FACT FROM YOU,

285
00:14:57,965 --> 00:14:59,832
AND THAT MADE YOU
VERY ANGRY.

286
00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:01,868
AN NOW YOU'RE
SUGGESTING...

287
00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:04,537
THAT I CAN'T TELL
WHAT THE TRUTH IS.

288
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:09,476
THIS IS YOUR OPPORTUNITY
TO TELL ME IF YOU WANT TO.

289
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:12,379
WHY DO YOU THINK
IT'S SO IMPORTANT FOR YOU
TO KNOW MY SITUATION?

290
00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:16,283
BECAUSE WE COULD GO ON
LIKE THIS FOR YEARS.

291
00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:18,285
IT--

292
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,621
WHAT?

293
00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:26,159
IT'S TOO PAINFUL.

294
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:32,132
I DON'T THINK
THE SOLUTION IS

295
00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:35,702
TO RUN AWAY
FROM WHAT'S HAPPENING
IN THIS ROOM, PAUL,

296
00:15:35,802 --> 00:15:38,905
TO PROTECT YOURSELF
ONCE AGAIN

297
00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:42,042
FROM THE RISK
OF A RELATIONSHIP--

298
00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:46,279
THE CONFUSION,
YES, PAIN

299
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:50,783
THAT CAN SOMETIMES
GO ALONG WITH ONE.

300
00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:52,552
THE WAY
TO CHANGE THAT

301
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:55,022
IS TO FACE THOSE FEELINGS
IN A THERAPEUTIC SETTING.

302
00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:57,757
YOU JUST SAID
"RELATIONSHIP."

303
00:15:57,857 --> 00:16:00,927
BUT THE POINT IS

304
00:16:01,028 --> 00:16:03,997
THAT IT ISN'T ONE.

305
00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:07,600
IT'S BEEN CREATED
IN THIS ROOM

306
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:09,569
BY THE ARTIFICE
OF THERAPY.

307
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:13,040
AND I DON'T KNOW
THAT I BELIEVE IN THAT
ARTIFICE ANYMORE.

308
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:16,376
I CAN'T DISTINGUISH IT
FROM REALITY.

309
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:19,946
YOU'RE SITTING
ACROSS FROM ME,

310
00:16:20,047 --> 00:16:22,182
AND YOU'RE PREGNANT,

311
00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:26,153
AND I STILL THINK
THAT YOU ARE MEANT
TO BE WITH ME.

312
00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:30,423
ISN'T THAT EXACTLY
WHAT I NEED TO STOP DOING,

313
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:32,425
WHAT YOU'VE BEEN
TELLING ME TO CHANGE?

314
00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:36,063
ISN'T IT TIME
THAT I GO OUTSIDE
AND EXPERIENCE REALITY,

315
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:38,131
STEP BEYOND
THE OFFICE DOORS

316
00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:40,667
AND SEE THE DIFFERENCE
FOR MYSELF?

317
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:42,469
YOU CAN EXPERIENCE
THE WORLD

318
00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:45,138
AND STILL COME BACK
HERE EACH WEEK,

319
00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:48,641
TALK ABOUT
THAT EXPERIENCE.

320
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:51,578
I WORRY THAT
IF YOU DON'T,

321
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:55,982
YOU'LL REPEAT THE SAME
PATTERNS YOU'RE TRYING
TO FREE YOURSELF FROM.

322
00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:58,485
WELL, MAYBE THAT'S TRUE.

323
00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:01,254
AND MAYBE IT'S NOT.

324
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:04,491
YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH
SO MUCH IN SUCH A SHORT
AMOUNT OF TIME, PAUL:

325
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:07,927
THE DEATH OF YOUR FATHER,
THE FEAR OF INHERITING
HIS ILLNESS,

326
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,962
THE FUNDAMENTAL
QUESTIONING

327
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:11,964
OF YOUR LIFE'S WORK.

328
00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:14,434
I'M 57 YEARS OLD

329
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,670
AND I'VE LOST MY WAY.

330
00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:22,609
I WANT TO HELP YOU
FIND YOUR WAY AGAIN.

331
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:25,278
DO YOU EVER THINK
ABOUT US BEING TOGETHER?

332
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,114
DO YOU?

333
00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:34,621
I'M NOT IN TREATMENT
WITH YOU ANY LONGER.

334
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,590
YOU CAN ANSWER
THE QUESTION.

335
00:17:44,331 --> 00:17:45,598
WOW.

336
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:50,770
YOU ARE A GOOD THERAPIST.

337
00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:01,581
PAUL, WILL YOU THINK
ABOUT COMING NEXT WEEK?

338
00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:06,653
I CAN'T.
I NEED TO STOP.

339
00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:09,656
I JUST--

340
00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:13,560
I HAVE TO.

341
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,664
GOOD LUCK TO YOU.

342
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:26,273
MY DOOR WILL ALWAYS BE
OPEN TO YOU.

343
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:30,310
WELL, IT'S OKAY.

344
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:32,712
YOU CAN CLOSE IT
BEHIND ME.

345
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:47,720
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