1 00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:09,343 ( crossing bell ringing ) 2 00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:21,489 HI. 3 00:00:25,893 --> 00:00:29,897 THIS IS ROSIE'S-- ROSIE'S BAG 4 00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:32,833 AND I GOT HER THIS SMALL THING. 5 00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:35,269 OH, THAT'S SWEET. THANKS, PAUL. 6 00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:38,272 WELL, I-- I HAVE TO GET BACK. 7 00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,741 I DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE LEAVING THOSE KIDS ALONE-- THEY NEVER STOP FIGHTING. 8 00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:44,212 - OH, WONDER WHERE THEY LEARNED THAT FROM. - ( chuckles ) 9 00:00:45,946 --> 00:00:48,082 - ALL RIGHT THEN. - NO, LET ME GET IT. 10 00:00:49,317 --> 00:00:52,286 - WHERE'S THE CAR? - IT'S JUST OVER HERE. 11 00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:55,323 LISTEN, PAUL, I-- 12 00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:58,192 I'M REALLY SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR FATHER. 13 00:00:58,292 --> 00:01:00,394 I KNOW I'VE ALREADY SAID THAT, BUT-- 14 00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:04,064 I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT YOU CAME TO THE FUNERAL. 15 00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:06,066 I REALLY DO. 16 00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:08,936 AND THAT YOU LET THE KIDS COME FOR THAT WEEKEND. 17 00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:11,239 IT WAS-- IT WAS GREAT. 18 00:01:11,339 --> 00:01:14,475 - THEY DIDN'T DRIVE YOU CRAZY? - UH... 19 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,445 NO, IT FELT GOOD TO BE WITH THEM. 20 00:01:17,545 --> 00:01:19,580 YOU KNOW? LIKE THINGS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE. 21 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:23,284 THEY WANTED TO BE THERE. THEY'RE GOOD KIDS, YOU KNOW? 22 00:01:23,384 --> 00:01:25,953 AND YOU WERE GOOD TO ME TOO, KATE. 23 00:01:26,053 --> 00:01:29,123 WE FELT LIKE-- LIKE A FAMILY. 24 00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:31,659 I FELT IT TOO. 25 00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:35,129 IT'S JUST UNFORTUNATE THAT IT TOOK SUCH A SAD SITUATION-- 26 00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:39,267 THAT'S-- THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO SAY, KATE. 27 00:01:41,135 --> 00:01:44,205 I WANT US TO TRY IT AGAIN-- YOU KNOW, 28 00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:48,276 BEING A FAMILY. I MISS YOU, KATE. 29 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,513 I WANT TO COME HOME. 30 00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:56,484 I LOVE YOU, KATE. 31 00:01:56,584 --> 00:02:00,188 I THINK WE SHOULD GIVE OURSELVES ANOTHER CHANCE. 32 00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:02,723 I KNOW THE KIDS WANT US TO DO IT. 33 00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:05,626 SO DO I. 34 00:02:06,494 --> 00:02:08,662 OH, PAUL. 35 00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:13,267 I'M SEEING SOMEBODY. 36 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:17,004 I MIGHT BE IN LOVE WITH HIM. I DON'T KNOW. 37 00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:19,740 I CAN'T DO THIS AGAIN. I JUST CAN'T. 38 00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:25,679 AND I'M SO SORRY. 39 00:02:28,015 --> 00:02:29,883 ( car door slams ) 40 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:32,186 ( engine starts ) 41 00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:37,191 ( car departs ) 42 00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:40,661 ( theme music playing ) 43 00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:04,518 - PAUL. - HI, GINA. 44 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,888 HOW ARE YOU? 45 00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:09,857 I'M, UH... 46 00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:12,526 I'M OKAY, THANKS. 47 00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:15,663 WOULD YOU LIKE SOME TEA OR SOME WATER? 48 00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:18,866 UH... WATER'LL BE FINE. THANKS. 49 00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:28,642 UH, THANKS FOR THE ORCHID THAT YOU SENT. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. 50 00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:32,380 I'M GLAD YOU LIKED IT. I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT YOU. 51 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,316 IT'S A PITY YOU WEREN'T THERE. 52 00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:39,052 PAUL, I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS MY PLACE TO BE THERE. 53 00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:42,490 YEAH, WELL, IT WAS A NICE SERVICE... 54 00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:47,261 EXCEPT FOR THE PRIEST'S CELL PHONE GOING OFF. 55 00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:51,565 MY KIDS SPOKE. THEY EACH HAD A-- 56 00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:54,067 MEMORY TO TELL. 57 00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:56,570 AND SOME PEOPLE FROM THE NURSING HOME CAME. 58 00:03:56,670 --> 00:04:00,608 THEY TALKED ABOUT HIS CARD PLAYING AND HIS SINGING. 59 00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:02,910 DID YOU EVER HEAR HIM SING WHEN YOU WERE A BOY? 60 00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:04,445 NOT THAT I REMEMBER. 61 00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:07,281 BUT ONE OF THE SURGICAL NURSES SAID THAT, 62 00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:10,250 YOU KNOW, HE USED TO SING IN THE OPERATING ROOM. 63 00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:12,920 "A FINE IRISH TENOR," SHE SAID HE WAS. 64 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:17,257 OF COURSE THERE WAS A LOT OF WOMEN AT THE FUNERAL. 65 00:04:17,358 --> 00:04:19,827 WOMEN REALLY LIKED MY DAD, AS YOU KNOW. 66 00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:24,998 YES, THEN TOO, WOMEN LIVE LONGER THAN MEN 67 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,634 SO WHEN YOU GET TO A CERTAIN AGE, 68 00:04:26,734 --> 00:04:29,737 THERE ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE MORE WOMEN AT FUNERALS. 69 00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:33,240 YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE DECIDED? WOMEN ARE REALLY GOOD AT LOSS. 70 00:04:33,341 --> 00:04:36,377 MEN DON'T REALLY-- THEY HAVEN'T GOT A FUCKING CLUE. 71 00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:40,047 DID YOU GET TO SPEAK TO YOUR FATHER BEFORE HE DIED? 72 00:04:40,147 --> 00:04:42,983 YOU KNOW, FOR MEN 73 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:45,386 LOSS IS-- IT'S A DEFEAT. 74 00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:49,022 IN A GAME OR A FIGHT, 75 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:52,460 LOSING MAKES YOU MAD. YOU WANT TO GET EVEN WITH THE GUY. 76 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:55,563 LIKE THIS MAN WHO'S SUING ME-- ALEX'S FATHER. 77 00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:59,299 THIS GUY IS SO ANGRY THAT ALL HE CAN THINK OF 78 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,234 IS COMING AFTER ME. 79 00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:04,538 - LIKE THAT'S GONNA HELP. - PAUL, ARE YOU TRYING 80 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:07,007 TO UNDERSTAND HOW TO GRIEVE FOR YOUR FATHER? 81 00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:09,076 AMONG OTHER THINGS. 82 00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:11,311 WHAT OTHER THINGS? 83 00:05:11,412 --> 00:05:13,080 ONE OF THE THINGS I'M TRYING TO UNDERSTAND 84 00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:16,517 IS HOW I CAN HELP MY PATIENTS WITH DEATH AND DYING 85 00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:19,487 WHEN I MYSELF HAVE BEEN SO STUPID 86 00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:21,321 AND SO WRONG ABOUT IT. 87 00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:23,591 YOU KNOW, PAUL, IT HASN'T EVEN BEEN TWO WEEKS. 88 00:05:23,691 --> 00:05:26,794 - YOU WON'T ALWAYS FEEL THIS RAW. - WE'LL SEE. 89 00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:29,196 CAN YOU TELL ME MORE ABOUT THE FUNERAL? 90 00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:31,264 I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR PATIENTS NOW, 91 00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:33,100 WHEN YOU'VE JUST BEEN THROUGH THIS. 92 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:36,537 DO YOU NOT THINK IT'S IMPORTANT FOR ME TO TALK ABOUT MY PATIENTS? 93 00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:40,974 HOW AM I GOING TO HELP MY PATIENTS IF MY OWN LIFE IS IN A MESS? 94 00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:43,577 I MEAN, WOULD YOU USE A PLUMBER IF YOU FOUND OUT 95 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:48,081 - THAT ALL THE DRAINS IN HIS HOUSE WERE BLOCKED? - IT'S NOT THE SAME THING. 96 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,384 YOU'RE A TRAINED PSYCHOTHERAPIST. 97 00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:52,386 BUT NOT A TRAINED HUSBAND, FATHER OR SON. 98 00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:53,787 NO, YOU'RE NOT. 99 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:57,591 AS A MAN, YOU'RE LIKE AN ANIMAL IN THE WILD. 100 00:05:57,691 --> 00:06:01,194 YOU'RE LIVING DAY TO DAY, YOU'RE TRYING TO PROTECT YOUR TERRITORY 101 00:06:01,294 --> 00:06:03,664 AND PROVIDE FOR YOUR FAMILY. 102 00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:07,935 AS A THERAPIST, YOU'RE OBSERVING CERTAIN MEMBERS OF THE HERD 103 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,803 THROUGH BINOCULARS. 104 00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:13,040 THESE ARE TWO VERY DIFFERENT WAYS OF EXPERIENCING LIFE. 105 00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:16,944 BUT YOU CAN'T OBSERVE YOURSELF THROUGH YOUR OWN BINOCULARS. 106 00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,812 BUT THAT'S WHY I'M HERE. 107 00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:20,581 RIGHT. 108 00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:24,184 CAN YOU TELL ME MORE ABOUT THE FUNERAL? 109 00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:26,286 OH, GINA, NOT THIS WEEK, PLEASE. 110 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,221 I FEEL LIKE-- 111 00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:30,223 I FEEL PRETTY WIPED OUT. 112 00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:32,159 WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT. 113 00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:34,695 BUT I'M INTERESTED-- YOU KNOW, YOU SAID YOU WERE GLAD 114 00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:36,464 THAT YOUR CHILDREN WERE THERE. 115 00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:39,967 YEAH, I WAS GLAD THAT THE BOYS WERE THERE. 116 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:44,738 MAYBE THEY WON'T BE AS STUPID AS I WAS ABOUT IT ALL. 117 00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:48,408 - STUPID? - I LEARNED MORE ABOUT MY FATHER 118 00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:51,111 AT HIS FUNERAL THAN I EVER DID WHEN HE WAS ALIVE. 119 00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:53,180 DOESN'T THAT SOUND STUPID TO YOU? 120 00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:55,115 WHAT DID YOU LEARN ABOUT HIM? 121 00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:56,750 OH, FOR ONE THING, 122 00:06:56,850 --> 00:07:00,821 I FOUND OUT THAT HE DID A LOT OF FREE SURGERY IN BOLIVIA. 123 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,824 - YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT ABOUT HIM? - NO, OF COURSE I DIDN'T. 124 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:07,060 - AND HE MADE ME EXECUTOR OF HIS ESTATE. - DOES THAT SURPRISE YOU? 125 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:10,698 AND HE GAVE ME HIS HALF OF A LITTLE BREWERY IN MINNESOTA. 126 00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:13,366 HE OWNED A BREWERY IN MINNESOTA? 127 00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:15,368 YEAH, WITH ONE OF HIS DOCTOR FRIENDS. 128 00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:18,271 I GUESS HE LOANED SOME GUY SOME START-UP MONEY 129 00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:19,907 40 YEARS AGO. 130 00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:22,476 SO IF THE LAWSUIT ENDS UP COSTING ME MY LICENSE, 131 00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:25,112 I GUESS I CAN ALWAYS GO MAKE BEER. 132 00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:29,016 YOU SEE WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT? 133 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,085 LIKE, WHO-- 134 00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:33,587 WHO WAS THIS MAN? 135 00:07:33,687 --> 00:07:35,956 ALL I KNEW WAS 136 00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,858 THIS OLD STORY THAT I'VE TOLD YOU-- 137 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,560 THAT HE LEFT US FOR A PATIENT, 138 00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:41,895 MY MOTHER KILLED HERSELF AND I GREW UP ALONE. 139 00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:44,665 YET ALL THESE THINGS ARE STILL TRUE, AREN'T THEY? 140 00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:46,433 HOW THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW? 141 00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:49,236 IF MY FATHER WAS THIS GREAT GUY, 142 00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:51,605 WHY DIDN'T I KNOW IT? 143 00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:55,509 ARE YOU BEGINNING TO THINK HE WAS A GREAT GUY? 144 00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:58,311 EVEN IF HE WASN'T GREAT, AT LEAST HE WAS INTERESTING. 145 00:07:58,411 --> 00:08:00,714 BUT WHAT WAS I? WAS I BLIND? 146 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:04,151 PEOPLE OFTEN CAN BE VERY SUCCESSFUL IN THE OUTSIDE WORLD 147 00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:06,820 AND REMAIN A COMPLETE MYSTERY TO THEIR FAMILIES. 148 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,989 MYSTERY IS PUTTING IT MILDLY, GINA. 149 00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:11,792 I DON'T THINK HE WAS A COMPLETE MYSTERY TO YOU, PAUL. 150 00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:15,295 I THINK AS A BOY, EVEN THOUGH YOU DIDN'T HAVE ALL THE FACTS, 151 00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:18,198 YOU KNEW HE WAS AN INTERESTING MAN. 152 00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:21,168 THAT'S WHY YOU WERE MAD THAT HE WAS NEVER HOME. 153 00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:24,605 MAYBE YOU WANTED TO LIVE WITH HIM INSTEAD OF YOUR MOTHER. 154 00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:27,641 - WELL, WHO WOULDN'T? - IT WASN'T YOUR CHOICE. 155 00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:31,411 PAUL, HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WITH A CHOICE IN YOUR FAMILY. 156 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,882 HE CHOSE HIS WORK, HIS INVESTMENTS, 157 00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:36,550 HIS WOMEN. 158 00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:38,218 THAT HURT YOU. 159 00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:40,888 I WASN'T HURT. I JUST HATED THE SON OF A BITCH. 160 00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:42,990 OH, I THINK THE HATRED GREW 161 00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:45,826 SO YOU COULD PROTECT YOURSELF FROM HIS REJECTION. 162 00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:48,028 I DON'T THINK YOU ALWAYS HATED HIM. 163 00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:57,270 YOU THINK I LOVED HIM? 164 00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,607 I'M SAYING IT WASN'T STUPID OF YOU 165 00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:02,175 NOT TO KNOW ABOUT THESE THINGS. 166 00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:06,513 I MEAN, MAYBE HE DIDN'T WANT TO CALL ATTENTION TO HIS CHARITY WORK. 167 00:09:06,614 --> 00:09:09,216 OR MAYBE HE THOUGHT HIS SINGING WAS SILLY 168 00:09:09,316 --> 00:09:11,184 OR THE BREWERY WAS FRIVOLOUS. 169 00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:14,221 OR MAYBE HE WASN'T HOME ENOUGH TO HAVE ANY CONVERSATION ABOUT ANYTHING. 170 00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:17,825 OR MAYBE BY THE TIME HE GOT READY TO TALK, I DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT. 171 00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:20,628 ALL THESE THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. 172 00:09:20,728 --> 00:09:24,632 DEATH LEAVES A LOT OF UNANSWERED QUESTIONS. 173 00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:31,438 YOU KNOW, NOT EVERYBODY HAS WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A GOOD PARENT. 174 00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:34,474 AND SOMETIMES, AS IN YOUR FATHER'S CASE, 175 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,777 THE CHOICES CAN BE VERY DIFFICULT. 176 00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:39,713 DO YOU GIVE YOURSELF OVER TO YOUR SICK WIFE 177 00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:43,016 AND YOUR ANGRY CHILDREN AND FIGHT A LOSING BATTLE? 178 00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:46,887 OR DO YOU GIVE YOURSELF TO YOUR TALENT 179 00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:49,289 AND HOPE THAT SOMEDAY THEY'LL UNDERSTAND? 180 00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:53,560 SO YOU'RE SAYING HIS HOME LIFE WAS A LOSING BATTLE FOR HIM? 181 00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:56,496 I'M SAYING THAT HE LOOKED AT HIS OPTIONS 182 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:59,099 AND HE FOUGHT THE BATTLE HE THOUGHT HE COULD WIN. 183 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,035 A LESS CHARITABLE VIEW WOULD BE 184 00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:04,705 THAT HE WON THE BATTLE HE CHOSE TO FIGHT. 185 00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:07,675 - THAT'S TRUE. - SO IT WASN'T STUPID OF ME 186 00:10:07,775 --> 00:10:10,610 TO NOT KNOW WHO MY FATHER WAS WHEN I WAS A BOY. 187 00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:15,382 IT WAS STUPID THAT I GOT TO BE THIS OLD 188 00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:18,085 AND STILL DIDN'T KNOW WHO HE WAS. 189 00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:25,392 EVEN SITTING THERE AT THE BEDSIDE IN THE NURSING HOME-- 190 00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:28,729 HE HAD MAYBE FIVE MINUTES TO LIVE. 191 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:34,234 AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IT WAS JUST ME AND HIM TOGETHER. 192 00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:39,206 SICKNESS UNTIL DEATH, AND ALL THAT. 193 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:44,611 ( clears throat ) THE ONLY PERSON 194 00:10:44,712 --> 00:10:48,115 I LEARNED ANYTHING ABOUT WAS ME. 195 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,220 I'M GLAD YOU SAW HIM BEFORE HE DIED. 196 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,689 IT WAS THE STRANGEST THING, YOU KNOW? 197 00:10:55,789 --> 00:11:00,227 EVERYBODY LEFT AND... 198 00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:03,697 I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND SAID GOODBYE TO THEM... 199 00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:07,667 GOT A COFFEE AND I CAME BACK AND HE WAS... 200 00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:10,403 HE WAS ASLEEP. 201 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:12,973 HE, UH... 202 00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:15,642 WELL, HE HAD A PULSE ANYWAY. 203 00:11:15,743 --> 00:11:20,380 AND I SAT DOWN AND I STARTED TALKING TO HIM. 204 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,249 AND... 205 00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:30,991 AND HE DIDN'T HAVE A PULSE ANYMORE. 206 00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:32,793 ( sighs ) 207 00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:37,464 - YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM WHEN HE DIED? - I WAS TALKING AT HIM, GINA. 208 00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:40,567 I SAID... 209 00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:45,105 I'M SORRY AND-- 210 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:50,277 I SAID I WAS SORRY THAT I HADN'T SEEN MORE OF HIM. 211 00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:56,149 I ASKED HIM IF I COULD GET HIM ANYTHING 212 00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,752 AND... 213 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:03,323 THEN I JUST STARTED COMPLAINING ABOUT MY LIFE... 214 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,293 LIKE I ALWAYS DO. 215 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:12,365 I LOOKED UP AND HE WAS... 216 00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:18,338 HE WAS GONE. 217 00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:22,843 DID IT FEEL TO YOU LIKE HE'D BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO COME BACK 218 00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:25,212 TO SEE HIM BEFORE HE DIED? 219 00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:28,048 NO. THAT'S WHAT THE NURSES SAY, BUT-- 220 00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:30,417 THEY SAY THAT THAT HAPPENS A LOT, BUT I DON'T BELIEVE IT. 221 00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:33,086 - I THINK IT'S CRAZY. - NO, NOT REALLY. 222 00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:37,090 ON SOME UNCONSCIOUS LEVEL HE MIGHT HAVE KNOWN IT WAS YOU. 223 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:38,859 OR SENSED IT. 224 00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:42,229 NO. NO, HE DIDN'T. 225 00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:45,165 DIDN'T YOU EVER BECOME SUDDENLY AWARE 226 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:48,101 OF YOUR CHILDREN WITHOUT THEM HAVING SAID ANYTHING? 227 00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:51,604 WITH MAX, I REMEMBER WHEN HE USED TO WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT 228 00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:54,407 AND HE WOULD COME IN TO MY ROOM AND I WOULD JUST WAKE UP. 229 00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:57,144 AND THERE HE WOULD BE STANDING AT THE END OF THE BED, 230 00:12:57,244 --> 00:13:00,347 JUST STARING SILENTLY AT ME. YEAH. 231 00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:03,216 SO EVEN THOUGH MAX HADN'T SAID A THING, 232 00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:04,651 YOU WOKE UP. 233 00:13:04,751 --> 00:13:06,253 YEAH, GREAT. 234 00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:08,355 SO MY FATHER BECOMES AWARE OF ME ON SOME LEVEL 235 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:11,724 AND HE REALLY DOESN'T WANT TO LISTEN TO ME COMPLAIN SO HE JUST DIES. 236 00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:16,096 - HMPH. - OR HE BECOMES AWARE OF YOU ON SOME LEVEL, 237 00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:19,499 AND HE'S FINALLY ABLE TO LET GO. 238 00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,572 I'D LIKE TO BELIEVE YOUR VERSION. 239 00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:27,407 DO YOU BELIEVE IT? 240 00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:30,177 OR ARE YOU JUST SAYING IT TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER? 241 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:34,447 DO I BELIEVE THAT THERE'S SOME NON-SCIENTIFIC CONNECTION 242 00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:36,749 BETWEEN A PARENT AND CHILD? 243 00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,618 ABSOLUTELY. 244 00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:42,923 DOES THAT MEAN THAT A PARENT KNOWS WHAT A CHILD NEEDS? 245 00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:46,126 NO, IT JUST MEANS THERE'S A CONNECTION. 246 00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:48,595 NO, WE'RE MORE THAN CONNECTED. 247 00:13:48,695 --> 00:13:52,399 THERE'S OBLIGATIONS BETWEEN PARENTS AND CHILDREN. 248 00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:56,303 THERE ARE THINGS THAT THEY OWE US AND THERE ARE THINGS THAT WE OWE THEM. 249 00:13:56,403 --> 00:13:58,838 YES, BUT, YOU KNOW, I THINK OBLIGATION 250 00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:01,174 IS MAYBE A SUBJECT FOR ANOTHER DAY, PAUL. 251 00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:03,911 NO, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT OBLIGATION TODAY. 252 00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:07,347 MY FATHER OWED ME THINGS... 253 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,952 AND HE DIDN'T COME THROUGH FOR ME. AND I OWED HIM THINGS 254 00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:13,987 AND I DIDN'T COME THROUGH FOR HIM. 255 00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:16,556 IF I'M NOT GOING TO DO ANY BETTER BY MY KIDS 256 00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:19,392 AND THEY'RE NOT GOING TO COME AND SEE ME TILL I'M ABOUT TO DIE, 257 00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:22,963 THEN WE ARE ALL HOPELESSLY SCREWED. 258 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,268 IS THAT YOUR FATHER'S WATCH? 259 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,837 - YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS? - NO. 260 00:14:30,938 --> 00:14:33,173 I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT ANYTHING IN GENERAL. 261 00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:36,709 I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT OBLIGATIONS OR FAMILY DUTY. 262 00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:39,179 I WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOU AND YOUR FATHER. 263 00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:41,481 YEAH. 264 00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:46,019 THIS IS HIS WATCH. 265 00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:47,988 I'M GONNA WEAR IT FOR A BIT. 266 00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:50,257 I DON'T USUALLY WEAR WATCHES. 267 00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:55,128 BUT I'LL WEAR THIS FOR A WHILE. 268 00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,933 BECAUSE IT'S A PATHETIC EXCUSE 269 00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:03,103 FOR GRIEVING. 270 00:15:03,971 --> 00:15:05,438 THERE IT IS. 271 00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:07,874 WHAT DID YOU MEAN WHEN YOU SAID THE ONLY PERSON 272 00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:10,143 YOU LEARNED ANYTHING ABOUT THAT DAY WAS YOU? 273 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,845 I FELT LIKE I WAS IN A MOVIE I WAS WATCHING. 274 00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:16,516 SELF-CENTERED GUY GOES TO THE HOSPITAL TO SEE HIS DYING FATHER, 275 00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:20,087 SITS DOWN, CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO SAY TO HIS DAD. 276 00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:24,191 THEN HE STARTS WHINING ABOUT HIS OWN LITTLE PROBLEMS. 277 00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:27,961 A DIVORCE, THE FEAR OF LOSING TOUCH WITH HIS CHILDREN, 278 00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:30,530 A MOVE TO A NEW CITY, 279 00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,732 THE THREAT TO THE MAN'S WORK FROM A LAWSUIT. 280 00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:36,303 THEY DON'T SOUND SO LITTLE WHEN YOU ACTUALLY SAY THEM. 281 00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:39,639 THESE ARE BIG PROBLEMS TO SOMEBODY IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR LIFE. 282 00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:43,210 BUT TO SOMEONE CONFRONTING DEATH, 283 00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:45,578 LIKE THE FATHER, IT MIGHT SEEM 284 00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:48,848 THAT THE SON COULD WORK THESE PROBLEMS OUT. 285 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,418 THE DYING FATHER DOESN'T HAVE THE TIME 286 00:15:51,518 --> 00:15:52,919 BUT THE SON DOES. 287 00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:55,188 NO MARRIAGE, NO CHILDREN, 288 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:58,625 NO PRACTICE, JUST TIME. 289 00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:01,661 WITHOUT THE TIME, YOU DON'T HAVE ANY OF THE OTHER THINGS. 290 00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:06,033 - I GUESS. - NO, IT'S NOT A GUESS. IT'S TRUE. 291 00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,768 TIME'S THE PRECIOUS THING. YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT. 292 00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:12,605 THAT'S WHY YOU'RE WEARING HIS WATCH. 293 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:14,807 MAYBE YOU WERE TELLING HIM YOUR PROBLEMS BECAUSE 294 00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:18,911 YOU WERE HOPING HE WOULD SAY SOMETHING MEANINGFUL TO YOU. 295 00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:22,649 - OR FINALLY BE A FATHER TO YOU. - I DON'T KNOW. 296 00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:25,618 BUT AFTER HE WAS GONE I WISHED 297 00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:28,555 THE WHINING GUY IN THE MOVIE 298 00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:32,325 COULD HAVE BEEN SOME KIND OF COMFORT TO HIS FATHER. 299 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,495 I WISHED I HAD 300 00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:39,166 DONE OR SAID SOMETHING MORE THAN JUST TAKE THE MAN'S WATCH. 301 00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:46,639 IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WISHED YOU HAD ASKED HIM 302 00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:48,241 BEFORE HE WAS GONE? 303 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:50,710 I WANTED TO ASK HIM IF-- 304 00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:52,479 IF HE WAS PROUD OF ME. 305 00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:54,814 - BUT YOU KNOW HE WAS. - DO I? 306 00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:56,816 YOU'RE A GOOD DOCTOR TO YOUR PATIENTS. 307 00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:59,018 YOU'RE A GOOD FATHER TO YOUR CHILDREN. 308 00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:05,292 - AND YOU LOVE SINGING. - ( chuckles ) 309 00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:08,328 I'M A TERRIBLE SINGER, GINA. 310 00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:10,397 I DIDN'T SAY YOU WERE A GOOD SINGER. 311 00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:13,233 - ( laughs ) - I SAID YOU LIKED SINGING. 312 00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:21,374 I SHOULD HAVE GONE EARLIER. 313 00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:23,643 I KNOW THAT. 314 00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:26,613 GUESS I WAS AFRAID. 315 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:32,185 ONCE I WAS THERE, I THOUGHT, "WHAT THE HELL WAS I AFRAID OF? 316 00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:35,422 MY FATHER IS DYING. WHAT CAN HE POSSIBLY DO TO ME?" 317 00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:39,592 DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE AFRAID OF? 318 00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:42,729 I WAS AFRAID THAT AFTER A LIFETIME OF HATING HIM... 319 00:17:44,997 --> 00:17:47,567 HE WAS GONNA LOVE ME ANYWAY. 320 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,138 AND I THINK I-- 321 00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:53,506 I WAITED TILL HE COULDN'T TALK ANYMORE 322 00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:57,777 BECAUSE I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO HEAR HIM SAY IT. 323 00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:01,080 WHY WOULD THAT HAVE BEEN SO BAD? 324 00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:05,585 BECAUSE IF HE COULD LOVE ME AND NOT GIVE ME ONE MINUTE OF HIS TIME... 325 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:11,191 THEN LOVE DOESN'T MEAN A THING AND I DON'T WANT IT. 326 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:15,262 YOU CAN'T INTELLECTUALIZE IT. 327 00:18:15,362 --> 00:18:18,898 IT'S SOMETHING WE FEEL-- SOMETIMES WITH GOOD REASON, 328 00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:20,333 SOMETIMES NOT. 329 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,435 MMM. 330 00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:27,106 YOU KNOW, I WAS A PALLBEARER 331 00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:30,843 AND SO WAS IAN. 332 00:18:32,379 --> 00:18:35,215 AND AS WE CAME OUT OF THE CHURCH 333 00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:37,417 AND CARRIED THE COFFIN TO THE CHURCHYARD, 334 00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:40,220 I LOOKED OVER AT HIM AND I THOUGHT, 335 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:45,458 "ONE DAY HE'S GONNA CARRY ME... 336 00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:48,161 IF I'M LUCKY ENOUGH NOT TO MESS IT UP." 337 00:18:49,296 --> 00:18:50,897 YOU WON'T MESS IT UP. 338 00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:52,732 HOW CAN YOU BE SO SURE? 339 00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:54,867 BECAUSE YOU ALREADY KNOW 340 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:59,606 THAT LOVE IS THE ONLY THING THAT HAS A CHANCE AGAINST DEATH. 341 00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:02,942 IT CAUSES US A LOT OF PAIN, BUT WITHOUT IT, WE FEEL 342 00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:06,646 ISOLATED, UNTETHERED, LOST IN SPACE. 343 00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:11,684 SO... 344 00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:14,521 MY FATHER 345 00:19:14,621 --> 00:19:17,190 LOVED ME. 346 00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:20,993 AND HE DID WHAT HE COULD. 347 00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:23,162 NO. YOUR FATHER LOVED YOU 348 00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:25,698 AND HE DID WHAT HE DID. 349 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,903 AND YOU LOVED HIM AND YOU HATED HIM BECAUSE HE IGNORED YOU. 350 00:19:34,207 --> 00:19:36,175 WOW. 351 00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:39,612 IT'S NOT PRETTY. IS IT? 352 00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:42,449 I WISH YOU COULD HAVE HAD THE FATHER YOU DESERVED. 353 00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:46,486 BUT MAYBE YOU CAN BE A FATHER TO YOURSELF NOW 354 00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:49,188 AND DO FOR YOURSELF WHAT YOU DO FOR YOUR BOYS. 355 00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:57,330 DID YOU HAVE THE FATHER THAT YOU NEEDED? 356 00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:08,308 ( snickers ) I'M A THERAPIST-- WHAT DO YOU THINK? 357 00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:15,548 UH, I GOTTA GO. 358 00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:17,884 I'VE GOT TO MEET 359 00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:20,520 - ALEX'S FATHER. - ( sighs ) 360 00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:23,590 MAYBE THERE'S SOME WAY I CAN HELP. 361 00:20:28,295 --> 00:20:30,297 THANK YOU, GINA. 362 00:20:56,789 --> 00:21:00,360 ( sighs ) SORRY-- SORRY I'M LATE. 363 00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:03,296 I'M SORRY I HAVE TO SEE YOU AT ALL, SO WE'RE EVEN. 364 00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:06,132 WELL, I WOULDN'T THINK THAT MAKES US EVEN. 365 00:21:06,232 --> 00:21:08,735 NEITHER DO I. 366 00:21:10,803 --> 00:21:12,739 OH, ARE YOU-- ARE YOU HAVING COFFEE? 367 00:21:12,839 --> 00:21:14,974 WITH YOU? ( snorts ) 368 00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:17,209 NO, NO COFFEE. 369 00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:19,245 CAN YOU GIVE US A MINUTE? 370 00:21:19,346 --> 00:21:22,549 I'M ONLY MEETING YOU HERE BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO STAND WHEN I TALKED TO YOU. 371 00:21:22,649 --> 00:21:26,586 - YOU COULD HAVE CALLED. - AND I DIDN'T COME HERE FOR YOU TO BE CUTE. 372 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,422 SO JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN, 373 00:21:29,522 --> 00:21:31,658 THEN I'LL GO AND THIS'LL BE OVER. 374 00:21:31,758 --> 00:21:34,694 I LOOKED AT THE EVIDENCE. I READ THE DOCUMENTS. 375 00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:38,665 MY LAWYER TELLS ME IT COULD TAKE TWO YEARS 376 00:21:38,765 --> 00:21:41,468 WATCHING YOU FIGHT THIS AND TRY TO GET AWAY WITH IT. 377 00:21:41,568 --> 00:21:44,236 WHY SHOULD I DO THAT-- WASTE TWO YEARS 378 00:21:44,337 --> 00:21:46,706 FIGHTING WITH YOU, HUH? 379 00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:49,509 NO. 380 00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:53,413 I'M GONNA DROP THE CASE. 381 00:21:55,982 --> 00:21:58,918 - YOU'RE GONNA DROP THE CASE? - YEAH. 382 00:21:59,018 --> 00:22:03,356 I'LL TAKE THE SETTLEMENT MONEY THAT YOUR INSURANCE COMPANY IS OFFERING. 383 00:22:03,456 --> 00:22:06,225 I'LL DROP THE CASE. 384 00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:09,396 - PROVIDING... - PROVIDING WHAT? 385 00:22:09,496 --> 00:22:14,501 YOU WRITE A LETTER OF APOLOGY ACCEPTING FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE DEATH OF MY SON. 386 00:22:14,601 --> 00:22:16,936 ( groans ) WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A LETTER LIKE THAT? 387 00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:19,839 - THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. - IF IT MEANS THAT YOU CAN USE IT 388 00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:22,675 TO KEEP ME FROM PRACTICING, I THINK IT IS MY BUSINESS, YEAH. 389 00:22:22,775 --> 00:22:27,179 YOU KNOW, I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT OTHER LIVES YOU DESTROY. 390 00:22:27,279 --> 00:22:30,817 BUT I NEED SOMETHING-- PROOF-- 391 00:22:30,917 --> 00:22:35,788 A PIECE OF PAPER THAT TELLS ME YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID. 392 00:22:35,888 --> 00:22:39,225 SO YOU WANT ME TO WRITE A LETTER. 393 00:22:39,325 --> 00:22:42,895 FROM YOU, ACCEPTING FULL RESPONSIBILITY. 394 00:22:44,431 --> 00:22:47,534 YOU TOOK AWAY MY SON'S ABILITY TO DISTANCE HIMSELF FROM HIS JOB, 395 00:22:47,634 --> 00:22:51,103 AND THUS DESTROYED HIS ABILITY TO DO IT. 396 00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:54,340 YOU KILLED HIM. 397 00:22:54,441 --> 00:22:57,777 THAT'S ALL I WANT. IT'S JUST FOR ME. 398 00:22:57,877 --> 00:23:00,379 I'M NOT GOING TO SHOW IT TO ANYBODY ELSE. THAT'S ALL I WANT. 399 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:03,315 YOU WON'T INSTITUTE A MALPRACTICE PROCEEDING? 400 00:23:03,416 --> 00:23:05,618 I CAN'T GET A PICTURE OUT OF MY HEAD 401 00:23:05,718 --> 00:23:08,521 OF MY SON IN YOUR OFFICE. 402 00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:12,759 I NEED SOMETHING... 403 00:23:12,859 --> 00:23:15,327 THAT LETS ME KNOW 404 00:23:15,428 --> 00:23:18,565 THAT YOU KNOW YOU GOT BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS. 405 00:23:20,767 --> 00:23:23,570 THEN YOU'LL NEVER HEAR FROM ME AGAIN. 406 00:23:23,670 --> 00:23:26,138 - YOU KNOW-- - YOU TALK TO YOUR LAWYERS 407 00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:28,575 AND YOU LET THEM KNOW WHAT YOU DECIDE. 408 00:23:44,557 --> 00:23:46,926 ( eerie music playing )