1
00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:34,202
( door opens )

2
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:41,142
NICE CAP.

3
00:00:43,311 --> 00:00:45,813
( theme music playing )

4
00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:06,033
( labored breathing )

5
00:01:06,134 --> 00:01:08,736
THOSE STAIRS WERE
SO HARD FOR ME.

6
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:12,940
THIS KEEPS HAPPENING,
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO START

7
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,276
GIVING ME THERAPY
AT CHEMO.

8
00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:18,746
TWO BIRDS
WITH ONE STONE.

9
00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:23,851
YOU KNOW WHAT
I LIKE BEST ABOUT YOU?

10
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:26,487
WHAT, MY MORBID
SENSE OF HUMOR?

11
00:01:27,955 --> 00:01:30,191
YOUR EYES.

12
00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:32,993
I REMEMBER
THE FIRST TIME
I CAME HERE

13
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,862
AND AS I WAS LEAVING

14
00:01:34,962 --> 00:01:37,265
I LOOKED AT YOU
AND YOU LOOKED AT ME

15
00:01:37,365 --> 00:01:39,733
AND I LOST MY BREATH
FOR A MOMENT.

16
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,105
IT'S A COMPLIMENT.

17
00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:48,242
I KNOW.

18
00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:50,411
DON'T WORRY.
I'M NOT GONNA JUMP YOU.

19
00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:53,547
I'M IN CHEMO--
I CAN BARELY KEEP
MY FOOD DOWN.

20
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,216
( chuckles )

21
00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:57,218
YOU KNOW,
THEY HAVE DRUGS

22
00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:59,387
THEY CAN GIVE YOU
THAT CAN COUNTERACT
THE NAUSEA.

23
00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:02,556
YOU'RE NOT EVEN
MY TYPE.

24
00:02:03,257 --> 00:02:05,559
BUT YOUR EYES ARE...

25
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:09,363
BOTTOMLESS.

26
00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:12,666
- I'M JUST SAYING.
- OKAY.

27
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:15,469
- ( inhales sharply ) OW.
- ARE YOU OKAY?

28
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:18,606
I JUST-- I FORGET
I CAN'T DO THAT ANYMORE

29
00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:21,175
BECAUSE OF THE THING
I HAVE THERE NOW.

30
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:24,245
DOES THE PORT
HURT ALL THE TIME?

31
00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:27,348
ONLY IF I MOVE
A CERTAIN WAY.

32
00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:31,519
I CAN'T REMEMBER
THEM CUTTING ME OPEN.

33
00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:34,422
I DIDN'T FAINT
OR ANYTHING, DID I?

34
00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:38,158
- NO.
- DO YOU REMEMBER
THEM PUTTING IT IN?

35
00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:41,061
UH-HUH.

36
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:44,198
DID YOU WATCH IT HAPPEN?

37
00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:48,369
NO, NOT--
NOT ALL OF IT.

38
00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:52,573
'CAUSE YOU DIDN'T WANT
TO SEE MY BREASTS?

39
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:57,345
TRUST ME,
THERE'S NOTHING
REALLY TO SEE.

40
00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:02,883
BUT THANK YOU
FOR NOT LOOKING.

41
00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:07,888
AND THANK YOU
FOR TAKING ME.

42
00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:09,790
YOU'RE WELCOME.

43
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:14,262
YOU KNOW,
IT'S FUNNY--

44
00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:16,264
I'VE HAD SO MANY
CONVERSATIONS WITH YOU

45
00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:18,966
IN MY HEAD OVER
THESE LAST TWO WEEKS.

46
00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:21,702
I MEAN,
LITERALLY EVERY DAY

47
00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:25,205
WE'VE TALKED FOR,
LIKE, HOURS AT A TIME.

48
00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:27,207
WE'VE HAD WHOLE ARGUMENTS
IN MY HEAD

49
00:03:27,308 --> 00:03:29,142
AND THEN--
AND THEN WE'VE MADE UP.

50
00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:32,346
AND WHAT--
WHAT HAVE WE ARGUED ABOUT?

51
00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:36,116
WHETHER LIFE
IS JUST BULLSHIT

52
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,918
OR THERE'S SOMETHING
DEEPER BEHIND IT.

53
00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:40,187
AND WHAT DO I SAY?

54
00:03:40,288 --> 00:03:43,791
WELL, YOU DON'T SAY MUCH
EVEN IN MY HEAD,

55
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,659
WHICH I FIND FRUSTRATING.

56
00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:50,364
BUT WHEN I ASKED YOU
IF IT WAS ALL WORTH IT,

57
00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:54,302
YOU SAID,
"OF COURSE IT IS, APRIL,

58
00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:57,871
IF YOU MAKE YOURSELF
AND OTHERS HAPPY."

59
00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,373
( chuckles )

60
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:02,743
- WHAT?
- I'M SUCH AN OPTIMIST

61
00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:04,278
IN-- IN YOUR HEAD.

62
00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:06,647
YOU WOULDN'T
HAVE SAID THAT?

63
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:10,083
WHAT YOU'RE ESSENTIALLY DOING
IS GIVING YOURSELF ADVICE

64
00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:12,686
IN THE FORM
OF MY VOICE.

65
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:16,857
- I KNOW.
- AND VERY SOUND
ADVICE IT IS.

66
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:20,594
YOU'RE TAKING
VERY GOOD CARE
OF YOURSELF.

67
00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:27,234
ONCE I ASKED YOU
NOT TO GIVE UP ON ME.

68
00:04:27,335 --> 00:04:29,937
AND WHAT DID I SAY?

69
00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:33,206
YOU SAID, "NEVER.

70
00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:36,777
I JUST WANT TO HAZE YOU
FOR A WHILE."

71
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,514
WHAT DO YOU THINK
I MEANT BY THAT?

72
00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:42,883
YOU'RE TESTING ME.

73
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,586
AND HOW DO YOU PASS?

74
00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:49,857
I LIVE.

75
00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:57,731
DO YOU GET EXTRA POINTS
FOR TELLING YOUR PARENTS?

76
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,836
ISN'T IT AMAZING
HOW MANY PEOPLE
HAVE CANCER?

77
00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:05,939
AND JUST, LIKE,
HAVING CONVERSATIONS,

78
00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:07,675
DOING SUDOKU.

79
00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:10,444
DID YOU SEE THOSE
TWO GIRLS IN THE CORNER
ON THE COMPUTER?

80
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:13,180
THEY WERE
SHOPPING ONLINE...

81
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,383
FOR UNDERWEAR.

82
00:05:15,483 --> 00:05:18,419
WE HAVE CATHETERS COMING OUT
OF OUR FUCKING HEARTS

83
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,621
AND THEY'RE BUYING NEW BRAS.

84
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:24,057
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES
A LITTLE DENIAL

85
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,226
IS NOT A BAD THING--

86
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,996
BUT DON'T TELL
ANYBODY I SAID THAT.

87
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:34,468
I'M SORRY I'VE BEEN
SUCH AN ASSHOLE IN HERE.

88
00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:36,737
I TOLD YOU--
NO APOLOGIES.

89
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,640
I MEAN,
I DIDN'T ANSWER
YOUR CALLS.

90
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:43,544
I-- I MADE YOU
LET ME TALK TO SIENNA
DURING A SESSION.

91
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:45,746
I SMASHED
MY FREAKING MODEL
IN YOUR OFFICE

92
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,548
AND I LEFT IT
FOR YOU TO CLEAN UP.

93
00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:49,983
I MUST BE
THE WORST PATIENT
YOU'VE EVER HAD.

94
00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,019
OH NO, YOU'RE NOT.

95
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:56,123
THANK YOU

96
00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:58,025
FOR TAKING ME.

97
00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:01,261
AND THANK YOU
FOR GOING.

98
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:04,632
NO, REALLY.
THANK YOU.

99
00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:07,401
I HEARD THAT.

100
00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:20,013
I HAD A BAD NIGHT
LAST WEEK...

101
00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:23,984
JUST A FEW DAYS
AFTER THE CHEMO.

102
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:28,055
- I WANTED TO CALL YOU, BUT--
- WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME?

103
00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:30,257
YOU CANCELED
OUR SESSION.

104
00:06:30,357 --> 00:06:31,725
I THOUGHT
YOU NEEDED A BREAK.

105
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:34,828
APRIL, THAT WAS
NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.

106
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,765
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
I CALLED MY BEST FRIEND
LEAH INSTEAD.

107
00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:39,733
LEAH.

108
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:43,103
I HAVEN'T HEARD YOU
MENTION HER NAME BEFORE.

109
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:45,506
WHAT DID
YOU SAY TO HER?

110
00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:50,010
WELL, I-- I HAD WOKEN UP
FROM THIS DREAM

111
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:52,245
WHERE I WAS
ALREADY DEAD

112
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:55,015
OR-- NO, NOT EXACTLY.

113
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:58,351
IT WAS MORE LIKE I KNEW
THAT I WAS ABOUT TO DIE,

114
00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:00,387
LIKE SOMETHING WAS
COMING TO KILL ME.

115
00:07:00,488 --> 00:07:02,422
IT WAS HORRIBLE.

116
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:07,127
BUT I ALSO KIND
OF WANTED IT TO HAPPEN

117
00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:09,563
JUST TO GET IT OVER WITH.

118
00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:13,133
THERE'S ANOTHER WAY
OF LOOKING AT THAT DREAM.

119
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:17,938
MAYBE IT'S JUST THE PART
OF YOU THAT REFUSES HELP--

120
00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:20,373
I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT
WHAT THE DREAM MEANS.

121
00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:23,844
I WAS JUST
SETTING THE STAGE.

122
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,079
UNDERSTOOD.

123
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,815
ANYWAY, I WOKE UP

124
00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:30,784
WITH THIS
REALLY HIGH FEVER,

125
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:33,554
LIKE SO HIGH
I WAS SHAKING--

126
00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:35,656
I COULDN'T EVEN HOLD
A GLASS OF WATER--

127
00:07:35,756 --> 00:07:38,992
AND I TOTALLY FREAKED.

128
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:40,460
I MEAN, I REALLY--

129
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,730
I REALLY THOUGHT
IT WAS ALL ABOUT TO END.

130
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:45,566
THAT'S WHY
I CALLED LEAH.

131
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,701
SHE CAME RIGHT OVER.

132
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,504
AND SHE TOOK
ONE LOOK AT ME

133
00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:53,006
AND CALLED 911.

134
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:54,542
AND ON THE WAY THERE

135
00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:57,044
THE AMBULANCE GUYS
WERE ASKING ME

136
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,613
IF I WAS ON ANY MEDICATION
THAT THEY SHOULD KNOW ABOUT.

137
00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:03,917
AND I SAID,
"WELL, CHEMO."

138
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:08,556
SO WAS LEAH IN
THE AMBULANCE WITH YOU?

139
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:14,595
AND HER MOUTH JUST
SORT OF HIT THE FLOOR.

140
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:19,466
I WAS SO OUT OF IT
I JUST STARTED
APOLOGIZING.

141
00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:22,335
YOU KNOW, "I'M SORRY.
I WOULDN'T HAVE CALLED,

142
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:25,539
BUT I'M DYING," AND...

143
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:29,209
SHE TOOK MY HAND

144
00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:31,244
AND SHE SAID, "APRIL,

145
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,681
YOU DON'T DIE
THIS QUICKLY."

146
00:08:33,781 --> 00:08:36,984
SHE SOUNDS LIKE
A TRUE FRIEND.

147
00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:39,620
SHE REALLY IS.

148
00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:46,259
YET YOU HADN'T
TOLD HER ABOUT
THE CANCER TILL THEN.

149
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,128
I HAVEN'T SEEN HER
FOR A WHILE.

150
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:51,999
SHE'S IN LAW SCHOOL,
SO SHE'S BEEN REALLY BUSY.

151
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,535
HAVE YOU KNOWN
EACH OTHER FOR LONG?

152
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,138
WE, UM--

153
00:08:58,238 --> 00:08:59,840
WE SHARED
A BUS STOP

154
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:02,109
WITH A BUNCH
OF OTHER KIDS.

155
00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:05,078
WHEN I WAS 10,

156
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:07,815
DANIEL CAME TO SCHOOL
WITH ME FOR THE FIRST TIME.

157
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:11,284
HE WAS TRYING
KINDERGARTEN.

158
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:14,622
I WAS SO AFRAID
THAT EVERYBODY WAS
GONNA MAKE FUN OF HIM.

159
00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:17,524
AND THAT FIRST DAY,
I TURNED AROUND

160
00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:20,460
FOR JUST A SECOND
AND WHEN I TURNED
BACK AROUND,

161
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:24,097
DANIEL WAS STANDING
THERE SINGING

162
00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:26,700
AND HOLDING HIS PENIS.

163
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,837
AND I WANTED TO DIE
RIGHT THERE.

164
00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:32,072
I MEAN, EVERYBODY WAS
STARING AT HIM.

165
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,675
NOBODY SAID ANYTHING

166
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:38,946
UNTIL--
UNTIL LEAH SAID, "DANIEL,

167
00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:42,582
YOU CAN SING OR YOU
CAN HOLD YOUR PENIS,

168
00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:46,219
BUT YOU CANNOT SING
AND HOLD YOUR PENIS."

169
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:49,422
EVERYBODY
STARTED LAUGHING.

170
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:51,692
AND THEN ALL THE GUYS
STARTED SINGING

171
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:53,894
AND HOLDING THEIR OWN DICKS.
IT WAS AMAZING.

172
00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:56,630
( chortles )

173
00:09:57,831 --> 00:10:00,400
SO SHE'S ALWAYS
LOOKED OUT FOR YOU?

174
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,535
WE'VE LOOKED OUT
FOR EACH OTHER.

175
00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:05,038
HER MOM DIED WHEN
WE WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL,

176
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:07,074
SO SHE CAME TO LIVE
WITH US FOR A WHILE.

177
00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:12,012
SHE'S-- SHE'S REALLY
MORE LIKE A SISTER
THAN A FRIEND.

178
00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:18,085
YOU KNOW, HER REACTION
WHEN YOU CALLED HER

179
00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:19,653
REMINDED ME OF

180
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:24,157
HOW KYLE REACTED
WHEN YOU CALLED HIM,

181
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:27,560
WHEN YOU WERE
HAVING TROUBLE WITH
THE MODEL, REMEMBER?

182
00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:32,132
YOU SAID THAT HE ALSO
CAME RIGHT OVER.

183
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:34,067
YEAH, SO?

184
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:36,837
SO IT SEEMS LIKE
THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE

185
00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:38,538
ARE VERY
COMMITTED TO YOU.

186
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:41,341
I HAVE GOOD TASTE
IN PEOPLE.

187
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,310
I THINK IT'S MORE
THAN THAT.

188
00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:46,279
I THINK
THAT YOU DEMAND

189
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,916
INCREDIBLE LOYALTY.

190
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,252
SO THE ONLY PEOPLE
YOU ALLOW TO GET
CLOSE TO YOU

191
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:55,655
ARE THE PEOPLE YOU FEEL
THAT CAN MEASURE UP,

192
00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:59,659
PEOPLE YOU FEEL
THAT CAN REALLY
GO THE DISTANCE.

193
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,429
I'M INCREDIBLY LOYAL
TO THEM AS WELL.

194
00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:04,765
YES, I KNOW THAT.

195
00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:08,702
SO WHY ARE YOU
MAKING IT SOUND LIKE
IT'S A BAD THING?

196
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:11,204
I GUESS I JUST WONDER
WHY YOU WORK SO HARD

197
00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:15,642
TO MAKE FRIENDS WHO ARE
SO FIERCELY DEVOTED TO YOU

198
00:11:15,743 --> 00:11:19,212
AND THEN,
WHEN YOU NEED HELP,

199
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:21,648
YOU SEEM RELUCTANT
TO RELY UPON THEM.

200
00:11:21,749 --> 00:11:24,818
- I CALLED LEAH.
- YEAH, THAT'S TRUE,

201
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:29,222
BUT YOU WAITED
UNTIL YOU THOUGHT
THAT YOU WERE DYING.

202
00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,927
IT'S LIKE A BANK.

203
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:37,030
YOU KEEP
TAKING MONEY OUT,

204
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:39,900
THEN EVENTUALLY
THERE'LL BE NOTHING LEFT.

205
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,803
SO YOU THINK THAT
THERE'S ONLY A LIMITED
AMOUNT OF SUPPORT

206
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:44,772
THAT ONE PERSON
CAN OFFER ANOTHER

207
00:11:44,872 --> 00:11:47,875
AND WHEN THAT
SUPPORT IS USED UP,
IT'S GONE FOREVER?

208
00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:50,744
IF LEAH HAD CANCER,

209
00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:53,013
WOULD YOU GET TIRED
OF HELPING HER?

210
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:54,982
NO.

211
00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:57,717
BUT NOT EVERYONE
IS LIKE ME.

212
00:11:57,818 --> 00:12:00,954
AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN
EVERYBODY IS NOT
LIKE YOU?

213
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:09,296
IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM,
THE DOCTOR TOLD ME

214
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:13,166
I SHOULD EXPECT MORE FEVERS
JUST LIKE THIS ONE.

215
00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:17,805
AS HE SAID IT,
I SAW LEAH'S FACE.

216
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:22,442
- SHE JUST LOOKED TERRIFIED.
- FOR HERSELF OR FOR YOU?

217
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:25,278
OKAY. ENOUGH.
I GET IT.

218
00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:27,314
I MEAN, I GET WHAT
YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY.

219
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:29,282
I JUST DON'T
AGREE WITH YOU.
IS THAT OKAY?

220
00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:30,884
OF COURSE.

221
00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:33,220
NOT EVERYONE
IS LIKE ME, PAUL.

222
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:36,589
I MEAN, I KNOW YOU THINK
I'M CRAZY, BUT I'M RIGHT.

223
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:39,426
I DON'T THINK
YOU'RE CRAZY, APRIL.

224
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:50,871
YOU CANCELED
OUR SESSION LAST WEEK.

225
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:53,807
YES, I'M--
( clears throat )

226
00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:56,176
I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.

227
00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:01,114
HOW DID YOU FEEL
WHEN YOU GOT THE MESSAGE?

228
00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:05,018
WELL, CONSIDERING
WE'VE DETERMINED

229
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,287
THAT I HAVE A TOUGH TIME
RELYING ON PEOPLE,

230
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:09,556
IT WAS A PRETTY BALLSY
MOVE ON YOUR PART.

231
00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:13,493
WHAT HAPPENED?

232
00:13:16,063 --> 00:13:20,934
I, UH-- I HAD
A FAMILY EMERGENCY.

233
00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:26,139
SO WHAT HAPPENED?

234
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,642
YOU DON'T WANT
TO TELL ME?

235
00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:32,913
COME ON. I TOLD YOU
I HAVE CANCER.

236
00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:36,016
JUST KNOW THAT
IF I COULD'VE BEEN
THERE FOR YOU...

237
00:13:36,984 --> 00:13:38,886
I WOULD HAVE BEEN.

238
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,555
I KNOW THAT.

239
00:13:47,794 --> 00:13:49,096
HEY, HOW OLD ARE YOU?

240
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:53,600
UH, A BIT--
A BIT PASSED 50.

241
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,535
'CAUSE I WAS
THINKING THIS WEEK,

242
00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:59,039
WHEN LEAH'S MOM DIED
SHE WAS 35--

243
00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:00,941
WE WERE 15
AND SHE WAS 35--

244
00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:04,011
AND I REMEMBER
HER BEING SO OLD,

245
00:14:04,111 --> 00:14:08,848
LIKE MIDDLE-AGED,
AND NOW SHE SEEMS
SO YOUNG TO ME.

246
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:10,984
AND I WAS WONDERING,

247
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:14,387
YOU KNOW,
IF I MAKE IT TO 35,

248
00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:16,423
WILL I LOOK BACK
ON THE TIME IN HERE

249
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:20,727
AND THINK,
"WHEN I WAS 23
AND PAUL WAS 50,

250
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:22,195
HE SEEMED MIDDLE-AGED.

251
00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:25,865
AND NOW HE SEEMS
SO YOUNG."

252
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,602
YOU'LL HAVE TO LET ME KNOW
WHEN YOU GET THERE.

253
00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:33,306
SO WE'LL KEEP
IN TOUCH?

254
00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:41,548
MY HAIR STARTED
FALLING OUT.

255
00:14:43,951 --> 00:14:47,787
THEY SAY I'LL WAKE UP
ONE DAY NEXT WEEK

256
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:50,958
AND THE REST OF IT
WILL JUST BE THERE

257
00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:53,093
ON THE PILLOW.

258
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:59,967
IT'S GONNA BE HARD TO
KEEP IT FROM MY PARENTS
AFTER THAT HAPPENS.

259
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:05,973
I GUESS YOU AND I SHOULD
START STRATEGIZING.

260
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,908
OR MAYBE YOU
COULD JUST TELL THEM.

261
00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:12,345
I BET YOU AND MY DAD
WOULD ACTUALLY
GET ALONG.

262
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:15,515
YOU'RE BOTH
SORT OF INTENSE
IN THE SAME WAY.

263
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:18,318
I THINK YOU SHOULD BE PART
OF THAT CONVERSATION.

264
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:22,255
WE COULD ASK THEM
TO COME WITH YOU TO THERAPY.

265
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:25,658
- THAT MIGHT WORK.
- WE COULD SCHEDULE SOMETHING

266
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,760
BEFORE YOUR NEXT
CHEMOTHERAPY SESSION.

267
00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:30,797
NO, WE CAN'T.
IT'S TOMORROW.

268
00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:34,434
SO WHO'S GONNA
TAKE YOU?

269
00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:40,373
YOU?

270
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,677
AND WHAT ABOUT LEAH?

271
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:49,116
WHAT ABOUT HER?

272
00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:52,352
WOULDN'T YOU PREFER
IF SHE TOOK YOU?

273
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,721
NO.

274
00:15:58,925 --> 00:16:00,560
DO YOU NOT
WANT TO TAKE ME?

275
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:03,263
IT'S NOT A QUESTION
OF WHETHER I WANT
TO TAKE YOU.

276
00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:05,165
OKAY, ARE YOU
REFUSING TO TAKE ME?

277
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:08,101
- APRIL, YOU STILL HAVEN'T
TOLD YOUR PARENTS.
- SO?

278
00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:10,803
SO YOU'VE GOT A WHOLE
SYSTEM OF SUPPORT IN PLACE

279
00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:14,307
- THAT YOU'RE NOT USING.
- I DON'T WANT MY MOTHER
TO TAKE ME TO CHEMO.

280
00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:17,710
- WHY NOT?
- BECAUSE I WANT YOU
TO TAKE ME.

281
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,379
I THINK WE SHOULD
TALK ABOUT WHY

282
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,981
YOU STILL CAN'T TELL
THIS TO YOUR PARENTS.

283
00:16:22,082 --> 00:16:24,351
- IS THIS SOME KIND OF A JOKE?
- NO, IT'S NOT.

284
00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:27,220
I AM YOUR THERAPIST
AND YOU NEED A THERAPIST,

285
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,855
BUT YOU ALSO NEED
A CAREGIVER

286
00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:31,058
AND I CANNOT BE
BOTH PEOPLE.

287
00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:32,859
YOU MEAN YOU WON'T.

288
00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:35,728
- IT ISN'T APPROPRIATE.
- YEAH, BUT YOU'VE
ALREADY TAKEN ME.

289
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,830
I-- I HAD TO DO THAT.

290
00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:40,833
- NOBODY FORCED YOU.
- IT WAS THE RIGHT
THING TO DO.

291
00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:42,435
APRIL, YOU ARE
VERY SICK,

292
00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:44,671
- BUT I CROSSED A LINE.
- WHAT LINE?!

293
00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:47,074
- THERE'S NO LINE!
- THERE NEEDS
TO BE A LINE

294
00:16:47,174 --> 00:16:48,908
IF I'M TO CONTINUE
BEING YOUR THERAPIST.

295
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,777
YOU JUST DREW
THE DAMN LINE!

296
00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:53,813
- APRIL, LISTEN TO ME.
- NO, THIS-- I KNEW YOU
COULDN'T TAKE IT.

297
00:16:53,913 --> 00:16:55,815
I KNEW AS SOON
AS YOU SAW THAT--

298
00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:57,984
THEM PUT THAT PORT
INTO MY HEART

299
00:16:58,085 --> 00:16:59,919
YOU SAID,
"FUCK THIS SHIT.

300
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,954
THIS ISN'T MY DAUGHTER.
THIS ISN'T MY PROBLEM."

301
00:17:02,055 --> 00:17:03,723
OW.

302
00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:08,695
- OW.
- APRIL.

303
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:18,205
APRIL.

304
00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:21,774
APRIL.

305
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,644
WHAT'S GOING ON?

306
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,681
TELL ME.

307
00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:31,684
- I CAN'T.
- YES, YOU CAN.

308
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:34,721
NO, I CAN'T DO THIS.

309
00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:40,393
I'M GONNA FAIL
YOUR FUCKING TEST.

310
00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:42,162
NO, YOU WON'T.

311
00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:45,132
PEOPLE DIE OF THIS SHIT
EVERY DAY.

312
00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:48,601
BUT NOT EVERYONE IS AS
STRONG AS YOU, REMEMBER?

313
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:51,538
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
GONNA TAKE CARE OF ME.

314
00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:56,008
I'M TRYING.

315
00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:58,745
NO, YOU'RE DROPPING ME.

316
00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:02,482
NO, I'M NOT DROPPING YOU.
I'M HERE FOR YOU, APRIL,

317
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,118
- AS YOUR THERAPIST.
- UNTIL YOU'RE NOT.

318
00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:07,954
I WAS SO SCARED
LAST WEEK.

319
00:18:08,054 --> 00:18:10,056
I DREAMT I WAS DEAD.

320
00:18:10,157 --> 00:18:12,325
- I NEEDED YOU THEN.
- I KNOW.

321
00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:21,934
I HAD A--
A FAMILY EMERGENCY.

322
00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:25,638
WHAT HAPPENED?
DID YOUR DOG DIE?

323
00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:29,108
NO.
MY FATHER.

324
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:33,313
WHAT?

325
00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:38,151
IT'S OKAY.
HE--

326
00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:41,621
HE'D BEEN SICK
FOR A WHILE.

327
00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:46,526
YOUR-- YOUR FATHER DIED?

328
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:49,796
( stammering )
HOW COULD YOU LET ME

329
00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:53,200
GO ON BLATHERING
LIKE THIS

330
00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:56,469
WHEN YOUR--
YOUR FATHER JUST DIED?

331
00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:59,539
- I APPRECIATE
YOUR CONCERN--
- WERE YOU CLOSE?

332
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,508
NO, NOT REALLY.

333
00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:03,310
WHY NOT?

334
00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:06,979
WELL...
( clears throat )

335
00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:10,250
HE-- HE LEFT
THE FAMILY WHEN--

336
00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:14,554
WHEN I WAS YOUNG.

337
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,723
WOW.

338
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:20,593
SO WAS YOUR MOM
AT THE FUNERAL?

339
00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:24,431
NO, MY MOM HAS BEEN
GONE FOR-- FOR A WHILE.

340
00:19:27,534 --> 00:19:30,403
- WHEN?
- A LONG TIME AGO.

341
00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:33,606
JESUS.

342
00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:37,244
SO YOU'VE HAD IT
PRETTY ROUGH,
HAVEN'T YOU?

343
00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:39,379
I'M-- I'M SORRY.

344
00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:43,583
( sighs )
WE ALL HAVE
OUR FIGHTS TO FIGHT.

345
00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:47,387
WELL, LOOK AT YOU.

346
00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:49,422
YOU DEAL WITH DANIEL
EVERY DAY.

347
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:52,058
GOD, WHY DO YOU
HAVE TO DO THAT?

348
00:19:52,158 --> 00:19:55,795
- DO WHAT?
- TURN EVERYTHING AROUND

349
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:58,498
SO THAT IT'S ABOUT ME
AND MY EXPERIENCE.

350
00:19:58,598 --> 00:20:01,734
CAN'T I JUST
FEEL BAD FOR YOU?

351
00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:04,304
SURE.

352
00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:08,040
WELL...

353
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:10,343
GO AHEAD.

354
00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:25,191
SO ARE YOU...

355
00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:27,394
FEELING BAD FOR ME NOW?

356
00:20:27,494 --> 00:20:29,396
YES.

357
00:20:29,496 --> 00:20:31,598
WE'RE HAVING A WHOLE
CONVERSATION IN MY HEAD.

358
00:20:31,698 --> 00:20:35,668
I HAVE EXPRESSED
MY SYMPATHIES ABOUT
YOUR FATHER,

359
00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:38,905
AND YOU HAVE GRATEFULLY
AND GRACIOUSLY

360
00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:40,940
ACCEPTED
MY CONDOLENCES.

361
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:44,010
GOOD.

362
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:48,615
YOU KNOW,
HAVING A FANTASY LIFE
AS POWERFUL AS THAT--

363
00:20:48,715 --> 00:20:51,651
THE ABILITY TO PLAY OUT
WHOLE SCENARIOS

364
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,786
IN YOUR HEAD--

365
00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:57,457
THAT'S-- THAT'S THE MARK
OF A HIGHLY INTELLIGENT PERSON.

366
00:20:57,557 --> 00:21:00,827
- REALLY?
- YES, ACCORDING
TO SOME STUDIES.

367
00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:03,996
AND WHAT DO THE OTHER
STUDIES CONSIDER IT
A SIGN OF?

368
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,032
UTTER INSANITY.

369
00:21:08,034 --> 00:21:10,337
( chuckles )

370
00:21:16,042 --> 00:21:19,946
OKAY. CAN WE GO BACK
TO TALKING ABOUT YOUR
CHEMO SESSION TOMORROW?

371
00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:26,018
- WHO CAN TAKE YOU?
- I DON'T KNOW.

372
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:28,521
I UNDERSTAND
YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK
TO YOUR MOTHER...

373
00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:31,624
- NO.
- ...AND I APPRECIATE LEAH
CAN'T TAKE THE STRESS...

374
00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:34,494
- YEAH. SHE'S GOT MIDTERMS.
- ...BUT YOU MUST HAVE
OTHER FRIENDS

375
00:21:34,594 --> 00:21:37,263
- WHO WOULD LIKE
TO BE THERE.
- I GUESS SO.

376
00:21:37,364 --> 00:21:39,999
WHAT-- WHAT ABOUT KYLE?

377
00:21:43,235 --> 00:21:45,638
APRIL...

378
00:21:45,738 --> 00:21:48,375
WHEN YOU FIGURE OUT
WHO'S GONNA TAKE YOU,

379
00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:50,710
WILL YOU LET ME KNOW?

380
00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:52,879
WHY?

381
00:21:52,979 --> 00:21:56,649
I WANT TO KNOW THAT
YOU'VE FOUND SOMEBODY.

382
00:22:02,755 --> 00:22:04,657
I'M SORRY ABOUT
YOUR DAD, PAUL.

383
00:22:27,514 --> 00:22:30,750
( breathing heavily )

384
00:22:47,099 --> 00:22:49,201
( door opens )

385
00:22:49,301 --> 00:22:50,770
( door closes )