1
00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:11,712
( phone ringing )

2
00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:22,090
- ( beeps )
- HELLO?

3
00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:24,692
Paul, it's April.

4
00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:28,462
- OH.
- Can I come in
a little early today?

5
00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:31,332
I've been up
all night trying to
finish my final project

6
00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:33,901
and I just don't think
I'll make it to noon.

7
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:36,304
OH, SURE.
CAN YOU JUST--

8
00:00:36,404 --> 00:00:38,106
JUST HOLD ON
FOR A MOMENT

9
00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:40,174
WHILE I GET MY BOOK.

10
00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:42,410
- UMM--
- No, it's no big deal.

11
00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:44,978
I'll just
see you next week.

12
00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:46,647
NO NO NO NO NO,
IT'S OKAY.

13
00:00:46,747 --> 00:00:49,717
WHEN DID YOU--
WHEN DID YOU WANT
TO COME IN?

14
00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:52,286
How about now?

15
00:00:53,221 --> 00:00:56,224
OKAY.
IT'S NO PROBLEM.

16
00:00:56,324 --> 00:00:58,726
I'LL SEE YOU
IN A BIT THEN, OKAY?

17
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:03,764
( theme music playing )

18
00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:24,118
THANKS FOR SEEING ME.

19
00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:27,288
I WAS ON MY WAY TO SCHOOL
TO TURN THIS IN--

20
00:01:27,388 --> 00:01:30,191
AND I DON'T KNOW
WHY I DID IT,

21
00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:31,959
BUT I CAME HERE INSTEAD.

22
00:01:32,059 --> 00:01:33,994
THIS IS...
( clears throat )

23
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:36,564
THE BIG PROJECT
YOU MENTIONED?

24
00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:41,269
WOULD YOU MIND
IF I HAD A LOOK AT IT?

25
00:01:41,369 --> 00:01:44,605
NO, GO AHEAD IF YOU'RE
INTERESTED IN SHIT.

26
00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:54,348
- IT--
- OH.

27
00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:58,452
AH.

28
00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:08,128
OH, THAT'S REALLY COOL.

29
00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:11,098
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE
A WORLD TRADE CENTER MEMORIAL,

30
00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:13,301
OF COURSE.

31
00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:16,103
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
"OF COURSE"?

32
00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:18,306
BECAUSE GOD FORBID
ANY ARCHITECTURE STUDENT

33
00:02:18,406 --> 00:02:20,774
IN THE COUNTRY GETS ANOTHER
ASSIGNMENT EVER AGAIN.

34
00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:24,378
I'M SORRY.
I'M AN ASSHOLE.

35
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:27,014
- DON'T LISTEN TO ME.
- NO, I THINK IT'S JUST--

36
00:02:27,114 --> 00:02:28,782
I THINK IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

37
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:33,053
IT'S REALLY...

38
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,423
EXQUISITELY DONE.

39
00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:38,359
VERY BEAUTIFUL.

40
00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:41,295
I'M SO TIRED.

41
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,264
YOU HAVEN'T BEEN
SLEEPING THIS WEEK?

42
00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:45,733
NO, NOT AT ALL.

43
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:48,602
BETWEEN MY ANXIETY

44
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:50,338
AND MY LYMPHOMA

45
00:02:50,438 --> 00:02:52,706
THERE'S JUST NEVER
A GOOD TIME.

46
00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:56,577
THAT WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE A JOKE.

47
00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:59,747
- WAS IT FUNNY?
- I DON'T THINK SO.

48
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:03,684
YEAH...
NEITHER DO I.

49
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:13,661
CAN I JUST--
DO YOU MIND?

50
00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:17,498
( sighs )

51
00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:19,700
I TRIED SO HARD
TO SLEEP LAST NIGHT.

52
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:23,304
IT WAS 2:00 A.M.,
I WAS OUT OF IDEAS

53
00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:26,006
AND MY HANDS WERE
SHAKING SO BADLY.

54
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:28,141
I WAS AFRAID
I'D WRECK THE WHOLE THING

55
00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:30,210
IF I TRIED
TO KEEP WORKING ON IT,

56
00:03:30,311 --> 00:03:32,313
SO I PUT IT IN THE BOX.

57
00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:36,016
I CHANGED MY SHEETS,
I LIT CANDLES,

58
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:37,851
PUT ON MUSIC.

59
00:03:40,488 --> 00:03:42,856
IT SOUNDS LIKE I WAS
TRYING TO SEDUCE MYSELF.

60
00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:44,525
( chuckles )

61
00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:47,661
SO DID YOU EVENTUALLY
FALL ASLEEP?

62
00:03:49,297 --> 00:03:51,098
I COULDN'T.

63
00:03:51,198 --> 00:03:53,367
MY HEART WAS RACING

64
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:56,904
AND IT FELT LIKE--
I DON'T KNOW.

65
00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:59,106
IT FELT LIKE IT WASN'T BLOOD
RUNNING THROUGH MY VEINS,

66
00:03:59,206 --> 00:04:02,476
IT WAS SOMETHING ELSE--
FIRE, POISON.

67
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:05,479
IT-- I JUST--
I WANTED

68
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,282
TO OPEN MYSELF UP
AND GET IT ALL OUT SOMEHOW--

69
00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:11,819
SLIT MY WRISTS
OR TAKE OFF MY OWN HEAD.

70
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:14,021
NO, I--

71
00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:16,424
I WOULD NEVER.
DON'T WORRY.

72
00:04:16,524 --> 00:04:20,428
I'M JUST TRYING TO
DESCRIBE HOW IT FELT.

73
00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:23,130
IT SOUNDS LIKE
A TERRIBLE NIGHT.

74
00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:25,232
I CAN'T HAVE
ANOTHER ONE LIKE THAT.

75
00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:27,301
I WILL LOSE MY MIND.

76
00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:31,739
WHEN YOU SAID THAT
THE POISON WAS RUNNING
THROUGH YOUR VEINS,

77
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:33,774
CAN I TELL YOU WHAT
I THOUGHT OF IMMEDIATELY?

78
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:36,510
- CHEMO.
- CANCER.

79
00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:39,980
- SAME THING.
- NO, IT ISN'T.

80
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,651
YOU CAN CHOOSE
NOT TO HAVE CHEMO.

81
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:49,457
OKAY.  TOUCHE.

82
00:04:49,557 --> 00:04:51,191
I HAD THIS THOUGHT
LAST NIGHT--

83
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,827
I JUST KEPT
THINKING IT OVER AND OVER.

84
00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:56,730
IT USED TO HAPPEN TO ME
A LOT WHEN I WAS A KID.

85
00:04:58,265 --> 00:05:00,534
THE SUMMER BEFORE
I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL,

86
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,503
I GOT THIS SONG
STUCK IN MY HEAD

87
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:04,638
AND I COULDN'T
GET IT OUT.

88
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:07,207
I REALLY THOUGHT
I WAS GOING INSANE.

89
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,042
WHAT DO YOU THINK
IT WOULD FEEL LIKE

90
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,679
TO GO INSANE?

91
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:13,681
LIKE FALLING...

92
00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:15,749
INTO NOTHING.

93
00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:22,956
CAN WE NOT TALK
ABOUT LOSING MY MIND?

94
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:25,793
WOULD YOU LIKE TO
TELL ME ABOUT THE THOUGHT
THAT YOU HAD LAST NIGHT,

95
00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:28,696
THE ONE THAT YOU COULDN'T
GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD?

96
00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:32,366
I WANTED TO GO HOME.

97
00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:36,704
I REALLY WISHED
I COULD GO HOME.

98
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,940
AND THEN I THOUGHT

99
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,142
"YOU CAN'T GO HOME.

100
00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:45,145
YOUR HOME IS
SO LONG AGO

101
00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:47,347
AND SO FAR AWAY."

102
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:49,717
AND THEN
I JUST KEPT THINKING

103
00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:52,019
"YOUR HOME IS
SO LONG AGO

104
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:54,488
AND SO FAR AWAY.

105
00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:56,490
YOUR HOME IS
SO LONG AGO

106
00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:59,192
AND SO FAR AWAY."

107
00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:01,462
AND THIS HOME
THAT YOU'RE--

108
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:03,964
THAT YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT,
WHERE IS IT?

109
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:06,634
OR WAS IT?

110
00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:10,604
CAN I--

111
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,873
CAN I TELL YOU
IN A MOMENT?

112
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:15,008
I MEAN...

113
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:18,479
CAN I JUST--
I JUST NEED TO CLOSE
MY EYES FOR A SECOND.

114
00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:20,948
I'M SO TIRED.

115
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:24,351
WHAT TIME IS IT?

116
00:06:24,452 --> 00:06:27,455
- 8:00.
- REALLY? ALREADY?

117
00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:29,757
WELL, IT'S...

118
00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:32,760
7:59 ACTUALLY.

119
00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:36,263
PERFECT.

120
00:06:36,363 --> 00:06:39,232
COULD YOU--
COULD YOU WAKE ME

121
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:41,101
AT 8:00.
WOULD YOU MIND?

122
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,704
SURE.

123
00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:16,570
APRIL.

124
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,687
APRIL.

125
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:39,627
( whispers )
APRIL, WAKE UP.

126
00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:42,696
WAKE UP, APRIL.

127
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:48,569
APRIL.

128
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:51,939
APRIL, WAKE UP.

129
00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:01,481
WHAT TIME IS IT?

130
00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:05,853
IT'S 8:00.

131
00:08:09,557 --> 00:08:11,091
GOOD.

132
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,926
IT'S OVER.

133
00:08:14,562 --> 00:08:16,997
THIS PROJECT WAS
DUE YESTERDAY

134
00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:18,632
BUT MY PROFESSOR SAID

135
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:21,802
WE HAD UNTIL
8:00 IN THE MORNING
TO TURN IT IN.

136
00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:34,748
( breathing heavily )

137
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:24,732
IT WAS HIDEOUS.

138
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:27,635
IT LOOKS BETTER NOW.

139
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:30,337
PAUL:
WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?

140
00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:32,305
APRIL:
IT DIDN'T WORK AT ALL.

141
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,675
THE DIMENSIONS
WERE ALL OFF.

142
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:38,145
I RELIED TOO MUCH
ON NEGATIVE SPACE.

143
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:41,081
IT WAS JUST
SITTING THERE.

144
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:43,316
I COULDN'T
MAKE IT SOAR.

145
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,789
I HAVE TO
TELL YOU, IT'S--

146
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:53,727
IT'S VERY HARD
TO SEE YOU DESTROY
YOUR OWN WORK.

147
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,265
I DID--

148
00:09:58,365 --> 00:09:59,733
I DID FALL ASLEEP
LAST NIGHT.

149
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,669
I JUST REMEMBERED
A DREAM I HAD.

150
00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:05,105
I WAS ON TOP OF THE MODEL,
BUT IT WAS LIFE-SIZE,

151
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:08,408
AND I FELL.
DO YOU EVER GET THOSE?

152
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:10,543
FALLING DREAMS?

153
00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:12,212
SURE.

154
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:14,447
I GET THOSE
ALL THE TIME.

155
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:17,785
AND HOW DO YOU FEEL
WHEN YOU WAKE UP?

156
00:10:17,885 --> 00:10:21,021
I DON'T KNOW.
MY HEART IS POUNDING,

157
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,056
AND I FEEL LIKE--

158
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:25,859
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
HOW TO DESCRIBE IT.

159
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,796
IT'S--
IT'S A KIND OF JOY.

160
00:10:28,896 --> 00:10:30,864
SO, DIFFERENT FROM

161
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:33,533
FALLING INTO NOTHING?

162
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:37,137
- YEAH.
- SO FALLING IS SOMETHING

163
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,707
THAT YOU'RE AFRAID OF

164
00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:43,811
AND YET YOU'RE ATTRACTED
TO IT AT THE SAME TIME.

165
00:10:43,911 --> 00:10:46,479
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

166
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:48,515
WHEN YOU'RE AWAKE,
YOU WORK SO HARD TO KEEP

167
00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:50,550
EVERYBODY AND EVERYTHING
UNDER YOUR CONTROL,

168
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:53,320
SO IN YOUR DREAMS

169
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:56,890
IT MAKES SENSE THAT
YOU FIND YOURSELF
FINALLY FALLING,

170
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,959
RELEASING EVERYTHING,
LETTING EVERYTHING GO,

171
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:00,928
BECAUSE IT'S A KIND
OF FANTASY FOR YOU.

172
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:04,698
WHY-- WHY ARE
YOU TELLING ME THAT?

173
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:06,499
IS THAT SUPPOSED
TO HELP ME?

174
00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:08,368
IT'LL ONLY HELP YOU
IF IT RINGS TRUE.

175
00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:10,103
- IF IT DOESN'T--
- BUT IT'S IN MY HEAD NOW.

176
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:12,572
YOU PUT IT IN MY HEAD.
NOW I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT.

177
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,374
LIKE THAT THOUGHT
THAT YOU HAD LAST NIGHT.

178
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,009
- WHAT?
- YOU STARTED THINKING

179
00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:17,610
ABOUT SOMETHING
AND YOU CAN'T STOP.

180
00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:19,980
YOUR THOUGHTS
BECOME OBSESSIVE.

181
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:24,818
DON'T SAY THAT.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

182
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:29,422
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN
ON A SUBWAY CAR
THAT BREAKS DOWN

183
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,825
AND THERE'S SOME GUY--

184
00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:35,195
SOME SHY-LOOKING KID
WHO STARTS REPEATING
SOMETHING TO HIMSELF

185
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:38,098
OVER AND OVER, LIKE,
"7:15, 59th AND LEX.

186
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,533
7:15, 59th AND LEX,"
OVER AND OVER,

187
00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:44,237
LOUDER AND LOUDER
UNTIL JUST SAYING
THE WORDS ISN'T ENOUGH

188
00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:48,008
AND HE STARTS
HITTING HIMSELF
AND THRASHING AROUND

189
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:50,477
AND FINALLY HAS TO BE
SUBDUED AND TRANQUILIZED?

190
00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:53,446
THAT IS WHAT
IT MEANS TO HAVE
OBSESSIVE THOUGHTS.

191
00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:58,251
I JUST LIKE THINKING
THINGS THROUGH.

192
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,555
YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT YOUR BROTHER.

193
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:05,025
I'VE NOTICED THAT
YOU'RE CONSTANTLY

194
00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:07,460
TRYING TO FEEL
WHAT HE FEELS.

195
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,562
WELL, HE CAN'T DESCRIBE
HOW HE FEELS,

196
00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:12,699
SO HE NEEDS SOMEONE
TO INTERPRET IT FOR HIM.

197
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,701
YOUR EMPATHY IS--

198
00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:16,103
IT'S ADMIRABLE, APRIL.

199
00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:20,540
BUT IT CAN BE
REALLY DRAINING

200
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:25,045
TRYING TO FEEL
EVERYONE ELSE'S FEELINGS
AS WELL AS YOUR OWN.

201
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:30,350
MAYBE INSTEAD
OF YOUR OWN.

202
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,960
I DON'T--
I'M SORRY

203
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:41,995
FOR LOSING MY TEMPER.

204
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:45,799
YOU DON'T HAVE TO
APOLOGIZE TO ME.

205
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:54,407
I DID FALL OUT
OF A BUILDING ONCE.

206
00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:55,909
WHEN?

207
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:59,146
WE WERE
ON VACATION IN MIAMI.

208
00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:01,181
I WAS ONLY 10.

209
00:13:02,682 --> 00:13:05,819
MY MOTHER IS
OBSESSED WITH CUBA--

210
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:08,922
CUBAN MUSIC,

211
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:11,024
CUBAN FOOD,
CUBAN CULTURE.

212
00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:14,995
ANYWAY,
WE WERE DOWN THERE

213
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:17,430
WITHOUT MY BROTHER.

214
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:18,932
WE LEFT HIM--

215
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:20,934
FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER,
I THINK--

216
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:22,602
WITH MY GRANDPARENTS;

217
00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:25,105
JUST ME AND MY FOLKS.

218
00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:27,040
I REMEMBER
THIS ONE NIGHT

219
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:30,177
THERE WAS A BAND PLAYING
CUBAN MUSIC DOWN BELOW

220
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:33,780
AND MY PARENTS
STARTED TO DANCE

221
00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:37,484
RIGHT THERE
IN THE HOTEL ROOM.

222
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:39,619
I WENT OVER
TO THE WINDOW

223
00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:42,055
SO THAT I COULD
WATCH THEM DANCE

224
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:45,492
AND FEEL THE BREEZE
FROM THE OCEAN

225
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,560
ON MY BACK
AT THE SAME TIME.

226
00:13:49,863 --> 00:13:54,467
SOMEHOW--
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
HOW IT HAPPENED--

227
00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:58,338
I FELL OUT THE WINDOW.

228
00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:02,109
I MUST'VE JUST
LEANED BACK AND FALLEN.

229
00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:05,946
I LANDED ON THE--
WHAT'S THE WORD?

230
00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:08,982
--THE AWNING
ONE FLOOR BELOW.

231
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:11,551
I MEAN, I WAS FINE.
I JUST LAID THERE
FOR A SECOND,

232
00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:13,786
I LOOKED UP
AT THE WINDOW

233
00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:15,956
AND THEN I SLID OFF

234
00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:18,225
AND LANDED
ON THE SIDEWALK.

235
00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:21,594
DO YOU REMEMBER
FEELING FRIGHTENED?

236
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:26,033
I REMEMBER

237
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:28,801
AS SOON AS MY FEET
HIT THE SIDEWALK

238
00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:32,405
I STARTED TO BAWL.

239
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:35,042
THEN I WALKED BACK
INTO THE HOTEL AND
I RODE THE ELEVATOR UP.

240
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,845
I LOOKED
IN THE MIRROR

241
00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:41,148
AND I MADE MYSELF
STOP CRYING.

242
00:14:41,248 --> 00:14:43,383
SO YOU COULD
STOP CRYING,

243
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:45,752
JUST-- JUST LIKE THAT?

244
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:47,921
I JUST LOOKED
AT MYSELF AND I SAID,

245
00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:50,857
"APRIL,
YOU HAVE TO STOP,"

246
00:14:50,958 --> 00:14:52,892
AND I DID.

247
00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:55,528
I CAN STILL DO THAT.

248
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:00,900
WHEN I WALKED BACK
INTO THE ROOM,

249
00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:03,670
MY MOTHER...

250
00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:06,173
HAD HER HEAD
ON MY DAD'S SHOULDER.

251
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:09,209
THEY WERE STILL DANCING

252
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:11,544
THEY HADN'T NOTICED
YOU WERE GONE?

253
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:15,148
NO.

254
00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:19,352
WHY DID YOU
HAVE TO STOP CRYING?

255
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:22,155
- WHAT?
- I MEAN, YOU WERE
10 YEARS OF AGE,

256
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,057
YOU HAD FALLEN
OUT THE WINDOW.

257
00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:25,792
WHY COULDN'T YOU CRY
TO YOUR MOTHER?

258
00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:28,828
SHE WAS SO HAPPY.

259
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:33,600
THE WAY SHE HELD
MY FATHER IN THAT ROOM,

260
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,802
THE WAY THEY SWAYED,

261
00:15:35,902 --> 00:15:40,173
MY MOTHER CLOSED
HER EYES AS THEY SWAYED.

262
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:43,110
MY MOTHER NEVER
CLOSES HER EYES.

263
00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:47,247
- WHY NOT?
- SHE CAN'T TAKE THEM
OFF DANIEL.

264
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:53,053
I'M NOT
AN EMPATHETIC PERSON.
I'M REALLY NOT.

265
00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:00,994
YOU ASKED ME WHERE

266
00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:03,630
HOME WAS FOR ME.

267
00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:08,001
IT WAS THERE

268
00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:11,204
IN MIAMI. THAT--

269
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:14,541
THAT'S THE PLACE
I WANT TO GO BACK TO--

270
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:17,177
THAT ROOM

271
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:20,447
- WITH MY PARENTS.
- WITHOUT DANIEL.

272
00:16:20,547 --> 00:16:22,715
RIGHT.

273
00:16:24,217 --> 00:16:26,453
DID YOU EVER READ
THAT BOOK "ON THE BEACH"?

274
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:29,122
IT'S ABOUT
THE NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST

275
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:32,425
AND THESE PEOPLE ARE
WAITING FOR THE RADIATION

276
00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:34,894
TO REACH AUSTRALIA,

277
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,863
BUT THEY'RE HAPPY.

278
00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:39,199
THEY FALL IN LOVE.

279
00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:41,368
THEY BUY BENCHES
FOR THEIR GARDENS.

280
00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:44,771
THEY DON'T THINK
ABOUT THE FUTURE.

281
00:16:46,406 --> 00:16:48,975
I WAS READING THAT
WHILE WE WERE DOWN THERE.

282
00:16:49,076 --> 00:16:51,111
YOU WERE READING
THAT BOOK AT AGE 10?

283
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:53,346
I USED TO
BE PRECOCIOUS.

284
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:56,516
AND THAT'S WHAT
I HAD HOPED WOULD HAPPEN--

285
00:16:58,218 --> 00:17:00,387
A NUCLEAR WAR
WOULD DESTROY

286
00:17:00,487 --> 00:17:02,522
EVERYTHING ELSE
IN THE WORLD,

287
00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:07,694
AND WE COULD JUST
STAY ON THE BEACH.

288
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:10,930
WE COULDN'T STAY.

289
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,466
WE HAD TO GET BACK.

290
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:19,306
DANIEL HAD STOPPED EATING,
GONE BACK TO HITTING HIMSELF.

291
00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:22,542
MY GRANDPARENTS CALLED
IN A PANIC.

292
00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:26,179
MY MOTHER WENT
TO THE AIRPORT AND GOT
THE NEXT FLIGHT HOME.

293
00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:29,282
MY DAD AND I DROVE
BACK THAT NIGHT.

294
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,918
DANIEL WOULDN'T
EVEN LOOK AT US.

295
00:17:32,018 --> 00:17:34,187
HE COULDN'T SPEAK.

296
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:37,357
IT WAS LIKE WE HAD
SET HIM BACK THREE YEARS.

297
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:43,230
MY MOTHER NEVER FORGAVE
HERSELF FOR THAT TRIP.

298
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,998
APRIL...

299
00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:47,934
YOU ARE
AN EMPATHIC PERSON--

300
00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:50,069
THE WAY YOU TALK
ABOUT YOUR BROTHER,

301
00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:52,071
THE COMPASSION
YOU FEEL FOR HIM.

302
00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:54,141
BUT YOU CAN BE
AN EMPATHIC PERSON

303
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:56,176
AND STILL FEEL
CONTRADICTORY EMOTIONS,

304
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:58,178
STILL FEEL ANGER,

305
00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:00,947
STILL FEEL JEALOUSY.

306
00:18:01,047 --> 00:18:04,417
WHY-- WHY WOULD
I BE JEALOUS OF DANIEL?

307
00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:07,687
MAYBE BECAUSE
YOUR MOTHER NEVER
CLOSES HER EYES TO HIM.

308
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,859
DANIEL WAS ALLOWED
TO SHOW YOUR PARENTS
HOW HE WAS FEELING.

309
00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:15,428
WHEN HE GOT UPSET,
HURT OR SCARED,
THEY KNEW IT,

310
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:17,130
WHEREAS YOU HAD
TO BE PERFECT.

311
00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:19,399
YOU FELL OUT A WINDOW
AND YOUR MOTHER HAD NO IDEA.

312
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:21,934
YOU CAN'T BLAME HER
FOR THAT.

313
00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:23,603
JESUS, DON'T TALK
ABOUT HER LIKE THAT.

314
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:27,039
- HOW AM I TALKING ABOUT HER?
- AS IF SHE WAS A BAD MOTHER.

315
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:28,775
SHE'S A GREAT MOTHER.

316
00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:30,610
SHE GAVE ME
MY CONFIDENCE,

317
00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:33,846
TOLD ME HOW SMART I WAS.
SHE MADE ME FEEL

318
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,748
- LIKE I COULD DO ANYTHING.
- BUT MAYBE AS A CHILD,

319
00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:37,750
YOU TOOK THAT TO MEAN
THAT YOU SHOULDN'T
DEPEND ON HER

320
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,852
THAT YOU SHOULD
TAKE CARE OF IT
ALL ON YOUR OWN.

321
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,588
- I'M NOT GOING TO DO THIS.
- WHAT ARE YOU NOT GOING TO DO?

322
00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:44,257
SLAM MY MOTHER.
SHE MAY NOT HAVE
BEEN PERFECT,

323
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:46,859
BUT SHE DID HER BEST.
SHE COULD HAVE BEEN

324
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,528
A PROFESSIONAL BALLERINA.

325
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,663
SHE TRAINED AT JUILLIARD,
BUT SHE GAVE ALL OF THAT UP

326
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:53,132
SO THAT DANIEL COULD
HAVE SOME SEMBLANCE
OF A NORMAL LIFE...

327
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:57,069
- I UNDERSTAND THAT.
- ...THAT HE COULD

328
00:18:57,170 --> 00:18:59,472
NOT FEEL
LIKE SUCH A FREAK.

329
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:02,442
SO DON'T SIT THERE
AND TELL ME SHE MADE
ALL THESE MISTAKES.

330
00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:05,212
- I'M NOT. I'M--
- SHE DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE.

331
00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:07,113
APRIL, I'M NOT ATTACKING
YOUR MOTHER.

332
00:19:07,214 --> 00:19:08,615
I'M JUST TRYING
TO UNDERSTAND

333
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:10,250
WHY YOU CAN'T TELL HER
THAT YOU'RE SICK.

334
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:12,385
WELL, HOW MUCH MORE
CAN SHE TAKE?

335
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,321
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT
THAT SHE HAD TO DEAL
WITH DANIEL.

336
00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:16,389
LATELY DANIEL HAS BEEN
DOING SO MUCH BETTER.

337
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,725
SHE FINALLY HAS
SOME TIME ON HER HANDS.

338
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:21,394
HE'S LIVING
IN THIS GROUP SITUATION,

339
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:23,763
HE'S GOT A JOB
AT THE LIBRARY
STACKING BOOKS,

340
00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:26,866
AND SHE HAS STARTED
TO TEACH A DANCE CLASS
FOR LITTLE KIDS.

341
00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:30,169
I WENT TO MEET HER THERE.
SHE IS HAVING SUCH
A GREAT TIME.

342
00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:32,038
I AM NOT GONNA TAKE
THAT AWAY FROM HER.

343
00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:34,040
DO YOU THINK THAT
BEING SICK WILL DO THAT?

344
00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:35,808
SHE WOULD STOP
TEACHING THE CLASS.

345
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:38,044
SHE'D THINK SHE HAS
TO DROP EVERYTHING
TO TAKE CARE OF ME.

346
00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:39,479
MAYBE THAT'S OKAY
IF SHE DOES.

347
00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:41,414
MAYBE SHE SHOULD STOP
TEACHING FOR A WHILE

348
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,650
TO HELP TAKE CARE
OF YOU FOR A LITTLE BIT.

349
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:45,685
NO.  NO, SHE IS
FINALLY GETTING THE CHANCE
TO LIVE A LITTLE.  NO.

350
00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:48,388
APRIL, I RESPECT
YOUR WANTING TO
PROTECT YOUR MOTHER,

351
00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:50,290
BUT I THINK
AT A DEEPER LEVEL

352
00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:51,958
YOU'RE ALSO TRYING
TO PROTECT YOURSELF

353
00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:54,827
FROM SEEING
YOUR MOTHER'S
FEAR FOR YOU,

354
00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:57,029
FROM FEELING HOW MUCH
DANGER YOU'RE IN.

355
00:19:57,129 --> 00:19:59,332
YOU SAY THAT
YOU WANT TO PROTECT HER,

356
00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:01,468
BUT SURELY YOU KNOW
THAT IF YOU WERE TO DIE--

357
00:20:01,568 --> 00:20:04,937
IF YOU WERE TO DIE,
SHE WOULD NEVER--

358
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,507
AND I KNOW THIS.
I CAN TELL YOU THIS
AS A FATHER--

359
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:10,577
IF THAT HAPPENED TO ME,
I WOULD NEVER EVER RECOVER.

360
00:20:12,111 --> 00:20:15,181
LISTEN TO ME.
YOU HAVE TO BEGIN
CHEMO IMMEDIATELY.

361
00:20:15,282 --> 00:20:16,783
I THINK THE REASON
YOU HAVEN'T

362
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:19,352
IS BECAUSE YOU'RE SCARED
TO GO THROUGH IT ALONE.

363
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:22,622
IS THERE ANYONE
YOU CAN IMAGINE
YOURSELF TELLING?

364
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:25,625
ANYONE WHO YOU WOULD WANT
TO BE THERE WITH YOU?

365
00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:28,428
- I CAN'T.
- YOU CAN.

366
00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:30,530
IT'S TOO HORRIBLE.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY?

367
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:33,400
HOW AM I SUPPOSED
TO TELL HER THAT
HER DAUGHTER--

368
00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:36,202
YOU MEAN YOU. YOU.

369
00:20:36,303 --> 00:20:40,206
--THAT I HAVE CANCER?

370
00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:42,909
NO, I CAN'T.
IT'S TOO HORRIBLE.

371
00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:44,944
HORRIBLE AS IT IS,

372
00:20:45,044 --> 00:20:47,747
NOT TELLING HER
IS MORE HORRIBLE.

373
00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:53,786
WHEN YOU SAY IT,
IT MAKES SENSE--

374
00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:57,957
JUST PICK UP THE PHONE
AND TELL HER.

375
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:01,694
BUT I KNOW THAT
ONCE I LEAVE HERE,

376
00:21:01,794 --> 00:21:03,029
I WON'T BE ABLE TO.

377
00:21:03,129 --> 00:21:04,897
CALL HER
FROM HERE THEN.

378
00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:07,867
- NOW?
- GO AHEAD.

379
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,939
SHE'LL JUST
BE LEAVING FOR WORK.

380
00:21:34,193 --> 00:21:36,062
CAN I--

381
00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:38,831
CAN I USE
YOUR PHONE AGAIN?

382
00:21:44,070 --> 00:21:45,938
OF COURSE.

383
00:22:00,453 --> 00:22:03,055
I PRESUME YOU WANT
THE ROOM AGAIN?

384
00:22:46,065 --> 00:22:48,401
( door opens )

385
00:22:50,136 --> 00:22:53,339
- THANK YOU.
- HOW'D IT GO?

386
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:55,141
SHE WAS IN THE CAR.

387
00:22:55,241 --> 00:22:57,877
SHE WANTED
TO CALL ME BACK--

388
00:22:57,977 --> 00:23:00,780
IT'S ILLEGAL
TO TALK AND DRIVE
AT THE SAME TIME.

389
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:04,517
WITH MY DAD IN THE ARMY,
SHE FOLLOWS THE LAW.

390
00:23:07,554 --> 00:23:10,256
YOU CAN STAY HERE
FOR 10 MINUTES

391
00:23:10,356 --> 00:23:12,892
- AND CALL HER BACK.
- NO, I'M SO TIRED.

392
00:23:12,992 --> 00:23:16,796
I'M GONNA TAKE
A NAP AND CALL HER
WHEN I GET UP.

393
00:23:16,896 --> 00:23:18,431
OKAY.

394
00:23:18,531 --> 00:23:20,933
WILL YOU CALL ME AFTER
YOU'VE SPOKEN TO HER?

395
00:23:21,033 --> 00:23:23,570
OKAY.

396
00:23:32,211 --> 00:23:34,814
( theme music playing )