1 00:00:05,773 --> 00:00:08,676 Man: PREVIOUSLY ON "IN TREATMENT"... 2 00:00:08,776 --> 00:00:11,312 YOU KNOW, YOU'VE NEVER ONCE TAKEN RESPONSIBILITY 3 00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:13,081 FOR WHAT YOU DID? YOU NEVER ONCE SAID, 4 00:00:13,181 --> 00:00:14,948 "I'M SORRY. I MADE A MISTAKE." 5 00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:16,717 HE'S OBVIOUSLY NOT WILLING TO FORGIVE ME 6 00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:19,019 BECAUSE HE HASN'T MADE UP HIS MIND ABOUT THIS OTHER WOMAN YET. 7 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:20,888 BY THE WAY, ANOTHER THING WE HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT-- 8 00:00:20,988 --> 00:00:23,757 WHAT KIND OF MOTHER YOU'VE BEEN. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT? 9 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:27,195 YOU SHOULD REALLY BE QUIET RIGHT NOW, 'CAUSE YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF. 10 00:00:27,295 --> 00:00:29,363 GINA, YOU SAID THAT I MIGHT'VE PUSHED 11 00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:33,467 KATE INTO HER AFFAIR BECAUSE OF MY FEELINGS FOR LAURA. 12 00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:34,868 MAYBE IT'S THE OTHER WAY AROUND. 13 00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:36,804 YOU'RE BOTH GOING THROUGH SOMETHING. 14 00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:38,872 SHE'S STRUGGLING WITH A DYNAMIC 15 00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:40,974 THAT EXISTED BEFORE YOU MET 16 00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:43,544 AND YOU'RE LOOKING FOR THAT YOUNGER WOMAN 17 00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:46,614 WHO LOOKS UP TO YOU THE WAY KATE USED TO. 18 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:49,817 OH, THAT'S GREAT. THAT'S JUST REALLY GREAT. 19 00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:56,023 - HI, GINA. - HI, PAUL. 20 00:00:56,124 --> 00:00:58,459 HOW ARE YOU? 21 00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:02,396 SO, OBVIOUSLY KATE ISN'T COMING TODAY. 22 00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:04,365 YES, SHE LEFT ME A MESSAGE. 23 00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:07,135 SHE REALLY DIDN'T GO INTO WHY THOUGH. 24 00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:10,438 SHE SAID SHE WAS TIRED OF GOING BACK AND FORTH 25 00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:12,940 AND SHE'S TIRED OF TRYING TO FIND OUT 26 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,075 WHO STARTED WHAT AND WHO WAS GUILTY OF WHAT 27 00:01:15,176 --> 00:01:16,677 AND WHO'S REACTING TO WHAT. 28 00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:20,248 SHE WANTS TO DECIDE ON HER OWN, BASICALLY. 29 00:01:21,549 --> 00:01:23,684 WELL, I HAVE TO RESPECT THAT. 30 00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:26,287 ( theme music playing ) 31 00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:45,406 HOW DO YOU THINK OUR SESSIONS WITH KATE WENT? 32 00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:47,541 I'D SAY THEY WERE CHAOTIC. 33 00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:49,310 I WAS A LITTLE ANNOYED WITH YOU OVER THAT, 34 00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:52,246 BUT I SUPPOSE I'M PARTLY AT FAULT TOO. 35 00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:55,015 AND I ALSO THINK THAT SHE FELT SANDWICHED 36 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,318 BETWEEN TWO THERAPISTS. 37 00:01:57,418 --> 00:01:59,387 I DO HAVE TO SAY, THOUGH, 38 00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:01,755 THAT YOU DID MANAGE TO MAKE CONNECTIONS 39 00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:04,958 THAT RESONATED WITH BOTH OF US, ESPECIALLY WITH KATE. 40 00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:07,761 WHETHER ANYTHING IS GONNA COME OF THAT OR NOT, I DON'T-- 41 00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:10,231 I DON'T REALLY KNOW. 42 00:02:10,331 --> 00:02:15,102 MMM. YOU KNOW WHO I ENVY? 43 00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:17,405 WRITERS. THEY CREATE THESE CHARACTERS 44 00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:19,106 THAT THEY WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH, 45 00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:21,609 AND THEN THEY DECIDE IF THEY'RE GONNA 46 00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:23,143 LET THEM LIVE OR DIE 47 00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:25,979 OR LET THEM BE HAPPY OR UNHAPPY, 48 00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:28,416 LET THEM BE FAILURES OR SUCCESSES. 49 00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:30,451 YOU MEAN YOU WANT TO WRITE EVERYBODY'S STORY FOR THEM? 50 00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:34,087 ( chuckles ) MIND YOU, I THINK I'D BE A SHITTY WRITER. 51 00:02:34,188 --> 00:02:36,624 I'D WANT TO GIVE EVERYBODY A HAPPY ENDING. 52 00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:43,931 PAUL... 53 00:02:44,031 --> 00:02:46,400 I'M VERY SORRY ABOUT YOUR PATIENT. 54 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,502 ALEX. 55 00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:53,774 YEAH. THANKS. 56 00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:57,345 NOT THE ENDING I WOULD HAVE WRITTEN FOR HIM. 57 00:02:57,445 --> 00:02:59,179 ( sighs ) THE FUNERAL-- JESUS CHRIST, 58 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,415 I'D FORGOTTEN HOW AWFUL FUNERALS ARE. 59 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:04,218 THAT DREADFUL SENSE THAT-- 60 00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:07,788 THAT IN THE END THERE'S ONLY SILENCE. 61 00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:12,192 YOU'D THINK AS THERAPISTS, WE'D HAVE BETTER TOOLS TO WORK THROUGH IT. 62 00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:16,664 WELL, I DON'T. I FEEL THE SAME SENSE OF... 63 00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:20,968 FUTILITY AND HOPELESSNESS AS THE NEXT GUY. 64 00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:23,103 YOU KNOW, WHAT'S ALSO INTERESTING IS SEEING THE RELATIVES 65 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,639 OF PATIENTS THAT YOU'VE TREATED. 66 00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:29,076 THE PARTICIPANTS IN THE STORIES THAT YOU'VE HEARD DOZENS OF TIMES-- 67 00:03:29,176 --> 00:03:31,979 THE FATHER, THE SON, THE BROTHER-- WHOEVER. 68 00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,147 WE THINK WE KNOW THEM, 69 00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:35,816 BUT WE DON'T REALLY KNOW THEM AT ALL. 70 00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:39,387 WE KNOW REACTIONS TO THEM OR VERSIONS OF THEM-- 71 00:03:39,487 --> 00:03:42,723 IDEALIZED OR VILIFIED. 72 00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:45,559 AND I WAS REALLY STRUGGLING TO RECONCILE THIS IMAGE 73 00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,595 THAT I HAD OF ALEX'S WIFE 74 00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:49,763 WITH THE WOMAN THAT I SAW THERE. 75 00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:52,566 HE ALWAYS DESCRIBED HER AS DEMANDING, EXACTING, 76 00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:55,436 A CONSTANT SORT OF PRESSURE IN HIS LIFE. 77 00:03:55,536 --> 00:03:57,738 BUT I LOOKED OVER AND I JUST SAW THIS... 78 00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:03,611 BROKEN WOMAN. 79 00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:06,480 SHE SEEMED SO SOFT AND GENTLE. 80 00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,882 GUESS I'LL NEVER REALLY KNOW HER NOW. 81 00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:11,985 - DOES THAT BOTHER YOU? - IT DOES BOTHER ME. 82 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,754 I ASK MYSELF ALL THE TIME 83 00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:16,824 IF I ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT I THINK I KNOW ABOUT MY PATIENTS' LIVES. 84 00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:18,792 THAT COUPLE, FOR EXAMPLE, 85 00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:22,930 THE ONES WHO WERE TRYING TO HAVE THE BABY. 86 00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:26,266 AMY-- I DON'T THINK SHE CAN EVER REALLY BE KNOWN. 87 00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:30,203 I MEAN, THERE ARE CERTAIN PATTERNS THAT IDENTIFY THEMSELVES 88 00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:33,607 FROM HER PAST, BUT I CANNOT... 89 00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:35,476 SHRINK HER. 90 00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:37,478 SHE'S TOO COMPLICATED. 91 00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:39,212 AND THEN I SAY TO MYSELF 92 00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:41,649 "DO I REALLY KNOW ANY OF THESE PEOPLE, 93 00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:45,252 OR ARE THEY ALL JUST ONE BIG FICTION 94 00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:48,489 THAT I'VE CONSTRUCTED IN MY HEAD?" YOU KNOW? 95 00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:50,958 SOMETIMES I DREAM ABOUT THE FAMILY MEMBERS 96 00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:54,595 OF PATIENTS THAT I'M TREATING, PEOPLE I'VE NEVER MET. 97 00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:56,764 YOU KNOW, IT'S CURIOUS. 98 00:04:56,864 --> 00:05:01,134 APART FROM YOUR INTENSE CONNECTION WITH YOUR PATIENTS, 99 00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:03,571 YOU'RE ALSO NOW TALKING ABOUT 100 00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:07,741 A LONGING FOR YOUR PATIENTS' FAMILY AND FRIENDS. 101 00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:10,511 ( sighs ) WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT, "A LONGING"? 102 00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:13,080 MAYBE THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT WORD. 103 00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:17,117 DO YOU MEAN CURIOSITY ABOUT THE LIVES OF OTHER PEOPLE? 104 00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:19,052 ISN'T THAT AN ASPECT OF WHAT WE DO? 105 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,021 IT'S JUST-- IT'S CURIOSITY. 106 00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:24,525 WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FASCINATED BY HOW PEOPLE BEHAVE, 107 00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:28,429 AT LEAST-- AT LEAST I THINK SO. 108 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,536 ALEX'S DEATH LEFT ME WITH THIS VERY STRONG FEELING 109 00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:39,607 THAT I WAS LIKE A REPOSITORY, REALLY, A TRUSTEE. 110 00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:44,478 THERE WERE THINGS THAT HE NEVER TOLD ANYBODY ELSE, 111 00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:47,214 HIS PRIVATE THOUGHTS, AND THEY'VE STAYED WITH ME. 112 00:05:47,314 --> 00:05:49,249 THEY'RE INSIDE ME. 113 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:53,421 A BIG PART OF HIS LIFE IS IN THIS VAULT I HAVE INSIDE ME. 114 00:05:53,521 --> 00:05:56,390 A PART OF HIS LIFE MAYBE, 115 00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:58,492 BUT NOT NECESSARILY A BIG PART. 116 00:05:58,592 --> 00:05:59,893 YOU WERE HIS THERAPIST. 117 00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:02,430 - ONLY HIS THERAPIST, YES. - YES. 118 00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:04,665 I KNOW YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN OF TWO MINDS 119 00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:07,735 IN RELATION TO THIS, THAT THERAPY IS 120 00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:10,571 MORE THAN A DISCIPLINE, THAT IT'S ACTUALLY A RELIGION. 121 00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:12,172 BUT YOU ALSO SAY WE'RE THERAPISTS 122 00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:16,143 AND WE CAN'T REALLY RUN OUR PATIENTS' LIVES FOR THEM. 123 00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:19,079 AS SOON AS THEY WALK OUT THE DOOR, THEY'RE ON THEIR OWN, YEAH? 124 00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:27,387 HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE ALEX'S STATE OF MIND 125 00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:29,457 THE LAST TIME YOU SAW HIM? 126 00:06:29,557 --> 00:06:32,426 I WOULD SAY HE WAS PRETTY FRAGILE, VULNERABLE. YEAH. 127 00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:37,030 YOU KNOW, THE IRONIC THING IS THAT WE'D REALLY MADE SOME GOOD PROGRESS, 128 00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:38,699 AND HE JUST SEEMED TO REGRESS. 129 00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:42,369 IT WAS LIKE HE FELT THAT HE WAS SO CLOSE 130 00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:44,538 TO A BREAKTHROUGH THAT IT SCARED HIM. 131 00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:49,009 IT WAS TOO MUCH AND HE JUST... 132 00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:50,911 ГіГі HE TURNED AWAY FROM IT. 133 00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:55,148 ARE YOU FEELING IN ANY WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS DEATH? 134 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,891 ( clears throat ) YOU KNOW, I'M FRIENDLY WITH A PSYCHIATRIST 135 00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:06,393 THAT CONSULTS FOR THE NAVY-- ALFONSO CAILLAS. 136 00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:07,995 - DO YOU REMEMBER HIM? - OH YEAH. 137 00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:10,898 WELL, I ASKED HIM IF HE COULD FIND OUT ANYTHING. 138 00:07:10,998 --> 00:07:12,533 HE SAID VERTIGO. 139 00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:15,536 IT MEANS THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THE EQUIPMENT. 140 00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:17,871 THEY WERE DOING SOME KIND OF COMBAT EXERCISE. 141 00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:20,273 THE PLANE HE WAS CHASING DESCENDED 142 00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:21,642 AND ALEX WENT INTO VERTIGO-- 143 00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:24,912 WHAT THEY CALL VERTIGO-- AND LOST CONTROL. 144 00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:27,114 THAT'S THEIR... 145 00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:29,182 OFFICIAL CONCLUSION. 146 00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:33,987 I THINK HE KILLED HIMSELF. 147 00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:36,356 - HOW CAN YOU BE SURE OF THAT? - LOOK, HIS LIFE WAS... 148 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,225 A TRAGEDY FROM THE SECOND HE WAS BORN-- 149 00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:41,328 HIS CHILDHOOD, HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS FATHER, 150 00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:42,563 RIGHT UP TO THE TIME HE PUSHED THE BUTTON 151 00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:44,231 AND KILLED A ROOMFUL OF KIDS. 152 00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:46,333 HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH THAT? 153 00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:48,636 EVEN WITH THE GADGETS THAT THEY HAVE NOW 154 00:07:48,736 --> 00:07:50,771 THAT REDUCE PEOPLE TO DOTS ON A VIDEO SCREEN, 155 00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:52,540 ALL THE SPIN FROM THE NAVY-- 156 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,207 NONE OF IT MADE ANY DIFFERENCE TO HIM. 157 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,909 IT DIDN'T WORK ON HIM. 158 00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:59,880 HE FELT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE DEATHS. I KNOW HE DID. 159 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:06,654 OH, SO MANY EXPECTATIONS. 160 00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,291 THE BEST AND THE BRIGHTEST. 161 00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:14,695 HMM. AND HE WAS. 162 00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:18,832 HE WAS SO STRONG PHYSICALLY 163 00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:22,335 AND HANDSOME, INTELLIGENT. 164 00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:25,238 AND UNDER ALL THAT KIND OF POSTURING 165 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,174 AND MALE POSING THAT HE DID, 166 00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:29,242 HE WAS REALLY... 167 00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:35,515 HE WAS A GOOD GUY. 168 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:39,219 CHARMING. 169 00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:40,654 HE WAS ENDEARING, YOU KNOW? 170 00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:43,190 HE LOOKED AND HE SOUNDED LIKE... 171 00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:45,258 WHAT THEY CALL A WINNER. 172 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,427 SUDDENLY HE BECOMES A MURDERER. 173 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:50,030 HOW DO YOU RECONCILE THAT? 174 00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,734 I THINK THAT'S WHAT REALLY KILLED HIM. 175 00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:58,238 ENDEARING. I'VE NEVER HEARD YOU TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT. 176 00:08:58,338 --> 00:09:00,373 QUITE THE OPPOSITE. 177 00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:02,309 ACTUALLY, HE WAS KIND OF A FUNNY GUY. 178 00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:05,345 HE WAS... 179 00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:09,449 I DON'T KNOW. AM I ALREADY BEGINNING TO IDEALIZE HIM? 180 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:13,053 - YEAH, MAYBE. - WELL, IT'S NOT UNCOMMON 181 00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:14,922 AFTER SUCH A SHOCK. 182 00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:17,858 HE GAVE ME THE CHANCE TO STOP HIM FROM FLYING. 183 00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:21,461 LITERALLY? DID HE REALLY OFFER THAT OR ARE YOU PROJECTING? 184 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:24,164 HE ASKED ME DIRECTLY, "SHOULD I FLY?" 185 00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:27,400 - WHAT DID YOU SAY? - I TOLD HIM I WAS VERY CONCERNED 186 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:30,003 ABOUT HIS STATE OF MIND. 187 00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:32,505 - YOU SAID THAT CLEARLY? - MM-HMM. 188 00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:35,709 BUT HE WANTED ME TO SAY IT UNEQUIVOCALLY, 189 00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:38,478 - "DO NOT FLY." - IT'S NOT YOUR PLACE, PAUL. 190 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:42,716 A PATIENT CAN'T ASK YOU TO TAKE HIS LIFE INTO YOUR HANDS. 191 00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:45,452 IT'S NOT YOUR PLACE TO SAY, "DON'T FLY" 192 00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:47,855 ANY MORE THAN IT'S YOUR PLACE 193 00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:50,090 TO SAY TO THAT COUPLE, "HAVE AN ABORTION." 194 00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:53,661 OR TO LAURA, "MARRY OR DON'T MARRY YOUR FIANCE." 195 00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:57,130 I SHOULD HAVE SENT THE NAVY AN EVALUATION. 196 00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:59,967 "GUILT-RIDDEN. WANTS TO PUNISH HIMSELF. 197 00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:02,102 SHOULDN'T FLY." 198 00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:05,605 ALEX'S DAD CAME INTO THE OFFICE TO... 199 00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:07,775 HUH, TO TALK. 200 00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:10,610 SO I HAD THIS POOR GUY YELLING AT ME 201 00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:12,946 SAYING THAT HIS SON'S REPRESSION 202 00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:16,083 WAS WHAT HAD KEPT HIM ALIVE ALL THE TIME, 203 00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:19,853 AND THAT THERAPY-- THE STUFF THAT HE WAS DOING WITH ME-- 204 00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:23,824 THAT THERAPY WAS THE THING THAT KILLED HIM. 205 00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:27,560 - OH, GOD, PAUL. - UP IN THE AIR AT MACH 5, 206 00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:29,296 HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE EMOTIONS, 207 00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:30,798 HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO THINK. 208 00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:33,901 THAT'S ACTUALLY WHY HE CRASHED. 209 00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:37,404 ( sighs heavily ) 210 00:10:37,504 --> 00:10:40,207 HE WAS VERY DIFFERENT FROM WHAT I IMAGINED, ALSO. 211 00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:43,777 HE WAS RIDDLED WITH, YOU KNOW, HIS OWN GUILT. 212 00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:47,981 ACTUALLY, HE DID MAKE A COUPLE OF GOOD POINTS. 213 00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:49,917 HE SAID THINGS WERE IN THE UNCONSCIOUS FOR A REASON, 214 00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:52,652 BECAUSE THE MIND CANNOT LIVE 215 00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:54,621 OR BREATHE OR TAKE A SINGLE STEP 216 00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:56,790 IF EVERYTHING THAT LIES DORMANT IN IT 217 00:10:56,890 --> 00:10:59,827 WERE OUT THERE IN DAYLIGHT, FULLY LIT. 218 00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:02,763 A FULLY-CONSCIOUS HUMAN BEING WOULD BE PARALYZED, 219 00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:05,699 WOULD BE LIKE A CRIPPLE. 220 00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:07,600 ALEX DIDN'T NEED TO BE CONSCIOUS, 221 00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:12,405 JUST MERELY EFFICIENT. 222 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:16,609 DO YOU REALLY ACCEPT THAT? THAT LIFE IS BETTER LIVED UNEXAMINED? 223 00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:19,646 AND WHEN-- WHEN ANXIETY, 224 00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:22,115 FEAR AND PAIN BUBBLE UP FROM BELOW, 225 00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:25,585 HOW CAN THAT BE DEALT WITH EXCEPT BY LOOKING AT IT? 226 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,454 EXCEPT BY ANALYZING IT? 227 00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:30,123 BUT WE DON'T RUN THE SHOW, PAUL. 228 00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:33,894 I SOMETIMES THINK THAT THERAPISTS CAN START TO IMAGINE 229 00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:35,695 THEY'RE LIKE WRITERS, 230 00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:38,665 THAT THEY CAN CONTROL THE OUTCOME. 231 00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:40,200 WE DON'T LIVE THEIR LIVES FOR THEM. 232 00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,702 WE DON'T EVEN LIVE THEIR LIVES WITH THEM. 233 00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:44,271 I KNOW THAT YOU WANT TO BELIEVE THAT 234 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:47,808 WE REALLY DO HAVE AN INFLUENCE THAT'S ALWAYS POSITIVE. 235 00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:49,910 WE HELP PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND-- 236 00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:51,278 TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY'RE FEELING. 237 00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,846 AND AFTER THAT, IF THEY MAKE A WRONG TURN, 238 00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:56,083 THEN IT'S NOT OUR FAULT. IT'S HUMAN ERROR. 239 00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:58,185 THA-- ANYWAY... 240 00:11:58,285 --> 00:12:01,454 - WHO ARE YOU REALLY ANGRY AT? - MYSELF, OBVIOUSLY. 241 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,223 YOU. HUH. 242 00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:05,692 EVERY THERAPIST FROM FREUD TO MITCHELL. 243 00:12:05,793 --> 00:12:08,829 - WHY? - BECAUSE... 244 00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:11,264 WE FORCE PATIENTS TO LOOK AT THEMSELVES 245 00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:14,601 AND PAT OURSELVES ON THE BACK FOR IT. 246 00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:17,404 THEN WE SAY TO THEM, "HERE'S WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU. 247 00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:19,206 NOW OFF YOU GO." 248 00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:24,577 - DID YOU FEEL THIS WAY BEFORE ALEX DIED? - MORE OR LESS, YEAH. 249 00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:27,380 HAS IT BEEN ON YOUR MIND RECENTLY IN ANY OTHER CONTEXT? 250 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,749 - LIKE WHAT? - I'M ASKING. 251 00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:32,552 HAVE OTHER PATIENTS OTHER THAN ALEX 252 00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:34,554 - MADE YOU THINK LIKE THIS? - YOU'RE INSINUATING. 253 00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:39,692 NO, I'M JUST TRYING TO GET A SENSE, A HISTORY... 254 00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:42,262 OF THESE FEELINGS ABOUT PSYCHOTHERAPY. 255 00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:44,331 YOU MEAN HAVE I BEEN WONDERING FOR A WHILE 256 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:48,235 IF OUR PROFESSION IS ACTUALLY HELPFUL TO PEOPLE? 257 00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:51,371 YES, I HAVE. I THINK ABOUT IT EVERY DAY. 258 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,575 SO YOU FEEL YOU'RE NOT ABLE TO HELP YOUR PATIENTS? 259 00:12:55,675 --> 00:12:58,778 THE GYMNAST, FOR EXAMPLE-- SOPHIE. 260 00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:01,548 WELL, HONESTLY I FEEL 261 00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:03,016 THAT SHE MADE A LOT OF PROGRESS. 262 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,785 WE CONNECTED. THERE WAS A BOND BETWEEN US. 263 00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:08,255 BUT I THINK IT WAS THE PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP 264 00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:10,523 THAT HELPED HER, NOT THE THERAPEUTIC PROCESS. 265 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,426 YOU KNOW, MAYBE YALOM IS RIGHT. 266 00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:16,930 MAYBE IT IS THE RELATIONSHIP THAT ACTUALLY HEALS. 267 00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:18,999 BUT THAT OTHER COUPLE, JAKE AND AMY, 268 00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:21,168 I CANNOT TELL YOU, HONESTLY, 269 00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:24,905 IF THEY'RE BETTER OFF TOGETHER OR APART. 270 00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:27,875 I DON'T KNOW IF I HELPED THEM AT ALL. 271 00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:31,912 ANYWAY... 272 00:13:34,848 --> 00:13:36,449 ARE YOU OKAY, PAUL? 273 00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:38,919 I THINK I'M TIRED, GINA. 274 00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:42,022 - HERE, PUT YOUR FEET UP. - ( wood scrapes ) 275 00:13:46,093 --> 00:13:47,527 MMM. 276 00:13:55,969 --> 00:14:00,707 YOU KNOW, ALEX, HE WAS TALKING ABOUT VERTIGO 277 00:14:00,807 --> 00:14:03,476 AND HE SAID THAT WHEN IT HAPPENS, 278 00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:06,113 THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO TRUST THEIR INSTRUMENTS 279 00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:08,882 - AND NOT THEIR SENSES. - THAT'S RIGHT. 280 00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:10,450 HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? 281 00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:13,887 I ONCE HAD A BOYFRIEND WHO WAS A COMMERCIAL PILOT. 282 00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:16,023 THIS WAS BEFORE DAVID. 283 00:14:16,123 --> 00:14:18,325 HE TAUGHT ME THAT... 284 00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:21,995 AMONG OTHER THINGS. 285 00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:24,864 ( chuckles ) 286 00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:29,136 YES, PAUL. I HAVE BEEN MORE THAN A SLEEPY SPIDER. 287 00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:30,770 HMM. 288 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,306 - SO IT SEEMS. - MM-HMM. 289 00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:39,146 ANYWAY, I THINK IT'S THE OPPOSITE FOR PSYCHOLOGISTS. 290 00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:41,614 I THINK WE'D BE FAR MORE EFFECTIVE 291 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:45,585 IF WE RELIED LESS ON INSTRUMENTS, THEORIES AND BOOKS 292 00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:47,320 AND MORE ON OUR OWN INSTINCTS. 293 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:51,191 SO ALL YOUR TRAINING, ALL YOUR KNOWLEDGE 294 00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:54,427 - CAN LEAD YOU ASTRAY? - I THINK SO. 295 00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:56,429 DO YOU FEEL THIS GENERALLY 296 00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:58,999 OR ABOUT CERTAIN PATIENTS IN PARTICULAR? 297 00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:01,434 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 298 00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:03,136 WHAT IS IT, GINA? 299 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,105 WHAT? 300 00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:08,475 YOU'VE GOT THAT LOOK OF YOURS. 301 00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:11,844 - WHAT LOOK IS THAT? - YOU HAVE THE LOOK THAT SAYS, 302 00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:13,546 "I HAVE A THEORY." 303 00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:17,484 - REGARDING WHAT? - OH, COME ON, CUT THE CRAP. 304 00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,052 JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. 305 00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:20,753 I'M JUST SITTING HERE LISTENING TO YOU. 306 00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:23,290 I'M LISTENING TO YOUR NEWFOUND THEORIES 307 00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:25,358 ABOUT THE USELESSNESS OF PSYCHOTHERAPY. 308 00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:29,129 "CERTAIN PATIENTS IN PARTICULAR"? 309 00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,732 ( chuckles ) 310 00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:35,935 COME ON, WE'RE BACK TO LAURA AGAIN. 311 00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:38,338 ARE WE? 312 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,540 YOU THINK EVERYTHING IS A REACTION TO LAURA. 313 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:44,011 - WHAT'S A REACTION? - ME CRITICIZING PSYCHOLOGY, 314 00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:46,579 DISMISSING THEORIES. YOU THINK I'M MAKING EXCUSES. 315 00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:50,150 EVEN ALEX GETTING KILLED-- THAT'S AN EXCUSE, RIGHT? 316 00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:52,752 PSYCHOLOGY IS COLLAPSING, 317 00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:54,988 SO I MIGHT AS WELL SLEEP WITH LAURA. 318 00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:57,490 - I THINK THAT'S KIND OF THE WAY YOU'RE-- - IS THAT WHAT I'M THINKING? 319 00:15:57,590 --> 00:16:01,128 - WELL, AM I WRONG? - WHEN YOU GUESS WHAT I'M THINKING, 320 00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:02,562 IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT LAURA. 321 00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:05,098 LIKE I ASSUME THAT EVERYTHING YOU SAY 322 00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:07,000 - IS CONNECTED TO HER. - DON'T YOU? 323 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,736 YOU'RE THE ONE WHO BROUGHT HER UP. 324 00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,871 I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT LAURA. 325 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,374 I'M TALKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT 326 00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:18,145 I AM HAVING TROUBLE LATELY BELIEVING IN THIS... 327 00:16:18,245 --> 00:16:20,547 - RELIGION OF YOURS. - OF MINE? 328 00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:25,318 I DON'T THINK TRADITIONAL PSYCHOLOGY ANSWERS ANYTHING ANYMORE. 329 00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:26,819 YOU HAVE TWO EXTREMES, RIGHT? 330 00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:28,355 YOU HAVE POP PSYCHOLOGY, 331 00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:30,490 YOU'VE GOT THESE CELEBRITY THERAPISTS 332 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:33,260 WRITING BEST SELLERS, GETTING ON TALK SHOWS, 333 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,895 AND MAKING SOME MISERABLE COUPLE WEEP ON TELEVISION. 334 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,164 IT'S A KIND OF A PORNOGRAPHY. 335 00:16:37,264 --> 00:16:38,998 AND THEN ON THE OTHER HAND, 336 00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:40,633 YOU'VE GOT THE EXPERTS, 337 00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:42,735 PSYCHOLOGISTS LIKE YOU. 338 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:45,372 ORTHODOX, AUTHORITY FIGURES. 339 00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:48,141 EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL AND SUPERVISED, 340 00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:49,909 EXAMINED UNDER A BRIGHT LIGHT, 341 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,578 EXAMINED TO DEATH, 342 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:55,982 COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY DIVORCED FROM REAL LIFE. 343 00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:57,950 AM I DIVORCED FROM REAL LIFE? 344 00:16:58,051 --> 00:17:00,420 GINA, YOU'VE NEVER LIVED OUTSIDE THIS ROOM-- 345 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:04,257 THE INSTITUTE, THE GRADUATE PROGRAM, 346 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:07,127 DAVID'S WORLD. AND AFTER DAVID DIED, 347 00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:08,628 YOU LOCKED YOURSELF UP IN HERE. 348 00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,530 I MEAN, IT'S A BEAUTIFUL ROOM. LOOK AT IT. 349 00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:14,401 BEAUTIFULLY APPOINTED, EVERYTHING IS IN ITS PLACE. 350 00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:17,804 BUT YOU SIT IN HERE, AND WHAT DO YOU DO? 351 00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:20,173 YOU WRITE FICTION, 352 00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:23,210 ABOUT HOW LIFE COULD HAVE BEEN, SHOULD HAVE BEEN. 353 00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:25,745 IS THAT WHAT I'M WRITING? 354 00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:27,914 I DON'T KNOW. 355 00:17:28,014 --> 00:17:29,782 JUST ASK YOURSELF, AS A THERAPIST, 356 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:33,019 CAN YOU REALLY HELP ANYBODY IF YOU LIVE IN A BUBBLE? 357 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:36,323 SO NOW I'M A SLEEPY SPIDER IN A BUBBLE. 358 00:17:36,423 --> 00:17:38,291 LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO UPSET YOU, GINA. 359 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,627 - I-- - YOU WON'T. 360 00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:43,963 I FORGOT. OF COURSE. 361 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,433 YOU DON'T GET UPSET. 362 00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:49,336 - YOU NEVER LOSE IT. - PAUL. 363 00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:52,305 I'VE LOST IT HERE WITH YOU 364 00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:55,842 SEVERAL TIMES IN THE PAST FEW WEEKS. 365 00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:02,149 WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVOKE ME? 366 00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:04,451 I AM NOT TRYING TO PROVOKE YOU. 367 00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:07,887 I JUST DON'T WANT TO END UP LIKE THIS. 368 00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:09,589 IS THIS IT? 369 00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:15,762 THIS IS HOW THERAPISTS LIVE OUT THEIR LIVES? 370 00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:17,764 YOU ARE PERVERSE. 371 00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:21,868 YOU KNOW, SOMETHING REAL AND POWERFUL CAME INTO YOUR LIFE 372 00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:23,069 AND YOU NEVER GAVE IT A CHANCE. 373 00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:26,539 NOT FOR CHARLIE'S SAKE OR FOR YOURS. 374 00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:29,309 I KNOW YOU SAID IT WAS BECAUSE HE WAS A PATIENT, 375 00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:31,211 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK? 376 00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:33,112 I THINK IT WAS BULLSHIT. 377 00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:35,348 - PAUL, BE CAREFUL. - YOU WERE TERRIFIED. 378 00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:38,251 CHARLIE TOLD ME THAT YOU WERE 379 00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:41,188 THE BIGGEST LOSS IN HIS LIFE. 380 00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:44,991 THAT HIS WHOLE LIFE COULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT. 381 00:18:45,091 --> 00:18:47,660 YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 382 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,867 I MEAN, AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, 383 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,603 YOU DON'T KNOW ME. 384 00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:01,474 YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I STRUGGLE WITH? 385 00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:05,178 IT'S NOT THAT I'M TOO RESERVED, 386 00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:07,380 TOO DETACHED. 387 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,783 IT'S THAT I'M TOO EMOTIONAL. 388 00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:13,886 I'M IMPULSIVE AND EMOTIONAL 389 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,122 AND I GIVE MYSELF OVER RIGHT AWAY 390 00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:17,657 AND PASSIONATELY. 391 00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:19,692 I POUR MYSELF OUT. 392 00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:22,295 CAN'T YOU SEE 393 00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:24,364 THAT I'M PROTECTING MYSELF 394 00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:27,234 BECAUSE I'M AFRAID I'LL GET CARRIED AWAY? 395 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:30,069 I WON'T BE ABLE TO THINK, I WON'T BE ABLE TO ANALYZ, 396 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,272 I WON'T BE ABLE TO WORK. 397 00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:35,508 YOU'VE CREATED THIS COLD VERSION OF ME 398 00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:38,745 THAT'S LIMITING AND CASTRATING... 399 00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:43,783 BECAUSE WHEN YOU'RE ARGUING WITH ME 400 00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:48,688 YOU WANT TO SEE YOURSELF AS BATTLING THE FORCES OF REPRESSION. 401 00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:53,293 AND IF THE TRUTH IS THAT I'M AN EMOTIONAL PERSON 402 00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:55,562 WHO HAS TO REIN HERSELF IN, 403 00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:58,965 IT DOESN'T FIT WITH WHAT YOU NEED, NOW DOES IT? 404 00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:13,313 OF COURSE I WANTED CHARLIE. 405 00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:21,621 HE WAS THE MOST ALIVE PERSON I EVER MET. 406 00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:24,791 I WANTED TO SLEEP WITH HIM. I WANTED TO EAT HIM UP. 407 00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:28,461 BUT I DIDN'T... 408 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,763 AND NOT BECAUSE OF ETHICS. 409 00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:33,165 I MAY HAVE TOLD HIM 410 00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:36,303 IT WAS BECAUSE HE WAS A PATIENT, 411 00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:38,538 BUT THE REAL REASON WAS DAVID, 412 00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:42,875 EVEN THOUGH DAVID CHEATED ON ME FOR HOWEVER MANY YEARS. 413 00:20:44,511 --> 00:20:47,647 YES. I KNEW THAT ALL ALONG. 414 00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,717 HE WAS REALLY SHITTY AT HIDING IT. 415 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:55,688 I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH CHARLIE BECAUSE... 416 00:20:57,790 --> 00:21:00,259 THAT'S NOT WHO I WANTED TO BE. 417 00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:03,129 I LOVED DAVID 418 00:21:03,229 --> 00:21:05,365 AND I LOVED THE LIFE WE HAD 419 00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:07,534 AND WHO I WAS WITH HIM. 420 00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:10,236 I LOVED MYSELF WITH DAVID. 421 00:21:10,337 --> 00:21:12,972 DAVID'S GINA. 422 00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:24,351 AND YOU KNOW WHAT? 423 00:21:29,489 --> 00:21:31,858 WHEN I WAS STANDING OVER... 424 00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:38,665 HIS GRAVE AT THE FUNERAL... 425 00:21:39,932 --> 00:21:41,634 I THOUGHT... 426 00:21:42,669 --> 00:21:45,738 IF I WAS MAGICALLY REBORN... 427 00:21:45,838 --> 00:21:47,374 ( crying ) 428 00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:50,343 I WOULD CHOOSE HIM ALL OVER AGAIN. 429 00:21:54,514 --> 00:21:56,416 FOR ALL HIS FAULTS... 430 00:21:57,517 --> 00:21:58,751 ( sniffles ) 431 00:21:58,851 --> 00:22:01,654 HE ALLOWED ME TO BE WHO I WANTED TO BE. 432 00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:11,464 I'M SURPRISED YOU DIDN'T SEE IT, 433 00:22:11,564 --> 00:22:13,800 HOW CRAZY I WAS ABOUT HIM. 434 00:22:13,900 --> 00:22:16,369 HE WAS EVERYTHING. 435 00:22:18,571 --> 00:22:20,373 I NEVER HEARD YOU SAY IT. 436 00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:22,442 OH, SHIT. 437 00:22:22,542 --> 00:22:24,977 EVERYTHING HAS TO BE SAID? 438 00:22:27,914 --> 00:22:30,517 AND NOW I HAVE TO SIT HERE AND LISTEN 439 00:22:30,617 --> 00:22:32,985 TO YOUR CRAPPY, NEARSIGHTED, 440 00:22:33,085 --> 00:22:35,822 SELF-INVOLVED THEORIES 441 00:22:35,922 --> 00:22:37,690 ABOUT MY LIFE. 442 00:22:38,925 --> 00:22:40,593 OH GOD. 443 00:22:43,796 --> 00:22:45,297 LISTEN TO US. 444 00:22:45,398 --> 00:22:49,368 YOU KNOW, I SLAP YOU AND YOU PUNCH ME. 445 00:22:52,271 --> 00:22:54,541 SOMETIMES I TELL MYSELF IT'S CONSTRUCTIVE, 446 00:22:54,641 --> 00:22:58,010 BUT, YOU KNOW, I'M NOT SO SURE ANYMORE. 447 00:22:58,110 --> 00:22:59,912 MAYBE WE SHOULD STOP. 448 00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:06,419 ( both sigh ) 449 00:23:06,519 --> 00:23:09,255 YOU'VE BEEN FIGHTING ME FOR TWO MONTHS, 450 00:23:09,355 --> 00:23:12,559 SAYING "LAURA, LAURA, LAURA." 451 00:23:12,659 --> 00:23:16,629 AND YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS IMAGINARY GINA OF YOURS 452 00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:18,998 TO JUMP IN AND STOP YOU. 453 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:22,902 YOU KNOW... ( clears throat) 454 00:23:23,002 --> 00:23:27,139 PAUL, I'M NOT WHAT'S STOPPING YOU. 455 00:23:28,675 --> 00:23:30,910 YOU'RE FIGHTING YOURSELF. 456 00:23:32,679 --> 00:23:34,881 IT'S UP TO YOU. IT'S LIKE ALEX. 457 00:23:34,981 --> 00:23:38,384 YOU KNOW, YOU CAREFULLY LOOKED AT HIS LIFE, 458 00:23:38,485 --> 00:23:40,052 YOU OPENED DOORS FOR HIM, 459 00:23:40,152 --> 00:23:42,254 YOU GAVE HIM INSIGHT, 460 00:23:42,354 --> 00:23:45,324 BUT HIS LIFE WAS HIS. 461 00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:47,994 AND HE DECIDED TO FLY. 462 00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:52,298 NOW YOU DECIDE. 463 00:23:52,398 --> 00:23:54,567 YOU KNOW, PERHAPS YOU'RE RIGHT. 464 00:23:54,667 --> 00:23:58,137 MAYBE LOVE CAN BLOOM IN A THERAPIST'S OFFICE. 465 00:23:58,237 --> 00:24:00,807 AND, YOU KNOW, ETHICS AND RULES-- 466 00:24:00,907 --> 00:24:03,776 LOVE IS BIGGER THAN ANY RULES. 467 00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:07,480 AND WHAT DO I KNOW? 468 00:24:08,214 --> 00:24:10,316 MAYBE SHE'S YOUR DAVID. 469 00:24:10,416 --> 00:24:12,318 MAYBE YOU CAN ONLY BE 470 00:24:12,418 --> 00:24:15,121 THE PAUL YOU WANT TO BE WITH HER. 471 00:24:17,657 --> 00:24:20,627 SO GO TO HER. 472 00:24:22,394 --> 00:24:24,096 FIND OUT. 473 00:24:27,199 --> 00:24:28,935 BUT PLEASE... 474 00:24:29,035 --> 00:24:33,506 STOP COMPARING YOUR LIFE TO MINE. 475 00:24:36,375 --> 00:24:40,079 STOP USING CHARLIE AGAINST ME. 476 00:24:40,179 --> 00:24:43,683 YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY HE WAS HURT BY WHAT HAPPENED... 477 00:24:45,051 --> 00:24:46,953 BUT I NEVER LOVED HIM, 478 00:24:47,053 --> 00:24:48,688 NOT FOR A DAY. 479 00:24:50,022 --> 00:24:51,758 I LOVED DAVID. 480 00:24:53,860 --> 00:24:57,530 SO NEVER TALK TO ME ABOUT CHARLIE AGAIN, AM I CLEAR? 481 00:25:10,042 --> 00:25:11,944 PLEASE GO NOW, PAUL. 482 00:25:28,427 --> 00:25:29,829 ( door opens ) 483 00:25:33,465 --> 00:25:35,001 ( door closes ) 484 00:25:37,203 --> 00:25:40,640 ( theme music playing )