1
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:08,509
Male voice:
PREVIOUSLY ON
"IN TREATMENT"...

2
00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:12,346
WE'RE LYING THERE FACE
TO FACE, PETTING EACH OTHER
LIKE HIGH SCHOOL KIDS.

3
00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:16,284
ONE THING SEEMS
PERFECTLY PLAIN TO ME:
YOU SLEPT WITH MY PATIENT.

4
00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:17,851
HE DOESN'T BELONG
TO YOU.

5
00:00:17,951 --> 00:00:20,588
HE'S A GREAT GUY--
A LITTLE INSECURE
IN BED MAYBE,

6
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,956
BUT I THINK I'M GONNA
HAVE A TREMENDOUS AFFAIR
WITH HIM.

7
00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:26,327
ARE YOU SAYING THAT
WHEN I WAS FUCKING ALEX,
I WAS ACTUALLY FUCKING YOU?

8
00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:28,562
IT SEEMS MORE LIKE,
"LOOK WHAT YOU MISSED
OUT ON, PAUL,

9
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:30,431
YOU COWARD, YOU IDIOT."

10
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,032
PAUL, IF THERE'S ONE
THING I'VE PUT RIGHT
OUT THERE

11
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:33,901
WITHOUT HINTING
OR MANIPULATION

12
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:36,003
IT'S THAT I'VE WANTED YOU.

13
00:00:36,104 --> 00:00:39,773
THERE'S MORE INTIMACY
BETWEEN US THAN MOST
COUPLES IN THE WORLD.

14
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,275
ISN'T THAT RIGHT?

15
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,311
WELL, I DON'T DENY THAT
THERE'S A CERTAIN INTIMACY--

16
00:00:43,411 --> 00:00:45,913
IS THERE INTIMACY HERE
OR NOT?

17
00:00:46,013 --> 00:00:49,717
YES, THERE IS.

18
00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:37,431
( theme music playing )

19
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,752
I'M SORRY.

20
00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:08,462
LAURA, I THINK THAT

21
00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:12,700
WE NEED TO DISCUSS
IN A LITTLE GREATER DETAIL

22
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,268
YOUR ENDING THERAPY.

23
00:02:14,368 --> 00:02:16,837
WE'RE NOT STOPPING YET,

24
00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:18,472
BUT IN ORDER
TO DO IT GRADUALLY,

25
00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:22,410
WE HAVE TO CREATE
WHAT WE CALL A TIMELINE.

26
00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:25,879
NO TIMELINE.
WE'RE FINISHING TODAY.

27
00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:29,883
YEAH, TODAY.

28
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:32,453
THIS IS
OUR LAST SESSION.

29
00:02:42,196 --> 00:02:44,565
GOOD.

30
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,800
FEELS GOOD.

31
00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:51,639
RESOLVED, I GUESS.

32
00:02:51,739 --> 00:02:53,574
I WAS A LITTLE NERVOUS
ABOUT TELLING YOU,

33
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:56,644
BUT NOW THAT THAT'S OVER,
I FEEL BETTER, RELIEVED,

34
00:02:56,744 --> 00:03:00,681
( sighs )
MAYBE A LITTLE TIRED.

35
00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:05,753
AND...

36
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,888
AND SAD.
HOW ABOUT YOU?

37
00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:10,558
HOW DO YOU FEEL?

38
00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:13,427
I'M SORRY, IS THAT
NOT OKAY FOR ME TO ASK?

39
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,529
NO, IT'S PERFECTLY OKAY.

40
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:19,533
OH, GOOD, SO...
TELL ME.

41
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:24,372
WELL, TO BE HONEST,

42
00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:26,374
IT'S COME AS A BIT
OF A SHOCK.

43
00:03:26,474 --> 00:03:28,909
SHOCK.
WELL, OKAY, WHAT ELSE?

44
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:32,380
WELL, I FEEL SAD, TOO.

45
00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:35,849
- RIGHT.
- YES, I DO.

46
00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:37,818
- YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME?
- IT JUST DOESN'T
LOOK THAT WAY.

47
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:41,855
IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE
HOLDING BACK THIS HUGE
SIGH OF RELIEF,

48
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:44,758
THIS HUGE GULP
OF AIR TRAPPED
IN YOUR LUNGS.

49
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:47,495
SEE, I'M TRAINED
TO SEE THAT STUFF,
REMEMBER?

50
00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:51,865
MONITORING RESPIRATION--
THAT'S ANESTHESIOLOGY 101.

51
00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:56,003
GO AHEAD, LET IT GO.

52
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:58,439
EXHALE.

53
00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:03,811
NO?

54
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,146
WELL...

55
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,816
MAYBE I'M
A LOUSY DOCTOR.

56
00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:15,856
SO HOW'S
YOUR WEEK BEEN?

57
00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:18,258
( scoffs )

58
00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:21,028
DON'T ASK ME
ABOUT MY WEEK.
IT WAS TERRIBLE.

59
00:04:22,229 --> 00:04:24,532
HOW TERRIBLE?

60
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:29,036
I WAS IN SURGERY
ON FRIDAY

61
00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:31,472
AND THIS 15-YEAR-OLD
GIRL,

62
00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:35,343
SHE HAD THIS TUMOR
ON HER CHEEK.

63
00:04:35,443 --> 00:04:38,245
IT WAS NOTHING--
BENIGN, COSMETIC.

64
00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:40,481
AND EVERYTHING'S
GOING GREAT, RIGHT?

65
00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:42,850
NOTHING WRONG
WITH THE ANESTHETIC.

66
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:46,186
AND MY ATTENDING GETS
CALLED AWAY TO CONSULT
ON A PROCEDURE

67
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,889
AND THE SURGERY ENDED
FASTER THAN NORMAL.

68
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:50,624
IT WAS SIMPLE.

69
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:53,293
AND I'M LEFT WITH HER
STILL ANESTHETIZED.

70
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:55,896
SO I CALLED
TO ASK WHAT TO DO.

71
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:58,966
I'D NEVER BEEN IN THAT
SITUATION BEFORE WITH A
PATIENT WHO'S NEVER WOKEN UP.

72
00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:00,868
AND THEY TOLD ME
TO TAKE HER

73
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,903
INTO THE RECOVERY ROOM.

74
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:05,906
SHE WAS STILL INTUBATED,
AND THE ATTENDING WAS
SUPPOSED TO REMOVE THE TUBE

75
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:08,576
WHEN SHE WAKES UP.

76
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:12,780
SHE WAS A SWEET GIRL,
PRETTY.

77
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:15,549
MICHELLE WAS HER NAME.

78
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:18,519
BEFORE THE OP,
I WAS TALKING TO HER MOM

79
00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:20,488
WHO TOLD ME THAT
SHE'D BEEN ASKING
FOR THIS OPERATION

80
00:05:20,588 --> 00:05:22,856
SINCE SHE WAS 9--

81
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:25,626
THEY RECOMMENDED THAT
SHE PUT IT OFF
FOR A WHILE--

82
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:28,228
AND HOW
SHE WASN'T AFRAID,

83
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,330
JUST WANTED
THIS THING GONE,

84
00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:32,933
THIS FATTY LUMP
OFF HER PRETTY FACE.

85
00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:39,039
AND THEN SUDDENLY,
SHE WASN'T BREATHING.

86
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:41,642
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT HAPPENED, PAUL.

87
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:43,977
I TOOK HER INTO RECOVERY
AND TWO MINUTES LATER
SHE WAS BLUE.

88
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:48,416
I MEAN, ATCHESON--
HE'S THE SENIOR ATTENDING--

89
00:05:48,516 --> 00:05:50,017
HE PUSHED ME ASIDE
AND POUNCED ON HER

90
00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:53,554
WITH CHEST COMPRESSIONS.
I HAD NO IDEA WHAT
WENT WRONG, PAUL.

91
00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:55,556
THEY EXTUBATED HER,
AND SHE WAS BREATHING.

92
00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:59,359
EVERYTHING WAS FINE.
IT WAS OKAY.

93
00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:05,265
HOW DID YOU FEEL
DURING THOSE FEW MINUTES

94
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,300
WHEN THE...

95
00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:10,170
FANTASTIC,
NEVER BETTER.

96
00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:12,473
I FELT LIKE SHIT.

97
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:14,575
I ONLY LOOK COMPETENT,
PAUL,

98
00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:18,045
YOU KNOW-- WHITE COAT,
STETHOSCOPE,
PEN IN POCKET.

99
00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:22,182
I'M LIKE THOSE DOCTORS
FROM THE PHARMACEUTICAL
ADS. YOU KNOW,

100
00:06:22,282 --> 00:06:24,452
LIKE, HAND ON HIP,

101
00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:27,087
BROW A LITTLE FURROWED
WITH CONCERN,

102
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:30,057
NICE SMILE.
I HAVE A PRETTY
SMILE, RIGHT?

103
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:32,092
MM-HMM.

104
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:41,168
DO YOU EXPECT THAT
NOTHING WILL EVER GO
WRONG WITH A PATIENT?

105
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:43,403
I DROPPED THE BALL.

106
00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:45,238
BUT IS THAT WHAT

107
00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:47,074
THE ATTENDING CONCLUDED?

108
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:50,077
I MEAN, COULDN'T IT HAVE
BEEN SOMETHING ELSE,
LIKE, I DON'T KNOW,

109
00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:53,914
- AN ALLERGIC REACTION,
A DROP IN BLOOD--
- IT'S ALWAYS MY RESPONSIBILITY.

110
00:06:58,586 --> 00:07:02,523
TELL ME A LITTLE BIT MORE
ABOUT THAT GIRL.

111
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:06,727
SHE HAD BRACES.

112
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:12,432
AND THROUGH HER SURGICAL
CAP, YOU COULD SEE--

113
00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:14,835
WHAT DO THEY CALL IT?
THE BARRETTES,

114
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:18,806
LITTLE BUTTERFLIES
PINNING BACK HER BANGS.
THEY WERE OLD.

115
00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:23,577
MUST HAVE HER MOTHER'S
OR FROM A THRIFT STORE
OR SOMETHING.

116
00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:26,747
AND SHE HAD THESE
BEAUTIFUL HANDS,

117
00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:28,415
GORGEOUS HANDS. I MEAN,
SHE'S JUST A GIRL,

118
00:07:28,516 --> 00:07:32,319
AND SHE HAD THESE HANDS
OF A WOMAN--

119
00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:36,056
VERY LONG FINGERS,
PRETTY LITTLE NAILS.

120
00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:38,358
SHIT, WHEN I WAS HER AGE
I USED TO EAT MY NAILS.

121
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:42,095
I MEAN, THEY WERE UGLY
AND STUBBY AND SHORT.
NERVES, I GUESS.

122
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:44,765
WHY WERE YOU NERVOUS?

123
00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:48,736
WELL, IT WAS, YOU KNOW,
AROUND THE TIME

124
00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:51,004
THAT MY MOTHER
PASSED AWAY, SO...

125
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:56,977
AND WHOSE RESPONSIBILITY
WERE YOU THEN?

126
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:59,212
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

127
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,883
WELL, WHO WAS
TAKING CARE OF YOU?

128
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:05,218
YOU MEAN WHO WAS
WATCHING MY SLEEP?

129
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,487
YEAH.

130
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:11,291
I WASN'T THAT GIRL
ON THE OPERATING
TABLE, PAUL.

131
00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:14,394
NO, IT'S JUST
THAT YOU TOLD ME THAT
WHEN YOUR MOTHER DIED,

132
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:17,430
THAT IT WAS LIKE
A KIND OF A DEATH
FOR YOU TOO.

133
00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:19,833
YEAH, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
SHIT HAPPENS.

134
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:23,336
LIFE ISN'T FAIR.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING
TO DO, SUE GOD?

135
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:25,739
WELL, WHO WOULD YOU SUE?

136
00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:28,876
YOU.

137
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:33,981
NO, SUING YOU WOULDN'T
DO ME ANY GOOD, EITHER.

138
00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:37,517
THAT'S MY PROBLEM
WITH PSYCHOLOGY, PAUL.

139
00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:39,119
YOU DIG AND YOU DIG

140
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:42,122
AND YOU UNCOVER ALL SORTS
OF TRUTHS ABOUT YOURSELF,

141
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:44,524
AND YOU TOUCH ON ALL SORTS
OF PAINFUL PLACES,

142
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:46,560
BUT WHAT GOOD
DOES IT DO, PAUL?

143
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:48,495
I'M SERIOUS.
I'M NOT BEING CYNICAL.

144
00:08:48,596 --> 00:08:50,463
WHAT GOOD DOES
IT DO ME TODAY

145
00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:52,866
TO KNOW HOW MUCH
I SUFFERED THEN?

146
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:56,103
I'M SICK OF FEELING SORRY
FOR MYSELF.

147
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,572
( sighs )

148
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:04,544
I FUCKING HATE FEELING SORRY
FOR MYSELF. THAT'S ONE
OF THE THINGS I HATE.

149
00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:08,281
- WHAT ELSE DO YOU HATE?
- THERE'S A LONG LIST.

150
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,718
WELL, FOR EXAMPLE.

151
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:18,091
- OMELETS.
- OMELETS.

152
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:21,494
OMELETS AND ALL SORT OF EGGS,
BUT MOSTLY OMELETS.

153
00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:23,797
THAT'S WAS THE THING
MY FATHER AND I ATE

154
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,867
THE ENTIRE YEAR AFTER
MY MOTHER PASSED AWAY.

155
00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:34,007
I STILL HAVE FLASHBACKS,
BUT FROM BEHIND, YOU KNOW?

156
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,777
I'M STANDING
AT THE STOVE

157
00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:39,813
AND I'M BREAKING EGGS
INTO A FRYING PAN.

158
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,949
EVERYTHING'S VERY QUIET,
NO TALKING.

159
00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:44,818
MY DAD'S JUST
SITTING THERE

160
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:48,521
READING THE NEWSPAPER
OR SOMETHING AND
I'M JUST...

161
00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:52,125
BEATING THE EGGS
WITH A FORK.

162
00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:55,262
SOMETIMES HE WOULDN'T
EVEN BE READING
THE NEWSPAPER.

163
00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:57,898
HE WOULD JUST BE
SITTING THERE

164
00:09:57,998 --> 00:10:00,600
WITH A VACANT LOOK,
IN A DAZE.

165
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,138
I USED TO--

166
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:13,346
I'D FANTASIZE THAT
HE'D DISAPPEAR.

167
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:16,349
SUCH A TERRIBLE THING
TO SAY. IT'S NOT THAT
I WANTED HIM TO DIE.

168
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:19,653
I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO
CONTINUE LIVING LIKE THAT.

169
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:21,889
EVERYTHING WAS SO BLEAK,
SO SUFFOCATING.

170
00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:23,857
I JUST DIDN'T WANT
TO BE THERE.

171
00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:27,260
SO THEN...

172
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:28,896
THEN YOU WENT
TO CALIFORNIA.

173
00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:30,931
YEAH.

174
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:33,200
SO YOU STAYED THERE
FOR A WHILE.

175
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:36,403
HOW WAS IT COMING BACK HOME
AFTER SPENDING THAT TIME

176
00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:38,706
WITH DAVID AND CELIA?

177
00:10:38,806 --> 00:10:42,710
WELL, YOU KNOW,
YOU HAVE PLANS,

178
00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:44,377
FULL OF BEANS.

179
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:47,047
I THOUGHT,
"SHIT, I CAN MAKE HIM
FEEL BETTER. I CAN."

180
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,849
BUT I COULDN'T.

181
00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:52,820
THAT HOUSE WAS LIKE
A BLACK HOLE THAT
JUST SUCKED ME IN.

182
00:10:56,556 --> 00:11:00,593
ANYWAY,
I SAW DAVID AGAIN

183
00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:02,129
SIX MONTHS LATER.

184
00:11:02,229 --> 00:11:03,530
OH?

185
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:06,233
YEAH, HE CAME
TO THE D.C. AREA

186
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,235
TO TRY SOME BIG CASE.

187
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:11,638
HE WAS STAYED FOR A WHILE,
A FEW MONTHS.

188
00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:14,674
I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU
NEVER SAW HIM AGAIN.

189
00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:20,447
WELL, I NEVER SAW THEM AGAIN,
BUT I SAW HIM.

190
00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:26,153
HE USED TO HAVE A ROOM
AT THE HAY-ADAMS,

191
00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:28,188
BUT OCCASIONALLY,

192
00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:31,892
HE'D, YOU KNOW,
STAY OVER AT OUR HOUSE.

193
00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:35,362
HE DIDN'T HAVE A CAR,
SO WHEN IT GOT LATE
HE'D STAY.

194
00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:38,866
HE ALWAYS OFFERED
TO TAKE A CAB BACK
INTO TOWN,

195
00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:41,501
BUT MY DAD REFUSED

196
00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:45,538
SINCE HE WAS
SO HOSPITABLE TO ME

197
00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:48,475
DURING THE SUMMER.

198
00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:50,744
I MEAN, HE WAS LONELY.

199
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,882
BUT HE WASN'T
THE SAME DAVID,
YOU KNOW,

200
00:11:54,982 --> 00:11:57,350
WITH THE RAY-BANS
AND THE SUNBLOCK
AND THE SURFBOARD.

201
00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:59,787
HE WAS THIS LAWYER GUY

202
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:02,222
WITH A THREE-PIECE SUIT,

203
00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:04,024
AN EXPENSIVE HAIRCUT

204
00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:07,828
AND A MIDDLE-AGED
POT BELLY--

205
00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:12,766
NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING
WRONG WITH A POT BELLY.

206
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,273
ANYWAY, HE CAME
TO OUR HOUSE

207
00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:22,843
FOR DINNER THE FIRST NIGHT
HE WAS IN TOWN.

208
00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:25,112
MY BROTHER OLIVER
WAS AWAY AT COLLEGE

209
00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:28,281
AND SO IT WAS JUST
THE THREE OF US--

210
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:30,350
ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY,

211
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:33,954
MY DAD, DAVID AND I.

212
00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:36,289
WHAT WAS THAT LIKE,
SITTING THERE

213
00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:38,758
WITH THESE EXTREMES,

214
00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:41,428
YOUR FATHER
ON ONE SIDE AND...

215
00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:45,132
NICK NOLTE
WITH A POT BELLY
SITTING ON THE OTHER SIDE?

216
00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:47,134
- WHAT WAS THAT LIKE?
- AT FIRST,

217
00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:50,003
WELL, SELF-CONSCIOUS,
I GUESS.

218
00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:53,673
YOU KNOW HOW YOU ALWAYS
FEEL MORE LIKE A KID

219
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,543
WHEN YOUR PARENTS ARE
AROUND? THAT HAPPENED.

220
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:02,315
I REMEMBER
SLURPING UP SPAGHETTI

221
00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:05,785
AND TRYING REALLY HARD
NOT TO LET THE NOODLES
DRIP DOWN MY CHIN.

222
00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:10,390
LATER, I GUESS,

223
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:13,093
I WASN'T AS SELF-CONSCIOUS.

224
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,829
OH, WHY?

225
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:23,803
LATER, AFTER DAVID
AND I MADE LOVE.

226
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:31,144
I SEDUCED HIM.

227
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:38,218
- HAVE YOU READ "LOLITA"?
- SURE.

228
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,786
IT'S AMAZING,

229
00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:42,856
BECAUSE PRETTY MUCH
THE SAME THING
HAPPENED TO ME.

230
00:13:49,696 --> 00:13:51,831
THAT NIGHT WHEN HE
CAME OVER FOR DINNER,

231
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:54,101
MY DAD WAS STILL
AT WORK.

232
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,905
SO WE SAT
ON THE PORCH AND,

233
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,942
YOU KNOW, CAUGHT UP.

234
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,545
I WAS PAINTING
MY TOENAILS.

235
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:07,680
AND IT BECAME
PRETTY CLEAR

236
00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:09,582
THAT HE AND CELIA
WERE HAVING PROBLEMS,

237
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:13,553
I MEAN, HE SAID JUST AS MUCH,
WHICH IS WHY SHE HADN'T
JOINED HIM ON THE TRIP.

238
00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:20,160
SO WE WERE JUST SITTING
ON THE PORCH SWING.

239
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:23,997
I WAS ON ONE SIDE.
HE WAS ON THE OTHER.

240
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:27,400
AND I WAS RESTING
MY LEGS

241
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:30,270
ON HIS TO DRY MY NAILS.

242
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:33,540
AND HE WAS JUST ASKING
ABOUT ME,

243
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:36,009
WHAT WAS GOING ON
WITH ME,

244
00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:38,946
AND I STARTED TELLING
HIM ABOUT THE RED HOT
CHILI PEPPERS.

245
00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:41,814
GOD, I WAS SO INTO THEM.

246
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:44,284
YOU KNOW, HOW YOU'RE
AT THAT STAGE WHERE
YOU'RE WRITING DOWN THE LYRICS

247
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:45,452
AND ANALYZING THEM,

248
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:48,321
AND I STARTED SINGING
AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS.

249
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:50,590
( singing )

250
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,261
AND DAVID JOINED IN,
AND WE WERE SO BAD.

251
00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:57,030
I MEAN, WE WERE
SCREAMING IT.

252
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:02,970
AND THEN I FELT
HIS HARDNESS

253
00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:05,305
UNDER MY FOOT.

254
00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:09,977
AND WE WE'RE JUST ROCKING
IN THE SWING

255
00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:12,379
AND THE RHYTHM OF IT
STARTS TO TAKE OVER.

256
00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:17,050
AND I'M JUST RUBBING HIM
WITH MY FOOT,

257
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:19,919
ALTHOUGH I'VE NEVER DONE
THAT BEFORE IN MY LIFE--
NEVER NEVER.

258
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:25,225
I HAD ON THIS LITTLE SKIRT
WITH THESE LITTLE FLOWERS.

259
00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:27,927
AND HE PUSHED UP MY SKIRT
WITH HIS FINGER.

260
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:33,200
AND HIS FINGER
JUST STARTED

261
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:36,669
CLIMBING FURTHER
AND FURTHER UP MY THIGH.

262
00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:42,075
THEN WE SEE MY
FATHER'S VOLVO COMING
DOWN THE STREET,

263
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:45,845
SO WE RAN OVER TO HELP HIM
WITH THE GROCERIES.

264
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,982
AND I REMEMBER LAUGHING
SO HARD BECAUSE DAVID WAS
CARRYING HIS BAG OF GROCERIES

265
00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:51,051
IN FRONT OF HIS HARD-ON.

266
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:54,587
WE WERE JUST CRACKING UP
LIKE TEENAGERS.

267
00:15:57,524 --> 00:16:01,894
HE STAYED OVER THAT NIGHT
IN OLIVER'S ROOM.

268
00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:05,065
AND AROUND 1:00 IN
THE MORNING, I GOT UP
'CAUSE I COULDN'T SLEEP,

269
00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:08,535
AND I WALKED
DOWN THE CORRIDOR
IN THE HOUSE.

270
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,103
OLIVER'S ROOM WAS
AT THE BACK OF THE HOUSE.

271
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:13,440
AND I SAW
HIS LIGHT ON

272
00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:15,175
AND THE DOOR WAS OPEN,

273
00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:18,478
AND HE WAS WAITING FOR ME.

274
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,713
DAVID.

275
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:26,486
AND WE MADE LOVE.
IT WAS LOVELY.

276
00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:28,688
AND DURING THE TWO MONTHS
THAT HE WAS IN TOWN,

277
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:31,058
WE MADE LOVE ALMOST EVERY DAY,
MOSTLY IN THE MORNINGS

278
00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:33,560
WHEN MY DAD WENT TO WORK,
BUT OCCASIONALLY,

279
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,762
IF HE DIDN'T HAVE TO BE
IN COURT UNTIL THE AFTERNOON,

280
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:39,366
I'D PLAY HOOKY.

281
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:42,202
SOMETIMES I'D GO
TO HIS FANCY HOTEL.

282
00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:46,073
I FELT VERY IMPORTANT
AND GROWN-UP

283
00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:49,742
WALKING THROUGH THAT LOBBY
IN MY MOTHER'S HIGH HEELS.

284
00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:59,452
HMM.

285
00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:03,856
DID YOU EVER FEEL
THAT THIS MAN,

286
00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:07,727
THAT DAVID WAS TAKING
ADVANTAGE OF YOU?

287
00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:10,197
HE WASN'T TAKING
ADVANTAGE OF ME.

288
00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:12,365
I'M TELLING YOU.
I SEDUCED HIM.

289
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:16,836
WELL, LOLITA SEDUCES
HUMBERT HUMBERT
IN THE NOVEL

290
00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:18,371
AND SHE'S ONLY 12.

291
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,708
WELL, YOU DISAPPROVE,
OBVIOUSLY.

292
00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:23,810
YES, I DO.

293
00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:26,579
WHAT'S THE MATTER, PAUL?
YOU'RE MAKING A JUDGMENT
ON ME.

294
00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:29,282
YOU'RE ALLOWING YOURSELF
TO STRAY FROM THE RULES.

295
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:34,354
GOSH, IT'S TOO BAD
YOU WEREN'T LIKE
THIS BEFORE,

296
00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:36,256
WILLING TO SAY WHAT'S
ON YOUR MIND.

297
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:39,359
WELL, YOU NEVER
TOLD ME THIS BEFORE.

298
00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:44,697
IT'S OUR LAST SESSION
SO I THOUGHT IT WAS ONLY
RIGHT YOU TO TELL YOU.

299
00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:48,368
REMEMBER I TOLD YOU
THAT THE GUY

300
00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:50,803
FROM DEBATE SOCIETY
WAS MY FIRST?

301
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,972
YES.

302
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:56,143
WELL, DAVID WAS MY FIRST.

303
00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:00,813
AND I'M SORRY.

304
00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:04,684
AND WHAT ARE YOU
SORRY FOR?

305
00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:07,454
FOR LYING TO YOU.

306
00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:15,128
I WASN'T A VICTIM, PAUL.

307
00:18:15,228 --> 00:18:16,929
DON'T LOOK
AT ME LIKE THAT.
I WASN'T A VICTIM.

308
00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:19,166
- REALLY?
- I GOT INTO HIS BED.

309
00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:22,635
HE WAS A 40-YEAR-OLD MAN,
FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.

310
00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:27,039
HE HAD A RESPONSIBILITY
TO SEND YOU AWAY.

311
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:29,976
HE WAS VERY GENTLE.

312
00:18:30,076 --> 00:18:32,312
WHETHER HE WAS
GENTLE OR NOT IS
BESIDE THE POINT.

313
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:35,182
HE WAS 40 YEARS OLD.
HE HAD A MORAL
RESPONSIBILITY.

314
00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:37,884
HE SHOULD HAVE
KNOWN BETTER.

315
00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:40,587
LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.

316
00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:43,623
DO YOU FEEL...

317
00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:46,459
DO YOU FEEL ANY ANGER
TOWARDS THIS MAN,
TOWARDS DAVID?

318
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:49,929
LOOK, PAUL,
IT'S NOT SUCH A BIG DEAL.

319
00:18:50,029 --> 00:18:52,932
HE DIDN'T HURT ME.
IT DIDN'T HURT AT ALL.

320
00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:54,334
IT WASN'T RAPE.

321
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:57,804
WHERE WAS YOUR FATHER
DURING ALL THIS?

322
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,641
HE WAS ASLEEP
IN THE NEXT ROOM.

323
00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:04,877
YES, BUT DURING
THE TWO MONTHS
THAT DAVID WAS...

324
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,413
VISITING,

325
00:19:06,513 --> 00:19:08,848
YOUR FATHER HAD
NO IDEA WHAT
WAS GOING ON?

326
00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:12,285
HE WAS DEPRESSED
AND GRIEVING.

327
00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:16,122
IT HADN'T EVEN BEEN A YEAR
SINCE MY MOTHER PASSED AWAY.

328
00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:18,191
HE NEEDED SOMEONE
TO PROTECT HIM,
AND GUESS WHO?

329
00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:19,892
YES, I UNDERSTAND THAT,

330
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,962
BUT CHILDREN AREN'T
SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE
OF THEIR PARENTS, LAURA.

331
00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:26,799
IT'S A BURDEN THAT
NO CHILD DESERVES.

332
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:30,870
DO YOU FEEL ANY ANGER
TOWARDS YOUR FATHER

333
00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:34,040
FOR NOT BEING THERE

334
00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:37,510
TO PROTECT YOU,
FOR NOT NOTICING?

335
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:42,181
NO RESENTMENT?

336
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:49,021
LET'S JUST SAY YOU COULD
TALK TO YOUR FATHER NOW.

337
00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:50,390
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY
TO HIM?

338
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:53,460
I HAVE NOTHING
TO SAY TO HIM.

339
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,363
BUT JUST IMAGINE
FOR A MOMENT IF YOU
WERE FACE TO FACE

340
00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:59,632
AND YOU WERE TALKING

341
00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:02,269
ABOUT THIS INCIDENT.

342
00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:04,604
WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU MIGHT SAY TO HIM?

343
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:08,140
- HAVE YOU EVER SPOKEN
TO YOUR FATHER IN THAT WAY?
- I WISH I COULD.

344
00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:11,644
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T TALK
TO YOUR FATHER, YOU'RE
ASKING ME TO TALK TO MINE?

345
00:20:11,744 --> 00:20:13,513
NO, THAT'S NOT
WHAT I'M SAYING, LAURA.

346
00:20:13,613 --> 00:20:16,383
I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT
THAT YOU TALK

347
00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:19,786
TO YOUR FATHER
ABOUT THIS

348
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:20,987
WHILE IT'S STILL
POSSIBLE,

349
00:20:21,087 --> 00:20:24,757
NOT FOR HIS SAKE,

350
00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:27,159
BUT FOR YOURS.

351
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:29,729
YEAH?

352
00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:34,934
CAN I HAVE SOMETHING
TO DRINK OTHER THAN WATER?

353
00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:38,705
- SURE.
- DO YOU HAVE ANY SODA?

354
00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:43,476
I DON'T KNOW.

355
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:48,047
SO THIS IS THE FAMOUS
COFFEE MACHINE, HUH?

356
00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:50,417
ALEX'S FAMOUS
COFFEE MACHINE, YEAH.

357
00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:52,819
HOW DO YOU USE IT?

358
00:20:56,188 --> 00:20:57,857
EXCUSE ME.

359
00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:05,665
- HE'S SUCH
A COFFEE FREAK-- ALEX.
- UH-HUH.

360
00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:10,603
IT'S THE BEST SMELL,
DON'T YOU THINK?
( sniffs )

361
00:21:19,746 --> 00:21:22,682
YOU KNOW THAT THIS THING
WITH ME AND ALEX IS OVER.

362
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:25,818
I ENDED IT.

363
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:30,357
ARE YOU RELIEVED?

364
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:38,531
JESUS, PAUL,
LOOK AT YOU.

365
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:41,401
HOW CAN YOU
LIVE LIKE THIS?

366
00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:45,372
CAN'T YOU JUST SAY
OR DO SOMETHING
ON IMPULSE?

367
00:21:57,283 --> 00:22:00,753
YOU KNOW THAT I
CONNECTED THAT GIRL
TO THE WRONG TUBE.

368
00:22:04,857 --> 00:22:08,194
I INFLATED HER
LIKE A BALLOON.

369
00:22:08,294 --> 00:22:10,663
AND I ALMOST KILLED HER,
AND YOU KNOW WHY?

370
00:22:14,367 --> 00:22:16,736
BECAUSE I WAS THINKING
ABOUT YOU.

371
00:22:18,938 --> 00:22:22,442
AND I REALIZED
WHAT AN INSANE EFFECT
YOU'RE HAVING ON ME.

372
00:22:24,276 --> 00:22:26,713
IT HAS TO STOP.

373
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,689
LAURA, LAURA,

374
00:22:36,789 --> 00:22:38,691
WE CAN CONTINUE
TO TALK ABOUT THIS
IF YOU WANT.

375
00:22:38,791 --> 00:22:41,794
ALL OF A SUDDEN
YOU'RE VERY GENEROUS
WITH YOUR TIME.

376
00:22:46,766 --> 00:22:49,201
YOU KNOW, FOR MONTHS
I SPENT THE WEEK THINKING,

377
00:22:49,301 --> 00:22:51,804
"IT'LL BE THIS MONDAY.

378
00:22:51,904 --> 00:22:54,874
I'LL TELL HIM THAT
I LOVE HIM AND HE'LL
TELL ME HE LOVES ME,

379
00:22:54,974 --> 00:22:58,811
AND THE SESSION
WON'T BE 50 MINUTES.
IT'LL GO FOREVER.

380
00:23:02,849 --> 00:23:07,386
BUT THEN MONDAY WOULD
COME AND I WOULDN'T
DARE SAY ANYTHING.

381
00:23:07,487 --> 00:23:11,157
AND THE SESSION WOULD END
AND I WOULD JUST WALK OUT
OF HERE THINKING,

382
00:23:11,257 --> 00:23:13,359
"FUCK!

383
00:23:13,460 --> 00:23:16,128
I DIDN'T SAY
ANYTHING AGAIN.

384
00:23:17,597 --> 00:23:19,632
NOW I HAVE TO WAIT
A WHOLE OTHER WEEK

385
00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:22,134
FOR MY LIFE TO BEGIN."

386
00:23:27,206 --> 00:23:30,577
I CAN'T CONTINUE, PAUL.

387
00:23:30,677 --> 00:23:32,845
EVERY MINUTE HERE
IS TEARING ME APART.

388
00:24:33,439 --> 00:24:35,608
( theme music playing )