1 00:00:07,542 --> 00:00:08,834 (clicking) 2 00:00:11,625 --> 00:00:12,959 (jingling) 3 00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:18,959 He doesn't like to admit he's hurting. 4 00:00:20,291 --> 00:00:22,000 I want to see him succeed. 5 00:00:22,083 --> 00:00:25,208 I want to see him pull through this, get back on his feet. 6 00:00:25,291 --> 00:00:27,583 What are the obstacles to that happening? 7 00:00:29,458 --> 00:00:32,709 Karla: He's had emotional outbursts. 8 00:00:32,792 --> 00:00:35,333 Impulse control problems, 9 00:00:35,417 --> 00:00:36,875 depression, 10 00:00:36,959 --> 00:00:38,333 -threats of violence. -Oh... 11 00:00:38,417 --> 00:00:39,875 God, Karla, come on. 12 00:00:39,959 --> 00:00:41,625 The facts are the facts. 13 00:00:43,208 --> 00:00:47,583 There was one significant physical altercation. 14 00:00:47,667 --> 00:00:49,375 Do you want to tell her about that? 15 00:00:52,458 --> 00:00:54,041 That's okay. 16 00:00:55,083 --> 00:00:57,583 What we need to know is, what now? 17 00:00:57,667 --> 00:00:59,083 Is he a danger to himself? 18 00:00:59,166 --> 00:01:01,333 Can he be left to care for himself or... 19 00:01:01,417 --> 00:01:03,083 does he need additional assistance? 20 00:01:03,166 --> 00:01:04,333 And it's four sessions. 21 00:01:04,417 --> 00:01:06,208 Karla: Court-mandated four sessions. 22 00:01:06,291 --> 00:01:09,000 One of several conditions of Colin's release. 23 00:01:09,083 --> 00:01:12,125 If he fails to meet any of the requirements of his probation, 24 00:01:12,208 --> 00:01:13,792 your sign-off included, 25 00:01:13,875 --> 00:01:16,000 it would be revoked. 26 00:01:17,875 --> 00:01:20,667 But we're not gonna let that happen, right? 27 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:24,917 (sighs) 28 00:01:25,041 --> 00:01:26,959 Here is the proof of vaccination paperwork 29 00:01:27,041 --> 00:01:28,542 -that you requested. -Brooke: Mm. 30 00:01:28,625 --> 00:01:31,834 I'll be checking in each week to see how everything's going, 31 00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:34,667 but Colin is incentivized to apply himself, so... 32 00:01:35,542 --> 00:01:37,834 fingers crossed, yeah? 33 00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:42,000 -Every day, it's stacks of cases. -Hm. 34 00:01:42,083 --> 00:01:43,834 Completely crazy. All these extra people, 35 00:01:43,917 --> 00:01:46,625 -but they don't hire any more of us. -(chuckles) 36 00:01:46,709 --> 00:01:49,125 That's life, I guess. 37 00:01:49,208 --> 00:01:51,458 Well, call me when you're done. 38 00:01:51,542 --> 00:01:53,750 We'll see each other tomorrow morning. 39 00:01:54,917 --> 00:01:56,083 Bye. 40 00:01:59,834 --> 00:02:01,208 (door opens) 41 00:02:02,750 --> 00:02:04,166 (door shuts) 42 00:02:06,458 --> 00:02:08,083 (Colin sighs) 43 00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:18,000 (light theme playing) 44 00:02:18,083 --> 00:02:20,125 ♪ 45 00:02:42,583 --> 00:02:44,667 I'm happy to be here. 46 00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:47,166 Happy to be out. 47 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:50,542 Thank God for COVID, right? (chuckles) 48 00:02:50,625 --> 00:02:52,542 Not really, of course. 49 00:02:52,625 --> 00:02:55,917 And, you know, I didn't kill anybody or anything. 50 00:02:58,959 --> 00:03:00,625 Anyway... 51 00:03:01,417 --> 00:03:02,917 Basically, 52 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,125 I just wanna get back on the right track. 53 00:03:05,208 --> 00:03:07,542 Figure my life out 'cause I, uh, 54 00:03:07,625 --> 00:03:10,375 -if you'll excuse my language... -No, go ahead. 55 00:03:10,458 --> 00:03:12,375 I fucked it up. 56 00:03:12,458 --> 00:03:13,583 (chuckles wryly) 57 00:03:13,667 --> 00:03:16,667 So, I-I'm grateful for this opportunity. 58 00:03:16,750 --> 00:03:18,959 And just so we're clear, um, 59 00:03:19,041 --> 00:03:21,917 never violent. Never anything like that. 60 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,917 I'm not a danger to anyone. 61 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,583 I don't know what Karla was talking about. 62 00:03:26,667 --> 00:03:28,750 I mean, it's heat of the moment. 63 00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:32,083 "I'll f-ing kill you," but never... 64 00:03:32,166 --> 00:03:34,959 You know, it's one thing if you're shouting that at a vulnerable person. 65 00:03:35,041 --> 00:03:36,834 It's another if you're shouting it at a prison guard 66 00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:39,250 standing behind three inches of plexiglass, 67 00:03:39,333 --> 00:03:42,041 being a sadistic fuck. Sorry. 68 00:03:43,709 --> 00:03:45,250 (sighs) 69 00:03:45,333 --> 00:03:48,250 I'm like the most, you know, pacifist. 70 00:03:48,333 --> 00:03:49,917 Not just in my personal life, but-but 71 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:53,959 -as applies to the world. -And the physical altercation? 72 00:03:54,041 --> 00:03:56,834 Again, that makes it sound like 73 00:03:56,917 --> 00:03:58,583 I was scrappin' in the yard. 74 00:03:58,667 --> 00:04:01,000 No. No. 75 00:04:02,166 --> 00:04:05,458 I got my fucking ass kicked by a psycho, 76 00:04:05,542 --> 00:04:07,250 for no other reason than 77 00:04:07,333 --> 00:04:09,333 I looked to him like a person whose ass 78 00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:11,583 it might be amusing to kick. 79 00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:15,041 I'm Mr. Peace-On-Earth. I was raised by hippies, full stop. 80 00:04:15,125 --> 00:04:17,458 A commune, the whole bit. 81 00:04:17,542 --> 00:04:20,750 And that outlook, you know, th-that openness, 82 00:04:20,834 --> 00:04:22,458 trust, compassion? 83 00:04:22,542 --> 00:04:24,959 That steered me throughout my life. 84 00:04:25,041 --> 00:04:27,417 Bit of a wanderer. 85 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:30,375 Eventually, I found my way into the tech world. 86 00:04:31,709 --> 00:04:33,750 -The rest is history. -Great. 87 00:04:34,667 --> 00:04:36,375 That's a great place to start. 88 00:04:37,917 --> 00:04:40,959 And how's the probation process going so far? 89 00:04:41,041 --> 00:04:43,375 Eh, it's good. Yeah. 90 00:04:43,458 --> 00:04:46,542 And therapy, uh, just so you know, I'm all about it. 91 00:04:46,625 --> 00:04:49,542 I've done some form of therapy most of my life, 92 00:04:49,625 --> 00:04:50,792 seriously. 93 00:04:50,875 --> 00:04:53,333 So there's no resistance or apprehension on my part. 94 00:04:53,417 --> 00:04:55,750 I find it bizarre that there's any taboo around it. 95 00:04:55,834 --> 00:04:58,291 It's so not my upbringing. It's fuc-- 96 00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:02,542 Can I just... 97 00:05:02,625 --> 00:05:05,750 I wanna use some words in here, but I don't want to offend you, 98 00:05:05,834 --> 00:05:08,333 but I also don't wanna interrupt myself every time 99 00:05:08,417 --> 00:05:10,250 I'm compelled to say "fuck." 100 00:05:10,333 --> 00:05:12,250 No, please. Whatever language you feel comfortable with. 101 00:05:12,333 --> 00:05:14,375 I am not easily offended. 102 00:05:14,458 --> 00:05:15,709 That's fuckin' fantastic. 103 00:05:15,792 --> 00:05:18,291 (both laugh) 104 00:05:18,375 --> 00:05:21,166 (clears throat) So, uh, what was I saying? 105 00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:24,875 Oh! Yeah. It-it's fuckin' crazy that 106 00:05:24,959 --> 00:05:26,750 people are still so averse to therapy, 107 00:05:26,834 --> 00:05:28,834 to self-exploration, to... 108 00:05:28,917 --> 00:05:30,792 you know, uncovering truth. 109 00:05:30,875 --> 00:05:32,667 Well, I'm glad you like therapy. 110 00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:34,333 It should make my job easier. 111 00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:36,083 I love it. 112 00:05:37,333 --> 00:05:39,458 I need it... 113 00:05:39,542 --> 00:05:42,709 after what I've been through. 114 00:05:42,792 --> 00:05:45,959 So, you know, let's, uh, roll up our sleeves. 115 00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:48,208 -Get into it. -Okay. Sounds fun. 116 00:05:48,291 --> 00:05:51,041 Well, it should be fun. Why not, right? 117 00:05:51,125 --> 00:05:53,750 Thing is, I'm not patting myself on the back when I say this. 118 00:05:53,834 --> 00:05:56,458 It's just a true thing about me. 119 00:05:57,625 --> 00:06:00,208 I'm open. I always have been. 120 00:06:00,291 --> 00:06:01,834 I imagine some patients, 121 00:06:01,917 --> 00:06:04,208 -it probably takes them weeks to warm up. -Well, I don't know. 122 00:06:04,291 --> 00:06:07,291 I feel like most people walk in here ready to talk. 123 00:06:07,375 --> 00:06:09,458 You know, come here for a reason. 124 00:06:09,542 --> 00:06:12,250 Yeah, but ready to talk and able to talk, 125 00:06:12,333 --> 00:06:14,417 -two different things. -Well, that's true. 126 00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:17,417 And you seem very comfortable communicating. 127 00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:19,208 (laughs) Thank you. 128 00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:21,500 Anything, I talk too much. 129 00:06:21,583 --> 00:06:24,875 It's probably got me into some of this trouble, frankly. 130 00:06:25,917 --> 00:06:27,583 -Is that how you see it? -What? 131 00:06:27,667 --> 00:06:29,750 The situation you found yourself in? Prison? 132 00:06:29,834 --> 00:06:33,125 That it was related to your loose communication style? 133 00:06:35,667 --> 00:06:36,959 Um... 134 00:06:37,041 --> 00:06:39,333 Yeah, I don't know. Sure, a little bit. 135 00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:42,250 It's an interesting question. 136 00:06:42,333 --> 00:06:44,083 -Certain ways, I guess. -Which ways? 137 00:06:44,166 --> 00:06:46,041 I'm sorry. You know, I just... 138 00:06:46,125 --> 00:06:49,125 -I keep taking in your house. -Hm. 139 00:06:49,208 --> 00:06:51,625 This was built in the-the late '60s, right? 140 00:06:51,709 --> 00:06:55,041 -Good eye. -Oh, kind of an architecture buff. 141 00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,208 Wow. 142 00:06:59,792 --> 00:07:01,375 Wowza. 143 00:07:03,333 --> 00:07:05,083 What does your husband do? 144 00:07:05,834 --> 00:07:07,625 I'm not married. 145 00:07:07,709 --> 00:07:09,041 Oh. 146 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,500 Yeah, driving up here, 147 00:07:11,583 --> 00:07:14,375 there were a bunch of these great little houses. 148 00:07:16,083 --> 00:07:18,875 -This place is very nice. -(both chuckle) 149 00:07:20,041 --> 00:07:21,792 So it's not all pro bono then. 150 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:24,458 Oh no! You're my first, actually. 151 00:07:24,542 --> 00:07:27,000 No shit. Oh, that's great. 152 00:07:27,083 --> 00:07:29,500 'Cause I've never gotten free therapy before. 153 00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:32,125 We can figure this out together. (chuckles) 154 00:07:32,208 --> 00:07:35,000 So, what, you're like a shit-hot therapist then? 155 00:07:35,083 --> 00:07:37,625 I do all right. 156 00:07:37,709 --> 00:07:40,917 -But you know what we're not here to talk about? -Oh, I know. 157 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,792 Of course. 158 00:07:42,875 --> 00:07:44,083 Oh, that's the thing though. 159 00:07:44,166 --> 00:07:46,041 See, I wanna I wanna talk about you. 160 00:07:46,125 --> 00:07:47,875 And why do you think that is? 161 00:07:47,959 --> 00:07:50,333 Not exclusively, but... 162 00:07:50,417 --> 00:07:53,458 you know, I do want us to get to know each other. 163 00:07:53,542 --> 00:07:56,542 Really, beyond the quarter-inch file of 164 00:07:56,625 --> 00:07:59,583 glaring omissions and mischaracterization. 165 00:07:59,667 --> 00:08:02,750 Then why don't you start by filling in the gaps? 166 00:08:02,834 --> 00:08:04,458 (sighs) 167 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,667 Sure. 168 00:08:06,750 --> 00:08:08,291 (clears throat) Uh, 169 00:08:08,375 --> 00:08:09,500 I was born in Santa Cruz. 170 00:08:09,583 --> 00:08:11,542 Parents, like I said, they were hippies. 171 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:13,125 The real deal. 172 00:08:13,208 --> 00:08:16,250 Weren't playing dress-up. They were living the life. 173 00:08:16,333 --> 00:08:18,583 Uh, moved to Santa Monica 174 00:08:18,667 --> 00:08:20,625 when I was 10 for my parents' business. 175 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:23,083 Health food, where better, right? 176 00:08:24,375 --> 00:08:27,166 Spent high school bumming around LA, Venice. 177 00:08:27,250 --> 00:08:29,875 Skipping class, get high on the beach. 178 00:08:29,959 --> 00:08:31,542 It was a different city back then. 179 00:08:31,625 --> 00:08:35,750 There was a porn theater on 2nd Street. Did you know that? 180 00:08:35,834 --> 00:08:38,834 Downtown Santa Monica. Now, it's... 181 00:08:38,917 --> 00:08:41,041 an adorable something-or-other. 182 00:08:41,125 --> 00:08:43,792 And how does that kind of change affect you? 183 00:08:43,875 --> 00:08:45,417 Um, it doesn't. 184 00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:47,750 Not really. You know, things change. 185 00:08:47,834 --> 00:08:50,208 As a guy who stepped out of the world for four years, 186 00:08:50,291 --> 00:08:53,250 I can say with some authority, "Things change." 187 00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,542 It's all good. I'm just... 188 00:08:55,625 --> 00:08:57,375 You know, painting a picture. 189 00:08:57,458 --> 00:09:00,041 I wasn't running around going to SUGARFISH or Pinkberry 190 00:09:00,125 --> 00:09:02,834 when I was in high school. It was down and dirty. 191 00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:06,083 Syringes in the sand-type shit. 192 00:09:06,166 --> 00:09:10,083 -Picture painted. -This area? Fuck! I mean, 193 00:09:10,166 --> 00:09:12,709 it's great that it's finally turning around. 194 00:09:12,792 --> 00:09:15,125 It was treacherous back in the '90s. 195 00:09:15,208 --> 00:09:17,166 This area's always been nice. I grew up here. 196 00:09:17,250 --> 00:09:18,959 I ju-- No, I mean, you're just surrounded. 197 00:09:19,041 --> 00:09:21,333 You know, you got Inglewood just down the hill. 198 00:09:21,417 --> 00:09:22,750 I guess Black people aren't as scary 199 00:09:22,834 --> 00:09:24,291 when you are also a Black person. 200 00:09:24,375 --> 00:09:26,458 Oh, no, no. I meant, Black, white-- 201 00:09:26,542 --> 00:09:28,417 I'm messing with you, Colin. 202 00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:30,667 -Oh. -(laughs) 203 00:09:33,667 --> 00:09:36,458 My dad designed some of the houses in the area. 204 00:09:37,250 --> 00:09:39,208 Oh. Wild! Wow! 205 00:09:39,291 --> 00:09:42,083 -So your dad is an architect. Wow! -Yes. 206 00:09:42,166 --> 00:09:45,375 -He was. He passed. -Sorry. 207 00:09:45,458 --> 00:09:47,792 How nice that he left something behind though that, 208 00:09:47,875 --> 00:09:50,166 you know, made his mark. Especially as... 209 00:09:56,875 --> 00:09:58,709 It's nice. 210 00:09:58,792 --> 00:10:00,166 Yes. 211 00:10:01,333 --> 00:10:03,542 And now, you know a little about me. 212 00:10:03,625 --> 00:10:05,375 And I know a little about you. 213 00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:11,583 Now you wanna talk about what? 214 00:10:11,667 --> 00:10:14,792 My dramatic emotional breakdown. 215 00:10:14,875 --> 00:10:15,875 Hm. 216 00:10:15,959 --> 00:10:18,250 Oh well, that makes sense. Juicy. 217 00:10:18,333 --> 00:10:21,542 Something to sink your teeth into, psychologically speaking. 218 00:10:21,625 --> 00:10:23,458 I'm just afraid you're gonna be disappointed. 219 00:10:23,542 --> 00:10:24,834 Why would I be disappointed? 220 00:10:24,917 --> 00:10:27,625 Just isn't that much there. 221 00:10:27,709 --> 00:10:29,917 Sounds like a significant event. 222 00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:36,959 It-it was a bad day. 223 00:10:38,792 --> 00:10:41,625 My life ended. I lost everything. 224 00:10:42,917 --> 00:10:44,959 And I couldn't fucking take it. 225 00:10:45,959 --> 00:10:48,125 I reached a breaking point. 226 00:10:49,709 --> 00:10:51,375 Guess what? I broke. 227 00:10:52,750 --> 00:10:53,917 See? 228 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,667 I told you it's not juicy. It's dull, dry, and simple. 229 00:10:56,750 --> 00:10:59,000 The file says you were put in segregation. 230 00:10:59,083 --> 00:11:01,750 That's pro forma prison shit. 231 00:11:01,834 --> 00:11:03,792 Those people, they're not the most astute observers 232 00:11:03,875 --> 00:11:05,250 of the human condition. 233 00:11:05,333 --> 00:11:07,375 It's the DMV with billy clubs. 234 00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:08,291 (scoffs) 235 00:11:08,375 --> 00:11:10,834 I-I'm not a crazy person. 236 00:11:10,917 --> 00:11:13,542 I'm happy. I'm sunny. I... 237 00:11:13,625 --> 00:11:15,875 Forgive me, I light up a room. 238 00:11:15,959 --> 00:11:18,208 I fucking do. 239 00:11:18,291 --> 00:11:20,917 So if you wanna get into my-my-my grief, 240 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,834 my pain, it's just not there. 241 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,625 I have problems. Lord knows I... 242 00:11:25,709 --> 00:11:28,417 obliterated my entire existence. 243 00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:31,792 No aspect of my life was left unfucked. 244 00:11:33,291 --> 00:11:34,750 But depression? 245 00:11:34,834 --> 00:11:37,709 Anything like that? It-it-it's just a dead end. 246 00:11:37,792 --> 00:11:39,417 Okay. 247 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,792 "No aspect of my life was left unfucked"? 248 00:11:45,041 --> 00:11:47,417 (chuckles) You have a way with words. 249 00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:49,125 -(laughs) -Yeah. (laughs) 250 00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:51,083 Crochet that on a pillow. You'd make some good money. 251 00:11:51,166 --> 00:11:54,291 -Well, let's talk about that then. -What? Our pillow business? 252 00:11:54,375 --> 00:11:57,083 The way you upended your life. 253 00:11:57,166 --> 00:11:59,667 -Well, you read the file. -Oh, come on. 254 00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:01,750 You said it was full of omissions. 255 00:12:01,834 --> 00:12:03,667 Correct the record. 256 00:12:03,750 --> 00:12:06,333 (groans) 257 00:12:12,333 --> 00:12:14,583 I overstated some things 258 00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:17,250 to secure investments. 259 00:12:17,333 --> 00:12:18,959 Wire fraud, that was the headline. 260 00:12:19,041 --> 00:12:21,792 Five years, told I'd serve one. 261 00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:24,542 They kept tacking on time for behavior bullshit. 262 00:12:24,625 --> 00:12:27,750 I ended up serving four. What can I say? 263 00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:30,333 The whole justice system, it's a-- Well, 264 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:33,542 I don't have to tell you it's a joke. 265 00:12:33,625 --> 00:12:35,333 No, worse. It's a crime. 266 00:12:37,208 --> 00:12:40,792 Look, so you know, George Floyd? Black Lives? 267 00:12:40,875 --> 00:12:44,208 I would've been the first person out on those fucking streets. I... 268 00:12:45,458 --> 00:12:47,792 I get so enraged at the injustice. 269 00:12:47,875 --> 00:12:49,917 It absolutely breaks my heart. 270 00:12:51,125 --> 00:12:52,041 (scoffs) 271 00:12:53,208 --> 00:12:55,583 Sorry. Tangent. I'm... I just... 272 00:12:56,959 --> 00:12:58,709 I'm very passionate about it. 273 00:13:01,792 --> 00:13:03,000 The justice system. 274 00:13:03,709 --> 00:13:06,125 Oh, right. Yeah. 275 00:13:06,208 --> 00:13:07,917 Yeah, particularly where it pertains to, 276 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:11,041 you know, corporate crime or whatever? 277 00:13:11,125 --> 00:13:12,291 You see, the business world, 278 00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:14,291 it plays by a different set of rules 279 00:13:14,375 --> 00:13:16,083 that these people don't understand 280 00:13:16,166 --> 00:13:19,750 because if they did understand it, they'd be a part of it. 281 00:13:19,834 --> 00:13:21,792 Instead of sweating through shitty suits 282 00:13:21,875 --> 00:13:24,834 and filthy fucking courtrooms all day long. 283 00:13:24,917 --> 00:13:26,500 Jesus, I made a mistake. 284 00:13:26,583 --> 00:13:28,625 A careless, clerical error. 285 00:13:28,709 --> 00:13:30,041 You misplace a decimal point, 286 00:13:30,125 --> 00:13:32,875 suddenly, you're a criminal mastermind. 287 00:13:32,959 --> 00:13:35,667 So let's put this guy with a name we've heard of in prison 288 00:13:35,750 --> 00:13:38,125 and trumpet our impressive track record 289 00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:40,917 of holding big business accountable. 290 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:44,709 Meanwhile, exactly zero people's lives are improved by my arrest. 291 00:13:44,792 --> 00:13:46,583 You know, I'm not Al Capone. 292 00:13:46,667 --> 00:13:48,041 Every single one of these assholes, 293 00:13:48,125 --> 00:13:49,834 they all think they're Eliot Ness. 294 00:13:49,917 --> 00:13:53,083 Crime busters, only there's barely a crime. 295 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:56,959 A-and no one's hiding anything, but there's all these fucking... 296 00:13:57,792 --> 00:13:59,709 I swear to God, the names 297 00:13:59,792 --> 00:14:02,542 of the federal agents who were on my case, 298 00:14:02,625 --> 00:14:05,709 sounds like a list of south Boston dive bars. 299 00:14:05,792 --> 00:14:08,250 Really! I mean, my life was great, 300 00:14:08,333 --> 00:14:10,083 and then here comes Mickey O'Shaughnessy. 301 00:14:10,166 --> 00:14:12,041 "Mickey O'Shaughnessy." 302 00:14:12,125 --> 00:14:14,333 Stupid but driven to... 303 00:14:14,417 --> 00:14:18,125 take a big steaming dump on my existence. It's fuckin' insane. 304 00:14:20,583 --> 00:14:22,417 The point is they don't understand the world, 305 00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:23,834 especially the tech world. 306 00:14:23,917 --> 00:14:25,417 I guarantee you none of these assholes 307 00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:27,291 could fucking network a printer, much less 308 00:14:27,375 --> 00:14:29,875 wrap their heads around the shit I was working on. 309 00:14:29,959 --> 00:14:32,125 -So, you were innocent? -No. 310 00:14:32,208 --> 00:14:36,291 No, I mean, no. Not of... not of what they were saying, but... 311 00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:39,083 You know, what is a crime? And what isn't? 312 00:14:39,166 --> 00:14:40,291 Blah-blah-blah. 313 00:14:41,583 --> 00:14:43,500 Fraud is a crime. 314 00:14:46,875 --> 00:14:48,000 (sighs) 315 00:14:49,625 --> 00:14:52,041 Can we talk about that instinct of yours? 316 00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:54,250 To minimize, downplay, diminish. 317 00:14:54,333 --> 00:14:56,917 You did it with the prison time, the breakdown, 318 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,709 the crimes themselves. 319 00:14:59,792 --> 00:15:01,250 You are trying to evade me. 320 00:15:01,333 --> 00:15:04,333 I don't know if you realize that. 321 00:15:04,417 --> 00:15:06,625 Maybe it's a behavior you learned 322 00:15:06,709 --> 00:15:08,333 after being accused of a crime. 323 00:15:08,417 --> 00:15:10,834 Maybe it's been around longer than that. 324 00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:17,500 Where'd you go? 325 00:15:20,125 --> 00:15:22,667 Oh, sorry. No, you're, you're right. 326 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,125 I was just thinking, "You're good!" 327 00:15:26,208 --> 00:15:28,917 I hadn't anticipated that. 328 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,750 Usually, court-appointed? 329 00:15:31,834 --> 00:15:33,709 Not exactly the mark of high quality. 330 00:15:33,792 --> 00:15:36,291 Is it deliberate? Your evasiveness. 331 00:15:36,375 --> 00:15:40,041 No, I like to talk. I like to learn about people. 332 00:15:40,125 --> 00:15:42,083 You mentioned earlier your communication style 333 00:15:42,166 --> 00:15:44,500 might have contributed to some of your problems. 334 00:15:44,583 --> 00:15:46,333 I like to give people good news. 335 00:15:46,417 --> 00:15:49,208 Sometimes, what you think is going to happen doesn't. 336 00:15:49,291 --> 00:15:51,542 -Which is a crime, apparently. -And that sounds 337 00:15:51,625 --> 00:15:54,208 -like another dismissal. -(laughs) Oh, Jesus. 338 00:15:54,291 --> 00:15:56,750 It's a defensive stance, I suppose. Maybe... 339 00:15:56,834 --> 00:15:59,917 after getting thrown into a box for four years, uh... 340 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,834 having everyone in my life abandon me, 341 00:16:01,917 --> 00:16:04,125 maybe I've developed some trust issues. 342 00:16:04,208 --> 00:16:06,166 Or maybe you're just not asking the right questions. 343 00:16:06,250 --> 00:16:09,333 I don't think there are right questions or wrong questions per se, 344 00:16:09,417 --> 00:16:11,750 -or right answers for that matter. -What, 345 00:16:11,834 --> 00:16:13,166 so it's just a random exchange of words 346 00:16:13,250 --> 00:16:14,500 with little consequence? 347 00:16:14,583 --> 00:16:16,625 It's a process, not a puzzle. I'm not trying to pick a lock. 348 00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:18,917 It's difficult to quantify a process. 349 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,083 What's a process worth? 350 00:16:21,166 --> 00:16:23,333 -It's free for you. -Oh, is it? 351 00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:25,250 'Cause the government seized all my assets. 352 00:16:25,333 --> 00:16:27,041 This is all I got in return. 353 00:16:27,125 --> 00:16:29,041 Four sessions with you. 354 00:16:29,125 --> 00:16:31,792 So I'm giving you the only things of value I have left. 355 00:16:31,875 --> 00:16:33,500 -My time, my energy. -And I would like 356 00:16:33,583 --> 00:16:35,500 for this time not to be wasted. 357 00:16:35,583 --> 00:16:38,250 Well then, by all means, ask away. 358 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,041 What did you have for lunch today? 359 00:16:42,125 --> 00:16:44,083 Why the fuck do you wanna know what I had for lunch today? 360 00:16:44,166 --> 00:16:45,834 I don't think the questions are the problem. 361 00:16:46,542 --> 00:16:47,709 Good one. 362 00:16:47,792 --> 00:16:49,291 Why does it bother you to open up to me? 363 00:16:49,375 --> 00:16:51,625 -I'm not bothered. -But you are reluctant to share. 364 00:16:51,709 --> 00:16:53,458 'Cause I've been fuckin' pummeled every time 365 00:16:53,542 --> 00:16:56,250 I've opened my mouth for the past four years, 366 00:16:56,333 --> 00:16:58,625 today being no exception. 367 00:16:58,709 --> 00:17:00,625 I mean, I say I'm a piece of shit, and I just hear back, 368 00:17:00,709 --> 00:17:04,041 "No, no. You're a colossal piece of shit." 369 00:17:04,125 --> 00:17:05,875 I try to defend myself, it's even worse. 370 00:17:05,959 --> 00:17:08,166 I tell you the truth, it's not enough truth. I-- 371 00:17:08,250 --> 00:17:09,875 Or it's not the truth you're looking for. 372 00:17:09,959 --> 00:17:12,208 See, I don't know what you're looking for. I'm not a mind reader. 373 00:17:12,291 --> 00:17:14,667 I'm not looking for any one answer. 374 00:17:14,750 --> 00:17:17,542 -I'm looking for honesty. -Unless it's something you don't wanna hear. 375 00:17:17,625 --> 00:17:20,583 No, I want you to feel safe in this room. 376 00:17:20,667 --> 00:17:22,125 I'm not judging you. 377 00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,750 I am gonna be honest about what I'm seeing and hearing, 378 00:17:24,834 --> 00:17:27,083 and what I am hearing right now 379 00:17:27,166 --> 00:17:31,125 is a lot of avoidance of difficult subjects. 380 00:17:31,208 --> 00:17:34,083 So you want me to feel safe, but... 381 00:17:34,166 --> 00:17:35,875 I'm not safe. 382 00:17:35,959 --> 00:17:37,583 I can't be myself. 383 00:17:37,667 --> 00:17:40,458 Because try as you might, despite your best, 384 00:17:40,542 --> 00:17:43,583 very most, you know, professional of intentions, 385 00:17:43,667 --> 00:17:46,083 you are judging me. 386 00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:48,875 If I were to refer to a woman as a cunt, 387 00:17:48,959 --> 00:17:50,417 that'd be alright? 388 00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:53,667 -I'd prefer if you didn't. -Ah-ha. See, when I'm with my buddies, 389 00:17:53,750 --> 00:17:56,250 I say the word "cunt," they know me. 390 00:17:56,333 --> 00:17:57,875 They hear it as I intend it. 391 00:17:57,959 --> 00:17:59,917 They know I'm not a misogynist. 392 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,750 The furthest thing from it. 393 00:18:01,834 --> 00:18:04,125 Simply an economical way of expressing that the person 394 00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:06,750 to whom I'm referring is not at all a good person. 395 00:18:06,834 --> 00:18:09,583 They're a vicious person. A cruel person. 396 00:18:10,667 --> 00:18:12,667 (scoffs) They're a cunt! 397 00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:15,500 Prosecutor was a cunt. The judge was a cunt. 398 00:18:15,583 --> 00:18:16,834 But see, I can't say that in here 399 00:18:16,917 --> 00:18:18,750 because you hear it in a different way. 400 00:18:18,834 --> 00:18:20,333 So I have to police myself, yes or no? 401 00:18:20,417 --> 00:18:23,625 There's nothing wrong with being considerate of folks around you. 402 00:18:23,709 --> 00:18:25,834 I'm just using a crude example to explain a broader point. 403 00:18:25,917 --> 00:18:29,792 Would it be helpful if I explain to you why that particular word 404 00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:32,959 -feels very violent to me? -No, God... 405 00:18:33,041 --> 00:18:35,250 -I get it. -It sounds like you feel constrained, 406 00:18:35,333 --> 00:18:36,834 not just by this arrangement. 407 00:18:36,917 --> 00:18:38,959 Well, I am! The whole fucking world's constrained! 408 00:18:39,041 --> 00:18:41,291 Imprisonment is literal physical constraint! 409 00:18:41,375 --> 00:18:42,875 That frustration doesn't feel related? 410 00:18:42,959 --> 00:18:45,333 -Yeah, sure, sure-- -No, no, no! Really! 411 00:18:45,417 --> 00:18:46,417 (screaming): Yes! 412 00:18:47,750 --> 00:18:49,417 Alright? Yes! 413 00:18:50,417 --> 00:18:52,041 Jesus. 414 00:18:55,333 --> 00:18:56,917 (sighs) 415 00:19:00,750 --> 00:19:02,291 Yes. 416 00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:07,750 (sighs) 417 00:19:13,959 --> 00:19:16,959 What's it been like for you? 418 00:19:17,041 --> 00:19:19,250 -Since you've gotten out? -(scoffs) 419 00:19:22,709 --> 00:19:25,250 Uneventful? 420 00:19:25,333 --> 00:19:28,000 -Where are you staying? -Crashing at a buddy's place. 421 00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:31,667 Venice. He's got a back house thing. 422 00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:33,875 I've seen some people, most really aren't... 423 00:19:33,959 --> 00:19:36,375 receptive to reconnecting. 424 00:19:36,458 --> 00:19:38,625 And how are things going with your friend? 425 00:19:38,709 --> 00:19:42,583 Oh, good. Fine. He's very laid-back. 426 00:19:42,667 --> 00:19:45,709 He's an actor. You'd know him. 427 00:19:45,792 --> 00:19:48,083 He's got this new wife who I'd never met. 428 00:19:48,166 --> 00:19:50,458 They got together while I was still... 429 00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:53,792 I'm not sure she likes me. 430 00:19:53,875 --> 00:19:55,625 She's cute though. 431 00:19:56,959 --> 00:20:01,041 Good God, these women. This whole area. 432 00:20:01,125 --> 00:20:03,542 After four years in prison, walking through Venice 433 00:20:03,625 --> 00:20:06,208 is fucking torture. 434 00:20:06,291 --> 00:20:09,625 -I feel like a pervert. -What do you mean? 435 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:12,583 Like I'm going to pull my cock out and start jerking off 436 00:20:12,667 --> 00:20:14,834 -in the middle of brunch. -You wouldn't do that. 437 00:20:14,917 --> 00:20:17,500 No. No, I wouldn't fuckin' do that. 438 00:20:17,583 --> 00:20:20,458 Those fancy brunch places frown upon that sort of thing. 439 00:20:20,917 --> 00:20:22,500 Yeah. 440 00:20:24,166 --> 00:20:25,959 How does it feel when some folks 441 00:20:26,041 --> 00:20:28,208 aren't receptive to reconnecting? 442 00:20:30,542 --> 00:20:32,041 Sad. 443 00:20:33,750 --> 00:20:36,208 What about making new friends? 444 00:20:36,291 --> 00:20:38,375 There's support groups. 445 00:20:38,458 --> 00:20:40,333 Online communities 446 00:20:40,417 --> 00:20:42,250 for former prisoners. 447 00:20:42,333 --> 00:20:46,166 Human connection is important. 448 00:20:46,250 --> 00:20:48,959 What about getting back out there? 449 00:20:49,041 --> 00:20:51,166 Meeting someone? 450 00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:54,959 Yeah, I did pretty well in my younger days. 451 00:20:55,041 --> 00:20:57,500 I got a lot of material stored up to... 452 00:20:57,583 --> 00:21:00,083 keep me company on those lonely nights. 453 00:21:02,875 --> 00:21:06,333 I fucked a lot of therapists, too. You know? 454 00:21:06,417 --> 00:21:08,959 It's a weird thing. My whole life. 455 00:21:09,041 --> 00:21:10,542 I'd meet a girl, we hit it off. 456 00:21:10,625 --> 00:21:13,458 "What do you do?" "I'm a therapist." 457 00:21:13,542 --> 00:21:15,208 Over and over and over. 458 00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:18,917 They were always the wildest, too. 459 00:21:22,625 --> 00:21:24,458 What about you? Have you ever fucked a patient? 460 00:21:24,542 --> 00:21:26,750 -What are you doing? -Sharing. 461 00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:29,000 Look. 462 00:21:29,083 --> 00:21:31,166 I could try to navigate this exchange 463 00:21:31,250 --> 00:21:33,291 in some professional way, 464 00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:36,208 but I think it's best we put our cards on the table. 465 00:21:36,291 --> 00:21:38,667 Wait, you asking me out? 466 00:21:38,750 --> 00:21:41,291 -I think you're trying to push my buttons. -And did I? 467 00:21:41,375 --> 00:21:43,000 Did I push your buttons? 'Cause you know 468 00:21:43,083 --> 00:21:45,000 -I'm told I have a certain knack. -This isn't a game. 469 00:21:45,083 --> 00:21:46,750 This is my job, 470 00:21:46,834 --> 00:21:48,750 and I take it seriously, and I would like for you 471 00:21:48,834 --> 00:21:51,417 -to take it seriously, too. -Oh, yes, that's right. 472 00:21:51,500 --> 00:21:52,542 The work. 473 00:21:52,625 --> 00:21:55,333 It's very important. You're a doctor, after all. 474 00:21:55,417 --> 00:21:57,333 If there was an insult in there, I think I missed it. 475 00:21:57,417 --> 00:21:59,834 I once had a therapist. A licensed therapist, 476 00:21:59,917 --> 00:22:02,291 same certificate you got around here somewhere. 477 00:22:02,375 --> 00:22:04,834 She told me to whisper my resentments into 478 00:22:04,917 --> 00:22:07,125 "the hollow of a tree. 479 00:22:07,208 --> 00:22:09,125 And then fill the tree with mud." 480 00:22:09,208 --> 00:22:11,875 -Did it work? -(scoffs) These are your colleagues! 481 00:22:11,959 --> 00:22:13,500 This is the work you need to safeguard 482 00:22:13,583 --> 00:22:15,041 against the scourge of irreverence. 483 00:22:15,125 --> 00:22:18,417 -Why can't you bear to be sincere with me? -Oh, sincerely? 484 00:22:18,500 --> 00:22:20,291 -Fuck you. -There we go! 485 00:22:20,375 --> 00:22:22,500 Now that's something! 486 00:22:22,583 --> 00:22:24,458 It's hostility, but at least it's genuine. 487 00:22:24,542 --> 00:22:27,208 -Oh, you did it, doc. You broke through. -No, you sat here 488 00:22:27,291 --> 00:22:29,250 with a probation officer who said 489 00:22:29,333 --> 00:22:30,792 you lacked impulse control, 490 00:22:30,875 --> 00:22:33,500 you are emotionally unstable, self-destructive, 491 00:22:33,583 --> 00:22:36,333 and you understand your literal freedom 492 00:22:36,417 --> 00:22:39,041 is on the line. Still, 493 00:22:39,125 --> 00:22:40,834 you couldn't make it one hour without telling me 494 00:22:40,917 --> 00:22:42,792 to go fuck myself, that my job was a joke, 495 00:22:42,875 --> 00:22:45,083 intimating some sexual potential between us, 496 00:22:45,166 --> 00:22:46,875 and you were worried that 497 00:22:46,959 --> 00:22:49,709 I would be disappointed? Colin! 498 00:22:49,792 --> 00:22:53,083 There is plenty for me to work with here! 499 00:22:53,166 --> 00:22:54,709 The only question 500 00:22:54,792 --> 00:22:56,709 is whether you are up to it. 501 00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:59,500 The sooner we have that answer, the better. 502 00:22:59,583 --> 00:23:01,083 The court... 503 00:23:01,166 --> 00:23:03,041 is expecting a determination 504 00:23:03,125 --> 00:23:05,417 after four sessions, 505 00:23:05,500 --> 00:23:08,583 but if you are gonna fuck off all the time, I am... 506 00:23:08,667 --> 00:23:11,250 happy to say, right now, 507 00:23:11,333 --> 00:23:15,333 -that you are beyond help. -Well maybe I just don't like you. 508 00:23:15,417 --> 00:23:18,500 You know, what? You're gonna send me back to prison because I don't like you? 509 00:23:18,583 --> 00:23:19,917 You're not a judge. You're not a warden. 510 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,083 Let me guess, I'm a cunt? 511 00:23:21,166 --> 00:23:24,125 You're a wounded bird in Baldwin Hills! 512 00:23:24,208 --> 00:23:25,917 Sheltered in a house your father built! 513 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,417 I will not sign a paper that I do not believe. 514 00:23:28,500 --> 00:23:29,792 I will not tell a court 515 00:23:29,875 --> 00:23:32,667 that you are well when you are not, and... 516 00:23:33,792 --> 00:23:35,375 Colin. 517 00:23:48,125 --> 00:23:50,375 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, that's not what I... 518 00:23:53,208 --> 00:23:56,208 I'm sorry I said those things. I am. 519 00:23:56,291 --> 00:23:57,917 I didn't mean... 520 00:23:59,709 --> 00:24:01,291 I've been under a lot of stress. 521 00:24:01,375 --> 00:24:03,875 It's a very weird time, you know? I'm... 522 00:24:05,208 --> 00:24:06,875 It's nothing personal. 523 00:24:08,166 --> 00:24:09,417 Suppose you'd say I'm... 524 00:24:09,500 --> 00:24:11,458 I'm minimizing or dismissing, 525 00:24:11,542 --> 00:24:13,834 and maybe I am. I don't know. I just... 526 00:24:18,625 --> 00:24:21,417 I really didn't mean for it to go this way. 527 00:24:25,834 --> 00:24:27,417 Okay. 528 00:24:34,166 --> 00:24:35,750 Okay. 529 00:24:40,250 --> 00:24:41,917 That's our time. 530 00:24:44,208 --> 00:24:45,583 See you next week, yeah? 531 00:24:48,917 --> 00:24:51,333 -Great. -(picks up sunglasses) 532 00:24:51,417 --> 00:24:53,750 (light guitar playing) 533 00:24:55,834 --> 00:24:58,959 ♪ 534 00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:04,417 (door opens, shuts) 535 00:25:12,291 --> 00:25:14,750 (sighs) 536 00:25:47,917 --> 00:25:49,458 (sighs) 537 00:25:51,583 --> 00:25:54,667 ♪ ♪ 538 00:26:21,583 --> 00:26:24,667 ♪ ♪ 539 00:27:10,417 --> 00:27:11,250 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 540 00:27:11,583 --> 00:27:14,083 COLIN: Wow, okay, here I am. How did I get here? 541 00:27:14,667 --> 00:27:16,458 And where did those questions take you? 542 00:27:17,417 --> 00:27:19,750 Thorough emotional disintegration. 543 00:27:21,917 --> 00:27:25,375 Everything I built for 20 years was suddenly... Pfft. 544 00:27:25,625 --> 00:27:28,417 When I went in I was a good guy. And now I'm... 545 00:27:30,458 --> 00:27:31,417 Tell me. 546 00:27:32,125 --> 00:27:33,083 (SIGHS)