1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:26,111 --> 00:00:30,587 Saison 1 - Episode 1 Week one Laura. 2 00:00:31,591 --> 00:00:36,550 - Synchro by : ¤AkaZab¤ & Kasius 3 00:00:48,097 --> 00:00:49,113 I told you. 4 00:00:49,260 --> 00:00:50,263 Told me what? 5 00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:53,719 That you'd be sorry you ever encouraged me to cry here. 6 00:00:53,951 --> 00:00:55,237 I'm not sorry at all. 7 00:00:57,404 --> 00:00:59,206 You didn't expect it to be like this, I bet. 8 00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:00,826 Like what? 9 00:01:03,711 --> 00:01:04,714 You know what? 10 00:01:05,563 --> 00:01:06,835 It's disappointing. 11 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:09,993 I thought I'd feel better, 12 00:01:10,106 --> 00:01:11,109 relieved. 13 00:01:12,549 --> 00:01:14,131 I thought it'd be a lot more fun. 14 00:01:14,179 --> 00:01:15,297 And it isn't? 15 00:01:15,544 --> 00:01:17,259 No, it's horrible. 16 00:01:17,887 --> 00:01:19,952 I don't know if I'm able to talk today, Paul. 17 00:01:22,471 --> 00:01:24,734 I shouldn't have come. I should have just. 18 00:01:25,516 --> 00:01:27,561 I should have just called it off. I'm sorry. 19 00:01:32,243 --> 00:01:33,362 Are you all right? 20 00:01:34,159 --> 00:01:35,313 - Yeah. - Sit down. 21 00:01:35,779 --> 00:01:36,599 Sit. 22 00:01:43,563 --> 00:01:46,416 You know, I've been sitting out in the park about four hours. 23 00:01:47,868 --> 00:01:49,352 - Out here? - Yeah. 24 00:01:50,991 --> 00:01:53,843 I wanted to call it off, the session, but... 25 00:01:54,622 --> 00:01:57,081 I wasn't sure i'd be able to make it home alone. 26 00:01:58,848 --> 00:02:00,172 I took a cab here. 27 00:02:00,237 --> 00:02:01,375 My car's at home. 28 00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:04,679 God, at least I think it is. 29 00:02:09,198 --> 00:02:11,031 Yeah yeah, my car's at home. 30 00:02:14,404 --> 00:02:16,025 My god, it's freezing. 31 00:02:17,584 --> 00:02:20,430 I came this close to knocking on your door and asking for a sweater. 32 00:02:20,450 --> 00:02:21,528 When was that? 33 00:02:21,749 --> 00:02:24,424 I don't know. Maybe 5:00 or 6:00, I can't remember. 34 00:02:24,444 --> 00:02:25,784 It was still dark. 35 00:02:26,262 --> 00:02:27,870 I waited for the sun to come up. 36 00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:30,277 I've never waited 37 00:02:30,538 --> 00:02:32,406 this long for a sunrise, 38 00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:35,186 except maybe on a camping trip in fifth grade. 39 00:02:39,145 --> 00:02:40,013 Thank you. 40 00:02:57,823 --> 00:02:58,980 You know what I did? 41 00:02:59,404 --> 00:03:00,215 What? 42 00:03:00,658 --> 00:03:02,163 I held my cell phone, 43 00:03:02,514 --> 00:03:04,347 and I watched the minutes go by. 44 00:03:06,056 --> 00:03:09,145 It felt like forever for one minute to turn into the next. 45 00:03:09,924 --> 00:03:11,106 I thought to myself, 46 00:03:11,236 --> 00:03:12,934 "how stupiis this, 47 00:03:13,734 --> 00:03:17,578 dying on the street like roadkill outside your therapist's office?" 48 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:32,362 I'm sorry, Paul. 49 00:03:33,310 --> 00:03:35,471 I should have called it off. I shouldn't have come. 50 00:03:35,672 --> 00:03:37,023 You should have come here. 51 00:03:41,999 --> 00:03:43,314 What happened last night? 52 00:03:46,475 --> 00:03:47,323 Well, 53 00:03:47,418 --> 00:03:48,528 what didn't happen? 54 00:03:51,864 --> 00:03:53,928 The long version or the bottom line? 55 00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:57,100 Because the bottom line is very simple. 56 00:03:59,969 --> 00:04:01,067 My life is over. 57 00:04:01,910 --> 00:04:02,733 Then, 58 00:04:03,128 --> 00:04:04,900 you'd better tell me the long version. 59 00:04:14,991 --> 00:04:16,129 I left Andrew. 60 00:04:16,943 --> 00:04:17,792 We had a 61 00:04:17,923 --> 00:04:18,966 big blowout. 62 00:04:19,503 --> 00:04:21,543 Screaming, crying. The works. 63 00:04:22,805 --> 00:04:24,399 And at some point i, 64 00:04:24,419 --> 00:04:26,039 I called Alona and 65 00:04:26,059 --> 00:04:27,827 we went out for a drink. 66 00:04:29,141 --> 00:04:30,877 We had a few drinks. 67 00:04:32,908 --> 00:04:34,394 Listen, I'm not here. I'm. 68 00:04:34,517 --> 00:04:36,707 I'm so totally not here. 69 00:04:36,901 --> 00:04:38,746 You are very much here, 70 00:04:38,882 --> 00:04:39,692 Laura. 71 00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:44,487 No, it's not me that's here. 72 00:04:47,602 --> 00:04:50,632 Believe me, you'd be shocked to know the person that's sitting here. 73 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:52,617 I did some. 74 00:04:53,199 --> 00:04:55,109 I did some terrible things last night. 75 00:05:04,937 --> 00:05:06,191 I feel sick. 76 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:09,765 But I don't wanna throw up. 77 00:05:10,534 --> 00:05:12,213 It doesn't matter, it's no big deal. 78 00:05:12,242 --> 00:05:13,424 What do you mean? 79 00:05:13,598 --> 00:05:15,016 It's vomit. I'm not gonna 80 00:05:15,036 --> 00:05:16,666 vomit all over your rug. 81 00:05:16,723 --> 00:05:18,106 It's a cheap rug, Laura. 82 00:05:20,342 --> 00:05:21,932 Let's talk about what's 83 00:05:22,136 --> 00:05:23,560 really going on here. 84 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:47,316 It's Andrew. 85 00:05:49,168 --> 00:05:51,574 He knows i'm here at this time. Why is he calling me here? 86 00:05:51,594 --> 00:05:52,772 Maybe he's worried. 87 00:05:52,824 --> 00:05:55,050 - You were out of the house all night. - Yeah, right. 88 00:05:55,092 --> 00:05:57,542 If he really cared, he wouldn't have started with his shit. 89 00:05:57,603 --> 00:05:58,658 Start what? 90 00:06:04,949 --> 00:06:06,762 At the club, this guy. 91 00:06:10,182 --> 00:06:11,340 Oh my god. 92 00:06:17,209 --> 00:06:19,428 He had corduroy pants on, 93 00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:20,883 Preppy Sweater. 94 00:06:22,795 --> 00:06:24,351 A republican, probably. 95 00:06:29,530 --> 00:06:32,600 You know can I just step out for a second and let him know I'm here I mean, 96 00:06:32,620 --> 00:06:34,709 I can't concentrate with this shit. 97 00:06:35,531 --> 00:06:38,140 - Just a sec. - Laura, the call can wait. 98 00:06:57,873 --> 00:06:59,689 Andrew gave me an ultimatum, 99 00:07:01,433 --> 00:07:03,427 either we get married or we split. 100 00:07:04,723 --> 00:07:07,694 He said he wants an answer in a day or two at the most or else he's out. 101 00:07:09,292 --> 00:07:10,912 He said he can't take it anymore, 102 00:07:12,536 --> 00:07:14,793 that he loves me, that he doesn't believe I love him. 103 00:07:14,918 --> 00:07:15,972 Not for real, 104 00:07:17,076 --> 00:07:19,773 that it's been two years already on and off. 105 00:07:19,793 --> 00:07:21,085 Blah blah blah. 106 00:07:22,133 --> 00:07:24,384 I don't know why, all of a sudn 107 00:07:24,732 --> 00:07:26,391 he just started ranting and raving. 108 00:07:27,728 --> 00:07:29,676 We've talked about this stuff before. 109 00:07:30,631 --> 00:07:32,753 But it was all in theory, if we stayed together. 110 00:07:32,888 --> 00:07:33,693 If. 111 00:07:34,933 --> 00:07:36,669 And suddenly, out of the blue, I 112 00:07:36,894 --> 00:07:38,882 I can't even remember what we were doing. 113 00:07:40,118 --> 00:07:41,339 We were watching Tv. 114 00:07:42,187 --> 00:07:43,418 All of a sudden he just, 115 00:07:43,438 --> 00:07:46,222 gets off the couch and grabs the remote and turns off the Tv 116 00:07:46,242 --> 00:07:48,932 and he turns to me and he has tears in his eyes and he says, 117 00:07:48,952 --> 00:07:50,853 "that's it. I can't take it anymore." 118 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:54,357 So out of line. 119 00:07:54,784 --> 00:07:57,021 Promised he'd lay off the subject for awhile 120 00:07:57,272 --> 00:08:00,070 and all of a sudden he's on this crying bullshit. 121 00:08:00,211 --> 00:08:01,737 He actually burst out crying. 122 00:08:02,047 --> 00:08:03,648 I've never seen him like that before. 123 00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:06,675 And to tell you the truth, it really scared me. 124 00:08:07,576 --> 00:08:09,384 - No, it made me angry. - Why? 125 00:08:09,699 --> 00:08:13,029 Because he's trying to manipulate me with these. These cheap chick tricks. 126 00:08:14,265 --> 00:08:16,889 Maybe he thought he would break my heart or something, 127 00:08:18,247 --> 00:08:19,750 appeal to my. 128 00:08:20,431 --> 00:08:22,536 Shit, you know, forget it. I don't know. 129 00:08:23,739 --> 00:08:24,953 I threw a tantrum 130 00:08:25,486 --> 00:08:26,780 like a three-year-old. 131 00:08:27,104 --> 00:08:28,898 Screamed, cried, 132 00:08:30,487 --> 00:08:32,339 told him to fuck off. 133 00:08:33,883 --> 00:08:35,034 I told him he was 134 00:08:35,231 --> 00:08:36,821 a little piece of shit for doing this 135 00:08:36,841 --> 00:08:40,038 to me when he knows that I'm working double shifts at the hospital this week. 136 00:08:41,249 --> 00:08:42,541 I slammed the door, 137 00:08:43,550 --> 00:08:46,077 smashed his laptop on the floor. I killed it. 138 00:08:46,632 --> 00:08:48,225 I ran out and I called Alona. 139 00:08:49,260 --> 00:08:50,763 She dressed me in this outfit. 140 00:08:54,613 --> 00:08:56,138 It's, it's not mine. 141 00:08:58,337 --> 00:08:59,938 We went out for a drink 142 00:09:00,437 --> 00:09:02,493 at a club that she likes on chester st. 143 00:09:02,780 --> 00:09:05,693 She tried to calm me down, put things into perspective. 144 00:09:07,417 --> 00:09:08,457 And she said. 145 00:09:11,098 --> 00:09:12,827 She said I was Lucky, 146 00:09:15,835 --> 00:09:18,729 that she wished somebody loved her enough to give her an ultimatum. 147 00:09:23,891 --> 00:09:25,086 And then we drank. 148 00:09:25,359 --> 00:09:26,170 Well, 149 00:09:26,488 --> 00:09:27,748 i drank. 150 00:09:29,070 --> 00:09:31,730 And, there was this guy at the bar, 151 00:09:32,688 --> 00:09:34,986 and at some point Alona said that she was tired 152 00:09:35,006 --> 00:09:36,559 and that she needed to go home. 153 00:09:37,122 --> 00:09:38,748 And then that guy... 154 00:09:40,649 --> 00:09:42,610 Moved next to me and, 155 00:09:43,797 --> 00:09:45,318 you know what he said? 156 00:09:45,738 --> 00:09:46,760 He said, 157 00:09:47,353 --> 00:09:48,991 "you look so sad." 158 00:09:50,620 --> 00:09:51,829 And I said, "really?" 159 00:09:52,595 --> 00:09:54,257 And he said, "yeah, you do. 160 00:09:54,701 --> 00:09:56,244 It looks good on you." 161 00:09:59,471 --> 00:10:00,687 "Looks good on you." 162 00:10:01,227 --> 00:10:03,378 I mean, whatever happened to "do you have the time?" 163 00:10:03,398 --> 00:10:05,066 Or "haven't we met before?" 164 00:10:05,818 --> 00:10:07,564 I must be totally out of touch, Paul. 165 00:10:09,869 --> 00:10:12,729 What do you think? I mean, do I look good when I'm sad? 166 00:10:15,368 --> 00:10:16,449 I... 167 00:10:16,524 --> 00:10:18,877 I don't think anybody looks good when they're sad. 168 00:10:26,780 --> 00:10:27,780 And then, 169 00:10:29,650 --> 00:10:33,547 I don't know how much I had to drink cause he was ordering for me, of course. 170 00:10:33,706 --> 00:10:36,297 And then he, paid the Bill and he asked me, 171 00:10:36,390 --> 00:10:38,590 "would you like to go somewhere else?" And I said, 172 00:10:39,323 --> 00:10:40,924 "yes, I'd like to go to the bathroom." 173 00:10:40,969 --> 00:10:43,381 So I stood up and I went to the bathroom. 174 00:10:43,892 --> 00:10:45,030 He follows me. 175 00:10:46,072 --> 00:10:49,139 And you wouldn't believe it, but these were unisex bathrooms. 176 00:10:49,937 --> 00:10:51,550 Am I'm Lucky or what? 177 00:10:52,365 --> 00:10:53,889 How do you mean, i'm Lucky? 178 00:10:54,719 --> 00:10:56,934 Well, I'm, I'm running away from a guy and I'm. 179 00:10:56,983 --> 00:10:59,155 Yeah, you were trying to get away from the guy. 180 00:10:59,175 --> 00:11:00,188 Right. I mean, 181 00:11:00,208 --> 00:11:03,433 I needed to pee, you know, by myself. I've been doing that since I was three. 182 00:11:07,773 --> 00:11:09,818 So I realized i needed to make a decision. 183 00:11:10,989 --> 00:11:14,366 By following me to the bathroom this guy was also giving me an ultimatum. 184 00:11:16,016 --> 00:11:18,624 I thought, "fuck, out of the pan and into the fire." 185 00:11:18,708 --> 00:11:20,328 I ran away from one ultimatum 186 00:11:20,425 --> 00:11:23,334 and there was this guy with a hard-on giving me another. 187 00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:29,042 Suddenly I felt like doing it. 188 00:11:33,236 --> 00:11:35,183 I never had sex in a bathroom before. 189 00:11:38,291 --> 00:11:39,296 I mean, what? 190 00:11:39,739 --> 00:11:41,974 I should go and Marry Andrew without ever knowing 191 00:11:41,994 --> 00:11:43,755 what a good bathroom fuck's all about? 192 00:11:45,341 --> 00:11:47,502 It's part of a young lady's education, isn't it? 193 00:11:48,101 --> 00:11:49,776 So you wanted to do i 194 00:11:50,379 --> 00:11:52,500 but not to get back at Andrew? 195 00:11:53,086 --> 00:11:54,396 Just for yourself? 196 00:11:54,537 --> 00:11:55,424 That's right. 197 00:11:58,603 --> 00:12:00,428 A girl being forced into marriage. 198 00:12:02,070 --> 00:12:04,019 What's she supposed to do, die ignorant? 199 00:12:06,871 --> 00:12:09,502 So this guy follows me into the stall and 200 00:12:11,034 --> 00:12:12,075 suddenly 201 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:14,983 I was horny. 202 00:12:18,518 --> 00:12:20,293 Is hearing about this disgusting to you? 203 00:12:20,484 --> 00:12:21,304 No, 204 00:12:21,529 --> 00:12:22,686 it's not disgusting. 205 00:12:23,969 --> 00:12:24,969 Go on. 206 00:12:28,594 --> 00:12:29,711 He unzipped, 207 00:12:31,108 --> 00:12:32,767 pulled down his pants, 208 00:12:33,091 --> 00:12:34,769 and he stood there with his 209 00:12:36,184 --> 00:12:37,226 huge. 210 00:12:41,434 --> 00:12:43,324 God, I felt like I was 16... 211 00:12:47,729 --> 00:12:49,465 Touching it for the very first time. 212 00:12:50,788 --> 00:12:51,977 I was really 213 00:12:52,332 --> 00:12:53,521 surprised at how. 214 00:12:54,583 --> 00:12:56,088 Warm it felt. 215 00:12:57,379 --> 00:12:58,999 I mean, don't I know that already? 216 00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:02,022 And then he... 217 00:13:02,568 --> 00:13:04,691 turned me around to face the door... 218 00:13:07,336 --> 00:13:09,020 And he pulled down my stockings. 219 00:13:11,517 --> 00:13:12,790 He lifted up my skirt, 220 00:13:14,451 --> 00:13:17,270 put his hand into his back pocket and pulled out a condom. 221 00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:21,885 I realize this guy's very good at this. He does this a lot. 222 00:13:22,753 --> 00:13:23,853 He's a real pro. 223 00:13:25,308 --> 00:13:26,308 And then this... 224 00:13:27,503 --> 00:13:30,803 guy entered the stall next to us and started peeing... 225 00:13:32,171 --> 00:13:34,670 In gushes, full volume like a racehorse. 226 00:13:40,273 --> 00:13:41,648 I thought of Andrew, 227 00:13:45,444 --> 00:13:46,833 how he pees in the morning, 228 00:13:47,273 --> 00:13:48,704 making the same sound. 229 00:13:51,016 --> 00:13:52,279 My heart ached. I just... 230 00:13:56,573 --> 00:13:58,467 It was so stupid, you know? I just felt 231 00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:00,421 so sad all of a sudden. 232 00:14:01,376 --> 00:14:03,424 And he's behind me and he's rubbing up against me 233 00:14:03,444 --> 00:14:04,713 and he's feeling me up... 234 00:14:07,054 --> 00:14:10,083 I thought to myself, "it's gonna happen any moment." And I just... 235 00:14:12,629 --> 00:14:13,984 I just couldn't do it. 236 00:14:14,683 --> 00:14:16,651 I simply closed my legs shut. 237 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,883 I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it to Andrew. 238 00:14:18,921 --> 00:14:20,237 I just couldn't do it. 239 00:14:26,954 --> 00:14:28,286 Seems like quite a night out. 240 00:14:28,896 --> 00:14:30,446 Yeah, that's not the end of it 241 00:14:30,466 --> 00:14:33,001 because this idiot... I told him, 242 00:14:34,075 --> 00:14:37,297 "I'm really sorry but I have a boyfriend. I can't do this." 243 00:14:37,382 --> 00:14:39,157 And he laughs in my face and says "boohoo." 244 00:14:39,195 --> 00:14:41,588 And he grabs my hands and he says, "listen, cupcake, 245 00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:44,163 you think you can leave me high and dry like this?" 246 00:14:44,203 --> 00:14:45,714 Pointing at his dick. 247 00:14:45,866 --> 00:14:48,129 "The least you can do is make it up to me." 248 00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:50,773 I said to him, "what do you want? 249 00:14:51,048 --> 00:14:52,413 You want some money?" 250 00:14:52,908 --> 00:14:54,683 He said, "give me a hand job 251 00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:57,351 and there'll be no hard feelings." 252 00:14:58,161 --> 00:15:01,305 And I said to him, "what's the matter with you? Are you crazy?" 253 00:15:01,538 --> 00:15:04,463 And it was just getting really strange. I mean, it was tense. 254 00:15:04,521 --> 00:15:06,142 His tone changed. 255 00:15:11,741 --> 00:15:13,073 And then I thought of you... 256 00:15:16,031 --> 00:15:17,382 What you'd say about it. 257 00:15:19,438 --> 00:15:22,016 I thought about us going through this in therapy. 258 00:15:23,310 --> 00:15:26,455 And what did you imagine us saying? 259 00:15:29,548 --> 00:15:32,284 I imagined you not being able to understand it... 260 00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:36,965 That you'd be disgusted. 261 00:15:39,905 --> 00:15:41,485 Is that why you ran over here? 262 00:15:42,151 --> 00:15:43,194 To find out if... 263 00:15:44,217 --> 00:15:45,567 I would be disgusted? 264 00:15:46,831 --> 00:15:47,831 I didn't run. 265 00:15:51,013 --> 00:15:52,339 I gave him the hand job. 266 00:16:05,239 --> 00:16:06,239 Excuse me. 267 00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:32,505 - Are you okay? - Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. 268 00:17:44,654 --> 00:17:45,586 Thank you. 269 00:17:52,523 --> 00:17:55,455 We talked about what happened at the club last night, 270 00:17:56,268 --> 00:17:58,697 but we never got back to actually talking about... 271 00:17:59,691 --> 00:18:02,141 Andrew and that argument yesterday. 272 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,078 I don't wanna be put in this position. 273 00:18:05,208 --> 00:18:07,411 I don't wanna have this power to decide our future 274 00:18:07,465 --> 00:18:08,948 for both of us. I just don't. 275 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:12,336 Do you have any idea why Andrew chose this particular time? 276 00:18:12,624 --> 00:18:14,412 - What do you mean? - Do you think that 277 00:18:14,646 --> 00:18:17,868 Andrew... just out of the blue, 278 00:18:18,351 --> 00:18:19,605 as you said yourself, 279 00:18:20,165 --> 00:18:21,810 came up with this idea of an ultimatum? 280 00:18:21,830 --> 00:18:24,626 Did you notice anything over the last couple of days or weeks 281 00:18:24,683 --> 00:18:26,882 that you think might have brought this on? 282 00:18:28,575 --> 00:18:31,364 Nothing. I don't know. He just lost it. 283 00:18:32,006 --> 00:18:34,456 I mean, shit, don't you know that men are the new women? 284 00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:36,213 Obsessed with weddings and children. 285 00:18:36,447 --> 00:18:38,463 And lately he's lost touch with reality. 286 00:18:39,186 --> 00:18:42,023 Hehe thinks I'm seeing someone. That's how this whole thing started. 287 00:18:42,064 --> 00:18:44,077 - It's unbelievable. - But I thought you said 288 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,392 it came out of nowhere. 289 00:18:45,869 --> 00:18:47,533 You were watching tv, then suddenly... 290 00:18:47,553 --> 00:18:49,488 Well, we were watching tv. But before that 291 00:18:49,521 --> 00:18:52,179 we were having dinner and he had this look on his face. 292 00:18:52,250 --> 00:18:55,031 He had this sad look and I could just tell something was up. 293 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:56,714 I mean, you can just tell, huh? 294 00:18:56,738 --> 00:18:58,964 And I said to him, "what's going on?" And he said, 295 00:18:58,999 --> 00:19:02,110 "I don't know what I want. I just know I don't want 296 00:19:02,615 --> 00:19:04,340 this on-and-off thing." So I said to him, 297 00:19:04,387 --> 00:19:07,502 "Sure, then let's just decide: either we get married or we split." 298 00:19:07,636 --> 00:19:09,293 So you were the one who came up with it. 299 00:19:09,411 --> 00:19:11,007 - With what? - The ultimatum. 300 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,922 No, he's the one. He had the problem with the on-and-off thing. 301 00:19:13,992 --> 00:19:16,680 - Not me. - On-and-off can mean several things. 302 00:19:17,034 --> 00:19:19,230 You were the one who made it specific... 303 00:19:19,793 --> 00:19:22,493 "Get married or to split up." That was your ultimatum. 304 00:19:22,639 --> 00:19:25,100 No, he had this thing with the on and... 305 00:19:25,439 --> 00:19:26,439 The ultim... 306 00:19:32,035 --> 00:19:33,035 Yeah, okay, 307 00:19:34,718 --> 00:19:36,705 I was the first one to say it, you're right. 308 00:19:36,725 --> 00:19:39,639 But he jumped all over it. I said I didn't know what I want. 309 00:19:39,686 --> 00:19:43,114 And he said, "you have a day or two max to decide what you want." 310 00:19:43,455 --> 00:19:45,823 And I said "fine." And then he started crying 311 00:19:46,137 --> 00:19:47,224 and blah blah blah. 312 00:19:48,055 --> 00:19:50,369 The whole thing was really scary to him, I think. 313 00:19:50,389 --> 00:19:51,408 What about you? 314 00:19:52,096 --> 00:19:53,247 Weren't you scared? 315 00:19:53,627 --> 00:19:54,627 Of what? 316 00:19:55,001 --> 00:19:56,264 Of splitting up. 317 00:19:56,745 --> 00:19:59,357 I wasn't suggesting that we split up. That's not the point. 318 00:19:59,377 --> 00:20:02,052 So what do you think was the point of this argument 319 00:20:02,111 --> 00:20:03,584 that you may have initiated? 320 00:20:03,763 --> 00:20:05,156 I didn't initiate anything. 321 00:20:05,418 --> 00:20:07,470 You may not have meant to, but you did. 322 00:20:08,476 --> 00:20:11,736 It sounds like you wanted to bring this relationship into... 323 00:20:11,856 --> 00:20:12,859 crisis. 324 00:20:14,593 --> 00:20:17,501 I know you say that Andrew hates uncertainties, 325 00:20:18,582 --> 00:20:21,353 but perhaps you're the one who can't live with them. 326 00:20:23,827 --> 00:20:26,300 I mean, why did you choose this particular time 327 00:20:27,945 --> 00:20:29,510 to bring things to a head? 328 00:20:29,651 --> 00:20:30,943 I did no such thing. 329 00:20:35,246 --> 00:20:36,246 Why now? 330 00:20:42,291 --> 00:20:43,395 Because he's right. 331 00:20:45,733 --> 00:20:46,733 Andrew's right. 332 00:20:48,850 --> 00:20:50,494 I am being unfaithful to him. 333 00:20:51,969 --> 00:20:53,705 You mean what happened last night 334 00:20:54,279 --> 00:20:55,331 at the club? 335 00:20:56,962 --> 00:20:58,204 Not just last night. 336 00:21:02,191 --> 00:21:04,198 I've been unfaithful to him for a long time. 337 00:21:07,505 --> 00:21:09,527 Why haven't we talked about this before? 338 00:21:12,314 --> 00:21:13,314 I think we have. 339 00:21:17,930 --> 00:21:19,245 It's been here all along. 340 00:21:22,117 --> 00:21:24,222 You mean to say you've never noticed it? 341 00:21:27,972 --> 00:21:29,059 You're surprised. 342 00:21:32,008 --> 00:21:33,803 No, I'm not surprised. I just... 343 00:21:34,356 --> 00:21:35,942 I don't follow what you mean. 344 00:21:45,096 --> 00:21:46,096 This isn't... 345 00:21:47,430 --> 00:21:49,543 the reaction I was hoping for. 346 00:21:51,874 --> 00:21:52,874 Not at all. 347 00:21:54,438 --> 00:21:56,720 What was the reaction that you were hoping for? 348 00:22:00,306 --> 00:22:01,306 I had... 349 00:22:01,922 --> 00:22:03,366 Two scenarios in my head. 350 00:22:04,105 --> 00:22:06,724 In the first one you stand up and you hug me... 351 00:22:08,725 --> 00:22:10,040 And you say, "I love you. 352 00:22:11,219 --> 00:22:12,376 I love you too, Laura. 353 00:22:14,575 --> 00:22:16,513 I've been feeling this way for a long time. 354 00:22:16,548 --> 00:22:18,685 I just wanted you to be the first one to say it." 355 00:22:21,265 --> 00:22:22,422 And then we make love. 356 00:22:26,257 --> 00:22:27,257 And the... 357 00:22:29,189 --> 00:22:30,513 The second scenario? 358 00:22:31,661 --> 00:22:33,209 It's like the first one but... 359 00:22:34,975 --> 00:22:36,161 But without the sex. 360 00:22:37,179 --> 00:22:38,518 We just sit here together. 361 00:22:44,582 --> 00:22:47,353 You know, I'm embarrassed to even talk about it. 362 00:22:48,353 --> 00:22:50,643 I mean, you're sitting there like a fucking buddha 363 00:22:50,852 --> 00:22:53,060 acting like you have no idea what I'm talking about. 364 00:22:53,182 --> 00:22:54,527 It's humiliating. 365 00:22:57,332 --> 00:22:58,940 How long have you felt like this? 366 00:23:00,143 --> 00:23:01,143 A year... 367 00:23:03,634 --> 00:23:05,996 From the first session. I thought it would go away. 368 00:23:06,024 --> 00:23:08,341 I thought it's just an infatuation, that's all. 369 00:23:10,999 --> 00:23:12,209 But it's getting worse. 370 00:23:14,429 --> 00:23:16,323 You've become the center of my life. 371 00:23:21,418 --> 00:23:22,418 Laura, 372 00:23:23,462 --> 00:23:24,551 I'm your therapist. 373 00:23:29,033 --> 00:23:31,262 The parameters and the limitations... 374 00:23:33,955 --> 00:23:36,644 Are established and ethically defined. 375 00:23:40,727 --> 00:23:41,831 I'm not an option. 376 00:23:45,879 --> 00:23:46,879 You may be 377 00:23:47,891 --> 00:23:49,065 using me as a... 378 00:23:51,284 --> 00:23:52,341 As an excuse 379 00:23:53,095 --> 00:23:54,808 to bail from your relationship with... 380 00:23:55,642 --> 00:23:56,582 With Andrew. 381 00:24:04,936 --> 00:24:06,759 You know why I didn't fuck that guy? 382 00:24:08,718 --> 00:24:10,296 Not because of Andrew. 383 00:24:10,739 --> 00:24:13,581 Not because I didn't wanna cheat on him. I do want to cheat on him... 384 00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:15,520 But with you. 385 00:24:20,637 --> 00:24:22,692 When I was sitting there at the bar by myself, 386 00:24:23,944 --> 00:24:26,276 I was thinking what would happen if you were to walk in? 387 00:24:26,891 --> 00:24:29,489 You'd walk in. You'd sit next to me at the bar, 388 00:24:29,509 --> 00:24:31,131 you'd order a drink. I'd even... 389 00:24:31,287 --> 00:24:33,790 I even tried to imagine what you would order... 390 00:24:34,052 --> 00:24:35,709 A shot of bourbon maybe, something... 391 00:24:36,206 --> 00:24:37,720 expensive, something fancy. 392 00:24:38,222 --> 00:24:39,502 Then we'd start talking... 393 00:24:40,339 --> 00:24:42,606 What a coincidence it is to meet like this, 394 00:24:42,852 --> 00:24:45,220 how awkward it is to meet outside the office. 395 00:24:47,843 --> 00:24:49,106 And then, without words, 396 00:24:50,563 --> 00:24:52,778 because we... We talk enough when we're here, 397 00:24:55,269 --> 00:24:57,795 you motion for me to follow you to the bathroom. 398 00:24:59,574 --> 00:25:00,574 And I do. 399 00:25:05,502 --> 00:25:07,765 When I went into the stall with that guy... 400 00:25:10,745 --> 00:25:12,429 I imagined it was you behind me. 401 00:25:13,303 --> 00:25:14,987 That's what made it so exciting. 402 00:25:16,723 --> 00:25:18,270 Then that guy started peeing 403 00:25:19,609 --> 00:25:22,451 and it woke me up and I realized that it's impossible. 404 00:25:23,475 --> 00:25:25,334 I know it, I understand it. 405 00:25:25,868 --> 00:25:28,496 I tell myself that every time I walk out of here. I know it, 406 00:25:28,516 --> 00:25:31,173 I understand it but I'm not sure that my body understands it. 407 00:25:34,577 --> 00:25:36,458 I know it can never happen. I know it. 408 00:25:38,504 --> 00:25:40,672 So don't worry. I'm not gonna start showing up here. 409 00:25:40,707 --> 00:25:42,492 I'm not gonna start stalking you 410 00:25:43,844 --> 00:25:45,639 like Glenn Close in that movie. 411 00:25:47,666 --> 00:25:48,666 I'm not gonna... 412 00:25:49,217 --> 00:25:50,521 boil your kids' rabbit. 413 00:25:50,867 --> 00:25:52,051 I'm not dangerous... 414 00:25:55,611 --> 00:25:56,900 At least not to you. 415 00:25:58,417 --> 00:26:00,206 God, how can I go back to my life, 416 00:26:00,914 --> 00:26:02,422 to the hospital, to Andrew? 417 00:26:02,853 --> 00:26:06,063 Not to Andrew, when the only thing that matters to me is you. 418 00:26:20,886 --> 00:26:21,950 Our time's up. 419 00:26:25,998 --> 00:26:26,998 Yes, it is. 420 00:26:34,509 --> 00:26:36,161 I feel like I came here in the dark 421 00:26:36,181 --> 00:26:38,224 and I'm leaving into a bigger darkness. 422 00:26:43,097 --> 00:26:44,360 What am I gonna do now? 423 00:26:47,653 --> 00:26:49,287 We'll talk about it next week. 424 00:26:50,959 --> 00:26:51,959 Okay? 425 00:26:59,058 --> 00:27:00,279 I'll call you a taxi. 426 00:27:01,988 --> 00:27:02,988 No, I'm fine. 427 00:27:05,111 --> 00:27:06,163 Are you sure? 428 00:27:11,536 --> 00:27:12,957 How are you gonna get home?