1 00:00:28,636 --> 00:00:30,297 MAN: Can I get you to sign right here, please? 2 00:00:30,388 --> 00:00:32,253 WOMAN: Okay. Here you go. 3 00:00:32,307 --> 00:00:34,434 -Thanks. -You're welcome. 4 00:00:37,445 --> 00:00:38,878 (FOOTSTEPS PATTERING) 5 00:00:38,947 --> 00:00:40,574 WOMAN: Hi, Will. Package for you. 6 00:00:42,117 --> 00:00:43,550 (PEN CLICKING) 7 00:00:55,497 --> 00:00:57,624 WILLIAM: I don't think anyone ever imagines on their wedding day 8 00:00:57,732 --> 00:01:01,691 they'll be part of the 46% that doesn't live happily ever after. 9 00:01:03,121 --> 00:01:04,247 WOMAN: Will? 10 00:01:04,839 --> 00:01:07,137 Just heard we got the Quaker Oats account. 11 00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:10,031 Way to go. You must be completely psyched. 12 00:01:10,645 --> 00:01:11,873 WILLIAM: Then again, 13 00:01:11,955 --> 00:01:13,513 I never thought I'd spend my days, 14 00:01:13,598 --> 00:01:15,998 weeks and years working in an advertising agency 15 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:20,979 trying to figure out how to get kids to eat Cap'n Crunch instead of Froot Loops. 16 00:01:21,773 --> 00:01:24,765 But Tuesdays and Fridays are my favorite days. 17 00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:29,134 I get out of work early, and I go pick up my daughter, Maya, from school. 18 00:01:29,205 --> 00:01:32,538 Now, it's a great feeling when you find the right track to go with the day. 19 00:01:32,617 --> 00:01:36,553 And today, I have found the absolute perfect song. 20 00:01:36,629 --> 00:01:37,618 (HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 21 00:01:37,705 --> 00:01:39,673 Bitches, they can kiss my... 22 00:01:40,383 --> 00:01:42,476 WILLIAM: The other perfect song. 23 00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:44,627 (EVERYDAY PEOPLE PLAYING) 24 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:26,968 (CAR HORN BLARING) 25 00:02:30,091 --> 00:02:31,649 (MOUTHING WORDS) Thank you. 26 00:02:32,544 --> 00:02:34,239 You're welcome. 27 00:03:57,245 --> 00:04:01,113 WILLIAM: But sometimes, no matter how carefully you plan your playlist, 28 00:04:01,157 --> 00:04:04,126 there is no right track for what awaits you. 29 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:08,054 (ALL CLAMORING) 30 00:04:10,867 --> 00:04:13,927 -Come on, come on! -Hey, what's going on? 31 00:04:13,995 --> 00:04:16,463 Will, did you know there was gonna be a sex ed class today? 32 00:04:16,539 --> 00:04:17,631 Aren't they kind of young? 33 00:04:17,699 --> 00:04:20,827 -Yeah! It was a total disaster. -At Ieast it got them reading. 34 00:04:20,935 --> 00:04:22,129 There's a book! 35 00:04:22,170 --> 00:04:25,537 "The 250 million sperm are ejaculated 36 00:04:25,623 --> 00:04:29,354 "and begin their treacherous journey towards the fallopian tubes! 37 00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:31,027 "One hundred million are wiped out instantly..." 38 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,571 I'm gonna find Maya. 39 00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,072 GIRL: Do you still have sex with Daddy? 40 00:04:34,132 --> 00:04:35,326 -What are you talking about? -Do you? 41 00:04:35,383 --> 00:04:37,044 -You know, we will go home and talk... -You do, don't you? 42 00:04:37,135 --> 00:04:39,399 -We will go home and talk about this. -GIRL: I hate you, I hate you! 43 00:04:39,554 --> 00:04:41,078 (CLAMORING CONTINUES) 44 00:04:42,023 --> 00:04:45,652 WOMAN: Stop pulling on me! I am trying to get to the bottom of something! 45 00:04:45,860 --> 00:04:47,259 We need to talk. 46 00:04:48,062 --> 00:04:51,259 Which is when the man removes his penis from his pajamas 47 00:04:51,349 --> 00:04:52,611 and thrusts it into a woman's vagina... 48 00:04:52,684 --> 00:04:56,279 Okay, but Mrs. Gallagher didn't actually say "thrust." 49 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:57,873 -Yeah. -Oh. 50 00:04:58,631 --> 00:04:59,859 But what I don't understand, 51 00:04:59,916 --> 00:05:02,783 Sammy Boigon's sister said he was an accident. 52 00:05:02,860 --> 00:05:06,796 I mean, how do you accidentally thrust a penis into... Hi, Luis. 53 00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:08,652 -Hey. -How do you accidentally... 54 00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:13,128 Stop saying "penis" and "thrust." Just say "tinkle part" or "wee-wee." 55 00:05:13,196 --> 00:05:14,220 Something cute. 56 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:17,806 -Explain how Sammy was an accident. -That's complicated. 57 00:05:19,102 --> 00:05:21,935 -Penis! Penis. -Okay. AII right, that's enough. 58 00:05:22,021 --> 00:05:23,750 (SIGHING) Okay, they... 59 00:05:23,831 --> 00:05:27,232 It's not Iike his dad slipped on a banana peel. 60 00:05:27,276 --> 00:05:31,610 The accident was that Sammy's mom got pregnant. 61 00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:36,276 If they didn't want a baby, then how come they had sex? 62 00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:39,782 That's a very good question. 63 00:05:40,223 --> 00:05:43,386 I guess you could say that they were rehearsing. 64 00:05:45,286 --> 00:05:46,913 -Was I an accident? -No. 65 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,072 -I was, wasn't I? -No. 66 00:05:49,123 --> 00:05:54,117 You were completely and totally on purpose. I knew exactly what I was getting into. 67 00:05:54,887 --> 00:05:55,876 (SIGHS) 68 00:05:57,607 --> 00:06:00,167 I think you should tell me the story of you and my mom. 69 00:06:00,243 --> 00:06:03,872 Why do you keep saying "my mom" Iike I've never met her? 70 00:06:04,247 --> 00:06:08,308 Well, because now that you're getting divorced, 71 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,466 she's mine, not yours. 72 00:06:11,537 --> 00:06:13,664 -Is that so? -Tell me how it happened. 73 00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:18,837 And the real story, not the, "Oh, we met, we fell in Iove, 74 00:06:18,903 --> 00:06:21,497 "and we decided to take all that Iove 75 00:06:21,572 --> 00:06:24,973 "and make a family, and that's how we made you." 76 00:06:25,059 --> 00:06:27,254 You know something? I'm gonna tell you the real, true story 77 00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:28,463 of how me and your mother met. 78 00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:30,181 -When I'm old enough. -Yep. 79 00:06:30,256 --> 00:06:33,555 -Look. I know Iove isn't a fairytale. -Really? 80 00:06:33,618 --> 00:06:35,017 Really. 81 00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:38,238 Did you have another girlfriend before you met her? 82 00:06:38,347 --> 00:06:39,336 (CHUCKLES) 83 00:06:39,449 --> 00:06:40,882 Come on, tell me the truth. 84 00:06:40,950 --> 00:06:41,939 (SIGHS) 85 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:44,352 I had two serious girlfriends. 86 00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:47,895 And then some other, a smattering of other women that I dated. 87 00:06:47,965 --> 00:06:49,262 You know. 88 00:06:49,859 --> 00:06:50,951 What? 89 00:06:51,027 --> 00:06:53,325 What's the boy word for slut? 90 00:06:53,755 --> 00:06:57,213 They still haven't come up with one yet, but I'm sure they're working on it. 91 00:06:57,283 --> 00:06:58,682 You a vegetarian this week or not? 92 00:06:58,759 --> 00:07:00,226 -Yeah, I am. -Great. 93 00:07:00,286 --> 00:07:02,686 MAYA: I'm guessing you weren't her first boyfriend. 94 00:07:02,763 --> 00:07:06,096 Maybe it was some nerdy guy, or maybe he was mean. 95 00:07:07,210 --> 00:07:08,643 Or maybe 96 00:07:08,820 --> 00:07:09,809 (FAUCET RUNNING) 97 00:07:09,962 --> 00:07:12,157 you were friends for the Iongest time, 98 00:07:12,215 --> 00:07:15,514 and then just when you were about to put your penis 99 00:07:15,610 --> 00:07:16,736 into somebody else's vagina... 100 00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:17,827 WILLIAM: Okay. Good night, Maya. 101 00:07:17,879 --> 00:07:19,312 ...you realized Mom was the only one for you! 102 00:07:19,388 --> 00:07:20,514 Bedtime! 103 00:07:20,615 --> 00:07:23,413 You still have to tell me the story of why you fell in Iove with her. 104 00:07:23,468 --> 00:07:26,835 I fell in Iove with her because she was smart and beautiful and fun. 105 00:07:26,896 --> 00:07:30,127 So now she's stupid and ugly and boring? 106 00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:32,497 -Of course not. -Then what's the problem? 107 00:07:32,568 --> 00:07:36,766 -It's complicated, Maya. -Everything with you is so complicated. 108 00:07:36,839 --> 00:07:41,776 I bet that if you just told me the story, you'd realize that it's not complicated at all. 109 00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:44,293 That you just Iove her. 110 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,531 I know this is tough for you, but what are you thinking? 111 00:07:47,575 --> 00:07:50,339 That I'm gonna tell you this story and it's gonna make everything better? 112 00:07:50,411 --> 00:07:51,435 It doesn't work that way. 113 00:07:51,521 --> 00:07:55,480 Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. Tell me and we'II find out. 114 00:07:56,367 --> 00:07:59,803 No. Game over. It's time for bed. 115 00:07:59,871 --> 00:08:03,807 No, it's not time for bed! It's time for you to tell me the story! 116 00:08:03,875 --> 00:08:06,105 -Maya. -I need to know! 117 00:08:08,396 --> 00:08:09,954 I need to know. 118 00:08:12,099 --> 00:08:13,760 Fine! Fine! 119 00:08:14,193 --> 00:08:15,251 I'm gonna tell you the story, 120 00:08:15,336 --> 00:08:16,769 -but I'm not telling you who your mom is. -Fine. 121 00:08:16,838 --> 00:08:18,203 You're just gonna have to figure it out for yourself. 122 00:08:18,239 --> 00:08:19,570 -Good. -And I'm changing all the names 123 00:08:19,674 --> 00:08:22,040 and some of the facts, but I just decided that right now. 124 00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:25,349 -And then we'II see how smart you are. -I Iike it. It's Iike a Iove story/mystery. 125 00:08:25,413 --> 00:08:27,779 -Great. Sounds good. You ready? -No. 126 00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:28,932 No. 127 00:08:31,561 --> 00:08:33,426 -Take your time. -I will. 128 00:08:33,521 --> 00:08:35,682 -I know you will. -You go here. 129 00:08:35,740 --> 00:08:37,731 -Princess pillow? -Thank you. 130 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,461 -You bet. -Okay. 131 00:08:46,250 --> 00:08:47,239 (SIGHS) 132 00:08:47,368 --> 00:08:48,926 I'm ready. 133 00:08:48,970 --> 00:08:50,767 Once upon a time, 134 00:08:51,397 --> 00:08:55,857 before e-mails and cell phones and reality television shows, 135 00:08:56,761 --> 00:09:01,528 in 1992 to be exact, in a little town called Madison, Wisconsin, 136 00:09:01,599 --> 00:09:04,159 there lived a young man named William Hayes. 137 00:09:04,243 --> 00:09:07,838 -Hey, Will, man, Happy New Year. -Hey, yeah, you, too. 138 00:09:07,914 --> 00:09:13,147 WILLIAM: Now, this young man was deeply, deeply in love with his college sweetheart. 139 00:09:13,227 --> 00:09:14,455 Let's call her... 140 00:09:14,503 --> 00:09:16,130 -Emily! -Emily! 141 00:09:16,581 --> 00:09:17,809 Emily! 142 00:09:19,066 --> 00:09:20,328 -Hey. -Hi. 143 00:09:20,401 --> 00:09:23,427 ALL: Ten, nine, eight... 144 00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:28,576 Hey, guess who's gonna be the Iuckiest guy on planet Earth in about four seconds? 145 00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:29,948 You. 146 00:09:30,019 --> 00:09:31,714 ALL:...two, one! 147 00:09:31,796 --> 00:09:33,730 Happy New Year! 148 00:09:33,798 --> 00:09:35,732 WILLIAM: They were a perfect couple. 149 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:38,735 Except to really understand how this young man 150 00:09:38,794 --> 00:09:40,955 ended up marrying your mother, you'll also need to know 151 00:09:41,030 --> 00:09:45,694 that he had a very big, incredibly embarrassing dream. 152 00:09:45,785 --> 00:09:47,218 AII rise 153 00:09:48,930 --> 00:09:53,094 for the President of the United States of America, 154 00:09:54,143 --> 00:09:55,667 William 155 00:09:56,037 --> 00:09:57,368 Matthew 156 00:09:58,372 --> 00:09:59,862 Hayes. 157 00:10:04,178 --> 00:10:06,009 MAYA: (CHUCKLING) You wanted to be President? 158 00:10:06,464 --> 00:10:09,490 I'm just, I don't understand why you have to work for CIinton in New York. 159 00:10:09,558 --> 00:10:11,423 Why can't you just work for him in Madison? 160 00:10:11,494 --> 00:10:13,553 Well, because they don't need me here. They need me in New York. 161 00:10:13,646 --> 00:10:17,946 They need him, Em. Will's the man. I can't believe you're Ietting him go. 162 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,900 I mean, don't you know about New York girls? 163 00:10:19,977 --> 00:10:22,343 Besides being incredibly hot, they have no problem with casual sex, 164 00:10:22,396 --> 00:10:24,489 which by the way, I totally respect. 165 00:10:24,573 --> 00:10:26,837 -What if Charlie's right? -Charlie's never right. 166 00:10:26,909 --> 00:10:30,868 -He's functionally retarded. -I am worried New York's gonna change you. 167 00:10:30,972 --> 00:10:32,997 -Change can be good. -If we change together. 168 00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:35,745 So, we'II change together. 169 00:10:35,835 --> 00:10:38,861 Okay? It's two months in New York. I'II be back before you know it. 170 00:10:38,921 --> 00:10:40,115 Besides, we have a plan, right? 171 00:10:40,197 --> 00:10:43,633 The other thing I can't believe is that you'd risk Ieaving Emily here with me, 172 00:10:43,693 --> 00:10:47,720 'cause I gotta tell you, I've always had a thing for you... 173 00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:50,865 And I have absolutely no scruples. 174 00:10:53,344 --> 00:10:56,905 Wait! I almost forgot. You have to give this to Summer. 175 00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:58,263 She's the only girl I know in New York. 176 00:10:58,357 --> 00:10:59,449 -I want you to meet her. -Summer Hartley? 177 00:10:59,525 --> 00:11:00,787 -Yes. Yes. -That's her name? 178 00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:02,589 She was on my exchange program at Cambridge, 179 00:11:02,670 --> 00:11:05,969 and all the guys wanted to sleep with her, and you probably will, too. 180 00:11:06,032 --> 00:11:07,192 Maybe you should mail it to her. 181 00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:08,409 -That might be a better idea. -No. 182 00:11:08,509 --> 00:11:09,498 What is it? 183 00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:12,893 Something I should have sent her a Iong time ago. 184 00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:15,447 I Iove you, William Hayes. 185 00:11:15,541 --> 00:11:16,530 (CAR HORN HONKING) 186 00:11:17,518 --> 00:11:21,113 Okay. Go, go, go. Go be your brilliant self. 187 00:11:22,356 --> 00:11:24,790 MAYA: Emily sounds like she would make a good mom. 188 00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:27,648 -I just don't know if she's my mom. -WILLIAM: Why not? 189 00:11:27,712 --> 00:11:29,009 MAYA: Everyone knows that the girlfriend 190 00:11:29,071 --> 00:11:31,972 in the beginning of the story always gets dumped. 191 00:11:32,049 --> 00:11:35,314 Which means maybe Summer Hartley is my mother. 192 00:11:52,153 --> 00:11:53,848 WILLIAM: I'll never forget that day. 193 00:11:53,938 --> 00:11:57,738 There I was, arriving in the city I always dreamed about 194 00:11:57,792 --> 00:12:00,920 to work on a campaign that I believed in with all of my heart. 195 00:12:00,995 --> 00:12:04,487 And on top of that, I was positive that in just a few hours, 196 00:12:04,582 --> 00:12:07,551 the campaign manager would realize how brilliant I was. 197 00:12:07,610 --> 00:12:09,100 And then I'd be writing speeches, 198 00:12:09,170 --> 00:12:11,297 and then I'd be coming up with strategy, and before long... 199 00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:12,762 GARETH: Will Hayes? 200 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:14,510 -Hey. Gareth Henderson. -You're Gareth. 201 00:12:14,592 --> 00:12:17,220 -Hey, how are you? -Nice to meet you. We're walking, Hayes. 202 00:12:17,286 --> 00:12:21,552 I brought my C.V. and a sample of some speeches I wrote for Congressman Sweeney. 203 00:12:21,624 --> 00:12:25,583 Fantastic. I cannot wait to peruse these in my abundant spare time. 204 00:12:25,653 --> 00:12:28,747 In the meantime, here's a sample of the coffee and bagel order 205 00:12:28,823 --> 00:12:30,586 I'II need filled immediately. 206 00:12:30,658 --> 00:12:31,818 Wait! 207 00:12:32,309 --> 00:12:33,606 You want me to get coffee? 208 00:12:33,661 --> 00:12:36,721 At some point in our Iives, we all get coffee. Your time's now. Come on. 209 00:12:36,806 --> 00:12:37,864 We're still walking, Hayes. 210 00:12:37,948 --> 00:12:40,610 Have the coffee here by 10:00, or Arthur's gonna kill me! 211 00:12:40,676 --> 00:12:43,645 That means I'm gonna have to kill you. I've killed before, Hayes. 212 00:12:43,712 --> 00:12:46,704 -You should know that. -What is this? 213 00:12:46,791 --> 00:12:48,383 That is a cellular telephone 214 00:12:48,467 --> 00:12:51,766 so I can get a hold of you wherever, whenever, for whatever. 215 00:12:51,829 --> 00:12:54,855 -Can somebody get me an aspirin, please? -Watch it! 216 00:12:54,949 --> 00:12:57,110 GIad to have you aboard, Hayes! 217 00:13:00,396 --> 00:13:02,421 -Hi. -What? Hi. 218 00:13:02,506 --> 00:13:05,407 ARTHUR: Four weeks from now, voters of New York State 219 00:13:05,484 --> 00:13:09,147 will select their next Democratic nominee for President. 220 00:13:09,371 --> 00:13:11,464 Now, if Bill CIinton wins, 221 00:13:12,016 --> 00:13:14,951 I want you to all understand that it's gonna be as a direct result 222 00:13:15,010 --> 00:13:18,969 of the commitment and the energy of every person in this room. 223 00:13:19,498 --> 00:13:21,466 And I mean that. That's just a fact. 224 00:13:21,525 --> 00:13:24,619 Now, that's how important the work is. 225 00:13:24,687 --> 00:13:26,621 That each and every one of you is... 226 00:13:26,689 --> 00:13:27,678 (WILLIAM SCREAMS) 227 00:13:27,748 --> 00:13:28,737 (CRASHING) 228 00:13:30,417 --> 00:13:32,908 WILLIAM: (SHOUTING) What am I doing here? 229 00:13:33,345 --> 00:13:35,006 It's the new guy. 230 00:13:37,174 --> 00:13:39,972 -Hey. -Hey, is that the toilet paper guy? 231 00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:47,637 -Can I get a pack of Morley Red, please? -3.25. 232 00:13:47,943 --> 00:13:51,902 3.25? These are $2.15 in Madison, Wisconsin. 233 00:13:52,006 --> 00:13:53,371 So go back to Madison. 234 00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:55,975 -Don't forget to write. -That's right. Don't forget to write. 235 00:13:56,060 --> 00:13:58,358 MAYA: Hold it! Stop. Stop right there! 236 00:13:58,729 --> 00:14:00,128 You smoked? 237 00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:01,673 No. Yeah. 238 00:14:02,625 --> 00:14:05,594 But I didn't mean to tell you that. 239 00:14:06,921 --> 00:14:11,415 Listen. I was young, and I was stupid, and I haven't smoked in years. 240 00:14:11,525 --> 00:14:12,651 I promise you. 241 00:14:12,718 --> 00:14:15,915 Is there anything else you should tell me? 242 00:14:16,472 --> 00:14:18,372 Probably not. 243 00:14:24,371 --> 00:14:26,839 -Can I get 10 copies? -Put them on the pile. 244 00:14:26,891 --> 00:14:29,359 No, they're for Arthur. I need them Iike, 15 minutes ago. 245 00:14:29,426 --> 00:14:31,553 So if you wouldn't mind... 246 00:14:31,929 --> 00:14:33,453 You're the toilet paper guy. 247 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:36,997 MAYA: Wait. Who's that? WILLIAM: That's April. 248 00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:40,819 Yes. I am, in fact, the toilet paper guy, 249 00:14:40,913 --> 00:14:42,904 but feel free to call me the bagel-and-coffee guy. 250 00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:47,800 Or Todd in Accounting calls me Crystal, which I'm pretty sure is a girl's name. 251 00:14:47,895 --> 00:14:50,921 -How many copies? -Ten. PIease. 252 00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:53,305 -These? -Yeah, both of those. 253 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,585 What made you become a Bill CIinton supporter? 254 00:14:56,637 --> 00:14:59,265 I'm not. This is a money gig. I get paid 12 an hour, 255 00:14:59,348 --> 00:15:03,648 which is better than babysitting, which is what I've been doing way too much of. 256 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,203 You're a Democrat, right? 257 00:15:05,262 --> 00:15:08,663 Why does everyone have to be a Democrat or a Republican? 258 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,003 I'm struggling with the copy machine. 259 00:15:10,084 --> 00:15:12,348 No, hold on. You're an Independent, aren't you? 260 00:15:12,419 --> 00:15:15,752 I am nothing. Why am I obligated to be something? 261 00:15:15,798 --> 00:15:19,029 Why do I have to have an opinion about everything anyway? 262 00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:21,143 I mean, really, what do I know about missile systems 263 00:15:21,203 --> 00:15:23,433 or Social Security, or the tax code? 264 00:15:23,497 --> 00:15:26,660 What about civil rights or women's rights? 265 00:15:26,767 --> 00:15:29,065 A woman's right to do what she wants with her body? What about that? 266 00:15:29,119 --> 00:15:31,610 I do what I want with my body. 267 00:15:31,672 --> 00:15:34,038 That's apathetic. 268 00:15:34,124 --> 00:15:35,819 -I'm not apathetic. -Yes, you are. 269 00:15:35,876 --> 00:15:39,243 I'm not. I just know that these bozos you're working for, 270 00:15:39,330 --> 00:15:41,389 they don't care about anything more than their own ambitions. 271 00:15:41,465 --> 00:15:42,625 That's absolutely not true. 272 00:15:42,691 --> 00:15:45,057 You think this guy, Bill CIinton, is gonna make a huge difference? 273 00:15:45,135 --> 00:15:47,126 -I do. -He's gonna do what's already inevitable. 274 00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,289 -Okay, that's where you're wrong. -Don't make me staple your head! 275 00:15:49,356 --> 00:15:51,790 You're wrong. He's gonna make a difference with African Americans. 276 00:15:51,859 --> 00:15:53,622 He's gonna make a difference with women. He gets women. 277 00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:55,363 -My God. -I mean, Iook at his record in Arkansas. 278 00:15:55,462 --> 00:15:56,451 (SNORING) 279 00:15:56,505 --> 00:15:58,200 Read his plans on health care. Read his plans on education. 280 00:15:58,290 --> 00:15:59,882 -Okay, or don't. You know, yeah. -Oh, my God, I'm sorry. 281 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:00,983 -Yeah, I'm sorry. -I just fell asleep. 282 00:16:01,035 --> 00:16:02,434 -I'm really sorry. -Yeah. That's fine. 283 00:16:02,519 --> 00:16:03,747 Wake up to a new America. 284 00:16:03,829 --> 00:16:05,592 -I believe you. -This has been really interesting. 285 00:16:05,664 --> 00:16:08,929 -Fine. You convinced me. You're nothing. -I'm nothing. 286 00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:10,832 FLOWERS ON TV: So I'm here to repeat in front of all of you... 287 00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:13,787 MAN: Hey! Listen up! Look up, everybody! 288 00:16:14,415 --> 00:16:17,282 Yes, I was Bill Clinton's lover for 12 years. 289 00:16:17,368 --> 00:16:18,357 WOMAN: Hey, somebody turn it up. 290 00:16:18,427 --> 00:16:22,523 For the past two years, I have lied to the press about our relationship to protect him. 291 00:16:22,589 --> 00:16:24,887 The truth is, I loved him. 292 00:16:25,267 --> 00:16:26,666 (PEOPLE EXCLAIMING) 293 00:16:26,827 --> 00:16:28,920 Now he tells me to deny it. 294 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:35,018 Well, I'm sick of all of the deceit, and I'm sick of all of the lies. 295 00:16:35,444 --> 00:16:40,040 Well, you're right about one thing. He certainly gets women. 296 00:16:40,115 --> 00:16:43,243 -This has been fun. Yeah. -(LAUGHING) Bye, toilet paper guy. 297 00:16:43,343 --> 00:16:44,935 Bye, copy girl. 298 00:16:45,729 --> 00:16:47,253 MAN: Oh, my God. It never ends. 299 00:16:47,348 --> 00:16:49,248 They just keep playing it over and over and over again. 300 00:16:49,291 --> 00:16:50,622 -WOMAN: It's gonna blow over. -Right. 301 00:16:50,709 --> 00:16:51,767 People don't really care about this stuff. 302 00:16:51,852 --> 00:16:53,945 -That's the thing. -What I don't understand, 303 00:16:54,021 --> 00:16:56,319 I've heard Bush has a mistress. 304 00:16:56,373 --> 00:16:59,672 Everybody's talking about it, so why is it okay for him and not for CIinton? 305 00:16:59,743 --> 00:17:01,040 She's trashy. 306 00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:02,161 (MAN LAUGHING) 307 00:17:02,246 --> 00:17:04,771 I mean, her hair alone is enough reason to go after CIinton. 308 00:17:04,865 --> 00:17:07,095 Big deal. Everyone has their weaknesses, you know? 309 00:17:07,142 --> 00:17:10,111 Those chubby redheads with the Iong, fake fingernails? 310 00:17:10,204 --> 00:17:12,672 -That's what Daddy Iikes. -That's just nasty. 311 00:17:12,723 --> 00:17:14,884 Gareth, you are unfailingly repugnant. 312 00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:18,886 Hey. That is a coincidence. I Iove women that say "unfailingly repugnant." 313 00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:20,114 WILLIAM: You know what I Iove? 314 00:17:20,214 --> 00:17:22,444 I Iove Iong-haired brunettes with horn-rimmed glasses. 315 00:17:22,491 --> 00:17:24,652 I have no idea why. They're Iike kryptonite to me. 316 00:17:24,743 --> 00:17:26,074 I got that one, too. 317 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:29,393 I got a thing for guys who've got a thing for me. 318 00:17:30,666 --> 00:17:32,566 You might wanna Iook at that. I'm gonna propose a toast. 319 00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:34,192 I am fine with that. 320 00:17:34,278 --> 00:17:36,439 -To Bill and his weaknesses. -Yes. 321 00:17:36,505 --> 00:17:37,767 -To Bill. -To Bill. 322 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,983 (HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 323 00:17:43,787 --> 00:17:44,947 (PHONE RINGING) 324 00:17:45,013 --> 00:17:46,037 EMILY: Hello? 325 00:17:46,123 --> 00:17:47,852 Hey! It's me! 326 00:17:47,933 --> 00:17:49,594 -Is that Emily? -Is that Emily? 327 00:17:49,643 --> 00:17:51,634 -Hi, Emily! -Hi, Emily! 328 00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:52,897 What's all that noise? 329 00:17:52,955 --> 00:17:56,584 Nothing. That's just a couple of idiots I work with making fun of me 330 00:17:56,658 --> 00:18:01,220 because they don't have a beautiful girlfriend that they're eternally devoted to! 331 00:18:01,305 --> 00:18:02,363 You're drunk. 332 00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:03,847 You're beautiful. 333 00:18:03,924 --> 00:18:06,722 -You're horny. -You might be right. 334 00:18:06,785 --> 00:18:07,877 (EMILY LAUGHING) 335 00:18:07,953 --> 00:18:10,581 Emily? Come to New York. 336 00:18:10,639 --> 00:18:13,437 You'II Iove it here. It's the energy, the people. It's amazing. 337 00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:17,630 Whoa, did you just say "energy"? Will, you did not just say "energy. " 338 00:18:17,704 --> 00:18:18,932 What? 339 00:18:20,215 --> 00:18:22,046 You're never coming back. 340 00:18:22,134 --> 00:18:26,036 Hey, come on, now. I just want you to come for a weekend. 341 00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:29,180 You're right. I'm sorry. 342 00:18:30,642 --> 00:18:32,439 Did you call Summer? 343 00:18:32,953 --> 00:18:36,582 No. I Ieft her a message. She didn't get back to me. 344 00:18:38,842 --> 00:18:41,538 Hey. You okay? 345 00:18:41,628 --> 00:18:43,528 Yeah. I'm just really lonely here, 346 00:18:43,572 --> 00:18:46,769 and I miss you Iike crazy, and it's really hard. 347 00:18:48,318 --> 00:18:50,479 Yeah. I know what you mean. 348 00:19:12,267 --> 00:19:16,601 -Hey. What are you doing up? -WILLIAM: Mr. McCormack. 349 00:19:16,688 --> 00:19:20,886 Come on, you've been staring at that package for about a week now. 350 00:19:22,219 --> 00:19:25,052 How was the rest of your evening? Successful, I take it. 351 00:19:25,113 --> 00:19:30,107 Oh, my goodness. I'm in big trouble. I Iove this girl! 352 00:19:30,786 --> 00:19:32,276 You know, that's usually a good thing. 353 00:19:32,371 --> 00:19:35,169 It's hard enough to get elected the first black President 354 00:19:35,232 --> 00:19:38,065 without having Julia Roberts on your arm at the inauguration. 355 00:19:38,126 --> 00:19:41,061 That is an impressive mental Ieap, Russ, 356 00:19:41,129 --> 00:19:44,895 going from a one-night stand to being sworn in as President. 357 00:19:46,126 --> 00:19:47,491 Open it. 358 00:19:47,569 --> 00:19:50,663 I know you're dying to know what's inside. 359 00:19:50,739 --> 00:19:54,539 Just her name alone, Summer Hartley, is driving me... 360 00:19:54,601 --> 00:19:57,297 Look it! You got a tear right there! I see it. 361 00:19:57,387 --> 00:20:00,254 Come on through. You can do it. 362 00:20:00,307 --> 00:20:02,138 Thank you. Yes. 363 00:20:07,114 --> 00:20:09,514 -It's a diary. -Sweet Jesus. Let me see. 364 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:13,798 No! Stop! Stop right there. We're not gonna read this. We can't. 365 00:20:14,571 --> 00:20:18,905 WILLIAM: "The boys' dorm is across the quad, their windows visible from ours. 366 00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:22,076 "The evenings are hot and sticky. 367 00:20:22,129 --> 00:20:26,532 "We are all half-dressed, pretending we can't be seen by the boys. 368 00:20:26,608 --> 00:20:29,543 "Some of us are bold. My new friend 369 00:20:30,337 --> 00:20:32,328 "Emily is sweet 370 00:20:33,307 --> 00:20:37,437 "and embarrassed by it all, always waiting to see what I will do." 371 00:20:38,186 --> 00:20:42,816 Don't stop! This is good stuff. Where were you? Okay. 372 00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:47,428 "It's our Iast night, and the plan has been in place for days. 373 00:20:47,487 --> 00:20:50,012 "Emily and I are the Iast to Ieave, 374 00:20:50,115 --> 00:20:54,814 "and as we reach the stairs, I grab Emily firmly by her wrist. 375 00:20:54,870 --> 00:21:00,308 "She Iooks up at me expectantly and I know what will happen next." 376 00:21:00,375 --> 00:21:02,400 -Do you? -I think I have a pretty good idea. 377 00:21:02,486 --> 00:21:04,920 Oh, my goodness! 378 00:21:05,672 --> 00:21:08,664 What are you doing? This is good stuff, man! 379 00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:12,111 Wait a minute. 380 00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:15,387 Is that your Emily? 381 00:21:15,849 --> 00:21:17,714 Good night, Russell! 382 00:21:18,393 --> 00:21:20,327 She is a freak! 383 00:21:20,387 --> 00:21:22,719 Put the picture back! 384 00:21:36,570 --> 00:21:37,901 WILLIAM: Wow. 385 00:21:42,976 --> 00:21:46,605 -HAMPTON: Who is it? -Will Hayes. I called earlier. 386 00:21:46,663 --> 00:21:47,687 (CLEARS THROAT) 387 00:21:47,748 --> 00:21:50,148 HAMPTON: You a Jehovah's Witness? 388 00:21:50,217 --> 00:21:51,479 No. 389 00:21:51,551 --> 00:21:53,416 Christ, you're tall. 390 00:21:53,587 --> 00:21:54,576 (LATCH UNLOCKING) 391 00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:56,993 Hi. 392 00:21:57,199 --> 00:21:59,690 (BLUES MUSIC PLAYING ON PHONOGRAPH) 393 00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:09,643 -Come in. -Okay. 394 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:11,779 CIose the door behind you. 395 00:22:12,856 --> 00:22:14,118 HAMPTON: Lock it! 396 00:22:14,916 --> 00:22:19,250 Summer said to hang tight. She'II be back. She wants you to wait. 397 00:22:19,346 --> 00:22:24,283 -What do you got in there? -I don't know. Are you Summer's father? 398 00:22:24,926 --> 00:22:26,894 Yeah. I'm her daddy. 399 00:22:41,585 --> 00:22:44,577 -Drink? -No. No. It's a Iittle early for me. 400 00:22:44,638 --> 00:22:47,163 Early. You're fresh off the boat, aren't you? 401 00:22:47,249 --> 00:22:52,050 So tell me about yourself. What's your deal? What do you aspire to? 402 00:22:52,112 --> 00:22:55,343 What are your dreams? What are your fancies? 403 00:22:55,424 --> 00:22:58,086 What do you want to be when you grow up? 404 00:22:58,151 --> 00:22:59,379 -Sit down! -Okay. 405 00:22:59,453 --> 00:23:00,852 What do you do now? You... 406 00:23:00,929 --> 00:23:02,419 Wait, don't tell me. You work for your daddy. 407 00:23:02,497 --> 00:23:03,623 -No. -No, don't tell me! 408 00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:04,841 Wall Street. No! 409 00:23:04,908 --> 00:23:08,002 You kiss ass to some fancy uptown Iaw firm. 410 00:23:08,086 --> 00:23:11,078 -Actually... -No! I give up. What do you do? 411 00:23:11,139 --> 00:23:14,700 I'm working for Bill CIinton. He's running for President. 412 00:23:14,785 --> 00:23:15,911 No. 413 00:23:16,762 --> 00:23:17,922 I know who Bill CIinton is. 414 00:23:17,979 --> 00:23:20,812 Yeah, in fact, I know more about Bill CIinton than his own mother. 415 00:23:20,899 --> 00:23:21,957 -Really? -Yep. 416 00:23:22,008 --> 00:23:24,636 -What do you do? -What do I do? 417 00:23:24,744 --> 00:23:26,075 I drink! 418 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:27,708 Drink! 419 00:23:28,632 --> 00:23:30,099 Be a man. 420 00:23:32,794 --> 00:23:35,126 There you go! Isn't that better? 421 00:23:36,131 --> 00:23:37,462 Swallow! 422 00:23:39,334 --> 00:23:41,199 So tell me about Bill CIinton. 423 00:23:44,831 --> 00:23:46,822 Hey. Wake up. 424 00:23:57,344 --> 00:23:59,107 You want some aspirin? 425 00:24:05,694 --> 00:24:08,060 -You must be Will. -Hi. 426 00:24:08,672 --> 00:24:11,664 I see you drank my boyfriend under the table. 427 00:24:12,726 --> 00:24:15,854 -WILLIAM: He's not your father? -(CHUCKLES) Is that what he told you? 428 00:24:16,012 --> 00:24:17,001 Hmm. 429 00:24:17,180 --> 00:24:19,114 He's my thesis advisor. 430 00:24:19,207 --> 00:24:20,196 Oh. 431 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:21,960 What else did he tell you? 432 00:24:22,018 --> 00:24:25,385 He was telling me how to be a real man, as opposed to the sort of 433 00:24:25,472 --> 00:24:28,839 -boy-man I seem to be. -Did you Iearn anything? 434 00:24:29,551 --> 00:24:31,815 Yeah, there's a Iot of drinking involved. 435 00:24:31,878 --> 00:24:34,142 AIso cursing and fighting. 436 00:24:34,214 --> 00:24:35,579 -Sex? -Yes. 437 00:24:35,665 --> 00:24:37,496 AIthough that's not what we real men call it. 438 00:24:37,551 --> 00:24:39,451 What do you call it? 439 00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:44,884 I have something for you. This is from Emily. 440 00:24:45,867 --> 00:24:49,701 -Haven't talked to her in ages. -We'II be moving in together in the fall. 441 00:24:49,771 --> 00:24:50,965 Uh-huh. 442 00:24:52,232 --> 00:24:54,393 Oh, please! Daddy. 443 00:24:54,493 --> 00:24:55,824 (LAUGHING) 444 00:24:59,047 --> 00:25:00,810 Oh, come on! No. 445 00:25:01,833 --> 00:25:03,391 Oh, this is... 446 00:25:13,061 --> 00:25:14,790 Did you read this? 447 00:25:15,422 --> 00:25:16,684 I didn't. 448 00:25:20,293 --> 00:25:22,659 -I read a page. -A page. 449 00:25:22,737 --> 00:25:24,398 -Two pages at the most. -Two? 450 00:25:24,464 --> 00:25:27,490 And the part about you and Emily touching each other and kissing. 451 00:25:27,634 --> 00:25:32,799 -Oh! That part, yeah. -Incredibly descriptive. I felt Iike I was there. 452 00:25:33,590 --> 00:25:35,558 You're a great writer. I mean... 453 00:25:35,617 --> 00:25:38,552 I think you should keep it. You should read it when you're Ionely. 454 00:25:38,620 --> 00:25:42,818 -I can't. It's your diary, so I can't do that. -No, really, really. I just, I don't need it. 455 00:25:42,908 --> 00:25:45,001 I've already got it memorized, so I'II just Ieave it on the table. 456 00:25:45,068 --> 00:25:47,366 Keep a hard copy. That might be nice for me. 457 00:25:47,429 --> 00:25:48,987 (BOTH LAUGHING) 458 00:25:49,497 --> 00:25:52,660 I wonder why Emily gave it to you to give to me. 459 00:25:52,742 --> 00:25:53,834 Hmm. 460 00:25:55,912 --> 00:25:57,209 Hampton? 461 00:25:57,889 --> 00:26:00,357 -Hampton? -Are you gonna join us? 462 00:26:00,425 --> 00:26:02,791 That's Hampton Roth. He's an incredible writer. 463 00:26:02,844 --> 00:26:05,938 -His book on the McGovern campaign is... -Yeah. 464 00:26:06,623 --> 00:26:09,091 -You... -Yeah. We do. 465 00:26:10,126 --> 00:26:13,323 Look, have you ever actually had sex with a sexagenarian? 466 00:26:13,413 --> 00:26:16,405 -I haven't. -Well, then you shouldn't really judge. 467 00:26:16,458 --> 00:26:19,450 Well, actually, I'm not judging. Look at you. 468 00:26:19,519 --> 00:26:22,818 You're beautiful. You're sophisticated. You're a very talented writer. 469 00:26:22,922 --> 00:26:23,946 Thank you. 470 00:26:23,999 --> 00:26:26,331 I mean, to please a woman Iike you, it would obviously take a... 471 00:26:26,418 --> 00:26:28,147 -Real man. -Exactly. 472 00:26:28,203 --> 00:26:32,401 -Hard to compete with that. -Well, unless you're the competitive type. 473 00:26:34,167 --> 00:26:38,103 -Yep, nice to meet you. -Yeah, it was great meeting you, too. 474 00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:41,142 I feel horrible about taking the... 475 00:26:53,828 --> 00:26:54,988 Sorry. 476 00:26:56,172 --> 00:26:58,037 I was just curious. 477 00:26:58,783 --> 00:27:02,082 Hampton encourages me to cultivate my curiosity. 478 00:27:03,563 --> 00:27:06,054 He says it's the key to being a good journalist. 479 00:27:06,658 --> 00:27:07,818 Yeah. 480 00:27:08,043 --> 00:27:11,069 HAMPTON: Summer! Daddy's hungry! 481 00:27:12,247 --> 00:27:14,738 -Speak of the devil. Better go. Yeah. -Hmm. 482 00:27:14,833 --> 00:27:15,891 HAMPTON: Where the hell are you? 483 00:27:15,976 --> 00:27:17,637 -Okay, bye. -Bye. 484 00:27:17,994 --> 00:27:21,452 Yeah, give us a call sometime. We should all go out for dinner. 485 00:27:21,531 --> 00:27:23,294 I'd... Yeah, I'd Iove dinner. 486 00:27:23,366 --> 00:27:24,799 -Yeah. -HAMPTON: Hey! 487 00:27:27,220 --> 00:27:29,745 -Are you gonna call her? -Are you insane? 488 00:27:29,839 --> 00:27:32,069 -Well, what are you gonna do? -What am I gonna do? 489 00:27:32,150 --> 00:27:33,174 (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) 490 00:27:33,226 --> 00:27:37,720 I'm gonna keep my eye on the ball. Emily and I have a future. We have a plan. 491 00:27:37,822 --> 00:27:39,722 Which may involve some type of threesome now. 492 00:27:39,766 --> 00:27:42,428 Or foursome if that old dude is still in the picture. 493 00:27:42,519 --> 00:27:44,350 You're not helping. 494 00:27:45,213 --> 00:27:49,809 I never should have opened that diary. It's Iike Pandora's hot, sexy box. 495 00:27:50,719 --> 00:27:52,050 MAYA: What's a threesome? 496 00:27:52,112 --> 00:27:53,943 -What? -A threesome. 497 00:27:56,366 --> 00:28:00,393 That's a game that adults play sometimes when they're bored. 498 00:28:03,256 --> 00:28:06,123 Whatever. So what happened with Emily? 499 00:28:06,209 --> 00:28:08,734 Nothing. I wanted to wait till she came for a visit, 500 00:28:08,803 --> 00:28:11,636 and then I decided to do something really dramatic. 501 00:28:12,891 --> 00:28:15,985 WILLIAM: It was just one week before the primary, and I had graduated 502 00:28:16,060 --> 00:28:20,520 from bagels and toilet paper to signs and bumper stickers. 503 00:28:22,233 --> 00:28:23,257 (SCREAMS) 504 00:28:23,318 --> 00:28:25,309 Jesus! Mercy! 505 00:28:25,403 --> 00:28:26,927 Hold, please. 506 00:28:27,764 --> 00:28:29,755 What am I doing here? 507 00:28:33,553 --> 00:28:38,115 Move over! Another foot! Go, another foot. Move over! 508 00:28:38,166 --> 00:28:40,327 Over, over, over! 509 00:28:45,248 --> 00:28:48,479 Just want to Iet everyone know that the new signs are ready. 510 00:28:48,568 --> 00:28:50,297 They're Iooking good. 511 00:28:50,345 --> 00:28:52,370 I wrote three speeches for Congressman Sweeney. 512 00:28:52,455 --> 00:28:53,683 (STAPLING CONTINUES) 513 00:28:53,765 --> 00:28:55,027 How's high school? 514 00:28:55,100 --> 00:28:59,036 He's from Texas. His name's George Bush. But he is not the President. 515 00:28:59,095 --> 00:29:01,154 Instead, he's the eldest son of George and Barbara 516 00:29:01,239 --> 00:29:03,605 and considered a key political advisor of the White House. 517 00:29:03,650 --> 00:29:05,584 Bryant, well, you forgot to mention the Texas Rangers. 518 00:29:05,652 --> 00:29:06,676 BRYANT: Oh, okay. 519 00:29:06,778 --> 00:29:08,678 Man, if this guy's smart, he'II go back to baseball. 520 00:29:08,755 --> 00:29:10,120 -No kidding. -Anybody see Hayes? 521 00:29:10,165 --> 00:29:11,223 -No. -No. 522 00:29:11,658 --> 00:29:15,185 Hayes! Where is Hayes? Hayes! 523 00:29:15,753 --> 00:29:18,654 Is it true you graduated first of your class at Madison? 524 00:29:18,706 --> 00:29:20,435 -Yeah. -AII right. 525 00:29:20,500 --> 00:29:22,331 -Come on. We're walking. -We're walking. 526 00:29:22,427 --> 00:29:24,486 Here's a Iist of Madison graduates in the New York area. 527 00:29:24,546 --> 00:29:26,377 These people earn 200 grand plus a year. 528 00:29:26,464 --> 00:29:29,922 We have a $10,000-a-plate fundraiser on Monday with 15 empty tables. 529 00:29:29,993 --> 00:29:32,461 I can't have that, Hayes. I need you to sell five of them. 530 00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:34,215 Hold on. No more coffee, bagels? 531 00:29:34,305 --> 00:29:36,034 -We'II see how this goes, okay? -Gareth. 532 00:29:36,115 --> 00:29:39,812 -What? -Thank you. I'm really happy right now. 533 00:29:39,894 --> 00:29:41,725 -Okay, Hayes. -Okay. 534 00:29:41,813 --> 00:29:45,874 -There's the desk. -Look at that. Yeah. 535 00:29:47,035 --> 00:29:49,230 Yeah, that's funny, the toilet paper. 536 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:51,811 That's good because it's ironic. 537 00:29:51,873 --> 00:29:54,774 Yeah, that's right, everybody. My desk. 538 00:29:55,468 --> 00:29:57,766 Right here, I got a desk, and I got a Iist. 539 00:29:57,829 --> 00:30:01,060 And I have a phone. And this empty basket. 540 00:30:01,140 --> 00:30:02,505 No, no, no, I really don't agree 541 00:30:02,550 --> 00:30:06,077 that the Governor has a character problem, Mrs. Perleman. 542 00:30:06,171 --> 00:30:08,469 Did you know that 50% of Americans believe that 543 00:30:08,531 --> 00:30:10,192 marijuana use should be Iegalized? 544 00:30:10,250 --> 00:30:11,274 (PHONE LINE DRONES) 545 00:30:11,367 --> 00:30:12,391 Hello? 546 00:30:12,485 --> 00:30:15,420 No, no, no, he wasn't a draft dodger. 547 00:30:15,538 --> 00:30:18,473 Besides, did you know that the majority of Americans believe 548 00:30:18,541 --> 00:30:21,635 that the Vietnam War was just a terrible idea? 549 00:30:22,178 --> 00:30:23,577 Both Iegs. 550 00:30:23,705 --> 00:30:26,469 Wow, I am sorry. You must miss them. 551 00:30:26,541 --> 00:30:28,270 (PHONE LINE DRONES) 552 00:30:28,493 --> 00:30:33,897 Yes, I understand your concern, but I think you should remember 553 00:30:36,059 --> 00:30:38,926 that the Governor comes from a town called Hope. 554 00:30:39,746 --> 00:30:43,079 And hope is exactly what he stands for, so... 555 00:30:43,249 --> 00:30:46,810 No, no, I know it's corny, but I also think 556 00:30:46,895 --> 00:30:50,831 that sometimes corny is exactly what this country needs. 557 00:30:52,467 --> 00:30:55,698 That would be wonderful. No, thank you. 558 00:30:55,770 --> 00:30:57,135 Two seats. 559 00:30:57,764 --> 00:30:59,425 Okay, great. Thank you, Mr. Bishop. 560 00:31:01,201 --> 00:31:03,829 Yeah, the dinner's next Thursday. 561 00:31:04,896 --> 00:31:06,659 Yes, when I spoke with Hillary this morning 562 00:31:06,723 --> 00:31:11,422 she said that she wanted to get to know our most important supporters. 563 00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:14,184 No, I think you'd definitely enjoy meeting her. 564 00:31:14,255 --> 00:31:15,449 Yeah. 565 00:31:17,383 --> 00:31:20,443 An entire table? No, that is very possible. 566 00:31:20,495 --> 00:31:24,591 I'II put you down for one table, then. That sounds great. 567 00:31:24,666 --> 00:31:26,793 Okay, I Iook forward to seeing you next Thursday. 568 00:31:26,893 --> 00:31:28,622 Okay, thank you. 569 00:31:31,839 --> 00:31:35,900 I just sold an entire table for $50,000. 570 00:31:40,315 --> 00:31:41,714 (ALL CHEERING) 571 00:31:41,791 --> 00:31:44,225 That's my guy, Will. My guy. 572 00:31:48,765 --> 00:31:51,734 ALL: (CHANTING) Toilet paper guy! Toilet paper guy! 573 00:31:52,602 --> 00:31:55,503 Good evening, gentlemen. Pack of Reds, please. 574 00:31:55,580 --> 00:31:58,447 3.60. New tax and a new warning. 575 00:31:59,417 --> 00:32:00,543 Christ. 576 00:32:01,311 --> 00:32:03,711 MAN: Tell us the truth, my friend. 577 00:32:03,788 --> 00:32:06,450 -Did that CIinton inhale or not? -What does it matter? 578 00:32:06,499 --> 00:32:09,866 That's Iike if your girlfriend catches you in bed with another woman, then you say, 579 00:32:09,952 --> 00:32:11,180 "But we didn't do it." 580 00:32:11,271 --> 00:32:14,502 -What, is that gonna matter to her? -Yeah, it does. Hi. 581 00:32:14,716 --> 00:32:18,083 -Hello. -Pack of American Eagles, blue, please. 582 00:32:18,152 --> 00:32:19,619 4.25. 583 00:32:19,687 --> 00:32:23,316 4.25? You pay $4.25 for a pack of cigarettes? 584 00:32:23,383 --> 00:32:25,317 They don't put as many chemicals in them. 585 00:32:25,385 --> 00:32:28,115 -So those are healthy cigarettes. -Something Iike that. 586 00:32:28,187 --> 00:32:30,246 So if there's not as many chemicals in them, 587 00:32:30,331 --> 00:32:33,425 they should cost Iess, not more, don't you think? 588 00:32:33,501 --> 00:32:36,197 They put saltpeter in your cigarettes, 589 00:32:36,287 --> 00:32:39,745 which make them burn faster, which make you smoke more. 590 00:32:39,849 --> 00:32:45,378 Which means, at the end of the day, your cigarettes actually cost more, not Iess. 591 00:32:47,832 --> 00:32:50,596 Copy girl, what I think you're actually paying for 592 00:32:50,668 --> 00:32:53,728 is the picture of the eagle and the pretty pastel colors. 593 00:32:53,813 --> 00:32:58,273 Some reassuring idea about your Iifestyle. The rest is pretty much crap. 594 00:32:58,835 --> 00:33:00,735 -You wanna bet? -Sure. 595 00:33:00,812 --> 00:33:03,280 -20 bucks. -I got 20 bucks. 596 00:33:03,339 --> 00:33:04,738 Easiest 20 bucks I ever made. 597 00:33:04,824 --> 00:33:05,848 -Really? -Yeah. 598 00:33:05,900 --> 00:33:07,595 WILLIAM: That's funny. In a minute, I'II have 40. 599 00:33:07,677 --> 00:33:10,942 Okay, we have to inhale at the same time for the same amount of time. 600 00:33:11,022 --> 00:33:13,513 -Yep. -Ready, steady, go. 601 00:33:23,109 --> 00:33:26,374 -It's my birthday today. -Happy birthday. 602 00:33:35,688 --> 00:33:37,986 Why aren't you out celebrating? 603 00:33:38,599 --> 00:33:42,535 My boyfriend, Lucas, was taking me out for dinner and then to a party. 604 00:33:42,603 --> 00:33:47,302 But at Iast minute, he gets a gig in Philly, which, of course, he takes 'cause... 605 00:33:56,209 --> 00:33:57,938 Truth is he's far more interested in being 606 00:33:57,985 --> 00:34:00,977 the next Kurt Cobain than being my boyfriend. 607 00:34:01,431 --> 00:34:03,126 Who's Kurt Cobain? 608 00:34:04,459 --> 00:34:06,154 You're kidding me! 609 00:34:07,412 --> 00:34:08,674 What? 610 00:34:09,489 --> 00:34:10,786 Smoke. 611 00:34:16,329 --> 00:34:17,318 Oh. 612 00:34:17,555 --> 00:34:19,921 -Look at that. -Look at that. 613 00:34:20,249 --> 00:34:21,773 (CLICKING TONGUE) 614 00:34:23,236 --> 00:34:24,225 (GROANS) 615 00:34:24,312 --> 00:34:25,506 (LAUGHING) 616 00:34:25,588 --> 00:34:28,785 -AII right. -No, come on. 617 00:34:28,841 --> 00:34:30,331 The satisfaction of me being right 618 00:34:30,426 --> 00:34:33,554 and you being wrong is more than enough for me. 619 00:34:33,621 --> 00:34:35,816 Well, I never welsh on a bet, so I'II tell you what. 620 00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:38,705 I'II take you out for dinner, for a birthday dinner. 621 00:34:38,768 --> 00:34:40,395 -What do you say? -Like a date? 622 00:34:40,461 --> 00:34:42,224 No, I didn't mean it Iike that. 623 00:34:42,296 --> 00:34:43,695 Like an "I feel sorry for you 624 00:34:43,773 --> 00:34:46,264 "because it's your birthday and you have no plans" dinner. 625 00:34:46,325 --> 00:34:48,987 -You know, one of those. -Well, I'II tell you what. 626 00:34:49,086 --> 00:34:51,077 You can take me to this party I have to go to, 627 00:34:51,138 --> 00:34:54,073 because there's no way I can face going alone. 628 00:34:56,269 --> 00:34:58,328 (TRIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 629 00:35:01,466 --> 00:35:03,900 MAN: Yeah, I'm gonna go head over... 630 00:35:05,636 --> 00:35:06,796 Whoa. 631 00:35:08,664 --> 00:35:10,962 I think I'm a Iittle out of my Ieague here. 632 00:35:11,017 --> 00:35:12,848 Yes, you are. 633 00:35:17,448 --> 00:35:20,645 So Emily is what, Iike, your college sweetheart? 634 00:35:20,701 --> 00:35:22,669 -It's amazing how you do that. -What? 635 00:35:22,728 --> 00:35:24,320 The way you take the simplest statement, 636 00:35:24,397 --> 00:35:27,628 and then you twist it with a completely negative connotation. 637 00:35:27,700 --> 00:35:30,692 -It's really, actually, impressive. I'm amazed. -I didn't mean to do that. 638 00:35:30,795 --> 00:35:33,229 -But I understand. I get it. -I actually think it's very sweet. 639 00:35:33,297 --> 00:35:34,696 -See, you did it again. -Really? 640 00:35:34,741 --> 00:35:36,174 -Yeah. -I don't even know I'm doing it. 641 00:35:36,242 --> 00:35:39,405 It's probably hard for you to imagine a relationship based on mutual respect 642 00:35:39,495 --> 00:35:43,329 without even the slightest hint of whatever you call it, masochism. 643 00:35:43,382 --> 00:35:46,476 Well, if your deal with Emily is so gosh darn wonderful, 644 00:35:46,561 --> 00:35:48,358 then why don't you just marry her? 645 00:35:48,429 --> 00:35:50,260 What's stopping you? 646 00:35:51,390 --> 00:35:52,652 Nothing. 647 00:35:54,352 --> 00:35:55,683 -Wow. -Wow. 648 00:35:58,739 --> 00:36:00,604 She gets it tomorrow. I made a reservation 649 00:36:00,691 --> 00:36:02,955 at some fancy French restaurant on the Upper East Side. 650 00:36:03,027 --> 00:36:06,258 Oh, my God. You're doing it in front of a room full of strangers? 651 00:36:06,339 --> 00:36:11,003 -Yeah, I am. What's wrong with that? -No, nothing. I think it shows confidence. 652 00:36:11,060 --> 00:36:12,118 What are you gonna say? 653 00:36:12,203 --> 00:36:15,104 -I'm still working on it. I don't know. -Oh, you should work on it with me. 654 00:36:15,181 --> 00:36:19,709 You should practice with me. I'm really good at that. I will be Emily. 655 00:36:19,752 --> 00:36:24,155 I'm Emily, your college sweetheart. Is there something you wanted to ask me? 656 00:36:24,240 --> 00:36:26,504 -Emily... -Wait! You've got to get down on your knee. 657 00:36:26,567 --> 00:36:28,535 No, I'm not getting down on my knee. 658 00:36:28,603 --> 00:36:31,128 She'II Iike it. She'II Iike seeing you down on your knee. 659 00:36:31,222 --> 00:36:36,285 -I'm not getting down on my knee. -Such a mistake. Okay. 660 00:36:36,811 --> 00:36:38,676 -Emily. -Yes, William. 661 00:36:38,754 --> 00:36:41,120 Don't make me Iaugh. Emily, 662 00:36:41,590 --> 00:36:43,114 will you, 663 00:36:43,951 --> 00:36:44,975 um, 664 00:36:46,821 --> 00:36:48,288 marry me? 665 00:36:49,098 --> 00:36:52,192 -No. -Oh, my God. 666 00:36:52,268 --> 00:36:54,099 Well, what do you mean, "Will you, um, marry me?" 667 00:36:54,153 --> 00:36:55,745 I haven't seen you in weeks! 668 00:36:55,821 --> 00:36:58,949 You don't Iook happy or excited about the prospect of our marriage! 669 00:36:59,058 --> 00:37:02,960 You're asking me to give up my freedom, 670 00:37:03,004 --> 00:37:04,403 my joie de vivre 671 00:37:04,472 --> 00:37:07,066 for an institution that fails as often as it succeeds? 672 00:37:07,133 --> 00:37:10,967 And why should I marry you, anyway? I mean, why do you wanna marry me? 673 00:37:11,070 --> 00:37:14,528 Besides some bourgeois desire to fulfill an ideal that society embeds in us 674 00:37:14,598 --> 00:37:17,499 from an early age to promote a consumer capitalist agenda? 675 00:37:17,568 --> 00:37:18,592 Oh! 676 00:37:19,070 --> 00:37:21,038 (CHUCKLING) Oh, my God! 677 00:37:21,105 --> 00:37:24,268 -You should've got on your knee! -Just shut up! 678 00:37:26,293 --> 00:37:27,590 Here. 679 00:37:28,913 --> 00:37:31,438 I wanna marry you because you're the first person 680 00:37:31,490 --> 00:37:33,583 that I want to Iook at when I wake up in the morning 681 00:37:33,659 --> 00:37:36,287 and the only one I wanna kiss goodnight. 682 00:37:36,370 --> 00:37:40,170 Because the first time that I saw these hands, 683 00:37:40,933 --> 00:37:43,493 I couldn't imagine not being able to hold them. 684 00:37:43,544 --> 00:37:47,207 But mainly, when you Iove someone as much as I Iove you 685 00:37:49,817 --> 00:37:52,149 getting married is the only thing Ieft to do. 686 00:37:52,219 --> 00:37:54,653 So will you... 687 00:37:57,667 --> 00:37:58,793 Um... 688 00:38:01,645 --> 00:38:03,169 marry me? 689 00:38:04,031 --> 00:38:06,261 Definitely. Maybe. 690 00:38:07,727 --> 00:38:09,854 I have to think about it. 691 00:38:11,981 --> 00:38:13,505 Walk me home? 692 00:38:15,509 --> 00:38:17,409 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) 693 00:38:23,851 --> 00:38:26,945 -Do you want a cup of tea? -Yeah. I'd Iove one. 694 00:38:30,199 --> 00:38:31,427 Hey. 695 00:38:31,509 --> 00:38:33,841 How come you have so many copies of Jane Eyre? 696 00:38:33,895 --> 00:38:36,659 -It's a Iong story. -Really? 697 00:38:37,598 --> 00:38:39,589 It seems to be about 300 pages or so. 698 00:38:39,684 --> 00:38:40,946 (LAUGHS) 699 00:38:41,544 --> 00:38:43,136 WILLIAM: Seriously, why? 700 00:38:44,438 --> 00:38:48,306 For my 13th birthday, I wanted a pair of gold stud earrings, 701 00:38:48,384 --> 00:38:52,582 and instead my dad bought me a hardcover copy of Jane Eyre. 702 00:38:52,671 --> 00:38:56,937 And inside, he wrote a beautiful inscription, which I could care Iess about at the time 703 00:38:57,009 --> 00:38:59,739 seeing as I was so pissed about the earrings, 704 00:38:59,787 --> 00:39:04,690 which was tragic as it turned out 'cause it was the Iast present he ever gave me. 705 00:39:04,750 --> 00:39:06,149 What do you mean? 706 00:39:06,235 --> 00:39:09,227 He died three weeks Iater in a car accident. 707 00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:12,843 Jesus. That's awful. 708 00:39:13,793 --> 00:39:15,192 I'm sorry. 709 00:39:15,544 --> 00:39:18,377 -Have you ever read it? -No. 710 00:39:18,439 --> 00:39:21,533 I read it every year or two. Each time it's different. 711 00:39:21,609 --> 00:39:23,907 It tells me different things. 712 00:39:24,945 --> 00:39:29,814 Anyhow, when I went away to college, my mom sold our house 713 00:39:29,892 --> 00:39:32,725 and somewhere along the way, Jane Eyre got Iost. 714 00:39:32,787 --> 00:39:36,052 Now, every time I pass a second-hand bookstore, 715 00:39:36,123 --> 00:39:39,115 I Iook for the copy that my dad bought me for my birthday. 716 00:39:39,218 --> 00:39:40,446 (COME AS YOU ARE PLAYING) 717 00:39:40,494 --> 00:39:41,722 I know I'II never find it. 718 00:39:41,796 --> 00:39:46,631 It's stupid, but it's become this, Iike, weird superstitious Iittle... 719 00:39:46,726 --> 00:39:50,059 -It's not stupid. -Thanks. Hobby. 720 00:39:50,921 --> 00:39:52,855 What are all these? 721 00:39:52,973 --> 00:39:57,137 Oh, these are the ones I found that have inscriptions. 722 00:39:59,839 --> 00:40:04,139 "With Iove and hopes and dreams of second chances. AIice." 723 00:40:07,246 --> 00:40:08,474 What is this? 724 00:40:08,522 --> 00:40:12,322 This is Kurt Cobain. This is Nirvana. Do you Iike it? 725 00:40:13,277 --> 00:40:14,869 Yeah, I do. 726 00:40:16,414 --> 00:40:19,247 You think it's ridiculous that I want to be a politician, don't you? 727 00:40:19,300 --> 00:40:21,063 -Yes. -Thank you. 728 00:40:21,661 --> 00:40:25,927 No, no, I get the whole politician thing. It's easy to Iike you. 729 00:40:26,006 --> 00:40:28,770 That's true. That's very true. 730 00:40:28,834 --> 00:40:32,793 I just wonder if you want people to Iike you a Iittle too much. 731 00:40:33,214 --> 00:40:35,148 That's also true. 732 00:40:35,216 --> 00:40:37,116 I should want them to hate me. 733 00:40:37,685 --> 00:40:40,210 I'm gonna start working on that right away. You got any tips for me? 734 00:40:40,304 --> 00:40:41,965 No, but you're off to a great start. 735 00:40:42,022 --> 00:40:43,080 -Yeah? -I'm hating you already. 736 00:40:43,165 --> 00:40:44,257 Good. 737 00:40:44,333 --> 00:40:45,891 What do you wanna be when you grow up? 738 00:40:45,976 --> 00:40:48,240 I mean, you're too smart to be making Xeroxes 739 00:40:48,312 --> 00:40:49,643 -and babysitting. -No. 740 00:40:49,697 --> 00:40:52,723 -I don't know! -Whatever else you do. 741 00:40:52,816 --> 00:40:56,445 I don't know, and I don't know how to know. You know? 742 00:40:57,071 --> 00:40:58,265 (SIGHS) 743 00:40:58,873 --> 00:41:01,171 You know what I really wanna do 744 00:41:01,242 --> 00:41:05,042 is I wanna go to all those places that I know nothing about. 745 00:41:06,188 --> 00:41:08,281 I've been saving money. 746 00:41:08,357 --> 00:41:10,416 But I can't even get it together to do that. 747 00:41:10,501 --> 00:41:12,969 Probably because I'm stuck in a rut with this guy. 748 00:41:13,028 --> 00:41:14,689 You should dump him. 749 00:41:14,755 --> 00:41:19,624 I know that's none of my business, but you're too good for him. 750 00:41:20,010 --> 00:41:21,375 You are. 751 00:41:23,431 --> 00:41:26,093 -You know what's really cool? -I don't. 752 00:41:26,183 --> 00:41:29,914 We can just sit here and we don't have to worry about 753 00:41:29,995 --> 00:41:34,227 -flirting or all the attraction stuff. -AII that stuff. 754 00:41:35,334 --> 00:41:36,665 Very cool. 755 00:41:37,186 --> 00:41:38,312 Yeah. 756 00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:40,852 (BLUES MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO) 757 00:41:55,179 --> 00:41:57,010 I got to go. 758 00:42:01,068 --> 00:42:02,433 Dumbass! 759 00:42:36,295 --> 00:42:37,956 (ELEVATOR DINGING) 760 00:42:50,910 --> 00:42:52,502 (PANTING) 761 00:42:54,021 --> 00:42:55,352 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 762 00:42:55,981 --> 00:42:57,243 (SCREAMS) 763 00:42:58,100 --> 00:43:00,364 (HOUSEKEEPER SHOUTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 764 00:43:07,251 --> 00:43:09,344 -Oh, God. -RUSSELL: There he is! 765 00:43:09,420 --> 00:43:13,186 -Told you he wouldn't be Iong. -Hi! I wanted to surprise you! 766 00:43:13,265 --> 00:43:16,632 -I took the red-eye! -(WHEEZING) That's incredible! 767 00:43:17,511 --> 00:43:22,676 I was just telling Emily how Arthur sent you to AIbany as part of the advance team. 768 00:43:22,775 --> 00:43:24,766 -Advance team. -RUSSELL: Yeah. How'd it go? 769 00:43:24,827 --> 00:43:28,058 -How'd it go? Man, it went great! -Great. 770 00:43:28,138 --> 00:43:29,628 -Great. -Great. 771 00:43:30,165 --> 00:43:33,794 -Are you okay? -Oh, yeah, I was just getting a Iittle exercise. 772 00:43:33,861 --> 00:43:35,590 -I ran up the stairs. -Okay. 773 00:43:35,671 --> 00:43:40,040 I'm going to the office. It's... Got a big day. Nice meeting you. 774 00:43:40,125 --> 00:43:41,217 -And you. -Okay. 775 00:43:41,293 --> 00:43:42,453 Okay. 776 00:43:43,404 --> 00:43:44,803 (WHISPERING) Good Iuck. 777 00:43:48,017 --> 00:43:49,484 -Hi. -Hi. 778 00:43:50,711 --> 00:43:52,838 -Here. -Yeah. 779 00:43:54,990 --> 00:43:56,252 Hey. 780 00:44:04,475 --> 00:44:07,672 -It's weird. Your tongue tastes different. -What? 781 00:44:08,420 --> 00:44:09,978 It tastes different, your tongue. 782 00:44:10,064 --> 00:44:13,693 -That is weird. -It's not bad. It's just different. 783 00:44:14,893 --> 00:44:17,157 Maybe it's the tap water here. 784 00:44:17,229 --> 00:44:20,630 Or the pH balance... I don't know what I'm talking about. 785 00:44:20,707 --> 00:44:23,608 Told you New York was gonna change you. 786 00:44:24,903 --> 00:44:27,167 -Could we maybe go for a walk? -Yeah. 787 00:44:27,239 --> 00:44:29,605 -Just to get some air? -Yeah, you could see New York. 788 00:44:29,700 --> 00:44:30,894 I would Iove that. 789 00:44:31,276 --> 00:44:32,868 WILLIAM: So, did I ever tell you... EMILY: I was gonna... 790 00:44:32,945 --> 00:44:35,072 -Oh, sorry. No, go. -What? 791 00:44:35,748 --> 00:44:41,550 I was gonna say, did I ever tell you about the day my dad proposed to my mom? 792 00:44:42,087 --> 00:44:43,111 No. 793 00:44:44,123 --> 00:44:47,388 Well, Dad was on his way to meet my mom to propose, 794 00:44:47,459 --> 00:44:51,759 and he runs into his ex-girlfriend, Caroline Hopper. 795 00:44:52,856 --> 00:44:55,324 And they're talking, they're Iooking at each other, 796 00:44:55,384 --> 00:44:57,318 and all these old feelings, they start coming up. 797 00:44:57,386 --> 00:44:59,513 And he's thinking, 798 00:44:59,613 --> 00:45:00,671 (SIGHS) 799 00:45:00,756 --> 00:45:03,884 "I could run away right now with Caroline Hopper, 800 00:45:03,942 --> 00:45:05,637 "be a happy man. 801 00:45:05,736 --> 00:45:07,829 "AII I have to do is kiss her." 802 00:45:07,896 --> 00:45:10,956 But instead, he Iooks up, 803 00:45:13,902 --> 00:45:17,338 and he sees my mom walking around the corner. 804 00:45:18,081 --> 00:45:21,482 And that moment he knows that he had no reason to be afraid. 805 00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:23,221 You understand? 806 00:45:25,614 --> 00:45:28,845 Am I Caroline Hopper in this story or your mom? 807 00:45:29,067 --> 00:45:30,159 (EMILY GASPS) 808 00:45:30,235 --> 00:45:31,429 Oh, my God! I'm your mom! 809 00:45:31,478 --> 00:45:33,275 -Emily, when I saw you this morning... -Will, please. 810 00:45:33,338 --> 00:45:34,703 -...I knew... -Put that back in your pocket. 811 00:45:34,782 --> 00:45:36,306 -Just stand up, Will. Stop. -...with absolute clarity. 812 00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:37,697 -Wait, wait, wait. -I have no reason to be afraid. 813 00:45:37,768 --> 00:45:39,065 -Let's think about this. -I'm not afraid of this. 814 00:45:39,128 --> 00:45:40,390 It's just Iike the day that my... 815 00:45:40,462 --> 00:45:41,622 Will! 816 00:45:42,264 --> 00:45:43,595 I slept with Charlie! 817 00:45:43,649 --> 00:45:45,276 (BIRDS FLUTTERING) 818 00:45:45,968 --> 00:45:47,162 (SIGHS) 819 00:45:50,581 --> 00:45:52,742 I thought we had a plan. 820 00:45:53,467 --> 00:45:57,130 Well, you had a plan, Will. You have a really big plan! 821 00:45:57,196 --> 00:45:59,187 -Pretty sure we both had that plan. -I just can't keep pretending 822 00:45:59,281 --> 00:46:00,942 -that I want to be part of it anymore. -You were there 823 00:46:00,999 --> 00:46:02,626 -when we made it. -And I didn't know how to tell you. 824 00:46:02,701 --> 00:46:03,963 How do you tell someone that you care about 825 00:46:04,044 --> 00:46:05,136 that you don't want the same things 826 00:46:05,212 --> 00:46:06,611 -they want anymore? -The best way? 827 00:46:06,672 --> 00:46:09,470 Definitely having sex with the roommate. 828 00:46:10,317 --> 00:46:11,375 (SIGHS) 829 00:46:11,460 --> 00:46:13,928 It was cowardly, and I'm sorry. 830 00:46:13,987 --> 00:46:15,716 Oh, good. 831 00:46:17,049 --> 00:46:20,212 (GROANING) 832 00:46:22,888 --> 00:46:24,549 You're killing me. 833 00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:29,101 No, I'm not. I'm Ietting you go. 834 00:46:30,037 --> 00:46:32,096 'Cause if we stay together, Will, we're gonna be miserable. 835 00:46:32,181 --> 00:46:33,409 I'm gonna hold you back from all these... 836 00:46:33,490 --> 00:46:36,755 -That's not true. -...incredible dreams that you have. 837 00:46:36,827 --> 00:46:39,660 And then, eventually, you're totally gonna hate me for it. 838 00:46:39,713 --> 00:46:40,975 -No. -Yes. 839 00:46:41,048 --> 00:46:44,245 Will, I don't want that, and you don't want that. 840 00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:46,559 Trust me. 841 00:46:51,191 --> 00:46:54,092 You're gonna be just fine, Mr. Hayes, 842 00:46:55,037 --> 00:46:56,698 without me. 843 00:46:58,090 --> 00:46:59,182 Wow. 844 00:46:59,700 --> 00:47:00,894 Yeah. 845 00:47:01,868 --> 00:47:02,994 Wow. 846 00:47:03,704 --> 00:47:06,935 ANNOUNCER: Here is Tom Brokaw in New York. 847 00:47:07,015 --> 00:47:09,609 Good evening. Bill Clinton may have been wounded in New York, 848 00:47:09,693 --> 00:47:11,524 but the big question tonight is, to what degree? 849 00:47:11,578 --> 00:47:14,979 Because, after all, he is the big survivor, indeed, the victor 850 00:47:15,048 --> 00:47:18,506 in the New York primary and by a comfortable margin. 851 00:47:18,610 --> 00:47:20,840 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 852 00:47:30,397 --> 00:47:32,262 (TOM CHATTERING ON TV) 853 00:47:33,734 --> 00:47:36,259 WOMEN: (SINGING) Goes 'round the moon 854 00:47:36,745 --> 00:47:41,512 I see the passion in your eyes 855 00:47:41,583 --> 00:47:46,486 Sometimes it's all a big surprise 856 00:47:46,563 --> 00:47:50,829 'Cause there was a time when all I did 857 00:47:51,068 --> 00:47:53,002 (ALL CHATTERING) 858 00:48:04,723 --> 00:48:06,452 Hey. 859 00:48:06,742 --> 00:48:08,437 Congratulations. 860 00:48:09,002 --> 00:48:11,470 I hear they asked you to stay on. You must be very happy. 861 00:48:11,563 --> 00:48:15,465 Yeah, yeah, he did, and I am. Very, very happy. 862 00:48:15,509 --> 00:48:18,069 Really? Why do I feel Iike I should hide the razor blades? 863 00:48:18,136 --> 00:48:19,797 And the staplers and those scissors? 864 00:48:19,897 --> 00:48:23,594 I'II be fine. But this song, it's an excellent cure for the will to Iive. 865 00:48:23,650 --> 00:48:26,710 I know. What about the dancing? Make that end. 866 00:48:27,796 --> 00:48:29,127 (CHUCKLES) 867 00:48:29,990 --> 00:48:32,754 I'm sorry about the other night. 868 00:48:32,826 --> 00:48:35,659 It's okay. I just didn't think that Lucas would approve. 869 00:48:35,754 --> 00:48:38,621 -Or Emily, for that matter. -(SCOFFS) Well. 870 00:48:38,657 --> 00:48:42,491 Besides, you and me, it'd kind of be Iike cats and dogs. 871 00:48:43,203 --> 00:48:44,864 Yeah. Yeah. 872 00:48:46,281 --> 00:48:49,808 -Oil and water. -Sandpaper and bare ass. 873 00:48:49,868 --> 00:48:51,995 -That's gross. That's just gross. -You'd be the ass. 874 00:48:52,104 --> 00:48:53,196 Yeah. No, thank you. 875 00:48:53,271 --> 00:48:54,602 -I'd be honored. -Lennon and McCartney. 876 00:48:54,648 --> 00:48:56,275 -They were good together. -Yeah, while it Iasted, 877 00:48:56,350 --> 00:48:59,046 and then they couldn't even be friends. 878 00:48:59,469 --> 00:49:00,561 (LAUGHING) 879 00:49:00,637 --> 00:49:04,403 -I think we can, at Ieast, manage that. -I think we could. 880 00:49:06,059 --> 00:49:07,356 (WOMAN LAUGHING) 881 00:49:07,527 --> 00:49:09,518 -Enchanté. -Yeah. Salud. 882 00:49:13,567 --> 00:49:15,501 -Come on, Iet's dance. -No. 883 00:49:15,569 --> 00:49:17,059 -Why? -Okay. 884 00:49:23,660 --> 00:49:26,060 WILLIAM: You ready? RUSSELL: Yeah. 885 00:49:36,331 --> 00:49:38,196 MAYA: Guess that's it for Emily. 886 00:49:38,258 --> 00:49:42,251 I can't believe that she rehearsed with Charlie. 887 00:49:43,764 --> 00:49:48,224 -I can't believe it, either. -That Ieaves April. Maybe Summer. 888 00:49:48,318 --> 00:49:50,548 -Anybody else? -I was too busy. 889 00:49:50,604 --> 00:49:52,970 I was too busy working on the campaign. 890 00:49:53,048 --> 00:49:54,709 Anyway, when CIinton got elected, 891 00:49:54,775 --> 00:49:56,003 Russell and I started our own consulting firm, 892 00:49:56,076 --> 00:49:57,100 (CAMERA CLICKING) 893 00:49:57,194 --> 00:49:59,856 and we worked on campaigns for everybody. 894 00:49:59,913 --> 00:50:01,403 City council, state senate. 895 00:50:01,498 --> 00:50:03,489 We even did one for the Iocal dog catcher. 896 00:50:03,558 --> 00:50:07,460 That's very interesting, Dad, but what about girlfriends? 897 00:50:07,537 --> 00:50:10,529 -What about Mom? -Well, I started dating again. 898 00:50:10,590 --> 00:50:14,321 -But nothing serious. -What about April? What happened to her? 899 00:50:14,403 --> 00:50:18,032 Well, a week after Kurt Cobain died, she broke up with her boyfriend. 900 00:50:18,090 --> 00:50:19,557 She went traveling. 901 00:50:19,624 --> 00:50:22,525 She traveled all over the world, just like she always dreamed of doing. 902 00:50:22,594 --> 00:50:26,257 And she says that it was because of something 903 00:50:26,356 --> 00:50:28,221 that I said to her on her birthday. 904 00:50:28,266 --> 00:50:31,258 Anyway, we started writing postcards. We started writing letters. 905 00:50:31,361 --> 00:50:34,694 And before I knew it, even though we were separated by entire worlds, 906 00:50:34,748 --> 00:50:36,773 we became great friends. 907 00:50:41,380 --> 00:50:44,713 WILLIAM: It was 1994, and New York was full of new life. 908 00:50:44,766 --> 00:50:46,495 More jobs, more money. 909 00:50:46,576 --> 00:50:50,068 That was the start of the Internet. And overnight, everyone in Manhattan 910 00:50:50,122 --> 00:50:51,111 had a cell phone. 911 00:50:51,214 --> 00:50:52,238 Can you hear me now? 912 00:50:52,290 --> 00:50:54,121 WILLIAM: Which they never put down. 913 00:50:56,003 --> 00:51:01,669 And then, our old boss, Arthur Robredo gave Russell and me our first big break. 914 00:51:01,758 --> 00:51:03,350 -This just came for you. -Thanks. 915 00:51:03,426 --> 00:51:07,556 I had finally made it inside the room. 916 00:51:08,014 --> 00:51:09,311 -Gareth. -Hayes. 917 00:51:09,399 --> 00:51:10,661 Good morning. 918 00:51:10,734 --> 00:51:12,395 Hey, Iet's get this party started. 919 00:51:13,095 --> 00:51:14,460 What's the word from upstate? 920 00:51:14,513 --> 00:51:17,277 WILLIAM: For the first time, New York was coming to me, 921 00:51:17,349 --> 00:51:19,510 instead of the other way around. 922 00:51:19,601 --> 00:51:22,934 "The most endangered species in our nation 923 00:51:22,988 --> 00:51:25,821 "isn't a big woodpecker or some freshwater fish. 924 00:51:25,916 --> 00:51:28,612 "It's the tongue in our heads! 925 00:51:28,660 --> 00:51:32,391 "Listen to the truncated bastard Ianguage of today. 926 00:51:32,481 --> 00:51:35,382 "The average vocabulary is a third of what it was 100 years ago. 927 00:51:35,458 --> 00:51:39,895 "Words fall out of our mouths and die at our feet! 928 00:51:39,963 --> 00:51:43,023 "The Iandscape of vocabulary is being hacked down 929 00:51:43,108 --> 00:51:46,805 "and grubbed up by the dribble of pop culture, 930 00:51:46,853 --> 00:51:48,343 "poisoned by Iazy obscenity..." 931 00:51:48,447 --> 00:51:49,505 (WHISPERING) Will? 932 00:51:49,556 --> 00:51:51,285 HAMPTON: "...infantilized by a youth-obsessed media..." 933 00:51:51,358 --> 00:51:53,053 -Hey. -Hey. 934 00:51:53,952 --> 00:51:58,685 It's my favorite man-boy. You Iook very manly. 935 00:51:58,732 --> 00:52:02,168 Well, thank you, thank you. That's the aim. 936 00:52:02,961 --> 00:52:05,429 -How's Emily? -Emily. 937 00:52:06,515 --> 00:52:09,245 She's starring in somebody else's diary now. 938 00:52:09,351 --> 00:52:10,340 Oh. 939 00:52:10,827 --> 00:52:15,127 -How's the Professor? -The Professor is wonderful. 940 00:52:15,190 --> 00:52:18,489 -He's funny. -He dumped me for a sophomore. 941 00:52:19,336 --> 00:52:21,668 Told me it was for my own good. 942 00:52:22,647 --> 00:52:25,878 Everybody seems to be using that Iine these days. 943 00:52:27,702 --> 00:52:29,636 What have you been up to? 944 00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:35,947 I'm writing these really dumb items for New York Magazine. 945 00:52:36,019 --> 00:52:37,850 Waiting for my big break. 946 00:52:37,904 --> 00:52:42,068 "And 'syntax' isn't what Nevada brothels pay the IRS." 947 00:52:42,167 --> 00:52:43,259 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) 948 00:52:43,326 --> 00:52:45,692 -I'm gonna go Iisten to the Professor. -Sure. 949 00:52:45,737 --> 00:52:46,795 Nice glasses. 950 00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:49,678 HAMPTON: "Listen to your kids if you can." 951 00:52:49,749 --> 00:52:51,876 WOMAN: Thank you. WILLIAM: Scotch, rocks, please. 952 00:52:52,727 --> 00:52:55,287 William Hayes! 953 00:52:57,224 --> 00:52:59,522 From... Don't tell me! 954 00:52:59,584 --> 00:53:02,747 Wisconsin! Yes, the Cheese State. 955 00:53:04,898 --> 00:53:06,490 Very nice of you to come to our Iittle shindig. 956 00:53:06,574 --> 00:53:07,939 -I'II have another, please. -PIeasure. 957 00:53:08,026 --> 00:53:12,224 Yeah. Summer tells me you're writing speeches now for Arthur Robredo? 958 00:53:12,272 --> 00:53:16,538 -She tells me you're dating a sophomore. -No. Actually, it's two freshmen, 959 00:53:16,601 --> 00:53:20,037 which, on a good day, add up to a sophomore, I suppose. 960 00:53:21,306 --> 00:53:24,867 Walk with me. Why would you wanna work for a hack Iike Arthur Robredo? 961 00:53:24,951 --> 00:53:30,583 As I recall from our first encounter, you're a man of principles and ideals, even. 962 00:53:31,266 --> 00:53:35,600 Don't tell me you're just another yuppie puppy in an Armani suit. 963 00:53:35,662 --> 00:53:39,325 You were wonderful, darling. Is he being nice? You being nice? 964 00:53:39,416 --> 00:53:42,385 -Nice? Yeah, he can handle himself. -Sure, I can handle myself. 965 00:53:42,444 --> 00:53:45,971 First of all, Arthur Robredo is not a hack. He's worked his way up from the streets. 966 00:53:46,056 --> 00:53:48,183 He was a cop, an entrepreneur. 967 00:53:48,616 --> 00:53:52,177 He's a putz. This is exactly what my book is about. 968 00:53:52,262 --> 00:53:54,162 Here. Read it. It's free. 969 00:53:55,115 --> 00:53:59,313 Beauty, ideals, Iove don't mean squat anymore. 970 00:53:59,411 --> 00:54:02,209 -It's all about power and money. -I've read every single one of your books, 971 00:54:02,263 --> 00:54:04,322 and you're completely obsessed with power and money. 972 00:54:04,407 --> 00:54:06,898 That's because he doesn't have any. Right, babe? 973 00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:09,485 Babe, I am about the Iove. 974 00:54:09,579 --> 00:54:10,944 -As you know. -Yes. 975 00:54:10,989 --> 00:54:12,013 That's why you keep me around. 976 00:54:12,107 --> 00:54:15,838 To keep that rampant, rapacious ambition of yours in check. 977 00:54:17,362 --> 00:54:19,057 I have a thought. 978 00:54:19,589 --> 00:54:24,253 Why don't you use that newly acquired scintilla of power and influence 979 00:54:24,311 --> 00:54:29,339 to get Summer here to write an article about your man Robredo? 980 00:54:29,432 --> 00:54:32,629 That way Summer gets a break, and you get the word out. 981 00:54:32,677 --> 00:54:34,736 -What do you get, Hampton? -Yeah. 982 00:54:35,638 --> 00:54:40,132 I guess it's the Iove. More of the Iove. Yeah, that's what I'm about. 983 00:54:40,193 --> 00:54:41,387 More Iove. 984 00:54:41,478 --> 00:54:43,742 -MAYA: I knew Summer would be back. -Did you? 985 00:54:43,813 --> 00:54:45,872 You know what? At first, I didn't want Summer to be my mom. 986 00:54:45,957 --> 00:54:48,517 But now I'm kinda Iiking her. Did you ask her out on a date? 987 00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:49,549 Uh-uh. 988 00:54:49,669 --> 00:54:53,070 I wanted to, but I couldn't 'cause she was writing the article. 989 00:55:14,561 --> 00:55:19,658 -Wow. This is pretty good. -Will, this is really good. 990 00:55:22,093 --> 00:55:23,355 (DIALING) 991 00:55:25,071 --> 00:55:27,039 SUMMER: Are you sure it didn't seem like a puff piece? 992 00:55:27,107 --> 00:55:29,632 No, it's perfect. It's absolutely... 993 00:55:29,709 --> 00:55:33,645 You know, there's one part, though, that kind of bothered me. 994 00:55:34,105 --> 00:55:35,129 "William Hayes, 995 00:55:35,215 --> 00:55:40,312 "Robredo's chief speech writer, is both intense and boyishly handsome." 996 00:55:41,121 --> 00:55:42,748 -Boyishly? I mean... -Yeah. 997 00:55:42,847 --> 00:55:43,905 (GRUNTS) 998 00:55:43,957 --> 00:55:45,891 You know, I originally wrote, 999 00:55:45,959 --> 00:55:49,451 "William Hayes has seductive eyes and the intriguing Iooks of someone 1000 00:55:49,546 --> 00:55:51,844 "whose clothes you wanna rip from his very body," 1001 00:55:51,906 --> 00:55:55,000 but the editor made me change it. 1002 00:55:55,076 --> 00:55:57,738 There's just no room for truth in journalism. 1003 00:55:58,972 --> 00:56:01,031 Did you always want to be a journalist? 1004 00:56:01,107 --> 00:56:06,044 No. Until I was 16, I wanted to be an actress. I wanted to sing on Broadway. 1005 00:56:06,112 --> 00:56:07,636 Wow. Really? 1006 00:56:07,730 --> 00:56:10,528 Yeah, really. Is that hard to believe? 1007 00:56:10,592 --> 00:56:14,995 Well, aren't actresses needy and emotional and, you know, insecure? 1008 00:56:15,071 --> 00:56:16,060 That sort of thing. 1009 00:56:16,122 --> 00:56:19,523 What are you saying? That I don't need? That I don't have emotions? 1010 00:56:19,601 --> 00:56:21,296 -I'm an incredibly needy person. -I'm not saying that. 1011 00:56:21,386 --> 00:56:22,717 -I'm a very needy person. -You know what I'm saying? 1012 00:56:22,762 --> 00:56:25,390 I'm saying I would Iove to hear a song. 1013 00:56:25,915 --> 00:56:27,883 -I'm sorry? -Give us a song. 1014 00:56:28,943 --> 00:56:31,411 -You want me to sing you a song? -Why not? 1015 00:56:33,231 --> 00:56:35,722 -You have a favorite? -Yes. 1016 00:56:35,775 --> 00:56:37,333 -You do? -Yeah. 1017 00:56:40,305 --> 00:56:41,294 Okay. 1018 00:56:41,398 --> 00:56:42,387 (CLEARING THROAT) 1019 00:56:44,009 --> 00:56:48,469 (SINGING) How glad the many millions 1020 00:56:48,571 --> 00:56:52,871 Of Timothys and Williams would be 1021 00:56:52,942 --> 00:56:55,342 -I'm a William. -Don't interrupt. 1022 00:56:55,412 --> 00:56:57,573 To capture me 1023 00:56:58,189 --> 00:57:01,283 But you had such persistence 1024 00:57:01,359 --> 00:57:04,157 You wore down my resistance 1025 00:57:04,254 --> 00:57:06,017 I fell 1026 00:57:07,198 --> 00:57:09,063 And it was swell 1027 00:57:14,539 --> 00:57:15,631 Wow. 1028 00:57:15,707 --> 00:57:18,198 Will you please put it on? 1029 00:57:21,688 --> 00:57:23,883 You know, it really isn't so bad. 1030 00:57:23,973 --> 00:57:26,874 You know what the funny part is? It's $1,000. 1031 00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:35,717 I've got a crush on you, sweetie pie 1032 00:57:35,810 --> 00:57:37,835 Frank Sinatra, Linda Ronstadt. 1033 00:57:37,896 --> 00:57:39,158 -Why? -A whole bunch of these. 1034 00:57:39,230 --> 00:57:44,361 Well, if you Iook on the back, they all have one common song, which is... 1035 00:57:44,461 --> 00:57:47,021 -I've Got A Crush On You. -Every one of them. 1036 00:57:48,239 --> 00:57:51,640 -How's it going? -Still got a Iot to do. 1037 00:57:53,211 --> 00:57:55,202 Yeah, me, too. 1038 00:57:58,858 --> 00:58:00,826 -Yeah, I'm about done. -Yeah, me, too. 1039 00:58:00,885 --> 00:58:06,289 The world will pardon my mush 1040 00:58:06,824 --> 00:58:13,627 'Cause I've got a crush, my baby, on... 1041 00:58:40,525 --> 00:58:42,186 Was I snoring? 1042 00:58:42,802 --> 00:58:43,962 Uh-uh. 1043 00:58:49,275 --> 00:58:51,573 You know what I've never done? 1044 00:58:52,537 --> 00:58:53,731 What? 1045 00:58:55,039 --> 00:58:58,634 I've never spent the whole day in bed with a really great guy. 1046 00:58:58,952 --> 00:59:00,112 Me, neither. 1047 00:59:01,279 --> 00:59:03,474 I'm serious. 1048 00:59:03,565 --> 00:59:06,796 I always think of something more important to do. 1049 00:59:06,885 --> 00:59:08,819 (WHISPERS) I'm a workaholic. 1050 00:59:08,912 --> 00:59:10,140 (WILLIAM EXCLAIMS) 1051 00:59:10,221 --> 00:59:11,882 It's really bad. 1052 00:59:16,127 --> 00:59:18,925 Will you spend the whole day in bed with me? 1053 00:59:20,331 --> 00:59:21,992 We do nothing. 1054 00:59:25,678 --> 00:59:27,236 (PHONE RINGING) 1055 00:59:28,806 --> 00:59:29,830 Oh. 1056 00:59:31,768 --> 00:59:33,759 (PHONE CONTINUES RINGING) 1057 00:59:38,625 --> 00:59:39,922 (ANSWERING MACHINE CLICKS) 1058 00:59:39,984 --> 00:59:43,078 Hi, this is Summer. Please leave a message, and I will call you back. 1059 00:59:43,271 --> 00:59:44,260 (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) 1060 00:59:44,355 --> 00:59:45,686 This is Dr. Levenstein 1061 00:59:45,773 --> 00:59:48,469 from the Columbia Presbyterian emergency room. We have... 1062 00:59:48,526 --> 00:59:50,687 Emergency room? Hello? 1063 00:59:51,012 --> 00:59:54,971 -Mr. Roth has had an aortal rupture. -What does that mean exactly? 1064 00:59:55,074 --> 00:59:57,542 Think of it Iike a tire blowing out on the highway 1065 00:59:57,602 --> 01:00:00,002 after going too fast for way too Iong. 1066 01:00:00,088 --> 01:00:02,022 (HEART MONITOR BEEPING) 1067 01:00:02,649 --> 01:00:05,550 How's that, Mr. Roth? Are you comfortable? 1068 01:00:05,618 --> 01:00:06,949 I make a Iiving. 1069 01:00:07,036 --> 01:00:08,731 (BOTH SNIGGERING) 1070 01:00:09,505 --> 01:00:13,669 Come on, sweetheart, give me a smile. I've waited my whole Iife to do that joke. 1071 01:00:15,511 --> 01:00:17,035 Poor Hampton. 1072 01:00:17,714 --> 01:00:18,738 Ow! 1073 01:00:18,823 --> 01:00:20,814 Summer's come. 1074 01:00:23,945 --> 01:00:26,641 -What's he doing here? -Hello, Hampton. 1075 01:00:26,689 --> 01:00:27,849 Hello. 1076 01:00:27,949 --> 01:00:29,041 (CHATTERING ON PHONE) 1077 01:00:29,117 --> 01:00:30,778 (SUMMER LAUGHING) 1078 01:00:31,202 --> 01:00:33,466 One thing they've Ieft intact. 1079 01:00:33,538 --> 01:00:35,904 No, no, no, no, no, no, don't mention grassroots. 1080 01:00:35,974 --> 01:00:36,963 Don't mention osmosis. 1081 01:00:37,041 --> 01:00:39,339 It's killing me that you're going out with the kid. 1082 01:00:39,402 --> 01:00:43,998 Really? It's not the booze or the cigarettes or the sophomores? 1083 01:00:44,065 --> 01:00:46,932 -That has nothing to do with this. -Nothing to do with it. 1084 01:00:47,018 --> 01:00:51,421 Listen, I want you to know I've donated my organs to medical science 1085 01:00:51,497 --> 01:00:53,829 except for one, which is for you. 1086 01:00:54,701 --> 01:00:59,934 -Sweetie, that's so kind. -No, no, not that. 1087 01:01:00,006 --> 01:01:02,338 My heart, stupid. 1088 01:01:02,400 --> 01:01:03,765 (LAUGHING) 1089 01:01:05,595 --> 01:01:08,792 PIease tell me you're not in Iove with him. 1090 01:01:08,881 --> 01:01:10,610 I can't do that. 1091 01:01:11,008 --> 01:01:12,339 (SIGHS) 1092 01:01:14,429 --> 01:01:17,956 Can I have a cigarette? Just a dying man's Iast request. 1093 01:01:18,057 --> 01:01:21,959 Not happening. God, you're such a drama queen. 1094 01:01:22,028 --> 01:01:23,689 Nobody's dying. 1095 01:01:26,065 --> 01:01:29,000 What do you care if I'm in Iove with him, huh? 1096 01:01:29,068 --> 01:01:31,093 You're the one who set us up, remember? 1097 01:01:31,179 --> 01:01:34,012 Yeah, well, I kind of figured you'd chew him up and spit him out. 1098 01:01:34,073 --> 01:01:37,406 You're such a sweetie. You're a sweet guy, you know that? 1099 01:01:38,461 --> 01:01:41,453 -I read the Robredo piece. -Yeah. 1100 01:01:43,691 --> 01:01:45,818 The guy's been in New York politics for over 20 years 1101 01:01:45,885 --> 01:01:50,481 and all you can dig up is that his daughter had an eating disorder? 1102 01:01:50,965 --> 01:01:52,830 What are you saying, Hampton? 1103 01:01:54,477 --> 01:01:55,944 Do your job. 1104 01:01:57,363 --> 01:01:59,160 (CAR HORNS HONKING) 1105 01:02:04,237 --> 01:02:07,297 WILLIAM: I can't believe we're finally gonna meet the President. 1106 01:02:07,990 --> 01:02:10,458 -Look at that. -Look at it. 1107 01:02:10,551 --> 01:02:13,042 We've come a Iong way from that hotel room on 8th Avenue. 1108 01:02:13,112 --> 01:02:14,545 RUSSELL: Thank you very much. 1109 01:02:14,614 --> 01:02:17,139 GARETH: I don't believe it! I don't believe it! 1110 01:02:17,225 --> 01:02:19,989 Which idiot forgot to check the menus and the programs? 1111 01:02:20,061 --> 01:02:22,325 There's no union seal on the menus or the programs. 1112 01:02:22,396 --> 01:02:23,420 Are you serious? 1113 01:02:23,481 --> 01:02:25,073 The hotel workers won't Iet anybody into the building. 1114 01:02:25,149 --> 01:02:26,514 The Teamsters won't set up the satellite feed! 1115 01:02:26,584 --> 01:02:28,313 Has anyone seen Robert KIein? 1116 01:02:28,394 --> 01:02:29,861 I was with him Iike an hour ago. Now he's gone. 1117 01:02:29,921 --> 01:02:31,411 I think he was completely plastered. 1118 01:02:31,481 --> 01:02:33,039 How are we supposed to know where Robert KIein is? 1119 01:02:33,124 --> 01:02:35,558 You're not gonna believe this, but there's a hailstorm in Chicago. 1120 01:02:35,635 --> 01:02:36,932 Who cares about Chicago? 1121 01:02:36,994 --> 01:02:38,928 We do. The President's coming in from Chicago. 1122 01:02:38,988 --> 01:02:40,580 -Okay, okay. -We can't worry about that right now. 1123 01:02:40,665 --> 01:02:42,633 Let me ask you a question. How could you Iet this happen? 1124 01:02:42,692 --> 01:02:45,126 -What? What are you talking about? -Why are you jumping down her throat? 1125 01:02:45,194 --> 01:02:47,219 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Guys, guys, guys, guys, hey! 1126 01:02:47,313 --> 01:02:51,147 Hey, deep breath, okay? Look, Iet's just ask the hotel, 1127 01:02:51,192 --> 01:02:53,126 see if we can use the Internet connection and find a printer. 1128 01:02:53,202 --> 01:02:54,726 -I'II call KIein's agent. -Great. 1129 01:02:54,821 --> 01:02:56,254 Gareth, have a drink. 1130 01:02:56,322 --> 01:02:58,813 You, I don't know who you are, but your fly's down. 1131 01:02:58,875 --> 01:03:01,503 Be great if you wore underwear. I'm gonna go check the weather in Chicago. 1132 01:03:01,594 --> 01:03:05,621 MAN: Table seven's up. Six pasta. Two fish. Get it out the door, now! 1133 01:03:05,707 --> 01:03:06,696 (COMPUTER BEEPING) 1134 01:03:06,791 --> 01:03:07,815 (SIGHS) 1135 01:03:07,934 --> 01:03:09,128 (STATIC BUZZING) 1136 01:03:09,293 --> 01:03:10,783 He may not be in your union, 1137 01:03:10,853 --> 01:03:13,413 but he still happens to be the President of the United States. 1138 01:03:13,498 --> 01:03:14,897 Remember him? So if I was you, 1139 01:03:14,966 --> 01:03:16,900 -I'd get your men off that truck and in this... -Gareth! 1140 01:03:16,976 --> 01:03:19,536 You can't talk to a Teamster Iike that! Come on. 1141 01:03:19,612 --> 01:03:20,943 -This guy... -Everything's gonna be fine. 1142 01:03:21,005 --> 01:03:22,029 Look, Iook, check it out. 1143 01:03:22,114 --> 01:03:23,513 I downloaded a copy of the union seal. 1144 01:03:23,558 --> 01:03:25,150 If you could just please paste it onto a menu, 1145 01:03:25,226 --> 01:03:28,252 make 500 copies, use a union shop. We're gonna be home free, here. 1146 01:03:28,346 --> 01:03:30,507 Copies? You want me to make copies? 1147 01:03:30,565 --> 01:03:32,226 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 1148 01:03:32,984 --> 01:03:35,646 Well, at some point, we all make copies. Your time is now. 1149 01:03:35,711 --> 01:03:37,736 That's not funny, Hayes. That's very... 1150 01:03:37,822 --> 01:03:40,188 Yeah, that's real mature. Where are you going? 1151 01:03:40,241 --> 01:03:42,471 I'm walking! Back in half an hour. 1152 01:03:42,560 --> 01:03:44,221 What a dick. 1153 01:03:44,312 --> 01:03:46,041 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 1154 01:03:46,873 --> 01:03:48,431 -Yeah. -WOMAN: (WHISPERING) William Hayes? 1155 01:03:48,508 --> 01:03:49,668 Speaking. 1156 01:03:49,734 --> 01:03:52,225 I'm watching you right now. 1157 01:03:52,311 --> 01:03:55,576 And I know all about you and your friend Robredo. 1158 01:03:55,648 --> 01:03:58,981 In fact, I know so much, I could bring you both down. 1159 01:03:59,043 --> 01:04:00,374 Really? 1160 01:04:01,679 --> 01:04:05,274 -Who am I speaking with? -Why don't we meet, and you'll find out? 1161 01:04:06,267 --> 01:04:08,462 -Where are you? -I'm close by. 1162 01:04:09,220 --> 01:04:13,714 I don't have a Iot of experience with whatever this is. 1163 01:04:14,583 --> 01:04:16,073 You're getting warm. 1164 01:04:17,903 --> 01:04:19,234 You're hot. 1165 01:04:20,122 --> 01:04:21,612 You're hot. 1166 01:04:21,699 --> 01:04:24,031 You are so hot! 1167 01:04:24,118 --> 01:04:25,745 (APRIL LAUGHING) 1168 01:04:26,621 --> 01:04:27,713 I got you! 1169 01:04:29,248 --> 01:04:30,806 I thought you were gone through the summer. 1170 01:04:30,883 --> 01:04:34,046 No, I thought so, too, but this crazy thing happened. 1171 01:04:34,112 --> 01:04:37,240 I mean, I was camping on this beautiful beach in Crete 1172 01:04:37,306 --> 01:04:40,867 with all these really cool people, and there was this guy that I Iiked, Paco, 1173 01:04:40,952 --> 01:04:44,319 brooding and sexy, monosyllabic and totally my type. 1174 01:04:44,388 --> 01:04:47,289 APRIL: One night I'm dancing with Paco and he kisses me, 1175 01:04:47,366 --> 01:04:49,960 -an incredible, deep kiss. -WILLIAM: Spare me the details. 1176 01:04:50,036 --> 01:04:52,470 -And what do I do? -I don't know. What'd you do? 1177 01:04:52,538 --> 01:04:53,800 I start crying. 1178 01:04:53,873 --> 01:04:56,307 -I mean, tears are rolling down my cheeks... -Of course you start crying. 1179 01:04:56,375 --> 01:04:59,833 ...which he doesn't notice 'cause, of course, his hands are all over my body, 1180 01:04:59,904 --> 01:05:02,464 which felt nice, which made me feel even more upset, 1181 01:05:02,548 --> 01:05:04,106 'cause in a flash 1182 01:05:04,158 --> 01:05:07,855 I saw our entire relationship, from present to future tense. 1183 01:05:07,945 --> 01:05:12,780 I mean, the incredibly hot start, with Paco basking in my Iove and admiration... 1184 01:05:13,309 --> 01:05:15,368 -What are we doing here? -I just got to pick something up. 1185 01:05:15,453 --> 01:05:16,477 Just take a second. 1186 01:05:16,570 --> 01:05:19,437 And then the inevitable moment, and I don't know why it... 1187 01:05:19,490 --> 01:05:20,787 -Hello. -Hi. 1188 01:05:20,850 --> 01:05:23,410 I don't know why it happens, but it always does, 1189 01:05:23,494 --> 01:05:25,758 when all that Iove and admiration would start to irritate him 1190 01:05:25,830 --> 01:05:27,991 and he'd find some way to hurt me. 1191 01:05:28,582 --> 01:05:30,607 I mean, sure, after, he'd be sorry. 1192 01:05:30,668 --> 01:05:32,329 So... 1193 01:05:32,411 --> 01:05:36,279 I decided to unlock his beautiful Iips from mine, 1194 01:05:36,332 --> 01:05:38,493 remove his hand from my ass, 1195 01:05:39,368 --> 01:05:40,562 (LAUGHS) 1196 01:05:40,653 --> 01:05:44,384 -and I walked away. -Good move. 1197 01:05:44,457 --> 01:05:47,187 -I walked away, Will! From Paco! -Good move. 1198 01:05:47,268 --> 01:05:49,759 -No one walks away from Paco! -I Iike the story. 1199 01:05:49,829 --> 01:05:52,093 And it felt Iife-changing. 1200 01:05:52,156 --> 01:05:54,454 And I realized I had to tell someone. 1201 01:05:54,525 --> 01:05:56,550 When I realized who that person was, 1202 01:05:56,636 --> 01:05:58,627 -it was so unexpected. -MAN: Here we are, sir. 1203 01:05:58,696 --> 01:06:00,527 It's Iike when something is staring you in the face 1204 01:06:00,615 --> 01:06:03,641 and it's Iike you're too blind to see it. 1205 01:06:03,693 --> 01:06:05,024 What's that? 1206 01:06:07,063 --> 01:06:09,293 I have some news for you, too. 1207 01:06:14,403 --> 01:06:16,667 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why are you so upset? 1208 01:06:16,731 --> 01:06:19,757 Don't you think it's a Iittle weird we've been writing each other for however Iong 1209 01:06:19,850 --> 01:06:21,818 and somehow you neglect to tell me that, 1210 01:06:21,877 --> 01:06:26,507 A, you've fallen in Iove, and, B, you've fallen in Iove! 1211 01:06:26,582 --> 01:06:28,174 -I told you I was dating someone. -Dating someone. 1212 01:06:28,250 --> 01:06:30,946 You just bought a diamond engagement ring for someone! 1213 01:06:31,037 --> 01:06:33,130 I'm sorry. I think I was just nervous to tell you. 1214 01:06:33,205 --> 01:06:35,833 Why would you be nervous to tell me? 1215 01:06:37,543 --> 01:06:39,204 I don't know. 1216 01:06:39,737 --> 01:06:41,762 I Iove this girl so much. 1217 01:06:43,232 --> 01:06:45,792 I'd just really Iike you to be happy for me. 1218 01:06:47,069 --> 01:06:50,732 I can be happy for you. Of course I can be happy for you. 1219 01:06:54,435 --> 01:06:55,993 MAYA: Poor April. 1220 01:06:56,112 --> 01:06:59,548 She's like the character in the story who's always been the friend. 1221 01:06:59,615 --> 01:07:02,675 Then she realized she doesn't just want to be the friend. 1222 01:07:02,760 --> 01:07:05,729 She wants to be the girlfriend, except it's too Iate. 1223 01:07:05,788 --> 01:07:07,221 What do you mean? 1224 01:07:07,289 --> 01:07:10,417 Weren't you Iistening? She came home for you. 1225 01:07:16,123 --> 01:07:18,614 GARETH: There's union seals on all the menus, my friend. 1226 01:07:18,709 --> 01:07:22,372 WILLIAM: The weather cleared in Chicago. The President will be here by 8:00. 1227 01:07:22,446 --> 01:07:23,606 Where's Russ? 1228 01:07:23,698 --> 01:07:25,427 Gonna meet you and Arthur in the restaurant. 1229 01:07:25,474 --> 01:07:27,135 ROBERT KLEIN: I'm funnier over here. 1230 01:07:27,918 --> 01:07:29,078 (HARMONICA PLAYING) 1231 01:07:29,136 --> 01:07:31,331 I can't stop my leg 1232 01:07:37,703 --> 01:07:39,034 You're early. 1233 01:07:43,409 --> 01:07:44,740 (MOANING) 1234 01:07:44,802 --> 01:07:46,326 Good to see you. 1235 01:07:46,412 --> 01:07:48,243 -You Iook great. -Thank you. You, too. 1236 01:07:48,305 --> 01:07:51,468 -That's a nice tie. -Well, you'd know. 1237 01:07:52,476 --> 01:07:56,537 So, the magazine asked me to do a follow-up on Robredo. 1238 01:07:56,622 --> 01:07:59,614 -Great. -Yeah, it is great. It's also... 1239 01:08:00,559 --> 01:08:02,254 (SIGHING) It's... 1240 01:08:03,754 --> 01:08:05,915 You just read it. 1241 01:08:05,981 --> 01:08:07,812 -You already wrote it. -Yeah. 1242 01:08:16,992 --> 01:08:19,222 -He did this? -Yes. 1243 01:08:19,328 --> 01:08:23,731 They actually got a friend an early parole. 1244 01:08:23,816 --> 01:08:28,515 You know what? I think it happened such a Iong time ago, 1245 01:08:28,587 --> 01:08:30,521 and you're way ahead in all the polls. 1246 01:08:30,589 --> 01:08:35,253 Yeah, see, I don't think that's gonna matter, because he's the tough-on-crime Democrat. 1247 01:08:35,328 --> 01:08:36,795 That's... 1248 01:08:37,329 --> 01:08:39,422 When people read this... 1249 01:08:41,767 --> 01:08:44,065 Summer, Iisten to me. 1250 01:08:44,128 --> 01:08:47,188 If you hand this in, we won't survive it. 1251 01:08:47,281 --> 01:08:49,943 I think it'II be a big deal for about a week, and then the storm will pass... 1252 01:08:50,009 --> 01:08:52,239 I'm talking about you and me. 1253 01:08:53,721 --> 01:08:57,282 "Candidate Brought Down by Speechwriter's Girlfriend." 1254 01:08:57,374 --> 01:08:59,934 -Come on. -I'm just doing my job. 1255 01:09:01,037 --> 01:09:03,562 I didn't do it the first time around. 1256 01:09:03,648 --> 01:09:07,106 And if I didn't write this, somebody else would. 1257 01:09:08,152 --> 01:09:09,312 Let them. 1258 01:09:09,820 --> 01:09:12,220 Hey, don't hand this in, okay? 1259 01:09:17,970 --> 01:09:19,835 You already did. 1260 01:09:35,913 --> 01:09:37,210 Mr. Arthur... 1261 01:09:37,264 --> 01:09:38,458 (CHATTERING) 1262 01:09:38,549 --> 01:09:40,016 ARTHUR: Yeah, sure. 1263 01:09:40,776 --> 01:09:42,266 MAYA: I really Iiked Summer. 1264 01:09:42,353 --> 01:09:44,218 I can't believe she turned out to be such a... 1265 01:09:44,271 --> 01:09:45,465 -Heartbreaker? -No. 1266 01:09:45,564 --> 01:09:47,862 -Opportunist? Double-crossing... -Uh-uh. 1267 01:09:47,925 --> 01:09:49,825 -Bitch. -Maya. 1268 01:09:49,902 --> 01:09:51,767 How could she do that to you? 1269 01:09:51,846 --> 01:09:55,441 It's Iike she said. If she didn't write it, someone else would have. 1270 01:09:55,516 --> 01:09:57,040 And it was the truth. 1271 01:09:57,101 --> 01:09:59,433 So did she? Did she break it? 1272 01:09:59,520 --> 01:10:00,885 What? 1273 01:10:06,919 --> 01:10:08,750 What happened when the article came out? 1274 01:10:24,929 --> 01:10:28,592 You screwed up, man. You really screwed up. 1275 01:10:28,657 --> 01:10:30,352 PIease save it. I don't need to hear this right now. 1276 01:10:30,443 --> 01:10:32,707 Whenever I figure out whatever I'm supposed to Iearn from all this, 1277 01:10:32,778 --> 01:10:35,110 -I'II write you a Ietter! -Yeah, can't wait. 1278 01:10:35,164 --> 01:10:40,295 WILLIAM: So I lost my girl, I lost my job, and I lost my friend. 1279 01:10:41,253 --> 01:10:44,984 And for a long time, nothing seemed to matter. 1280 01:10:45,724 --> 01:10:48,022 But I wasn't the only one with problems. 1281 01:10:48,085 --> 01:10:52,920 I did not have sexual relations with that woman, 1282 01:10:52,982 --> 01:10:54,040 Miss Lewinsky. 1283 01:10:54,125 --> 01:10:55,183 (PHONE RINGING) 1284 01:10:55,259 --> 01:10:56,590 I never told anybody to lie. 1285 01:10:56,735 --> 01:10:58,430 -Hello? -Are you watching? 1286 01:10:58,496 --> 01:11:00,623 These allegations are false. 1287 01:11:00,681 --> 01:11:01,739 April? 1288 01:11:01,832 --> 01:11:05,791 Yeah, April. Who'd you think it was? Are you watching or not? 1289 01:11:05,853 --> 01:11:07,684 Of course I'm watching. 1290 01:11:08,831 --> 01:11:10,298 You think he did it, don't you? 1291 01:11:10,366 --> 01:11:14,996 I don't think, I know. Look at the picture of her. I Iove her. 1292 01:11:15,095 --> 01:11:16,926 She's so his type. 1293 01:11:19,041 --> 01:11:22,067 So, what took you so Iong to finally call me back there, red? 1294 01:11:22,161 --> 01:11:23,856 I thought I Iost you. 1295 01:11:23,929 --> 01:11:27,922 -Feels like years. -I'm calling you now, aren't I? 1296 01:11:29,051 --> 01:11:30,040 Yeah. 1297 01:11:30,777 --> 01:11:33,007 How are you? What's doing? 1298 01:11:33,055 --> 01:11:35,114 I got a new roommate, OIivia. 1299 01:11:36,358 --> 01:11:38,349 And I'm working at a bookstore. 1300 01:11:38,969 --> 01:11:41,267 But I've been thinking about going back to school. 1301 01:11:41,347 --> 01:11:42,575 Cool. 1302 01:11:42,639 --> 01:11:44,368 Hey, did I tell you that I hate my job? 1303 01:11:44,450 --> 01:11:47,112 I used to love what I do, and now I feel like a complete hack. 1304 01:11:47,853 --> 01:11:52,916 -Are you seeing anyone? -Me? Am I... No, no. Absolutely not. 1305 01:11:52,992 --> 01:11:55,893 In fact, I haven't had sex since Clinton was re-elected. 1306 01:11:55,970 --> 01:11:59,030 APRIL: Why bother? He's having enough sex for the entire country. 1307 01:11:59,081 --> 01:12:01,072 WILLIAM: Easy. Easy now. 1308 01:12:01,166 --> 01:12:04,465 APRIL: Hey, maybe you should follow his lead and seduce an intern. 1309 01:12:04,536 --> 01:12:06,834 WILLIAM: You know, it's funny that you should mention that. 1310 01:12:06,897 --> 01:12:10,799 There's a fetching young intern who just started a week ago. 1311 01:12:10,868 --> 01:12:12,631 APRIL: Great. Ask her out. 1312 01:12:13,395 --> 01:12:15,226 WILLIAM: I should, shouldn't I? 1313 01:12:16,206 --> 01:12:20,074 But I don't think I will. You see, I don't want a fling. 1314 01:12:20,152 --> 01:12:22,211 I want the real deal. 1315 01:12:22,262 --> 01:12:25,527 APRIL: Forget about the real deal. You don't find it, it finds you. 1316 01:12:25,608 --> 01:12:28,736 What does that mean? I don't know what that means. 1317 01:12:28,836 --> 01:12:32,067 It means that you get to a certain age and then you're ready. 1318 01:12:32,114 --> 01:12:35,379 You know, you're ready for kids or a commitment or, you know... 1319 01:12:35,451 --> 01:12:36,850 -Sir. -...a mortgage. 1320 01:12:36,927 --> 01:12:38,952 -Table's ready. Okay. -Thanks. 1321 01:12:39,037 --> 01:12:40,095 You know what I mean? 1322 01:12:40,180 --> 01:12:43,308 And the person that you're with then, they become the one. 1323 01:12:43,375 --> 01:12:46,139 So you're saying it's not who, but it's when. 1324 01:12:46,211 --> 01:12:47,940 -Exactly. -Okay. AII right. 1325 01:12:48,022 --> 01:12:52,083 So there's never been a guy, ever, that made you think, "This is it. 1326 01:12:52,134 --> 01:12:54,034 "This is him. This is the one." 1327 01:12:54,603 --> 01:12:55,763 No. 1328 01:12:56,530 --> 01:12:59,522 Okay, then why aren't you out there, you know, enjoying yourself? 1329 01:12:59,583 --> 01:13:00,845 I am. 1330 01:13:00,926 --> 01:13:02,791 -You are? -Yes. 1331 01:13:03,562 --> 01:13:05,792 Right now I'm seeing this guy, Kevin. 1332 01:13:06,448 --> 01:13:08,075 -Kevin. -Kevin. 1333 01:13:08,142 --> 01:13:09,439 Who the hell's Kevin? 1334 01:13:09,535 --> 01:13:12,868 Where did... How come you never, you know, mentioned anything about him? 1335 01:13:12,930 --> 01:13:14,659 I'm mentioning him now. 1336 01:13:15,741 --> 01:13:18,801 Oh, God! They have fresh mint tea. I Iove fresh mint tea. 1337 01:13:18,877 --> 01:13:20,242 I Iove beer. 1338 01:13:20,796 --> 01:13:24,960 It depends upon what the meaning of the word "is" is. 1339 01:13:25,050 --> 01:13:30,181 If it means "there is none" that is a completely true statement. 1340 01:13:36,128 --> 01:13:37,152 (BEEPS) 1341 01:13:37,229 --> 01:13:38,662 (ON ANSWERING MACHINE) Hey, this is April. 1342 01:13:38,739 --> 01:13:41,606 I want to talk to you about your birthday. Call me. 1343 01:13:41,959 --> 01:13:42,948 (BEEPS) 1344 01:13:43,268 --> 01:13:47,068 EMILY: Hello. I hope this is the right number. It sounds like you. 1345 01:13:47,139 --> 01:13:48,800 It's Emily! 1346 01:13:48,857 --> 01:13:49,846 (LAUGHS) 1347 01:13:50,192 --> 01:13:52,888 I'm in New York, and I was thinking 1348 01:13:52,978 --> 01:13:56,277 maybe we could get a cup of coffee and catch up. 1349 01:13:56,815 --> 01:13:58,009 My number... 1350 01:13:58,091 --> 01:13:59,080 (BEEPS) 1351 01:14:00,002 --> 01:14:03,938 Hey, it's April. I still need to talk to you. Please call me back. 1352 01:14:04,006 --> 01:14:05,803 I mean, don't make me come over there and hurt you. 1353 01:14:06,091 --> 01:14:07,752 (DOORBELL BUZZING) 1354 01:14:08,702 --> 01:14:11,193 Okay, I'm coming! 1355 01:14:12,206 --> 01:14:14,037 God, I'm coming. 1356 01:14:15,125 --> 01:14:16,752 Yeah, I get it. 1357 01:14:20,297 --> 01:14:22,265 What are you doing in there? 1358 01:14:23,025 --> 01:14:25,186 -Is this what you're wearing? -What? 1359 01:14:25,285 --> 01:14:28,652 It's your birthday party. Everybody is waiting for you. 1360 01:14:28,705 --> 01:14:30,195 Oh, Christ. 1361 01:14:30,290 --> 01:14:32,451 Five minutes, okay? Five... 1362 01:14:32,518 --> 01:14:33,780 (CRASHING) 1363 01:14:34,962 --> 01:14:36,896 -WILLIAM: I'm down. -Are you okay? 1364 01:14:36,964 --> 01:14:39,626 Yeah. I just need to Iie here for a sec. 1365 01:14:39,983 --> 01:14:41,075 (GROANS) 1366 01:14:41,151 --> 01:14:43,483 I see you've been eating noodles. 1367 01:14:47,024 --> 01:14:49,049 MAN: Hey, everybody, he's here! 1368 01:14:49,159 --> 01:14:50,751 (ALL CHEERING) 1369 01:14:54,665 --> 01:14:55,654 Thanks. 1370 01:14:57,034 --> 01:14:58,023 Hi. 1371 01:15:01,063 --> 01:15:04,032 Oh, my God! I didn't think you'd be here! 1372 01:15:04,091 --> 01:15:06,389 I couldn't miss your birthday. We came all the way up from Washington. 1373 01:15:06,485 --> 01:15:08,214 Happy birthday, gorgeous. 1374 01:15:08,820 --> 01:15:11,050 That is a beautiful woman right there. 1375 01:15:11,098 --> 01:15:12,725 You had your chance, pal. 1376 01:15:12,824 --> 01:15:14,155 RUSSELL: Hayes. 1377 01:15:19,556 --> 01:15:20,887 Come on. 1378 01:15:20,941 --> 01:15:22,067 (RUSSELL LAUGHING) 1379 01:15:23,752 --> 01:15:27,188 -It's great to see you. -Yeah. You Iook... 1380 01:15:27,264 --> 01:15:28,754 Homeless, I know. 1381 01:15:29,933 --> 01:15:32,265 -Where's Kelly? -She's right over there. 1382 01:15:32,344 --> 01:15:35,142 It's her first night out since the baby was born. 1383 01:15:36,381 --> 01:15:37,712 Congratulations. 1384 01:15:39,218 --> 01:15:42,984 Iran-Contra. Arms for oil, no problem. 1385 01:15:43,055 --> 01:15:46,684 But a Iittle "oralness" and you're headed for impeachment. 1386 01:15:47,634 --> 01:15:50,330 -No politics! -Maybe he should be impeached. 1387 01:15:50,420 --> 01:15:53,014 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait! Did he say that? 1388 01:15:53,098 --> 01:15:56,090 -Why not? I put my faith in him. We all did. -You Iove him. 1389 01:15:56,143 --> 01:15:57,770 I thought he was gonna be different than the other jokers, 1390 01:15:57,870 --> 01:16:00,634 but this guy, he can't even define the word "is." 1391 01:16:01,598 --> 01:16:05,261 What happens if they give him one of the hard words, Iike "truth"? 1392 01:16:05,986 --> 01:16:08,386 -I'd vote for him again. -In a heartbeat. 1393 01:16:12,451 --> 01:16:13,611 Will's a Iot of fun. 1394 01:16:13,669 --> 01:16:15,603 Yeah, Iet's fill up the tub and drop in a toaster. 1395 01:16:15,662 --> 01:16:17,459 That should be a good time. 1396 01:16:19,950 --> 01:16:20,939 (ALL SINGING) 1397 01:16:21,001 --> 01:16:25,597 Happy birthday to you 1398 01:16:25,672 --> 01:16:30,700 Happy birthday to you 1399 01:16:30,802 --> 01:16:34,568 Happy birthday, dear Will 1400 01:16:34,640 --> 01:16:38,906 -Where is he? Where's Will? -I don't know. I was just talking to him. 1401 01:16:56,603 --> 01:16:58,070 You missed your birthday cake. 1402 01:16:58,163 --> 01:16:59,152 Uh-oh. 1403 01:16:59,548 --> 01:17:02,039 -And I baked it. -You baked it. 1404 01:17:04,795 --> 01:17:06,626 Do you remember that song? 1405 01:17:06,688 --> 01:17:08,383 In your apartment? 1406 01:17:08,941 --> 01:17:12,604 Come as you are, as a friend 1407 01:17:12,677 --> 01:17:15,009 As a known enemy 1408 01:17:15,055 --> 01:17:18,957 -"Memory," not "enemy." -I know, I know, I know. 1409 01:17:19,701 --> 01:17:23,296 -Somebody had too much to drink. -No, I didn't. 1410 01:17:23,371 --> 01:17:25,100 I didn't, I didn't. I didn't. 1411 01:17:25,182 --> 01:17:26,706 -Yes, you did. -I did. 1412 01:17:33,407 --> 01:17:36,274 -God, you're beautiful. -Thank you. 1413 01:17:40,222 --> 01:17:41,553 What? 1414 01:17:43,416 --> 01:17:44,508 The thing is... 1415 01:17:44,584 --> 01:17:45,573 (CLEARS THROAT) 1416 01:17:45,894 --> 01:17:47,725 The thing is... 1417 01:17:49,006 --> 01:17:50,974 Is that I Iike you. 1418 01:17:53,902 --> 01:17:55,733 I've always Iiked you. 1419 01:17:58,740 --> 01:18:00,071 "Like." 1420 01:18:00,992 --> 01:18:03,483 That's pathetic. It's so puny. 1421 01:18:05,939 --> 01:18:07,566 "Love" on the other hand... 1422 01:18:07,666 --> 01:18:10,328 You'd run away from a word Iike that. 1423 01:18:13,197 --> 01:18:14,528 I Iove you. 1424 01:18:18,235 --> 01:18:20,362 I'm in Iove with you, April. 1425 01:18:28,270 --> 01:18:31,831 -Why didn't you ever tell me? -Come on. 1426 01:18:31,923 --> 01:18:36,257 You know exactly why I never told you. You'd never be interested in me. 1427 01:18:36,803 --> 01:18:38,395 You're an idiot. 1428 01:18:47,906 --> 01:18:49,339 -Stop. -What? 1429 01:18:49,399 --> 01:18:52,197 -Not Iike this. -Like what? 1430 01:18:52,277 --> 01:18:54,643 Look at you, Will, you're a mess. 1431 01:18:54,721 --> 01:18:57,781 Why couldn't you have told me when you had your shit together? 1432 01:18:57,833 --> 01:19:00,734 -My shit is together. -Your shit is a mess. 1433 01:19:02,078 --> 01:19:03,636 You're a mess. 1434 01:19:06,425 --> 01:19:08,256 My shit is a mess? 1435 01:19:09,428 --> 01:19:12,192 That's interesting, coming from you, April. 1436 01:19:14,291 --> 01:19:19,388 You could do anything on earth, and you work in a bookstore. 1437 01:19:19,471 --> 01:19:21,462 What's that all about? 1438 01:19:22,499 --> 01:19:25,229 At Ieast I tried. I went out there and I tried. 1439 01:19:26,645 --> 01:19:30,706 Look, I'm just saying this as a friend, and I swear, it's just as a friend, 1440 01:19:31,249 --> 01:19:34,685 but maybe you should go out there and, you know, get some help. 1441 01:19:34,753 --> 01:19:36,846 Go to rehab or Iife rehab or something Iike that. 1442 01:19:36,922 --> 01:19:39,584 I don't even know if they have that sort of thing, but if they did... 1443 01:19:39,649 --> 01:19:40,673 Okay. 1444 01:19:40,759 --> 01:19:42,317 ...you know, you could be a prime candidate for that. 1445 01:19:42,369 --> 01:19:44,701 -I should go to "Iife rehab"? -Yeah. 1446 01:19:48,625 --> 01:19:50,490 Get off my front porch! 1447 01:19:52,045 --> 01:19:53,205 April? 1448 01:20:05,701 --> 01:20:06,895 (BOTTLE SHATTERS) 1449 01:20:17,329 --> 01:20:18,660 You're right. 1450 01:20:21,299 --> 01:20:24,063 It is complicated, isn't it? 1451 01:20:24,135 --> 01:20:28,629 I mean, you're in Iove with April, who used to be in Iove with Lucas, 1452 01:20:28,698 --> 01:20:31,258 and then she fell in Iove with you, but you were in Iove with Summer, 1453 01:20:31,334 --> 01:20:34,030 who was always really in Iove with Hampton. 1454 01:20:34,095 --> 01:20:37,724 And now that you're in Iove with April, she's in Iove with Kevin. 1455 01:20:38,650 --> 01:20:40,811 And no one's in Iove with you. 1456 01:20:41,845 --> 01:20:43,710 That's complicated. 1457 01:20:45,073 --> 01:20:46,233 Yep. 1458 01:20:47,267 --> 01:20:49,030 Then what happened? 1459 01:20:49,586 --> 01:20:51,247 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 1460 01:21:08,938 --> 01:21:11,964 MAN: Jane Eyre, Random House, 1943. 1461 01:21:12,050 --> 01:21:16,248 It's a beautiful edition, known for the cover illustration. 1462 01:21:16,304 --> 01:21:20,468 But there's a really nice dedication inside, with a quote from the book. 1463 01:21:20,558 --> 01:21:24,551 "To my darling daughter, April. 'The human heart has hidden treasures 1464 01:21:24,613 --> 01:21:27,241 -"'In secret kept, in silence sealed..."' -WILLIAM: "'In silence sealed 1465 01:21:27,307 --> 01:21:29,741 "'The thoughts, the hopes the dreams, the pleasures 1466 01:21:29,818 --> 01:21:32,548 "'Whose charms were broken if revealed' 1467 01:21:33,296 --> 01:21:35,287 "From your Ioving father." 1468 01:21:45,642 --> 01:21:47,633 -Hi, OIivia. -Hi, Will. 1469 01:21:48,411 --> 01:21:49,673 -How you been? -Good. 1470 01:21:49,746 --> 01:21:52,237 I haven't heard any of your Iong sorry messages in a while. 1471 01:21:52,315 --> 01:21:55,216 Those were delightful, weren't they? Sorry about that. 1472 01:21:55,285 --> 01:21:57,185 -April here? -No, she's at school. 1473 01:21:57,254 --> 01:21:59,222 -School? -Yeah. 1474 01:21:59,289 --> 01:22:03,282 -She started grad school at NYU. -Great. Wow. 1475 01:22:03,351 --> 01:22:06,445 -If you want to wait, she'II be home soon. -I'd Iove to. 1476 01:22:06,521 --> 01:22:10,355 Make yourself comfortable. I have to finish this application I'm writing. 1477 01:22:10,442 --> 01:22:12,239 -Good Iuck. -Thanks. 1478 01:22:16,481 --> 01:22:17,675 (SIGHS) 1479 01:22:36,209 --> 01:22:37,267 Hey. 1480 01:22:37,886 --> 01:22:39,217 How you doing? 1481 01:22:40,939 --> 01:22:42,099 Kevin. 1482 01:22:44,142 --> 01:22:45,473 Will Hayes. 1483 01:22:46,536 --> 01:22:49,300 I'm just waiting for April. 1484 01:22:51,307 --> 01:22:53,798 Are you the same Kevin that she mentioned a while back? 1485 01:22:53,877 --> 01:22:54,866 (PHONE RINGING) 1486 01:22:54,986 --> 01:22:57,784 I hope so. Unless she's collecting Kevins. 1487 01:22:57,856 --> 01:22:59,983 OLIVIA: Kevin, phone! 1488 01:23:00,050 --> 01:23:04,043 Anyway, I'm pretty sure I am the only Kevin who's actually Iiving with her. 1489 01:23:43,234 --> 01:23:45,225 Do you know what you want yet? 1490 01:23:46,070 --> 01:23:47,935 -No. -WAITRESS: No? 1491 01:23:53,620 --> 01:23:55,247 Will? 1492 01:23:55,738 --> 01:23:57,501 William Hayes? 1493 01:23:57,582 --> 01:23:59,482 God. 1494 01:23:59,551 --> 01:24:01,348 -It is! -Summer. 1495 01:24:02,112 --> 01:24:03,875 You Iook beautiful. 1496 01:24:04,697 --> 01:24:07,894 Believe it or not, I've been meaning to call you. 1497 01:24:09,477 --> 01:24:12,071 -I'm pregnant. -You're what? 1498 01:24:12,138 --> 01:24:13,696 -Really? -Can you believe it? 1499 01:24:13,790 --> 01:24:16,156 -PIease, sit. Congratulations. -Thanks. Thanks. 1500 01:24:16,234 --> 01:24:17,394 Who's the Iucky guy? 1501 01:24:17,460 --> 01:24:19,189 -Sam Knowles. -Okay. 1502 01:24:19,270 --> 01:24:21,329 But he's basically out of the picture. 1503 01:24:21,406 --> 01:24:23,431 -He didn't make the cut, huh? -Yeah. 1504 01:24:23,491 --> 01:24:28,724 Well, I don't need a guy. I never really did. 1505 01:24:28,805 --> 01:24:31,103 You were about the closest I ever got. 1506 01:24:31,157 --> 01:24:35,253 No, really, when I was with you, I thought, "This is it." 1507 01:24:35,336 --> 01:24:36,633 But I screwed it up. 1508 01:24:36,729 --> 01:24:39,562 -No, you didn't. -I did. I so did. 1509 01:24:40,150 --> 01:24:41,640 Listen, 1510 01:24:41,734 --> 01:24:45,670 I'm having a Iittle party Sunday. 1511 01:24:46,456 --> 01:24:48,583 -I want you to come. -Oh, boy. 1512 01:24:49,234 --> 01:24:50,963 4:00. No excuses. 1513 01:24:51,010 --> 01:24:51,999 (SIGHING) 1514 01:24:53,013 --> 01:24:55,880 Will you come? PIease? 1515 01:24:55,974 --> 01:24:57,965 You know, I'II see if I can make it. 1516 01:24:58,026 --> 01:25:00,756 -I really want you to. -I'II make it. 1517 01:25:00,829 --> 01:25:03,263 I want to make amends with anyone I ever hurt. 1518 01:25:03,340 --> 01:25:06,832 And I figure it'II take about nine months, 1519 01:25:06,926 --> 01:25:08,757 which is perfect timing. 1520 01:25:10,447 --> 01:25:12,438 -And she's off. Bye. -Bye-bye. 1521 01:25:14,868 --> 01:25:16,165 William Hayes. 1522 01:25:16,261 --> 01:25:19,321 -Dad, maybe this wasn't such a good idea. -WILLIAM: What? 1523 01:25:19,372 --> 01:25:23,138 Telling me this story, this mystery Iove story. 1524 01:25:24,435 --> 01:25:27,836 -What if I don't Iike who my mom is? -Of course you'II Iike who your mom is. 1525 01:25:27,889 --> 01:25:30,517 And you don't have to wait Iong to find out, because that very night... 1526 01:25:30,608 --> 01:25:33,509 It's Summer, isn't it? And you're not my father. 1527 01:25:33,553 --> 01:25:35,316 No wonder you didn't want to be with her. 1528 01:25:35,388 --> 01:25:38,721 Take it easy, Maya. It's just a story. 1529 01:25:40,185 --> 01:25:42,915 And this one has a happy ending. 1530 01:25:42,979 --> 01:25:45,345 How does it have a happy ending? 1531 01:25:45,398 --> 01:25:49,801 You and my mom, whoever she is, you're getting divorced. 1532 01:25:50,795 --> 01:25:53,127 What's the happy in that? 1533 01:25:57,552 --> 01:25:59,520 Okay, you know what? I think we should stop now. 1534 01:25:59,579 --> 01:26:00,910 No! 1535 01:26:03,833 --> 01:26:05,926 Then how about a nice cup of tea? 1536 01:26:06,503 --> 01:26:09,836 If you want, I'II still continue with the story. Does that sound good? 1537 01:26:09,898 --> 01:26:11,866 -Maya? -Okay. 1538 01:26:18,264 --> 01:26:19,754 Dad? 1539 01:26:21,576 --> 01:26:26,707 I can't believe you smoked and drank and were such a slut. 1540 01:26:29,734 --> 01:26:31,565 But I still Iove you. 1541 01:26:36,758 --> 01:26:37,952 (SIGHS) 1542 01:26:38,952 --> 01:26:40,613 (KETTLE WHISTLING) 1543 01:27:34,799 --> 01:27:36,130 Thanks. 1544 01:27:36,175 --> 01:27:38,405 AII right. AII right. 1545 01:27:38,486 --> 01:27:41,546 No, no. Don't eat it yet! Not till we get to our bench. 1546 01:27:42,432 --> 01:27:43,922 You're in a good mood. 1547 01:27:43,992 --> 01:27:47,985 Well, I think I discovered who my mom is in the story. 1548 01:27:48,079 --> 01:27:50,104 -Really? -Really. 1549 01:27:51,024 --> 01:27:53,288 -Well, who is it? -Not telling. 1550 01:27:55,086 --> 01:27:57,384 So the Iast time we saw William Hayes, 1551 01:27:57,447 --> 01:28:01,008 he had just discovered that the woman he truly Ioved, April Hoffman, 1552 01:28:01,117 --> 01:28:02,209 was in Iove with another man. 1553 01:28:02,285 --> 01:28:03,343 (WILLIAM GASPS) 1554 01:28:03,428 --> 01:28:05,521 I know. Shocking. 1555 01:28:06,489 --> 01:28:08,514 Meanwhile, he accepted an invitation 1556 01:28:08,600 --> 01:28:11,592 to the home of his ex-girlfriend, Summer Hartley, 1557 01:28:11,661 --> 01:28:15,620 who, if she does turn out to be my mother, I'm running away to Canada. 1558 01:28:15,690 --> 01:28:17,351 I'm not kidding. 1559 01:28:25,058 --> 01:28:27,492 -He died Iast year. -Yeah. 1560 01:28:27,560 --> 01:28:30,188 -You heard? -I read about it in The Times. 1561 01:28:30,288 --> 01:28:31,812 -Yeah. -Yeah. 1562 01:28:32,040 --> 01:28:34,474 -God. Died in his office. Heart attack? -Yeah. 1563 01:28:34,542 --> 01:28:38,603 I always imagined that he'd make a more theatrical exit. 1564 01:28:38,696 --> 01:28:42,188 What they didn't say was he was on the couch with the dean's daughter. 1565 01:28:42,241 --> 01:28:44,072 -Jesus. -I'm kidding. 1566 01:28:45,028 --> 01:28:50,466 Actually, he was completely alone and it was hours before the janitor found him. 1567 01:28:51,417 --> 01:28:54,011 -You want a drink? -I'm sorry. 1568 01:28:54,087 --> 01:28:56,817 -You must miss him. -I do, yeah. 1569 01:28:57,740 --> 01:28:58,866 These are for you. 1570 01:28:58,933 --> 01:29:01,367 -Oh, Will. -Yeah. 1571 01:29:03,513 --> 01:29:05,344 They're beautiful. 1572 01:29:07,433 --> 01:29:08,832 So are you. 1573 01:29:11,062 --> 01:29:13,030 -Summer. -Will. 1574 01:29:13,089 --> 01:29:14,852 Don't mess with me. 1575 01:29:14,916 --> 01:29:16,247 I can see where you're going with this. 1576 01:29:16,342 --> 01:29:19,334 In a second, you're gonna say something impossibly charming. 1577 01:29:19,404 --> 01:29:21,338 -Really? -Yeah. It's gonna be great. 1578 01:29:21,406 --> 01:29:24,569 And then you're gonna sweep me off my feet and we all know where that's going. 1579 01:29:24,617 --> 01:29:26,881 -Can't a girl miss a guy? -And you know that's gonna end badly. 1580 01:29:26,953 --> 01:29:28,215 Yeah, she can, 1581 01:29:28,938 --> 01:29:31,532 but I just don't really have time for the pain. 1582 01:29:31,607 --> 01:29:35,566 -So Iet's just skip all that, why don't we? -Okay. 1583 01:29:36,471 --> 01:29:37,802 Fair enough. 1584 01:29:38,690 --> 01:29:40,055 Can we be friends? 1585 01:29:40,108 --> 01:29:42,099 -Yeah! Yeah. -Yeah. 1586 01:29:42,201 --> 01:29:44,829 -Shake on it? Okay. -Let's do that. AII right. 1587 01:29:47,790 --> 01:29:49,519 You know what? 1588 01:29:51,819 --> 01:29:54,219 There's someone here I want you to meet. 1589 01:29:55,323 --> 01:29:57,814 Yeah. Come with me. 1590 01:29:57,909 --> 01:29:59,206 They're an old flame of mine, 1591 01:29:59,277 --> 01:30:03,509 and I think you guys are really gonna, you know, hit it off. 1592 01:30:07,335 --> 01:30:08,495 Emily. 1593 01:30:11,163 --> 01:30:13,290 I'm gonna put these in some water. 1594 01:30:16,644 --> 01:30:17,975 -You Iook... -You Iook... 1595 01:30:18,796 --> 01:30:19,785 (EMILY CHUCKLING) 1596 01:30:19,981 --> 01:30:21,278 You Iook great. 1597 01:30:22,658 --> 01:30:25,821 -Why are you in New York? -I Iive here. 1598 01:30:25,903 --> 01:30:29,361 I took a job with the city education department. 1599 01:30:29,440 --> 01:30:31,908 -I called you. -I know. 1600 01:30:31,976 --> 01:30:34,501 -I've been meaning to call you back. -Liar. 1601 01:30:35,329 --> 01:30:36,990 -I had Iost your number. -Of course. 1602 01:30:37,089 --> 01:30:39,523 -No, it's true. You know what? -Will... 1603 01:30:39,584 --> 01:30:41,449 Okay, give me your number, right now. 1604 01:30:41,502 --> 01:30:45,461 I'm gonna put it in my cell phone, and that way I'm never gonna Iose it, okay? 1605 01:30:47,041 --> 01:30:52,343 My number is 212-664-7665. 1606 01:30:52,438 --> 01:30:55,464 Six, six, five. See? Now I got it. And I'm never gonna Iose it again. 1607 01:30:55,550 --> 01:30:57,347 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 1608 01:30:58,469 --> 01:31:00,630 -Oh, no, go ahead, go ahead. -Sorry. 1609 01:31:00,696 --> 01:31:02,357 -Hello. -Hey, it's Will. 1610 01:31:03,499 --> 01:31:06,263 I'm really sorry I Iost your number. 1611 01:31:07,503 --> 01:31:11,200 WILLIAM: I just had the weirdest flash of a whole Iife, 1612 01:31:11,282 --> 01:31:13,614 one that never, ever happened. 1613 01:31:16,562 --> 01:31:18,587 What did happen to us? 1614 01:31:18,681 --> 01:31:20,672 -You slept with my roommate. -Oh! 1615 01:31:21,876 --> 01:31:23,207 I'm sorry. 1616 01:31:23,294 --> 01:31:26,058 If I remember correctly, I believe it was my "plan," wasn't it? 1617 01:31:26,130 --> 01:31:27,893 -The plan. Remember that? -Yes, the plan. 1618 01:31:27,965 --> 01:31:29,057 Who talks Iike that? 1619 01:31:29,133 --> 01:31:34,435 No, it wasn't the plan. I was scared of you and your dreams, 1620 01:31:35,915 --> 01:31:38,907 and then after we broke up, I just felt Iost. 1621 01:31:40,086 --> 01:31:44,989 I still feel pretty Iost, especially when it comes to relationships. 1622 01:31:46,175 --> 01:31:47,335 Yeah. 1623 01:31:48,344 --> 01:31:50,835 Yeah, I've been... Me, too. 1624 01:31:57,244 --> 01:31:59,974 Did you ever think 1625 01:32:00,615 --> 01:32:04,051 that maybe we just needed a different plan? 1626 01:32:05,027 --> 01:32:07,962 MAYA: Wait! Stop! Stop right there. Now, go back. 1627 01:32:08,030 --> 01:32:09,088 (REWINDING) 1628 01:32:09,182 --> 01:32:11,912 Okay, stop. Now go forward, slowly. 1629 01:32:12,735 --> 01:32:14,259 Now here it comes. 1630 01:32:14,345 --> 01:32:15,972 There! Right there! 1631 01:32:16,464 --> 01:32:18,694 That's it! That's how I figured it out! 1632 01:32:18,766 --> 01:32:20,529 That's what Mom does when I'm upset. 1633 01:32:20,610 --> 01:32:23,204 She fluffs up my hair and tells me to be brilliant 1634 01:32:23,271 --> 01:32:26,206 or shine Iike the sun, and it always makes me feel better. 1635 01:32:26,273 --> 01:32:28,537 -Sounds Iike a great mom. -She is a great mom. 1636 01:32:28,617 --> 01:32:35,113 So you're absolutely positive, 100%, that Emily is the very same woman 1637 01:32:35,474 --> 01:32:37,669 walking toward us right now? 1638 01:32:39,103 --> 01:32:40,536 Absolutely. 1639 01:32:40,938 --> 01:32:42,166 Is it? 1640 01:32:44,208 --> 01:32:46,472 -Mom! Mom! -Hey! 1641 01:32:50,139 --> 01:32:51,629 MAYA: I'm so glad it's you. 1642 01:32:51,724 --> 01:32:54,284 -Well, who else would it be? -Nobody. 1643 01:32:55,219 --> 01:32:57,551 -Good morning, Will. -Hey, Sarah. 1644 01:32:58,564 --> 01:33:01,032 Mom, can Dad come with us to the zoo? 1645 01:33:01,092 --> 01:33:03,253 Yeah, if Dad wants to come, sure. 1646 01:33:04,896 --> 01:33:07,729 You know, I Iove the zoo. Let's go to the zoo. 1647 01:33:09,467 --> 01:33:10,832 -Guess what, Mom? -EMILY: What? 1648 01:33:10,902 --> 01:33:13,598 We Iearned all about sexual intercourse at school yesterday. 1649 01:33:13,654 --> 01:33:15,485 -Really? -Really. 1650 01:33:15,656 --> 01:33:16,714 Really. 1651 01:33:20,419 --> 01:33:22,080 (PENGUINS CALLING) 1652 01:33:28,870 --> 01:33:30,360 I Iove penguins. 1653 01:33:31,347 --> 01:33:32,609 Me, too. 1654 01:33:32,682 --> 01:33:33,842 Me, three. 1655 01:33:44,218 --> 01:33:46,982 Did you know that penguins mate for Iife? 1656 01:33:47,054 --> 01:33:49,147 AIthough, Mr. Monell told us 1657 01:33:49,215 --> 01:33:51,615 that sometimes the husband and wife penguins get separated 1658 01:33:51,692 --> 01:33:53,353 'cause of their migraine patterns. 1659 01:33:53,452 --> 01:33:54,783 -Migratory. -Migratory. 1660 01:33:55,504 --> 01:34:00,066 Well, sometimes they're apart for years, but they almost always find each other. 1661 01:34:04,513 --> 01:34:06,140 Do you know what the husband and wife penguins do 1662 01:34:06,207 --> 01:34:08,937 after they find each other after all that time? 1663 01:34:10,152 --> 01:34:11,881 Throw back their heads, 1664 01:34:11,962 --> 01:34:15,193 flap their flippers and sing as Ioud as they can! 1665 01:34:15,299 --> 01:34:17,290 (IMITATING PENGUIN CALLS) 1666 01:34:27,061 --> 01:34:28,961 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) 1667 01:35:00,794 --> 01:35:03,627 Okay. AII right, munchkin. Let's go! 1668 01:35:07,718 --> 01:35:11,313 Hey, monster, that was fun today. I'II see you on Wednesday, okay? 1669 01:35:11,722 --> 01:35:13,314 (BELLS RINGING) 1670 01:35:15,301 --> 01:35:16,859 See you Iater. 1671 01:35:19,897 --> 01:35:21,228 Dad! 1672 01:35:28,122 --> 01:35:31,250 -Thanks for telling me the story. -You're welcome. 1673 01:35:32,818 --> 01:35:36,811 -I forgot to tell you the happy ending. -What is it? 1674 01:35:38,057 --> 01:35:39,388 You. 1675 01:35:41,468 --> 01:35:42,730 (SOBBING) 1676 01:35:49,760 --> 01:35:52,320 -Hey, I Iove you. -I Iove you, too. 1677 01:35:52,396 --> 01:35:55,422 Go catch up to your mom, okay? AII right, bye. 1678 01:35:57,652 --> 01:35:58,880 Are you all right? 1679 01:35:58,961 --> 01:36:00,121 Yeah? 1680 01:36:00,638 --> 01:36:01,627 (SNIFFS) 1681 01:36:18,614 --> 01:36:21,082 Mr. President! Hey, Mr. President! 1682 01:36:21,150 --> 01:36:24,142 Will Hayes, I worked on the '92 campaign. 1683 01:36:43,556 --> 01:36:44,818 (EXHALES) 1684 01:37:52,466 --> 01:37:54,798 Hi. I'm Iooking for April. 1685 01:38:04,887 --> 01:38:07,321 Check that they have Iegal representation, okay? 1686 01:38:07,390 --> 01:38:08,948 -Right. -Thanks, John. 1687 01:38:14,213 --> 01:38:15,544 (LAUGHING) 1688 01:38:17,491 --> 01:38:18,549 I can't believe you're doing this. 1689 01:38:18,634 --> 01:38:19,760 -This is great. -Thanks. 1690 01:38:19,827 --> 01:38:21,192 -Still smoking? -I quit. 1691 01:38:21,278 --> 01:38:24,873 -Me, too. Still Iive in the same Ioft? -Living in Brooklyn. 1692 01:38:24,948 --> 01:38:26,848 AIways on the cutting edge. 1693 01:38:26,917 --> 01:38:29,818 -Dating? -Not at present. You? 1694 01:38:30,638 --> 01:38:32,799 -(WHISPERS) I got divorced. -I know. 1695 01:38:32,890 --> 01:38:34,755 I heard. I'm so sorry. 1696 01:38:34,808 --> 01:38:36,435 Why? 1697 01:38:36,502 --> 01:38:38,197 You always said marriage was overrated. 1698 01:38:38,295 --> 01:38:41,560 Yeah, and you never Iistened to me. You were always with the rings. 1699 01:38:41,624 --> 01:38:44,923 -Is that why you and Kevin never... -Oh, God, Kevin. No. Kevin... 1700 01:38:45,970 --> 01:38:47,835 Something always seemed to be missing with Kevin. 1701 01:38:47,913 --> 01:38:49,904 I don't know. 1702 01:38:49,965 --> 01:38:54,402 It's weird. It was never quite right. You know? 1703 01:38:54,470 --> 01:38:55,630 Yeah. 1704 01:38:56,864 --> 01:38:59,594 -It's good to see you. -You, too. 1705 01:39:02,778 --> 01:39:04,837 I have something for you. 1706 01:39:08,709 --> 01:39:10,301 (EXCLAIMING) 1707 01:39:43,744 --> 01:39:45,268 (APRIL CRYING) 1708 01:39:46,972 --> 01:39:48,803 Thank you so much. 1709 01:39:50,142 --> 01:39:53,009 How did you find it? I mean, where did you find it? 1710 01:39:54,697 --> 01:39:57,325 That's the difficult part to explain. 1711 01:39:59,668 --> 01:40:01,363 This is gonna sound bad. 1712 01:40:02,546 --> 01:40:04,571 I've had it for a while. 1713 01:40:05,541 --> 01:40:06,872 How Iong? 1714 01:40:07,818 --> 01:40:09,149 Years. 1715 01:40:10,153 --> 01:40:11,643 Many years. 1716 01:40:12,514 --> 01:40:14,448 I meant to... 1717 01:40:14,517 --> 01:40:16,576 I meant to give it to you. I wanted to give it to you. 1718 01:40:16,660 --> 01:40:18,218 I just... 1719 01:40:18,662 --> 01:40:21,631 I couldn't. And I don't know why. 1720 01:40:22,942 --> 01:40:26,969 I dropped it off once. I mean, I tried. Kevin was there and... 1721 01:40:27,070 --> 01:40:30,699 Hey, there is no excuse, and I'm sorry. 1722 01:40:32,034 --> 01:40:33,729 It's inexcusable. 1723 01:40:38,040 --> 01:40:40,736 -I think you should go, Will. -April? 1724 01:40:41,911 --> 01:40:43,811 I think you should go. 1725 01:40:58,126 --> 01:41:01,425 You never gave it to her? After all that time? 1726 01:41:01,488 --> 01:41:03,422 -WILLIAM: I know. I know. -But it was from her dad. 1727 01:41:03,490 --> 01:41:05,720 I know. I know. 1728 01:41:05,801 --> 01:41:07,735 And then you just Ieft? 1729 01:41:08,821 --> 01:41:10,152 Yep. 1730 01:41:11,657 --> 01:41:14,854 How come you changed all the names except hers? 1731 01:41:14,943 --> 01:41:16,069 What do you mean? 1732 01:41:16,136 --> 01:41:19,003 In the story, you know, Iike Mom became Emily, 1733 01:41:19,081 --> 01:41:22,812 and Summer's that Natasha Iady who writes for that magazine. 1734 01:41:22,893 --> 01:41:25,657 But you didn't change April's name. Why? 1735 01:41:28,590 --> 01:41:32,686 Why are you so concerned with all of this anyway? 1736 01:41:32,911 --> 01:41:35,243 Because I want you to be happy. 1737 01:41:35,522 --> 01:41:36,853 You know, 1738 01:41:37,933 --> 01:41:39,594 I'm happy. 1739 01:41:40,577 --> 01:41:43,102 Trust me, Dad. You're not happy. 1740 01:41:56,927 --> 01:41:58,588 Put your coat on. 1741 01:42:03,934 --> 01:42:05,424 -Taxi! -Taxi! 1742 01:42:12,225 --> 01:42:14,022 MAYA: She said something was missing with Kevin, 1743 01:42:14,119 --> 01:42:16,747 which means it might not be missing with you, 1744 01:42:16,813 --> 01:42:19,577 -which is good news, right? -Could be. 1745 01:42:20,542 --> 01:42:21,839 Could be. 1746 01:42:23,345 --> 01:42:27,179 Did you know that 35 people try to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge each year? 1747 01:42:27,241 --> 01:42:29,471 Most because of broken hearts. 1748 01:42:30,386 --> 01:42:32,013 I'II keep that in mind. 1749 01:42:45,592 --> 01:42:46,854 (BUZZING) 1750 01:42:50,005 --> 01:42:53,031 -APRIL: Hello. -Hey. Hi. 1751 01:42:53,208 --> 01:42:54,197 It's me, Will. 1752 01:42:54,267 --> 01:42:55,256 (GASPS) 1753 01:42:56,653 --> 01:42:57,847 April? 1754 01:43:04,111 --> 01:43:05,942 What are you doing here? 1755 01:43:07,339 --> 01:43:08,363 WILLIAM: Uh... 1756 01:43:08,424 --> 01:43:10,187 MAYA: Go on, tell her. 1757 01:43:11,201 --> 01:43:12,725 Who's that? 1758 01:43:12,786 --> 01:43:15,880 That would be my daughter, Maya. 1759 01:43:15,956 --> 01:43:18,254 That's kind of cheating, isn't it? Bringing your daughter? 1760 01:43:18,342 --> 01:43:20,242 What am I supposed to do now? 1761 01:43:21,595 --> 01:43:23,586 Well, you could Iet us in. 1762 01:43:26,517 --> 01:43:29,179 I don't think she's gonna Iet us in. 1763 01:43:29,686 --> 01:43:30,948 (EXHALES) 1764 01:43:31,104 --> 01:43:32,628 I think you're wrong. 1765 01:43:33,924 --> 01:43:35,391 Come on, Iet's go. Let's go. 1766 01:43:35,442 --> 01:43:38,809 A Iittle while Ionger. She's going to Iet us in. 1767 01:43:38,895 --> 01:43:41,125 Okay, kiddo, here's the deal. 1768 01:43:41,198 --> 01:43:43,291 I'm gonna count to 30, okay? 1769 01:43:43,366 --> 01:43:45,357 And if she doesn't Iet us in, we're gonna go home, 1770 01:43:45,436 --> 01:43:47,370 and we're never gonna talk about this again. 1771 01:43:47,438 --> 01:43:49,599 -Deal? -Yeah. 1772 01:43:50,215 --> 01:43:51,341 Ready? 1773 01:43:51,967 --> 01:43:56,427 -One, two, three... -One, two, three... 1774 01:43:56,496 --> 01:44:00,626 -...four, five, six... -...four, five, six... 1775 01:44:01,618 --> 01:44:06,715 -...14, 15, 16, 17... -...14, 15, 16, 17... 1776 01:44:06,790 --> 01:44:09,782 If she Iets us in, tell her the story Iike you told me. 1777 01:44:09,835 --> 01:44:12,099 -And then she'll know. -WILLIAM: Know what? 1778 01:44:12,229 --> 01:44:14,220 I can't explain. She'll just know. 1779 01:44:15,098 --> 01:44:20,126 -...25, 26, 27... -...25, 26, 27... 1780 01:44:22,472 --> 01:44:24,201 -Twenty-nine. -Twenty-nine. 1781 01:44:26,285 --> 01:44:28,981 Twenty-nine and a quarter. 1782 01:44:29,021 --> 01:44:31,489 Twenty-nine and a half. 1783 01:44:33,283 --> 01:44:35,615 Twenty-nine and three-quarters. 1784 01:44:37,028 --> 01:44:38,893 What comes after that? 1785 01:44:41,291 --> 01:44:42,690 Time to go. 1786 01:44:45,546 --> 01:44:47,946 MAYA: But this wasn't what was supposed to have happened. 1787 01:44:48,023 --> 01:44:49,320 -I know. -I really thought 1788 01:44:49,383 --> 01:44:53,342 she would have heard through the intercom and Iet us in, 1789 01:44:53,445 --> 01:44:55,003 or run down the stairs and say... 1790 01:44:55,055 --> 01:44:56,454 What story? 1791 01:45:00,285 --> 01:45:01,684 What story? 1792 01:45:13,490 --> 01:45:15,958 -I kept the book... -Yeah? 1793 01:45:17,410 --> 01:45:20,971 ...because it was the only thing that I had Ieft of you. 1794 01:45:41,743 --> 01:45:45,702 -You must be Maya. -You must be April. 1795 01:45:50,277 --> 01:45:52,370 So what happens now? 1796 01:45:52,446 --> 01:45:55,711 You invite us inside, and we tell you the story. 1797 01:45:56,833 --> 01:45:57,993 Okay. 1798 01:46:45,573 --> 01:46:47,666 (UPBEAT FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)