Betty, are you ready?
It's stuck.
What about now?
Betty!
I'II get it. Just go.
Betty? The car is here.
What's going on? We've got to go.
DarIing, I just don't think I can go tonight.
What's the matter?
It's a woman's thing.
Is there any way you couId pIay with pain?
It's the Junior League of New York. I don't want to do it without you.
Your mother wiII be there. It'II be very endearing.
Forgive me on the way?
Thank you.
Say au revoir.
Bonjour, Marie.
Marie, I can't understand you.
-Moustiques? -Mosquitoes.
We can't Iet Heinz beat us there.
He has a name, you know.
And do you know what that is?
Are you kidding me?
He's the onIy man I want to pIease more than you.
And your father.
I'm the baby. They miss me.
So, Megan, you're French. I suppose I shouId ask you what Iooks good.
I'm Canadian. AIthough, for aII we know, they are, too.
You know, back in Pittsburgh,
everybody is pretty much who you expect them to be.
Or you know them forever.
Raymond and I met in high schooI.
WeII, then we've been married Ionger than you.
-I toId you he was smooth. -How did you two meet?
-WeII... -At work.
Don was divorced.
WeII, that's none of my business.
You have a teenage daughter, EmiIy.
-How's her summer? -It's tough.
She's around the house aII the time.
Too oId for camp, too young for a job.
-I say Iet her enjoy it. -I agree.
You don't sound so happy about it when I get home.
WeII, the music is so Ioud.
Do you know the RoIIing Stones, Don?
-Sure. -The Stones.
She can't get enough of them.
The other night, she's pIaying this song, "Time, time is on your side..."
-Time ls On My Side. -Yes, it is, dear.
WeII, it's catchy. And I was thinking, what if they were to sing, you know,
"Heinz, Heinz, Heinz is on my side"?
Or something Iike that. I don't know.
They're gonna be in New York.
EmiIy aImost jumped in our bags with us when she heard we were coming.
Maybe you couId, you know, get them to record it whiIe they're here.
WeII, that's not exactIy the way it works, but we can certainIy approach them.
This is boring. Am I right, Megan?
Yes.
CIara, where is Roger?
Caroline says the meeting is in his office.
-You wanted to see me? -I was waiting in my office
to give you some good news.
Drinking good news?
Mohawk caIIed.
You're weIcome.
They haven't informed their agency, but I'm toId it's a matter of hours.
WeIcome back, suckers.
I think you shouId handIe the account.
-So, they asked for me. -They enjoy your company.
And since you were here when they were here, they think you know their business.
I know Hank from the war. He Iikes vodka.
Jack Iikes Jack. Anything eIse?
So you're aware they've taken on $54 miIIion in debt to repIace their pIanes
and there's a mechanic strike Iooming?
-AIthough they'II IikeIy be spared. -So far, so good.
Don and I have been trying to expIain to Lane
this is a daiIy business and we'II need a dedicated copywriter.
I don't understand why Miss OIson can't handIe it.
Because these guys are gonna ask her to make drinks.
We're stiII paying Don, aren't we?
Don's not going to write IocaI fare ads three times a week.
That's aII it is?
Just get a guy with basic retaiI experience and run with it.
CongratuIations.
Lane, smiIe. We've got an airIine.
Morning. I'm here to see Don.
Yes, just a minute. Mr. Draper, Mr. Crane to see you.
Just a minute, Dawn.
Is Don in a meeting?
He's with Mrs. Draper.
Thank you, Dawn.
You're weIcome.
It's so confusing.
PeopIe keep saying that, but we haven't had any probIems.
You haven't. But out in the office, it's reaIIy hard to teII who's who.
-HeIIo, Harry. -Good morning.
Backstage, Forest HiIIs Tennis Stadium, Saturday night,
put your hands together for the RoIIing Stones.
And how wouId you gauge their interest?
The manager sounded greedy. I thought we'd take one car.
-I'II drive. -It starts at 8:00,
but apparentIy they're aIways Iate. I thought we couId grab a bite.
There's a dynamite ItaIian restaurant with a first-rate veaI parm.
-Nope. -Good.
Then I wiII be ready at 7:30, having eaten.
Have Dawn penciI it in.
-HeIIo, PauIine. -HeIIo, dear.
I just wanted to see how you were feeIing.
Aren't you sweet to come aII the way over here
when a phone caII wouId have sufficed.
Are the chiIdren home?
They're at day camp. You know that.
Betty, you were soreIy missed Iast night.
WeII, that's good to hear, I guess.
You've missed a bunch of these, Betty.
-PauIine... -And I'm sure he never shows it,
but it upsets Henry when you're not there.
I want him to be happy. And you being with him is part of that.
I wasn't feeIing weII.
Honey, I know how it happens.
You get comfortabIe, and you give up a IittIe bit,
and then it just gets out of controI.
There are things you can do about this.
There are piIIs you can take.
Why haven't you taken them?
BeIieve me, I wouId if I couId.
I have a heart condition.
And honestIy, at my age, I don't have to pIease men anymore.
But you...
Don't you want to get back into that incredibIe cIoset of yours again?
It'II be easy for you.
You're just one of those girIs.
Thank you, Dawn.
-What's so funny? -She was the most quaIified.
We've got great news, but assume this is for your ampIe ears onIy.
Is it about Heinz and the RoIIing Stones?
-What? -No.
Harry's such a Iiar.
Baked beans and the RoIIing Stones.
A cIient's idea if I ever heard one.
Mohawk AirIines is returning.
That's great. That's a big fish.
It's a minnow, but it's our minnow.
WeII, I obviousIy have experience, I mean, at a Iow IeveI,
but I saw how it worked.
Your pIate is fuII,
and, frankIy, Mohawk is going to insist on a reguIar copywriter.
-Someone with a penis. -I'II work on that.
CaII in books. You're the search committee.
-Okay, when? -ImmediateIy.
Now, this is gonna be my account,
so I don't want just some hack with retaiI experience.
He shouId be briIIiant and have awards.
I want you to bring me a good-Iooking version of Don.
That'II be easy.
-Mrs. Francis. -HeIIo.
So nice of you to see me so quickIy.
WeII, sIow day.
What seems to be the probIem?
WeII, it's just that I've been wondering...
I've put on a few pounds
and I haven't had much Iuck reducing on my own for some reason.
WeII, with middIe-aged women, it gets easier to put it on and harder to take it off.
WeII,
a friend toId me it'd be easier if you gave me diet piIIs.
Just to give me a IittIe jump-start.
Is your friend a doctor?
No.
WeII, I'm not going to give you a prescription without giving you an exam.
What, for diet piIIs?
If you think it's necessary.
Mrs. Francis, when a housewife has a rapid weight gain,
the cause is usuaIIy psychoIogicaI.
Unhappiness, anxiety, boredom, things that cause us to Iose our seIf-controI.
But first,
we have to ruIe out diabetes, hyperthyroidism...
I don't need to take the piIIs forever.
I don't Iike that.
What?
CouId you swaIIow?
Henry!
Mrs. Francis is on line one.
-Betts, you there? -Don.
-I don't know what to do. -About what?
I went to the doctor this morning and he found this thing.
It's a node or a noduIe
or something, and it's on my thyroid.
And they don't know what it is, but it's a Iump, Don.
And he's sending me to the city to some speciaIist for tests.
Okay, okay, caIm down.
I can't, Don. I can't.
Betts, what exactIy did he say?
Nothing. You know how they are.
Do you want me to take the kids?
The kids.
The kids. Oh, God.
Birdie.
Say what you aIways say.
Everything's gonna be okay.
Okay.
Bye-bye.
If I see one more VoIkswagen ad with something eIse in it...
You can do an ad on anything you want. Don't pick toiIet paper, shitbird.
Too fat.
Too thin.
SheIIy Parker. Might be a woman, God forbid.
Irony. That's promising.
Have I Iost my sense of smeII, or is this good?
That's bitching.
What's this guy's name?
"MichaeI Ginsberg."
Nice knowing you, Mike.
What are you doing? That's the best one I've seen.
This is why girIs don't pIay sports.
You've been working on Heinz for four months.
Somebody eIse is gonna carry the baII across the goaI Iine?
Bringing him in for Mohawk.
I hope you Iike him. He's gonna be your boss someday.
I Iike working with taIented peopIe. It inspires me.
I'm not taIking about me. I'm taIking about another writer.
Are you suddenIy not competitive?
The chick who races peopIe to the toiIet?
I'm going to bring him in.
Stick to mediocre. You'II sIeep better.
Can I come in?
Of course.
I just got off the phone with Jim. He said tomorrow at 1 1 :00.
Tomorrow?
My boss made a caII.
You toId Mayor Lindsay?
He's got bigger secrets than this, Betty.
-I don't know if tomorrow... -You want to wait on this?
-WeII, if it is something... -If, if, if.
Betty, Iet's not pIay that game, okay?
Come to bed.
You want some brandy?
I see you aII the time. You're beautifuI.
You're sweet.
I'm gonna have a brandy.
Betty.
Betty Draper. I aImost didn't recognize you.
Joyce, heIIo. How are you?
Not good. I'm here.
Mrs. Francis, the doctor's waiting.
It's Francis now.
My husband's name is Henry, too, actuaIIy.
Look, you know what?
I'm gonna be in radioIogy forever.
Mrs. DarIing, they're waiting for you, too.
Why are you here?
You want to get some Iunch after?
I don't know. My husband's picking me up.
You think you don't want to have Iunch, but you do.
Okay.
Okay, okay. I'm going.
HeIIo. I'm Peggy OIson.
MichaeI Ginsberg. Lead the way.
No, we're meeting here.
So what's he Iike? Is he Iike a firm handshake kind of guy?
-Excuse me? -Don.
I want to make a good impression. You couId heIp me out.
No, I'm interviewing you. I'm a copywriter.
Have a seat.
So, is Don stopping by?
No, it's just me.
-Can you hire me? -WeII, no, but I'm the first round.
WouIdn't you want to taIk to the person who couId hire you?
I spent three weeks dancing at that crappy New York sateIIite of Leo Burnett.
Never met him at aII. Turns out Leo's not a reaI person.
-Yes, he is. -Is Don a reaI person?
'Cause I'd reaIIy Iike to meet him.
I'm the person you need to impress right now.
You Iooked at my book. What more can I say?
Okay.
-I Iiked your work. -And I Iike your work.
You thought I was a secretary. Do you have a current resume?
-AIIen Ginsberg? -He's the most famous Ginsberg there is.
I figured we got to be reIated somehow.
And what's he gonna say?
Okay, weII, it was nice meeting you.
Nuts. Listen, my stuff is good.
You can see advertising ain't my day job.
Look, you're a fair woman.
I insuIted you because I'm honest.
And I apoIogized because I'm brave.
I didn't pick this profession. It picked me. I didn't have any controI over it.
Turns out it's the onIy thing I can do.
-Your work's very impressive, but... -Here's some other advantages...
I have no hobbies, no interests, no friends.
I'm one of those peopIe who taIks back to the radio.
No girIfriend, no famiIy. I wiII Iive here.
Then you're Iike everyone eIse.
I've never been accused of that, but I reaIIy am trying.
I don't know.
You can't act Iike this with Don.
Like what?
-We'II caII you. -Okay.
You know, your book reaIIy does have a voice.
That's what they said about Mein Kampf.
The kid reaIIy has a voice.
-You're sure you're okay just with tea? -Yes.
Everything tastes Iike sawdust to me.
Everything stiII tastes good to me.
Turns out I have the onIy kind that makes you fatter.
Look, I'm sure you're fine.
When do you find out the resuIts?
I don't remember.
It wasn't untiI the third visit that I knew.
Because Hank was waiting there.
Have you toId your chiIdren?
They know I'm going to the doctor a Iot,
and they know I'm sick, but I've aIways been in a bad mood, so...
I joke with Hank. He shouId just teII them I got hit by a car.
It'd be easier to deaI with than saying goodbye.
The scene.
I'm Ieaving behind such a mess.
You're not going anywhere.
He's my second husband.
His mother's domineering.
And Don's girIfriend...
WeII, they're married.
She's 20 years oId.
They'II never hear a nice word about me again.
I'm sorry, but I have to ask you.
What is it Iike?
WeII,
it's Iike you're way out in the ocean,
aIone, and you're paddIing,
and you see peopIe on the shore, but they're getting farther and farther away.
And you struggIe because it's naturaI.
Then your mind wanders back to everything normaI.
What am I gonna fix for dinner? Did I Iock the back door?
And then you just get so tired,
you just give in and hope you go straight down.
That's horribIe.
No one's ever asked.
HeIIo, Iadies. I am CeciIIia, and I have the gift of sight.
CouId I offer you a reading?
You're gonna predict our future?
-Go ahead. -ReaIIy?
It's aIways good.
-Oh, my. -What?
You're a great souI.
You mean so much to the peopIe around you.
You're a rock.
I'm sorry.
We're done. Thank you.
You need some more tea.
-Are you okay? -I had drinks with Mohawk.
I sat down with two of them and I swear by the end there were three.
Did you hire him?
No, he was crazy. I'm caIIing in more books.
Define crazy for a copywriter.
SIeeps aII day, disrespectfuI of authority, drunk haIf the time. Did he smeII Iike pee?
-Who smeIIs Iike pee? -Writers. Just hire him.
I can't. Don wiII hate him. He's certifiabIe.
I order you to bring him in.
You have to. I aIready toId Mohawk.
Why wouId you do that?
I wanted to smooth the ground about working with a Jew.
Turns out everybody's got one now.
TeII you the truth, it makes the agency more modern.
Between that and it's aIways darkest before the dawn over there.
At Ieast this one we're hiring on purpose.
I can find another Jew, if that's what you care about.
Look, I know what you're afraid of.
Sweetheart, no one's gonna repIace you.
I'm not threatened by his taIent. He's not that good.
I just think Don wiII hate him, and then he'II hate me.
I'II be there. I'II handIe Don.
-How can you hear anything? -I'm foIIowing your advice.
I'm being bathed in commerciaIs.
My God, you're so square, you've got corners.
I have to make sure I Iook Iike the man.
If Betty caIIs, you know, or the kids, teII them I'II caII them in the morning.
What did she want anyway?
Who knows?
WeII, have fun.
And I don't mean that.
This is backstage. That's the reaI backstage.
Nice to see you.
-We're here to see the RoIIing Stones. -They're not here.
WeII, actuaIIy, we're here to see their manager, AIIen KIein.
-He's not here either. -I'm Harry Crane. I'm on the Iist.
There's no Iist.
WiII you Iet us know when they get here?
Sir, I promise you'II know.
ShouId have taIked him out of this at the dinner tabIe.
WeII, we either wait for them to show up or wait for them to come out of there.
Hey, mister, teII your friend I'II trade him a joint for a cigarette.
You can have one for free.
No, I just wanted to make sure you guys weren't cops.
Can you Iight this for me?
-There's a cop right over there. -He's cooI.
-What are you doing? -They're cooI.
They don't Iook cooI.
-What are you two doing here? -We're here on business.
-What kind of business? -Advertising.
Like Bewitched?
You're Derwood and he's Mr. Kravitz.
Are you sure you want to?
It's been too Iong.
I thought that's what you wanted.
You know who has the best stuff?
-CharIton Heston. -Who's that?
We went to his house, he came out naked.
He's a very good-Iooking man.
I guess if I Iooked Iike that, I wouId be naked a Iot, too.
In fairness, I don't think he knew we were there.
It was kind of an impromptu meeting.
We wanted him to be the voice of VapoRub.
Right? WouIdn't that be perfect?
She just said she doesn't know who he is.
Come on, they're Ietting us in. I toId them how important you are.
-Thank you. -No, just HaroId.
-Who'd you teII them I was? -Just go.
Hey, he's getting me in, not you.
I'II send for you.
She knows what she's doing.
You reaIIy think you're gonna get the RoIIing Stones
-to do a TV ad? -They did one for cereaI in EngIand.
It must have been a Iong time ago.
It was three years ago. When you were probabIy, what, 1 1 ?
You see someone do that in a movie?
You need to reIax.
So what do you Iike so much about the RoIIing Stones?
Why don't you get me backstage and you'II see?
What do you feeI when you hear them?
Brian Jones.
He's a troubadour.
So you feeI romantic.
God, you're Iike a psychiatrist.
What do you know about psychiatrists?
Do you have a business card or something I couId try on the doorman?
I'II make breakfast.
If, if, if.
You know what? I am hungry.
I'm so sorry, sweetheart.
So what do you think? They gonna show?
Stop Iooking at your watch. They're gonna come when they come.
They're gonna come right down that haIIway and I'm gonna jump on Brian Iike Jack Ruby.
And what do you expect to happen?
I'II get into that dressing room
and I'm gonna stare at him whiIe he tunes his guitar.
He'II see me from across the room.
I'm Lady Jane. He'II know that.
Then what are you gonna do?
I don't know. Whatever he wants.
And what do you think he wants?
None of you want any of us to have a good time just 'cause you never did.
No, we're worried about you.
Got it! I got it!
They want to do it. I have never seen peopIe more excited.
Wait, you met them?
-They're here. They're here. -They're here.
Who were you taIking to?
They even sounded just Iike them when they were singing.
They pIayed for me.
I'm sorry I faiIed, Don.
We can try again tomorrow. Asbury Park?
Forget it. Manager Iooked right through us.
You want the Iast one?
There were 20.
I thought you were getting it for your famiIy.
You know what? Let them get their own.
You bring home a bag of food and they go at it, and there's nothing Ieft for you.
Eat first.
That's my recommendation to peopIe who say they're getting married and having kids.
Eat first.
-Sure you don't want it? -Harry, you have to go.
Just Iet me sit here for a second.
I have to get home.
Those girIs, Don.
Those young girIs.
They are so much fun.
Everybody's having fun. They're aII on drugs.
You're on drugs.
You signed the Tradewinds. Who the heII are they?
Just go inside.
What are we gonna teII Raymond?
That the RoIIing Stones aren't good for Heinz.
Yeah.
His daughterjust probabIy wanted to meet them.
I don't think they're good for her, either.
I'm gonna Ieave the bag. Jennifer has me on a diet.
-We shouId do this again. -Bye, Harry.
I waited as Iong as I couId, but we've got to go.
ReaIIy?
Drink too much with the Stones?
No, we didn't get to meet them.
WeII, you'II have pIenty of time to teII me. It takes forever to get to Fire IsIand.
Did Betty caII?
No. Let's go.
Megan.
What?
I have to teII you something.
-What happened? -It's Betty.
She might be sick. ReaIIy sick.
What?
They found a tumor.
That's terribIe.
Why didn't you teII me?
I didn't know how you'd react.
What, did you think I'd be happy?
I don't know what I thought. I just knew she wouIdn't want you to know.
WeII, it affects me.
There's a possibiIity that it's nothing.
And if it's something, we'II deaI with it.
-You know I Iove SaIIy, and... -No, no, no.
I don't want to have that conversation.
Great. Then Iet's go. Your trunks on the dresser.
No.
I just can't.
Megan, you are 26 years oId.
So I don't understand death?
I understand you went to that concert Iast night,
but now it's suddenIy too overwheIming when we're supposed to go see my friends.
Come on.
There's nothing you can do.
It's okay.
This is very provocative.
That one. I was at the movies.
WeII, not the movies. I was in Times Square at a peep show.
-ShouIdn't we wait for Roger? -For what?
He doesn't even come to the meetings that are important.
-Go on. -There's a resume in there.
Okay.
So you were at Needham for a Iong time and a Iot of other pIaces for a short time.
I checked his references thoroughIy or I wouIdn't have brought him in.
WouId you Iet him taIk?
I'm opinionated, but I know if you were my boss,
I wouId have no probIem saying, "Okay, Don."
UnIess you want me to caII you Mr. Draper. I worked for someone Iike that.
-Kirk Whitby? -I'm not gonna say.
You wouIdn't want me running aII over town teIIing your secrets.
WeII, I wouIdn't want you grumbIing behind my back, either.
You're right. I shouIdn't have said that.
I just wanted to make you smiIe.
I'II be honest.
I've admired you since the Ietter.
I thought it was the funniest thing I ever read.
And the fact that I can say "The Ietter" and everyone knows what I'm taIking about.
I just want to be a part of this pIace.
I think it's on the way up.
Between you and Margaret,
she's very interesting.
And I think I made it cIear, so are you.
PIeasure to meet you, MichaeI.
Good work.
Thanks.
Promise me you didn't just hire the handsomest one.
Anything eIse?
Get him set up and Iet him haggIe with Lane.
Roger, I see you've met Mr. Ginsberg.
Yeah, turns out we both have a dream of throwing something through this window.
-How'd it go? -Good.
See? I'm proud of you.
Mr. Ginsberg, foIIow me.
I'm sorry. My stomach rumbIes sometimes and it can sound Iike the "F" word.
You know, I thought you were crazy when I met you,
and you have confirmed it by not acting the way that you acted with me.
You toId me not to act that way.
And the fact that you can controI it reaIIy scares me.
So I'm not getting the job?
No, you start tomorrow.
I wouId Iike to pick you up and spin you around right now,
but I don't want peopIe to think that's how I got the job.
WeII, I'm gIad you're excited.
Come on, be proud of me. I need it.
Nobody in the worId cares I got the job but you.
Then I'm happy.
I can't beIieve this.
You shouId have just gone into work.
Come on.
-Do you want me to turn down the TV? -It's fine.
Henry Francis.
WeII, teII Jim His Honor is not going to Michigan.
Because Romney's a cIown and I don't want him standing next to him.
Because he's got a city to run.
Can we taIk Iater?
Francis residence.
This is Betty.
Okay.
Yes.
Thank you for getting back to me so quickIy.
Okay.
Goodbye.
It's benign.
I knew it.
I'm so happy.
You're okay, you know.
I feeI Iike I just got off a boat from China.
Hey, everything's okay.
No, it's good. It's good.
It's nice to be put through the wringer and find out I'm just fat.
Betty, come on.
You're exhausted.
That's what it is, isn't it?
I don't know how many ways to teII you,
but I don't see it.
I know.
-Your mother's obese. -Hey.
Listen to me, I feeI Iike I've been given a gift.
Like Scrooge seeing his tombstone.
Oh, my God, this is what it couId be. But it's not gonna be.
Saturday night was fun.
Okay.
I'd Iike to say that I've gathered you aII here
so you may remember how smaII this agency once was.
Mohawk AirIines has chosen to return to SterIing Cooper Draper Pryce.
Now, now.
I'm just pIeased that after a Iong effort, I was abIe to sign them.
I've aIso hired a new copywriter
and Iook forward to great success, with your heIp.
And, of course, Mr. SterIing wiII be handIing the day to day.
But rest assured, everything he knows, I'II know.
You gonna break that over its nose?
Forget everything I said before.
-Excuse me? -That's the Iast guy I hired.
Hey.
-Roger. -What?
LittIe prick dangIed it in front of me and took it away.
It was disrespectfuI.
You know, I used to Iove that kid.
I wouId hoId his hand and heIp him up on the swing set.
He grew up.
-What did you expect? -I'm tired of it, Don.
I'm tired of trying to prove I stiII have any vaIue around here.
I'm exhausted from hanging onto the Iedge and having
some kid's foot on my fingertips.
Bombs away.
Betty has cancer.
ReaIIy?
I don't know.
They're waiting on tests.
WeII, that wouId soIve everything.
You want me to make a caII?
She probabIy knows aIready.
I'm the one that has to caII.
She's a fighter.
Come on.
I just imagine them growing up without a mother.
I never had one.
Megan wiII try,
but what are they gonna do?
How does that end up?
ActuaI Iife and death.
I've given up on that.
I can't do that.
When is everything gonna get back to normaI?
-Henry Francis. -Hi, Henry. It's Don.
HeIIo, Don.
I wanted to know if there was any news
about Betty.
I didn't reaIize she...
She's fine. She's out of the woods.
-WeII, that's great news. -It is.
You know, we're about to put supper on the tabIe.
I'II Iet you go.
Who was it?
Nobody.
Betty's fine.
I'm gIad to hear it.
You're such an optimist.
She just needs to have something to caII you about.
Take you to dinner?
Sure.
Pete Fox died.
Fifty-seven years oId, for crying out Ioud.
I don't know who that is, Pop.
Red Sox.
Right fieId, he pIayed.
I got the job.
You don't say.
What do you want to eat?
What do I want to eat?
We shouId get girIs.
An oId one and a young one.
I got a rye bread and some farmer cheese.
Look at me.
What are you doing?
Come on.
-Don't you Iike it? -It's good.
Aren't you going to finish?
I'm fuII.
Can I watch TV?
Go ahead.