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Welcome to Hazzard County.
2
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A little corner of the world where
everyone knows everyone else...
3
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... and people are never too busy
to stop and say howdy.
4
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Shoot, some folks even say this is
where the apple pie was invented.
5
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Yep, basically everything down here
moves a little bit slower...
6
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... unless, of course,
your last name is Duke.
7
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Man, the General's in good shape.
8
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Bo, it's happy hour at The Boar's Nest,
and we still got two deliveries to make.
9
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It's all one big happy hour, Luke.
Besides, we're taking a shortcut.
10
00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:46,151
Hi, Luke.
11
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- I got this one.
- You sure that's a good idea, cuz?
12
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It's a great idea. Come on.
13
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Hey, Laurie.
14
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- You here to make your delivery?
- Well, I was hoping to.
15
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Luke, remember last time.
16
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Don't worry about it, cuz.
17
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It's okay, Bo. Pa ain't here.
18
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See, Bo? Pa ain't here.
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- Hi.
- Hi.
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Play hard to get, little buddy.
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Listen and learn, General.
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And now, side two
of the Al Unser, Jr. Story:
23
00:02:37,307 --> 00:02:42,335
No Questions, Only Unsers,
as read by Laurence Fishburne.
24
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"I'm too old for this shit. "
25
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That's what I was thinking
as I turned into the final lap...
26
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... running fourth at Talladega.
27
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But then it hit me.
Life is like a racetrack.
28
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You gotta keep going
round and round.
29
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- That is so true.
- Sure, sometimes you crash and burn.
30
00:03:00,997 --> 00:03:04,455
But if you don't make the turn,
you ain't never gonna learn.
31
00:03:04,834 --> 00:03:09,669
So I gripped the wheel tighter,
checked my gauges, and made my move.
32
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Make my move. Give you my move.
Make it, mother...
33
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- Jesus Christ!
- Howdy, Bo.
34
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Hey, Mr. Pullman.
I nearly shit myself.
35
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- How you doing, sir?
- Oh, I'm fine.
36
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You ready for that big
Hazzard Rally this weekend?
37
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Yeah, I got him all tuned up.
Right, General?
38
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How many times
you won that, anyway?
39
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- Four in a row, sir.
- Four in a row.
40
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That's good. Billy Prickett won it four
in a row, and look what he's doing today.
41
00:03:38,568 --> 00:03:40,934
- Hey, you been hunting?
- Yes, sir.
42
00:03:41,104 --> 00:03:43,629
Yeah, I been using
those new whammy shells.
43
00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:47,139
They scatter less for when you really
wanna blow a hole in something.
44
00:03:50,013 --> 00:03:52,709
- Cool. Guns.
- Yeah.
45
00:03:54,217 --> 00:03:56,777
Are you delivering
all by yourself today?
46
00:03:56,953 --> 00:03:58,944
Oh, no. I never travel alone, sir.
47
00:03:59,122 --> 00:04:01,488
I like to think I travel
with the man upstairs.
48
00:04:02,725 --> 00:04:04,192
You know, Jesus.
49
00:04:05,862 --> 00:04:08,422
You know, I like that attitude.
50
00:04:08,598 --> 00:04:10,896
I'm gonna look around
and find a boy like you...
51
00:04:11,067 --> 00:04:13,592
...to date my daughter,
Laurie, pretty soon.
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Because she's getting curious
about boys, you know.
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Yeah.
54
00:04:18,408 --> 00:04:21,104
Oh, you're talking about sex, right?
55
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I just wanna keep that
sorry cousin of yours away from her.
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The way he looks at her galls me.
You know what I mean?
57
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You get back here right now,
you son of a bitch.
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Get back here.
59
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Luke! Luke!
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00:04:37,393 --> 00:04:40,556
- Why you running, you chickenshit?
- Goddamn Dukes.
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You get the hell off my sister.
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00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:44,329
- Jimmy!
- Oh, shit.
63
00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:47,435
Damn you, Luke!
You get back in the house!
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- Go, Bo, go!
- Luke, wait!
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- Put on a shirt!
- Come on, come on, come on.
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I forgot about the brother. Go!
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So happy hour?
68
00:05:01,084 --> 00:05:03,917
- You're gonna get us shot someday.
- Not today.
69
00:05:04,087 --> 00:05:06,578
Not with you driving the getaway car.
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00:05:08,992 --> 00:05:11,426
- So how was it?
- It's never bad.
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Son of a bitch.
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Here, load up with these
whammy shells.
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They'll blow a hole through
an elephant's ass.
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Look out.
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Oh, goddamn it!
You're gonna replace that.
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00:05:33,383 --> 00:05:35,476
- What's he using?
- You don't wanna know.
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Dadgum it,
you just assassinated a tree.
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Got a big kick to it.
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00:05:40,156 --> 00:05:43,057
Don't you worry. They can't touch
the General. Come on, boy.
80
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You missed, Jimmy!
81
00:05:52,468 --> 00:05:56,700
Can't you shoot straight? Don't point
that thing at me, you chucklehead.
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Don't call me a chucklehead.
I ain't a chucklehead.
83
00:06:00,176 --> 00:06:02,701
Hey! Get that gun out of the wheel!
84
00:06:03,346 --> 00:06:05,746
What are you doing? Hey.
Hey. What the hell?
85
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- Goddamn it.
- I'm sorry, Daddy.
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00:06:07,984 --> 00:06:09,884
Let's go after them.
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00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:15,019
- Bo, did you see that sign?
- I can read!
88
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This is how you planned
on losing them?
89
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You ain't scared, are you?
90
00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:22,154
Scared? Hell, no. I just don't
wanna hear it from Uncle Jesse...
91
00:06:22,331 --> 00:06:24,595
...when you break his bottles of shine.
92
00:06:24,767 --> 00:06:27,395
I bet you the old phone book
I don't break a bottle.
93
00:06:27,570 --> 00:06:29,367
Phone book it is.
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Daddy, you get me close,
and I'll put a bullet in this son of a bitch.
95
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Goddamn it, Jimmy!
96
00:06:38,414 --> 00:06:41,941
Who says I can't shoot? Daddy? Daddy!
97
00:07:02,371 --> 00:07:05,272
Bo and Luke Duke.
98
00:07:05,441 --> 00:07:07,841
Cousins closer than brothers.
99
00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:10,240
Both big-hearted, strong-willed...
100
00:07:10,413 --> 00:07:13,814
... and restless as a couple of cats
thrown into a swimming hole.
101
00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:42,344
Nice driving, cuz.
102
00:07:46,415 --> 00:07:47,882
What?
103
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- I won the bet, you son of a bitch.
- Oh, come on.
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I didn't break any bottles,
so I won the bet.
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00:08:02,265 --> 00:08:05,393
- I was just joking about the bet.
- Oh, you were joking?
106
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:07,627
- Yeah.
- Still getting the phone book, though.
107
00:08:07,803 --> 00:08:11,671
- Come on, double or nothing.
- Nope. Time to pay your debt, buddy.
108
00:08:12,808 --> 00:08:14,901
Which side you want,
right side or left?
109
00:08:16,612 --> 00:08:18,671
Right.
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00:08:18,848 --> 00:08:20,577
Did I hear one of your teeth break?
111
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:23,776
I don't remember the Hazzard
phone book being that thick.
112
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This is Atlanta.
113
00:08:36,299 --> 00:08:40,429
Bet was over. I can't believe that
happened. I mean, the bet was over.
114
00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:42,468
- What are you doing?
- Where you want it?
115
00:08:43,906 --> 00:08:46,340
- Oh, man.
- Where you want it?
116
00:08:46,509 --> 00:08:47,942
Left.
117
00:08:50,012 --> 00:08:51,707
That was a good one.
118
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Right in the ball sack. God.
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In case of dehydration.
120
00:09:08,397 --> 00:09:10,524
That'll put lead in your pencil.
121
00:09:14,904 --> 00:09:18,237
- Man, I'm already tired of walking.
- You could use a little exercise.
122
00:09:18,407 --> 00:09:20,568
Them jeans of yours
look tighter than Daisy's.
123
00:09:20,743 --> 00:09:24,144
Oh, yeah? I bet you a cold beer
I could beat you to The Boar's Nest.
124
00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:26,304
That's five miles.
125
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I'm coming! I'm coming!
126
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Face!
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He came back.
128
00:09:55,144 --> 00:09:57,169
What's Billy Prickett doing here?
129
00:09:57,346 --> 00:09:59,439
Well, it looks like he's here
for the race.
130
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:05,514
Man, those tires alone are worth
more than the General Lee.
131
00:10:06,622 --> 00:10:10,217
My, oh, my. Look at that.
Billy Prickett's car, huh?
132
00:10:10,660 --> 00:10:12,821
What's new
in law enforcement, Enos?
133
00:10:12,995 --> 00:10:16,692
- They make you lieutenant yet?
- Hell, you know that'll never happen.
134
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,699
Maybe one of these days you'll
wise up and come work for us.
135
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,666
We could use a man like you.
136
00:10:21,837 --> 00:10:25,500
I don't know. I don't think it's a good
time to be in the moonshine business.
137
00:10:25,675 --> 00:10:28,701
Moonshine business?
We ain't in the moonshining business.
138
00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:35,214
But if someone were in the moonshining
business, why would it be a bad time?
139
00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:38,581
Now, Luke, you know I can't say
anything. Boss Hogg'll tan my hide.
140
00:10:38,754 --> 00:10:40,244
He spanks you?
141
00:10:40,589 --> 00:10:42,921
Hey, Dil, what do you want?
We just ordered.
142
00:10:43,092 --> 00:10:46,027
By the looks of this place,
I'll take two bottles of Pepto...
143
00:10:46,195 --> 00:10:48,595
...and a shot of penicillin, right?
144
00:10:58,541 --> 00:11:00,475
Jesus, mother of Mary.
145
00:11:03,546 --> 00:11:06,037
Look away, man.
Trust me, look away.
146
00:11:06,215 --> 00:11:08,683
Don't worry about it.
I won't hurt her.
147
00:11:08,851 --> 00:11:12,480
There ain't nobody in this bar
concerned about you hurting her.
148
00:11:12,655 --> 00:11:14,384
All right, all right.
149
00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:21,256
Y'all ready to order?
150
00:11:24,166 --> 00:11:26,327
You better be reading
my nametag, friend.
151
00:11:26,502 --> 00:11:30,905
I am, I am. I noticed
your initials were double D.
152
00:11:32,875 --> 00:11:35,708
- Oh, sweet Jesus.
- I'll give you one more chance.
153
00:11:35,878 --> 00:11:38,972
You wanna order, or you wanna sit
around and make stupid jokes?
154
00:11:39,148 --> 00:11:41,446
Ain't gotta get fussy.
We're having a good time.
155
00:11:41,617 --> 00:11:44,484
I'll tell you what, I'll order.
We don't want no problems.
156
00:11:44,653 --> 00:11:46,883
Let's see...
157
00:11:47,857 --> 00:11:49,722
Do those legs come over easy?
158
00:11:49,992 --> 00:11:51,926
Oh, my God.
159
00:11:54,597 --> 00:11:58,089
- How about the special, sir?
- Dil Driscoll!
160
00:11:58,334 --> 00:12:02,031
You stop bothering that nice girl
and pick on somebody your own size.
161
00:12:02,204 --> 00:12:04,365
- Billy Prickett.
- Hey, it's Billy Prickett!
162
00:12:05,708 --> 00:12:07,403
- Welcome home, boy.
- You old mule.
163
00:12:08,010 --> 00:12:10,308
Hey.
164
00:12:12,248 --> 00:12:14,307
Why don't you cool off, Dil?
165
00:12:16,085 --> 00:12:19,077
- Come on, boy. Let's get out of here.
- My, my, my.
166
00:12:19,255 --> 00:12:23,817
Holy hell, Luke. There he is, right there.
That's Billy Prickett.
167
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:25,517
Should I buy him a drink?
168
00:12:25,694 --> 00:12:28,322
Maybe you should buy him
flowers and chocolates.
169
00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:32,627
Give me a Miller.
Make it a Löwenbräu.
170
00:12:33,803 --> 00:12:35,794
How you doing?
171
00:12:35,971 --> 00:12:39,134
Hey, Billy Prickett.
Welcome back to Hazzard.
172
00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:44,676
See, boys, I told you all the
waitresses in this place was dog ugly.
173
00:12:46,048 --> 00:12:48,812
- Man.
- I'm only fooling with you.
174
00:12:48,984 --> 00:12:50,542
Fellas, this is Bo Duke.
175
00:12:50,719 --> 00:12:54,780
Bo is looking to break my Hazzard Rally
record. What is it now, four in a row?
176
00:12:55,090 --> 00:12:56,853
Yeah, well...
177
00:12:57,026 --> 00:13:03,124
All streaks must come to an end, Bo.
I'm calling this one "the drive for five. "
178
00:13:03,299 --> 00:13:07,030
- Well, I'm looking forward to the race.
- Hey, Dil!
179
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,467
This is the boy
who's trying to break my record.
180
00:13:09,638 --> 00:13:12,869
Oh, really? I'm Dil Driscoll, crew chief.
181
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,475
- Bo-Bo, have a seat.
- Really?
182
00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:19,571
So, Billy, what's it like
being in the circuit?
183
00:13:19,748 --> 00:13:21,773
- Well...
- Hey, Billy, join me for a drink?
184
00:13:21,951 --> 00:13:23,543
Oh, well, you sweet little thing.
185
00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:26,882
Fellas, I'm awfully thirsty
all of a sudden.
186
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,456
Bo-Bo, may the best man win.
187
00:13:30,860 --> 00:13:32,350
John, another round!
188
00:13:32,528 --> 00:13:36,430
So, Bo, what's the story
on that little pistol over there?
189
00:13:36,699 --> 00:13:39,827
Because she gave me a ride earlier.
190
00:13:40,269 --> 00:13:42,863
Well, actually, she's my cousin.
191
00:13:43,038 --> 00:13:45,666
Oh, really? You hitting that?
192
00:13:46,475 --> 00:13:50,070
- She's my cousin.
- Hopefully you're kissing cousins, right?
193
00:13:52,047 --> 00:13:54,982
- Come again?
- Son, all I'm really trying to ask you...
194
00:13:55,150 --> 00:13:58,313
...is if you shuck her corn.
195
00:14:02,124 --> 00:14:08,188
Now, there are certain things you just
don't say to a Duke about another Duke.
196
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:14,296
I'll shuck your corn!
197
00:14:16,805 --> 00:14:18,272
Excuse me a second.
198
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,135
Pick him up! Pick him up!
199
00:14:22,011 --> 00:14:24,309
Hey, hey. Can I get in on this?
200
00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:25,742
- Yeah.
- Sure.
201
00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:35,013
Oh, buddy.
202
00:14:37,459 --> 00:14:38,949
Here we go.
203
00:14:41,096 --> 00:14:43,496
Fifty bucks on the Dukes!
204
00:14:57,413 --> 00:14:59,881
- That makes two, Luke!
- Attaboy!
205
00:15:08,057 --> 00:15:10,252
Hey, Billy Prickett!
206
00:15:10,492 --> 00:15:12,357
Careful, Bo-Bo.
207
00:15:16,131 --> 00:15:17,689
Don't hit him. That's A.J. Foyt!
208
00:15:17,866 --> 00:15:19,731
- Really?
- The fourth!
209
00:15:46,695 --> 00:15:49,357
- Hey, can I hit this guy?
- Kill them all!
210
00:15:52,234 --> 00:15:54,429
- The ribs are greasy.
- The beans are cold.
211
00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:05,672
Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane.
212
00:16:05,848 --> 00:16:09,511
Closest thing to law enforcement
in Hazzard County.
213
00:16:09,685 --> 00:16:13,678
Rosco's been after the Duke boys
since they started walking.
214
00:16:13,856 --> 00:16:16,484
Of course, some people say
the boys' first steps...
215
00:16:16,659 --> 00:16:21,062
... landed right on the sheriff's
last nerve.
216
00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:38,407
Dukes. Just once you two
ought to try leaving a place...
217
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:41,378
...in better shape
than it was when you walked in.
218
00:16:41,550 --> 00:16:46,385
Oh, I think your boss can afford
to replace a few broken beer mugs.
219
00:16:46,555 --> 00:16:49,524
I heard there was
a little incident earlier...
220
00:16:49,692 --> 00:16:54,891
...concerning a certain crappy
orange hot rod out at the Miller farm.
221
00:16:55,297 --> 00:16:57,925
Y'all really upset some
of them construction boys.
222
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:02,068
When I got there, they were not being
gentle with your beloved piece of crap.
223
00:17:03,372 --> 00:17:05,533
What'd you do, Rosco?
224
00:17:05,708 --> 00:17:09,644
I can't say she's gonna be in real good
racing shape for the rally this weekend.
225
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:17,278
You watch yourself, hillbilly boy.
226
00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:21,688
Come on, boys. My shift's over.
I'll take you over to Cooter's.
227
00:17:21,857 --> 00:17:23,654
Come on.
228
00:17:47,182 --> 00:17:49,616
Jefferson Davis Hogg...
229
00:17:49,785 --> 00:17:53,050
... the meanest man
in Hazzard County.
230
00:17:53,222 --> 00:17:57,852
He's canny as a fox,
tough as a badger...
231
00:17:58,260 --> 00:18:02,492
... and crooked as a hillbilly's smile.
232
00:18:04,199 --> 00:18:06,224
Well, Rosco.
233
00:18:08,804 --> 00:18:12,740
I see you have redecorated.
234
00:18:12,908 --> 00:18:15,968
Interesting style. What do you call it?
235
00:18:16,145 --> 00:18:19,672
- Well, sir, the Dukes...
- The Dukes.
236
00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:21,975
I had a feeling.
237
00:18:27,723 --> 00:18:31,454
I've got some important things
happening here this weekend.
238
00:18:31,627 --> 00:18:35,256
- Yes, sir.
- Are you gonna take care of the Dukes...
239
00:18:35,430 --> 00:18:38,866
...or am I gonna have to make
other plans?
240
00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:41,832
I'm on top of it, Boss.
241
00:18:42,004 --> 00:18:44,529
That's what I'm afraid of.
242
00:18:47,643 --> 00:18:49,167
- You ready?
- Is it bad?
243
00:18:49,344 --> 00:18:51,107
Not good.
244
00:18:54,783 --> 00:18:57,946
Hell, this is worse than the time
you sunk it in the Tipton Swamp.
245
00:19:01,256 --> 00:19:03,451
Mostly cosmetic damage,
right, Cooter?
246
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:06,627
- Mostly.
- Yeah.
247
00:19:06,795 --> 00:19:11,391
- He's gonna be ready for the race, right?
- Race? Come on, Bo.
248
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:14,058
I mean, the General doesn't race.
249
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:16,898
The General erases the competition.
250
00:19:36,058 --> 00:19:37,389
Who does this?
251
00:19:40,028 --> 00:19:44,431
It would make a nice hat or a slipper.
252
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:48,161
You know what? Just leave the General
here with me. I'll see if I can fix...
253
00:19:48,337 --> 00:19:51,829
I'll have it up running in no time.
Meanwhile, you boys take my truck.
254
00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:54,970
What if you need to tow somebody?
255
00:19:55,143 --> 00:19:58,772
If I can't "toe" them, I'll just finger them.
You know what I mean?
256
00:20:03,652 --> 00:20:09,591
Close one. Even shell-shocked,
he's a better driver than you are.
257
00:20:09,758 --> 00:20:11,749
- Thanks, Cooter.
- Yeah.
258
00:20:16,331 --> 00:20:17,889
Chin up.
259
00:20:23,505 --> 00:20:25,598
Daisy?
260
00:20:25,774 --> 00:20:27,867
Jesse L. Duke.
261
00:20:28,043 --> 00:20:30,841
- Uncle Jesse to you.
- Daisy.
262
00:20:31,013 --> 00:20:33,982
Now, Jesse's been
two places in his life:
263
00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:36,447
Hazzard County and Korea.
264
00:20:36,618 --> 00:20:39,018
- Daisy?
- I'm in here.
265
00:20:39,187 --> 00:20:41,348
- As far as he's concerned...
- Where are you?
266
00:20:41,523 --> 00:20:42,854
I'm in the shower.
267
00:20:43,025 --> 00:20:44,515
- that's one place too many.
268
00:20:44,693 --> 00:20:46,456
Ready or not, here I come.
269
00:20:54,603 --> 00:20:57,731
- How's it looking, good looking?
- Well, I fixed the vapor coils...
270
00:20:57,906 --> 00:21:01,364
...but the boiler's still slow.
You been running this around the clock?
271
00:21:01,543 --> 00:21:05,172
Them boys break more bottles than
they deliver. Eight cases this month.
272
00:21:05,447 --> 00:21:08,348
Wonder where in the hell
they are, anyway.
273
00:21:10,319 --> 00:21:12,344
It'll make you feel lots better.
274
00:21:14,923 --> 00:21:18,188
- Light the son of a bitch.
- All right.
275
00:21:23,265 --> 00:21:25,233
I feel good.
276
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,267
All right, y'all, knock off
the grab-assing over there.
277
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:30,505
What's going on, Uncle Jesse?
278
00:21:30,672 --> 00:21:33,869
Guy come out of an antique shop
carrying a big grandfather's clock.
279
00:21:34,042 --> 00:21:36,033
Bumped into this drunk,
broke the clock.
280
00:21:36,211 --> 00:21:38,338
Guy said, "Why don't you watch
where you're going. "
281
00:21:38,513 --> 00:21:41,880
The drunk says, "Why don't you carry
a wristwatch like everybody else. "
282
00:21:43,285 --> 00:21:45,753
Know what happens
when you give a politician Viagra?
283
00:21:46,054 --> 00:21:47,646
- No.
- He gets taller.
284
00:21:48,857 --> 00:21:50,484
Here's another one for you.
285
00:21:50,659 --> 00:21:53,992
How many Dukes does it take
to screw up a moonshine delivery?
286
00:21:54,162 --> 00:21:56,653
Oh, yes, sorry about that,
Uncle Jesse. We...
287
00:22:03,438 --> 00:22:04,735
Is that Rosco?
288
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:07,804
Wonder what
that fat sack of shit wants.
289
00:22:08,543 --> 00:22:09,976
Come on.
290
00:22:11,513 --> 00:22:15,813
We can skip the "Hi, how are you's. "
I'm here on official police business.
291
00:22:15,984 --> 00:22:18,145
Right here, sheriff.
292
00:22:21,056 --> 00:22:22,887
Oh, that's horseshit.
You planted that.
293
00:22:27,896 --> 00:22:31,832
"By the power vested in me
by the County of Hazzard, Georgia...
294
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,093
...I hereby seize this property...
295
00:22:34,269 --> 00:22:37,864
...for the crime of producing
and distributing moonshine. "
296
00:22:39,274 --> 00:22:42,072
Now, Jesse,
we can do this the easy way...
297
00:22:42,244 --> 00:22:44,405
...or, of course...
298
00:22:46,782 --> 00:22:48,249
...there's that other way.
299
00:22:48,417 --> 00:22:51,352
- Let's try the that other way first.
- Now, hold on. Wait.
300
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,011
Only way I'm leaving this farm
is in a wooden box.
301
00:22:54,189 --> 00:22:56,089
Well...
302
00:22:57,092 --> 00:22:59,424
Hi, Dukes.
303
00:23:01,296 --> 00:23:02,786
Hi.
304
00:23:03,965 --> 00:23:05,296
Well, now.
305
00:23:06,301 --> 00:23:07,825
Lookie there.
306
00:23:08,503 --> 00:23:13,133
Moonshining.
What a shame, what a shame.
307
00:23:13,308 --> 00:23:16,471
- That ain't ours, Boss.
- Really?
308
00:23:16,645 --> 00:23:18,977
You're out of here.
309
00:23:19,147 --> 00:23:21,411
This land ain't yours anymore.
310
00:23:21,583 --> 00:23:23,608
You're gonna have to
live somewhere else...
311
00:23:23,785 --> 00:23:26,447
...and you're never gonna moonshine...
- Why, you prick!
312
00:23:26,621 --> 00:23:31,752
Watch out. I got my dog here,
and I ain't fed him, and he's real hungry.
313
00:23:32,427 --> 00:23:35,328
Easy, Jesse. Not now.
314
00:23:38,767 --> 00:23:41,861
You boys done started a fight
you can't win.
315
00:23:48,710 --> 00:23:52,510
Well, you have my sympathy.
Y'all take care, now.
316
00:23:57,919 --> 00:24:00,717
- Should've busted a cap in his ass.
- Hell, yeah.
317
00:24:00,889 --> 00:24:03,016
Hey, easy now, boys.
318
00:24:03,191 --> 00:24:06,217
Thanks for taking us in, Pauline.
We really appreciate it.
319
00:24:06,394 --> 00:24:08,191
Oh, honey, it is my pleasure.
320
00:24:08,363 --> 00:24:12,356
I left three toes in Korea for this country,
and this is the thanks I get.
321
00:24:12,534 --> 00:24:15,059
I don't understand how they
could just take your farm.
322
00:24:15,237 --> 00:24:17,137
They planted a still in our barn.
323
00:24:17,305 --> 00:24:22,038
They planted a still? Now,
why would they need to plant a still?
324
00:24:22,210 --> 00:24:25,236
Because they're too damn dumb
to find our real one.
325
00:24:25,514 --> 00:24:29,177
I was waiting on old Bill Miller
up at the truck stop last night.
326
00:24:29,351 --> 00:24:33,651
He said Boss' men seized his land
for some trumped-up charge too.
327
00:24:34,055 --> 00:24:38,014
Maybe it's got to do with all that
construction equipment up at the Millers'.
328
00:24:38,193 --> 00:24:40,627
You wanna go up there
and take a second look?
329
00:24:40,795 --> 00:24:42,729
Oh, I don't know, boys.
330
00:24:42,898 --> 00:24:44,422
Oh, now, Pauline.
331
00:24:46,635 --> 00:24:49,627
Don't worry, Uncle Jesse.
We're gonna take care of it.
332
00:24:50,238 --> 00:24:52,399
You know what's gonna happen,
don't you?
333
00:24:52,574 --> 00:24:55,600
Those two are gonna get themselves
in trouble, end up in jail...
334
00:24:55,777 --> 00:24:58,302
...and I'm gonna have to
shake my ass to get them out.
335
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:00,607
That's why we love you, honey.
336
00:25:04,786 --> 00:25:08,347
- Oh, goddamn it.
- Well, well, well.
337
00:25:09,658 --> 00:25:11,819
What the hell
do you think you're doing?
338
00:25:11,993 --> 00:25:14,621
What's it look like?
I'm building a doomsday machine...
339
00:25:14,796 --> 00:25:17,162
...gonna aim it right up
your heinie hole.
340
00:25:17,432 --> 00:25:19,662
You stupid enough to think
you can fix this?
341
00:25:19,834 --> 00:25:22,234
- I'm fixing to fix it.
- Oh, you fixing to fix it.
342
00:25:22,404 --> 00:25:25,373
You couldn't fix an election
if your brother was the governor.
343
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,631
What do you want, Rosco?
344
00:25:27,809 --> 00:25:32,940
This here vehicle, it was used in the
illegal transportation of moonshine.
345
00:25:33,114 --> 00:25:34,706
Boss wants it impounded.
346
00:25:34,883 --> 00:25:37,716
It ain't running right now,
and my tow truck ain't here...
347
00:25:37,886 --> 00:25:39,786
...so unless you stick it up your ass...
348
00:25:39,955 --> 00:25:42,480
Hey, one way or another,
grease monkey...
349
00:25:42,657 --> 00:25:45,649
...tomorrow I'm auctioning off
this hunk of junk.
350
00:25:45,827 --> 00:25:48,261
So y'all have a good night, now, okay?
351
00:25:51,499 --> 00:25:55,629
I got two words for you:
Soap and water.
352
00:25:57,005 --> 00:25:59,166
That's three words.
353
00:25:59,341 --> 00:26:01,138
Stupid.
354
00:26:08,350 --> 00:26:10,045
Hey, man, this is Cooter.
355
00:26:10,218 --> 00:26:13,745
Round up the fellas.
I got a job for them.
356
00:26:17,592 --> 00:26:19,822
Lot of equipment there
for an abandoned farm.
357
00:26:19,995 --> 00:26:23,431
Yeah, and that fence went up
pretty quick too, huh?
358
00:26:23,832 --> 00:26:26,824
- Let's go ditch the truck.
- All right.
359
00:26:52,060 --> 00:26:55,029
Well, ain't that cute,
a man taking his pig for a walk.
360
00:27:00,035 --> 00:27:01,434
Come on.
361
00:27:10,078 --> 00:27:11,875
What now?
362
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:20,254
Lookie here, Bo.
363
00:27:21,790 --> 00:27:25,590
He's got our farm marked, right next
to the Millers' and the Robinsons'.
364
00:27:26,928 --> 00:27:30,125
What the hell does he want
with all this land?
365
00:27:30,298 --> 00:27:32,425
I don't know.
366
00:27:33,635 --> 00:27:37,594
But I tell you what,
if I was incriminating information...
367
00:27:37,772 --> 00:27:40,935
...I'd be hiding in that big,
huge son of a bitch.
368
00:27:41,309 --> 00:27:44,472
- How are we supposed to open that?
- I don't know about you...
369
00:27:44,646 --> 00:27:47,410
... but I'd sure hate to be
that safe right now.
370
00:27:47,849 --> 00:27:49,578
Yeah!
371
00:28:03,164 --> 00:28:06,156
Holy shit.
372
00:28:16,945 --> 00:28:18,776
Hope they got e-mail.
373
00:28:31,659 --> 00:28:33,559
Oh, dear.
374
00:28:44,172 --> 00:28:46,140
What the hell?
375
00:28:50,078 --> 00:28:51,477
It's stuck on a pole.
376
00:28:51,846 --> 00:28:54,371
I'll check it.
377
00:29:07,228 --> 00:29:10,391
- Give it some gas!
- Okay!
378
00:29:16,471 --> 00:29:20,669
- Hey, give it a little more gas!
- Okay!
379
00:29:20,842 --> 00:29:24,073
- Hey, Bo, hold up!
- Okay!
380
00:29:24,446 --> 00:29:26,209
Hey! No, Bo! No!
381
00:29:26,381 --> 00:29:28,212
Okay!
382
00:29:30,351 --> 00:29:33,013
- Yeah!
- Bo!
383
00:29:34,756 --> 00:29:37,554
- No, Bo!
- Sorry, cuz.
384
00:29:37,725 --> 00:29:39,556
You'd do the same thing to me.
385
00:29:39,727 --> 00:29:41,558
Bo!
386
00:29:47,535 --> 00:29:49,503
Bo, damn it!
387
00:29:50,772 --> 00:29:52,706
Hold on, little buddy!
388
00:29:56,878 --> 00:29:58,937
Oh, shit!
389
00:30:06,054 --> 00:30:07,521
Bo, you son of a...
390
00:30:27,442 --> 00:30:31,503
I said, no, Bo. No!
391
00:30:34,048 --> 00:30:37,347
I thought you said, "Go, Bo. Go. "
392
00:30:37,519 --> 00:30:39,453
You see how that sounds kind of..?
393
00:30:43,358 --> 00:30:46,521
Hey, you know what?
Sheev lives near here.
394
00:30:46,694 --> 00:30:48,753
Maybe he can help us
open this thing up, huh?
395
00:30:49,697 --> 00:30:51,460
Yeah.
396
00:30:52,967 --> 00:30:55,561
Okay. We'll go to Sheev's.
397
00:31:04,512 --> 00:31:07,811
Rosco, this here's Chip.
398
00:31:07,982 --> 00:31:10,246
You might wanna call Hogg...
399
00:31:10,418 --> 00:31:15,185
...and tell him them two fellers,
they made off with his safe.
400
00:31:15,356 --> 00:31:18,484
And I might need a ride too.
401
00:31:23,498 --> 00:31:26,467
Boss, what kind of mood you in?
402
00:31:26,668 --> 00:31:29,831
I'm in a crawfish-boiling mood.
403
00:31:30,872 --> 00:31:35,309
Well, it seems that the Duke boys...
404
00:31:35,476 --> 00:31:37,967
...have stolen your safe.
405
00:31:42,984 --> 00:31:46,283
I am officially upgrading the Dukes...
406
00:31:46,454 --> 00:31:51,255
...from "fly in my ointment"
to "thorn in my side. "
407
00:31:51,426 --> 00:31:55,988
And if they happen to elevate
themselves to "pain in my ass"...
408
00:31:56,164 --> 00:32:01,192
...then I'm gonna boil you. Got it?
409
00:32:01,369 --> 00:32:03,701
- Yes, sir.
- Now...
410
00:32:03,871 --> 00:32:07,864
...I want you to find the Dukes
and lock them up.
411
00:32:08,042 --> 00:32:12,479
Oh, and bring me my damn safe back.
412
00:32:12,647 --> 00:32:14,444
Yes, sir.
413
00:32:19,287 --> 00:32:20,584
Flash.
414
00:32:33,001 --> 00:32:34,593
Evening, Sheev.
415
00:32:37,171 --> 00:32:38,798
Sheev.
416
00:32:47,582 --> 00:32:51,382
I'm looking for them Duke boys.
You seen them?
417
00:32:53,688 --> 00:32:56,816
They was last seen
heading up this road here.
418
00:32:58,626 --> 00:33:02,153
You still got them CIA mind probes
stuck in your head, boy?
419
00:33:02,330 --> 00:33:04,924
Far as I know.
420
00:33:05,099 --> 00:33:08,068
Good.
Keep your little antennae up there...
421
00:33:08,236 --> 00:33:11,865
...in case you see the Dukes,
you let me know, you hear?
422
00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:13,632
Yeah.
423
00:33:16,611 --> 00:33:18,909
Stinks out here, you know that?
424
00:33:31,159 --> 00:33:33,184
- Is he gone, Sheev?
- He's gone.
425
00:33:42,570 --> 00:33:44,697
- Prickett, Prickett.
- It means a lot to me...
426
00:33:44,872 --> 00:33:46,999
... to be invited here
back to my hometown.
427
00:33:47,175 --> 00:33:49,336
I hope to remind
the good people of Hazzard...
428
00:33:49,510 --> 00:33:53,276
- ... what it feels like to be proud again.
- We love you, Billy!
429
00:33:53,648 --> 00:33:57,584
And I hope to remind the good people
of Hazzard to come out to the rally...
430
00:33:57,752 --> 00:34:00,243
... and cheer their favorite son,
Billy Prickett!
431
00:34:02,657 --> 00:34:05,251
And I'm declaring today
Billy Prickett Day.
432
00:34:07,095 --> 00:34:09,359
You're too kind.
I just hope, come Saturday...
433
00:34:09,530 --> 00:34:12,090
... I'm not too hazardous on the roads.
434
00:34:13,501 --> 00:34:15,401
"Hazardous on the roads. "
435
00:34:15,737 --> 00:34:18,297
- This one's for you!
- This is Tammy Arinder...
436
00:34:18,473 --> 00:34:20,941
... at the parade, for WCNU News.
437
00:34:21,109 --> 00:34:23,270
Seeing Billy Prickett race in person?
438
00:34:23,444 --> 00:34:26,174
That might be worth
putting my pants on for.
439
00:34:26,347 --> 00:34:29,316
- Bo, you racing on Saturday?
- I'm planning on it.
440
00:34:29,584 --> 00:34:31,711
What's the prize for second place?
441
00:34:33,488 --> 00:34:35,251
Gonna be good.
Tough one, good luck.
442
00:34:35,423 --> 00:34:38,051
It's a little weird
he's coming back here to race.
443
00:34:38,226 --> 00:34:42,322
Life's weird, Luke. Someday
you're gonna have to accept that.
444
00:34:45,333 --> 00:34:48,666
Well, okay.
Let's take a look at that lockbox.
445
00:34:50,238 --> 00:34:52,763
Oh, yeah. Liberty 400.
446
00:34:53,241 --> 00:34:56,267
High-density,
9200-psi composite material.
447
00:34:56,444 --> 00:34:58,776
Two-inch chrome bolts,
vertical and horizontal.
448
00:34:58,946 --> 00:35:02,712
And a spring-loaded, independent
relocking device, with a foreign body.
449
00:35:02,884 --> 00:35:06,251
- She's a beauty.
- Can you crack it?
450
00:35:06,420 --> 00:35:08,888
I'm gonna do more than crack it.
451
00:35:09,891 --> 00:35:12,052
Goddamn it.
452
00:35:16,597 --> 00:35:20,727
Armadillo. They've been infiltrating
my perimeter all summer.
453
00:35:20,902 --> 00:35:24,360
- The hell you do with them?
- I make helmets.
454
00:35:24,539 --> 00:35:28,407
Armadillo helmets can block
even the best brain-wave scanners.
455
00:35:28,576 --> 00:35:30,737
Make a pretty good soup bowl too.
456
00:35:30,912 --> 00:35:33,745
So okay. I'm gonna
go to work on this thing.
457
00:35:33,915 --> 00:35:37,749
While I do, would you be a dear, Bo,
and go grab me that armadillo?
458
00:35:40,855 --> 00:35:42,686
Thanks.
459
00:35:44,091 --> 00:35:46,184
Man, he looks pissed off.
460
00:35:48,095 --> 00:35:51,292
Come on, y'all! That was a good one.
461
00:35:51,732 --> 00:35:54,496
All right, maybe you could
take it off now.
462
00:35:54,802 --> 00:35:57,532
Got a real nice deal on this stuff.
Government issue.
463
00:35:57,705 --> 00:36:01,266
Only expired about six months ago,
so should have a real nice pop.
464
00:36:02,243 --> 00:36:04,803
Yeah! Cooter's got
the General running.
465
00:36:05,513 --> 00:36:08,778
- Might be able to race on Saturday.
- Really?
466
00:36:08,950 --> 00:36:12,181
We gotta get it out of there tonight.
Rosco wants to impound it.
467
00:36:12,353 --> 00:36:14,378
Watch your ass, fellas.
468
00:36:20,995 --> 00:36:23,429
This is the fastest-burning
fuse you got, Sheev?
469
00:36:23,598 --> 00:36:25,361
It's a Chinese fuse.
470
00:36:38,312 --> 00:36:40,576
- Might be a wet fuse.
- Well, should we check it?
471
00:36:40,748 --> 00:36:43,581
Depends if you like how your face
is configured, pretty boy.
472
00:36:43,751 --> 00:36:45,446
I think you got the wires backwards.
473
00:36:45,620 --> 00:36:48,020
They're supposed to be.
It's a Chinese fuse.
474
00:36:48,189 --> 00:36:50,384
No, backwards from how
they're supposed to be.
475
00:36:50,558 --> 00:36:53,152
You ever been to China?
Have you ever been to China?
476
00:36:53,327 --> 00:36:54,760
I ate Chinese food once.
477
00:36:54,929 --> 00:36:57,454
Well, you don't blow up
mu shu pork, my friend.
478
00:36:57,632 --> 00:36:59,156
I dated a Korean girl in school.
479
00:36:59,333 --> 00:37:01,893
That is a different Oriental nation.
Get an education.
480
00:37:02,069 --> 00:37:04,503
- You got the fuse wrong.
- You know nothing about...
481
00:37:04,672 --> 00:37:07,300
...Chino-Sino-American relations.
- You're missing the point.
482
00:37:18,953 --> 00:37:20,853
Might've used too much.
483
00:37:24,659 --> 00:37:27,093
Man, that rattled my sphincter.
484
00:37:31,098 --> 00:37:34,033
What the hell is that? Drugs?
485
00:37:34,201 --> 00:37:35,896
Don't look like no drugs I ever saw.
486
00:37:36,237 --> 00:37:40,196
- What the hell are these numbers?
- It's a core sample.
487
00:37:40,541 --> 00:37:44,944
Mining. They drill a hole, take a sample,
send it to the lab, see what they got.
488
00:37:45,112 --> 00:37:47,171
- Core samples of what?
- How should I know?
489
00:37:47,348 --> 00:37:51,182
Am I wearing a white coat here?
I cut bait and blow shit up for a living.
490
00:37:51,352 --> 00:37:55,345
- Take it to a lab.
- I don't know, maybe at the university?
491
00:37:55,523 --> 00:37:59,357
- Katie-Lynn Johnson's at the university.
- Oh, yeah, that's right.
492
00:37:59,527 --> 00:38:02,325
Man, I always had a thing for that girl.
493
00:38:02,496 --> 00:38:05,863
Remember she used to come by
the farm with those tight little outfits?
494
00:38:06,033 --> 00:38:09,696
- No, I can't say I remember that.
- I thought I had her too.
495
00:38:09,870 --> 00:38:13,772
Then she pulled a goddamn Keyser Soze
on me, and like that...
496
00:38:13,941 --> 00:38:15,533
...she was gone.
497
00:38:15,710 --> 00:38:17,871
You don't remember that?
498
00:38:18,045 --> 00:38:19,410
Well, okay.
499
00:38:19,580 --> 00:38:23,277
Unless you need something else blown,
I'll go inside and wash my mongoose.
500
00:38:26,487 --> 00:38:28,250
Okay.
501
00:38:29,223 --> 00:38:31,691
Come on, Luke. Let's get the General.
502
00:38:31,959 --> 00:38:34,223
Why don't we have Cooter stash that.
503
00:38:34,395 --> 00:38:36,454
We'll take his truck,
head to the highway...
504
00:38:36,630 --> 00:38:41,090
How would you feel if the General and I
went to Atlanta and left you behind?
505
00:39:08,529 --> 00:39:10,156
Ain't she a Georgia peach?
506
00:39:10,331 --> 00:39:12,492
What'd you do,
make a deal with the devil?
507
00:39:12,867 --> 00:39:15,700
Luke. Luke. Is that a Hemi?
508
00:39:17,938 --> 00:39:20,907
Me and my buddies lose the Gettysburg
reenactment every other Sunday.
509
00:39:21,075 --> 00:39:23,236
So we figured,
why not let General Lee win one?
510
00:39:23,711 --> 00:39:26,305
I don't know how
we're gonna pay you back, Cooter.
511
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:30,109
Would a BJ from Daisy be within
the realm of possibility?
512
00:39:30,284 --> 00:39:32,184
Not gonna happen.
513
00:39:32,353 --> 00:39:35,186
How about a pair
of her still-warm shorts?
514
00:39:35,356 --> 00:39:36,721
All right.
515
00:39:36,891 --> 00:39:40,554
Hey, Bo, just win that Hazzard Rally.
That's thanks enough.
516
00:39:40,728 --> 00:39:44,858
And when you get that prize money, you
pay me, because that's how it works.
517
00:39:45,032 --> 00:39:47,262
I love you, Cooter.
518
00:39:49,236 --> 00:39:51,830
- I didn't have time to fix everything.
- Right.
519
00:39:54,542 --> 00:39:56,510
Let's get that car.
520
00:40:23,404 --> 00:40:26,567
Get in your cars and get them!
Get after them! Now!
521
00:40:26,740 --> 00:40:28,833
Cooter!
522
00:40:34,482 --> 00:40:36,347
All right.
523
00:40:37,885 --> 00:40:40,581
That's so good, man.
524
00:40:43,224 --> 00:40:45,124
Enough.
525
00:40:45,292 --> 00:40:49,251
Man, I'm never gonna get out
of this car again. I'm gonna live in it.
526
00:40:49,430 --> 00:40:52,228
I'm gonna eat in it.
And I'm gonna make sweet love to it.
527
00:40:52,700 --> 00:40:54,668
You mean you gonna make
sweet love in it.
528
00:40:54,835 --> 00:40:56,427
Oh, no, I wanna fuck it.
529
00:40:56,604 --> 00:40:59,334
All units, we are in hot pursuit
of them Duke boys...
530
00:40:59,507 --> 00:41:02,943
...in their piece-of-shit orange car.
531
00:41:05,679 --> 00:41:07,442
"Piece of... " You son of a bitch.
532
00:41:26,467 --> 00:41:28,094
Hey! Get back here!
533
00:41:28,335 --> 00:41:31,202
- Lost Sheep, you out there?
- Hey, Cooter.
534
00:41:31,372 --> 00:41:34,808
These fellas ain't gonna be
doing much chasing.
535
00:41:34,975 --> 00:41:38,035
- Thanks, man.
- I'm gonna run right over Billy Prickett.
536
00:41:38,212 --> 00:41:39,907
How about we go to Atlanta first?
537
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,605
All right, cuz.
538
00:41:44,919 --> 00:41:48,946
Oh, look at that.
There's your problem right there.
539
00:41:49,123 --> 00:41:50,488
Yeah, that's a shame.
540
00:41:52,626 --> 00:41:55,094
Let's go to Atlanta.
541
00:42:04,939 --> 00:42:06,907
Luke.
542
00:42:07,074 --> 00:42:08,803
Luke.
543
00:42:10,244 --> 00:42:15,181
I know why it didn't work out with
me and Katie before. It was just timing.
544
00:42:15,349 --> 00:42:17,977
Life is all about timing, you know?
545
00:42:18,285 --> 00:42:21,812
It's my time now.
I'm gonna win that race on Saturday.
546
00:42:21,989 --> 00:42:25,720
We're gonna get the farm back.
I got my BFF, you.
547
00:42:26,694 --> 00:42:29,527
And I'm gonna get Katie Johnson,
you watch.
548
00:42:33,901 --> 00:42:36,028
It's my time.
549
00:42:37,404 --> 00:42:40,771
What's going on?
550
00:42:43,544 --> 00:42:48,277
Yeah, baby!
Southern by the grace of God!
551
00:42:51,719 --> 00:42:54,279
Well, at least we know
they're nice up here.
552
00:42:54,521 --> 00:42:58,082
Hurry up, you're late
for your Klan meeting, asshole.
553
00:42:58,259 --> 00:43:00,819
- Klan meeting?
- Don't listen to her.
554
00:43:00,995 --> 00:43:04,396
The South will rise again.
555
00:43:04,565 --> 00:43:06,829
Yee-haw, brother!
556
00:43:07,001 --> 00:43:09,060
What the hell's wrong
with these people?
557
00:43:09,236 --> 00:43:12,433
Nice roof, redneck.
Join us in the 21st century?
558
00:43:20,881 --> 00:43:23,645
We're gonna make
some friends up here, huh?
559
00:43:32,860 --> 00:43:35,488
Oh, excuse me.
Can I help you, ma'am?
560
00:43:35,663 --> 00:43:37,494
Daisy! Oh, boy.
561
00:43:37,665 --> 00:43:40,065
Enos, what's Boss doing
taking all that land?
562
00:43:40,234 --> 00:43:44,432
I don't know. They won't tell me. You
gotta go. I'm supposed to arrest you.
563
00:43:44,605 --> 00:43:47,301
- Come on, I'm serious.
- Get. Get out of here.
564
00:43:47,474 --> 00:43:50,637
Hey. You Anus?
565
00:43:51,211 --> 00:43:53,179
No, that's Enos, Mr. Prickett.
566
00:43:54,915 --> 00:43:58,248
Sorry about that. Is Hogg around?
He asked me to come by.
567
00:43:58,419 --> 00:44:02,879
Oh, yeah. He's out back
in the garage, Mr. Prickett.
568
00:44:04,291 --> 00:44:06,555
Well, howdy, ma'am.
How are you today?
569
00:44:06,727 --> 00:44:09,093
It's just right on out back there.
I'll show you.
570
00:44:09,263 --> 00:44:12,198
Yep, head out that way.
571
00:44:15,202 --> 00:44:17,363
There you go.
572
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:21,340
There he is.
573
00:44:21,508 --> 00:44:23,476
- Hometown hero.
- Hogg.
574
00:44:23,644 --> 00:44:25,339
- How you doing, son?
- Well...
575
00:44:25,512 --> 00:44:28,777
...this is a great place to crap,
but I'm ready to head to Atlanta.
576
00:44:28,949 --> 00:44:30,348
Not before the race.
577
00:44:30,684 --> 00:44:32,845
Don't you worry about that.
578
00:44:33,020 --> 00:44:36,421
I want you down at that finish line.
Sign autographs for the kids.
579
00:44:36,590 --> 00:44:38,524
- Yeah, I know the drill.
- I know you do.
580
00:44:38,692 --> 00:44:41,684
But I need you there for two hours, son.
Two hours.
581
00:44:41,862 --> 00:44:43,989
Kissing hands and shaking babies.
582
00:44:44,164 --> 00:44:47,827
You got that backwards.
It's shaking hands and kiss the babies.
583
00:44:48,001 --> 00:44:51,960
Oh, yeah? Maybe that's why I lost
that governor's election in '86.
584
00:44:56,677 --> 00:44:58,770
Hogg, what the hell am I doing here?
585
00:44:58,946 --> 00:45:00,914
Rosco.
586
00:45:03,984 --> 00:45:06,748
Whoa, what is this?
You off the reservation?
587
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:09,684
See how it kind of catches me
around the eyes there?
588
00:45:09,857 --> 00:45:13,156
Look here, I already got sponsors.
589
00:45:13,327 --> 00:45:16,125
What am I supposed
to tell Castrol, Yahoo!?
590
00:45:16,296 --> 00:45:18,730
Tell them it's for charity.
591
00:45:18,899 --> 00:45:21,163
- Is it?
- Sure. Could be.
592
00:45:22,469 --> 00:45:26,098
Whatever you say.
I'm gonna win that race by a mile.
593
00:45:26,273 --> 00:45:28,833
It don't matter whose face
is on my car when I do.
594
00:45:29,009 --> 00:45:34,242
I don't need you to win the race.
I just need you to show up.
595
00:45:47,361 --> 00:45:49,795
Hey there, Mr. Prickett.
596
00:45:49,963 --> 00:45:52,397
Well, hello, Daisy.
597
00:45:52,566 --> 00:45:57,697
I was just walking by, and I saw your car
in the garage there. She's real sexy.
598
00:45:57,871 --> 00:46:01,204
Well, thank you.
She's faster than a cheetah on cocaine.
599
00:46:01,375 --> 00:46:03,138
Yeah, I know.
600
00:46:03,310 --> 00:46:06,040
Why is there a picture of Boss Hogg
on your car, though?
601
00:46:06,213 --> 00:46:08,340
- Yeah, well, he...
- I read somewhere...
602
00:46:08,515 --> 00:46:14,215
...that Coca-Cola pays you over
$ 100,000 to put their logo on your door.
603
00:46:14,388 --> 00:46:16,117
- You read that?
- That same article...
604
00:46:16,290 --> 00:46:19,123
...mentioned that Budweiser
pays you over $ 100,000...
605
00:46:19,293 --> 00:46:21,921
...to put their logo on your trunk.
- Look, Daisy...
606
00:46:22,095 --> 00:46:24,996
...I'm not much of a reader.
- Boss Hogg's face is sitting...
607
00:46:25,165 --> 00:46:28,828
...on over $200,000 worth
of real estate.
608
00:46:29,136 --> 00:46:30,535
Is that what he's paying you?
609
00:46:30,704 --> 00:46:35,334
Oh, no, no, Daisy,
this race here is for charity.
610
00:46:35,509 --> 00:46:37,500
Really? Which one?
611
00:46:39,346 --> 00:46:40,870
Anal bifida.
612
00:46:41,048 --> 00:46:42,709
Spinal bifida.
613
00:46:43,050 --> 00:46:44,608
It's one of the bifidas.
614
00:46:46,720 --> 00:46:50,554
Have I told you that you're as purty
as a Hazzard County sunset?
615
00:46:50,724 --> 00:46:53,955
Have a good day, Mr. Prickett.
616
00:46:54,127 --> 00:46:56,493
Okay.
617
00:47:14,181 --> 00:47:16,672
Lot of smart people out there.
618
00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:42,001
Look out, Katie.
619
00:47:45,379 --> 00:47:47,574
Hello. Hi.
620
00:47:47,915 --> 00:47:49,405
- Hello.
- Hello.
621
00:47:49,583 --> 00:47:52,711
- Oh, boy.
- Hi.
622
00:47:53,720 --> 00:47:57,747
You don't think it's too late
to take them SATs, do you?
623
00:48:01,895 --> 00:48:04,523
You gotta keep an open mind
in college.
624
00:48:06,266 --> 00:48:09,531
This is it, Luke. I can feel it.
625
00:48:09,703 --> 00:48:12,263
Hey, do you know
where Katie Johnson is?
626
00:48:12,439 --> 00:48:14,304
I think she's in that room right there.
627
00:48:14,474 --> 00:48:16,465
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
628
00:48:19,279 --> 00:48:21,770
- I got a great opening line for Katie.
- What is it?
629
00:48:21,949 --> 00:48:23,712
You'll see.
630
00:48:23,884 --> 00:48:26,751
- Katie Johnson?
- She's down the hall.
631
00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:30,447
- Cool.
- Come on, down the hall.
632
00:48:33,193 --> 00:48:35,320
Katie Johnson?
633
00:48:35,495 --> 00:48:38,760
- She's down the hall.
- Do you guys go to school here?
634
00:48:39,766 --> 00:48:41,961
No, but do you have an application?
635
00:48:42,502 --> 00:48:43,901
Not on me.
636
00:48:45,739 --> 00:48:48,105
Come on, now, focus.
637
00:48:53,447 --> 00:48:55,347
Let's hope she's not in here either.
638
00:48:55,515 --> 00:48:58,313
- Katie Johnson?
- Fuck me running!
639
00:48:58,819 --> 00:49:01,720
- You looking for Katie?
- We were.
640
00:49:02,089 --> 00:49:04,922
- You guys Hacky?
- Hacky!
641
00:49:05,092 --> 00:49:08,220
- What about Katie?
- Maybe she's in here.
642
00:49:15,268 --> 00:49:17,793
Goodbye, Bo. Bye, Luke.
643
00:49:18,170 --> 00:49:20,001
I guess she wasn't in there.
644
00:49:20,172 --> 00:49:22,766
- We didn't check under the couch.
- Luke! Bo!
645
00:49:22,942 --> 00:49:25,069
- Katie.
- Katie-Lynn.
646
00:49:29,482 --> 00:49:31,609
So he's still doing that?
647
00:49:33,152 --> 00:49:36,019
- Did I just faint?
- No.
648
00:49:36,188 --> 00:49:38,452
Oh, my God. I can't believe y'all came.
649
00:49:39,492 --> 00:49:42,427
We just wanna pay you visit,
the prettiest girl in Atlanta.
650
00:49:42,795 --> 00:49:44,626
What?
651
00:49:44,797 --> 00:49:48,289
We just wanna pay a visit
to the prettiest girl in Atlanta.
652
00:49:48,467 --> 00:49:51,527
That's sweet. I can't believe
what happened to y'all's farm.
653
00:49:51,704 --> 00:49:53,296
We're gonna get it back.
654
00:49:53,472 --> 00:49:56,305
I love that farm.
I used to have so much fun there.
655
00:49:56,909 --> 00:49:58,604
- See?
- This is my roommate, Annette.
656
00:49:58,778 --> 00:50:01,303
- Annette, this is Bo and Luke.
- Nice to meet you.
657
00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:04,711
- Ma'am.
- Annette's from Australia.
658
00:50:05,017 --> 00:50:08,248
Let's put another shrimp
on the barbie!
659
00:50:11,490 --> 00:50:13,822
- That's what they say there.
- Okay.
660
00:50:13,993 --> 00:50:15,961
What do y'all need
in the geology lab?
661
00:50:16,128 --> 00:50:18,824
It has something to do
with them taking our farm...
662
00:50:18,998 --> 00:50:21,626
...but we don't know
what the hell it is.
663
00:50:23,169 --> 00:50:26,002
I don't know that they'll let y'all in,
but we'll take you.
664
00:50:26,172 --> 00:50:29,437
- We'll get dressed. Y'all wait downstairs.
- We're gonna wait here.
665
00:50:29,609 --> 00:50:31,804
Downstairs is fine.
666
00:50:35,414 --> 00:50:38,406
It's happening, Luke.
It's all happening.
667
00:50:47,193 --> 00:50:48,956
I'll give you that, Jesse.
668
00:50:49,128 --> 00:50:52,154
- I'll give you that.
- Will you now?
669
00:50:53,265 --> 00:50:56,098
What are you doing with my land,
Jefferson?
670
00:50:56,869 --> 00:50:58,928
Ain't your land anymore.
671
00:50:59,472 --> 00:51:02,839
Wasn't that long ago you was
a moonshiner too. Remember?
672
00:51:03,009 --> 00:51:04,909
Well, I have reformed from my sins.
673
00:51:05,077 --> 00:51:07,602
I am now an honest businessman.
674
00:51:07,780 --> 00:51:09,509
Like sponsoring racecars?
675
00:51:09,715 --> 00:51:12,912
What are you getting out of bringing
Billy Prickett down here?
676
00:51:14,587 --> 00:51:18,580
You know, your nephew's won that race
four years in a row.
677
00:51:18,758 --> 00:51:22,421
Now, who's gonna fault me
for breaking up a dynasty?
678
00:51:22,595 --> 00:51:24,688
Well, I know you're rich,
and I know you stink.
679
00:51:24,864 --> 00:51:26,695
But you ain't stinking rich.
680
00:51:26,866 --> 00:51:29,130
You wouldn't be throwing
that money at Prickett...
681
00:51:29,301 --> 00:51:31,963
...unless you thought he was
gonna earn you 10 times that.
682
00:51:32,138 --> 00:51:36,939
You're a smart man.
So why don't you do the smart thing.
683
00:51:37,109 --> 00:51:40,135
Why don't you take your family
and leave.
684
00:51:40,312 --> 00:51:43,907
Because, see, now I own that farm.
685
00:51:44,083 --> 00:51:47,541
And you ain't never gonna get it back.
686
00:51:59,265 --> 00:52:02,166
I have all the cards, Jesse.
687
00:52:02,334 --> 00:52:04,029
You don't have spit.
688
00:52:04,503 --> 00:52:06,596
It ain't over yet.
689
00:52:11,377 --> 00:52:14,471
Hey, Bo, I love your car.
She really rumbles.
690
00:52:14,747 --> 00:52:17,477
It's actually a he. Right, Katie?
691
00:52:24,390 --> 00:52:25,982
I ain't even speeding.
692
00:52:43,943 --> 00:52:46,241
You know how fast you were going?
693
00:52:46,412 --> 00:52:51,213
- What?
- How fast you were going.
694
00:52:52,118 --> 00:52:54,951
- I don't know. Ten?
- Eight.
695
00:52:55,121 --> 00:53:00,149
- Isn't the speed limit 10?
- Yeah. It is.
696
00:53:00,626 --> 00:53:03,117
You guys police?
697
00:53:03,295 --> 00:53:04,922
Campus police.
698
00:53:11,570 --> 00:53:13,595
Mother of God.
699
00:53:22,581 --> 00:53:24,105
Oh, wait.
700
00:53:34,593 --> 00:53:38,620
I know it's a shame to hide your beauty
like this, but it's for your own good.
701
00:53:38,798 --> 00:53:40,197
What?
702
00:53:40,766 --> 00:53:43,064
I'm not even gonna respond to that.
That's crazy.
703
00:53:43,369 --> 00:53:47,203
I know, I'll miss you too.
I'll be right back.
704
00:53:47,773 --> 00:53:50,606
All right, let's go. Let's go.
705
00:53:56,148 --> 00:54:00,482
Katie-Lynn seems like a girl you could
settle down with, don't you think, Luke?
706
00:54:00,653 --> 00:54:02,416
- Yeah.
- I don't know, fellas.
707
00:54:02,588 --> 00:54:04,852
I don't think they're gonna
let us walk in.
708
00:54:05,024 --> 00:54:09,688
You'll think of something, Katie.
You always do. Remember that..?
709
00:54:09,862 --> 00:54:12,490
Oh, you're so pretty.
710
00:54:24,243 --> 00:54:26,768
I have an idea.
711
00:54:33,752 --> 00:54:37,153
- Can I help you?
- You're just the guy we're looking for...
712
00:54:37,323 --> 00:54:39,052
- Royce.
- Royce..?
713
00:54:39,225 --> 00:54:42,956
- Royce Williams.
- Royce Williams, maybe you can help us.
714
00:54:43,128 --> 00:54:48,259
We're here looking for the brightest
young geologists for high-paying jobs.
715
00:54:48,434 --> 00:54:49,924
Maybe you've been by our booth.
716
00:54:50,102 --> 00:54:53,435
- You're from Kamasaka Technologies?
- That's right.
717
00:54:53,606 --> 00:54:57,440
I'm Mr. Ichinowa,
and this is my colleague...
718
00:54:57,610 --> 00:54:59,100
...Yoko Takanoshi.
719
00:55:00,713 --> 00:55:02,044
Right on.
720
00:55:02,848 --> 00:55:04,645
You said you were Japanese?
721
00:55:05,217 --> 00:55:06,445
We converted.
722
00:55:08,087 --> 00:55:11,579
Your professor tells us you're some
kind of super-genius or something.
723
00:55:11,757 --> 00:55:15,955
- Really? On my last test I got a C-minus.
- Hey, that's good.
724
00:55:16,128 --> 00:55:19,188
- That's real good.
- You think..?
725
00:55:19,365 --> 00:55:21,663
You just might be
Kamasaka Tech material.
726
00:55:22,268 --> 00:55:24,600
You just gotta pass this one little test.
727
00:55:24,770 --> 00:55:28,570
You just tell us what this is right here.
728
00:55:28,807 --> 00:55:31,071
Looks like a core sample.
729
00:55:31,243 --> 00:55:34,371
- Man, that's good.
- He's good.
730
00:55:34,546 --> 00:55:38,141
- Core sample of what?
- Oh, of course.
731
00:55:54,767 --> 00:55:57,565
- What are you doing?
- What?
732
00:55:57,736 --> 00:56:01,900
- What the fuck was that?
- Relax.
733
00:56:11,317 --> 00:56:13,114
Damn! Damn!
734
00:56:13,585 --> 00:56:15,280
These are my good Levi's.
735
00:56:15,454 --> 00:56:17,547
Let's not lose focus here, Royce.
736
00:56:17,723 --> 00:56:19,281
Yes, sir, Mr. Takanoshi.
737
00:56:19,458 --> 00:56:22,086
- What'd you call me?
- Mr. Takanoshi?
738
00:56:22,695 --> 00:56:25,823
Right. That's my name.
739
00:56:27,132 --> 00:56:31,034
- Thought it might be drugs or something.
- I think I know what it is.
740
00:56:43,649 --> 00:56:46,117
Are you really with
Kamasaka Technologies?
741
00:56:46,285 --> 00:56:49,049
Damn it, we are high-powered
Japanese executives.
742
00:56:49,221 --> 00:56:51,849
We work hard,
and we play even harder.
743
00:56:52,024 --> 00:56:53,719
Now, tell us what you see there...
744
00:56:53,892 --> 00:56:56,918
...or we'll go find another candidate
at Georgia Polytech.
745
00:56:57,096 --> 00:56:59,963
It's anthracite.
746
00:57:00,499 --> 00:57:03,798
- Coal.
- Coal in Hazzard?
747
00:57:03,969 --> 00:57:07,166
- What's the street value of this?
- This much? Nothing.
748
00:57:07,339 --> 00:57:09,773
A good-sized mine? Could be millions.
749
00:57:10,175 --> 00:57:12,666
Can you show us what
a good-sized mine looks like?
750
00:57:12,845 --> 00:57:14,938
Yeah.
751
00:57:17,850 --> 00:57:21,342
Here's what it used to look like.
And this is the after.
752
00:57:26,058 --> 00:57:28,185
Damn.
753
00:57:28,594 --> 00:57:32,496
- Hogg's gonna do this to Hazzard?
- The hell he is.
754
00:57:32,731 --> 00:57:35,632
Mr. Kamasaka? We have to go.
The plane is leaving.
755
00:57:35,801 --> 00:57:39,794
Congratulations, Royce. You got the job.
How does 24,000 yen a year sound?
756
00:57:40,139 --> 00:57:42,004
Sounds like 40 bucks.
757
00:57:42,174 --> 00:57:43,505
Way to go.
758
00:57:43,675 --> 00:57:47,076
All right, man. See you in Beijing.
759
00:57:51,050 --> 00:57:54,952
- You see two guys come through here?
- You mean those two Japanese guys?
760
00:58:14,106 --> 00:58:16,700
Get me Atlanta P.D. Damn.
761
00:58:16,875 --> 00:58:18,103
Strip-mining?
762
00:58:18,377 --> 00:58:19,776
Why, that slimy bastard.
763
00:58:20,212 --> 00:58:21,702
Here's another little nugget.
764
00:58:21,880 --> 00:58:24,974
Hogg has been paying
that kid Prickett a lot of money...
765
00:58:25,150 --> 00:58:27,482
...to race here Saturday.
- He's paying him?
766
00:58:28,020 --> 00:58:31,251
Y'all better get your asses back here
quick as you can, got it?
767
00:58:31,423 --> 00:58:33,823
Ten-four, Shepherd,
this is Lost Sheep out.
768
00:58:35,594 --> 00:58:38,290
What's this? What's these crackers
doing in our place?
769
00:58:38,464 --> 00:58:42,093
Turns out Prickett came back because
Hogg paid him a assload of cash.
770
00:58:42,401 --> 00:58:45,302
Don't mean Billy has anything
to do with strip-mining.
771
00:58:45,471 --> 00:58:47,166
You got to be kidding me.
772
00:58:47,873 --> 00:58:49,773
Oh, shit. Roll them up.
773
00:58:50,609 --> 00:58:53,510
- What the hell is this, man?
- Looks like somebody's lost.
774
00:58:53,679 --> 00:58:57,115
Look, a couple of white boys playing
black. Is that's what's going on?
775
00:58:57,282 --> 00:59:00,809
Actually, we were at the geology lab
for some environmental stuff, and...
776
00:59:00,986 --> 00:59:05,980
No, I get it. They on one of these
reality shows.
777
00:59:06,158 --> 00:59:09,059
- Who Wanna Get They Ass Kicked?
- Yeah.
778
00:59:09,795 --> 00:59:13,788
Why don't you two hillbillies
join us up here for a minute?
779
00:59:13,966 --> 00:59:15,991
Actually, we prefer
Appalachian-Americans.
780
00:59:16,168 --> 00:59:17,795
Man, get out the car!
781
00:59:19,972 --> 00:59:23,703
Now, which one of you two
brothers is Michelangelo?
782
00:59:25,210 --> 00:59:29,772
There's a certain creek that people
sometimes canoe up without a paddle.
783
00:59:29,948 --> 00:59:34,612
You could say that the Duke boys
were on that particular creek right now.
784
00:59:34,786 --> 00:59:37,118
Let's kick they ass, Jerry!
785
00:59:38,790 --> 00:59:41,588
Never thought I'd say this,
but, hot damn, it's the cops.
786
00:59:43,529 --> 00:59:44,962
There goes the canoe.
787
00:59:50,068 --> 00:59:52,127
- Give me your shoelaces.
- What?
788
00:59:52,304 --> 00:59:56,707
These guys over there gave me theirs.
See, I'm gonna fashion myself a lasso.
789
00:59:56,875 --> 01:00:00,504
When the jailer comes in,
I'm gonna rope his keys.
790
01:00:00,679 --> 01:00:04,740
Luke and Bo Duke are home free.
Period, end of story.
791
01:00:04,917 --> 01:00:08,011
I got on cowboy boots, cuz.
792
01:00:08,187 --> 01:00:10,985
I like your style.
793
01:00:11,156 --> 01:00:13,056
You gonna need those shoelaces?
794
01:00:13,225 --> 01:00:16,194
We gonna have to get out of here.
795
01:00:16,461 --> 01:00:20,795
Hey, Yul Brynner. We gotta make
a phone call. We gotta call our lawyer.
796
01:00:20,966 --> 01:00:22,593
What the hell are we in here for?
797
01:00:22,901 --> 01:00:27,395
Well, where should I start?
798
01:00:33,445 --> 01:00:35,413
We know you're gonna
strip-mine Hazzard.
799
01:00:35,581 --> 01:00:39,017
Do you, now? Well, that's good.
800
01:00:39,184 --> 01:00:41,516
Guess where I'm gonna sink
that first drill.
801
01:00:41,687 --> 01:00:44,349
Right down in the middle
of your bedroom.
802
01:00:44,523 --> 01:00:48,357
Y'all do still share a bunk bed, right?
803
01:00:48,527 --> 01:00:51,724
Hey, that's a phat suit there.
What, you some type of pimp?
804
01:00:54,333 --> 01:00:59,168
What has strip-mining got to do with you
paying Billy Prickett to race tomorrow?
805
01:00:59,538 --> 01:01:02,336
You like magic, Luke? Sleight of hand?
806
01:01:02,507 --> 01:01:08,673
See, while you're looking over here,
something's really happening over here.
807
01:01:08,847 --> 01:01:14,251
You see, despite the fact
that I now own your beloved farm...
808
01:01:14,419 --> 01:01:19,186
...I can't legally mine it,
because the county won't let me.
809
01:01:19,358 --> 01:01:21,758
I need to hold a public hearing,
you know...
810
01:01:21,927 --> 01:01:27,490
...to give the citizens of Hazzard
a chance to object.
811
01:01:28,166 --> 01:01:32,068
And let me guess, you're going to hold
the hearing during the rally tomorrow?
812
01:01:32,237 --> 01:01:36,537
And if nobody knows about the hearing,
there won't be anyone there to object.
813
01:01:37,576 --> 01:01:39,601
- There you go.
- Sleight of hand.
814
01:01:39,778 --> 01:01:42,110
- Sleight of hand.
- Grow the fingernails out.
815
01:01:42,281 --> 01:01:45,273
Then pop some fingernail polish
on them bitches.
816
01:01:46,618 --> 01:01:48,813
- Is Billy Prickett in on it?
- Prickett?
817
01:01:50,889 --> 01:01:55,588
- Prickett's just collecting a paycheck.
- We ain't gonna let you get away with it.
818
01:01:55,761 --> 01:02:00,596
Really? Tomorrow, if you happen to be
strolling by the courthouse about noon...
819
01:02:00,766 --> 01:02:04,031
...you might wanna rush right in there
and voice your objections.
820
01:02:04,202 --> 01:02:05,760
Voice this.
821
01:02:07,839 --> 01:02:10,637
Dadgum it. I just remembered.
822
01:02:10,809 --> 01:02:14,210
Tomorrow morning
you're going to the Georgia work farm.
823
01:02:14,379 --> 01:02:18,509
And I hear they have a rather
strict policy on weekend passes.
824
01:02:18,684 --> 01:02:21,653
Yo, B. You need to pop
a feather in that hat, yo.
825
01:02:21,820 --> 01:02:24,482
Then your man ho's will be having
more respect for you.
826
01:02:24,823 --> 01:02:26,552
I have $ 100 right here...
827
01:02:26,725 --> 01:02:29,489
...for whoever knocks
that loudmouth son of a bitch out.
828
01:02:31,430 --> 01:02:32,829
Thank you.
829
01:02:32,998 --> 01:02:35,558
Now, break some rocks for me, boys.
830
01:02:35,734 --> 01:02:38,396
Take care, now, you hear?
831
01:02:38,570 --> 01:02:40,697
Bye-bye.
832
01:02:41,840 --> 01:02:45,435
Don't you know you're not supposed
to wear white after Labor Day?
833
01:03:04,329 --> 01:03:06,194
All right, here's what we're gonna do.
834
01:03:06,365 --> 01:03:10,734
When we stop for gas, we call up Cooter
and tell him to put a pig in the road, right.
835
01:03:10,902 --> 01:03:15,134
Then when the cops are moving the pig,
Cooter hooks up a cable to the bumper.
836
01:03:15,307 --> 01:03:18,674
Car drives away,
the hook will pull out the whole chassis.
837
01:03:18,844 --> 01:03:21,278
He can't drive without a chassis...
838
01:03:21,446 --> 01:03:23,107
All right, shut up back there!
839
01:03:23,281 --> 01:03:26,307
My cousin's starting to go crazy.
We gotta get him to a hospital.
840
01:03:26,485 --> 01:03:28,783
I think he done caught the fever,
or something.
841
01:03:28,954 --> 01:03:32,515
That's what happens
when you're humping livestock, hillbilly.
842
01:03:32,691 --> 01:03:35,091
Can we help you guys out
with anything up there...
843
01:03:35,260 --> 01:03:37,455
...oblige you with a reach-around
or something?
844
01:03:37,629 --> 01:03:39,995
Of course, you'd have to un-cuff us first.
845
01:03:40,165 --> 01:03:43,498
Sarge, if you and me was to have
a chase, you think you could catch me?
846
01:03:44,002 --> 01:03:47,130
- Appears to me you caught already, son.
- I'm serious.
847
01:03:47,305 --> 01:03:51,207
If I had my car and you was in this one,
you really think you could catch me?
848
01:03:51,376 --> 01:03:54,072
Because, bubba,
this car feels kind of slow to me.
849
01:03:54,246 --> 01:03:57,215
She's got plenty under the hood,
don't you worry about that.
850
01:03:57,382 --> 01:03:59,009
- No balls.
- No balls.
851
01:03:59,184 --> 01:04:01,345
No balls. No balls.
852
01:04:01,520 --> 01:04:02,919
- No balls.
- No balls.
853
01:04:03,088 --> 01:04:05,079
You wanna see balls?
854
01:04:05,257 --> 01:04:08,090
- No balls. No balls.
- Will you slow this car down?
855
01:04:08,260 --> 01:04:11,593
You letting them get your panties
in a bunch. You the officer.
856
01:04:11,763 --> 01:04:14,163
Shut the hell up back there. All right?
857
01:04:14,433 --> 01:04:17,834
- No balls.
- Oh, my God. Will you look at that?
858
01:04:18,036 --> 01:04:21,096
You need a napkin
to eat them drumsticks, boy.
859
01:04:22,741 --> 01:04:25,471
- Goddamn it.
- Nice driving!
860
01:04:31,316 --> 01:04:33,375
What seems to be the problem, sugar?
861
01:04:33,885 --> 01:04:36,649
I think something bounced up
into my undercarriage.
862
01:04:36,822 --> 01:04:39,154
- Will you take a look?
- Ma'am, I'd be pleased...
863
01:04:39,324 --> 01:04:41,690
...to check your undercarriage.
- Thank you.
864
01:04:41,860 --> 01:04:44,420
I stopped you
because your taillight is out.
865
01:04:44,596 --> 01:04:46,393
Stopped me? Sir, you hit me.
866
01:04:46,565 --> 01:04:49,534
Because your taillight is out,
and we couldn't see you brake.
867
01:04:49,701 --> 01:04:52,067
- You're gonna write me a ticket?
- Yep.
868
01:04:52,404 --> 01:04:54,269
This is ridiculous!
869
01:04:56,708 --> 01:04:59,575
Is there anything I can help you out
with today, ma'am?
870
01:04:59,744 --> 01:05:02,611
Do cute cops grow on trees
around here or what?
871
01:05:02,814 --> 01:05:06,875
Well, I, you know... Pushups.
Kind of you to notice.
872
01:05:07,052 --> 01:05:10,078
Let me see what's going on
under your hood here.
873
01:05:11,823 --> 01:05:15,589
- Damn, that's hot.
- Here. Maybe this'll help.
874
01:05:19,498 --> 01:05:22,865
- Bless you.
- No, no, no. My undercarriage.
875
01:05:23,034 --> 01:05:25,468
- Your undercarriage?
- Yeah.
876
01:05:32,844 --> 01:05:36,280
Looks like you boys
have the magic touch.
877
01:05:46,157 --> 01:05:48,489
I was about to seal the deal
when you came over.
878
01:05:48,660 --> 01:05:50,855
What? She was looking at me
the whole time.
879
01:05:52,364 --> 01:05:55,197
- Let's get out of here.
- Where are the goddamn keys?
880
01:06:00,639 --> 01:06:03,130
Y'all think you can catch me now?
881
01:06:17,689 --> 01:06:19,554
Buckle up, this might get exciting.
882
01:06:19,724 --> 01:06:23,160
That's all right. We'll be long gone
before another cop shows up.
883
01:06:24,596 --> 01:06:25,790
Get skinny!
884
01:06:37,008 --> 01:06:39,568
- Okay, where's the highway?
- Don't you have a map?
885
01:06:40,679 --> 01:06:42,112
Wait. I got it.
886
01:06:45,617 --> 01:06:46,982
Turn left up here!
887
01:06:47,152 --> 01:06:48,449
Turn left, turn left!
888
01:06:49,988 --> 01:06:51,979
Damn it, I said, left!
889
01:06:52,157 --> 01:06:54,523
- You said your left!
- My left is your left.
890
01:06:54,693 --> 01:06:57,389
I'm gonna need
these directions faster.
891
01:07:00,165 --> 01:07:03,100
It's okay.
I know exactly where we're at.
892
01:07:10,675 --> 01:07:12,370
So, girls, how's the back seat?
893
01:07:12,544 --> 01:07:16,503
I haven't had this much fun since
we used to sneak up to the hayloft.
894
01:07:18,116 --> 01:07:21,244
You remember those tight little outfits
you used to make me wear.
895
01:07:26,558 --> 01:07:30,153
- I didn't know how to break it to you.
- You didn't know?
896
01:07:30,328 --> 01:07:32,159
Luke, you said he was okay with it.
897
01:07:35,834 --> 01:07:38,234
Look at the road, Bo.
898
01:07:38,403 --> 01:07:40,428
Bo, look at the road.
899
01:07:41,606 --> 01:07:44,871
- Look at the road.
- Supposed to be my time.
900
01:07:46,144 --> 01:07:47,475
Bo!
901
01:08:08,633 --> 01:08:09,998
I think I'm gonna chunder.
902
01:08:10,168 --> 01:08:12,033
- Is that bad?
- That means "vomit. "
903
01:08:12,203 --> 01:08:13,761
- Not in the car.
- Bo!
904
01:08:40,565 --> 01:08:43,534
You told me she wasn't
emotionally available for me.
905
01:08:43,702 --> 01:08:46,796
That it was better to lose a lover
than to love a loser!
906
01:08:46,971 --> 01:08:49,337
Because you would faint
every time you saw her!
907
01:08:49,507 --> 01:08:52,067
I don't faint.
908
01:08:54,145 --> 01:08:55,578
You called me a loser?
909
01:08:55,747 --> 01:08:57,715
I was trying to make him feel better.
910
01:08:57,882 --> 01:08:59,440
Can you just let me out here?
911
01:09:13,331 --> 01:09:16,596
Bo, this is some of the best driving
I ever seen you do.
912
01:09:16,768 --> 01:09:19,737
- Ain't that right, girls?
- Great driving, Bo. Great driving.
913
01:09:19,904 --> 01:09:21,565
Don't kiss my ass.
914
01:09:26,911 --> 01:09:29,937
- Bo, you gotta get us out of here.
- I can't hear you.
915
01:09:30,115 --> 01:09:33,107
- You're being ridiculous, Bo.
- Life is ridiculous, Katie.
916
01:09:33,284 --> 01:09:35,343
I really need a plastic bag now.
917
01:09:41,226 --> 01:09:43,160
What is the purpose of this circle?
918
01:09:46,865 --> 01:09:48,196
How do we get out of here?
919
01:09:48,366 --> 01:09:50,561
- Take this right.
- I'm not listening to you.
920
01:09:50,735 --> 01:09:52,669
Take a right here.
921
01:09:54,272 --> 01:09:55,603
Hell.
922
01:10:05,483 --> 01:10:07,713
You're scaring the girls.
Get back on the road.
923
01:10:07,886 --> 01:10:10,753
- Say sorry for stealing Katie.
- You were never together!
924
01:10:10,922 --> 01:10:12,583
I liked her. You betrayed that.
925
01:10:12,757 --> 01:10:15,419
- I liked her too!
- I liked her first.
926
01:10:16,461 --> 01:10:17,689
Calm down, Bo!
927
01:10:17,862 --> 01:10:19,887
I will calm down
when he says he's sorry!
928
01:10:20,064 --> 01:10:22,123
- Say you're sorry.
- I ain't saying it.
929
01:10:22,300 --> 01:10:24,598
Have you made your peace
with God yet, Luke?
930
01:10:24,769 --> 01:10:28,205
Because you're about to
meet your maker!
931
01:10:28,473 --> 01:10:29,940
- Just say you're sorry!
- No.
932
01:10:30,108 --> 01:10:33,771
We had a good time,
and I'm not gonna apologize for that.
933
01:10:49,828 --> 01:10:52,228
Okay, I'm sorry.
934
01:10:52,397 --> 01:10:54,865
Fine. I'll take Annette.
935
01:10:57,936 --> 01:11:00,302
That was fun.
936
01:11:08,379 --> 01:11:10,847
Lost Sheep, Lost Sheep,
are you out there?
937
01:11:11,015 --> 01:11:12,414
Uncle Jesse, where are you?
938
01:11:12,584 --> 01:11:16,350
There's a hearing at the courthouse.
We gotta get everybody over there now.
939
01:11:16,521 --> 01:11:18,921
Sounds like a mighty fine plan, Lucas.
940
01:11:19,090 --> 01:11:21,615
Only got one wrinkle to it.
941
01:11:21,793 --> 01:11:28,221
You do that, could be very bad
for Jesse and Pauline's health.
942
01:11:28,499 --> 01:11:30,228
Hogg, you lay one hand on them...
943
01:11:30,401 --> 01:11:33,461
...and I'll shove a apple in your mouth
and my foot up your ass.
944
01:11:33,638 --> 01:11:35,299
Well, you bring the Vaseline.
945
01:11:35,974 --> 01:11:37,601
We'll make it a party.
946
01:11:37,775 --> 01:11:41,370
You two boys stay out of Hazzard,
and I mean it this time.
947
01:11:41,546 --> 01:11:44,242
- Where you think they got them?
- I don't know.
948
01:11:44,415 --> 01:11:47,748
- Hogg's never gone this far before.
- You ready to go that far?
949
01:11:48,453 --> 01:11:52,014
Cousin, I'm always ready
to go that far.
950
01:12:05,270 --> 01:12:08,535
What are we doing here?
This is Derek Sheevington's place.
951
01:12:08,706 --> 01:12:12,972
Yeah. Pretty good chance this is gonna
get ugly, so we're gonna drop you here.
952
01:12:13,144 --> 01:12:16,170
He got caught drinking
out of the toilet in the girls' bathroom.
953
01:12:16,347 --> 01:12:19,976
I know, I know. But we're gonna need
you girls to work with him.
954
01:12:21,052 --> 01:12:22,349
Oh, good God.
955
01:12:25,156 --> 01:12:27,818
Why, Katie Johnson, is that you?
956
01:12:27,992 --> 01:12:29,789
Boy, you filled out real nice.
957
01:12:29,961 --> 01:12:32,794
Yeah. You filled out
real nice too, Sheev.
958
01:12:32,964 --> 01:12:36,923
What's going on, Sheev? Looks like
we're gonna need some of those toys.
959
01:12:37,168 --> 01:12:40,968
Leave them two girls here,
I'll give you anything you want.
960
01:12:41,139 --> 01:12:43,664
Come on in. I'll put a stew on.
961
01:12:53,284 --> 01:12:57,186
- Hazzard County Police Department.
- Enos, this is Boss Hogg.
962
01:12:57,355 --> 01:12:59,380
Me and Rosco are over
at the Duke place.
963
01:12:59,557 --> 01:13:03,357
- If anybody wants us, we'll be here.
- Well, that's mighty consid...
964
01:13:05,863 --> 01:13:10,391
Rosco, I'm going over
and join the governor at the rally.
965
01:13:10,568 --> 01:13:14,334
Do not be late
going to the courthouse.
966
01:13:14,505 --> 01:13:17,804
Boss, how come you told old Enos there
where we was at?
967
01:13:21,212 --> 01:13:23,737
You remember the time
we tried to fix the rodeo?
968
01:13:23,915 --> 01:13:27,612
- Yeah.
- It was Enos that told the Dukes about it.
969
01:13:28,086 --> 01:13:31,578
Then we tried to spread those rumors
about the Mad Cow Disease...
970
01:13:31,756 --> 01:13:35,920
...so my chicken factories
would make a little more profit.
971
01:13:36,094 --> 01:13:38,585
It was Enos that told the Duke boys.
972
01:13:38,763 --> 01:13:41,391
So you want them Duke boys
to come out here?
973
01:14:13,798 --> 01:14:18,963
Enos, where's Boss Hogg and Rosco?
974
01:14:19,137 --> 01:14:21,537
They're at your farm.
975
01:14:22,106 --> 01:14:24,233
Thank you, Enos.
976
01:14:28,946 --> 01:14:31,380
That might be a new record.
977
01:14:37,288 --> 01:14:39,779
What? Okay, thanks, Daisy.
978
01:14:41,726 --> 01:14:43,091
He's at our farm.
979
01:14:45,463 --> 01:14:47,590
Hey. Hey, look, there's Prickett.
980
01:14:48,299 --> 01:14:50,494
- So?
- He can help us.
981
01:14:50,668 --> 01:14:53,501
He don't care about Hazzard.
He's getting paid to be here.
982
01:14:53,671 --> 01:14:55,901
Oh, man, you're wrong.
He's from here.
983
01:15:03,247 --> 01:15:06,216
- You out of your goddamn mind?
- Hey, Billy.
984
01:15:06,384 --> 01:15:10,218
- Boss Hogg's gonna strip-mine Hazzard.
- Just hold your horses.
985
01:15:10,388 --> 01:15:13,585
- Who's stripping?
- He's playing you, man.
986
01:15:13,758 --> 01:15:16,386
- He paid you to come and race...
- Just save your breath.
987
01:15:16,561 --> 01:15:19,394
- I already know.
- You already know?
988
01:15:20,998 --> 01:15:24,525
- But this is your hometown.
- I hate to break this to you, Bo-Bo...
989
01:15:24,702 --> 01:15:27,330
...but this place is a shithole.
990
01:15:27,505 --> 01:15:31,464
If it wasn't a strip mine,
it'd be a strip mall.
991
01:15:33,111 --> 01:15:37,605
Kind of like one of them outlets where
everything's reduced prices and...
992
01:15:37,782 --> 01:15:41,445
Hell, they don't even have an Outback
Steakhouse down here. Am I right?
993
01:15:41,619 --> 01:15:44,486
- Right as pie, Billy.
- Saddle up, Dil.
994
01:15:48,860 --> 01:15:53,194
Look at the bright side, Bo-Bo. At least
you didn't have to race me today.
995
01:15:53,364 --> 01:15:57,164
Because I would've left that little Tonka
toy you drive at the starting stripe.
996
01:15:57,335 --> 01:15:59,701
- Tonka.
- I'm gonna kill him.
997
01:15:59,871 --> 01:16:02,135
Hey, hey, hey!
998
01:16:02,306 --> 01:16:04,570
- What about Uncle Jesse?
- Wanna ride this stag?
999
01:16:04,742 --> 01:16:08,109
- You wanna rodeo with this clown?
- Uncle Jesse's old, Luke.
1000
01:16:08,279 --> 01:16:09,940
He's had a good run.
1001
01:16:10,114 --> 01:16:15,746
Besides, if he passes, God have mercy
on his soul, we get the farm.
1002
01:16:18,756 --> 01:16:21,816
I'm just playing with you, man.
Let's go get him.
1003
01:16:33,437 --> 01:16:35,132
They're here.
1004
01:16:41,846 --> 01:16:43,211
Cooter, you ready out there?
1005
01:16:43,381 --> 01:16:46,612
You get Rosco out of there,
Daisy and I'll take care of the rest.
1006
01:16:46,784 --> 01:16:49,844
What do you say we smoke
the varmint out of his hole?
1007
01:16:52,590 --> 01:16:55,923
Hey, Rosco, come on out,
you fat son of a bitch!
1008
01:17:02,266 --> 01:17:04,791
- Cletus, get your butt out there.
- Thank you, Rosco.
1009
01:17:19,016 --> 01:17:21,746
- Let me know if you're gonna puke!
- Oh, you'll know first!
1010
01:17:28,926 --> 01:17:32,327
All right, boys! Y'all come on
out of there with your hands up.
1011
01:17:34,065 --> 01:17:36,329
- Hey, Rosco!
- Hi, Boo-Boo.
1012
01:17:47,178 --> 01:17:49,442
I didn't know we had so many pigs
on the farm.
1013
01:18:01,325 --> 01:18:04,488
- I call this "painting the fence. "
- I think you missed a spot.
1014
01:18:08,532 --> 01:18:10,500
Look out, look out!
1015
01:18:10,735 --> 01:18:13,067
- You gonna get us out of here?
- I'm working on it!
1016
01:18:29,053 --> 01:18:31,146
Man, they're hauling ass, pick it up!
1017
01:18:41,232 --> 01:18:43,598
- You gonna make that?
- I'm planning on it.
1018
01:18:46,671 --> 01:18:48,571
Hold on, Luke.
1019
01:18:52,276 --> 01:18:54,039
I'll go in this direction now!
1020
01:19:07,758 --> 01:19:10,556
All right, Jesse. I'm arresting those...
1021
01:19:11,128 --> 01:19:14,222
Jesse? Jesse?
1022
01:19:17,335 --> 01:19:19,326
Courthouse.
1023
01:19:27,712 --> 01:19:31,341
Attention!
Attention, good people of Hazzard!
1024
01:19:31,515 --> 01:19:34,382
Life as we know it is about to end.
1025
01:19:34,552 --> 01:19:39,353
As we speak, dark forces are conspiring
to strip-mine our land.
1026
01:19:39,523 --> 01:19:41,855
Follow me to the courthouse,
and we'll save you!
1027
01:19:43,728 --> 01:19:47,892
Yeah, right, Sheev. Last year
the CIA was brainwashing our cows.
1028
01:19:48,566 --> 01:19:49,965
Get a job, man.
1029
01:19:51,235 --> 01:19:53,066
Hey, Sheev. Sheev.
1030
01:19:53,237 --> 01:19:57,298
- Go back to your spaceship.
- I'm serious. Come on!
1031
01:19:58,442 --> 01:19:59,500
Bye, Sheev.
1032
01:20:13,891 --> 01:20:15,825
It might be good
if you helped out here.
1033
01:20:15,993 --> 01:20:18,120
- Hell, move over, I'll drive.
- No way.
1034
01:20:18,295 --> 01:20:20,160
I'm still hoping to survive this thing.
1035
01:20:22,133 --> 01:20:23,794
Goddamn it. Son of a bitch.
1036
01:20:27,104 --> 01:20:30,073
I like the way you think, cuz.
Yeah, boy!
1037
01:20:48,626 --> 01:20:50,150
Hold on.
1038
01:21:05,075 --> 01:21:07,407
Lost Sheep, Lost Sheep,
are you out there?
1039
01:21:08,045 --> 01:21:09,205
Go for Lost Sheep.
1040
01:21:09,380 --> 01:21:11,575
- Free and clear.
- Good.
1041
01:21:11,749 --> 01:21:14,274
Sheev's making sure everyone
goes to the hearing.
1042
01:21:14,452 --> 01:21:16,215
- I'll see you in town.
- Over and out.
1043
01:21:16,387 --> 01:21:17,877
Let's get the hell out of here.
1044
01:21:23,127 --> 01:21:27,029
- Barn door, coming up.
- Yeah, I see it. Hold on!
1045
01:21:49,487 --> 01:21:51,182
The General!
1046
01:21:51,422 --> 01:21:53,117
Let's head to the courthouse!
1047
01:21:57,428 --> 01:22:00,397
End of the World to Lost Sheep,
End of the World to Lost Sheep.
1048
01:22:00,564 --> 01:22:02,532
- Come in, Lost Sheep.
- What do you got?
1049
01:22:02,700 --> 01:22:05,032
- Everybody headed into town?
- That's a negative.
1050
01:22:05,202 --> 01:22:06,692
Repeat, that's a negative.
1051
01:22:06,871 --> 01:22:09,465
No one listened.
They threw hot dogs at us.
1052
01:22:10,307 --> 01:22:13,140
- Did you tell them about the strip mine?
- Of course I did.
1053
01:22:13,711 --> 01:22:16,839
Were you wearing a armadillo helmet
when you told them about it?
1054
01:22:19,216 --> 01:22:20,513
No.
1055
01:22:21,552 --> 01:22:23,042
Okay, Lost Sheep out.
1056
01:22:24,088 --> 01:22:25,715
No one's heading in to town?
1057
01:22:25,890 --> 01:22:29,883
If we don't get to that courthouse
by noon, there ain't gonna be no town.
1058
01:22:32,763 --> 01:22:36,529
- Well, we still got time for Plan B.
- I like Plan B.
1059
01:22:36,700 --> 01:22:37,997
- Plan B.
- Plan B.
1060
01:22:38,168 --> 01:22:40,363
When you're flying by the seat
of your pants...
1061
01:22:40,538 --> 01:22:43,666
... nothing sounds more official
than a Plan B.
1062
01:22:45,276 --> 01:22:48,109
Don't worry, cuz,
I'll get them to the courthouse.
1063
01:23:12,202 --> 01:23:15,433
This emergency hearing
is now in session.
1064
01:23:17,007 --> 01:23:19,168
Rosco, where is everybody?
1065
01:23:20,644 --> 01:23:22,043
I'm here.
1066
01:23:22,713 --> 01:23:24,044
Well, we have until noon.
1067
01:24:05,055 --> 01:24:09,424
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls...
1068
01:24:09,593 --> 01:24:14,530
...it's my honor today
to introduce my friend...
1069
01:24:14,698 --> 01:24:20,864
...and the friend of everybody in the
greatest state of the United States...
1070
01:24:23,674 --> 01:24:29,237
...the governor, James T. Applewhite!
1071
01:24:29,480 --> 01:24:31,778
Thank you. Thank you.
1072
01:24:33,117 --> 01:24:34,744
Ladies and gentlemen...
1073
01:24:34,918 --> 01:24:39,912
...welcome to the
70th Annual Hazzard Road Rally!
1074
01:24:42,192 --> 01:24:45,286
Drivers, start your engines!
1075
01:24:56,407 --> 01:25:00,776
Just have a couple piña coladas
waiting for me at the finish line, Dil.
1076
01:25:00,944 --> 01:25:02,639
Here comes the heat.
1077
01:25:06,650 --> 01:25:08,379
There they go.
1078
01:25:14,425 --> 01:25:16,359
Come on, come on, come on.
1079
01:25:37,347 --> 01:25:39,247
He's in the race!
1080
01:26:10,614 --> 01:26:13,947
It has been confirmed that the
orange car that entered the race...
1081
01:26:14,118 --> 01:26:17,019
...is in fact the same car
that tore up Atlanta this morning.
1082
01:26:17,187 --> 01:26:21,283
It seems that the "orange-car fugitives"
are from right here in Hazzard County.
1083
01:26:21,458 --> 01:26:24,484
State and local authorities
are trying to subdue the vehicle...
1084
01:26:24,661 --> 01:26:26,253
...known as the General Lee.
1085
01:26:26,430 --> 01:26:30,298
Well, General-Lee speaking, I'd say those
cops are in for a pretty tough time.
1086
01:26:30,467 --> 01:26:32,628
I'm Rick Shakely.
Back to you, Marty.
1087
01:26:38,242 --> 01:26:41,439
This is Boss Hogg.
The Dukes are on the course.
1088
01:26:41,612 --> 01:26:47,551
I want all available vehicles to shut down
the road to the courthouse!
1089
01:26:47,718 --> 01:26:50,084
- We're gonna need to clear a path.
- You got it.
1090
01:26:53,791 --> 01:26:58,091
Hey, Dil, what's the word
on those Céline Dion tickets?
1091
01:26:59,096 --> 01:27:03,192
Well, of course I wanna go backstage.
Don't be dumb.
1092
01:27:55,485 --> 01:27:56,645
Damn.
1093
01:28:09,933 --> 01:28:14,063
Enos. I want you
down to the courthouse. I...
1094
01:28:15,606 --> 01:28:17,039
Someone moved my car.
1095
01:28:18,909 --> 01:28:22,868
Enos, you dipstick,
did somebody move my car?
1096
01:28:23,413 --> 01:28:26,576
Hell, let's just sack up
and shoot the bastard.
1097
01:28:29,119 --> 01:28:31,713
Holy shit!
1098
01:28:32,222 --> 01:28:34,247
Luke, where the hell are you?
1099
01:28:49,873 --> 01:28:52,774
- Good God almighty.
- It's about time!
1100
01:28:52,943 --> 01:28:55,776
- How's the race going?
- How's it look like it's going?
1101
01:29:43,694 --> 01:29:45,218
Why, you dirty son of a bitch.
1102
01:29:48,999 --> 01:29:50,762
Hey, go easy on that.
1103
01:29:50,934 --> 01:29:54,927
For what I'm getting ready to do,
I don't wanna remember a lot of it.
1104
01:30:01,311 --> 01:30:03,108
You know why tornadoes and blonds...
1105
01:30:03,280 --> 01:30:05,305
...are so much alike?
- No.
1106
01:30:05,482 --> 01:30:10,146
At first, there's a lot of sucking
and blowing, and then you lose your house.
1107
01:30:15,292 --> 01:30:18,125
Know what you get when you cross
a donkey with an onion?
1108
01:30:18,295 --> 01:30:19,853
- No.
- You get a piece of ass...
1109
01:30:20,030 --> 01:30:22,965
...that'll bring a tear to your eye.
1110
01:30:27,904 --> 01:30:29,462
You thinking about throwing it?
1111
01:30:29,639 --> 01:30:31,869
Oh, I'll throw it.
I was thinking about pussy.
1112
01:30:39,649 --> 01:30:41,776
You know why divorces
are so expensive?
1113
01:30:41,952 --> 01:30:44,512
- No.
- Because they're worth it.
1114
01:30:47,491 --> 01:30:49,516
Fire in the hole.
1115
01:30:55,465 --> 01:30:59,196
Hey, Bo, take it home.
The coast is clear.
1116
01:31:11,148 --> 01:31:13,013
Here we go again.
1117
01:31:13,183 --> 01:31:15,344
Okay, I'm gonna get those cops
to follow me.
1118
01:31:15,519 --> 01:31:18,352
When I do, tow those cruisers
out of the way.
1119
01:31:18,522 --> 01:31:20,422
Can do.
1120
01:31:34,504 --> 01:31:37,564
Excuse me, officers.
My car broke down up the street there...
1121
01:31:37,741 --> 01:31:40,039
...and I was wondering
if y'all could help me out.
1122
01:31:40,210 --> 01:31:43,111
Why, yes, ma'am.
We'll be happy to.
1123
01:31:43,280 --> 01:31:46,681
- Oh, you're sweet.
- Let's go.
1124
01:31:47,217 --> 01:31:50,744
Halt! Tough shit, honey.
You go fix your own car.
1125
01:31:50,921 --> 01:31:52,513
Ain't no one going anywhere.
1126
01:31:53,457 --> 01:31:55,584
What the hell are you doing?
1127
01:32:05,869 --> 01:32:07,166
Come on, General.
1128
01:32:38,568 --> 01:32:40,900
Hey, Dil, we got a late arrival!
1129
01:32:50,547 --> 01:32:52,242
Hey, Billy!
1130
01:33:02,225 --> 01:33:04,557
You're gonna pay for that, Bo-Bo.
1131
01:33:08,765 --> 01:33:11,199
I've had just about enough of you.
1132
01:33:23,647 --> 01:33:24,944
Here they come.
1133
01:33:40,864 --> 01:33:43,526
Of course I can feel him on my left!
Of course I can!
1134
01:33:48,471 --> 01:33:51,668
- Where is he getting this from?
- Hey, Billy!
1135
01:33:51,841 --> 01:33:53,240
He's playing with me!
1136
01:34:01,184 --> 01:34:03,846
- Come on.
- The General Lee has won the race.
1137
01:34:05,488 --> 01:34:07,046
I want him tested for steroids!
1138
01:34:10,860 --> 01:34:13,920
But Billy Prickett and the General Lee
haven't had quite enough driving.
1139
01:34:14,097 --> 01:34:16,031
They're still going.
1140
01:34:17,500 --> 01:34:19,730
- Come on, y'all!
- We'll interview these guys...
1141
01:34:19,903 --> 01:34:22,997
...if we have to chase after
them ourselves. Tito, start the van.
1142
01:34:23,540 --> 01:34:25,440
Better luck next time, Hogg.
1143
01:34:25,609 --> 01:34:27,167
Let's go, baby.
1144
01:34:34,918 --> 01:34:36,943
Don't go home, really.
1145
01:34:39,155 --> 01:34:41,180
This is Boss Hogg.
1146
01:34:41,358 --> 01:34:46,193
That road better be shut down
tighter than a tick's ass.
1147
01:34:46,863 --> 01:34:49,331
Ten-four. Barricade's in place.
1148
01:34:55,238 --> 01:34:57,365
Rosco, is anyone coming?
1149
01:34:57,941 --> 01:35:02,037
- What, I ain't good enough for you?
- No comment.
1150
01:35:03,513 --> 01:35:06,073
Don't write that down.
Don't write that down.
1151
01:35:06,249 --> 01:35:09,275
- Are they coming?
- Oh, yeah, they're coming.
1152
01:35:09,452 --> 01:35:11,943
We got the whole town headed
to the courthouse.
1153
01:35:13,189 --> 01:35:16,420
- Daisy, we all clear?
- Not exactly.
1154
01:35:16,593 --> 01:35:19,187
"Not exactly" could be a problem.
1155
01:35:19,362 --> 01:35:23,526
Bo? I think we're gonna have
to shoot the moon.
1156
01:35:38,982 --> 01:35:41,507
- What the hell are you doing, Cooter?
- Sorry, officer.
1157
01:35:41,685 --> 01:35:43,653
I heard a pretty lady needed a tow.
1158
01:35:46,790 --> 01:35:49,691
- Cooter.
- I can't hear you.
1159
01:35:49,859 --> 01:35:52,293
Cooter, what the hell are you doing?
1160
01:36:00,337 --> 01:36:02,703
Hey, Billy!
1161
01:36:02,872 --> 01:36:04,965
You think I was born
yesterday, Bo-Bo?
1162
01:36:06,242 --> 01:36:08,233
Oh, shit!
1163
01:36:16,486 --> 01:36:18,181
Holy shit.
1164
01:36:34,671 --> 01:36:37,333
Luke, I made it, but I don't know
how anybody else will.
1165
01:36:37,507 --> 01:36:40,374
That's okay, I got an idea!
1166
01:36:44,214 --> 01:36:46,045
Well, I'll see you on the other side.
1167
01:37:01,297 --> 01:37:03,356
Give me
your goddamn driver's license.
1168
01:37:03,533 --> 01:37:05,296
What license?
1169
01:37:12,142 --> 01:37:14,770
What are we waiting on, judge?
Let's finish this thing.
1170
01:37:14,944 --> 01:37:16,775
Well, I guess it's that time.
1171
01:37:16,946 --> 01:37:19,881
I just can't believe
that nobody wants to object.
1172
01:37:21,317 --> 01:37:25,048
All those in favor
of the strip-mining ordinance?
1173
01:37:26,823 --> 01:37:29,189
- They're gonna strip-mine Hazzard?
- Damn straight.
1174
01:37:29,359 --> 01:37:33,728
- How can they do that?
- Don't worry, we're about to stop them.
1175
01:37:34,898 --> 01:37:36,923
All those opposed?
1176
01:37:38,902 --> 01:37:41,530
What the hell is that?
Who locked that door?
1177
01:37:45,975 --> 01:37:48,569
- Oh, man, that's gonna hurt tomorrow.
- Your Honor!
1178
01:37:48,745 --> 01:37:53,239
I think we got some people who might
like to object to this strip-mining issue.
1179
01:37:53,683 --> 01:37:57,119
Okay, all those opposed
to the strip-mining ordinance?
1180
01:38:00,156 --> 01:38:05,924
This court hereby declares that the
strip-mining ordinance is dismissed.
1181
01:38:11,334 --> 01:38:14,462
Thank you much. Thank you, Boss.
Hi, how y'all?
1182
01:38:14,704 --> 01:38:17,434
She might be a little low on gas.
1183
01:38:17,607 --> 01:38:19,575
Take that.
1184
01:38:20,710 --> 01:38:24,077
Were you really gonna strip-mine
Hazzard, Mr. Hogg?
1185
01:38:24,848 --> 01:38:27,442
I was thinking about it.
1186
01:38:29,085 --> 01:38:30,882
- Out of the way.
- Step aside, please.
1187
01:38:31,054 --> 01:38:32,419
Excuse me, ma'am.
1188
01:38:33,790 --> 01:38:36,088
- Get your hands up.
- People, move back.
1189
01:38:36,259 --> 01:38:37,851
Hands up, hands up.
1190
01:38:38,027 --> 01:38:41,428
Okay. Looks like the party's over.
1191
01:38:41,598 --> 01:38:44,658
Damn right it is.
As long as I'm a county commissioner...
1192
01:38:44,834 --> 01:38:47,701
...for the great state of Georgia,
you two are gonna rot...
1193
01:38:47,871 --> 01:38:50,362
...in the penitentiary. Cuff him.
1194
01:38:51,608 --> 01:38:52,905
Let them go!
1195
01:38:53,209 --> 01:38:54,972
Let them go!
1196
01:38:55,144 --> 01:38:58,511
Excuse me, Rick Shakely. I think
the governor has a statement to make.
1197
01:38:58,681 --> 01:39:00,546
- Well, hot dog.
- I do?
1198
01:39:00,717 --> 01:39:03,208
Yes, sir. You wanted to comment
on how these boys...
1199
01:39:03,386 --> 01:39:05,684
...are the heroes
for saving Hazzard County.
1200
01:39:05,855 --> 01:39:08,847
- That's right, governor!
- Come on, governor!
1201
01:39:10,293 --> 01:39:12,227
Certainly, certainly.
1202
01:39:12,395 --> 01:39:15,990
As you know, I've always been
a great friend to the environment.
1203
01:39:16,466 --> 01:39:19,367
And these boys,
they're environmental heroes!
1204
01:39:21,137 --> 01:39:25,267
And because they're heroes, you're
gonna pardon them for all their crimes?
1205
01:39:28,778 --> 01:39:31,838
Moreover, as governor,
I hereby pardon these boys...
1206
01:39:32,015 --> 01:39:35,974
...of any and all offenses against
the great state of Georgia. Go Dogs!
1207
01:39:39,222 --> 01:39:42,885
Governor? I wanna thank you
for pardoning me too.
1208
01:39:43,059 --> 01:39:46,119
- Pardon you for what?
- For this.
1209
01:39:50,900 --> 01:39:53,391
Oh, what the hell. I pardon him too.
1210
01:39:55,638 --> 01:39:59,199
Here's to Hazzard County's
real favorite sons.
1211
01:40:02,712 --> 01:40:05,738
The day had been saved, as they say.
1212
01:40:05,915 --> 01:40:08,577
Hazzard was put back the way it was.
1213
01:40:08,751 --> 01:40:11,481
Boss Hogg had some explaining to do.
1214
01:40:11,654 --> 01:40:14,145
And the Dukes got their farm back
and celebrated...
1215
01:40:14,324 --> 01:40:17,691
... with a good old-fashioned
pig-picking barbecue.
1216
01:40:17,860 --> 01:40:20,954
Hey, Billy. Daisy, I think
you ought to get up there and sing.
1217
01:40:21,130 --> 01:40:24,861
- Oh, no. I only sing in the shower.
- I'll get the water running.
1218
01:40:25,034 --> 01:40:27,468
- Let's get Uncle Jesse to do it.
- Good idea.
1219
01:40:27,637 --> 01:40:30,970
Pauline, where's Uncle Jesse?
We want him to sing a song.
1220
01:40:31,140 --> 01:40:34,337
I think I might know where he is.
1221
01:40:38,448 --> 01:40:39,710
An apple?
1222
01:40:39,983 --> 01:40:42,850
An apple a day
will keep the doctor away, darling.
1223
01:40:43,019 --> 01:40:46,011
Come on, Jesse,
they want you to sing.
1224
01:40:46,189 --> 01:40:49,989
- Real refreshing.
- They are, aren't they?
1225
01:40:59,936 --> 01:41:01,665
It feels like old times again.
1226
01:41:01,838 --> 01:41:05,535
Yeah, except for now we don't
gotta worry about Bo finding out.
1227
01:41:05,708 --> 01:41:09,200
I swear you're the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.
1228
01:41:09,379 --> 01:41:12,177
- You're sweet.
- Yeah.
1229
01:41:12,348 --> 01:41:14,543
I would really like to give you
a bath later.
1230
01:41:14,717 --> 01:41:16,912
Clean you up real nice.
Would you like that?
1231
01:41:17,086 --> 01:41:20,283
- I'd like that.
- Yeah. Yeah.
1232
01:41:20,456 --> 01:41:24,256
Don't worry about her. She's crazy.
1233
01:41:30,733 --> 01:41:32,291
Hey there, Laurie.
1234
01:41:32,468 --> 01:41:35,528
You forgot to make your delivery
this week, Luke Duke.
1235
01:41:36,072 --> 01:41:39,166
- Go, Bo, go.
- Luke, you man-whore.
1236
01:41:39,942 --> 01:41:42,536
You get back here, you bastard!
1237
01:41:42,712 --> 01:41:44,145
See y'all later.
1238
01:41:58,227 --> 01:41:59,888
Okay, this is A-camera marker.
1239
01:42:00,063 --> 01:42:03,157
- Actually, she's my cousin.
- That don't make a difference to me.
1240
01:42:03,332 --> 01:42:07,325
Hell, long as she's your sister.
What the fuck did I just say?
1241
01:42:12,442 --> 01:42:16,242
Don't you know you're not supposed
to wear white after Labor Day?
1242
01:42:19,215 --> 01:42:21,308
- Come on, cut that out.
- Seann.
1243
01:42:21,484 --> 01:42:23,645
Do I need to mark this thing?
1244
01:42:23,820 --> 01:42:25,185
It's called common markers.
1245
01:42:25,354 --> 01:42:27,720
I wonder if Richard Burton
ever had to do that.
1246
01:43:09,799 --> 01:43:13,394
What the fuck?
That's the kiss you guys are having?
1247
01:43:13,569 --> 01:43:16,436
What the fuck?
I'm a total fucking moron.
1248
01:43:16,606 --> 01:43:19,268
- It gets longer and longer, doesn't it?
- Come on.
1249
01:43:19,442 --> 01:43:22,969
How these boys are the heroes for...
Oh, my Lord.
1250
01:43:23,146 --> 01:43:26,582
Every time I look at her titties,
she loses her line.
1251
01:43:28,618 --> 01:43:31,109
- I love it except for the hair in your eyes.
- I know.
1252
01:43:31,287 --> 01:43:33,255
- How's my hair?
- Okay.
1253
01:43:33,422 --> 01:43:35,549
How'd you miss that?
1254
01:43:35,825 --> 01:43:39,124
- Gonna take your hands off the wheel?
- He showed me his balls.
1255
01:43:39,295 --> 01:43:42,093
Sorry. Okay, okay. We'll do it again.
Okay, keep going.
1256
01:43:42,265 --> 01:43:44,165
For your...
1257
01:43:46,102 --> 01:43:48,969
- Don't tell me, it rhymes with "anus. "
- Heinous.
1258
01:43:49,138 --> 01:43:51,436
For your heinous crimes.
1259
01:43:51,607 --> 01:43:54,633
Have you been running this
around the clock, Uncle Jesse?
1260
01:44:04,554 --> 01:44:08,456
Did I say "shit" or "hell" that time?
With "ass" or "dick"? I said "hell"?
1261
01:44:10,193 --> 01:44:13,890
Dang it, a little help. A little help.
1262
01:44:15,198 --> 01:44:17,723
- Cut it.
- Cut.
1263
01:44:17,900 --> 01:44:22,997
Come on, be a bro, be a bro.
Get it away! Come on. Get it away!
1264
01:44:23,172 --> 01:44:24,867
- Move over.
- Hey.
1265
01:44:25,041 --> 01:44:28,306
- There weren't any bananas.
- Oh, that's okay.
1266
01:44:29,312 --> 01:44:33,214
- Where's Bo?
- To hell with Bo, it's Boo!
1267
01:44:33,382 --> 01:44:34,849
Lunch!
1268
01:44:40,156 --> 01:44:41,919
Thank you very much.
1269
01:44:43,793 --> 01:44:46,887
Look at me, I'm flying. I'm flying!
1270
01:44:47,063 --> 01:44:50,499
Oh, it's so much fun. I'm okay.
1271
01:45:50,500 --> 01:45:53,300
presented by mrz