Mom, Dad, great news.
Since Harper and I graduated high school,
we decided that we're ready to get our own apartment and move out!
What do you think?
I think they love it.
- Oh, my goodness, let's start packing now. - Yeah!
Wait a second! Did I hear you correctly?
You graduated high school?
Nice parenting!
Listen, Alex... You want to move out?
I don't think you guys have thought this through.
Doesn't matter. Because I have.
I've actually been waiting for this moment for years.
Here, check it out.
Here's a blueprint of the house without Alex in it.
Well, where's my room?
Gone. I'm going to build my laboratory in it.
Bonus, you can never move back in or visit.
Alex, honey, moving out is a very big deal.
For one thing, you're gonna need money,
for things like food, rent...
Oh, come on, Alex and I agreed years ago
that when we had enough money saved, we'd move out.
- Right, Alex? - Yeah.
I have a quarter.
What about utilities?
Where are you gonna get the money for that?
Oh, I just figured I'd take some from here.
Those are utensils.
Well, then I don't know what utilities are...
...so I probably don't need 'em.
Oh, really? So you don't need gas, heat, water, phone?
You know, usually roommates share the cost of those things.
Did you know about all that?
Yes, Alex, I knew we'd need water.
If you two can earn enough money to move out,
that will prove how serious you are, and we'd be supportive.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Thank you, thank you!
♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪
♪ Well, you know everything's gonna be a breeze ♪
♪ That the end will no doubt justify the means ♪
♪ You can fix any problem with the slightest of ease ♪
♪ Yes, please ♪
♪ But you might find out it'll go to your head ♪
♪ When you write a report on a book you never read ♪
♪ With the snap of your fingers you can make your bed ♪
♪ That's what I said ♪
♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪
♪ When you can get all you wanted in your wildest dreams ♪
♪ You might run into trouble if you go to extremes ♪
♪ Because everything is not what it seems ♪
♪ Be careful not to mess with the balance of things ♪
♪ Because everything is not ♪
♪ What it seems ♪♪
Mom, Dad, Talia just told me her parents want to meet you guys
so they can get a sense of my family.
[chuckling] I can't even make sense of this family,
how are they gonna do it?
You know what's worse than meeting parents?
Meeting the kind of parents that want to meet other parents.
Yeah, you should just put 'em off for a little while.
All right, I'll put 'em off for two hours.
They're coming over for lunch.
[exclaims] Oh, I hate meeting new people.
But I do like lunch. It's... There's...
[groans] I'm torn!
Justin, I just heard your sister's moving out.
Now we can take over her room.
"Operation: Sister's Moving Out So We Can Take Over Her Room" is in high gear.
We're gonna have enough room to build a plexi-dome moonscape biosphere!
I'm Harper's latest craft project, Venus Paloma.
Harper, please stop playing with puppets.
I'm trying to figure out a way to make money.
All right, what do we have that people would pay for?
That's a cute puppet. Are you doing a show?
Hey, quiet, little girl!
We're trying to think of a way we can make money.
Sorry, but I just wanted to know
where I can buy a ticket for the puppet show.
Kid, please! Don't make me tell you again.
Wait a minute! That puppet lovin' little girl just gave me an idea.
We could make money by putting on a puppet show!
That's a terrific idea! I'm ready to be a rock star!
OK, then it's settled.
You make another marionette, and I'll write a script
about two oddball friends making their way in the world.
OK, and we'll build the puppet stage to make sure you move out.
All right, guys, Talia's parents are on their way up.
So let me give you a tip, so you have plenty to talk about.
- OK. - They love the Mets and they like going to the movie theater.
Perfect. Your father and I love that stuff.
That's why we get along so well.
On Saturday afternoons, I go to a ball game,
and your mom goes to a movie about feelings.
[doorbell rings]
All right, that's them.
Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Robinson, welcome to our home.
These are my parents, Theresa and Jerry.
And these are my parents, Rob and Meg.
- Oh, so nice to meet you. - Lovely to meet you.
- Oh, come on in. - Hi.
- How you doing? - Hi.
Did you prep your parents? This is really important.
Yeah, I told them your parents love the movies and the Mets.
No! No, I said they like going to the Met.
Short for "Metropolitan Opera House."
And going to the theater for plays.
Oh, OK.
Uh, they're not prepped at all, then.
So, Rob, Meg...
We love the Mets so much. How about you guys?
We were just there on Saturday.
Just a splendid production.
Oh, when they beat the Phillies?
What? Someone got beaten at the Metropolitan Opera House?
No, no, I'm talking about the baseball team, the Mets.
But if someone got beaten at the opera house...
Ha-ha! I actually might go.
Uh... To save them!
My dad would go anywhere to save an opera lover.
We go to the opera all the time.
We place a ridiculously high value on education and cultural awareness.
Yes, our family motto is, "The more you know...
[both] ...it's still not enough."
[awkward laugh] Obviously, the Russos care about learning, too.
I mean, look how many books they have on...
[stammering] ...reality show celebrities.
See, the thing is, we really don't get to go to the opera often,
'cause, you know, we're too busy going to the movies.
I have a feeling you can relate to that.
Actually, no, we don't go to the movies.
We prefer live theater.
Well, we went to the theater once,
But, you know, the show seemed to end, like, right in the middle of the story.
I didn't get it.
That was the intermission.
You see Jerry, I told you there was more.
You know?
We don't think this is an intellectually stimulating environment for Talia.
I don't even have to confer with my wife on this.
Perhaps it's best that Max and Talia don't see each other anymore.
Well... hold on.
You're saying we can't see each other anymore because...
...what, my parents don't go to the opera house and they like the wrong kind of Mets?
We also don't like your books.
Talia, let's go.
- Mom, Dad, please... - Talia, let's go.
Talia, I tried.
Goodbye, Max.
All right, sorry I'm late.
I overslept and didn't have a chance to write the script.
But I am well-rested so that... is good.
Excuse me? You didn't write the script?
Don't worry, Harper, we'll just wing it.
Oh yeah, we'll just wing it.
Yeah, you know, I made puppets, they made a stage.
We all did what we said we were going to do, except for you.
Don't you care about us moving out?
Of course I do, Harper.
They're just kids. They love anything you put in front of them.
Look, we'll just be, like,
"Hello, puppet. How are you?"
You'll be, like, "Hello, puppet. I'm good, how are you?"
Right? Not bad, huh, kids? Yeah?
Sorry, kids. Show's canceled due to laziness.
[all kids] Aww...
- Wait a minute! - There's no show?
Zeke, you need to do something, or we can kiss our plexi-dome moonscape biosphere goodbye.
Hey, kids!
Puppet shows are great, but you know what's better?
Mimes! Whoa!
Look, I can pull a rope!
It goes on forever!
Wow, how about a donation, folks, huh?
Come on, put some money in the hat. Come on.
Put your hat back on, mister.
I'm not a "mister," I am in my late teens!
Way to go, Alex.
Once again, you've earned no money for our apartment.
What are you so mad about, Harper?
We'll just figure out another way to make money and move out.
[scoffs] You don't get it, do you?
If I can't rely on you for a simple puppet show,
how could I ever rely on you for something more important, like sharing an apartment?
I'm not moving out with you, Alex.
I'm moving out on my own.
Max, you all right?
I'm just writing Talia's name on my arm in mustard.
I really miss her.
I'm sorry, man.
Maybe I can help.
OK, there's only one "L" and you need an "A" at the end.
Thanks, man, but there's no point in me learning to spell her name now.
Mom and Dad didn't make a good first impression when they met her parents.
Yeah, of course they didn't. They don't im-press people,
- they de-press people. - I just...
I just wish there was a way that they could meet all over again, you know?
Hold on...
- [rings bell] - There is!
You could use the "clean slate" spell,
so Talia's parents don't remember meeting our parents.
- Really? - Yes.
Wow, you're usually not the one telling me to use magic to fix my problems.
I know. But, I do know what it's like
to have loved and lost a girl.
Twice.
And then another girl.
And I don't want that to happen to you.
Does the spell work through the phone?
All spells work through the phone now.
[snorts] It's not 1991.
All right, I'm calling the Robinsons.
[beeps]
- [phone ringing] - Rob Robinson speaking.
Hi, um... Is your wife in the room with you by any chance?
Yes, she's in the middle of practicing her violin...
- [violin squeaking] - [quietly] ...but I'd be happy to interrupt her.
OK, do it now!
Robinsons and Russos, clean the slate,
meet again and change your fate!
All right. Now I guess I just call back and invite the Robinsons over.
- [phone ringing] - Meg Robinson speaking.
Hello, Meg. This is Theresa Russo, Max's mother.
Ooh, hi, Mrs. Russo.
Do you have a cold? You sound like a teenage boy.
Thank you.
Listen, why don't you guys come over around six tonight?
Jerry and I think it's about time we met you guys.
Ooh, I'd have to cancel my violin lesson...
Oh, I'll make sure that happens. We'll be there.
[playacting] Hello, Annie. I'm home.
I bought us groceries for our new apartment.
Cool. Just put 'em in the cooking room.
- [laughing] - These bags are heavy.
- Can you help? - Sure, I'll help you.
Whew, I'm exhausted!
I'm gonna lay down and take a nap.
But you didn't even help me.
Well, you know how unreliable I am.
I can't even carry my own weight.
[laughter]
Yeah, that's why I'm a hero for just being friends with you.
The end!
[applause]
Oh, thank you, guys. Thanks for coming to the show.
Oh, I see it's allowance week, Jimmy. Thank you.
That Annie didn't lift a finger.
Right?
- Hey, guys. - Harper, great show!
where did you come up with all these characters out of thin air?
Annie really reminded me of somebody. Just...
Really, you couldn't tell that that was a thinly-veiled attack on Alex?
I could tell.
She reminded me of Alex!
So you want us to meet the Robinsons all over?
Wait, weren't we humiliated enough the first time?
Dad, Talia is my first real girlfriend, all right?
And you guys ruined it.
You gave us terrible information.
And you listened to me.
Which some people would say is worse.
Look, Justin did a spell so her parents don't remember any of it.
What do you say? Come on, Ma, Jerry...
Wanna give this another shot?
- I don't think so, Max. - [knocking on door]
Great, that's them. Let's do this!
[sighs] OK, fine.
- Hi. - Hello.
- Oh, hello. - Hi, I'm Meg Robinson. My husband, Rob.
It's so nice to finally meet Max's parents.
Yes, so nice to meet you, too.
You know, we've talked about it so much,
I feel like we've already met you. [laughs]
- Come on in. - Hello.
Hi, Rob, I'm Jerry.
Those calluses on my hands are not from me playing baseball,
but they're from me...
...rubbing my chin while thinking.
Yes, um, my dad does a lot of thinking.
He was on the thinking team back in college.
You know what I'm thinking about right now?
A book I'm reading about the Met.
Not the baseball team, the Mets.
I bet there's some culturally unaware people that might confuse the two.
[laughing]
Sometimes I have to force Jerry to stop reading about the Met
before we go to the Met.
We like the opera so much more than the movies.
That's nice. What's your favorite opera?
Her favorite opera is Winfrey.
What? Opera Winfrey, Ma. You watch it every day.
[forced laugh] He's kidding.
Ha-ha-ha!
I have an idea.
Let's all go see Wagner'sThe Ring.
It's playing at the Met tonight.
Oh, that would be wonderful!
Pardon me for interrupting this great time,
but is it OK if I still see your daughter?
Absolutely.
This is obviously a culturally stimulating environment for Talia.
We haven't found anyone else's parents
to be sophisticated enough to sit through 16 hours ofThe Ring.
[exclaims] What?
Sixteen hours?
Yes. Ah, I wish it were longer, too.
[feigning enthusiasm] Oh... this is gonna be a great evening!
So fun!
In 17 hours, I am so gonna get you.
[forced laughter]
Harper is still out there making tons of money making fun of me.
But I will say that that Annie has an undeniable charm.
Alex, You need to make things right with Harper,
so I can fulfill my dream and building a plexi-dome moonscape biosphere in your room.
[doors bang open]
All right, where should I put the dual power generator?
This is gonna be how we generate electricity in the biosphere.
- Hit it! - [both grunting]
See Alex, Zeke and I can work together.
Why can't you and Harper? I can't breathe.
Well, Harper and I don't need to work together.
I'm going to do my own show and move out by myself.
But you don't know how to make marionettes.
Oh, yes I do.
Turn this clever spell-caster into Alex, the puppet master.
Oh, no! That sounds like a spell!
Hey, I did not agree to be turned into a puppet!
Oh, these lederhosen are way nicer than mine.
[singsong] It's showtime.
Annie, it's time to get out of bed.
I only get up on weekends!
I'm gonna need a stage.
Build a puppet stage to earn a hefty wage.
Hey, everybody! Come check out this marionette show.
You're gonna like it so much better.
Lady, please help me.
I'm being forced to do this against my will.
Zeke! Just do the show, man.
Do it for us.
Do it for the plexi-dome moonscape biosphere.
Now, come on, let's dance.
The people love it.
Come on. Dance, Zeke!
Stop! Must... resist... the strings.
- [Zeke grunting] - [laughing]
Everybody stop! Don't go!
There's more!
Heather is about to accuse Annie of being selfish,
irresponsible, and of stealing her audience.
All right, we get it.
Annie's the cool one.
Justin, Zeke is resisting.
Just...Just turn him around and I'll kick him into helping.
[Zeke grunts]
- [grunting] - [yelling]
Oh, stop it! Stop!
I am not stopping until you do the show!
[all laughing]
Stop, stop! Please stop! I'll do it. All right, I'll do it!
- I'm out of here. - Zeke!
I'm not your puppet!
Zeke!
What about our biosphere?
Remote control marionettes. How 'bout that?
Now that's a show! Pay her, Mom.
[Alex] Thank you!
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Congratulations, Alex.
It looks like you're the one who gets to move out.
It's the Annie and Heather Show. Yay!
When we last left them, they were in the middle of an ugly argument
about irresponsible Annie with a heart of gold.
[playacting] Look, Heather, I made tons of dough,
so we can get an apartment.
I'm not gonna move out without you.
Aw, Annie, you're not perfect,
but you usually come through after a bad situation.
We're best friends forever.
[chuckles]
Seriously, we are.
I know!
But I can't wait for bad things to happen
for you decide to do the right thing.
I have to be able to count on you.
That sounds like a warning,
like we're gonna be living together.
Promise you'll pull your own weight?
- I promise. - And respect the chore chart?
And... Chore chart?
- Only if you respect my sleeping chart. - No.
All right, I didn't want to go through the trouble of making a chart anyway.
It's a deal.
[Theresa] They didn't see us, did they?
[Jerry] No, no, we got out clean.
What kind of language is that? And how can anybody follow it?
Hey, what's going on?
You guys are supposed to be at the opera with Talia's parents.
We snuck out!
Yeah, we're gonna go upstairs, take a nap,
then get something to eat, and sneak back in.
- They'll never know. - Don't you think they'll notice
when the lights come up for intermission?
That's right, there's an intermission!
Oh, Jerry, we have to go back.
Come on.
I'm still gonna get you in 13 hours.
Hi, Talia, how are... Oh, that's cute!
Clean that up!