Five eleven is your change.
Um, did you look at the bill I gave you?
Uh, yes, I gave you change for two 20s.
[chuckling] I know, but take a good look at it,
'cause I wrote my phone number on it.
Intentionally marking currency is a federal offense.
Look, it was just my silly way
of seeing if you'd like to go out some time.
My name's Sara.
Look, uh... Sara, I'm sorry.
It's just that you remind me of my old girlfriend.
She was a girl, too.
Looks like I got a lot in common with her.
Because I'm also a girl...
...who thinks you're cute.
Oh, great.
Now you're exactly like her. She thought I was cute, too.
What else? Do you like my clammy hands?
She loved my clammy hands. Go ahead, feel my clammy hands!
Wow! That was a little dramatic.
Good thing your next girlfriend likes drama.
[giggling] Call me.
we used to do that, too!
Oh my gosh, that cute girl was totally into you.
How could you just blow her off like that?
Because an appropriate amount of time has not passed
since I lost Juliet.
And that appropriate amount of time will be in the year...
[voice breaking] ...two thousand and never!
Justin, I know you're hurting from losing Juliet,
but you've got to find a way to move on.
Son, I remember when John Bender,
Benjamin Kenobi, Ponyboy, and I
were all in love with the same girl.
Mary-Ann Delou. [sighs]
And I had to just face the fact
that they had cool names and I didn't.
And it was... Oh, I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking this story has nothing to do
with your situation. And you're probably right.
But I got stuff going on too,
and sometimes I need to talk about it.
There were so many things I wanted to do with Juliet.
Like... Like see the Grand Canyon,
or swim with dolphins.
I didn't even get to take her on a boat ride in Central Park for her birthday.
Oh, look, dude, the chick got scratched by a werewolf, OK?
She turned old, like, 2,193 years old,
and then dragged her wrinkly self into the woods forever.
Let her go.
OK, first of all, it's 2,194 tomorrow.
Maybe that's why I'm so upset!
Maybe that's why I could use a little sympathy from you guys.
Alex, take it easy on him.
Look, sometimes you just gotta yank the bandage right off.
That's what I did with Mason.
It was hard, but I'm ready for my next relationship now.
And I know when it happens, we're gonna be together forever.
♪ Well, you know everything's gonna be a breeze ♪
♪ That the end will no doubt justify the means ♪
♪ You can fix any problem with the slightest of ease ♪
♪ Yes, please ♪
♪ But you might find out it'll go to your head ♪
♪ When you write a report on a book you never read ♪
♪ With the snap of your fingers you can make your bed ♪
♪ That's what I said ♪
♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪
♪ When you can get all you wanted in your wildest dreams ♪
♪ You might run into trouble if you go to extremes ♪
♪ Because everything is not what it seems ♪
♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪
♪ When you can have what you want by the simplest of means ♪
♪ Be careful not to mess with the balance of things ♪
♪ Because everything is not ♪
♪ What it seems ♪♪
Oh, it's a tent?
Thought the package said it was a life raft.
Hey, guys, I need something to put my camping stuff in.
Oh! Oh, my gosh.
Camping sounds like so much fun.
You know, sleeping under the stars in Central Park,
with three million other New Yorkers just one zipper away from attacking you.
That's why I'm gonna lay down this bubble wrap
all around the perimeter of this tent.
One pop and I'm outta there.
I could move faster if I had a shirt with a pocket
big enough to hold all my stuff in it, though.
Why don't you just wear your backpack, Max?
[laughing] Alex, a backpack without a shirt?
Come on, I'd be freezing.
Not to mention the chafing from when I'm running from attackers.
Backpack shirt.
I'm on it. Come on, Alex. You're gonna help me.
Oh, I'm not helping you with that.
Excuse me, sir. Pardon me.
Max, did you just see Juliet walk by?
Juliet? You mean, the one who got really old,
hobbled off into the woods and you're never gonna see again?
- Yeah, that's the one. - No, I don't remember her.
Maybe I didn't see her either.
Oh, wait a minute. You got a camping box, too?
All right, don't get jealous,
but Harper's making me a shirt to hold all my stuff in.
Max, I really don't have time for your randomness right now.
So why don't you just put your junk in a backpack?
Because, if I put a backpack on, there's a pretty good chance
I may just walk straight to school.
I'll be on my way.
Justin?
It's me. Juliet.
- Juliet? - I'm back.
- Is it you? - Yes.
It can't be.
- I must be dreaming. - No, no, it is.
It's your Snoogly-Boo-Boo McCuteykins.
Snoogly-Boo-Boo McCuteykins!
Oh, my gosh! It is you!
Juliet, you look great! You're young again!
What kind of moisturizer are you using?
I need to get me some of that.
OK, wait a minute. How'd this happen?
Uh... Lollipop.
- What? - Cream cheese.
What's going on with you?
OK, you know what? It doesn't matter.
I'm just so happy to see you.
So many people told me to just move on and let go,
but I knew there was a reason why I shouldn't.
And this is it.
I was right not to let go.
No, no, Justin, that's why I came back.
To tell you it's OK to let go.
What are you talking about? That doesn't make any sense.
You're right. It doesn't make any sense.
Let's talk about this later.
Wait, no, no, no. You can't leave.
I still want to take you on a boat ride in Central Park
and we can have a picnic on the rocks.
We were gonna do it for your birthday, and we still can.
- I'll meet you in the park tonight, OK? - OK.
Yes! My Juliet's back!
Whoo-hoo!
Hey, Dad, can I have this soup ladle?
I think it'll be perfect for when I'm out
ladling things in the wild.
Max, what do you think ladling is?
[yodeling]
What that has to do with soup, I have no idea.
Attention, everyone! My true love has returned!
And she's not 2,000 years old anymore!
Which is...
[chuckling nervously]
Justin, what is going on?
Juliet's back. I just bumped into her outside.
We have a date tonight.
I thought Juliet turned old and hobbled into the forest.
No, she did. But apparently our love overcame all that.
Oh, my gosh! Juliet is back! This is so exciting!
Juliet's back! Yay! Guess what?
Juliet's back! She's back! She's...
Justin, I promised your father
I wasn't gonna badmouth magic anymore, but sweetie,
this doesn't add up. And when things don't add up,
it's because there's usually magic involved.
And when there's magic involved, nothing good ever happens!
There. I said it.
I'm not badmouthing magic,
I'm just stating the facts.
Mom's right. This is weird.
Have we learned nothing from Dad's Mary-Ann Delou story?
Mary-Ann Delou?
So you're still thinking about her? Huh?
I... I was trying to help my son.
Moving on. It's healthy. Tell her, Justin.
Sometimes if you don't move on, they come right back.
What? Wait. Honey!
I think what Justin's trying to say
is that when people come back,
it's because they have something very important to say,
and you should listen to them.
Because they might say something like,
"It's time to move on!"
[coughing dramatically]
Hey, look what I made!
It's Max's backpack shirt.
It's pretty exciting.
Great! Now, I am all set to go camping in the park.
[yodeling]
- I can't believe you're here right now. - [laughing]
I actually thought I'd never see you again.
Yeah... And, um...
I know, sometimes people come back for a reason.
Um... You know how I was talking to you earlier
- about moving on? - Oh, I know.
Crazy, right? It's a good thing I didn't.
[exhales] Juliet, we need to run away and be together.
- What? - Look...
We need to get away from all this wizards and vampires stuff.
You know where we should go?
Missoula, Montana!
Wait, so, you mean, just you and me?
Yes, it'll be great!
No one around to tell us it's a crazy idea.
Because we're meant to be together.
It's gonna be so much fun.
Oh, that would be so much fun.
I know! And we can live on a ranch.
And... And I hear they have a historical Old West reenactment town.
We can get jobs there!
You as a cancan girl, and me as the piano player.
But I wouldn't have to play, because it's automatic!
It just... [miming silently]
It's a reenactment town? That's costumes, right?
And we wouldn't have to tell Alex?
We wouldn't have to tell anyone.
We can get on my dad's magic flying carpet and we can go.
- Right now. - Oh, Justin.
Oh, I can't kiss you or go away with you.
Why not?
Because I'm in love with Zeke.
You're in love with Zeke?
It's because he can do a back flip, isn't it?
I knew I should have taken that tumbling class with him
when I had the chance.
Um...
I'm not Juliet.
I'm Harper.
What?!
You...!
[spluttering]
Well, that explains the skipper outfit, I guess.
Yeah, I made it myself. Do you like it?
Excuse me for just one second.
[clears throat]
[splash]
You could have just said no.
Why would you do this, Harper?
I thought I was getting reunited with my girlfriend!
I was trying to help you.
You have a really deranged idea of what help is.
Wait a minute, are you Alex pretending to be Harper
pretending to be Juliet? 'Cause that's just sick.
No, no, it really is me, Harper.
If I was Alex, I would've sunk the boat in the middle of the lake.
Yeah, that's true.
Look, it all started off
when that girl was flirting with you at the Sub Station, remember?
OK, let's stare at the tree and I'll explain more.
Are you really gonna make Max that stupid backpack shirt?
No. A backpack shirt would be embarrassing.
And that hat?
Oh, don't start with me!
I just wanted to get you into the lair.
I can't stand to see Justin like this.
Well, I can't stand to see Justin hardly at all.
But I've gotten used to it, and so should you,
because Juliet is not coming back.
- Or is she? - No, she's not.
Didn't you see her hobble off into the woods?
I think Mason ate her.
All right, here's a thought.
Justin needs to move on, and if he can't hear it from us,
maybe he needs to hear it from Juliet.
But he already did hear it from her.
The old lady version of her.
Yeah, but come on, who listens to old people?
What if you made me look like Juliet, and then she told him?
Harper, that doesn't sound like you want to help Justin.
That sounds like you want to date him.
Oh, that's not it.
Why is it so hard to get you Russos
to do something nice for each other?
Because, when you're doing something nice for someone,
your guard is down. And that's when another Russo
will come right behind you and trip you.
OK, fine, I'll do it,
but only because you're doing all the work.
I'm just waving a wand.
Transfix. Transpose.
Make Harper look like Juliet, from head to toe.
Huh? How do I look?
You look great. You look great.
Um...
This is a lot more work than I thought.
OK, all right.
Transfix. Transpose. Make Harper look like
young Juliet, including the clothes.
There you go.
Testing, testing. [giggles]
I even have Juliet's voice.
I pale in comparison to Harper Finkle.
I've always wanted to hear her say that.
OK, now go and walk around Waverly Place
until you bump into Justin.
And I'll tell him that he should just move on from Juliet.
We'll have a moment, but that will be it.
Oh, what should we do about the backpack shirt for Max?
I'll... I'll throw something together.
OK, just make sure it's not shoddy workmanship.
It's Harper that's making that.
Don't push it, blondie.
[Harper] So when Alex turned me into Juliet, I had good intentions.
But then you started asking all those questions and I panicked.
Excuse me, sir. Pardon me.
Max, did you just see Juliet walk by?
Psst!
What are you doing? You're supposed to be with Justin.
I panicked.
Hey, my part of this was just waving a wand.
Now I have to motivate you, too?
But what if he starts asking me questions
before I can tell him to move on?
Like... how I became young,
or how I got back?
Just do what I do when people ask me for answers I don't know.
Just say random words until they change the subject.
- You sure that's gonna work? - Lollipop.
Can't get any more random than that.
- Cream cheese. - You just did.
Ooh, that totally works!
OK. [exhales]
- I'm going back in. - Good girl.
Justin. It's me.
Juliet.
You knew it was wrong to mess with my feelings!
No, I hadn't fully thought out my scheme.
So you admit it was a scheme!
- Can I finish? - You may.
I'll meet you in the park tonight, OK?
Yes! My Juliet's back!
- So, how did it go? - Pretty good.
- So you told him to move on? - OK, not pretty good.
Good. OK, a little less than good.
But not bad. We have a date tonight at the boat pond.
A date?
Harper, that wasn't the plan!
OK, I'll just go on the date with Justin
- and tell him to move on. - Fine.
Can you change me back to Harper?
I hate dressing this drab.
[Justin] Whoo-hoo! Juliet's back! Juliet's back!
Transfix. Transpose.
Make Harper look like herself, including the clothes.
OK!
[Justin] Juliet's back.
I just bumped into her outside. We have a date later tonight.
Oh my gosh, he's telling your parents about Juliet.
They're gonna know it was me.
No, they won't. Just act surprised.
[Jerry] ...hobbled off into the forest.
She did! Our love overcame all that.
Oh, my gosh! Juliet is back!
This is so exciting!
Juliet's back! Yay! Guess what? Juliet's back! She's back!
Justin, I promised your father
I wasn't gonna badmouth magic anymore, but sweetie,
this doesn't add up.
- How'd I do? - Mom's suspicious.
We need to throw her off our trail.
Should I say some random stuff?
No. Dad's trying to do something nice.
Time to trip him from behind.
I'm not badmouthing magic, I'm just stating the facts.
Mom's right. I mean, this is weird.
Have we learned nothing from Dad's Mary-Ann Delou story?
Mary-Ann Delou?
So you're still thinking about her?
I... I was just trying to help my son.
Moving on. It's healthy. Tell her, Justin.
Sometimes if you don't move on, they come right back.
What? Wait!
I think what Justin's trying to say
is that when people come back,
it's because they have something very important to say,
and you should listen to them.
Because they might say something like,
"It's time to move on."
[dramatic coughing] Harper, stop talking!
But I still don't understand how you thought
bringing a pretend Juliet back into my life would help.
You weren't moving on,
and I thought you needed to hear it from the person
you were still in love with.
It's time.
I should have known it was too good to be true.
I mean, where... Where's a guy like me
gonna find a girl like that again?
You probably won't find a girl like her again.
But that doesn't mean you won't find a girl you'll like again.
She's out there somewhere.
You just have to be open to finding her.
Wait, you're... you're not supposed to kiss Juliet.
You're supposed to be getting over her.
[sighs] I know.
That wasn't for Juliet.
It was for you, Harper.
Thank you.
No problem.
Transfix. Transpose.
Make Harper look like herself again, including the clothes.
[gasps] Thank you.
And, when you kissed me, I was Juliet,
so Zeke does not need to know about this.
[sighs] You know what, Harper?
I am gonna move on.
I think a part of me will always love Juliet.
- [crashing] - Help! My shoe!
Help me! Help me!
The tools in this thing are in the back.
This is not a good design.
Yeah, it's not.
You know, Alex made that.
Bravo! Bravo!
It's the best backpack shirt ever.
Harper, help him down.
Justin, be ready to trip him!
Ooh, I, uh...
I should have told you to wear flip-flops.
I don't want you to get your shoes wet.
You could... You could carry me.
Oh.
Yes... [clears throat]
I could do that.
I'm... I'm so sorry.
- Are you OK? - Yes, you broke my fall.
- Are you OK? - Uh, yeah, I'm better.
- Good. - I meant emotionally.
- My knee is jacked up. - [laughing]